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The “Ethics” of Political Power: Scientology’s Worship of Ruthlessness

Simon_BolivarJefferson Hawkins was once the top marketing executive for the Church of Scientology and helped it reach its greatest extent with the famous “volcano” TV ads in the 1980s. He’s told his tale of getting into and out of the church with his excellent books Counterfeit Dreams and Leaving Scientology, and he’s helping us understand the upside-down world of Scientology “ethics.”

Where are we going today in L. Ron Hubbard’s world of ethics, Jeff?

JEFFERSON: This week we have a treat — Scientology leader David Miscavige’s favorite L. Ron Hubbard essay. It’s Chapter 6 of the book Introduction to Scientology Ethics, and it’s called “Responsibilities of Leaders.”

THE BUNKER: Really? Miscavige’s favorite essay?

JEFFERSON: I’m not joking. He had everyone on the Base read it and word clear it many, many times. If you disrespected him in any way you got crammed on it. If you failed to comply with his orders you got crammed on it. And one year, he even sent specially bound copies to all of the top celebrities so they would know what was expected of them.

THE BUNKER: And by “word clearing,” you mean look up every unfamiliar word in a dictionary, a Scientology obsession. So what is this essay about?

JEFFERSON: It’s about power, which, as we covered last week, Hubbard considered to be the highest “Ethics Condition.” Ostensibly, the essay is a book review. Hubbard had read a book called The Four Seasons of Manuela, written in 1952 by Victor Wolfgang von Hagen, which was a biography of Simon Bolivar, the South American revolutionary leader, and his mistress, Manuela Sáenz.

He states at the beginning that he considers that Bolivar and Sáenz “failed.” It’s interesting that a lot of Hubbard’s philosophical ramblings begin with the premise that this or that philosopher or historical figure “failed.” His main yardstick for failure in this case seems to be that they both “died in poverty.” Sure, they achieved their goal of liberating South America, but they didn’t then consolidate their personal power or use it to make a fortune for themselves, their family and close supporters. So in Hubbard’s mind, they failed! He then does a lengthy analysis of what he considered the “errors” of Bolivar and Sáenz.

THE BUNKER: That seems a bit ironic, considering Hubbard’s condition at the end of his own life. What did he see as Bolivar’s failings?

JEFFERSON: In Hubbard’s view, Bolivar was a supremely vain, idealistic man who thought he could “glow things right” but who lacked the practical organizational skills and the ruthlessness to ensure political and personal victory. As an example, he thought Bolivar should have sequestered all of the property of the royalists (those who supported Spain) so that he could give it to his own friends and supporters. And he suggested that Bolivar should have appointed his officers and supporters to all key government positions, thus ensuring complete control of the wealth and power of the nation.

He also suggests that Bolivar should have killed his political enemies. Literally. He says:

[Bolivar] never began to recognize a suppressive and never considered anyone needed killing except on a battlefield.

And he further criticizes Bolivar for not “suborning or taking out” the Catholic Church, which was allied with Spain — and taking all of their property as well.

THE BUNKER: That hardly sounds like an example of a “free” country.

JEFFERSON: Exactly. And by the way, I read the same book but came to totally different conclusions. I think that this essay says far more about Hubbard than it does about Bolivar. One interesting Hubbard criticism of Bolivar is that he didn’t use people. According to Hubbard, he didn’t delegate power to others.

He feared their blunders. So he did not dare unleash his many willing hounds…It is a frightening level of bravery to use men you know can be cruel, vicious and incompetent.

This will take on a more ominous meaning when we get into his criticism of Manuela Sáenz.

THE BUNKER: So what did Manuela do wrong?

JEFFERSON: Here’s where Hubbard’s analysis gets really interesting. Hubbard states that the main problem with Manuela was that Bolivar never used her to forward his agenda. He states that she was a tremendously able and intelligent woman, but that she should have been more aggressive and ruthless in asserting her role in reinforcing Bolivar’s power.

