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HOW SCIENTOLOGY COERCED A CHILD TO HAVE AN ABORTION: THE LAURA DECRESCENZO FILES

HOW SCIENTOLOGY COERCED A CHILD TO HAVE AN ABORTION: THE LAURA DECRESCENZO FILES

—————- In anticipation of her biggest day in court yet, Laura DeCrescenzo and her attorneys hit the Church of Scientology with 928 pages of new filings —————- Details from 18,000 pages of evidence show how Scientology manipulated a child to keep her working under slave-like conditions —————- A key document describing DeCrescenzo’s unwillingness to have her coerced abortion is missing from the evidence Scientology was ordered to produce By Tony Ortega Wednesday afternoon, Laura DeCrescenzo filed explosive new information in her four-year legal odyssey against the Church of Scientology, submitting 928 pages of new declarations and exhibits in anticipation of a crucial October 23 hearing in her lawsuit against the church which alleges abuse, including allegations that she was forced to have an abortion at only 17 years of age. Key to the new filings is information gleaned from thousands of pages of previously secret files that the church fought mightily to keep under wraps. But on Monday, the U.

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PZ Myers Helps Us Plunder the Riches of L. Ron Hubbard’s Book of Scientology Evolution!

PZ_Myers_HOM

 
In 1952, L. Ron Hubbard published What to Audit, a slim volume he later renamed A History of Man, to help guide the participants of Scientology through their explorations into the vast stretches of time experienced by their immortal souls. It’s a remarkable piece of work with a bold agenda and page after page of startling discoveries. Inexplicably, Hubbard’s biographer, Russell Miller, called it “possibly the most absurd book ever written.”

Earlier, we read through the entire length of Hubbard’s 1950 masterpiece, Dianetics: The Modern Science of Mental Health with former Scientologist and author Vance Woodward. But because A History of Man describes the evolution of life on earth, we thought it would be helpful to read it with one of the Internet’s best-known scientists, University of Minnesota Morris professor of biology, PZ Myers. If you aren’t reading Paul’s daily musings at his science blog and his freethought blog, well, what’s wrong with you? Also, we want to thank Kate Bornstein for the lovely illustration of PZ gnawing on the 1960s cover of Hubbard’s remarkable book. So let’s dive in!

 
PZ_Myers2

 
THE BUNKER: Thanks for reading this book with us, Paul. We know it’s probably not the kind of thing you read every day. Take the first sentence in the book, for example…

PZ: You want to start with the first sentence? I want to start with the title: A History of Man: Antediluvian Technology. It’s remarkable. For a book purportedly about human evolution and history, there is almost no history presented anywhere in the book, and what little there is is without exception completely wrong. Dead wrong. Not one correct statement anywhere, in either fact or principle.

As for “antediluvian” — it’s a big fancy word chosen to sound intellectual, I suppose, but it means “before the great flood of the book of Genesis.” It describes a non-event and is only used by Biblical literalists, so he got that wrong too. The technology? Galvanometers are pretty crude and primitive.

 

Hubbard with an early model of e-meter

Hubbard with an early model of e-meter

 
THE BUNKER: You’re referring to the “electropsychometer” or “e-meter,” which Hubbard had recently introduced at the time this book was written in 1952. Before this, in his first book on the subject of the human mind, Dianetics, Hubbard had claimed that his discoveries would allow people to re-live their pasts, all the way back to what they had experienced in the womb. But after going bankrupt a year later, he had come back with a new movement he called “Scientology,” and adopted the e-meter, which as you say measures the galvanism of skin. Scientologists are convinced that it reads the “mass” of thoughts, and with it they can relive experiences of their “whole track” of existence, far, far back in the mists of time. Which brings us again to the first sentence of the book.

PZ: The first sentence is utter nonsense. “This is a cold-blooded and factual account of your last 76 trillion years.” Our lineage has only existed for 5-6 million years; the earth has only existed for 4.5 billion years; the universe is about 14 billion years old. If he’s referring to humanity, he’s overshot the mark by 7 orders of magnitude; if he means the entire history of the universe, he’s off by more than 3 orders of magnitude. It’s a rather wild miss to guess the universe is 5,000 times older than it actually is.

To put that in context, when creationists estimate that the world was created only 6,000 years ago, they’re also off by about 7 orders of magnitude. So Hubbard’s error is comparable to the creationist error, but in the opposite direction.

THE BUNKER: We’ve never heard it put that way, but now that you mention it, that’s an interesting way to characterize Scientology: As Wrong As Creationism, But In The Other Direction.

 

A few days after Hubbard died, his followers were shown this sheet of paper, with a very large number written on it: 24 followed by 345 additional digits. They were told this is how many years into the past Hubbard had eventually traveled along his "whole track" after a lifetime of research. This number can also be expressed this way: 24 billion trillion trillion trillion trillion trillion trillion trillion trillion trillion trillion trillion trillion trillion trillion trillion trillion trillion trillion trillion trillion trillion trillion trillion trillion trillion trillion trillion trillion years.

A few days after Hubbard died, his followers were shown this sheet of paper, with a very large number written on it: 24 followed by 345 additional digits. They were told this is how many years into the past Hubbard had eventually traveled along his “whole track” after a lifetime of research. This number can also be expressed this way:
24 billion trillion trillion trillion trillion trillion trillion trillion trillion trillion trillion trillion trillion trillion trillion trillion trillion trillion trillion trillion trillion trillion trillion trillion trillion trillion trillion trillion trillion years.

 
PZ: Much of the “technology” Hubbard discusses in the book is a mangling of biology. For instance, he claims to be able to cure “cellular injuries” by auditing — that “An auditor can follow a particular cell throughout its own generations within the body and, as part of the evolutionary line, discover many injuries to it…the migrations of a single cell throughout the body are very easy to track in this fashion and ordinarily check against standard suppositions in the field of physical biology.” As someone who has done some cell lineage tracing using injected markers and fluorescence imaging, I wish it were that easy.

And he claims to be able to manipulate cells!

“The pulp of a tooth, for instance, tracks back, cell by cell, to early engrams. When these are relieved, a ‘toothache’ in that tooth becomes almost impossible no matter how many ‘nerves’ are exposed, a matter which brings about a revolution in dentistry.”

Yeah, right. No pain even with exposed pulp and dangling nerves. This is a good thing?

THE BUNKER: Paul, you seem surprised at Hubbard’s claims of miraculous powers over matter, space, and time. You aren’t aware that he was a master mariner and strict disciplinarian?

PZ: Hubbard makes ridiculous and extravagant medical claims time and time again.

“This is useful knowledge. With it the blind again see, the lame walk, the ill recover, the insane become sane and the sane become saner.”

“Cancer has reportedly been eradicated by auditing out conception and mitosis.”

These are dangerous lies. Scientologists get sick and die, suffer from cancer, experience injuries — there is no magic treatment to make these problems go away.

THE BUNKER: Yes, this did get Hubbard into some trouble. After monitoring Scientology’s claims for several years, in 1964 the FDA raided the Washington DC church, confiscating more than a hundred e-meters and thousands of pages of documents. As a result, each e-meter from then on had to carry a disclaimer that it was “not medically or scientifically useful for the diagnosis, treatment, or prevention of any disease.” Harsh!

PZ: But back to his biological science. He doesn’t think much of evolution.

“…one should not think of evolution as a standard or precise theory. It is a sprawling and contradictory mass of poorly compiled data, taken from ancient swamps and tar pits, and there are many schools of evolution. These are taught un-uniformly in biology classes. Biology is based on ‘cytology,’ or the study of cells. Existing theory in cytology is quite contradictory to various tenets of evolution. In other words, the field is poorly integrated and badly understood and not overly gifted with data.”

Hubbard claims that Scientology will reconcile the contradictions and provide the answers. Unfortunately, he never gets around to actually explaining the Scientology theory of evolution or providing any data to support it. Reading between the lines, though, it’s quite clear that his model of evolution is the discredited theory of recapitulation, Haeckel’s idea that we go through all the previous stages of our evolution in our early development.

This is obvious when he babbles about using auditing to lead people back through past lives, and even back into non-human forms. He talks about a few — jellyfish and clams. He seems to be much taken with the clam stage of our evolution.

THE BUNKER: We were looking forward to you getting to the clams.

PZ: He writes this: “The CLAM is a deadly incident, but mostly when restimulating on purpose. Although this area of the track is called the Clam, it is improbable that the actual animal was a clam such as our razorbacks. Visios on this seem to indicate that it was a scalloped-lip, white-shelled creature. The Clam was, of course, quite thoroughly fixed to the rocks and the state is very static. The Clam had many troubles. The first of these troubles is the double-hinge problem. One hinge wishes to stay open, the other tries to close. Thus conflict occurs. Here we have two control centers, both of them more or less equal in power, having no internal communication.”

This is complete nonsense on many levels. We did not go through a “clam stage” in our evolution; the bivalves he is talking about are part of a highly derived lineage of molluscs. Our last common ancestor, roughly 600 million years ago, was a worm-like bilaterian…no shell. And Hubbard is very specific about the morphology of this clam ancestor.

 

A couple of views of the Urbilaterian, our common ancestor with the molluscs. Note the lack of hinges or shell.

A couple of views of the Urbilaterian, our common ancestor with the molluscs. Note the lack of hinges or shell. (Image source.)

 
THE BUNKER: Just to be clear, the reason he is writing about our ancestral clam is that he expects Scientologists to run into these memories of living as bivalves as they go back along their “whole track” of existence while being quizzed by an auditor who is operating the e-meter. So Hubbard is trying to be helpful, giving his followers some tips on how to react when they remember living as a mollusc on the shoals of some long-forgotten sea, and you’re giving him a hard time about the shape of a shell. Perfectionist. Next you’ll tell us you’re skeptical about his discovery that we not only lived as bivalves, but specifically as WEEPERS, or BOOHOOS, who got full of sand with each incoming wave, and this distressing memory persists in many of us while we are “belching, gasping, sobbing, choking, shuddering, trembling.” Now that’s science.

PZ: Wait, there’s more!

“The hinge epicenters later become the hinges of the human jaw. Should you desire to confirm this, describe to some uninitiated person the death of a clam without saying what you are describing. ‘Can you imagine a clam sitting on a beach, opening and closing its shell very rapidly?’ (Make a motion with your thumb and forefinger of a rapid opening and closing.) The victim may grip his jaws with his hand and feel quite upset. He may even have to have a few teeth pulled. At the very least, he will argue as to whether or not the shell stays open at the end or closed. And he will, with no hint of the death aspect of it, talk about the ‘poor clam’ and he will feel quite sad emotionally.”

I confess. I tried the experiment. I walked up to my wife, said those words while pinching away with my right hand, and she didn’t grip her jaws. She didn’t act upset. She looked…quizzical. Like I’d briefly lost my mind. She didn’t argue with me; she did, having some knowledge of clams that Hubbard apparently lacked, ask why the clam was sitting on a beach, since clams don’t normally sit on beaches.

She’s not having any problems with her teeth, either, but I’ll keep an eye on her over the next few days.

THE BUNKER: You deserve credit for turning the merely hypothetical into the experimental. But as Scientologists will tell you, Hubbard’s tech works 100 percent of the time, so if your experiment didn’t produce the results he predicted, then you were doing it wrong.

PZ: Hubbard’s knowledge of human evolution is laughable, too. He claims that there is a “Piltdown” stage — the book was written very shortly before the hoax was exposed, but even in 1952 paleontologists were uncomfortable with the specimen. Here’s his level of understanding:

Man’s first real Manhood is found in the PILTDOWN, a creature not an ape, yet not entirely a man. It is so named not because it is accurately the real Piltdown Man, but because it has some similarity.

The Piltdown contains freakish acts of strange “logic,” of demonstrating dangerousness on one’s fellows, of eating one’s wife and other somewhat illogical activities. The Piltdown teeth were enormous and he was quite careless as to who and what he bit and often very surprised at the resulting damage.

Obsessions about biting, efforts to hide the mouth and early familial troubles can be found in the Piltdown. It is a wonderful area in which to locate GE overt acts.

That’s simply ludicrous. Piltdown man was exposed as a hoax in 1953. Hubbard’s superior Clear mind was apparently unable to perceive the fictitious nature of the specimen…but then, anybody who could write the drivel above couldn’t have been very bright.

THE BUNKER: And yet, the Piltdown reference remains in editions of A History of Man today. Remember, Hubbard could see along the whole track. Perhaps he knows something about the Piltdown incident that you don’t — after all, he was very likely there.

 

Charles Dawson (left) and Arthur Smith-Woodward search for Piltdown fossils in 1913. Piltdown Man turned out to be a hoax made from parts of a modern human skull, the jaw of an orangutan, and the teeth of a chimpanzee.

Charles Dawson (left) and Arthur Smith-Woodward search for Piltdown fossils in 1913. Piltdown Man turned out to be a hoax made from parts of a modern human skull, the jaw of an orangutan, and the teeth of a chimpanzee.

 
PZ: He has some confused nonsense about the “genetic entity” which he uses to justify his notion of past lives. This doesn’t seem to have anything to do with genes or genetics at all: he presents it as a kind of dumb, unthinking device that controls basic autonomic functions and also records all physical experiences, which are transmitted through various lives. It seems to be the physical (?) medium by which prenatal events and experiences of previous lives get communicated to the individual. He backs this up with gobbledygook:

“The genetic entity apparently enters the protoplasm line some two days or a week prior to conception. There is some evidence [which he never gives --pzm] that the GE is actually double, one entering on the sperm side, one entering on the ovum side. If the matter were still important, some time could be spent determining this, for the GE answers dually in present time.”

It makes me wonder if he had any clue what “conception” meant. What is the protoplasm line? Sperm and egg haven’t met yet before conception, so where the heck is it?

THE BUNKER: Well, you’ve struck upon a very important point there which we also experienced time and again while reading Dianetics — Hubbard often speaks of “evidence” and “research” without ever actually revealing what that evidence or research consisted of.

But let us venture a theory about the Genetic Entity. As we mentioned earlier, Hubbard had started out with Dianetics, which was especially focused on re-living your time in the womb and discovering “prenatal engrams” — traumatic memories from your experiences as sperm, egg, or fetus. After Dianetics failed and Hubbard had started over with Scientology, it was a new ballgame, and his followers were focused on their experiences as “thetans” on a “whole track” of trillions of years of existence. When your body dies, you — as a bodiless thetan — just float over to the nearest maternity ward and jump into a newly born baby for your next lifetime. But wait, what happened to those prenatal engrams? Hubbard somehow had to account for them, so he came up with the idea that each of us has multiple unseen entities: the thetan, which is pure spirit and is immortal, and the genetic entity, which is more about keeping the body going and has come down the evolutionary track. Now see, doesn’t this all make much more sense?

PZ: Reading the whole book, I’m struck by just how ignorant Hubbard was of the state of science in the early 1950s, how little he said to actually justify his notions as scientific, and how wrong he was about everything. The impression given is of a poorly informed, relatively unread and uneducated individual, who is reflecting weakly understood material gleaned from casual reading of newspapers and popular magazines — he is spectacularly ignorant. Just in human paleontology, the Taung baby had been found in 1924, the Leakeys were busily working Olduvai Gorge (although their popular fame would be a few more years in the future), Homo erectus was known, Neandertals had been discovered in the 19th century…and the only specific hominin Hubbard can mention is Piltdown? Remarkable.

He even confirms where he gets his information.

“Just as ‘medical science’ has accepted prenatal experience (according to their best heralds, the popular magazines such as Coronet and Reader’s Digest), prenatals fade into the obscurity of curiousa in Dianetics.”

Uh, medical scientists don’t publish in the Reader’s Digest. It’s telling that L. Ron Hubbard considers that rag to be a credible source of scientific information.

THE BUNKER: Paul, later in the book Hubbard describes what specific “events” a person is likely to run into when they are auditing back in the far past. For example, about a million years ago, there is an incident on our whole tracks which was designed by the Fourth Invader Force. (The Fourth Invader Force has recently had troubles with the Fifth Invader Force — they are apparently ruling different parts of our solar system at the current time, according to one of Hubbard’s lectures.) The incident these alien pranksters put into us acts upon our nerves so that we fear arrest and are terrified of the court system. Fortunately, with Hubbard’s therapy, this incident can be removed, and he finds that it often relieves the subject of asthma, sinus trouble, and chronic chills.

We bet you weren’t aware that asthma patients are actually suffering from a control mechanism laid into our whole tracks a million years ago by the Fourth Invader Force. Why can’t modern medicine take advantage of this?

PZ: Maybe it’s because modern medicine specializes in Homo sapiens, rather than the Homo erectus and Homo antecessor who were running around a million years ago?

THE BUNKER: Spoilsport.

 
Our special thanks to Professor Myers for his patience in this project. If this is your first trip to the Underground Bunker, may we recommend some links to some of the highlights that have appeared here in the eleven months since this website breathed life?

– We broke the news of Leah Remini’s defection from the Church of Scientology, then wrote the most detailed description of her history in the church and reasons for leaving it, and then broke the news this week that she had filed a missing-person report on the wife of Scientology leader David Miscavige’s wife, Shelly.

– We blogged L. Ron Hubbard’s Masterpiece, Dianetics, from front cover to back with the help of author and former church member Vance Woodward. Start your adventure here with the first post!

On Tuesdays, we’re taking readers step by step through what it’s like to advance as a Scientologist on the “Bridge to Total Freedom.” We’re lucky to have the help of Claire Headley, who at one time oversaw the auditing of Tom Cruise!

– On Saturdays, we explore Scientology history with author Jon Atack, who’s helping us sift through the legends, myths, and contested facts about Scientology that tend to get hashed and rehashed in books, articles, and especially on the Internet.

We’re also watching numerous lawsuits making their way through the courts, and we also regularly get reports from overseas. So stick around for a while and find out what’s happening in real time as Scientology navigates the roughest seas it’s found itself in since like forever!

 
——————–

Shelly Miscavige and Leah Remini, circa 2005

Shelly Miscavige and Leah Remini, circa 2005

LAPD Closes Case Without Briefing Leah Remini

In case you missed the update to our story last night: Yesterday, we broke the news that Leah Remini had filed a missing-person report earlier this week with the Los Angeles Police Department regarding Scientology leader David Miscavige’s wife, Shelly Miscavige, who hasn’t been seen in public, or at any church events, in seven years.

LAPD Officer Gregory Baek told us that detectives had made contact with Shelly and now consider the case closed and classified as “unfounded.” But our sources tell us that Remini still has not been briefed by the LAPD about the results of her report. We asked Officer Baek — Would the LAPD begin telling the press and public that the case was closed without briefing the person who made the missing-person report?

“That depends on the situation and the case, and the detective will decide which will get first,” he told us. “I don’t know exactly what happened.”

So the public still has no confirmation on where Shelly Miscavige is, what condition she’s in, and why she hasn’t been seen at church events in the last seven years. And Leah Remini, as far as we know, has received no answers to her questions.

Does the LAPD understand that Remini is from Brooklyn?

 
——————–

Karen_Black2Karen Black Drops the Body

We want to wish a fond farewell to one of our favorite Scientologists, actress Karen Black, who slipped the surly bonds of her latest MEST body Wednesday at the age of 74.

