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Scientology Slackers: How to Audit Away Your Passive-Aggressive, Dominating Deviancy!

RightWrongClaire Headley is taking us on our journey to train as Scientologists. She and her husband Marc were Sea Org workers who escaped from Scientology’s International Base in 2005. She spent years working with Scientologyโ€™s โ€œtech,โ€ and was trusted to oversee the auditing of Tom Cruise. Go here to see the first part in this series.

Claire, we’re so happy to be finishing up the Grades. We’ve been pretty amazed at what rates people pay on these levels, and what they get in return. Let’s see what we get here on “Expanded Grade Four.”

CLAIRE: Expanded Grade 4 is known for handling your service facsimiles.

THE BUNKER: Our what?

CLAIRE: Your service facs.

THE BUNKER: Come again?

CLAIRE: Your ser facs.

THE BUNKER: Hey, stop that!

CLAIRE: Sorry. You know how everything gets reduced to jargon in Scientology.

THE BUNKER: We’re going to service the facsimile? Why, does it need more paper or ink?

Up_The_BridgeCLAIRE: Not that kind of facsimile. Not a facsimile machine. In the language of Scientology, a facsimile is a mental image picture, and a “service facsimile” is a certain type of mental image that a person uses to justify their own behavior. You use a “ser fac” to convince yourself that you’re right and the other person is wrong, so you can dominate them. Scientology founder L. Ron Hubbard defines it as a part of the reactive mind that you hold onto to use to your own ends: “For example, a person may keep an old injury in restimulation so that his family has to look after him.”

The theory here is that you will use this mechanism, unwittingly, at various points in your life so you gain advantage over others. Addressing this, and removing those ser facs, is the main thrust of Expanded Grade 4.

And we can’t discuss this subject without also referring back to Keeping Scientology Working #1, which has several important (to Scientology) references to service facs and the impact they have had on Scientology’s history.

THE BUNKER: To refresh our memory, “Keeping Scientology Working” is a manifesto of sorts, a set of tenets that Scientologists recite, promising to advance Scientology by only using “correct technology.” How are service facsimiles related to this?

CLAIRE: We’re told that problems with using “incorrect technology” happen when “the service facs of people make them defend themselves against anything they can’t confront, good or bad, and seek to make it wrong.”

This may seem like a minor thing.

But ser fac is equivalent to “out ethics” in Scientology — you’re a bad person if you are dramatizing your ser facs (or, more simply, if you think you are right and anyone else in Scientology is wrong).

THE BUNKER: We’re trying to understand this concept, and what we’re coming up with is that this “ser fac” business trains a Scientologist always to question himself if he ever thinks he’s right and other people are wrong.

And we suppose that would tend to strengthen the idea that the tech is always right, and if it isn’t working for you, it must be your fault.

Are we on the right track?

CLAIRE: Precisely right.

It’s another complex layer of smoke and mirrors. Out ethics, overts and withholds, ser facs, evil purposes… These are all things that are “wrong with you” as a Scientologist and they relate to what you’re doing that is causing your own demise.

Also, Hubbard says Australians are infamous for their ser facs, so David Miscavige would constantly call Mike Rinder a “ser fac’y bastard”…

THE BUNKER: We cannot wait to call him that the next time we see him.

So let’s look at some specific questions from this level to see how our auditing on Expanded Grade 4 is going to remove our ser facs and stop us from dominating other people by telling them we’re right and they’re wrong.

Here are some actual questions from Grade 4 that your auditor is going to ask you, over and over again, and for hundreds of dollars an hour…

“Tell me a flow you could get another to know something about.”

“Tell me some things another would want to have happen again to you.”

“In this lifetime what overt has another committed on you? How has he justified it?”

“Point out some things which are causing things.”

“In this lifetime, what do you use to make others wrong?”

“In this lifetime, what do you use to dominate others?”

“In this lifetime, what do you use to hinder the survival of others?”

Mesmerizing.

Claire, can you tell us something about your own experience on this level?

CLAIRE: In terms of my own experience, certainly there were times I reacted and hated being told I was wrong.

When I left, I truly felt like a broken human, in a bizarre way devoid of the ability to experience normal human emotion. Whether that was from years of terrible nutrition and sleep deprivation or hundreds of hours of programming or both, that’s how I felt.