Here are some of Hubbard’s suggestions as to things Manuela failed to do:

She knew for years Santander [Bolivar’s political rival] had to be killed. She said or wrote it every few days. Yet never did she promise some young officer a nice night or a handful of gold to do it in a day when dueling was in fashion

She was a fantastic intelligence officer. But she fed her data to a man who could not act to protect himself or friends, who could only fight armies dramatically. She did not see this and also quietly take on the portfolio of secret police chief…

…she never collected or forged or stole any documents to bring down enemies…

In a land of for-sale Indians, she never used a penny to buy a quick knife or even a solid piece of evidence…

She never handed over any daughter of a family clamoring against her to Negro troops and then said, “Which oververbal family is next?”

So we get a glimpse at what Hubbard meant when he talked about “unleashing willing hounds.” We’ve discussed utilitarian ethics, where the end justifies the means. Here is one of Hubbard’s most bald-faced statements of what he considers legitimate “means:” murder, bribery, forgery, rape, secret police. He concludes:

Life bleeds. It suffers. It hungers. And it has to have the right to shoot its enemies until such time as comes a golden age.

And this – a clear statement of utilitarian ethics:

…the foremost law, if one’s ambition is to win, is of course to win.

THE BUNKER: So if a Scientologist is assigned a Condition of Power, are they supposed to follow these principles?

JEFFERSON: Yes, this is considered part of the “Power Formula.” But aside from conditions formulas, staff and Scientologists are supposed to follow these principles at all times.

Hubbard ends this essay with his “seven principles of power.” I won’t repeat all of them here, but they involve the things he’s been talking about — delegating power and using people to forward your power. There are a couple of points that are especially chilling. One is the famous “Bulgravia” quote:

When you move off a point of power, pay all your obligations on the nail, empower all your friends completely and move off with your pockets full of artillery, potential blackmail on every erstwhile rival, unlimited funds in your private account and the addresses of experienced assassins and go live in Bulgravia and bribe the police.

THE BUNKER: Again with the blackmail, murder, and bribery.

JEFFERSON: Yes. And here is some choice advice if you are in a subordinate position on how to deal with the top dog:

He doesn’t have to know all the bad news and if he’s a power really, he won’t ask all the time, “What are all those dead bodies doing at the door?” And if you are clever, you never let it be thought HE killed them — that weakens you and also hurts the power source. “Well, boss, about all those dead bodies, nobody at all will suppose you did it. She over there, those pink legs sticking out, didn’t like me.”

“Pink legs” became a meme in the Sea Org. You got the stats up any way you could, and any questions about how the stats were raised were answered with “pink legs,” meaning “you don’t want to know.” You complied with Miscavige’s orders any way you could, and the methods you used were “pink legs.”

And finally this bit of self-serving advice:

…always push power in the direction of anyone on whose power you depend. It may be more money for the power or more ease or a snarling defense of the power to a critic or even the dull thud of one of his enemies in the dark or the glorious blaze of the whole enemy camp as a birthday surprise.

And that’s how you’re supposed to support Hubbard or Miscavige — get him more money, snarl at his critics, and destroy his enemies. It’s the ultimate authoritarian rule.

THE BUNKER: Well, that is a very eye-opening look at what is supposedly Scientology’s highest ethics condition.

JEFFERSON: You often hear Scientologists describe themselves as “the most ethical group on the planet.” When you hear that, you have to understand that this is what they are talking about. It is utilitarian ethics gone wild. And you can see why this is David Miscavige’s favorite essay, the one that he has people study over and over, and even sends to celebrities. Scientologists are supposed to “push power to power,” that is, to support the power of David Miscavige no matter what. Here’s Hubbard again:

Real powers are developed by tight conspiracies of this kind pushing someone up in whose leadership they have faith…All failures to remain a power’s power are failures to contribute to the strength and longevity of the work, health and power of that power.

 
——————–

Posted by Tony Ortega on November 21, 2013 at 07:00

E-mail your tips and story ideas to tonyo94@gmail.com or follow us on Twitter. We post behind-the-scenes updates at our Facebook author page. Here at the Bunker we try to have a post up every morning at 7 AM Eastern (Noon GMT), and on some days we post an afternoon story at around 2 PM. After every new story we send out an alert to our e-mail list and our FB page.

 

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  • Funnybroad

    Pink legs

  • monkeyknickers

    This is what I don’t understand about these jackasses. So you acted badly and have a whole bunch of power. So . . . . what. Now what. Can you fly now? Nah. Does anybody really love you? Nah.