We may have witnessed one of her last public appearances with the readers of this blog when we watched her take part in 2012′s Writers of the Future contest gala — we watched the live stream, and were happy to see her. In 2010, she had been diagnosed with cancer, and in March we told you that her husband was raising money so they could go to Europe for an experimental treatment. He wrote more recently that she was doing so poorly, they were unable to make that trip.

But let’s remember Karen for her art. She gave us a performance in Five Easy Pieces that got her nominated for a supporting actress Oscar. In the comments, let us know which of her films was your favorite.

 
——————–

JasonTerryCoverWe’re Big in Orlando

We want to thank the National Association of Black Journalists, who met last week in Orlando, Florida, for recognizing a story we did in December for Seattle Weekly about Jason Terry, who played for the Boston Celtics this past season. (He’s now coming to Brooklyn, and we’re pretty thrilled about it.)

Our story about Terry was named best sports story of the year for newspapers with less than 150,000 circulation by the NABJ, and we’re still grateful to Mike Seely, the Weekly‘s then editor, for asking us to head up to Boston to do that story. Terry’s from Seattle, and Seely asked us to learn about Terry’s journey from one of Washington’s best prep players, to his NCAA championship at the University of Arizona, to his NBA championship with the Dallas Mavericks, and his subsequent trip to Boston.

Along the way, we got to talk to people like Lute Olson and Slick Watts and Gary Payton, whom we interviewed on the phone from Karen de la Carriere’s house while we were there with a British TV crew. Random.

 
——————–

Posted by Tony Ortega on August 9, 2013 at 07:00

E-mail your tips and story ideas to tonyo94@gmail.com or follow us on Twitter. We post behind-the-scenes updates at our Facebook author page. Here at the Bunker we try to have a post up every morning at 7 AM Eastern (Noon GMT), and on some days we post an afternoon story at around 2 PM. After every new story we send out an alert to our e-mail list and our FB page.

If you’d like to help support The Underground Bunker, please e-mail our webmaster Scott Pilutik at BunkerFund@tonyortega.org

 

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  • John P.

    For once in my career commenting in this blog, I’m so paralyzed by awesomeness that words fail me. The awesomeness starts with the opening photo, with Dr. Myers shooped onto the cover of “A History of Man.” That is some killer entheta: PZ Myers shooped onto the cover by Kate Bornstein. Proof that entheta grows exponentially, not linearly!

    It’s reassuring but not surprising to learn from a real card-carrying scientist just how little science is in Hubbard’s sacred writings.

    The similarities between Hubbard’s view on evolution and Haeckel’s “recapitulation” theory is a great find — a nice, concise explanation of the crazy. Clearly, Hubbard was aiming to show that he was smarter than every biologist who ever lived by rejecting evolution. I’m surprised, given the totalitarian aspects of Scientology, that he didn’t instead emulate Lysenko.

    I think the most important line in the whole interview is this:

    I’m struck by just how ignorant Hubbard was of the state of science in the early 1950s, how little he said to actually justify his notions as scientific, and how wrong he was about everything.

    Exactly. What makes Hubbard so awful is not how bad his theories and “research” are by today’s standards, but how bad they were by the standards of science at the time they were written. And the revelation that Hubbard holds up Reader’s Digest as if it were Nature pretty much says it all. Hubbard should have managed a tire store in the town where he grew up in Nebraska, impressing all his customers with his knowledge of “science” but the damage would then have been confined to a few gullible rubes in a small town in the Great Plains.

    It is too bad that this interview is so short. It contains more snark per paragraph than anyone Tony’s ever interviewed. I’m already in withdrawal symptoms.

    • Marie Claire Wolf

      Clearly a casebook case of the Ignoramus leading the uneducated, which anyone with a basic college degree and solid common sense would spot right off the bat.

      • RMycroft

        And yet Hubbard managed to hook people with basic college degrees, and find cracks in their otherwise solid common sense. Sad.

        • Marie Claire Wolf

          Ah, but a college degree without good common sense can lead you into foolishness. Academia is not a warranty of sound mental health, or good judgment.

          • TheHoleDoesNotExist

            what she said!

        • Missionary Kid

          The Hubster appealed to the emotions, which are far stronger than the intellect. That’s how he hooked educated people and got them to suspend reason.

          • Marie Claire Wolf

            Well said.

            • Missionary Kid

              Thank you.

              Education, my dear friend
              Will make you oh, so content,
              But education, my dear friend,
              Doesn’t pay the rent.

          • RMycroft

            The problem with intelligence and addictions, is that smart people can come up with smart excuses for doing otherwise silly things.

            • Missionary Kid

              VERY WELL PUT!!! ^^^^^

            • Poison Ivy

              Ditto. As humans, our powers of rationalization are awesome.

        • tetloj

          he managed to hook engineers and physicists (at least initially in the 50s)

        • richelieu jr

          The thin with Hubbard is he combines the dry, pretentious style of a professor telling you what he is going to do at all times, with an absolutely incomprehensible style that immediately makes you think you must be missing something. Pretty much everyone has had moments of confusion before the fog,lifts,in school, and we know the way out is further in and through the problem… So we soldier on and then….! there is absolutely no follow up. The thesis is taken as proved and on we go, rarely pausing to revisit even the most extravagant claims’ “May be able to..” a,d, “has even be known to” becomes “as we know…” or “as we have seen…” etc….

          It also becomes more and more expensive to disagree, on so many levels…

          Anyways, Hubbard said to think for ourselves, right? I DO remember that,part! So that must be what we are doing, right?

          How much did you want again..?

    • FLUNK_101

      Wait a minute. Let’s not be so quick to judge.

      “[Hubbard's book] is without exception completely wrong. Dead wrong. Not one correct statement anywhere …”

      Whoa. (That’s entheta!)
      Phrenology may be discredited as a science, but still, Joseph Gall’s idea, that different parts of the brain do different things, was new, and it has held true.
      Haeckel believed that we recapitulate evolution in the womb. He thought human embryos have gills and fishlike tails. But when a woman gets pregnant, there’s no fish inside … yet, it is a widely accepted theory that life comes from the sea.
      Context is everything, especially when it comes to beliefs. Does spirituality have it’s roots in biology? When L Ron Hubbard went to China as a teenager, he saw some Bhuddist monks there, and Hubbard said they sounded like frogs.

      “Hubbard’s error is comparable to the creationist error, but in the opposite direction.”

      Sheesh! The laws of physics do not dictate the direction of time, they work equally well going backwards in time as going forward … and remember, Hubbard was the anti-christ, he was going against the flow. He was an iconoclast. As a Satanist, he believed in his own conscious will, and consciousness is, after all, the one phenomenon that we know of, according to which time needs to ‘flow’ at all!

    • baddog5623

      Fourth Invader Force? What the fuck happened to tthe first three?

      • Andrew Robertson

        Chris Owen, who disected Ron’s wartime exploits in ‘Ron the War Hero’ which can be read on Professor Touretzky’s web site also researched the various invaders of Earth from Hubbard’s lectures and books. There’ve been rather a lot of them:

        http://www.skeptictank.org/gen2/gen00081.htm

        [...]

        Another one’s the Cat People. God knows where the Cat People came
        from. Lord! Lord! Lord! These people are sure lost. Most of them
        are mad as hatters. And they have huge, huge, often
        slanted… they… they’ll take the GE and they will change the GE’s
        eyes to large and slanted; they’ll make the GE grow very thin. And
        the eyes will be big and quite often uh… uh… very feline. And
        they’re lost. They don’t know where they are. And they kinda look
        like cats. And they’ll talk to you about catbirds from some place
        or another.

        But what do we find in their case? We find out that cats are a
        ‘can’t destroy’. And then there are other people who are similar to
        that that; find cats that can’t destroy that aren’t part of the Cat
        People, because to be a good valid cat person one of the first
        requisites is to be strictly fruitcake and very thin. They’re
        really lost. I don’t know who got hold of the Cat People or where
        or brought them in to the track, but they spin as quick as you look
        at them. You’ve known some of them, I’m sure. They’re kind of:
        sweet and they’re kind of anxious to help, and they’re kind of
        starry-eyed and they’re not very forceful – they’re very weak …

        [...]

        Andrew

        • Poison Ivy

          “God knows where the Cat People came from.”

          Oh, I’ll hazard a guess, “Dr.” Ron. (It was a “Doctorate Course”, after all, right?)

          Fess up. Did you pop a few pinks and grays before going to see THIS MOVIE 1942?

          http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0ADPSaybusM

          I’ll admit, it was a pretty scary noir horror film. And Simone Signoret was haunting!

          • Captain Howdy

            Val Lewton / Jacques Tourneur classic

            The sequel “Curse of the Cat People’ is a magical little film.

            • richelieu jr

              Tourneur was a god and almost unknown- his real ‘masterpieces are: Night of the Demon, Out of the Past, I,walked with a Zombie (so very much better than the title) and the Leopard Man…..

              Checks them out, for the love of God…..

          • cbraslow

            Not to be a smart-ass, but it was Simone Simon.

            • Poison Ivy

              Oops – wrong iconic French movie star named Simone.

        • USA MRIID

          Hubbard was able to afford *all* the best dope. Fuck man, he must have had gallons of LSD.

          • Missionary Kid

            You need to do a lot more reading about him. He was a man of the 20s and 30s, not the 60s. Others more versed in his story can correct me.

        • cicely neville

          It’s not noon yet, already hot as blazes, and you’ve just scrambled my brain for the rest of the day.

          Add ‘Cats’ to the list of ‘Things lrh Knew Nothing About.’ ” sweet … anxious to help … very weak…” So catlike people are total dweebs? Tell that to the 20 pound Maine Coon on my chest.

        • lisacarolfremont

          Wait there’s more! hahaha … I’ll take cat people over reptilian humanoids anyday!

      • Once_Born

        The forth invader force was the only one worth mentioning because, “The incident these alien pranksters put into us acts upon our nerves so that we fear arrest and are terrified of the court system”.

        This explains why Scientologists have such disdain for wog law and wog courts, their superior tech has free them of conscience er… a debilitating implant.

        • Poison Ivy

          Clearly COB must be re-living a 4th Invader incident over and over right about now…

          • cicely neville

            Snicker!

      • USA MRIID

        ROFL! Why the fuck didnt’ Hubbard inform us about the first three? What was Hubbard hiding?! And how much do I have to pay before David Miscaviage writes a “newly discovered scientific document penned by Hubbard before his death” which explains it all?

    • Poison Ivy

      TOTALLY off topic; Apparently North Korea has something else in common with Scientology – it’s a pretty tough place for a stand-up comic:
      http://qz.com/113205/north-korea-is-the-worst-place-in-the-world-to-be-a-standup-comic/

      (*JohnP, I know you have a side interest in North Korea)

    • Poison Ivy

      That quote “how wrong he was about everything” is what made me stand up and cheer as well. It’s this that makes me keep scratching my head about how someone as smart and talented as Mike Rinder could still believe Hubbard was a “great man.” He was a fiction writer. Not a particularly good one. I’d give him a C- for style and a B- for imagination) and in fact, a very, very lazy one (almost never rewrote his work – believed it was perfect right out of the typewriter.) He did not “discover” anything, except a brilliant way to bilk innocent people out of their money and free will.

      • chuckbeattyexseaorg75to03

        I have never heard this one, “….spectacularly ignorant….” That’s a good new one! (Like, ignorance with flair and gusto!)

        This article today, are why there is NO “genius” in Hubbard.

        I wish PZ Myers could have discussed Hubbard with the late Martin Gardner.
        (And Tony for sure would have interviewed Gardner.)

      • MEME401SUN

        The clam business itself actually isn’t as self-evidently absurd as you’d think–there was for a long time a well-regarded theory (albeit now largely discredited) that vertebrates and tunicates derive from a tunicate-like common ancestor. Tunicates are sessile filter-feeders similar in some ways to bivalve molluscs, so It’s just barely conceivable that they could have had a hard-shelled ancestor that looked something like a clam, though there’s no fossil evidence for such a thing whatsoever.

        That still doesn’t save Hubbard though, as it’s well established that the jaw evolved from the forward gill arches of jawless fishes, so a vaguely analogous structure in some much earlier ancestral form couldn’t possibly have had anything to do with it.

    • OTVIIIisGrrr8!

      We in Church of Scientology scientifically demonstrated decades ago that the only people who attack Scientology are those people who have hidden crimes.

      Based upon this proven scientific law, we can now announce that Professor PZ Myers is a criminal. This is self-evident based upon his attack on the scriptural truths contained in A History of Man.

      Accordingly, we have had our Office of Special Affairs open a folder on this shady character known as Professor Myers. We will find his crimes and expose them through our hard-hitting journalistic organ Freedom Magazine.

      Moreover, we in Church of Scientology wish to make it clear Professor Myers’ wog approach to Science has only resulted in the creation of Psych drugs that enslave the masses.

      Because Professor Myer is committed to enslaving the masses by getting them addicted to Psych drugs, he has become one of the many enemies of Mankind.

      It is hoped that Professor Myer will come to his senses, recant his attacks on the Scientology religion, and come to his Ideal Org to get some special auditing to handle his case because he is, frankly, so keyed in by various diabolical implants that he cannot think straight.

      We are actually quite surprised that the man can even walk upright without dragging his knuckles.

  • DodoTheLaser

    L.Ron Hubbard introduced scientology’s humanity to the word – Antediluvian. So everything he said must be true.
    Nice try Tony and PZ Myers dude.

    Haha, haha!

    • Sunny Sands

      “Antediluvian” can be used as PZ describes. Another definition is “made, evolved, or developed a long time ago”. I’ve always enjoyed this word and seen it used in a poetic sense.

    • 1subgenius

      Visios did it for me (I admit I had to “word clear” it):

      Visio is Latin for “vision”, and in English often refers to the literary genre of dream vision:

      https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Visio

      A dream vision or visio is a literary device in which a dream or vision is recounted as having revealed knowledge or a truth not available to the dreamer or visionary in a normal waking state.

      https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dream_vision

      • ze moo

        Visio is currently flow chart making software. Microsoft bought it in the mid naughts…Television (the word) must have been trademarked, few if any s-f writers used the word ‘television’ in the 40′s and 50′s. Yeah, you can’t look all sciencey if you use regular words….

        • Missionary Kid

          Hugo (of Hugo Award fame) Gernsback described television in his s-f novel Ralph 124C41+, written in 1911. He called it the telephot.

    • 1subgenius

      “L.Ron Hubbard had me at Antediluvian.”

      Meh. Now if he used “antepenultimate” I would have been a Scientologist by now.

    • RMycroft

      Sounds like that Star Trek episode again.

      Elron at Antediluvian.
      HoM, when the septic tank overflowed.

    • sugarplumfairy

      And lost me at “…When somebody enrolls, consider he or she has joined up for the duration of the universe — never permit an “open-minded” approach… If they enrolled, they’re aboard, and if they’reaboard they’re here on the same terms as the rest of us — win or die in the attempt. Never let them be half minded about being Scientologists. … When Mrs. Pattycake comes to us to be taught, turn that wandering doubt in her eye into a fixed, dedicated glare. … The proper instruction attitude is, “We’d rather have you dead than incapable.”

  • Krew13

    Can I file a missing brain report for all the Sciloons who still haven’t woken up and are pouring their money into this giant scam?

    • USA MRIID

      ROFL! That is highly amusing but also a Google search finds that nobody has used that turn of phrase before in a web site anywhere. :) You’re the first.

      • Missionary Kid

        I’m adding Sciloons to the short list of $ceintologist nicknames I have. Thanks for pointing it out.

  • Couch_Incident

    Classic takedown by Prof. PZ Meyers, PhD of L. Ron Hubbard, high school graduate.

    Tip of the hat to Operation Clambake.

  • DodoTheLaser

    “Does the LAPD understand that Remini is from Brooklyn?”

    THEY FUCKING WILL. Watch.

  • Nevermore

    I have to say that this dissecting of El Loon’s ‘masterpiece’ has left me feeling extremely happy! More, please!!

  • Krew13

    A pity David Miscmidget won’t discard his vessel and fuck off to Target Two.

    • Missionary Kid

      Thanks for a new variation on DM’s nicknames. David Miscmidget

  • Yeppir

    I would like to have Dr. Myers Internet babies. PZ FTW.

    • TheHoleDoesNotExist

      I’d like to have his brain just from 7 – 8 am.

  • 1subgenius

    LAPD Officer Gregory Baek, greatest spokesperson ever, even beating out Karin Pouw:

    “I don’t know exactly what happened.”

    • DodoTheLaser

      Makes sense. Right?

      • 1subgenius

        He should have used my (copyrighted) line:
        “I have no comment, and you can quote me on that.”

    • Krew13

      The best police that money can buy.

      • 1subgenius

        On top of taxpayer dollars.

      • TheHoleDoesNotExist

        Now, be nice. How else are they going to afford the Super Power and OT Levels on a cop’s pay?

      • USA MRIID

        What’s amusing is that Baek expressed no knowledge of how the LAPD discovered that Shelley was still alive which means Officer Baek was not one of the guys who got an envelope full of cash to make the missing person report disappear.

        • Missionary Kid

          All that is required to close a missing persons case is to find the person and ascertain that they are not asking for help. The most reasonable conclusion is that officer Baek, who is probably a media spokesperson, wasn’t privy to the details, so he wasn’t going beyond what was reported to him. Watch the ABC Good Morning America clip.

          It is not illegal for someone to hide from public view, and it is done all the time. We, of course, are of the opinion that Shelly is squirreled away with minders to keep her thinking she’s pulled it in on herself.

          File a FOI request, and I’ll bet her location will be redacted from any report, especially because of the murder of the actress whose killer got her records from the DMV.

          All that being said, we need to keep up the drumbeat so that Shelly is produced. The ABC clip ens with a, “there’s more to this story,” which is what we really want.

          Shelly is really just a pawn to get DM upset so he keeps shooting PR footbullets, which he’s doing. He’s on the defensive.

          • GlibWog

            Yes Drum Beat!

    • Bradley Greenwood

      I really miss the faux-world of Jack Webb. I thought the LAPD were servants of God when I was a kid. Leah, however, just keeps waiting for “just the facts”.

      • Missionary Kid

        I have a friend that I grew up with and is now a long-retired LAPD officer. He maintains that Dragnet was one of the worst things that ever happened to the LAPD, because of the attitude it created among the officers and the public. It was not based on reality.

        • Poison Ivy

          Back then, in the early days of series television and the age of minimal cynicism, something like Dragnet would have been perceived by most of its audience to be incredibly accurate (especially with the “Names Have Been Changed To Protect The Innocent” disclaimer).

      • 1subgenius

        Dragnet is a hoot to watch today. Jack Webb was truly a “method” actor.
        His method? Extra starch in his shorts. Talk about stiff.
        My favorite part was the hammering of the “Mark VII” logo at the end.

        • Missionary Kid

          You know where that name came from, don’t you? He liked the Lincoln Continental Mark VII.

          • Gerard Plourde

            Great and fun as that would be the production company predates the car by a couple decades (1951). Interesting factoid – apparently Webb did the “sweaty hands” bit himself.

            • Missionary Kid

              Thanks for bringing me back to reality. I don’t know where I picked up that bit of false trivia. At the time, Continentals were only on Mark II. Perhaps I heard that it was a riff on the Mark + roman numeral. In any event, I can’t find any mention of where he came up with the name on the ‘net.

