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Nancy Cartwright puts out the creepiest Scientology advertisement of all time

Nancy_Cartwright2Scientologist extraordinaire, voice of Bart Simpson, and San Fernando Valley resident Nancy Cartwright — known to the locals as ‘Her Royal Governess’ — has provided what may be the creepiest Scientology advertisement of all time.

Readers of the Underground Bunker know that Cartwright has been heavily pushing her fellow Valleyites to come to one themed event after another where they have the pleasure of being held in a locked room until they fork over large donations for the renovation of a dull-looking building at Lankershim and Burbank Boulevards in North Hollywood.

Nancy herself has donated more than $10 million to Scientology, and she’s been laser-focused on getting the Valley project done. And once again, Nancy comes through, this time with a … sculpture?


Baby Buddha? “As a baby, he gets a chance to ‘get it right’ this time. And as Buddha, he has the knowingness and wisdom of an OT.”

After reading that, and looking closely at this frightening little clay gnome, are we wrong in concluding that Nancy has created a little L. Ron Hubbard buddha-baby? Hubbard himself wanted his followers to think he was the reincarnation of Buddha. And Scientologists are taught to illustrate the founder’s ideas in clay.

Here, take a look at Hubbard’s own attempts to have his followers equate him with Buddha, from classic old covers of Advance! magazine…


Gosh, is Nancy going to need a lot of therapy after she finally snaps out of this.

Anyway, we also were leaked a fun new video promoting Saturday’s party, and it includes images from a big previous party that culminated with Nancy jumping up and down on stage — you’ll catch it at the end. It’s fun stuff.


We love our tipsters. And if anyone can attend Saturday night, we’d love some eyewitness accounts!


Posted by Tony Ortega on September 3, 2014 at 14:10

E-mail your tips and story ideas to or follow us on Twitter. We post behind-the-scenes updates at our Facebook author page. Here at the Bunker we try to have a post up every morning at 7 AM Eastern (Noon GMT), and on some days we post an afternoon story at around 2 PM. After every new story we send out an alert to our e-mail list and our FB page.

Learn about Scientology with our numerous series with experts…

BLOGGING DIANETICS (We read Scientology’s founding text) 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25

UP THE BRIDGE (Claire Headley and Bruce Hines train us as Scientologists) 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48

GETTING OUR ETHICS IN (Jefferson Hawkins explains Scientology’s system of justice) 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14

SCIENTOLOGY MYTHBUSTING (Historian Jon Atack discusses key Scientology concepts) 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49

PZ Myers reads L. Ron Hubbard’s “A History of Man” | Scientology’s Master Spies | Scientology’s Private Dancer
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  • Bavarian Rage

    Really, Nancy?! A “safe haven” for children?! More like a coven of horror, I’m afraid…

  • Bob

    Nancy showed her true colors in a video interview where she said she was working toward being a god.
    Isn’t it ironic that she is the voice of the biggest little bad boy animated character on the planet.
    She has turned into THE ULTIMATE CARTOON CHARACTER representing the Cherch Of Cartoonology.
    Where you can become whatever your imagination can create to draw. Of course you never get beyond 2 dimensions.

    • Missionary Kid
      • Bob


    • Just Dee

      I remember an interview Nancy did a few years back. (I think it was with John Sweeney.) I got the impression she was striving to be god like, she insinuated it. But what really stood out to me was how scared of the outside world Nancy really sounded. Like it’s total mayhem & not a safe place to be. Scientology was the worlds only hope. She was scared to dealth of the outside world. It was really strange, yet sad.

      • Missionary Kid

        I have a neighbor who is a conspiracy theorist. His life is run by fear.

      • Bob

        Just Dee,
        When your in the bubble it is sooooooooooo safe. Like Brave New World.
        The cherch drives home how unsafe the outside world is. Of course it’s true but it’s been that way since the beginning of history. No reason we have to live in fear.
        As a result clams are afraid of the outside and afraid of screwing up on the inside.

  • Jgg2012

    Was this an example of study tech? They always make clay models to better understand words (in this case, the word “conman”).

  • George Layton

    Sometimes I believe these people are trying to bring back shock therapy treatment.

  • outraged

    DisQuit is Very Annoying. The upgrade is a downgrade, but who’s complaining? At least it doesn’t come after us if we logout.

    • Mark

      More like Die-Squit, because it’s such a pain in the arse!