    I think I said all this in another post (sorry I have PregBrain) but to espouse this shit is like wearing a huge neon sign that says

    “I AM REALLY REALLY INSECURE AND HAVE MOMMY ISSUES”

    • Michael Leonard Tilse

      Replied to your email. LOL!

    • aquaclara

      He should have had to face you on the playground in third grade. Maybe the itty bitty baby issues would have been chased out of him by now!

      PS my doggy and hubby are both snoring on the sofa….so cute.

      • monkeyknickers

        Until YOU have to sleep that is. :)) In which case snoring is way WAY uncool. The Donor did it – Im way experienced. 🙂

        And nah . . . . sociopaths like that asshole don’t learn from . . . . well, SOCIETY. Thus the moniker. They’re just WRONG. And this is coming from a girl who believes in rehabilitating criminals full stop.

        These people can’t be done so. I actually sorta feel sorry for them.

        A LITTLE ONLY. 🙂

        (PS How are you, love?)

  • media_lush

    so this site puts Miscavige net worth at $50M…. wonder how they worked that out [lovely bit of irony with the ad placement]

    http://www.therichest.com/celebnetworth/celebrity-business/men/david-miscavige-net-worth/

    • Great White Clam

      Tidbits from your above link;

      ……David Miscavige Height 5′ 5″ (1.65 m)…..has been implicated in several unethical and illegal practices such as harassment of church critics and journalists, humiliation of the staff members of the church, infliction of physical harm to others as well as coercive fund raising activities……

      • tetloj

        Surely he’s not a skerrick over 5’3″

    • MaxSpaceman

      plus the comments eviscerate dave miscavage the only 53 year old punktard extant.

    • HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH at his height being prominently displayed

    • Great White Clam

      What is the explanation for what appear to be testicles on either side at
      the root of the “crossed out cross?” In the seal on the podium in the above image.

      • media_lush

        as a ‘Big Being’ Cruise needs extra space for all his throbbing thetans

    • gobsmackedby Scieno

      this confuses me. How can a head of a cherch have a personal net worth like that.? how does he declare what he does to earn it? genuine confusion in yet another wtf moment

  • Seannie5

    Read the synopsis for Ben Affleck and Matt Damon’s just announced new film

    “Sleeper” — set in noir universe where a few people are spontaneously developing superpowers — follows Holden Carver, a man who can absorb pain and pass it on to others, as he infiltrates a criminal organization on behalf of a law enforcement agency. His allegiances come into question, especially when he falls for the alluring killer, Miss Misery.

    Just.too.easy 😉

  • Anonymouse

    This just helps re-inforce what I have been saying for a while, to others that will listen, is that everything is Scn is done by Hubbard, and that Slappy has just taken some things to the next level. This just shows you why the Scn people can attack their detractors without remorse, because it is in the “scriptures”.

  • MaxSpaceman

    Jefferson’s interview so terrific- thank you. The self-serving Lafayette RH as in:

    On $cientology’s claims regarding health care. On healing cancer.

    “Quite simply, according to my father [ L Ron Hubbard Sr.], Cancer is basically cells that are dividing out of control, and so, according to my father, the problem is a sexual thing. Therefore the cancer is rooted in a sexual problem. If you have cancer, you are really screwed up on sex. So what would happen in this auditing –I [Lafayette Ronald Hubbard Jr. ] don’t know what it’s like now, but it’s probably just the same as in the old days –is that they would address a guy’s entire sex life. There was certainly an incredible preoccupation. In Dianetics and Scientology, about sex was a great means of control. You have complete control of someone if you have every detail of his sex life and fantasy life on record. ” [ John Travolta. Tom Cruize. et al. ]

    No wonder so many people have remarked how many people relatively young on OT levels are dying of cancer.

    • Seannie5

      OMG. What about kids who get cancer – how did he explain that? What a twisted individual

      • kemist

        You forget that kids are really old thetans in little bodies according to lrh.

        • Seannie5

          Very true. I wonder how long it would take for to be brainwashed into thinking my niece was a 2321 year old thetan…

    • Mooser

      “You have complete control of someone if you have every detail of his sex life and fantasy life on record.”

      Or in my case, one hell of a script for a screwball comedy. My shrink says there’s an ugly name for people like me, but he won’t tell me what it is until I catch up on the bill some.