              I’d never checked out Webb’s bio, but I actually thought he’d been in the Marines. He wasn’t. He washed out of flight training in the Army Air Force, then got a hardship discharge because he was the sole support of his mother and grandmother. Because there was a shortage of announcers, he got hired as one, and hence his show business career started.

              I still think that Julie London, his first wife, was one of the all time beauties. They obviously stayed friends after the divorce, since he hired her and her husband, Bobby Troup, to star on Emergency. One bio I read said that he thanked Troup for raising his kids.

            • John P.

              Julie London singing “Fly Me to the Moon” still gets me weak in the knees every time I hear it (and it’s on the standard background CD on the sound system in the jet, so I hear it reasonably frequently). It beats the hell out of the Frank Sinatra version.

            • Missionary Kid

              Her first record was a hit, so, as I remember that she said in one interview, she thought, “Hey, this music business is easy.”

              What a sultry voice!!! The fact that she was married to Troup, who wrote one of the all time standards, Route 66, that’s been covered by a whole range of musicians, from jazz to rock and roll, is another source of wonder. He was, indeed, a lucky man.

            • Couch_Incident

              Strange that London and Troup ended up on “Emergency!”, her ex’s (Jack Webb’s) show. There’s got to be more to that story.

            • Missionary Kid

              There is. She was an actress before she was a singer. She and Jack stayed friends after the divorce and I assume he was a fan of Bobby Troup, since he was a collector of jazz recordings.

              Julie and Jack supposedly divorced because he was a workaholic, and he didn’t have time for marriage or kids. That’s why he thanked Bobby for raising their kids.

              Jack had a habit of casting actors in his productions that he was familiar with. For example took many of the radio actors who were on his original Dragnet radio show to TV, something that was not usually done in those days.

        • USA MRIID

          He also did insane right wing theofascist propaganda films for the United States military / industrial complex. He wasn’t always acting, Webb was an extremist Christian Republican loon who really did hate everything our country stands for.

          • Missionary Kid

            He was a man of his time. You’re adding layers anachronistically to what he did. Yes, he was a right winger, like many of the cops he admired, and his mindset was conservative, but he was not that unusual for his generation. He was raised in an Irish Catholic home, and went to St. John’s University.

            I’m assuming you’re well under 50, because I believe you had to be there to understand where he was coming from. Remember, this was at the time of the House Un-American Activities Committee, as well as very close to the Korean War. His attitude was not that unusual. He also smoked a lot, and appeared in ads for cigarettes.

            Why do you think that Dragnet and other shows are fun to watch? They’re out of date, and just as weird to us as now the public service documentaries that were made at the time on dating and how to be popular, etc. The amount of conformity in society as well as ALL of the TV shows of the time is mind boggling to people who grew up after the 60s.

            They Hays code was still in effect for much of his entertainment career, and he probably was pretty much in favor of it. He did piss off the NRA.

    • InTheNameOfXenu

      Shelly was properly drilled in case of such a circumstance word occur if authorities would inquire about her. She’s definitely alive, but in what condition? Whatever the detectives saw didn’t matter because the woman was alive and not missing. The question still lingers: Where has she been for six years and why hasn’t she been seen in public with her husband for all that time?

      In any case, this has rattled Miscavige’s cage. He must be fuming that the wog police knocked at his door and briefly interrupted his human-trafficking operation.

      • 1subgenius

        Funny, had a debate yesterday about whether she would “clam up.”

        • jonzot

          TONY! PLEASE KEEP THE SHELLY STORY ON THE FRONT BURNER!! The major outlets are starting to report on this, and everyone is looking to you! This story has created the biggest opening to expose the church since the TomKat divorce. Possibly bigger! PLEASE! Write daily updates! KEEP THE PRESSURE ON!!!

        • InTheNameOfXenu

          It was predictable. She knows too much like Heber and the rest. None of them will ever get out alive because they are prisoners of their belief. They are in hell.

          • USA MRIID

            Dude! You just claimed that Heber knows too much. Dude, Heber is an abject idiot, the clown thinks Prozac kills people. Er, I meant when Heber was living he was an abject idiot, now he’s just a rotting pile of bones in some landfill out in Hemet, I expect.

            • Robert Eckert

              He was alive fairly recently, when he was trotted out for Alexander’s funeral and then allowed a brief phone conversation with his brother.

            • richelieu jr

              Yes, but as we are told again and again, he was “well-liked”…

        • USA MRIID

          Ow! Ouch! Yer making my jaws hurt!

      • dmscohb

        Well, luckily in America we have something called the Freedom of Information Act in America where we can inquire the police about their conversations, records, locations, officer names, etc. If it happened in a police department in America (as opposed to countries like North Korea), then it’s ALL open to public viewing. And the courts will stand-by that one. Leah, next up, simply request this information. Moreover, there are Americans who think people should be allowed to move about freely and visit their friends at will!! This is just getting started.

        • InTheNameOfXenu

          You’re so very right. Just because the LAPD closed the investigation, it doesn’t mean that this serious issue is closed with concerned citizens and the media for that matter.

          As Miscavige continues applying KSW, to his detriment, the domino effect of Scientology’s downfalls moves on forward.

      • Poison Ivy

        DId they actually SEE her? Did DM get her in a car and drive her to the LAPD office? Or did they drive up to Big Bear?

        Come one, we need details.

        • ze moo

          The LA Times story only says they located and talked to Shelly. No other info. A lawyer working for CO$ probably called in and added Shelly to the conversation. No one had to drive anywhere and no premisses were searched during the ‘investigation’.

          http://www.latimes.com/local/lanow/la-me-ln-scientology-leaders-wife-found-lapd-closes-missing-persons-case-20130809,0,5801327.story

          • Poison Ivy

            Wow, Ze Moo. This is ridiculous. So the lawyer swears it’s Shelly. Cops believe it? Shelly is never seen. Cops don’t know if there is a gun to her head as she talks. (Of course, we Bunkerites know Scientology – they don’t need guns.) And they consider the “Case Closed”?

            I can only conclude that they ARE afraid of or bought off by CO$.

            That is NOT a missing persons investigation.

            • ze moo

              The story says nothing about how Shelly was found or identified. I have ‘supposed’ the lawyer/shelly/police conversation. And you are correct, nothing was proven or resolved. The LAPD punted when they should have been going for a quarterback sneak.

            • jonzot

              See, I imagine Davie has known for several years that the pressure to produce Shelly may reach a point where he’s forced to act. As a precaution, I imagine that he has been pampering her in recent years. Visiting often, expanding her privileges, showing her some love, and maybe even planting bogus stories in her mind intended to cement her dedication and loyalty to him.

              I’m guessing she’s been receiving some royal treatment rather than being threatened. Either way I think we all should demand that she be allowed to speak personally and privately with those on the outside who care for her. Nothing less.

          • GlibWog

            FBI

          • USA MRIID

            Whole. Lee. Fuck! The L. A. Times Online covered the missing person complaint. Amazing.

      • USA MRIID

        “She’s definitely alive”

        If ya can call that “living.”

    • baddog5623

      We might have lost Karen but we found Shelly, I think?

    • USA MRIID

      Oh! Oh! I know I know! Officer Baek, what happened was an envelope fulla money exchanged hands and suddenly the question of Shelley’s health and safety was answered.

  • TheHoleDoesNotExist

    PZ Meyers, you have a new fan. I believe you have just solved a problem for the Indies. Indies are those who have rejected the Corporeal version of scientology and are now selling the Uncorporeal version. Problem: The mere mention of “scientology” or “hubbard” tends to make potential customers recoil into womb position.

    The Hubbard can now be termed “The Reflector” and the scientologits Lite group can be termed “The Digestors”. I will reserve the right for the corporate scientologists to keep my term “The Pretenders.”

    • Missionary Kid

      Let’s just say that what comes out from “The Digestors” is the same as what comes out of the alimentary canal and from Source.

      • TheHoleDoesNotExist

        No, MK, No. That would be The Digesters. This is the hubbard Reader’s Digestors.

        • Missionary Kid

          Thanks for the correction and the first chuckle of the morning.

        • RMycroft

          All hungry predators know that readers digest and writers cramp.

          • Missionary Kid

            Not a bad pun. I like it.

            • Studious Judious

              I think this statement exceeds pun-dom. It is a true double entendre.

            • Missionary Kid

              I bow to your superior knowledge and accuracy.

            • Robert Eckert

              A double double entendre.

            • RMycroft

              It’s stolen from a long line of other people that stole it.

            • Missionary Kid

              Ah, an honest thief.

  • CoolHand

    Congrats, Tony! Thanks PZ for that thorough trashing of Hubbard’s nonsense. And [not so many] thanks to the LAPD for totally clearing up that thing about Shelly’s disappearance.

  • DodoTheLaser

    Dear Scientologists,

    If you ever read The History of Man and felt really fucking weird about it,
    yet stuck around – this is your second chance and a second opinion.

    We were lied to. The whole time.

    • TheHoleDoesNotExist

      Wondering if PZ knows the story Hubbard’s son told about the History of Drugs pertaining to History of Man? heh

      • 1subgenius

        The source of his “visios”.

        • TheHoleDoesNotExist

          Also the source of his “research”. heh

      • Poison Ivy

        Which drugs was he on then? I do get my Hubbardian Pharmaceutical Chronologies mixed up!

    • 0tessa

      … the whole track …

    • Missionary Kid

      I’m going to put your comment in my list of things said about $cientology as, “Dear Scientologists, you were lied to. The whole time.”

  • Sunny Sands

    Congrats on the acknowledgment of your sports story, Tony. You are a talented writer in many areas, not just scientology.

  • TheHoleDoesNotExist

    Was sorry to hear last night of Karen Black’s passing. My condolences to her family.

    Kate Bornstein the Betty Boop Shooper? Who knew?

    LAPD: Thank you for making the general public twist in the wind with anguish and rage and frustration. Why should the Bunkerettes be the only ones? Also, Brooklyn is Not a State of Mind and congratulations on tying scientology for worst reputation in Hollywood. Buckle Up. It’s going to be a bumpy ride.

  • i-Betty

    Couldn’t get past the first paragraph without commenting:

    “It’s a remarkable piece of work with a bold agenda and page after page of startling discoveries. Inexplicably, Hubbard’s biographer, Russell Miller, called it “possibly the most absurd book ever written.”

    Mwaaaahahahaha!

    Thanks for that. I badly needed a laugh from the boots this morning :D

    • USA MRIID

      Next I want to see “All About Radiation” :) Another classic Hubbard lunacy.

      • Robert Eckert

        Tony could ask Hawkings to review that one– but we don’t want to kill the guy.

  • Krew13

    For me it’s all about KFC. Extra crispy chicken.

    • RMycroft

      It’s not the same since they took out the MSG and most of the salt. Sure, it wasn’t healthy, but nothing was better for that occasional guilty rush of pure food sin.

      • Missionary Kid

        If you look up the actual research on MSG, you’ll find that the whole thing is pretty much BS. If you want to avoid MSG, don’t eat tomatoes, for one thing.

        • http://frankdisalleisadummy.wordpress.com/ Get Chutney Love

          Yes, some people are allergy to MSG, but outside of that, there isn’t any research to suggest that it is harmful to people who don’t share this sensitivity whatsoever. It’s used extensively by Asians around the world.

          • Missionary Kid

            The whole thing started when one doctor noted that people who had recently eaten at a Chinese restaurant seemed to have certain symptoms, and he wrote about it, calling it CRS, or Chinese Restaurant Syndrome. Someone, possibly him, suggested that the cause might be MSG. The suggestion went viral, and the rest is history.

      • Krew13

        Damn. In that case I’ll go for McD, McDonald’s. Will Ronald McDonald give me a half-ack if I buy lots of Big Macs?

        • Kim O’Brien

          if you buy a lot of big mack ..you will be acking your guts out ….that shit is poison ;)

      • Jon Hendry

        You can buy MSG, it’s marketed as “Accent” flavor enhancer. Sometimes you can find it near the salt and spices.

  • i-Betty

    It’s going to take me all day to read this article. I keep having to go back and re-read entire paragraphs to wring them of every last drop of wonder!

    The Bunker’s new strapline:

    “Scientology: As Wrong As Creationism, But In The Other Direction.”

    • Missionary Kid

      Scientology: As Wrong As Creationism, But In The Other Direction.

      • seataka

        If the Borg asimiliated the Ferengi you’d get $cientology.
        Rx for $cientology, Hang onto your wallet and run like hell.

        • TheHoleDoesNotExist

          Throw in Homer Simpson, and maybe one of those pod people, and it’s perfect.

          • Missionary Kid

            That sounds good, but could you do that so that I could include them to the list? Thanks.

        • Missionary Kid

          I believe that one of the reasons my oldest sister left Dianutty in the late 50s was the Rx.
          I’ve added both to the list. Ultimately, when you refresh, you’ll see it.

      • Studious Judious

        Scientology, It’s always worse than you think.

        • Missionary Kid

          Thanks. I should have included that chestnut.

          • Robert Eckert

            By now, it almost goes without saying.

      • Studious Judious

        Religion is free; Scientology is neither

        • Missionary Kid

          Excellent.

  • Krew13

    I was delighted when it was reported that Leah Remini had been told by a friend that he/she was glad she’d left the Sciloons because her being in it had been seen by others in town as a black spot against her. This news is a great relief because it means the vast majority of Hollywood regards the Sciloons with the scorn they deserve. It also means the Sciloons’ hope of recruiting more celebs is going to be dashed. There have been too many horror stories, too many departures for anyone to succumb to their bullshit anymore. Most of Hollywood are sensible enough to avoid them like the plague.

    And if Jerry Maguire’s next few movies perform as poorly domestically as his last few have done, he won’t be able to command the huge salaries he’s used to, and then either he’ll start to reconsider which is more important to him, his career or being in the COS, and the COS will begin to wonder if their poster boy can keep donating millions if his status has fallen.

  • BosonStark

    How do the LAPD even know the person they were talking to on the phone or in person, was Shelly?

    I haven’t read A HISTORY OF MAN. Hubbard’s writing makes me retch, even Battlefield Earth, let alone Dianutty and his other cuckoo. Listening to him lecture is even worse.

    • Missionary Kid

      {You must have too many engrams of past incidents. Send me money, and we can take care of your problem.}

    • TheHoleDoesNotExist

      “How do the LAPD even know the person they were talking to on the phone or in person, was Shelly?”

      Because her husband Said So!

      Nothing to see her, bud, move along.

    • Robert Eckert

      It is not at all clear that they talked on the phone or in person to anyone except Shelly’s lawyer. We are told (very indirectly) that there was some kind of contact (also very indirect?)

  • BananaSplits8

    “Just in human paleontology, the Taung baby had been found in 1924, the Leakeys were busily working Olduvai Gorge (although their popular fame would be a few more years in the future), Homo erectus was known,
    Neandertals had been discovered in the 19th century…and the only specific hominin Hubbard can mention is Piltdown? Remarkable.”

    Funny how Hubbard never figured out the incident that explains why pathological liars and con men drop subconscious clues that reveal their hoax. Hubbard did this regularly and brazenly. As I’ve mentioned before in another article, getting his followers to buy a bridge was the big one.

  • RMycroft

    If the Genetic Entity enters the sperm before conception, then what happens when there is no conception? And if it’s one Genetic Entity for each spermazoon, what happens to all the ones who didn’t win first prize?

    Frankly, what happens to those millions of unrequited Genetic Entities when there’s tissues and a centerfold involved? Should we call GE Busters?

    • USA MRIID

      And how do they cram all them Body Thetans in to such a small space?

    • LongNeckGoose

      It took me several tries re-reading this mess until I understood that the “Genetic Entity” is some kind of spirit, as is the the “thetan,” so that Hubbard is actually putting forth a “multiple soul” system. There’s the body, there’s the Earth souls from the genetic biomom and biodad, and there’s the alien soul (which I guess came packed in glycol on DC-8s, then the volcano, the soul-catchers, and yadda-yadda). It’s kind of like Occam’s Razor in reverse. As PKD wrote, mentally ill people don’t follow the principle of scientific parsimony, that the most simple explanation is probably true; instead, they shoot for the baroque.

      • RMycroft

        Hubbard glosses over lots of problems with his Thetan/Geneic Entity junk. The Thetan isn’t supposed to pick up the body until around birth. So it’s the Genetic Entity that’s picking up all those pre-birth engrams described in Dianetics. (Apparently the simple GE understands the local language.)

        Baroque doesn’t even begin to cover Hubbard’s Rube Goldberg whack-a-doodle notions.

  • Dean Blair

    After reading today’s post, I am anxiously awaiting next weeks review of “A History of Man” by PZ Myers. I read this book originally as a kid in about 1968. I felt the book was difficult to comprehend and concluded that I was simply not educated enough with only a high school education.

    • TonyOrtega

      The book is so short, we handled it in one go. There won’t be another chapter next week.

      • Marie Claire Wolf

        Thank you so much for shinning a bright light on every nook and cranny. I applaud you courage and guts, Sir you are a real mensch.

      • Mark

        Thank Heavens.

        • TheHoleDoesNotExist

          Thank Nibs and Bennie.

          • Mark

            And Charles Darwin.

      • InTheNameOfXenu

        There’s only so much Hubbard dribble I can take so thank you for making it short and sweet.

  • 1subgenius

    The LAPD characterization of the missing person report as “unfounded” is curious and troubling.
    If someone is missing, and reported missing, and then is located, does that mean the report was without foundation, or without basis?
    It is an attack on Leah’s credibility.

    • BananaSplits8

      I hope neither Leah and/or the media drop this despite the LAPD’s complacent response. People don’t disappear for 6 years without word to anyone unless they are avoiding capture, are held captive or have a mental illness; each circumstance requires their attention, possible referral to qualified professionals and are far from being “unfounded”.

    • 1subgenius

      I had a feeling that this would be a theme for things to come.
      Kirstie has tweeted about Leah’s credibility being shot.
      LAPD is CoS’s bitch.

  • Miss Cabbage

    My favorite Karen Black movie is “Come Back to the Five and Dime, Jimmy Dean, Jimmy Dean.”

    “It’s JOE!”
    “SURPRISE!”

    • Marie Claire Wolf

      I love that one too! Met her one briefly: a real gem of a woman.

  • Sherbet

    I don’t want to derail this long-awaited PZ Myers post. But even this treasure trove of classic lrh BS — and accompanying hilarity — can’t shake me out of my depression. First the NCC silliness and now the LAPD “Move along; there’s nothing to see here” response. Damn! Am I disappointed! (And I was not surprised to see the Deadly Down-voters spring into action in the wee hours of the East Coast morning.) Enjoy PZ. I’m going to sit out this dance and sulk.

    • Marie Claire Wolf

      Please cheer up darling! The play just started, all is in flux. Have faith that truth will out, too much has been said already for this to die out.

      • Sherbet

        Thanks for the pep talk, Marie. I needed it.

        • Marie Claire Wolf

          No prob! ;-)

    • Mark

      Don’t be downhearted, Sherb! The NCC nonsense was sheer desperation, and I bet Leah hasn’t finished reporting Shelly missing yet by a long chalk – there’s all those other jurisdictions she can go to – never mind the FBI.

      • Sherbet

        OK, Mark. Thanks. I’ll still be wandering around, but, for once, I’ll probably be quiet.

        • Mark

          Enjoy your cookie!