      • outraged

        or Di-Squidward, also a pain in the butt.

  • Bobby Andrews

    Is it Just me or does all that frivolity seem just a little bit forced ?

    • Cosmo Pidgeon

      Just a little.

    • Gabbyone

      The only word to describe it is manic.

    • 0tessa

      Yes, it is totally orchestrated.

    • Eivol Ekdal

      Frivolities are for Theetie Weeties – this is a deadly serious game!

  • Mark

    Come to think of it, shouldn’t she be “Her Royal Governorship“? Logically “Her Royal Governor” would refer to somebody else in charge of Nut-job Nancy, like some deposed princeling fallen on hard times and compelled to run an asylum for the permanently potty…

    • Robert Eckert

      “Her Royal Governess” means a woman of royal family but who, for some reason, has a job baby-sitting and teaching someone else’s children.

      • Mark

        Stap me vitals, but you’re right, Robert; governess it is. I should read rather than skim—and I should have been asleep hours ago anyway. The “some reason” might still comprise such succulent gobbets as bend-sinister issue, morganatic marriages and wrong-side-of-the-blanket highjinks 😉

  • Panopea Abrupta

    Red-X Red-X Red-X

    For all left-coasters, Robert Eckert pointed out that San Francisco needs
    the same love and attention as we gave to JJ in Boston.
    As you may have noticed, JJ is currently, on the Tone Scale, invisible i.e. somewhere between -40
    and the square root of -1.

    Let us nail their sorry asses to the nearest available appropriate substance,
    ty Dodo and DirtyBlueBlood for the image Discus refused (it’s bloody gorgeous, I swear)

  • And I don’t rent cars!

    As appalling as Nancy Cartwright’s Baby Buddha is to look at, it is nothing compared to her purpose for this little sculpture.

    In July, Mike Rinder posted a flier for the Valley Org which described the fundraising done for a new Ideal Children’s Org in the LA area. (refresh)

    Whether Nancy Cartwright realizes it or not, she is contributing to, and should eventually be made responsible for, the creation of an ideal situation for future child abuse and neglect. Her creative works and legacy will not be made of clay, like this infant Buddha, but will be made out of the ruined lives of her fellow scientologists’ children. Not only is she exposing these children to Hubbard’s study tech and dianetics/scientology processes and auditing at early age, she is also creating feeder lines into the “church’s” Cadet Org and, eventually, the Sea Org.

    This story, coming on the heels of Mareka Brousseau’s story today about her childhood, makes Nancy Cartwright about as repulsive a human being as I can think of!

    • Frodis73

      So freaking disgusting and sad.

    • I’d question this image, but the misspellings prove that it’s authentic.

    • Gabbyone

      No words from the Gabbyone.

    • Captain Howdy

      Nancy was just some lonely little gnome looking for some McLovin and she ended up getting royally screwed.

      • And I don’t rent cars!

        Sweet. I feel better already.

        So now, down a rabbit hole I go to explore a Cave below. Thank you.

        • Captain Howdy

          Careful, it’s a very deep and dark Cave.

          • And I don’t rent cars!

            Only the very best. I would expect no less.

            • Captain Howdy

              Especially The Birthday Party.

        • MaxSpaceman

          Hi Cars – I saw your post about you and nose et al. I have a couple questions if you would mail me at Max.Spaceman @ yahoo. com , would really appreciate that. Thanx.

          • And I don’t rent cars!

            Sorry, Max, I just now saw your message. Maybe this will answer your questions. (I still don’t have my own ‘puter and I’m working off an old borrowed laptop, which often crashes when using email so I don’t use that often. I only have one email address, under my real name, but if the following info doesn’t address your concerns, I’ll get another address using my username. For you, my dear Max, I hope you know I’d gladly do that.)

            Anyway, this is what I told Derek Bloch and others about the content of the list this evening:

            The list has been flagged for abuse and has been deleted from Pastbin and, at most, contained the following – username(s), real name, spouse’s name (just a few mentioned), city, state. That’s all. No phone numbers, no addresses (email or otherwise), no zip/postal codes, no workplace info, no friends or family info. And I’ve been told, some of the locations were out of date as some people have moved several times since. Just a simple, jumbled list with no descriptive summaries.

            In your case, the only username was Max Spaceman, followed by a name that I assumed was yours but have no way of knowing and there wasn’t anything else – no city no state. Just a username and a name. Nothing else.