  • Philit

    It has never been done that I know of, but what if the bullshit “church” Scientology forfeited it’s fake religious status (a total scam in my humble opinion given the way money is woven into it’s involvement) and switched to calling itself a for profit “business”, would it survive and would critics accept it and just forget about it and live and let live?

    • MaxSpaceman

      Was that a big ‘ah-hah’ moment for you Philit, when you thought of that?

      • Philit

        ? What? Are you trying to be insulting?

        I just think L Ron Hubbard made a mistake going the religious route and allowing himself to be positioned as a guru. Had he just called it a business and left his face out of it, it might have developed in a more interesting way and not the harmful bizarre train-wreck that it has become.

        • Bury_The_Nuts

          Do you consider the Mafia a business?

          • Philit

            No.

            • Bury_The_Nuts

              Well then all Scientology could be is the criminal organization it already is.
              Today’s post is a great example of why that is.

            • Mooser

              Why don’t we all agree to agree that he wasn’t a very nice person?

        • MaxSpaceman

          If you knew something of Lafayette R H’s massive psychopathology, you never would have postulated your point, as your 1st comment with your handle, pHilit. He thought too highly of himself to ever have considered your point. You would have known that. So- where are *you* coming from. Weird.

          • Philit

            In part, his hubris got the best of him. If he had found a way to keep the reins on his ego, the story might have developed differently. A bit too late for that obviously. Many men have fallen in this way. Many.

            • MaxSpaceman

              please. get a grip. Know your psychopath. Rein in his ego- geeeesh. This is one of the 20th Century’s greatest psychopaths. And you’re going to have him reign in his ego, and “see” that $cientology as a therapy business woulda been a big big financial success.

              Hubblard’s psychopathic destruction of other people’s lives eliminates any polyanna imagination of what might have been, if he had made a therapy business out of it, as you suggest. Tru-dat.

            • Philit

              My “imagination” is mine to do what I want with, not yours. And I don’t know anything about “psychopaths”.

            • MaxSpaceman

              Weird. You are.
              If you don’t know Lafayette Ronald H. as a psychopath, you don’t know jack about jack about The Cult of $cientology or Hubbard. Not jack, jack. Post that at an Indie Scientology site. It will resonate. Maybe.

            • Bury_The_Nuts

              I see where he is coming from as a point of discussion.
              I think Hubbard was a psychopath and he was not wired in a way that he could have reined himself in.
              Frankly, I shake my head everyday that he pulled off what he did.
              It could have been much worse.

            • Philit

              Many men fail and cause destruction and it is of interest to me what has people lose their way so dramatically. Men with the determination to follow through and cause so much suffering, would likely have caused just as much joy had they not gotten so lost.

            • Great White Clam

              Yes. Many serial murderers would have been good citizens, friends and family men if they would have dispensed with the murder habit.

            • MaxSpaceman

              Zaclky, GWC. That’s why pHilit must be a secret scientologist, indie or not. Or not.

            • Mooser

              “Yes. Many serial murderers would have been good citizens, friends and
              family men if they would have dispensed with the murder habit.”

              You want to know what’s guilty of serial murder? Milk! Makes it all soggy. That Snap-Crackle-and-Pop you hear is the cries of drowning rice grains. They’re like little human beans crying for help..

            • MaxSpaceman

              But, Hubblard didn’t “get lost.”
              Pathology is foreign to your thinking evidently, as you acknowledged in this thread.
              Sociopaths “dont get lost.”

            • Bury_The_Nuts

              It is interesting and absolutely fascinating.
              I have always been interested in the criminal mind because it doesn’t compute and is not in sync with my own.
              It is something I always strive to resolve….and obviously can’t.

              I do wonder what he would have been like had he been a normal, empathetic human being.

            • gobsmackedby Scieno

              I share your fascination for the criminal mind but I think he is beyond criminality – Miscabbage too. I’m a never-in but interested and somewhat informed. Nowhere do I see any evidence of empathy from him -not to man, woman, child, dog. I’m always reluctant to use the word ‘evil’ but he certainly is one bad news mofo. So much unnecessary pain in his imprint on society. Can’t wait to see him disgraced and debunked and consigned to history as an oddity in the footnotes.