    • TheHoleDoesNotExist

      Here, have a cookie before you go, Sherb.

      http://i42.tinypic.com/zwbzpj.jpg

      • Sherbet

        Oh, gosh, that’s adorable, THDNE! MMmm, and tasty, too. And fat free! (I have quite an imagination.)

        • TheHoleDoesNotExist

          Sherb. There’s several high marks to this saga so far. Scientologists who are still lurking because of family are taking note that Leah Remini’s Entire Family left intact and that she is making news very publicly about Disconnection in scientology and now the public Knows. It may gave many new hope and courage.

          Second, every woman who is hearing this story about disconnection And the Shelly Miscavige Missing story is going to make sure they Don’t ever date a scientologist. And since Miscavige has forced Sea Org members to not have children, well, just think about this to its conclusion. It’s all good.

          • Once_Born

            Hmm… my family have been monks for three generations.

            • Missionary Kid

              Your father, too?

            • Once_Born

              Yes. I don’t exist.

              Quote: “Miscavige has forced Sea Org members to not have children, well,
              just think about this to its conclusion. It’s all good”.

    • i-Betty

      *hugs*

      I felt exactly the same when I woke up and read the update from the NYPD. Really deflated and low, after the excitement of the day. I promise you, though, Sherb – PZ’s analysis was so funny and so snarky that it’s lifted me right out of the doldrums. Maybe wait a couple of hours then give it a read-through. :)

      I’m ready to go again, now. BRING IT ON, YOU FREAKY FECKERS!

    • sugarplumfairy

      Hey.. It got lots of news if nothing else.. I heard from evvvverybody yesterday.. In fact, a coworker just said she saw a Leah Remini story on GMA this morning.. It’s another nail in the coffin, Sherb..

      Tick Tock, as Tory says..

    • Gabbyone

      I felt the same way when the dental board dropped the case against my scio-celeb dentist. Until recently I had no knowledge that he had given them photoshopped xrays that he had never given to me. I was literally in shock when they told me, so I don’t find this case closure any less shocking, but do find it disappointing to say the least. I will be curious to see if they offer any explanation for the closure–I got none.

      I loved the PZ piece. Educated humor really helps after disappointing news, so thanks for that!

      • i-Betty

        Grrr, I’m grinding my teeth on your behalf, Gabby.

        *furious face*

        xxx

        • Gabbyone

          That’s funny that you said that–the scio dentist tells everyone that the reason that they work is failing is because they are “grinders”, and he has them wear bite guards 24/7 to keep his dentures in place. I am not kidding.

    • John P.

      Don’t be downhearted. It’s way more painful than being downvoted.

      It’s important to remember that the overall direction of the cult is “straight down and plummeting.” That is a function of many things including actions that we as outside protesters take. The cult’s management, coming from the top down, is ludicrously incompetent, in a Keystone Kops sort of way. Many of the people still in the cult are recognizing things are very wrong, and increasing percentages of the membership are “sideliners” or “under the radar,” paying lip service to the cult out of fear of disconnection’s effect on their family or business. Public opinion is changing, and never in a positive direction, despite expensive ad campaigns and opening shiny new buildings. Defections are increasing, and the escape of people motivated to speak up continues to fuel the perception of this cult as evil and dangerous, especially when they are celebrities like Leah Remini or sympathetic media figures like the Headleys.

      That said, though ever more ineptly, the cult is fighting back. They’re not rolling over even though the tide is rising against them. We will not win every single battle; that’s as likely as flipping 100 coins and having every single one come up “heads.” The quick resolution of the Shelly Miscavige missing persons case is a battle that I’m far more comfortable losing than the Garcia IAS fraud case or the Narconon suits that are wending their way through the courts. For Leah to report Shelly missing was a brilliant move in the relatively minimal effort involved versus the potential gains over the short term (which, as I said yesterday, was most likely to be keeping Miscavige from trotting out Shelly at an upcoming event; I didn’t think a long “noisy” investigation was too likely).

      The forces arrayed against the cult have had a higher-than-normal percentage of good news breaking our way over the last two years — imagine what it would have been like to have been Paulette Cooper in 1971, writing one small book and then looking like she would lose everything, including her freedom, her sanity or even her life in the wake of the harassment that followed. Those were dark days indeed.

      It’s OK to feel sad for a while that a particular caper you though could have been really, really cool didn’t turn out as you had hoped. But after a little while, step back and recognize the groundswell of good news that provides the counterweight to a momentary disappointment, and get back in the game. The amicus briefs from the NCC and others were idiotic and are unlikely to sway the court. Leah’s missing person report will prolong the headlines of her story, and may yet ricochet around and deliver some unanticipated side benefits. Don’t go too far. We need you!

      • Missionary Kid

        I’m assuming that you’ve seen the Good Morning America clip. It ends with the investigation closed, but many more questions. http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/video/leah-remini-files-missing-persons-report-david-miscaviges-19913734

        Edit. In essence, that’s the desired result of asking “Where’s Shelly.” It still keeps DM on the hot seat.

      • CraftLass

        You make an excellent point about not being too down over the things that don’t directly work. The reaction of the cult is often far more damning than success in one effort (like getting real answers from filing a missing person’s report) might have been. Every time they try to refute something they come off sounding more and more toddlerish, which can not possibly be good for them. I’ve noticed that a lot of people who usually roll their eyes if I mention Scn are suddenly talking about it themselves, and that’s largely because they find the cult’s reactions to everything more than suspicious. It seems to reinforce whatever story preceded the cult’s rebuttal.

        Of course, that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t like to see some major successes, especially in the lawsuits you mention. Still, it is a comfort to remember that even the news that doesn’t go the way we want we can count on the cult to make itself look even worse in the long run.

      • Once_Born

        I have noted that the partial demise of Narconon has gone almost unremarked here , when it would once have been a very big headline indeed. OK, the ‘missing person’ story trumped it… but it’s as if we have all accepted that Narconon is on it’s last legs now, and moved on.

        Progress is being made, and in the real world progress is not “straight up and vertical”. It’s ‘two steps forward, one step back’.

      • Sherbet

        Thanks, JohnP. It gets tiring, even for people who don’t have a (cliche alert) dog in this fight. You are right, of course. There have been lots of black eyes for the alleged church lately, and I guess we’d might as well all stay along for the ride, or we’ll miss the celebration at the end.

  • Mark

    So L. Wrong Retard did his ‘research’ in Coronet magazine, did he? It figures.

    • Marie Claire Wolf

      And Readers Digest the fountain of wisdom for the plebes.

    • Gerard Plourde

      From the Wikipedia article on Coronet Magazine -

      “Each issue had a wide variety of articles and features, as well as a condensed book section. Poetry was featured, along with gift advice and star stories. The sister company Coronet Films was promoted in most issues as well. Articles on culture and the arts were mixed with adventure stories and social advice.

      “Coronet Films were also produced by David Smart and the Esquire company. Primarily thought of as school films, its titles included “Fun of Being Thoughtful” (1950), “Dating: Do’s and Don’ts” (1949), and “Where Does Our Meat Come From?” (1960).”

      So his second source was a Readers’ Digest also-ran that had sister company that made films that got a second life as short subjects on MST3K.

      • Mark

        Hee-hee-hee! I spotted one ‘Coronet’ cover with the strapline “How Raw Milk Can Kill You!”

        • Jon Hendry

          Well, it can. (Or the microorganisms in it can, anyway.) And people do die from contaminated unpasteurized milk.

          • Mark

            Yes, brucellosis. But provided the milk comes from a certified herd, you should be safe enough. (What really annoys me is the almost complete unavailability of non-homogenised milk here in the UK!)

            • CraftLass

              Ugh, with you Mark, it took me years to find a small farm in the US that produces non-homogenized milk, and all the efforts were totally worth it. Yum! Try looking directly into small dairy farms, that’s what finally worked for me. Good luck!

              Did you know there’s a black market for raw milk and raw milk cheese in the US now? Prohibition of anything really does not work. *chuckle*

            • Missionary Kid

              Homogenized only means that the milk has been mixed so thoroughly that the milk-fat doesn’t separate out. I think you mean pasteurized, which involves rapid heating and cooling of the milk to kill organisms.

            • Robert Eckert

              Correct. It is very hard to find non-pasteurized milk– and it is also very hard nowadays to find true homogenized milk. Almost all the milk nowadays is very weak, with most of the cream simply removed.

            • Missionary Kid

              For adults, the butterfat isn’t necessary. As a matter of fact, it’s unhealthy, especially in the amount that I consume.

              When I was a kid, I used to spend summers on my uncle’s farm, where the cows were milked twice a day, and the milk was run through a separator and the cream sold. I learned to dislike skim milk from the experience.

            • Robert Eckert

              I am one of those who tends to serious underweight rather than overweight, and I would like at least to have the option of drinking whole milk, which I just can’t find anymore.

            • Missionary Kid

              For your heart, you’d probably do better to consume something different than butterfat, if you have high levels of “bad” cholesterol.

            • ze moo

              Ice cream and yogurt are the new milkfat market. The fat removed from all that 2% milk at the store has to go somewhere.

            • CraftLass

              Heck, finding full-fat yogurt is not that simple. I use it a lot in baking and always have to go through piles of the low-fat variety to find the few full-fat containers. lol I get why, and most people do need to reduce fat intake, but in baking, fat is the key.

            • CraftLass

              Nope, I meant homogenized. I use the same bottle for cream, milk, and thinned-out milk. It keeps me from having to buy cream when I only need a tiny amount and you can choose your own fat ratio depending on usage. . :-) It also makes for much better milk, since, as Robert pointed out, even whole milk is not so creamy these days, at least in the US.

              The raw milk part of my comment was just a separate observation. It’s a big black market business around here.

            • Missionary Kid

              The problem is that to have different types of milk available for a mass market gets very expensive. Supermarkets are into mass marketing, and people are in to low cost.

              For over 40 years, the pediatric physicians in the U.S. have been ready to recommend against giving cows milk to children, because of proteins that are included that trigger allergies.

              Apparently goats milk doesn’t trigger the allergies that cows milk does.

            • CraftLass

              Yup, that’s why I try to get my milk from small dairies when I can. Supports communities that really need it and you can find a much vaster selection than in mainstream supermarkets. :-)

              Absolutely true about cows milk vs. goats milk. My friend’s daughter was made really ill by cows milk, which lead to me reading a lot on the topic. Shame that goats milk is not so widely available.

            • Missionary Kid

              Where I am, in Southern California, it is, but you’ve got to go to a specialty store.

            • CraftLass

              Yeah, same here, but you can get anything in the NYC metro area pretty easily, much like Southern California. :-) A bit tougher in places where health food stores and the like are not in such abundance.

            • ze moo

              Coops that have a niche market are the only thing keeping the smaller dairy farms going. All else are factory farms with thousands of cows and real factory methods of making milk. From lagoons of cow manure to crowding of cows and the increased transmission of cow diseases, factory farms can be trouble.

            • Robert Eckert

              A friend of mine that once lived near Coalinga, California used to refer to it as “Cowschwitz”

            • CraftLass

              Yeah, and there is the other reason I prefer local small-dairy products. The conditions at factory farms are very scary, we’ve created excellent environments for all sorts of problems to develop and spread. Evolution (on a bacterial scale) in action (to bring this discussion back around to the theme of today’s post lol)!

            • Poison Ivy

              Interesting. I was one of those kids who HATED milk from the get go and it was forced on me (my Dad drank about a gallon a day ). I had (have) myriad stupid allergies.

            • Missionary Kid

              Have the allergies become reduced now that you’re not drinking milk? If they are, it may be because you don’t.

              I know of one doctor who got very wealthy on food allergies. All he did was have his patients eat one thing for several days, then add one food at a time and monitor the results. Simple, huh?

              There are, unfortunately, ingredients in many prepared foods that you don’t realize unless you read the labels.

              One of my particular hot buttons is the supposed danger of MSG. If you’re allergic to it, don’t eat tomatoes. Only a few people really are allergic. Now, the big bugaboo is gluten. I think there’s a lot of placebo effect in the people who do better supposedly gluten-free. I believe it’s mostly because people are paying better attention to their diet.

              I’m allergic to oats. I discovered it when I was shoveling oats in a bin. I ended up very close to anaphylactic shock, and could barely breathe with an asthma attack. (The only one I’ve ever had). I knew what the cause was, so I decontaminated myself.

              It was about 2 hours before I was breathing normally.

              What did my mother give me for breakfast every morning when I was growing up? A big bowl of oatmeal, and I had to carry a handkerchief with me until I left for college because my nose ran. I thought I’d outgrown whatever allergy. Boy, was I wrong.

            • ze moo

              Pasteurization does not kill all bacteria. Look up Johnes disease and crohns. The UK has been the best source of johnes/crohns links research. India (holy cow) doesn’t seem to have a crohns problem, they boil their milk before they consume it. Pasteurization is not boiling.

              http://www.johnes.org/general/faqs.html

              http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crohn%27s_disease

            • Missionary Kid

              I purposely didn’t say “all” bacteria. I could have been more definitive.

            • Mark

              There are some independent dairies in the UK that produce nothing but non-homogenised milk – trouble is, they’re all in the depths of the countryside, only deliver locally, and I’m in London. When we still had milkmen here, the Co-Op dairy did do ‘non-hom’ in silver-topped bottles, but now milk almost all comes from supermarkets – even the gold-topped Jersey milk is homogenised now, dammit.

              Apart from all the recipes that call for some “top of the milk” that I can’t use now, I used to find that non-homogenised kept better – the cream doubtless provided a protective layer.

              Some fool in our government once tried to ban raw ‘certified’ brucellosis-free milk in the UK, until the cheese-makers pointed out that would destroy their business – no more Stilton, for a start…

            • CraftLass

              There aren’t any farmer’s markets that get dairies like that? That’s one of the ways I’ve found it here (NYC area). Luckily, we also have a grocery delivery company that specializes in local slow food that sells the milk from a dairy I love. Ugh, I’m so sorry it’s been impossible to find there. Shocking, though, that it wouldn’t make it to London somehow, with the burgeoning food snobbery there. ;-)

              I’ve had the same experience with it keeping better, too. :-)

              A world without Stilton would be a very, very dark place.

            • Mark

              All the farmer’s markets in London are horrendously expensive – especially the most famous, Borough Market, which has degenerated into a pretentious tourist trap selling mostly over-priced fast-food. Bah!

            • stanrogers

              I picture Gareth Blackstock on a hunt for unpasteurised Stilton…

            • Mark

              I regularly imagine Heston Blumenthal with a bad case of ptomaine poisoning…

      • Poison Ivy

        Coronet Films actually went on to become a successful & respected educational film distributor in the ’70′s and 80 ‘s

  • TheHoleDoesNotExist

    I have just one question for Mr. Myers: Have you Ever come across anything this strange?

    • Missionary Kid

      Listen to late night talk radio, and you’ll hear a lot of strange.

    • Robert Eckert

      He dedicates himself to plowing through all the literature put out by the creationists (excuse me, I mean “intelligent design proponents”).

      • BananaSplits8

        This Richard Dawkins interview with Wendy Wright is a classic example of what M. Myers is up against. Youtube commenters challenge each other to see who makes it farthest (It’s one hour six minutes long). I could only make it to 16 minutes.

        http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-AS6rQtiEh8

        For those who have no patience, this pic sums it up perfectly

        • BananaSplits8

          Crap! Wrong pic. Second try:

          • Missionary Kid

            There are none so blind as those who will not see. Her reasoning is all about complaints. Dawkins is far more polite than I would ever be to her whininess.

          • Missionary Kid

            She is advocating that the fact that a “controversy” exists about evolution should be taught, when there isn’t a controversy in the scientific community.

            The only way I’m able to make it further in the video is by letting it play in the background. So far, I’ve made it to 25:00. She’s a broken record.

            I get it. Her reasoning is based on faith. Science doesn’t deal in faith, but in evidence. It really makes no comment on faith. If you draw a Venn diagram of the two, they do not connect.

            • BananaSplits8

              I love how she keeps repeating that science attempts to fool the masses by presenting illustrations as evidence (which is false)… not unlike Kentucky’s Creation Museum, right?

            • Missionary Kid

              Just two of every species of insects, let along the food necessary for them would easily fill Noah’s ark. Try to figure the size necessary for two of each species of vertibrates.

            • BananaSplits8

              I stopped trying to imagine that malarkey when getting kids to peacefully line up two-by-two in a schoolyard is already an impossible feat.

            • Missionary Kid

              I laughed at loud at that one. Good point.

  • Once_Born

    Perhaps the idea of Pluralistic Ignorance also explains why “The History of Man” is still published. When it is introduced to Scientologists in {training} they try to read it, can’t make head nor tail of it and give up. Nobody admits this, though, because they are surround by people who chat knowingly about how clever and insightful it is – without having read it either.

    It’s hard to go against the crowd, and point out that emperor has no clothes – especially when you are a Scientologist, and know that you will be in up to your eyeballs if you do.

    • Marie Claire Wolf

      The herd mentality…

    • TheHoleDoesNotExist

      It’s because if you Don’t claim to have had a brilliant “cognition” and are now happy as a clam (“win”), then you will be routed to Ethics to find out if you are connected to a Suppressive person, like a scientist, and then routed to Qual, to find out if you have a word you don’t understand, like “clam” or “Piltdown” and then you will be routed to the Used Brain Salesman (the “registrar” or reg) to find out if your recent departed granny left you a trust fund which amount will be exactly the amount you need for ethics and retraining And the newest version of History of Man which was just published without the scientific semicolons. Because Scientists are evil, but not as evil as Psychiatrists. It all makes sense now, doesn’t it?

      • Missionary Kid

        Your clarity is so brilliant, to borrow a phrase, I’ve gotta wear shades.

        • TheHoleDoesNotExist

          Clams don’t wear shades, silly! Here’s scientific evidence…

          http://youtu.be/i62YdabvAHo

          • Missionary Kid

            So, if they run in and out of the water, is that a clam dip?

            • i-Betty

              Hur hur :P

            • Missionary Kid

              Milady, does that mean you’re throwing up, or laughing? Either is appropriate to my comment.

            • i-Betty

              Chuckling evilly, milord :D

      • Once_Born

        I would be fascinated to know if the new edition of “The History of Man” still includes the passages about Piltdown Man (‘Pilt’ to his friends).

        You would think they would delete all references to him. On the other hand, it is such a very short book, and deleting poor old Pilt would leave a gap. Also, you just can’t edit Hubbard’s holy writ… can you?

        • http://twitter.com/Scientology_411 Scientology_411

          You got me curious and I dug it out to take a look. It’s still in there written exactly as in Tony’s article. They even list it in the index!

      • Studious Judious

        I wonder what a Scientologist thinks when they try to word-clear Piltdown Man and find it was a hoax. Anybody have an data on this?

        • Once_Born

          I don’t know – but perhaps they use a Scientology dictionary.

  • Rachel Heidi

    My 1980s copy of A History of Man contains a footnote: Piltdown Man was revealed as a hoax in _______ (can’t remember the year). There’s NO explanation for why Hubbard wrote text on the hoax, nor had they removed the incriminating text (which reveals he’s full of sh*t as he thought it was real).

    • BananaSplits8

      I’m surprised they didn’t come up with “Hubbard wasn’t referring to that Piltdown man.”

      • BosonStark

        Hubbard had an MU on the Piltdown man but he’s handled it while at the implant station on Mars.