            So that’s all but if you need more info, let me know and we talk by email after I set it up. 🙂

            • MaxSpaceman

              thank you Cars. The name was correct and I’m very hearsayable and concerned as there are many Don Larsens and Mike McClaughrys out there. I would appreciate a comm. if you could. my name with a dot bet. 1st and last @ yahoo .com Thank you Cars.

  • Eclipse-girl

    I am sorry but it can’t be L Ron because the poorly created buddha does not have flippity flappity lips

  • Illinoisian

    That smirking little sculpture is a Bare Faced Mess.

    • Missionary Kid

      Bare Faced Mess will be put on the list of LRH nicknames. I’ll post it later.

      • outraged

        The Buddha Baby has it’s own list by now. ;-}

        YOu know, it kind of looks like the young thirtysomething LRH.
        Or maybe it looks like the old gnarly Slappy McDonald.

        • Missionary Kid

          I’m not making a list for Buddha Baby because I think it’s a limited subject, but his fat face does look like LRH.

  • Anonymous Confused Person

    Wait a minute. If that thing is supposed to be Hubbard as a baby Buddha, and if its being a baby is supposed to let it “‘get it right’ /this time/” (emphasis mine), is Nancy trying to state that Hubbard didn’t get it right the /first time/? If so, I think I’m actually in agreement with her.

    • outraged

      You are overthinking. ;-}

      The baby Buddha is Hubbard as he has evolved since he died. LRH returned to earth as ceramic creepy Buddha Baby created by Miz Nancy.

      • Barbara Angel

        Naaaah he reincarnated as a Turd, the same as he was when he was alive.
        Fortunately he has now been *flushed* away into the giant river of poop where he and his scam belongs

    • If you meet Baby Hubbard Buddha on the road, kill it!

      • outraged

        And if you meet the Bugger Hubber Clubber Blubber on the road, kill it!

  • outraged

    The Buddha baby looks like Chucky The Killer Doll. It’s about to leave the flier and take a bite out of us. Smash it!!

  • Baby


    • Baby

      Scientologists aren’t the only ones who can party.. Woo Hoo.. Bunker Party..Rock on.. We got the band, balloons, booze, sunglasses..dancing , a little herb for those who partake.. ( in back room) so Par TA Nekked..

      • And I don’t rent cars!

        Well, aren’t you the clever baby these days with your animated gifs! Good job.

        Hope you saw the Kool smoking Baby Buddha down below.

        • Baby

          Toot Toot.. Where Ya been cars.. I love gifs hahaha and yes Dodo helped me..xo Yes..I saw that greasy baby with his cig and $ .. ugh.. I’m rolling him tonight when he’s passed out!

    • outraged

      oh no! The emoticons are coming, the emoticons are coming…

      • Barbara Angel

        Good we really need one to show when we are joking to avoid feelings being hurt. Posting and venting are therapeutic as is laughter, but words don’t show a tone of voice or facial expressions that indicate
        I.t’.s a J.o.k.e or meant in a s.a.t.i.r.i.c.a.l. way, So yes bring on the emoticons pleeeeeease!

  • Guest

    She makes Hubbuddhas, I make DMs.

    • Nothing wrong with DM that enough Bondo and Zap-A-Gap can’t fix!

    • outraged

      Excellent! Do you put pins in his face? He looks voodooish.
      Love the eyes and that mouth, very slappyesque.

    • joan nieman

      He’s an ugly son of a bitch, isn’t he?

  • Scientology’s / Drug-Free World’s / Narconon’s Truth About Drugs program…

    Seriously! Their own PR shows that any separation between that program and CoS is a bad joke:

    Seattle Scientologists Share the Truth About Drugs with the Youth of their City (PRWeb)

  • Cosmo Pidgeon

    It’s one thing to make a weird sculpture… That’s cool…..It’s another to not be aware of how weird it is…and to add so much importance to it makes her look like an ass.

    • Baby

      I personally think that it looked more like Krusty than Hubs..

      • Todd Tomorrow

        Creepy art therapy.

      • Drat

        Baby, why didn’t you tell us you got a posing gig?

        • Baby

          That is NOT funny Drat! hahahha actually it is..

  • Mike Leopold

    Awww….She’s doing it… …for… the children.