            • Mooser

              Oh wait, she’s fascinated with the criminal mind, so I still have a chance.

            • gobsmackedby Scieno

              rather read about it than engage with it. keep the drama on stage and screen is my credo. real life is easier for me with a moral and ethical and civic-mind base. tried compromising that, doesn’t work for me.

            • Mooser

              “I have always been interested in the criminal mind because it doesn’t compute and is not in sync with my own.”

              One internet crush, over, gone, dead and buried (leaving, I don’t mind telling you, only the taste of mesquite ashes and pulled pork in the mouth.) Where is the Bonnie for this clod?

            • kemist

              At no point in his life was Hubbard interested in helping any other person than L. Ron Hubbard. And this includes his own wives and children.

              The “therapy” started as a money making scam. At that point it wasn’t very different from other quack therapies, or from the other stories he spun in order to make money. There are plenty of people who will spin stories for a quick buck. Hubbard was different from them in his obsession with absolute control.

              He never could have operated a lasting business. He betrayed every single partner he ever had, and held no regard for laws and regulations.

            • MaxSpaceman

              It’s way to benign a speculation for what has been wrought. imo.

              pHilit’s point is vacant.

            • Mooser

              Also remember, Hubbard got into more and more trouble, and responded with ever more desperate plans and fabrications, whether the problem was marital, financial or legal.

            • Sarah James

              Maybe not. I think he loved the control of people and not so much the people. Would you ever tell someone you loved not to take needed medication?

            • Philit

              Maybe he was born that way like the demented Chucky doll, but maybe he was not, maybe some where along the way he wound up loving to control people and not so much the people? There have been a few movies that displayed stories about that moment when people get fucked up and lose their way. Anyway, it is done, that ship sailed, the church is what it is and most agree that it is a failure.

              I am aware that this is a battle field for some here. No room for sissies speculating the way I just did. No probs.

              Fini.

            • Sarah James

              Just so you know,I gave you the up vote. Speculate all you want, as I do myself. I continue to look at the facts and encourage you to do the same. I do not let Hubbard off because he had a bad childhood or what ever he claimed. LRH knew how to play people. You got a problem? Lron can fix it.

            • Mooser

              . “There have been a few movies that displayed stories about that moment when people get fucked up and lose their way.”

              Fictional movies, made for profit, make it true? Sure, okay, you just keep looking at that movie screen to measure your reality.

            • 3feetback-of-COS

              His hubris started in his teens or before.

        • Mooser

          Philit, so you think the e-meter would have been recognized as a valid therapeutic tool?

    • You stopped thinking way to soon on that one. There are a lot more ramifications than them just paying taxes.

      • nottrue

        slamdunk

    • Sarah James

      I felt that way a long time ago, but when you explore the man (lrh) you see he was out to get everyone. He had no intention of building a better world. I feel for the people who still want to follow scientology but more and more I fear for them. LRH set them on a path that will harm them and David Miscavige will ruin them.

      • aquaclara

        Out to get everyone. Yep. Your comments are spot on. Thank you.

    • Sibs

      Do yourself a favor and read Bare-Faced Messiah.
      http://www.xenu.net/archive/books/bfm/bfmconte.htm

      Even if Scientology was a “business” as you suggest, you still wouldn’t make up for LRH’s evil intentions in the first place. This isn’t a guy who wanted to help people and let the money and power get to his head. He was always fucked up to begin with.

      • Philit

        like Chucky.

        • MaxSpaceman

          No. Not.!

          Like Jeffrey Dahmer. Like John Wayne Gaycy. Like Ted Bundy.
          Not in ‘overt killings.’ But history proves that Hubbard destroyed way many more lives than these men killed people. Like Stalin. Like Pol Pot.

          Thousands.

          A psychopathic human being.

          • sugarplumfairy

            and sociopathic..

            • Mooser

              His talent for engaging others into his plans was his greatest asset. Of course, near the end, he had to retreat to engaging pubescent girls (the Messengers).
              Scientology would be nothing without the hundreds of people who have made it work. Actually the figure might be closer to “tens”, but L Ron had a talent for engaging people.

            • Mooser

              And “Barefaced Messiah” is the “Know Man Knows My History” of Scientology. And that is high praise.