So I came to the conclusion that simple knowledge and education in the real world was far more powerful than this.

THE BUNKER: That is powerful, Claire. And what are we going to spend for Grade 4?

CLAIRE: For this level I would estimate $20,000.

COST THIS WEEK: $20,000

COST SO FAR: $123,197

 
——————–

Part 2 of the Bill Straass Story

More on the saga of Bill Straass from Karen de la Carriere, J. Swift, and Angry Gay Pope…

 

 
——————–

A Scientologist Is Dating That Actress In That Thing

Fun story yesterday from Daily Mail, and we’ll try to summarize it quickly for you. So a piece of Twilight fan fiction throws in a little BDSM, gets repackaged, and somehow turns into the biggest selling trilogy in like, the history of trilogies. Salman Rushdie, however, says about it, “I’ve never read anything so badly written that got published. It made Twilight look like War and Peace.” Millions of fans, however, wait with bated breath to find out who is going to play the lead characters in the movie version and are predictably outraged when the leading lady turns out to be the daughter of a pair of famous movie actors, as if Hollywood wasn’t already a nepotistic ghetto.

Anyway, the leading lady happens to be dating an actor who is part of a prominent acting Scientology family, and so we all must now wonder, is the leading lady going to be sucked into the church?

Um, we don’t know. The only part that really interested us is that the leading lady’s boyfriend is the son of Joe Reaiche, whom we told you about recently, specifically about one of his other Scientology kids being spotted with Connor Cruise, who Reaiche said was just about the worst person his daughter could be associated with.

If none of this is making sense to you, we apologize, but we are having a hard time caring that a wealthy kid whose parents are fading movie stars has been picked to bring a piece of fan fiction to life on the big screen for millions of ungrateful fans who think some other wealthy kid should have got it, and that her boyfriend grew up in a family that thinks L. Ron Hubbard actually spent several previous lives as a series of race car drivers on a nuclear-bomb booby-trapped race course here on Earth 40,000 years ago.

All we really know is, Joe Reaiche is a helluva guy and we hope to have a beer with him soon.

Excelsior!

 
——————–

David Miscavige Subpoenaed

One final tidbit: we learned last night that a subpoena had been served on a representative for Scientology leader David Miscavige, requiring him to appear at Thursday’s temporary injunction hearing in Monique Rathbun’s lawsuit which is being held in New Braunfels, Texas.

As for Miscavige actually showing up, we were told: “don’t hold your breath.”

 
——————–

Posted by Tony Ortega on September 11, 2013 at 07:00

E-mail your tips and story ideas to tonyo94@gmail.com or follow us on Twitter. We post behind-the-scenes updates at our Facebook author page. Here at the Bunker we try to have a post up every morning at 7 AM Eastern (Noon GMT), and on some days we post an afternoon story at around 2 PM. After every new story we send out an alert to our e-mail list and our FB page.

If you’d like to help support The Underground Bunker, please e-mail our webmaster Scott Pilutik at BunkerFund@tonyortega.org

 

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  • Sydjazz

    Hey i can tell you you’re wrong for less than $20,000 just ask my hubby lol

  • KJP in Portland

    (Yawn) Good morning! (7:37pm here for us graveyard slackers). Did Debbie Downer come back getting her stats in? Seriously though, think good thoughts for me…have an interview in my EXACT field Friday afternoon and I look like close to a lock. Then, thank (insert your deity here) I can go back to regular days with weekends OFF. It’s been a long, sh*tty 3 years of graveyard, ugh.

    • Eclipse-girl

      Do you get paid more for graveyard shift?

      • KJP in Portland

        No, its been a backup-job because of the recession. Oregon is ALWAYS in a recession it seems. This will be back in my field; accounting, and in my industry; concrete construction…exact fit, and the company had me from first telephone call to references to interview in only the time I slept today. So, wow, all I need to do now is not bomb.

        • Eclipse-girl

          You will be fine. We all get nervous before stuff like this. Breath deeply, rehearse all the stuff in your mind and you will get this job.

          (((HUGS))) we are pulling for you and waiting to celebrate when you have the good news.

    • WildaBeast

      Good luck, KJP! I’d say that I’ll postulate a good outcome for you, but I’ll try and keep the snark to a minimum here since I really do hope you get a job that will let you sleep when your body says “Sleep”.