      • USA MRIID

        ROF!!! Yeah, Hubbard was talking about his father. Duh!

    • 1subgenius

      Most interesting. Can you post a pic?

      • Rachel Heidi

        In a few more hours when I actually get out of bed!

        • 1subgenius

          Cool. That should be hilarious.
          They should have added a footnote to the entire book.
          “Hubbard was revealed to be a hoax in ______.”
          Now that I think of it they should go back and add foonotes incorporating all of PZ’s observations.
          That would be epic.

          • i-Betty

            Hahahahaha!

          • Missionary Kid

            ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

          • Poison Ivy

            ^^^^ Subgenius now promoted to GENIUS for that!!!!!^^^^

            • Robert Eckert

              Thank Bob!

            • 1subgenius

              If nominated I will not run. If elected I will not serve.

      • i-Betty

        Yes please, Rachel! x

      • Rachel Heidi

        Here’s a photo I just took with my ipad.

        • 1subgenius

          Thanks. Its mind-boggling actually. They apparently don’t see the repercussions of admitting Hubbard relied on a hoax. Or ask themselves if Hubbard was so wrong about that, what else is he wrong about.
          I like to say that if you have a belief system, which cannot be proven, at least have one that can’t be easily disproved. (Contrasting Judaism, Christianity, etc., with Mormonism, Scientology, etc.)
          Tony and/or PZ would seemingly be interested in this development.

          • Rachel Heidi

            If you read the text it says “This isn’t about Piltdown Man, it’s about something else very similar that really existed. Isn’t this squirreling the tech?

          • Poison Ivy

            “or ask themselves what else he was wrong about.”

            Exactly. I once got to know an incredibly convincing (and successful) “psychic”. A guy who could talk to the dead, he said. Was paid a lot to do it. Then I observed that in nearly every aspect of his business life, he lied. BIG lies. Logically, though I am a fairly open-minded person who enjoys magical thinking, I deduced that if J lied about everything in his daily life, what were the odds that the only thing he would be telling the truth about was cozy relationship with the denizens of the hereafter?

            This is what baffles me about the indies.

        • Once_Born

          So the first paragraph claims that, ‘there really was a Piltdown species, which I going to discuss. The Piltdown skull was a fake, which just happened to be very similar to the real thing. The fake was misleadingly named for the real species’.

          Sounds like this paragraph was modified to save Hubbard a rewrite. Either pre-1980 editions were different, or Hubbard was warned there was something questionable about Pilt, and hedged his bets when he wrote the book.

    • ze moo

      Piltdown Man was proclaimed a hoax in 1953. Lrooon had a lot of time to fix his ‘typo’, but never did.

      • RMycroft

        He’d probably drank all the WhiteOut and CorFlu.

      • Poison Ivy

        As mentioned above, LRH wasn’t much for doing rewrites or second drafts – of ANYTHING.

        • ze moo

          Lrooon never admitted his emperors clothes were invisible. Any one who noticed was either driven away or they ran away. Con artists can’t waste time on those who can’t be conned. Arrogance is only one of Lroons faults…

          • Poison Ivy

            “Con artists can’t waste time on those who can’t be conned.” Well, not necessarily. Sociopathic con artists ( yes I DO believe that describes Ron, Mike and Marty) carefully try and eviscerate (dead agent) those who are on to tthem. Hence Fair Game, disconnection, and everything else OSA does to exes. To a true sociopath, those who dare speak the truth are enemies who must be destroyed. The truth to them is like a garlic crucifix to a Vampire.

            • GlibWog

              Speaking of which.. Hey Indies where are you today? Your Man is gettin Dissed. Ya Got Nothin? LRH Gettin Read

          • Once_Born

            After you have driven away everyone who noticed that the emperor has no clothes, you are left with a self-selected group of ‘true believers’, who are easier to manage – this group acts as its own ‘thought police’.

            Pre-internet, the general public were largely unaware of what was going on. Hubbard could always attract enough new members to make up for leavers, and this tactic worked for years.

            With the advent of the Internet, however, there may now be more ex-Scientologists than members. The exes have the Internet (not to mention Anonymous) on their side, and can spread the word. It’s getting more difficult to recruit in the face of all the bad publicity, and CofS membership is crashing.

    • http://twitter.com/Scientology_411 Scientology_411

      That’s very interesting! There’s nothing to that effect in the new edition. Perhaps they’ll add it back in when they do the post-Miscavige revisions for the “Basic Basics” (we swear we got this shit right this time) editions.

    • Poison Ivy

      How did you react when you read it? Just curious.

      • Rachel Heidi

        I’m not an ex, just a long time critic. I found it hilarious. Nearly as funny as Dianetics, which I’ve actually read from cover to cover as well. Ron’s writing cracks me up nearly as much as his book covers!

        • Robert Eckert

          Check out

          http://battlefieldspork.blogspot.com/

          and

          http://missionspork.blogspot.com/ (in progress)

          He digests the drivel so you don’t have to slog through every page yourself.

        • Poison Ivy

          You are made of tougher stuff than I, Rachel!

          • Rachel Heidi

            His “tech” is more entertaining than his official fiction ever was! I’ve assembled a little collection.

  • Bella Legosi

    Excellent post today!!!!!

    News of Shelly’s disappearance hit talk radio here in Portland yesterday. My father asked me about some of it out of the blue when I got home last night. He told me it was all over talk radio and was surprised it has taken 6 years for the police to get involved. Also, DM’s mother’s “suicide” was also included in some reports.

    Hear that Davey? :) Get accustomed to the rumbling sounds of Entheata. It’s gonna be around for a while!

    • TonyOrtega

      Shelly’s mom, not DM’s.

      • Bella Legosi

        Thank you for the correction!

  • Andrew Robertson

    What a splendid start by Profesor Myers. At the risk of offending grammarians who frown on qualifying a superlative I think it permissable to say, in a figurative sense, that the best can only get better!

    Checking the catalogue of the Wellington City Library I was shocked to discover that ‘A History of Man’ was not on their shelves. There were 9 novels by Hubbard, La Fayette Ron and a copy of Dianetics but not a cold-blooded and factual account of my last 76 trillion years. Perhaps it has been wrongly misfiled in the ‘Humour Section’.

    With the nearest Scientology boohshop in Auckland, 635 km to the north, my only hope to procure a copy may be in an antiquarian (or possibly antediluvian) bookshop.

    Andrew

    • Missionary Kid

      Unfortunately, he’s covered the entire book in one post.

      It would be interesting to find out how often those LRH books have been checked out.

      • Andrew Robertson

        I’m disappointed. Maybe Tony could get Professor Myers to review ‘The Way to Happiness’?

        Andrew

        • GlibWog

          After reading what he did ( as a favor to Tony O )
          PZ gouged his eyes out.. sigh

      • Poison Ivy

        That was it? I thought we were in for a series!

        • Missionary Kid

          Tony’s been saying it all along, but, or course, we want more.

    • Mark

      You can download a convenient .zip file containing quantities of Hubbard’s rubbish (including History of Man) in all sorts of useful formats at:

      http://www.scientology-london.com/downloads/index.html

      • Andrew Robertson

        Thank you. Interestingly, Amazon has some very affordable copies:

        ’85 new from $1.00 – 75 used from $0.01 – 3 collectible from $4.00′

        Andrew

        • Mark

          But at least it’s easier to dispose of a .zip file when you’ve lost patience with Sluggard’s tosh.

          • Robert Eckert

            “This is not a book to be tossed aside lightly: it should be hurled with great force” — Dorothy Parker

            Now you can’t do that satisfyingly with a .zip file, can you?

            • Mark

              I’ve changed the sound-file on my recycle-bin to the Spike Jones clip of a Stradivarius going down a waste-disposal. Most gratifying.

        • USA MRIID

          A first edition would actually be worth some money.

          • LongNeckGoose

            I saw A. E. vanVogt’s personal copy for sale on eBay once for several hundred dollars.

      • Marie Claire Wolf

        Thanks but I think I’ll pass.

    • USA MRIID

      We should start a campaign to get “A History of Man” put on every public library shelf in the country. Seriously, we really should. How better to confirm for the world that Hubbard was one mother fucking insane idiot and that his crime syndicate’s frauds should be avoided?

      • Missionary Kid

        No, please don’t. There’s enough horse shit out there, and we don’t need to pollute libraries with Roncrap. You’re starting to sound like a $cion when you say that.

        If someone wants to read it, make them work for it.

  • i-Betty

    I’m fired up again now. I’m going to re-post my letter to the LAPD here (originally posted it a couple of hours ago in yesterday’s article – 1535 comments!), along with the email address for anyone else who wants to give them a quick piece of their mind. Then I’m going to have a long think about how else I can make my displeasure known.

    Does Los Angeles have a mayor? Who heads up the city council or local government?

    PS. I don’t think Leah is done by a long shot. A knock-back is going to do nothing more than fire her up.

    Email address: contact.lapdonline@gmail.com

    My letter to the LAPD:

    I am writing from the United Kingdom regarding the leader of Scientology David Miscavige’s wife, Michelle ‘Shelly’ Miscavige. Those of us who have made it our business to expose the abuses of this frightening cult were so thrilled to hear that Leah Remini’s first act upon leaving the ‘church’ had been to file a missing person’s report about her friend.

    The phone lines and message boards across the UK were lighting up: finally someone would sit up and take notice. We’re aware that Scientology spend vast amounts of money to keep officials onside, but: “this is the LAPD!”, was our refrain. They aren’t going to allow this to be brushed under the carpet any longer.

    Well would you look at what happened? Carpet? Meet brush.

    Who actually made the decision? Because let me tell you; good police work doesn’t involve taking the word of a cult member that they are safe and well (brainwashing ring a bell?), or the word of the lawyers who are paid by her husband’s organisation, or – indeed – the word of said husband. None of them can be trusted to be impartial. An officer trained in cult behaviour should have been put on this case and it should have been handled sensitively and with great kindness and understanding towards Mrs Miscavige; someone who removed her from the orbit and influence of her handlers before questioning her face-to-face would be a start.

    Shoddy, shoddy police work. You have short-changed Mrs Miscavige and Ms Remini, and I am ashamed of you.

    [name]

    United Kingdom

    • i-Betty

      Well what a shock, said nobody, ever. The delightful Commentstars has made their way over to the Bunker and has made a cheerful post in yesterday’s article:

      “Commentstars

      • 3 minutes ago

      You all are NUTS. Right up there with the kooks who say Obama’s birth certificate was fake and that the US blew up the world trade centre. You, like all fanatical conspiracy theorist funnel all information to promote whatever irrational point of view your group think has bought into. Yes the CO$ might be an extreme and odd bunch of ducks with extreme practices under the umbrella of a so called “religion” but y’all are suppose to be the sane ones? LOL! I don’t think so.

      “I’m feeling very much short-changed by that LAPD ‘statement’”

      Um ….who cares? Does the world or the LAPD or Shelly Misgavige or anybody owe you anything? You sense of entitlement is just bizarre.

      “What do you want to bet it was a phone call?”

      And you know this how?”

      • Nevermore

        Well, they’ve obviously been let out for the weekend…

    • Marie Claire Wolf

      They also need to be made aware that several other people have been disappeared within the ‘chirch’.

    • Sibs

      Eric Garcetti is the mayor of LA. I’m sure there’s gotta be another authority figure in LAPD to complain to though, thought they were still being watched by some outside group after the whole Rodney King thing. (sorry if that came out gibberish, typing on phone)
      Also wanted to say I’ve been reading this blog every day in the three weeks since I’ve been living out of my car between apartments (and catching up on what I don’t know by reading previous threads), and you guys are possibly the coolest group of people I’ve ever read. Holding out until I get internet again to make an avatar though. Anyway. (ducks back into lurking corner)

      • Robert Eckert

        Welcome to the Bunker! Hope you’re all settled soon.

      • Poison Ivy

        Hang in there Sibs….we all have those “in between” times! You are most welcome here! Have a butter-dipped clam on us!

    • USA MRIID

      L. A. Police Chief asshole Baca is a known Scientology criminal, he will have killed the inquiry as soon as he heard about it.

      • Robert Eckert

        Baca is the sheriff of the LA county force, separate from LAPD.

  • Krew13

    Has anyone informed the hardline Jewish Defence League about the Sciloons’ hijacking the Holocaust for propaganda purposes? Surely they and the likes of AIPAC have enough money and resources to fight the Sciloons. Not even the COS with their army of lawyers and their billions can fuck with AIPAC et al. Even David Miscmidget knows taking on the Jewish lobby is a seriously unwise decision. The Sciloons have managed to get away with scamming millions of dollars out of their members and causing deaths, but if they were to be accused of anti-semitism, that’s one PR disaster they’d never live down. As Trey Parker and Matt Stone said in their genius 1 page ad a few years ago: C’mon, Jews! Show ‘em who runs Hollywood!

  • sugarplumfairy

    “…Not one correct statement anywhere, in either fact or principle…”

    and that from a REAL scientist.. I am now, officially, a huge PZ Myers fan..

    • TheHoleDoesNotExist

      Check out his FreeThought Blog (Tony provides link above), SPF. I just registered this morning.

      He had me at “Holey Crap”.

      • i-Betty

        Absolutely brilliant! Here’s a snippet from PZ’s write-up of his conversation with Tony:

        “The bulk of this book, written in the preening style of a pretentious fourth-grader…”

        • TheHoleDoesNotExist

          and this line means he probably won’t be on some groups’ Christmas card list…

          “The most revealing moment for me was when he confidently announced that
          he had seen his ideas confirmed by medical science in their best source…Reader’s Digest. That’s L. Ron Hubbard’s mind in a nutshell.”

  • Mark

    May just have found another source for LRH’s ‘research’ on shellfish evolution:

    • Nevermore

      Just awesome in its awfulness!

      • Mark

        The pity of it is, no known copy of this 1962 schlockfest is known to survive. Just this one battered poster and a badly-decayed trailer that is apparently being restored. Blast!

    • TheHoleDoesNotExist

      I’ve been waiting for this day to show pics from one our Bunkerites who visited Seaside, FL to have a plate of clams. Seaside is the location for the filming of The Truman Show. Now that’s Delicious!

      http://i40.tinypic.com/29pbtk8.jpg

      • i-Betty

        Superb! I remember when this took place. Awesome to see photographic evidence!

      • Mark

        Yum-yum! Now you’ve made me all nostalgic for the Isle of Man and ‘queenie’ clams!

    • i-Betty

      Now THOSE are some clammy hands! Where on earth do you find all these brilliant things, Mark?

      • Mark

        I think it was Googling for ‘monstrous clam’. You know, just your average day, wanting to “experience… terror” and “witness… twisted desires”. They really should have pushed the boat out and filmed it in ‘Hubb-Visio’ or ‘Clamorama’.

        • i-Betty

          That’s hilarious!

    • ze moo

      I don’t understand how anything that is afraid of boiling water and melted butter can be so fearsome. I think Lrooon just got a bad batch of clams from the market.

      • Mark

        Oh, poor Dr. Zoidberg!

    • John P.

      The Urban Dictionary has an interesting definition of the term “man clam.” http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=man%20clam

      • Mark

        I was wondering how long it’d take someone to find that – you mucky-minded lot! Well, at least there’s now a male equivalent to the “camel toe” (US) and “camel’s foot” (UK).

        • Poison Ivy

          I now will be looking for an opportunity to use “Man Clam” in a sentence.

      • Couch_Incident

        And they define “clam bake” as the opposite of “sausage fest.”

    • Sherbet

      I want a T-shirt of that poster!

    • Poison Ivy

      Impossible – MAN CLAM wasn’t made until 1962. Maybe the screenwriter read “What to Audit/History of Man” and had a flash of inspiration?

      SADLY, We’ll never see this masterpiece:

      “All traces of the infamous 1962 monster movie “MANCLAM” were considered lost, until the demolition of an old theatre in central Saskatchewan, Canada brought to light what is believed to be the only surviving poster, seen above, and a battered film canister containing an extended trailer, the restoration of which is nearing completion.

      No other footage from this notorious B-movie is known to exist.”

      • Mark

        I know – mentioned it before, Ivy (see below). Maybe John Waters could do a remake?

        • Poison Ivy

          Oh, see it now! Love the idea of a John Waters remake!!

          Who knows, maybe the pic will show up somewhere some day. In Europe (a lot of lost silents have been found there) or in someone’s grandfather’s trunk. It breaks my heart when “art” is lost – in all definitions of the word.

  • Racnad

    Picking apart History of Man is like shooting fish in a barrel – only if the barrel has no water and is full of fish! For every Scientologist who looks at it is an act of doublethink to not question it.
    *******
    I remember Karen Black for her performance in the TV movie Trilogy of Terror. I believe the segment where she’s chased around her apartment by a killer voodoo doll influenced countless horror movies to come.

    • RMycroft

      It’s a metaphor. The whole book is a metaphor!

      • Vistaril

        So, the book was never originally titled “What To Audit: and designed to serve as a guide to auditors and what they will find in common throughout their victims’ PCs whole track. The title was never changed when the PR implications of someone like PZ being convinced to provide a review. And, L Ron Hubbard was weaving allegorical magic right from his first sentence which reads:

        This is a cold-blooded and factual account of your last 76 trillion years.

        Got it. ; )

        • Robert Eckert

          “Cold-blooded” is a metaphor for “psychopathic”

      • Racnad

        All of Scientology is a metaphor.

    • lightblb62

      Racnad.. I was going to post also that this was her best performance ever and thoroughly terrifying! OMG it scared the hell out of me. I also believe she won an Emmy for that.

      I knew her at Flag. From my observations at the time… she was a very troubled lady with many issues (outwardly anyway).. may she rest in peace… because, yeah.. as someone else said above…she never seemed to have found it in SCN. Does anyone know if she was still married to Kitt ? She was a VERY good actress whom I believe could have had a steady successful career had she not been hampered by her involvement with SCN. Others whom I met at Flag, who were/are in the industry and have faired better professionally, seemed to keep a very very low SCN profile publicly … (Chick Corea, Stanley Clark, Geoffrey Lewis).. their careers have been steady and successful. TC and KA and JT are among the few “stars” who are very open about their involvement who have done well….but I think for the most part those in the show biz industry know to keep pretty quiet about their SCn involvement. IMHO anyway.

      • Racnad

        In 1987 Karen Black married Stephen Eckelberry, a much younger man who had some connection to Apple School. He bravely stood by her through her illness to very end.

      • Racnad

        I would disagree that Chick Corea or Geoffrey Lewis have kept a low SCN profile. Corea appeals to people with somewhat sophisticated tastes in music than what is typically played on the radio (I’ve seen him perform many times – Return to Forever concerts but mostly Scientology events), and Lewis never became an A-List star. Both were very active in the Scientology celeb circuit and are upfront about Scientology with anyone who asks.

        • TheHoleDoesNotExist

          Geoffrey Lewis has been in a kazillion, more or less, roles, usually in supporting roles and he is still ticking. I have to give him credit for that. He is a very odd clam, but he is a busy clam. Some may not recognize his Name right off, but show them a pic, and oh yeah. We did a few courses together back in long ago decades while we were both on upper OT levels and busy losing our minds. At the time, this seemed like a good idea.

          http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0507212/

    • RMycroft
  • i-Betty

    PZ Myers is wonderful. I can’t wait to get stuck into his blog.