  • Free Minds, Free Hearts

    I. can’t. look.

    • Sarah James

      I know, right? Make it go away.

  • Bob

    Gee, I thought Buddha was enlightened already, hence there is no need to ‘get it right’ this time or any time after. In fact in terms of spiritual enlightenment, he’s pretty much got everyone beat… if you believe that stuff.

  • edge

    Correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t there a point along the Scientology Bridge that you’re fed the idea that Hubbard is God?

    • 0tessa

      No, but Hubbard liked to think himself as the incarnation of Buddha in the West.
      True is that Hubbard had a god-like status in Scientology. They idolize him, as he was the founder and the source (of the Scientology science fiction that is).

      • kemist

        In the traditions in which bottisvatas don’t enter Nivana (and therefore never reincarnate), Metteya is supposed to come down to earth after buddhism ceases to be practiced as a religion anywhere on earth. The ideal world the actual scripture describes is also one of oneness, lack of desire, possessions and suffering, which is quite a bit different from the stated goal of sciloontology, which is to make little gods (OTs) with each their own reality.

        But I guess that’s just a detail to a white, ignorant habitual liar out to take the money out of people’s pockets.

        • richelieu jr

          I don’t think Hubbard did a lick of research into Buddhism or Taoism or anything past his little explanations he received when he was on vacation fora coupe of weeks with daddy and complaining about how dirty and stupid the Chinese were…

          He probably figured, ‘Those yellow commies will swallow anything!” After all, he’d already proved that White, Middle Class Americans would.

    • Captain Howdy

      Hubbard liked to encourage the idea that he was the creator referred to in the 8th dynamic which is the infinity or “God’ dynamic.

    • Barbara Angel

      “point along the Scientology Bridge that you’re fed the idea that Hubbard is God?”

      Only if you have your Kool-Aid shaken and not stirred.
      blubbard was a, *barking mad sadistic drug addicted psychotic*, who didn’t even believe his own Brain Fart but laughed at those who did. The whole thing was a class A scam designed to ‘get rich quick’…..and he did.

    • richelieu jr

      Many insiders say that at oneppint hewas definitelky pkanniung a roll-out to say that he was Jesus and Buddha, and the Wizard of Oz, or whatever. In ‘My Billion Year Contract’, Nancy Many, who knew HUbbard personally, says that she was presented with thes documents and was clealry epected to cheer and say they were awesome, which she did, but she was freaked out. She also compared Hubbard to Dr King art one point,and she said it was like she’d dropped poop on the table; Everyone was offended that she should insult Hubbard like that…

      Those people have their heads pretty far up their arses, and a very tenuous grip on any recognizable reality. Their ‘morality’ if it can be so called ‘Scientology Ethics’ is like Bizarro world in the SUperman comocs, EMpathy and love are wrong, don’t do anything for free, etc…

      It’s not that all Scilons are assholes, they just think they should be; and they’re doing thier best (unless they’re trying to get you through the door or to sign anything..

  • Gosh

  • Jack99

    I look very forward to the end of this cult.

    • outraged

      We are at the beginning of the end already. Yes!!

  • outraged
  • violetskyye

    Their Valley Org is right near the big Metro station in North Hollywood. I’ll bet they send people out to harass the poor commuters taking the Metrolink train. No way I would pay to attend this awful “gala”, but since it’s near my local Panera Bread Restaurant, maybe I’ll go have a sandwich and take a peek for the cause to see the totally deserted event.

  • Pierrot

    *** RED X +–+ RED X +–+RED X +–+ RED X *** Thursday the 4th of September

    Greetings Early Birds and Night Owls, wishing us all a good stats day.

    Tampa & California are ahead of the pack, (no surprise there). Nashville, with Cincinnati and Albulquerque are following way behind, the North East hardly features.

    We had 58 ads yesterday, giving us a moving average of 68 per day for the last 4 days. Get your stats up and flag away.

    Please read the IMPORTANT NOTICE about the flagging options CAREFULLY.