    • WhereIsSHE

      Here’s to you getting your desired return to a “normal” schedule with weekends off.
      My wishes don’t count for much in the “deity” world, since I am an atheist, but.. on a human level… I can feel your frustration with your current shift, and am wishing the best for you (which–ok– my “wishes” also have no real power in the scheme of things, other than to let you know that you are a lovely person who is cared about, even through the face of a laptop screen.)

      • KJP in Portland

        You’re lovely and kind. Glad to be associated with the finest SP’s on Earth!

    • Missionary Kid

      May the new job interview go well.

    • heuristically_inclined

      Good luck KJP! I hope you get days and then you can waste your work day here with us at the Bunker. Especially on days like tomorrow that promise to be hopping.

    • Robert Eckert

      I just gave you several knocks on wood for good luck on Friday. I know that quality job leads where you get to the interview are rare (MAN do I know they are rare!)

    • Good morning! Just got up here in France. So disappointed that we’re not getting some juice celeb news today, but I guess there might be one or two compensations along the way ๐Ÿ˜‰

      And good luck!

    • ThetaBara

      Rock it and own it, KJP!

    • aquaclara

      Good luck, KJP!!!

  • TonyOrtega

    OBNOXIOUS INTRUSION BY YOUR PROPRIETOR, GENERAL KLAXON, BUNKER ALARM, YO, LISTEN UP

    Had dinner tonight with one of our heroes. What a great experience. But hey, we know there’s been a lot of sturm und drang on the comments in the last couple of days, and we’re hep. We’d rather our great Bunkerite correspondents worked that out among themselves than us wading in and trying to regulate things.

    But here’s the thing. YOU ARE GOING TO NEED YOUR REST. Tomorrow morning, we have a date with destiny, and we need you in your best form. 7 am EST, Noon London, 4 am Pacific to start, but going for several hours, we need you in the trenches. So be ready. Prepare you minds. Recalibrate your e-meters. Run your ruds. This is a big one, compadres. And we’re feeling chingon.

    BE PREPARED. FAIR WARNING — Your Proprietor.

    • Eclipse-girl

      Yes sir. Damn I was going to weed the curb tomorrow as it finally rained.

    • Missionary Kid

      Roger. Wilco.

      I really like this group, because while occasionally feelings get hurt, people usually work things out in a somewhat civil manner. This is the best unregulated site I’ve ever been on.

      That being said, there are some troll eaters here that do not give any slack.

      • Eclipse-girl

        Me, too.

      • Douglas D. Douglas

        Them trolls is tasty.

        • WildaBeast

          They go well with popcorn.

    • Jo

      How we sleep now tony?

    • 3feetback-of-COS

      Klaxons, ruds, e-meters??? what is this, the MBN? (make-believe-navy)

      • Missionary Kid

        Chucklesnort. As a former Marine, I’ll be ready.

    • Sir Hemet TC Burlwood, VIII

      I just wet my pants.

      • Nevermore

        I’ll send nanny up with a clean pair for you!

    • media_lush

      coincidence?

      • TonyOrtega

        Oh brother.

        • TonyOrtega

          No, ML. Think legal matters, not celebrity doofuses. For once.

          • Sidney18511

            YOUR GOING TO TEXAS???

            • Robert Eckert

              He might need to be in several places at once. My spidey-sense tells me Mosey Rathbun’s case might not be the only thing set to blow up.

          • media_lush

            I couldn’t resist after seeing the two posts next each other like that….

          • Douglas D. Douglas

            Legal matters with the CoS? That could be ANYTHING these days!

        • KJP in Portland

          I’ll be standing UPWIND of the fan when the sh*t hits!

    • Aslansown

      I was going to sleep in a little. There goes that plan! Resetting alarm for 6:00 a.m.

    • WhereIsSHE

      I don’t know about the rest of you, but… Mmmmmmmm… yummmmmmmm… i luvvvvvvvvvvv an occasional “OBNOXIOIUS INTRUSION”;)~~~

      ***heads straight to bed with a bottle of OTC “DreamWater”***

      See you all tomorrow at 7am EST=)

    • Jo

      Going up the wooden hill now, aargh.

      • DamOTclese2

        Is there WiFi access on the Grassy Knoll?