    On a different note, I’ve just received an email update from easyfundraising.org. Remember some time ago there was a story about the depths CoS would plumb to raise money, with particular reference to a new and interesting UK-based initiative which CoS had jumped all over?

    “If you’re buying something online, easyfundraising will donate a percentage of your purchase to good causes without incurring extra costs”

    I am sad to inform you that ‘Ideal Org’ have only managed to raise £225.51 ($350.76) thus far.

    http://www.easyfundraising.org.uk/causes/idealorg

  • Simple Thetan

    While there is no denying the fact that Hubbard was very smart, a scientist he was not. Hence, without exception, where ever he wrote about science, any science, he was wrong. He definitely failed in Biology, Archiology, and evolution. But where he failed most was in anything to do with Physics. For a guy that claimed to have a PhD in Nuclear Physics from George Washington University (a great school), he showed such ignorance in Physics, that even a high school graduate should not show. Yet the robots following him talk with great pride about his nonsensical utterances about Physics.

    • Robert Eckert

      There is nothing to indicate that Hubbard was “smart”. He had a lot of guile, but no intellect.

      • Simple Thetan

        Come on, he fooled so many people for so long. He even fooled me for a while, and I have an IQ of 200. Of course he was smart.

        • Robert Eckert

          That is what I mean by “guile”. It is sometimes called “emotional intelligence”, but the ability to sense and play with other’s feelings has nothing in common with intellectual smarts.

          • Missionary Kid

            As I’ve often said, there’s no connection between emotion and intelligence.

          • Simple Thetan

            I was being ironic. Seriously, I do not thing it was only guile. If you read “The Bare-Faced Messiah” you will see that he had a very sharp mind. Unfortunately, he lacked the integrity that is required from a real scientist. In addition, I feel that he was lazy, and therefore did not bother to actually study the subjects he was talking about. Not a fool though.

            • Missionary Kid

              He was smart enough to stay mostly out of the reach of law enforcement. That was cunning.

            • CraftLass

              This conversation seems to come up a lot in my life, not just regarding LRH. Can you be simultaneously stupid and smart? Yes. You really can. There is a difference between being unable to process and use information and willfully choosing to be ignorant. A lot of very intelligent people do choose to be ill-informed. This can be caused by myriad reasons, including laziness, faith, and a will to dupe people. Most con-men are incredibly smart, you have to be to keep up a long con in particular. Raw intelligence does not dictate how you use your brain, only what you are capable of doing with it if you so choose.

              “How did we get to this place
              Where being well-informed is a disgrace?
              Elections can often be won
              By proving you would rather be dumb
              Unwilling to change your stance
              Give new stats a second glance
              No one is capable
              Of being infallible
              Stubborn is not the same as strong

              It’s one thing to be ignorant
              Yet another to be in denial
              And yet, still another to put
              Actual facts on trial

              In favor of mythology
              With no methodology
              To give your conclusions
              The weight of accuracy”

              -me

            • Robert Eckert

              “There is a difference between being unable to process and use information and willfully choosing to be ignorant” LRH seemed to suffer from both. It is not just that he has little information about the subjects he bloviates on, but that he processes so poorly the bits of information that he does have.

        • http://lliira.dreamwidth.org/ Lliira

          No. He was not smart. You do not have to be smart to fool people with bullshit. You just have to have no conscience. And it’s very, very, VERY easy to fool people who think they are smart, because they think they are difficult to fool.

      • BananaSplits8

        aka If you can’t dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshit.

  • Vistaril

    Classic post. A combination of knowledge, intelligence and wit blended into one of the most accessible and devastating exposures of a core Scientology text I have ever seen. A stark reminder, as if one was needed, of the fact that wogs can demonstrate they understand more about Scientology than any Scientologist, and that understanding can be summed up in one word: AVOID.

    PZ Myers, take bow. I’ve snaffled the entire article for subsequent mining for quotes as and when the need arises across my various Scientology-themed habitats. There is one quote, however, that I’m tempted to contrive opportunity to use, or even just toss casually into conversations from time to time:

    SCIENTOLOGY: As Wrong As Creationism, But In The Other Direction.

    . . . ^^^ delicious material for our resident shoopers, perhaps? (HINT HINT)

    I guess we just have to take the word of the LAPD that they have served and protected Shelly Miscavige as well as their Southern colleagues served and protected Denise Miscavige Gentile over there in the land of the free and home of the . . . what is it again?

    Adios to Karen Black, a woman who went looking for freedom and couldn’t find it anywhere.

    • Poison Ivy

      I sent a link to a friend who’s a paleontologist. I’m hoping s/he’ll laugh as much as I did.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jonathan-van-der-Berg/596544061 Jonathan van der Berg

    The UK press is reporting that Karen Black required public donations to help fund her treatment towards the end. It looks like the cult sucked her family dry before she died. Sad really.

    “Despite Black’s extensive filmography, she had to turn to the public
    to help pay her healthcare costs after she was diagnosed with cancer.
    Her online funding appeal raised more than $60,000 (£38,500).”

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-23627843

    • i-Betty

      Such a shame :(

  • Robert Eckert

    “it was a scalloped-lip, white-shelled creature”
    LRH displaying some self-awareness at last!

    • AnyOldName1

      So “liver lips” is now “scallop lips” or “clam lips”?

  • http://twitter.com/Scientology_411 Scientology_411

    Tony, I certainly hope you and PZ are using the latest “Basics” edition of this book and not an earlier one that had its wondrous truths obfuscated by suppressive semicolons. After all Hubbard is infallible!

    I almost feel sorry for someone doing this Basics book course and being told to find their misunderstood word when they point out that the Piltdown Man was a hoax. What a mindfuck.

  • AnyOldName1

    Sorry for the derail off PZ’s great analysis – but this just showed up on TMZ.

    Last line: “Somebody is pissed”. Teeheehee.

    Church of Scientology
    BLASTS LEAH REMINI
    Over Missing Person Report

    Read more: http://www.tmz.com/2013/08/09/church-of-scientology-leah-remini-blasts-missing-persons-david-miscavige-shelly-miscavige-lapd-statement/#ixzz2bTy1DLho

    • i-Betty

      Nice one :) I’ve commented.

  • Sherbet

    OK, I read it. I laughed. I’m glad. Still ticked off about the LAPD et al, but in a better mood.

    lrh mentions “razorback clams.” I thought a “razorback” was some sort of pig and a “razor clam” is a long, skinny mollusk that looks like an old-fashioned folding razor. (Dad was a barber.) I’ve seen enough razor clams on New England beaches in my lifetime (admittedly, not whole track). Could it be that lrh made a MISTAKE in his terminology? Unlike him, though, I’ll admit it if I’m wrong. Is there such a thing as a “razorback clam”? Quick Googling says No.

    • Missionary Kid

      {{{{LRH made a MISTAKE? Impossible! He is the Source of all knowledge and science.}}}}

      • Sherbet

        I know! It must be me.

        • TheHoleDoesNotExist

          Sherb, see the ABC News link I posted. It will cheer you up.

          • Sherbet

            Oh, it did, TH, it did!

        • Missionary Kid

          In Clam Land, it’s always your fault.

          • Sherbet

            Here’s my credit card. Hand me the cans.

            • Missionary Kid

              *Laugh*

            • Missionary Kid

              For some reason, in rereading your comment, I thought of two song titles.
              Send in the Cans
              Send in the Clams.

            • Sherbet

              And the one line from Send in the Clowns: “Don’t bother; they’re here.”

            • Missionary Kid

              Thanks, I didn’t remember that.

      • Once_Born

        Quadruple sarcasm brackets – a new record!
        Do you think four is enough for the sentence within?

        • Missionary Kid

          It’s a measure of the disgust I have for LRH. :D

          • aquaclara

            BananaSplits8 has the only submission needed for a new MK list. It’s for Krusty. I see no need to flatter her ginormic ego with any more effort expended. This one said it all.
            Petulant POS.

            hehehehe.

            • Missionary Kid

              I do have one fro Krusty, and that’ll go on it. It’s fairly short.

    • i-Betty

      I’m so glad you’re feeling a little bit better :)

    • Robert Eckert

      As PZ says, he cannot seem to get ANYTHING right in this book.

      • Sherbet

        His name is spelled correctly, and then it was downhill from there.

        • Robert Eckert

          That’s why he usually went by “L. Ron”: spelling “Lafayette” correctly was too hard. Every time, he’d have to puzzle again, two f’s or two t’s?

    • ze moo

      {Isn’t that a name for a famous football team in Arkansas?} I can see the football opposition cowering in fear from the mighty ‘razorback clams’.

      • Sherbet

        This is what the opposing team would say: “Oh, no! Click, click, click…I feel a whole track engram coming on!”

        • ze moo

          The cheer leaders would come up with some epic chants.

  • Studious Judious

    My jaw hurts

    • Studious Judious

      From laughing!

  • Cunning Stunt

    “I don’t know exactly what happened” Oh well, that clears everything right up then!

  • TheHoleDoesNotExist

    ABC News about Leah Remini, Shelly Miscavige, LAPD…. Many more questions to ask now. Yep.

    http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/video/leah-remini-files-missing-persons-report-david-miscaviges-19913734

    • Missionary Kid

      Thanks, THDN. I thought ABC handled it well. I think that the ending, “Many more questions” was great.

      • BosonStark

        In my six years of following the cult, I have never seen the major TV media getting it so right in a way it will be intelligible to the general public. This is heating up into a good show-down: Leah Remini vs. Crazy Cult.

        With other TV stories, I always felt the media, whether it was Anderson Cooper or whatever, were not connecting the dots in the way of exposing the degree of control the cult exercises over its membership in order to get their money and make them lie to the public as well as themselves.. While they aren’t talking about the money machine here, they are talking about a unique form of control that DM can use to drive his wife into hiding/exile.

    • AnyOldName1

      Leah opened a whole can of worms with her missing person’s report. It is just giving the media a chance to “report” on the story – including the backstory. The DailyMail Online did a lengthy piece as well: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2386970/LAPD-search-Scientology-leaders-wife-Shelly-Miscavige-prompted-Leah-Reminis-missing-person-report-detectives-met-confirmed-alive-well.html

      • Cheryl

        I would be more impressed if The Guardian or The Independent ran a piece or even The Times or Telegraph. The Daily Mail is not known for great journalism, it’s obsessed with immigration and celebrities, has a mostly right wing readership who want the UK to leave the European Union.

        • AnyOldName1

          The point is, the information is getting out to the masses. And, if it is to an audience that follows celebrities, all the better. They aren’t just getting the Tom Cruise blah, blah, blah.

          • Cheryl

            It’s not getting to the masses though, it’s a niche market . Needs to get to the Guardian , The Times or the good old BBC if it is to influence people who might actually give a damn and do something. Here In the UK people equate Scientology with The Mormons or Jehovas Witnesses. I’m generalising terribly but they see it as a little nutty but mostly harmless. Programming is few and far between we’ve had the John Sweeney things and the Scientologists at war on channel 4. The latter was not watched by a huge audience and the formers programme is mostly remembered and reported for Sweeney’s shouting at Tommy Davis.
            Maybe we should get Amnesty International to start a writing campaign lol!!

        • http://www.tingleff.org/jensting/muslinger/ Jens TINGLEFF
          • Cheryl

            I’ll read it. Just glad that someone other than the DM, and i dont mean the diminutive leader of CoS, are showing an interest. I think we in the UK need to start lobbying our MPs about Scientology and get them looking into their practices as a matter of urgency. Im sure i read something about the local MP where the manor house in Sussex is is sympathetic to their we are a discriminated against minority line.I’ve found out so much in the last couple of months thanks to a you tube search which brought up a video of Tony on Media Mayhem I think it was called. All thanks to an argument I had with a friend about how she thought Tom Cruise came across as a really nice guy when interviewed by Graham Norton.

          • Cheryl

            I wonder if the Independent might do a follow up piece on the state of Scientology in the UK?

      • aquaclara

        Yep. The Daily News did the same this morning, which may have already been noted…still catching up on comments. The comments show that New Yorkers know EXACTLY what’s going on….in the cult…that hides people….and does other bad stuff.
        So far, the only ones that look like they believe this “she is found” story are a) the LAPD, b) David Miscavige, and c) some unknowing clams in and around Big Blue

    • Mark

      Off-topic, but Janet Reitman seriously needs to get her thyroxin levels checked.

    • Illinoisian

      Whoever selected the clip of DM chose a soundbite (. . . we have a monopoly on workable solutions . . .) that echoes the most quoted (generally to point out COS arrogance) line in the TC video (” . . . we are the only ones who can help . . .). Good choice and surely intentional.

  • AnyOldName1

    Sorry, more derail:
    Krusty is tweeting and she can’t shut up

    • AnyOldName1

      Not sure if this is a follow-up:

      • AnyOldName1

        And another?

        • sugarplumfairy

          I say, let the proofreading begin..

          • shasha40

            I think that was a slip, but real as in , ” if I had Freedom of speech…” Remember she got in trouble for tweeting last time. I guess she learned well from Td, Keep the foot bullets coming Kristie , you’re on a roll !

            • sugarplumfairy

              Freudian slip? But she does believe in Freud..

            • Captain Howdy

              Yea, a slip of her fat eclair covered fingers.

          • USA MRIID

            Hey, she’s a Scientology communications expert graduate, she knows exacst7675tsv what;’s eh7xb’s thinking.a

            • sugarplumfairy

              I understood THAT better than I understand kirstie..

        • i-Betty

          Nice grabs, Any!

        • Cher

          That’s rich considering what started this with Leah was asking where Shelly was. Oh that’s right freedom of speech only applies when you are toeing the cos line

        • Bella Legosi

          So, has she ever explained why she has been eating her feelings while applying $cientology? Is she that shitty of a person? Too bad clams don’t believe in diseases; she could just put off all that weight to thyroid problems……….but nope…….according to L Ron that shit is all in her head………..Seeing as how she hasn’t been able to maintain a decent weight me thinks the auditing is going crappy! I am not talking shit either about her weight. Just plain, simple, observation.

    • 1subgenius

      The LAPD characterization of the missing person report as “unfounded” which was an attack on Leah’s credibility will be the basis for more of the same by CoS.
      Kirstie has commenced the smear.

      • BananaSplits8

        I’m really starting to despise that petulant pos.

        • Missionary Kid

          {How can you despise her? You haven’t seen the best of her!}

        • Cher

          I’m right there with you!

        • aquaclara

          Me, too. Great name for her. I am humming the Banana Splits theme song as I write this!
          I like this so much I just this name in to Missionary Kid for a new, short list. Note is below if you are viewing notes on “newest.” Now as soon as I make it through all the comments today, I AM going back to work. really. REALLY.

          • Robert Eckert

            Do you really think you will be able to “make it through” the comments, reading them faster than new ones pop up? Remember to refresh every time there is a picture Disqus won’t show you, or else you’ve cheated!

            • aquaclara

              this is the story of my week.

    • RMycroft

      The fat lady tweeted, and she thinks it’s over?

      • shasha40

        Remember ,she lives in Scientoology world , everthing is opposite of reality .

      • USA MRIID

        She says “checkmate” and then the insane fuck says “what’s your next move.” The insane fuck apparently does not play chess very well if the insane fuck thinks there’s a move after checkmate.

    • CraftLass

      I like how she doesn’t even know how to post a proper hashtag. Keep showing us how smart you are, Ms. Alley. Go ahead. lol

    • shasha40

      OOh my , she’s sure to end up on the RPF ,for tweeting such entheta about Tiny dick !

    • Ruby

      But wait…she disconnected from Leah so how is it she can communicate to her?? Make up your mind, Kirstie.
      That just might cost you some sec checks!
      AND…this is the perfect example of Kirstie creating antagonism.

      • AnyOldName1

        You expect anything resembling logic with this woman?
        This “cracked me up” – seriously I spit coffee on this one:

        • Ruby

          hahaha!

    • dbloch7986

      I imagine that if shit has a taste, it’s similar to what it feels like when I read anything written by this awful woman, or see her, or hear her awful voice. I love “Village of the Damned”, I’m glad she is a bad guy in the movie or I’d never be able to watch it.

      Kirstie Alley is just a terrible person all around.

      • Mark

        Try the original 1960 Village of the Damned with George Sanders – much creepier, and Krusty-free too!

    • USA MRIID

      Doesn’t that insane loon realize that if it’s Checkmate there isn’t another move?

  • TheWidowDenk

    This is not the best of circumstances (the passing of Karen Black), but I finally have the opportunity to correct a mistake. Back at the time of that 2012 Writers of the Future Awards event blogging, Tony asked me if Karen Black had ever presented at an event before. I said “no.” It came to mind much later that she had. I remember Karen Black at the Awards event when the Explorers Club flag LRH carried was presented to Author Services. The event was held at Author Services in 2001. Rest in peace, Karen. My sincere condolences to the family and friends.

  • TheHoleDoesNotExist

    CNN…just announced they will be talking next about Leah Remini and how the “church” is saying it’s all just a publicity stunt. I’m sure this will make Perfect logical sense to all of CNN’s viewers…hahahaha. David Miscavige, you just keep looking more and more insane and Guilty to the world. Please continue.

    • Robert Eckert

      That there is not anyone from LAPD willing to be named as having contacted Shelly is very striking.

      • RMycroft

        In these War on Terror days, every public-paid official seems to be anonymous. I guess if their name is actually used then they’re a nobody who doesn’t matter. (Yes, that’s crazy.)

        In the old days, they just gave statements “off the record”.

    • AnyOldName1
  • richelieu jr

    Say what you like about that cover, but them’s good eats.

    Ol’ Hell Round didn’t get fat by accident, but from Sticking everyone last,morse lof life’s blond from, everyone pour fool he could get his break and dirty finger nails on…

    Amazing that anyone who watched that bastard struggle with a Sloppy Joe (survive!) ever ate again.

    • Sherbet

      Your Eminence, I think you need some editing toute suite. “sucking everyone’s last morsel of life’s blood from every poor fool…”

      • Captain Howdy

        It’s perfect the way it is.

    • i-Betty

      You crack me up.

  • N. Graham

    Nashville was a masterpiece in many ways and Karen was very good in that. Also Family Plot. Ms. Black had a certain persona that seemed to be inherent in every character she played, but she made it work, especially in Five Easy Pieces. I liked her in Hitchcock’s Family Plot also.

  • Bella Legosi

    Seriously?!?! There now is another “Bela Lugosi”? I just came across their reply on HR……..wow. Tried to point out that at the time of the LAPD confirmation there was NO NAMED source to confirm that LAPD had actually rapped up the investigation! lol Talk about jumping my shit and being shitty about it. Even the HR article at the time didn’t name a source, they only mentioned “LAPD”. lol Sorry, if I expect an actual name to go along with information pertaining to police and missing persons.

    Wow……….OSA. Am I really that popular? Dirty. Rotten. Finks! Sorry to derail, but just noticed all of this when I had a break.

    • Studious Judious

      They say imitation is the highest form of flattery. They must feel threatened by your comments and wish to deflate them.

      • Bella Legosi

        That is kinda what trips me out. I MUST be hitting some hard truth! Cuz, all I really do is comment and be a smartass. Hmmmmmmmm I will be sure to keep you all posted!

    • shasha40

      Bella , you are that Awesome ! OSA , we’re Free to voice our opinions amongst other things here. Keep reading here, you’ll learn something !