    DON’T route out, BLOW, Get HELP, get OUT. CALL 1-866-XSEAORG

    Ty AP

  • NekMinit

    1st post. Outsider who fells kinda like a weird lurker, but gotta say. I was thinking while reading that flyer. well, they have realised they should NOT have enforced all those abortions, I mean 2/3rd generations sound like they make the bulk of the chur…. cul… umm pyramid sche… yeh, unlucky for all involved (my condolences to all that endured this). There is partly less left because of those nasty scibots enforcing that punishment And then I thought. Wait a minit. There is another angle too. They/she are attempting the scheme to bait in whole families, quickly whisk the kids off to the Sea Morgue. And then they think, DOH(!!!!!!!×affinity) HOOKED THE WHOLE FAM BAMZ. disconnect, no need to know that “myth”, Until You Need To Know. Yeh well that was my thoughts. Excuse my intruding. And sorry if it’s incoherent. Cos I just looked at the weird picture thingy next to the blurb I ended up not reading but pondering aloud via tap tap tip tap tap of the tiny “smartphone”

    • outraged

      Hey, Welcome to We hate!!

      We are all lurkers in disguise.

      I am also an OutSider I suppose but I have commented enuf now to pretend to know something.

      One thing I DO know, ScientoLIEogy is attempting to scheme every witch way they can.

      • NekMinit

        2 true. I have seen a few comments from never-ins and I think they have been implanting inspiration to speak up and say. YES i have heard of scientology and alotta lot of the the abuses and overall the…. IIIIIEEESSS that fall out of their arses

    • aquaclara

      Hi, and welcome! Yeah, if somebody didn’t already know, that picture of the Buddha baby would be a good giveaway that there is something off about this cult. Stick around. There’s more fun on the way, including some courtroom drama in Tampa later on.

    • Barbara Angel

      Hello there NekMinit Welcome, keep reading about this cruel; hideous, vicious criminal cult and be prepared to have your socks…shocked….off. The actions of this cult are beyond shocking, it’s now 2014 and they’ve been getting away with *murder* literally for decades, it’s only through the internet that they are finally being exposed for what they truly are which is, Dumb, Delusional and Damn right DANGEROUS. Time is ticking and thanks to people like the proprietor of this site Mr Tony Ortega and the dedicated hard work of many others, this cult WILL be STOPPED. It has to be stopped due to the horrendous crimes and devastating harm they are causing.
      There are many sites out there exposing them, but having a good read through the older posts here will bring a frightening clarity to what the cult is really all about. You could have a quick look at the one below when you finish reading up on this site.

  • 0tessa

    “…inspired by all the good work we doing for mankind”. Don’t make me laugh. Extorting money from people for idle buildings while brainwashing them with bad science fiction – good work?! You may be fooling yourself Mrs. Cartwright, but you do not fool me.

    • Are_sics

      work they doing make you laugh? Building they opening be empty. Work be done when wallet be empty. Misunderstood words be cleared, missed words not be. Suppose.

      Enough of that — I wonder if there’s a short conniption happening, or someone getting choked or thrown into file cabinets, every time one of these flyers isn’t proof-read. (That’s a lot of violence, potentially!)

      I also wonder how it’s going over that she sees this building as a supportive daycare center while parents are away doing other things (to have the money extracted from their wallets). Is that a sales pitch? Is that why they have to go ideal?

  • Sydjazz

    Hmmm looks like yoda he does

    • Robert Eckert

      After went over to the dark side yoda did?

  • joan nieman

    That video is just down right creepy!!

    • giggler

      everything about scientology is creepy!

  • Sydjazz

    Scientology it’s just like amway without the cheesy products …oh wait

  • Eivol Ekdal

    Listened to some critical thinking pod casts last night. This one is kind of relevant …
    “Dr. Elizabeth Loftus shares her research into the fallibility and manipulability of human memory, with implications for why this kind of testimony is not considered good evidence.”

    Also, one for Captain Howdy…
    “Harry Houdini and Sir Arthur Conan Doyle-
    The clash between the champions of scientific skepticism and supernaturalism.”

    • Graham

      Thanks for the links Eivol. When I was going through my ‘New Age’ phase I had been impressed that someone as seemingly rational as the author of Sherlock Holmes had been a spiritualist. Houdini has much in common with The Amazing Randi. What an insult, to claim that Houdini was really a spiritualist hiding his ‘gift’ by pretending they were tricks. What the deluded will do in order to hold on to their beliefs!

      • richelieu jr

        Houdini is the father of Randi and Penn and Teller and their ilk. They really are heroes to me.

  • Sydjazz

    At least the high priestess of b.s is good at her clay models… Good at making them creepy as heck

  • Jenstnick

    This is all I could think about after seeing her sculpture

    • outraged

      that is the grossest thing I’ve ever seen.