    • EnthralledObserver

      When’s that for me? (Aussie)

      • EnthralledObserver

        Oh, never mind, I’ll do a google, you gave a reference time… it’s okay.

      • TonyOrtega

        9 pm Sydney time, Thursday evening

        • EnthralledObserver

          Yeah, thanks… I just found it and but you beat me posting. Cheers, Tony!

    • aurora50

      Tomorrow is Thursday: Rathbun Hearing Time!!!

      • aurora50

        On the other hand…so early for the US…hmmm

        • EnthralledObserver

          All day event… prob the Rathbun court thing.

          Oooh… but ‘hero’ throws me a little… which ‘hero’? Not Marty, but does Mosey fall into this category?

    • USA MRIID

      Gods, now I won’t be able to sleep tonight!

    • DamOTclese2

      I knew it. I KNEW IT! Tony is going to tell us all who really killed Kennedy! God damn it, Tony! Do you have Elvis hidden down here in The Bunker?

      I’m popping corn as fast as I can.

      • Free Minds, Free Hearts

        Did they ever find Jimmy Hoffa’s body? That might be some other news…

        • DamOTclese2

          Maybe Tony has Hoffa stuffed down in the Bunker somewhere. Maybe that’s who feeds the cat when Tony’s out on patrol.

    • Sir Hemet TC Burlwood, VIII

      Just wanted to make a quick observation before I try and get some rest before the big day (and the day I’ll probably get fired!), but of course Tony’ right, there really has been a lot of strum und drang here the past couple of days, I mean, it’s been wild and wooly, and the insults and curse words have been no holds barred and below the belt, but ya know, there is just something about almost everyone here that allows people to just blow it out, settle back down, and get back to the tragicomedy we’re watching unfold in real time. Anyway, this is a smart, tough crowd that can dish it out and take it, which is why, in point of contrast, I found the following comment from someone on rinder’s blog so precious:

      “‘Scilons’ Some of us consider that word to be a religious slur. Iโ€™d appreciate it if you didnโ€™t use it here.”

      And, last I checked, not a single response or follow-up comment.
      So in the spirit of the last couple of days, I say Goodnight, you lovely motherfuckers. I’ll be lurking as much as I can tomorrow!

      • Robert Eckert

        I want to thank you for your judo with Betty the other night. I started to engage, but I bet I would have just lost my cool and botched the encounter. You were skillful and amusing.

      • Nevermore

        In all honesty, big family gatherings with my lot always involve sturn, drang and loads of curse words, so I feel right at home!

    • DamOTclese2

      Oh! It just occurred to me what the exciting news is going to be! You’ve found out which one of The Bunkerites is actually the reincarnated Thetan of L. Ron! Amirite?

      Sweet Baby Jesus, I sure hope that it’s me!

      • Suppressive Tomato

        Oh please let it be me! I’m LRH. No, I’m LRH… (Read in your best Spartacus voice.)

        • DamOTclese2

          I’m pretty sure Scientology’s idiot ringleaders have already decided that their new rullah is Kyle from South Park.

    • Suppressive Tomato

      PAC base is always bummed about you EST’ers. 4am, really? And on a Thursday, when we have to worry about our stats?

    • Free Minds, Free Hearts

      OMG Tony, I can hardly wait. Oh it is for the stats? Your stats are great Tony, you don’t even need anything new on Thursday to raise them…

    • q-bird

      Thank you newspaper man – why, you are quite the guy noir tonight ~

      Takin’ care of business. Everyday. Taking care of business, workin’ overtime.

      giving us…

    • WildaBeast

      Sigh…1:26am EST when I find this…okay, I’ll try and get some sleep. Thanks for the heads up, Tony!

      • Douglas D. Douglas

        4am gets here just as quickly, and is much, much too early. Bad enough that we all woke to a nightmare 12 years ago today. Now we have to set our alarms for 4am. At least the bad news is for the Cult.

        • WildaBeast

          Thank Xenu I live in the Eastern Time zone. There’s still a hope in hell of me getting something like a full night’s sleep without missing too much of the fun tomorrow morning…

    • Jon Hendry

      Ugh, just read this. It’s late enough that I’m probably better off staying up, cause I’ll never get up in time.

    • Nevermore

      Oh dear, I was up until the small hours protesting against the dolphins being slaughtered n Japan. Better switch from tea to cocaine then!