    • Artoo45

      Silly clams. They don’t get that you are a lady vampire made of small, interlocking, plastic blocks, not a deceased thespian.

      • Bella Legosi

        lol

      • Bella Legosi

        Interesting……..just clicked on Bela and there is only one comment….the one that was made to me on HR last night on Activity. Everything else is blank. Can’t even follow my own stalker ;P

      • Bella Legosi

        Here is the screen shot of what I see when click on Bela………….interesting. Shall keep yall posted if any weirdness blows my way! Better charge up the supah dupah 8mg HD camera ;)

    • Robert Eckert

      Getting your own personal stalker is a high honor. Of course, you’re not in the same class as a mighty warrior who gets a whole team of Squirrel Busters assigned to him, but still…

      • Bella Legosi

        That is true. I am still surprised. 99% of what I do just really talk shit and point stuff out. Sometimes, I update on the Idle mOrg, but compared to the real critics I am but a tiny minnow! Geez, has the expense account with OSA been cut or what?

    • Poison Ivy

      Bella, you have the most original spelling of the name.

    • USA MRIID

      That’s because the LAPD spokesclam is still trying to find out who got the envelope full of cash to make the inquiry go away. Once they find out who got paid, they’ll be sure not to let us know.

      • Bella Legosi

        No kidding! lol

      • Missionary Kid

        You’re overreaching. No cash necessary. They did their legal duty. They don’t need (and are prohibited from) getting involved in any deprogramming.

        Cash isn’t necessary. They’ve got bigger fish to fry instead of injecting themselves into what is to them, a religious controversy.

  • CraftLass

    First of all, big shout-out and welcome to any of my skeptic PZ Myers’-loving friends who may have stopped by here today. Read the links Tony posted, you’ll learn a lot of good stuff. Okay, really, it’s bad stuff, but good to be informed more deeply on.

    The order of magnitude of error by LRH and Creationists is truly hilarious. Never looked at it that way before! Also, I love how whenever LRH had opportunities to choose between things that were being studied at the time, he always seems to choose the most incorrect option. Always. Incredible. He would have really sucked on a multiple-choice game show. Guess it’s a good thing (for him) that he decided to con millions out of people instead.

    I can understand how people raised with Creationism or Scn don’t have the opportunity to even learn popular science, but how does anyone swallow either if even slightly exposed to science? Not even classes or real journals, but the sort of science that does trickle out to the public at large. I was just reading about how a Creationist school book publisher decided to take Nessie out of their science textbooks, because scientific searching has shown that there is definitely no monster currently in Loch Ness. Why can they accept that bit of science but still insist that there are as-yet-undiscovered living dinosaurs and that Earth is so young? It’s just baffling.

    Even with accounting for crappy science education and the giant debates on issues like evolution that were raging around the time of LRH writing this pile of clap-trap, how is it at all possible to take anything written by the person who wrote this seriously? It’s like a one-volume testament of being very, very wrong. About everything that has ever happened.

    Every time I think I’m starting to grasp how people get sucked in, I confront a piece of LRH writing that requires mental gymnastics well above the Olympic level.

    No offense to those who were in, really not trying to insult anyone, this is just my way of trying to understand you all better, which I bother with because I really do care about you, even though I’ve never met any of you yet.

    Gosh, in every aspect of life, I keep coming back to the conclusion that a thorough basic science education is the most important thing we can give any child as a society. It’s like an inoculation against being duped on many level.

    • Poison Ivy

      “I keep coming back to the conclusion that a thorough basic science education is the most important thing we can give any child as a society. It’s like an inoculation against being duped on many level.”

      Science, and critical thinking. Which arises from the study of history, philosophy, great literature (& art) as well.

      Sadly, these are the areas of learning most attacked by the forces for whom ignorance is an asset.

      • CraftLass

        Agree 100%. We need more renaissance-man-style education, a thorough grounding across disciplines as well as learning how they interact with each other. Yup, critical thinking.

        Of course that’s what those forces attack, because they may cling to willful ignorance, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t aware that education is the antidote to their nonsense. I can’t find it right now, but there was an article a few weeks ago giving advice to Creationists who want to study science and use it to prove their beliefs. Part of the advice was to make sure to go to a well-regarded school known for a good science program and to never, ever let your university know that you are a Creationist. That way, you can absorb all the “misinformation” (a.k.a. facts based on actual evidence) and use that knowledge to refute it after you graduate and get employed in “Creation Science”. Yeah, really.

        Meanwhile, around the same time I read that I started reading “Generation Atheist”, a collection of stories about losing your faith written by young people. The ones who were very religious as children all cite learning science and philosophy as the catalyst for their deconversions.

        I’m not saying you can’t be a critical thinker at all and still have faith, many of the people I most deeply admire are scientists who believe, but at least it makes you far less blind. “Faith without question is no faith at all.” – a wonderful, thoughtful priest who actually took the time to explore my own faith/lack of it with me when I was 7. I may have wound up with different conclusions than his, but that statement really sums up a thoughtful approach to belief to me, and I can respect that. It’s the decision to put on blinders that baffles me, and the manipulation of education to keep children from having the tools to make that choice for themselves that makes me very, very angry.

      • TheHoleDoesNotExist

        You reminded me of something, PI, that may be a crucial part of the scam. Critical thinking yes, and then there’s also the matter of emotional maturity and judgment. It goes hand in hand in weeding out the more likely to stay inside the bubble. Many I knew that got in, some going back to the 60′s, and other decades, but none in the 2000-2013 era, many had problems that weren’t Major, like full blown mental breakdowns. Some looking back definitely suffering from PTSD, others were minor issues like shyness. A few I would have to say were mentally impaired but functional.

        Those who stayed became worse not better. That’s the simplest way I can put it and that is why it is a dangerous activity. I can say without hesitation that the majority undergo some type of maturity regression, both behavioral and emotional and judgment skills become so skewed as to be considered defective at best. I don’t know all the science of exactly where and how critical thinking interacts with this mess, but obviously it would. Even with something as simple as the flu, most people can barely function enough to make soup and that is on a physical scale. But imagine having the flu untreated for decades.

        • CraftLass

          Interesting. Very interesting. That makes me think of the philosophy of kids being “thetans in little bodies” and the irony of your observation of the degradation of one’s maturity. Do they oppose each other or go hand-in-hand? Bringing everyone to the same level, essentially. Need to ponder this more…

          • TheHoleDoesNotExist

            Hubbard’s emotional maturity abruptly ended in his early teens coincident with the onslaught of a long list of physical symptoms as well as mental. Scientologists have a phrase when having a difficult time deciding or figuring something out: “What would Ron do?” Scientology is All about becoming Ron like. I peg it age 12 through 14.

            Take a look and listen to Any video with scientologists talking and observe it for yourself, especially the ones who have been submerged in the toxic soup for decades, like the OT 7′s and OT 8′s. Those who have been in for that long and leave have major recovery steps and processes to accomplish in order to learn adult behavior and judgment. It is very hard work and why it is said to be one of the hardest cults to recover from. Of course, you have to remember what age 12 feels and looks like.

            • Mark

              The same applies to Shortarse – stuck in early adolescence.

            • TheHoleDoesNotExist

              In his case, I’m going with born a sociopath. If I am to believe a few comments in the past, his mother agrees with this speculation.

            • CraftLass

              Oh, I’ve definitely noticed that in videos, you just explained the “why” well and made something click in my head. :-) So, thanks!

              Keep coming back to this idea that there should be special schools or halfway homes or something for people emerging from cults, where you can take classes in things like taking care of yourself and coping with the wider world. It always breaks my heart to read (or hear people talk or see shows/documentaries) about that adjustment to things that those of us never-in take for granted, like your example above of making yourself soup when you have the flu. Where questions and notions that might seem really strange to other people are never laughed at. Where it is safe to work through joining the world-at-large at your own pace and with people who get where you are coming from. A lot of that learning needs to come from within, but that doesn’t mean a little extra kindness and help would be amiss during such a difficult process. Growing up is hard enough when you’re doing it on a more “normal” timeline and with the support of family and friends!

            • TheHoleDoesNotExist

              Which is why I eventually reconsidered the benefits of this Indie halfway house model and now say trying to cure scientology with scientology is not a good idea. Those who’ve been in for decades need real professional help and guidance. The forums are fine IF the therapist agrees and when it is the proper time and the therapist can supervise.

              In fact, there is yet another discussion on the Rinder blog today after news of Karen Black dying from cancer, and one inde after another is Reinforcing each other on the “knowledge” that she got cancer, or couldn’t be cured, because Hubbard’s “tech” was misapplied. I hope they all get help in their recovery soon. I really do.

            • CraftLass

              Yes. So much yes. The corporate cult is far worse, of course, because of the power it wields over those involved, but the core of the whole problem is putting faith into ideas that are so easily PROVEN wrong. You can’t build a house of truth upon a foundation of lies.

              Following the logic of curing cancer via “tech”, then it must have been rarely, if ever, applied correctly, considering cancer rates among adherents. LRH claimed his “tech” was “foolproof,” correct? How foolproof could something be if no one, not even the biggest “experts” who have ever trained in it, have managed to apply it correctly?

              My brain is back in knots again.

            • TheHoleDoesNotExist

              The high cancer rates are due to two factors 1) 24/7 High Intensity Stress, volume at 11. 2) Spending all their time and money on auditing to “cure” as well as scientologist chriopractors or DO’s or “wellness centers” selling all kinds of quackery theories to cure.
              By the time a scientologist Does see an oncologist, if at all, likely it is at Stage 3 or Stage 4, much harder, and sometimes impossible, to help at that point.

              As far as “correct tech, correctly applied”, let me help untie the knots. It is Very simple. 1) he made it all up and 2) he made it all up every week and every month, sometimes because he wanted his cash pile to be higher, sometimes because the voices in his head ordered him to do so. Add to this the fact that “ethics” and SP’s are interwoven into all things scientological so when something doesn’t work or causes harm, there’s an SP in the pile to hunt and root out. The “tech” on SP Hunting is also changed constantly.
              Picture a frantic hamster in a wheel cage. He never gets there either.

            • CraftLass

              Right. See, I know these facts you are talking about, but what ties me up is how a True Believer makes these leaps even after getting away from the direct manipulation. Not at first, I know that letting go can take time, but the people who are still believing after they have adjusted in other ways.

              I’m the sort who can’t suspend my disbelief for long enough to enjoy most movies, though, so this is a particularly tough area for me to understand. Thanks for taking the time to help and make some sense of it all! Really appreciated.

    • aquaclara

      “it’s like a one-volume testament of being very, very wrong. About everything….”
      Hahahahah. Love your comments.
      Happy Friday.

      • CraftLass

        Awwww, you just made my day, thank you! :-) And a happy Friday to you, too!

        • aquaclara

          I’m making clam chowder for dinner tonight! Really. :)

          • CraftLass

            LOL!!! I was just thinking about grabbing some fried clams when that popped up. Really! I live a block away from a famous clam bar, can’t tell you how many giggles I get out of that whenever I leave home. :-D (Fun to finally share that with someone who gets the joke!)

            • aquaclara

              Fried clams!!! Yum! I’ll be thinking of you as I enjoy my clam chowder tonight! Anyone else who wants to join in is welcome. BYOC. and B(eer).
              TGIF!

            • TheHoleDoesNotExist

              I’m in. Hey, maybe our Bunkerettes who will be attending the beginning of the SP Party weekend today will show us some pics of Patty’s Lobster tails, just to rub it in. Hope they’re having too much fun. Okay, I am really going to have to have the clams for dinner now. Be right over. Red or white?

            • aquaclara

              Both! And yes, I hope that the SP party is FILLED with Bunkerites who will share all the good bits with the rest of us at some point. while they eat their lobster….and chat amongst themselves, and laugh themselves silly. Knowing they deserve all the fun they can possibly have.

            • CraftLass

              Sounds like we might be creating one heck of a new tradition! Like with my tweeps, we’ll do the same thing all over the world at once, and it’s like doing it together, just in separate locations. Bunker Clam Dinner Night! Fun! I’m going to save my fried clam-having for dinner tonight, and break out the IPA I’ve been saving for a special occasion to toast you. :-)

          • Sherbet

            Try Indie Clam Chowder. It’s not as thick and heavy, but it still leaves the same taste in your mouth.

            • TheHoleDoesNotExist

              Curry Burn?

            • Sherbet

              No, it’s more like a sour taste…

            • aquaclara

              They’ll be COOKED clams, don’t worry!

            • Robert Eckert

              More reasonably priced, at least!

          • Espiando

            I don’t like clams, but I was planning on going to Red Lobster for a late lunch after I leave work in a little while. Does that count?

            • aquaclara

              Oh, yes!!! Seafood fest and toasting all around….and if we start a wee bit early, who will say no?

    • Gabbyone

      I agree with everything, but would add a separate course in “critical thinking skills” and “basic lessons on how scammers work” to support the science education that they need.

      • CraftLass

        Yes! Can’t upvote this enough!

      • ze moo

        Many high schools do a ‘consumerism training class’. They teach the ’4 out of 5 dentists recommend’ statistics and simple logic. Most do brief training on rent a centers scams and other simple cons.

        You can’t watch the History channel and not see ‘ancient alien’ and other quackery. The use of quackery in mass market media has become hard to avoid. Being stupid and gullible is its own economic punishment.

        • Gabbyone

          Ouch! I would rather think of myself and my friends who got conned by Jenny McCarthy’s dentist as being “naive and authority-trusting” not “stupid and gullible”, but I can agree with your term “economic punishment”. It really hurts. : (

    • Once_Born

      Agreed. Science is a state of mind, not a parade of facts (which is how it is often taught in schools).

      If Hubbard’s readers had all been taught how the scientific method works, perhaps more of them would have asked:
      “where are his references?”
      “how could he possibly have put that claim to a fair test?”
      “where are the papers that contain all this claimed research – and were they peer reviewed?”
      &c. &c. &c..

      • CraftLass

        Exactly.

    • Nevermore

      Nessie is real – she has plenty of good hiding places to use when the monster hunters arrive every summer…

  • ze moo

    “The impression given is of a poorly informed, relatively unread and
    uneducated individual, who is reflecting weakly understood material
    gleaned from casual reading of newspapers and popular magazines — he is
    spectacularly ignorant.”

    A bloviating, pretentious sociopath who got his book learning from popular general news magazines. Yeah, that’s some serious ‘research’ Lroon did.

    Most people think that Piltdown Man, like the Loch Ness Monster was a harmless joke. It actually set Raymond Dart (a brilliant South African professor) and all of anthropology, back almost 30 years. Anthropologists kept looking for large brained human ancestors in Europe and Asia, when Australopithecus (real human ‘missing links’ ) types were small brained and in Africa. Many years were lost walking down the wrong road. Sort of a metaphor for $cientology itself, isn’t it?

    Too bad the LAPD punted. I do hope the ‘where’s Shelly ‘ meme keeps going. Someday she may see it and start to wonder what the hell she is doing.

    • pronoia

      My hope is that if the cops really did talk to her, they managed to mention that her old friend Leah Remini was worried about her. That in itself might create some cognitive dissonance — and also let her know that if she ever does want out, she definitely has a place to run to.

      • Poison Ivy

        Exactly.

      • TheHoleDoesNotExist

        So a welfare check turns into a reality check, which we all are hoping doesn’t bounce.

    • Poison Ivy

      “Sort of a metaphor for $cientology itself, isn’t it?”

      Sadly, true. Well said.

    • Once_Born

      The Loch Ness Monster is not a harmless joke.
      It’s a valuable tourist magnet.

  • http://www.tingleff.org/jensting/muslinger/ Jens TINGLEFF

    .. and that is why we call the victims of the mind-fuck perpetrated by the criminal organisation known as the “church” of $cientology

    C L A M S !

    Illustrated in an eye-catching fashion by the late, great, Dave Bird : http://www.tingleff.org/jensting/duke_tour/images/Poole980328/poole-980328-1.jpg

    • USA MRIID

      Ah, I miss Dave Bird. He was a delight to behold in a.r.s. :(

  • Krew13

    It’s all about KSW – Keep Superman Winning. Man of Steel was a good ass movie.

  • pronoia

    Kuddos to BZ and Tony for having the patience to wade through the bind-bending boredom of LRH and for doing so with such wit!

    “The pulp of a tooth, for instance, tracks back, cell by cell, to early engrams. When these are relieved, a ‘toothache’ in that tooth becomes almost impossible no matter how many ‘nerves’ are exposed, a matter which brings about a revolution in dentistry.”

    Is that the reason Hubbard’s teeth were rotting out of his head?

    And RIP Karen Black. I got my Robert Altman movie titles mixed up last night. She was not in 3 Women. But I her role as a (suppressive) transvestite in “Come Back to the 5 & 10 Jimmy Dean,Jimmy Dean.”

    • BananaSplits8

      And this re/ his version of the clam experiment: ” The victim may grip his jaws with his hand and feel quite upset. He may even have to have a few teeth pulled.” Is this supposed to be QED? You walk into a conversation about clams and you suddenly need teeth extracted?

      Anyway, that bloviating self-healer had issues about bad teeth, didn’t he?

      • dbloch7986

        I think it’s more like grabbing your jaw out of confusion.

        • Nevermore

          And then banging your head off the desk!

  • nottrue

    PZ thanks for showing what a total piece of shit the book A History Of Man really is.

  • Mary_McConnell

    Thank you Tony, PZ Myers and Kate Bornstein! I just love that reality check!

    Re: Leah’s report on Shelly… this was not unexpected. Good for Leah for bringing attention to the matter. As TMZ stated, yes, she’s been found but:
    “One question we asked that we could not get answered … Did cops determine Shelly was or was not being held against her will?”
    http://www.tmz.com/2013/08/08/shelly-miscavige-david-miscavige-scientology-leah-remini-missing-persons-lapd/

    Karen Black… she loved theater work and singing most. Glad she’s finally at peace.

    Kudos for the acknowledgement in National Association of Black Journalists on your article, Tony!

  • dbloch7986

    It doesn’t surprise me that Hubbard would focus on a hoax or questionable “discovery” in his book. I bet if you ask a Scientologist they will tell you the reason for that is because the government is lying to you. Scientologists love conspiracy theories.

    It makes me mad that I believed this crap for so long. I guess I just have to keep reminding myself that I was just a kid.

    Thanks PZ and Tony for this entertaining exchange. Perfect start to my Friday morning.
    ———————–
    Anyone else feel like Scientology’s Sheriff might have something to do with sweeping Leah’s report under the rug? Don’t give up Leah!
    ———————–
    It always makes me sad when a Scientologist dies–especially from disease. I know that their memory will inevitably be disrespected and that they will become a non-person. Scientologists have no respect for death. They have a casual disregard for human life. It’s probably one of the saddest things about Scientology; that it’s full of inhuman monsters.
    ———————-
    Congrats on the recognition Tony! You deserve it!
    ———————-
    In other news, apparently my sister was trying to get a hold of me through a friend because, I “got money” and she wants to send it to me. Her words exactly. Thankfully my friend is awesome and didn’t give her my address. It was insane the way she just boldly asked for my address.

    Nice try OSA. If I was motivated by money I wouldn’t be such an awesome person.

    • Poison Ivy

      “I got money!”