      • Jenstnick

        Oh it’s awful. But so is that sculpture

    • Shannon#1

      Totally gross and totally funny!

  • Missjune75

    That video is amazing. Is it their focus on Hubbard’s tone scale that makes Scientologist so crazy and enthusiastic or is it lack of sleep from slave labor or something else?

  • Sejanus

    Why am I not surprised Nancy Cartwrong made an ugly baby….clay notwithstanding.

  • John Smith

    Ok, initial thought after watchinig the video, CULT those people look like they’re in a CULT! Well who da thunked that!!

  • outraged

    Bubbard Booddah Baby wins hands down as the creepiest installation made by any KoolAider ever.

  • Snuzey

    I always think the most fanatical members of the scam are the ones who are closest to blowing in some ways. She has got $10million+ of investment in this and it aint working. She must know this (in the deepest recesses of the unaudited brain), therefore she has to sink deeper and deeper into fanaticism to try and make it work. Good luck with that. It wont work. No matter how many strange looking clay models you make.

    • InterestedObserver12

      You are absolutely right, Snuzey. Festinger developed his theory of cognitive dissonance, the most validated of all sociological theories, in the course of studying how members of millenial cults react when a predicted doomsday passes without the world coming to an end. As you have intuited, the ones who stay become even more fanatical in their belief that the cult is right and the rest of the world is wrong.

  • Barbara Angel

    Poor deluded cow, 10 Million $$$$$$$ later…… her artistic offering is about all she got for her money.
    She has my deepest sympathy as she is still guzzling the Kool-Aid by the gallon and became totally fucked in the head.
    Discovering the truth about $camology is a few mouse clicks away. She chooses Not To Look, but one day she will and her world of delusion will crumble. I really do feel sorry for these fools, she has her head up her bum and is enjoying the view, but the day will come…and sadly she’ll be shattered.

  • Shannon#1

    I think “N” is a bit full of herself.

    • And I’m Cute, Too

      You mean Nancy? Her “Royal Governess”? The woman whose stated goal as a Scientologist is to become a god? She’s full of herself!?

      Say it ain’t so…

  • BiigBangBaby

    “by all the good works that we doing for mankind.” You would think with such a high IQ and abilities gained from all the auditing, she’d at least have foresight to have someone proof read this before going to press.

    • Suppressive Tomato

      It is kind of astounding, what with the incredible, life-changing power of Study Tech, that almost every Scientology promo or advert I’ve seen in The Bunker’s Sunday Funnies and elsewhere has at least one glaring typo or grammatical error – even when judged by Scientology’s own strange sentence constructions. It just makes them look so stupid. One of the most common errors I’ve noticed is the inability to choose between “it’s” or “its” properly. They also have trouble knowing when something is plural or possessive. Lots of unnecessary apostrophes. I know COB won the war against semicolons, but the apostrophe is making an insidious attack on mankind’s only hope.

  • smew

    Ack! OK, as a never-in, I would love to know how Scientology and Buddhism get conflated. I’m no practicing Buddhist, but I’ve read enough that I don’t see how such a terrifying set of utilitarian “ethics” can coexist with Buddhism. Any wisdom and wisecracks would be appreciated!

    • richelieu jr

      Well, I am not a practising Buddhist either, by any means, but I did live with one for a few years and I came to realize that a lot of people, who get into it really believe that you get out of the unic-verse what you mput in, so that if things are hard for you, that’s what you deserve. Ia m not saying this is the way it is supposed ot be, but a lot of people think and act so. I was on a Buddhist retreat in a recreation of a Tibetan Buddhist Temple when 9/1 took place…

      The few who took time to notice either acted like it was no big deal (All is nothingness, the ‘Vide’) or, if they chose to speak, said the peole in the towers must have done somehting ina past life, which came dangerously close ot blaming the victims to me.

      I am sure there were a lot Scientologists who would agree with that, before they went out in yellow T-Shirts to get photo ops ‘detoxifying’ firefighters with ‘Touch assists’ ans getting ins the way of real professionals and helpful volunteers.

  • chukicita

    Why are the child’s hands so swollen? Clearly this woman has been a cartoon for far too long.

    • Mark Foster

      too much wanking, but a few intensives of confessionals will handle that!