      • WhereIsSHE

        Thank you for protesting the madness in Taiji. It’s too sad that it continues even after so many have witnessed the horror. Everyone should see the documentary, “The Cove”. Everyone.
        That, and “Blackfish”, and never patronize SeaWorld (the Scientology of “entertainment” parks).

        Love you for caring, Nevermore.

        • Nevermore

          If I can get us organised, my sis and I will be protesting outside the Japanese consulate in a nearby city at the weekend. Will do my best not to get arrested! ๐Ÿ˜€

  • media_lush

    I know this is bollocks but I’m sure it will cause Jabba enturbulation …. also it makes a delightful lulzy juxtaposition with one of her recent tweets

    http://www.classicalite.com/articles/2696/20130911/fired-rush-limbaugh-tom-hanks-scientologist-kirstie-alley-gay-falsely.htm

    • media_lush

      oops, wrong tweet…. this is the one I meant to post

      • Robert Eckert

        although the charmin-commercial tweet was quite puzzling as well

      • tetloj

        Maybe this is because she’s heard of Tony’s mega blockbuster announcements….

        nix: I see from below I am late again and that you have already put these 2 together.

    • Eclipse-girl

      IF Rush really did get fired, YEAH.

      KA is just mean and nasty to others, like Rush

      Tom seems to be a nice guy. His sexual orientation is not my business

      • Missionary Kid

        That’s just a bunch of headline writing so that people will react. It brings the number of clicks up because people will get upset and want to comment. Screw it.

        I’ll have to refresh to see what he posted with his second comment.

  • EnthralledObserver

    Ho hum… this time of day is always so slow here at the Bunker. Meh… housework is actually looking stimulating…

    • USA MRIID

      I laugh. ๐Ÿ™‚

    • TonyOrtega

      We need more Aussies, apparently. And early-risers in Europe.

      • EnthralledObserver

        I know… blurggh… I actually just did some washing and folding because I have no playmates.

        • heuristically_inclined

          It’s not the washing and folding that I mind, it’s the damn putting away that I hate.

          • EnthralledObserver

            Oh I hear you… that’s why I saved that part for the kids, who come home in about 25 mins. ๐Ÿ˜‰ I’m not THAT desperate for playmates… haha.

            • heuristically_inclined

              Ha! Smart mom. My daughter is 17 and just started college and I still find a way for her to put them clothes away. Well, at least until she moves out in January to go to college out of state

            • EnthralledObserver

              Where there is a will, there’s a way. ๐Ÿ˜‰

            • heuristically_inclined

              Oh there is a definite will. Do you think they rent out sea org people to SP’s?

            • EnthralledObserver

              lol… only one way to know for sure… I dare you to ring them… (to ensure it’s a sure thing, say you are TC staff – Davey Makemerich will approve it himself).

            • heuristically_inclined

              Hell, why call when I can just walk into the new Sacramento ideal org and ask. I’m sure I won’t have a problem finding staff to help me since it ALWAYS appears to be empty. ๐Ÿ™‚

            • EnthralledObserver

              Brilliant plan… don’t forget to report back when you have a slave or two in your possession, and we’ll work out a deal to ship one over to Australia for me… ๐Ÿ˜‰

            • heuristically_inclined

              I think I can really get behind this plan of ours, EO. I can go grab a couple of sea org people and split them between us and while they put away our laundry we can feed them decent food, let them sleep as long as they want and then have them come to the Bunker for a whole new kind of “tech” for them to learn. After they are deprogrammed we can start the cycle all over again with new sea org people. Whatta ya think?

            • EnthralledObserver

              Freeing slaves by using them for selfish purposes… now you are really on to something.

            • heuristically_inclined

              Altruism at it’s finest. Or we can just carry on from last night and say: we really are the shit!

            • tetloj

              Maybe they have an after school program that will teach our younguns to confront MEST EPF style!

      • tetloj

        Back home from work early to catch up on another crazy posting day before the new post is up.

      • Nevermore

        How early is early?? I already get up at 7am most days!

  • Artoo45

    Meatspace business issues intruded on what sounds like an enturbulated thread today. I understand that there has been a great deal of button pushing going on. Was it political? Like ultra teabagger stuff? I spend time over at The Hollywood Reporter when they post Scientology and there’s always this weird influx of super right-wing posters (almost caricatures) hating on “libs” and gays. It’s an obvious derail and I can only assume these outbursts are one of OSA’s usual ham-fisted attempts at derailing the threads about the cult. Is that what was happening here?