      Ummm…perhaps OSA is not aware that most rational humans are aware of such scams (like the Nigerian bank scam, the sweepstakes scam, etc.)

      That’s because WE ACTUALLY USE THE INTERNET, SUCKERS!!

      • dbloch7986

        LOL–I was thinking the EXACT same thing this morning in the shower. What next, “Just pass me your bank account info and I’ll transfer the money immediately! (For a small fee of $3,500.).”

        • TheHoleDoesNotExist

          Hey, Derek. Your friend could just say they are authorized by you to accept the money. Hah!

          • Poison Ivy

            Good one!

      • Eivol Ekdal
        • Mark

          He sounds suspiciously like Nelson Mandela to me – well, not Nelson (too honest) – but maybe one of Nelson’s rather dubious relatives?

    • aquaclara

      Derek,
      The cult spent a lot of money and time to reel people in, many older and perhaps sometimes even wiser than thee (although I don’t know that for sure. You are very smart, my friend.). They perfected how to extract the most pain from their victims while blindfolding them to the reality of Scientology. If the LAPD and the Clearwater PD could not stand up to the cult, consider how much more difficult it is for one single person. Let alone a kid.

      Hugs to you for escaping the monsters.
      You are an awesome person indeed.

      • dbloch7986

        Hugs back at you! Thank you <3

      • Missionary Kid

        Obviously, she didn’t send the money by giving it to your cousin, did she?

        • aquaclara

          Not likely! TGIF, my friend….what a week!

      • cicely neville

        What she said!^^^^^ And a ( ) from me.

  • Krew13

    So, for me, it really is TVG, TV Guide. And it’s just like, it’s something that, I don’t mince words with that. You know, with anything, but that policy to me has really has gone, boy, there’s a time I went through when I didn’t know what was on TV, and when I read it, I just went phooo! That’s it! You know? That’s exactly it.

    We have a responsibility. It’s not just me, it’s you, it’s everyone out there, re-reading TV Guide and looking at what’s on and saying “Ok! Am I going to watch it or am I not going to watch it?” Period

    People need help, ok? And they need to know. They need to know. If someone asks and you don’t know what’s showing on NBC at 9pm, then go and learn it. But don’t say you know when you don’t know, ok? ‘Cause I won’t hesitate to put ethics on someone else, because I put it ruthlessly on myself. And I respect that, you know, in others who know what the Thursday night prime time line-up is in the fall between CBS and ABC. And, you know, I’m there to help, and we’re here to help, and my opinion is that, look, either you have Tivo or you don’t have Tivo. Okay? It’s just, if you have Tivo, you have Tivo just like the rest of us. Period.

    It is the time now. Now is the time, okay? Now is the time that Dexter is in its final season. People are turning to you, so you better know what happened in the previous seasons.

    And uh, they said, “So, have you seen a CRT TV?” I looked at them and I thought “What a beautiful thing,” because maybe one day it will be like that, you know? You know what I’m saying? Maybe one day it will
    be that “Wow, LCD TVs, they just read about those in the history books.”

    • dbloch7986

      Ouch the part of my brain with Scientology programming still in it suddenly grew three inches (like a malignant tumor). It’s now poking at the rest of my prefrontal cortex. I need more Zoloft brb.

    • TheHoleDoesNotExist

      Channelling Tom Cruise? If so, get to the Emergency Room pronto. This was Too good. You may need surgery to remove.

    • aquaclara

      Ok, we also found OTVIIIisGr8. Along with Tommy Boy.
      You are on fire with this one.

    • GlibWog

      OOh Yes Krew I added the Delicious Sound Effects in my head..

    • USA MRIID

      Climb down from that couch, Tom, and sober up, dude!

    • Nevermore

      Yes, but do you KNOW???

    • cicely neville

      Who are you, O brilliant one, and what have you been indulging in? We need to know.

      • Krew13

        Are you suggesting I took some stimulant in order to come up with such a witty post? How dare you! I just used my superpowers, also known as copying and pasting bits of an online transcript of that infamous video and replacing the Sciloon drivel with my awesome mockery. Except that I AM serious about the importance of TV Guide. TV Guide readers have the ability to create new and better realities.

        But as Jerry O’Connell said it best, for me it’s all about KFC. It’s just good chicken.

  • aquaclara

    PZ and Tony, this was some of the best Scilon comedy yet. I was chuckling from the first line through to the end. Brilliant interview. Brilliant observations.
    “You want to start with the first sentence? I want to start with the title: A History of Man: Antediluvian Technology. It’s remarkable. For a book purportedly about human evolution and history, there is almost no history presented anywhere in the book, and what little there is is without exception completely wrong. Dead wrong. Not one correct statement anywhere, in either fact or principle.”
    Thank you PZ, and to your wife, too, both for reinforcing the importance of having one’s wife right nearby, and of course, adding to our body of funny clam jokes.

  • scnethics

    This History of Man segment is excellent! I’ll be checking out PZ’s blogs for sure.

    While Hubbard was not a man of science, he was a man of marketing, and in 1952, “Antediluvian” was probably a good choice of word.

  • Sherbet

    BTW, Tony, nice piece about Jason Terry.

  • sizzle8

    If Scientology somehow survives, History of Man will belong next to Leviticus, talking snakes, winged horses and jinns.

  • USA MRIID

    PZ is an asshole, what he did to Thunderf00t is inexcusable. Still, I love seeing another review of Hubbard’s most fucking insane lunatic book evah, we made great fun out of it on a.r.s when we compared the early versions against the altered versions that the insane dwarf was selling to the rubes. David tried to eliminate some of the most amusingly insane lunatic notions that Hubbard penned in this book but he could not eliminate them all otherwise the little fuck would find himself left with no text between the covers.

    • sizzle8

      When I see over-the-top zeal on either side, it’ makes me wonder. I’m not real familiar with PZ, but the short bit of Googling tells me he is an avowed anti-religionist and extremely pro-science. Which is ok – except that recent research indicates that people may be “wired” to believe in religion. Which kinda brings you full-circle.

    • Robert Eckert

      You are talking to people who have no idea who Thunderf00t is or what passed between him/her and PZ.

  • USA MRIID

    “possibly the most absurd book ever written.”

    Even worse than Battlefield Earth. :)

  • nottrue

    The Piltdowns teeth were enormous. He ate his wife you know.

    • Robert Eckert

      And nobody had the fucking rank to ask what happened.

      • TheHoleDoesNotExist

        BAM! Today’s Winner.

        • Poison Ivy

          Quick! Get Davy into auditing! He’s stuck in a Piltdown incident!

          (That passage = More evidence of Hubbard’s appalling hostility to women.)

      • USA MRIID

        ROFL! That was too fucking clever! :)

  • USA MRIID

    “Scientology: As Wrong As Creationism, But In The Other Direction.”

    Love it! It should fit on a protest sign. :)

  • USA MRIID

    “We were looking forward to you getting to the clams”

    :) Love the understatement here. :)

    • BosonStark

      They should rename the book to ANTEDILUVIAN CLAM SHIT, and in that way clams would have to buy the new edition. Inside cover could read, “Blessed by Tommy ‘Xenu’ Davis, former International Spokescreature and Sea Org Space Cadet.”

  • USA MRIID

    “Hubbard’s knowledge of human evolution is laughable”

    It’s even worse than that. Hubbard claimed that molecules were intelligent, thinking entities all on their own, and his amusingly loony claims about atoms were, if anything, even more amusing than his notions about molecules.

    Hubbard had no idea what genetics is, zero understanding of DNA or RNA. At all levels of the physical sciences the insane conman criminal was absolutely wrong.

  • MagicJesus

    I loved Trilogy of Terror…
    The Zuni Fetish Doll rocked.

  • Jgg2012

    This Shelly story is strange: they won’t let Shelly talk to Leah Remini, but they do have her come down to LAPD to say she’s fine. Why couldn’t she tell Leah that? Why couldn’t Davey tell Leah that back in 2006? What are they hiding?

    • 0tessa

      I take it that Shelly did not want to talk to anybody else. If she had a talk with a police officer, she could have asked him for help. She obviously did not do that. I think she is deeply immersed in all things Scientology. She is sacrifying her life for it. That’s her own choice. I commiserate her. She is one of the victims of a false and vicious doctrine.

      • Jgg2012

        Then Davey, back in 2006, should have said “Shelly wanted to stay at the base and didn’t want to come”. Period. No KRs on Remini; no sec checks; just the truth…or does Davey have a problem simply stating the truth?

    • L. Wrong Hubturd

      Huh? Where did you read she WENT to LAPD in person?

  • BosonStark

    Karen Black died of ampullary or periampullary cancer, a rare (1% of GI cancers) form of GI cancer that affects the biliary (liver) ducts and/or pancreatic ducts. Like pancreatic cancer, people with a history of smoking have a 2 to 3 times increased risk of getting this form of cancer. Karen smoked in the 80s anyway.

    I don’t know if she ever quit or just kept it up because Hubbard elevated smoking to a health practice in the cult. She can line up for a new meat body behind LRH at the implant station on Mars, and they both died at age 74.

  • USA MRIID

    “Hubbard often speaks of “evidence” and “research” without ever actually revealing what that evidence or research consisted of.”

    Tony, his research consisted of taking MASSIVE drugs and alcohol. Duh!

    • BosonStark

      Whaddaya mean? Hubbard spent his whole life doing research on research, and finding evidence on evidence, to reveal knowledge about knowledge and knowing how to know. Without his tools, you will probably spend your next trillion years shivering in darkness and THIS IS FACTUAL.

  • 0tessa

    But what can you expect from a fantasy writer? And a pathological liar on top of that?
    Scientology is nothing else than one big fantasy with a messianistic component and its creator ended up taking it for real.
    The sad thing is that he made other people believe in it too.
    On the other hand, if you really believe in this crap, then who or what can help you? People believe in it because they want to. After all Scientology is not the first religious fantasy.

    • BosonStark

      Scientology is a religious fantasy with a difference though — such a well-documented liar and fraud as a founder and it’s a science too! Just ask Mike Rinder or other authority on the mind.

    • http://lliira.dreamwidth.org/ Lliira

      It’s got nothing to do with him being a fantasy writer. Most fantasy writers write stories that are much better, more consistent, more logical, more interesting, just plain better in ever conceivable way. And they do not believe their fantasies are real. They certainly don’t bloviate about ancestral clams.

      If Terry Pratchett made up a religion, it would be infinitely preferable to Scientology — or most religions, come to think of it.

      • Paul

        I think the thing is, no science fiction writer except Ron really had dared to ask their readers to believe them they have the answers to the most fundamental questions of life.
        It takes more than courage to do this, because most people would stop at some point realizing they are doing such an evil thing and fucking up so many people’s life.
        After all, nobody in this world has the answers to the fundamental questions of life (yet).

        • phronsie

          In some respects, I think good old’ Orson Scott Card thinks he’s got the answers to life, the universe, and everything, starting with homosexuality should be made illegal; all hail the angel Macaroni! Pheh.

      • L. Wrong Hubturd

        Here here! Sign me up for the Cult of the Night Watch. We only eat mystery street cart food.

        • Mark

          Sausage inna bun, guv’nor?

  • mook

    Dlisted’s hilarious take on this Shelley Miscavige ordeal, complete with a Karin Poopoo statement and a surprising pic
    http://dlisted.com/2013/08/08/the-lapd-says-that-shelly-miscavige-is-not-missing/

    • Cher

      That is hilarious!

    • Robert Eckert
    • Tory Christman

      As I always say (now, after witnessing enough of $cientology’s insane antics):
      We (the ex-Scios, critics, Anons, Indies, and Scios still “in” but really “out”) can

      ALWAYS count on “Dave”, OSA and $cientologists
      to PROVE what we say is true. Also, they are the BEST at

      SHOWING why most of us LEFT. Good riddance~! Happy Friday to ALL :) Tory/Magoo

      • Tory Christman

        PS: I look forward to reading this article: I always HATED History of Man. To me,
        it *always* seemed like UTTER Bullshit, wrapped in a cloak called “religion” that smelled
        as bad as when a SKUNK Sprays. I never got over that feeling, no matter how many words I cleared. LOL!~ (And they’ll go: “See? She had MU’s~! She had Overts and Withholds–bad deeds withheld!!)) OSA: If you think that’s why I escaped out of $cientology…YOU need to see a shrink.

        • Tory Christman

          PSS: Ok, last one: Blessings to Karen~! She always held her own….always. She will be missed by SO many. My best wishes to her family, friends and fans around the world.

        • Nevermore

          Don’t hold back Tory – tell us what you really think! ;-)

    • TheHoleDoesNotExist

      everything’s Just Fine

      http://i40.tinypic.com/2wg4yoo.jpg

  • aegerprimo

    BRILLIANT! “As Wrong As Creationism, But In The Other Direction.” – That sums it up.

  • BosonStark

    The History of Man is groundbreaking in the anus of Hubbard’s work. He soared beyond science to plumb the depths of important rectal research so that all men could be free.

    • aquaclara

      Bettermented! I saw what you did there!

  • MagicJesus

    When I see pics of LRH, I always think back to a story I read, probably here, of the fact that he was afraid of dentists, and because of that he had breath that would melt steel.
    Looking at pictures, he looks like he smells like pee.

    • sugarplumfairy

      I imagine he smells like snake oil.. with just a hint ether and a dash of chloral hydrate..

      • TheHoleDoesNotExist

        Throw in some shark oil, Brylcreem, Old Spice and rum. ewww.. and I just ate.

        • Nevermore

          Pretty sure there should be some body odour in there too. And smelly feet.

  • WhereIsSHE

    Not about to read the 547 comments before I post a sincere thank you to “The Bunker” and “PZ” for a most excellent adventure.

    BRILLIANT discourse.

    Are there still ex-clams/indies who still believe that ANYTHING Hubbard had to say was worth even a minute of their time?????

    It’s one thing to blame Miscavige for leaving this twisted cult.

    It’s another to keep believing that ANYTHING Hubbard had to say was worth more than every other brand of snake-oil ever sold.

    My favorite line: “Scientology: As Wrong As Creationism, But In The Other Direction.”

  • Captain Howdy

    VICE magazine meets Karen Black.. and she doesn’t disappoint.

    I was gobsmacked to find out that Karen did a short film with Raymond Pettibon, brother of Black Flag founder Gregg Ginn. Petttibon did all of the infamous artwork for Black Flag and others, and is considered a major talent in his own right.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H9-0pfG4j40

    .

  • WhereIsSHE

    As for Shelly…
    Just as I predicted, Miscavige produced some form of “proof of life” to law enforcement.
    Just what that was.. is anyone’s guess.

    Is that good enough for anyone here???
    Is that good enough for Leah??
    HELL to the NO.

    This isn’t over.
    Not by a long shot.

    But I’m sure that Kirstie and John and Tom –who also haven’t seen proof of Shelly’s existence, for YEARS– are all going to sleep as happy (or sad?booo-hooing??!) as the CLAMS they believe they once were.
    (Ummmmm… I don’t even know how to have the slightest bit of sympathy for anyone who ever believed such complete and utter bullshit. And if you got out, but still believe that there is ANYTHING worthwhile about this complete and utter scam…. then you need to turn your alarm clock way the F up.)

  • Stephanie

    Awesome post and thanks for getting a real scientist to refute the claims of the clam by L Ron Hubbard.

    I never did “get it” – ‘The History of Man’ by L Ron Hubbard!!

    Of course, I was only clear on my first dynamic and thought I needed to go OT.

    I went OT and still did not “get it” and thought I needed my L’s.

    I did my L’s and still nothing!

    I thought maybe I needed Super Power but I got tired of waiting for Super Power to open so In thought if I read the basics – that would give me the awareness to know the truth about the clam.

    I read the basics twice….nada!

    Then I realized I was “self-listing” (LOL) and should ask my C/S what they thought!

    My C/S told me I needed to donate a big chunk of money to the IAS and buy the ACC’s and do those along with Super Power to be released soon.

    My C/S also told me to re-do my Purif, do at least 150 hours of TR’s and OBJ and get trained to Class 5 Auditor.

    I thought – That should keep me busy until I am dead! I left!

    Of course, Scientology will state that Mr. Myer’s was hired by the Psychs and is an SP.

    Just crazy and insane – Scientology teachings and L Ron Hubbard!!

    • aquaclara

      Love your crisp tour through the cult. The best line….”I left!” ….
      Happy Friday…glad you’re out!

  • Mary_McConnell

    Karen loved most of all to sing. Here she is in 2001

    KAREN BLACK wows SOLD OUT CASTRO THEATRE singing LAZY AFTERNOON

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LeiSEJzbQ7I

  • lisacarolfremont

    I cant wait for the next PZM! More!

  • richelieu jr

    Karen Black= Trilogy of Terror.

    So, so great and scare my little britches off as a kid….

  • richelieu jr

    And this, Tony, from top to bottom, may be your masterwork thus far- Funny, informative and surprisingly educational even for those studying the Scilon dodge for quite a while.. plus real breaking news? Que veut le peuple?

  • richelieu jr

    Too bad Karen Black got so MEST up with Hubbardism… She seemed like a fun, sexy, freaky gal….

  • richelieu jr

    Votes and Notes for Karen Black:

    (Who knew her name was Karen Blanche Ziegler? Dropped the “Z”, then wet from Blanche to Black (changing not only colour, but also personality…)

    It is hard to rank the credits of a woman who made not only films with Hitchcock but also sequels to Ed Wood joints (Plan 10 from Outer Space, anyone?)

    1) Trilogy of Terror!….
    2) Nashville
    3). Family Plot
    4). 5 Easy Pieces
    5). Easy Rider
    6). The Great Gatsby
    7) Day of the Locust
    8) Island of the Alive.
    9) Trilogy of Terror
    10) Trilogy of Terror

    • q-bird

      okay… i ain’t lyin’ – to this day I have some issues with… some (((thing))) under the bed…

      like a little freakin’ monster-doll with an itty-bitty knife & sharp needle teeth – Sherbet & some others were talkin’ about this yesterday & all the spooky came back in full force. Oh yeah I remember!!! Thing is, I forgot it was Karen Black – - – but I can never forget that icky little thing that came alive & attacked – aaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrgh ARRÊTEZ Rich!!!

      p.s. & btw Comment vas-tu? You, the family, the newest petit bébé, are all good yes?!

  • 20pizzapies

    In 1961 at the age of 11 ,I was exposed to Scientology . An older kid in the crowd about age 16 was dabbling in it and he started to espouse and propound it amongst us . We listened for a few minutes , told him he was full of shhheeet , he then gave up on converting us ,and shut his mouth and we never looked back .

  • cbraslow

    Karen Black was brilliant as Miss Connie White in Robert Altman’s masterpiece, “Nashville.”

  • Amir Rasheed

    This scientist is so far off. He needs to study the Supreme Being Wisdom, Master W.Fard Muhammad.

  • Theo Sismanides

    Lol, this “scientist” calls the e-meter a galvanometer which he describes as crude and primitive. He is not even curious (hmm, I guess these days scientists refrain from any curiosity because curiosity killed the cat) about the fact how come some tenths of thousands of people who have been audited by such galvanometers to amazing results due to the accuracy of Hubbard’s theory on As-Isness, have had great results and were able for years to move onto their spiritual path.

    Scientists are not there to talk the talk but walk the walk also.

  • Theo Sismanides

    Tony Ortega you have MUs and you just spread them around