  • richelieu jr

    Boy, she sure is generous! The Buddha is as knowing as an OT?

    I’m sure eh’d be pleased as punch at this high honour! Really, it’s just too much!

  • richelieu jr

    Hubbard was trying to fob off this ‘I’m a font of Eastern Wisdom perhaps even.. Wink, Wink…. The B-Man hisself…!” for years. He even did that godawful ‘musical Opera’ thingy, and had the balls to try and convince actual Asians of his wonderfulness. Didn’t work too well.

    he was probably right: The problem with China is that there are just too damn many Chinsese there. He was reallyt he worst sort of colonialist and cultural appropriator; He didn’t put any more effort into it than Katy Perry did for he clip, then expected everyone to kneel…

  • Stephanie Loving

    Again and again … no one proofreads (or word clears?). Nancy says:
    “He was inspired by all the good works we doing for mankind.”
    “we doing” … She’s not trying to sound straight outta Compton so I know it’s another bleary-eyed staff person missing the grammar details.

  • richelieu jr

    It’s all quite clear to me- Cartwright knows something we don’t know– Hubbard is back, as a little humonculus attached to Miscavige’s body, like Voldemort in the first Harry Potter, or more exactly– Kuato, the evil head of the Martian Cult in Total recall– The resemblance is frightening! (as usual, Hubbard was ripping off better thinkers and writers than himself)

    Tell me you don’t see Cartwright’s Buddha and Hubbard’s true, cyst-covered twisted self (refresh)…:

  • The arrogance of that little shit Cartwright. Get therapy? That moron will drop dead like her best friend and my long-time friend Rose Goss, an “OT8” who died of a heart attack at 53 – proving that Nancy Cartwright is INCAPABLE of learning a damned thing. She speaks lines that people write for her. Otherwise, brain dead.

  • Phil de Fontenay

    Remember that Hubbard bust that had to be installed in every church?

    It was so freakishly creepy that I bet many had to waste good money getting
    their withholds off about the stupid thing ~LOL

  • aegerprimo

    Baby Buddha is CREEPY!

  • allioops

    “inspired by the good works we doing for mankind” nice sentence structure from the High “level” thetan.

    • Mark Foster

      honey, that´s what they be DOIN´ ! and…she dropped the pipe when she was typing that…

  • Pepper

    Since when is Buddah a white guy with red hair?

  • MaxSpaceman

    Governor Cartwright exteriorized to create her baby buddy buddha, morphed on the original seen here:

  • AintMizBahavin

    ok maybe its me but cartwright looks like a string puppet being jerked around which by literal definition she really is but her jump dance is beyond creepy

  • AintMizBahavin

    oh yea and fyi cartwright the face of the plastic buddha is a face only scientist will love mainly because they would experiment on it trying to figure out why that plastic thingy looks like a cross between jason, krueger and dumbard

  • Mark Foster

    strong is the whackness in this story…this shit is beyond surreal…

  • Pere Ubu


    Looks more like Aleister Crowley to me.

    Reminds me of another baby, as well:

    “Stand right where you are, Bertie,” he said, without moving. “Now, tell me honestly, how does it strike you?”

    The light from the big window fell right on the picture. I took a good look at it. Then I shifted a bit nearer and took another look. Then I went back to where I had been at first, because it hadn’t seemed quite so bad from there.

  • peakofelephants

    Nancy forever ruined the Simpsons for me. Even re-runs. Years after finding out she was in the Co$, not to mention one of its major funders, I still feel like an integral part of my youth has been stolen from me.

  • allioops

    Mark Foster! Dig it!!!

  • JackTheGiantKiller

    Tragic…She is giving Bart Simpson a bad name…

  • whiskey tango
  • Katie Wohldmann

    Bart Simpson is a freakazoid scientologist? How disappointing. All my memories of watching The Simpsons as a child are now ruined.

  • chuckbeattyexseaorg75to03

    Incredible insightful coverage in Tony’s today’s hindsight thoughts of his past year’s best articles.

    I don’t think any published journalist looked this deep into Scientology’s intricacies to “get” where the Scientologists have lodged themselves mentally.

    I’m so glad Tony’s not mentally damaged by his in depth coverage of the Scientologists’ brainwashing details.

    It’s no joke that Nancy Cartwright has a mega long mental trek ahead of herself to get out of the Scientology Hubbard twisted depths she’s plowed herself into.