    And Tony, 4AM? Really? I’m moving my business to new offices tomorrow. Not fair.

    • TonyOrtega

      The real action comes later, when you’re getting up.

      • Artoo45

        Excellent, first our local mission closes, now this. Heh.

      • DamOTclese2

        I figure I can pop 4 ounces of popcorn every 20 minutes. I have 288 ounces of popcorn, figure worse case 1450 minutes to get it all popped and ready… Looks like I need 24 hours to get all 18 pounds popped. Drat!

        • EnthralledObserver

          Popcorn maths – now THIS is how they should teach kids maths. “popcorn-tech”

          • DamOTclese2

            I got to get my Popcorn Maths in before Thursday’s stats are due. Tony has a Bunker to run, after all.

      • DodoTheLaser

        Hopefully you are getting some sleep yourself!

    • DamOTclese2

      Today was just maybe 4Chan trolling, or there was an alignment of the planets or something, prompted I think from a family-based row on the previous day. Now I’m checking the clock and wondering how much popcorn I can get prepared before the 4AM all-hands-on-deck alert.

      • WildaBeast

        What’s happening at 4am? I might actually be awake then, for once.

        • DamOTclese2

          That’s just it, Tony needs everyone on line at 4 in the morning to find out what’s happening. ๐Ÿ™‚ I am *giddy* with antici… pation!

          • Douglas D. Douglas

            SAY IT FRANK!

            • DamOTclese2

              Come up to Tony’s lab and see what he’s got on the slab.

          • WildaBeast

            I sorted out what the hullabaloo was about maybe three minutes after I posted the question. Even if he doesn’t spring any surprises on us (and ‘dinner with one of our heroes’ sounds exciting), it’s Day 1 of the Rathbun hearings!
            Antici…..pation, indeed!

            • DamOTclese2

              Yeah but the Rathbun hearing is going to be fairly mundane, I expect, unless that dimwitted dwarf really did decide to show up and open his yip in front of the Judge. That could be epic seeing as how he’ll squeak about TR1.1 again, no doubt. ๐Ÿ™‚

          • mirele

            Go to bed, Fred…it’ll still be there at 6 am when you have to get up. That’s what I’m planning to do.

            • DamOTclese2

              ๐Ÿ™‚ Who can sleep when there are revelations pending?

  • Jo

    Housework is never stimulating, but we gotta to do it x

    • Artoo45

      Speaking of housework. My turn to do the dishes. And we had potstickers. Yikes.

      • Jo

        What’s potstickers?

        • Robert Eckert
          • Jo

            Still not sure what it is?

            • Robert Eckert

              Generically related to wonton, ravioli, kreplach, dumplings

            • Jo

              Ravioli is potstickers? Gonna retreat from the wine?

            • Robert Eckert

              Potstickers are more deep-fried greasy, or can be. There is sort of a continuum.

            • EnthralledObserver

              May I put out there that perhaps they are a meal that sticks to the pot that no-one wants to wash up, ’cause it’s hard to get off??? Could it be that simple?

            • Jo

              Hey Robert send us the recipe, will do my best to recreate it. Can do an international, come dine with me. Lol.

            • Douglas D. Douglas

              I just soak the pan overnight. That way I skip doing it NOW and not feel guilty, because I am, you know, soaking the pan.

            • EnthralledObserver

              That’s it… all you need to do is justify it to yourself. Davey Makemerich has this tech down pat too. ๐Ÿ˜‰

            • Jo

              Now I feel hungry.

            • Robert Eckert

              They are excellent eating. As Enthralled says, however, it is less excellent to be the person doing cleanup afterward.

          • Jo

            I thought u were joking, had to google it.

        • Artoo45

          Chinese pork dumplings. They get stir fried. The cleanup was . . . interesting.

  • Suppressive Tomato

    You guys, huge cog; L. Ron Flubbard (you get this if you know the jargon).

  • media_lush

    this just popped up on reddit

    • Douglas D. Douglas

      Why are two nice Mormon boys manning that Scientology table???

      • Suppressive Tomato

        But then there’s this…

        • DamOTclese2

          Shame we could not ask that asshole About This Slaughter at the hands of his cult leaders. “Lies! All liberal lies!”

          • Bury_The_Nuts

            Thanks for the link to this. I used to live very close to that place. I didn’t realize all of the new information that had been discovered.
            Thanks again.

        • media_lush

          remember, Battle Field Earth is his favourite book

    • EnthralledObserver

      This is great… I love this.

  • Satansthetan

    I know it’s not still 9/11 for most of you but I felt the need to share this that I came across on yahoo finance
    http://finance.yahoo.com/news/scientology-volunteer-ministers-disaster-response-221100651.html
    It’s a press release designed to look like news

    • Krew13

      Fucking disgusting. Evil, evil motherfuckers. Karma will get these sons of bitches, Miscmidget especially. History’s shown that tyrants and cult leaders all eventually come to a sticky end. Hitler in his bunker, Saddam in the gallows, Joseph Smith in an ignominious shootout in a jail cell, and, of course, fat fuck Hubbard, ending his days a diseased pill popping recluse on the run from the authorities. Miscmidget may think he’s fine and dandy now but his time will come eventually too.

      • Satansthetan

        amen

  • DodoTheLaser

    Looks like Tony is going to start some major typing in a few hours. Literally.

    Good thing he is used to it. Thanks Tony! Go Monique!

    • 0tessa

      Waiting for the Big One today! Noon in London? A bit later here then. Well, I’m ready.

      • tetloj

        3 hours….

    • Krew13

      Getting the popcorn and soda in for it!

  • DodoTheLaser

    Seems suitable.

  • Nevermore

    ‘Ser facs’ makes me laugh. There’s a saying here that something is a ‘sair fecht for a half loaf’, and it makes me think of that. Literally a sair fecht is a sore fight, but if you describe something as such, it means it’s a lot of hassle for little return. Quite a propos!

  • Krew13

    Hello all! Looking forward to the next juicy story from Tony today. More woes and trouble for the Choke of Scamatology!

    • elar aitch

      We can only hope. I was reading an OCMB thread today about a Nicole Kidman Vanity Fair article that posters hoped would blow things wide open. Things have escalated so much since then but they are stilll standing.

  • Jon Hendry

    Is it too late to hire a little person to make a dramatic entrance at court wearing pseudo-Naval duds?

  • 0tessa

    It looks the European Continent is all ready for take off …

    EDIT: just saw this is the 1500th comment. Do I get a bonus …?

    • Truthiwant

      You get a free sec-check!

      • EnthralledObserver

        Now come on, this church is not in the business of charity… oh, wait… er, nope, I was right the first time!

    • Where’s Shelly?

      A 10% off coupon for OT9.

  • Bury_The_Nuts

    Ok, BTN is wide awake and drooling with anticipation…..
    Or maybe she is drooling because she hasn’t had coffee yet!

    • EnthralledObserver

      An hour and a half to go, BTN… you could have slept longer if you wanted.

      • Bury_The_Nuts

        Actually I am on the road. Mr. Nuts is having a minor surgery today and we are on the way.
        Trusty IPad is charged!

        • EnthralledObserver

          Best of luck with Mr Nut’s surgery on his… er… oh sweet Xenu… please don’t let his surgery be on his nuts… ๐Ÿ˜ฎ

          • Bury_The_Nuts

            Carpal tunnel.
            His nuts are safe!

            • EnthralledObserver

              Whew…
              Well, best of luck with that, hope he recovers quickly.

            • Bury_The_Nuts

              Thank you.

    • Truthiwant

      But it’s 5.30 with you!
      Good morning anyway. Atleast it’s 11.30 here in Italy. Nice sunny September morning.

      • Andrew Robertson

        9:55 pm in Wellington and am feeling sleepy. (ET+16 hours) I know, I’ll open a bottle of wine, that should keep me awake.

        Andrew

        • Truthiwant

          The bells are chiming midday at this very moment!

          • 0tessa

            Here too!

            • EnthralledObserver

              8pm here – kiddies bedtime – I’m partying EARLY… and then I’ll celebrate 9pm too… :p

            • Truthiwant

              Which country, if you can say?

            • 0tessa

              Lets say Western Europe, above France?

          • Bury_The_Nuts

            How awesome. Sounds lovely!

            • Truthiwant

              just taken this pic from my house

            • Bury_The_Nuts

              Oh, that is beautiful. Great view.

            • EnthralledObserver

              Pretty…

            • aquaclara

              Lovely!!

  • Jeb Burton

    Cant wait. This is going to be fun.

    • Bury_The_Nuts

      Yes sir, I went and got two venti lattes for provisions!
      Lets do this!

      • Captain Howdy

        I’ve been up since 3:30 and I’m down to my last pink lemonade potato juicer.

        As Gary Gillmore said.. “LET”S DO IT”

        • Missionary Kid

          It’s 3:47 am here in Southern Calif.

          • Captain Howdy

            How’s the weather? It was a 100 degrees in Boston yesterday. It’s the end of the world!

            • Missionary Kid

              It’s going to be a pleasant 98 degrees (37C), but our humidity will be about 18%. When you sweat, it dries immediately.

              I’ve run a construction crew here in 123 degrees heat (50.5 C), and I’ll take that over 90 degrees and 100% humidity like you get in the Midwest or South any day of the week.

              I’m leaving for Portland, OR, this evening.

  • Jimmy Threetimes

    I just woke up. Who’s General Klaxon?

    • Bury_The_Nuts

      Lol, Tony is.
      Google Klaxon and it will make sense.

      • Jimmy Threetimes

        Googling takes the fun out of everything.

    • Jon Hendry

      Hopefully he’s coming with General Rejoicing.

  • elar aitch

    Nearly time

    • EnthralledObserver

      5 mins by my clock… I wonder if Tony will be on time today?

      • WhereIsSHE

        is my ipad lying to me?:( i have 6 minutes!
        EDIT: ok… now i have 5!

        • Sidney18511

          it’s lying

          • WhereIsSHE

            wth?!
            my ipad AND my cable box are BOTH lying??
            i have 6:56am on BOTH

            EDIT: and i am already exhausted, because I just tried explaining the Monique Rathbun case to my husband, Dr. WhereIsSHE
            EDIT: and now i have 6:59!! time to refresh!!!!

  • Michael Leonard Tilse

    YAWNNNNnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn. grumble.

    • 0tessa

      Good morning.

      • Michael Leonard Tilse

        …….s…..thanks, you too I think.

        • 0tessa

          Well, I just had lunch.

    • Bury_The_Nuts

      Hands you caffeine ….

      • Michael Leonard Tilse

        Thanks… Hey, that’s good!

  • Bury_The_Nuts

    If the teratogenic turd shows up….I am gonna faint!

    DM, not Tony!

  • Sidney18511

    6:56

    • 0tessa

      12.57

    • Ruby

      4:00AM

  • Sidney18511

    What da ya all think, Tony’s in Texas?

  • Sidney18511

    Ex-cit-ting

  • elar aitch

    7.02

    • EnthralledObserver

      He’s late.

  • Michael Leonard Tilse

    Its up

  • Well, clearly (no pun intended) CSI is simply practising the first amendment protected religious rite of “fair game.” As claimed in the appeal agains the Wollersheim judgement. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fair_Game_%28Scientology%29#Lawrence_Wollersheim.2C_1980

    Oh, wait, they paid Wollersheim a lot of thin dimes… Carry on

    It was one thing to sacrifice CSC to Wollersheim, is David “he is NOT insane!” Miscavige really going to sacrifice CSI to Monique Rathbun purely so he can get out of testifying under oath? Is the tax exemption going to hold up in the case?

  • Noni Mause

    Interesting tidbit about Australians, the sec fac’y bastards ๐Ÿ™‚ … Was dragged along to a lecture by Philip Zimbardo (the psychologist who helmed the infamous Stanford prison experiment) and he talked about cross cultural replications of the infamous Milgram experiment (the one set up to see whether people would follow orders given by authority figures, even when it meant dire harm to another). The usual compliance rate was around 60-70% (Americans, Swedes), or very high 80% (Japanese). Our good buddies the Aussies came in at 30%. They don’t particularly like to follow orders. They ARE sec fac’y bastards! I guess more than one must have told Hubbard he was a wanker.

    • Sydjazz

      A sec fac’y and proud of it. Btw this course makes me feel a bit ripped off. And 50 shades was a pathetic piece of writing