          • kemist

            The diagnosis that fits him best from the account of his life is antisocial personality disorder. The textbook description fits him like a glove, including several concomitant comorbidities such as narcissism, somatisation, substance abuse, ect.

    • kemist

      Calling itself a business would open it to accusations of fraud, false advertising, violation of labor laws, ect.

      So, no, I don’t think it would survive. Just the amount of tax they owe would make a huge dent in their assets. The lawsuits would take the rest.

    • media_lush

      it would fail almost immediately as it breaks just about every single labour law ever devised

    • edge

      Don’t think so. They’d have to start paying at least minimum wage to the Sea Org, who are now lucky if they make $50/week. That alone would be a huge jump in costs. The tax bills would be enormous too, especially on property. Imagine what the property tax bills would be on all those idle orgs.

      Remember that the special tax status benefits its wealthy members too. The “donations” the celebs and whales make to the church are tax deductible, making it a great way to move money around. Lose that ability, and many of the wealthy members would jump faster than you can say “Swiss bank account”

    • Douglas D. Douglas

      Churches have lost their religious status. It is not unprecedented.

    • tetloj

      Dianetics started as a business but Hubbs, with his greed and controlling shenanigans, drove that into the ground. So your question isn’t hypothetical. He tried and it went bust. Spectacularly.

  • stateofcircle

    Just wanted to say Hi to everyone!

    • MaxSpaceman

      State! Where ya’ been? Missed your roundness.

    • Captain Howdy

      Whadda ya know, whadda say? (Cagney)

  • media_lush

    I’m pretty sure this is what all Orgs will look like in a decade or so……

    http://m.imgur.com/a/NMauG

  • Lady Squash

    This sums up Hubbard’s quest for power perfectly, IMHO:

    “You need Power
    only when you want to do something harmful, otherwise Love is enough to get
    everything done.” Charley Chaplin

  • Funnybroad

    Look what I found when I zoomed in on the Super Power Building Photos!

    • IBBy

      omg… I had tea in my mouth when I refreshed!

  • Hobson’sChoice

    “…always push power in the direction of anyone on whose power you depend.”

    Dear Sea Org Member,

    Here is the truth: Don’t push power to COB! Don’t put yourself in the position of having to depend on Him. How???? Don’t sign a billion year contract. Don’t turn over your passport. Don’t give up your right for an education. Don’t give up your right to drive a car. Don’t give up your right to rent a P.O. Box. Don’t give up your right to maintain your own credit. Don’t give up your money. Don’t give up your families. Don’t give up everything that makes you an individual. Don’t, please Don’t, give him your mind, body and spirit! You realize that pushing the power to him – drains the power from you! Which in turn makes you dependable on him. And he will never know your name, never know your destroyed dreams and wishes… never know how tired you are, how lonely you are or how scared you are. He will never know because he doesn’t CARE! Say NO! Walk away. Read it backwards… this is what LRH was really saying: Ultimately you will always come to depend on the person who is made powerful by your power! DM is only powerful if you let him be!

  • IBBy

    I’ve written and deleted probably half a dozen comments on this post today. I had to read it several times to absorb all of the information.

    LRH’s way of thinking actually puts Scientology into a new level of clarity for me. It makes sense now why so many celebrities, and even average folks get hooked into it. Humans are egotists by nature, and love when someone else acknowledges their existence. Or they crave acknowledgement for any minute thing. Scientology is the perfect pyramid scheme of ego stroking. When you are new (or a celebrity) you’re fawned over. As you are regged for more money and cant pay, you are shamed but if you could just make this donation you’ll be back in the churches good graces. Level up in status and get mentioned in the emails that go out. This in turn guilts others into donating as well. See how the so and so’s upped their status? Look at all the attention theyre getting. Dont you want attention? Up your status today! And all of it goes up and up the pyramid to the top of the heap, Davey himself.

    I hope that made sense. I’m tired as hell and trying to articulate

    • Hobson’sChoice

      Yes, IBBy. It made sense. I, like you, have read this post half a dozen times today. I almost can’t absorb everything because I find it horrifying. LRH put so much thought into how he could enslave others. Somehow he had a genius of tapping into there very thing you are talking about – man’s contradictory nature of needing to have the individual ego stroked while being part of a collective at the same time. He figured out a way to take that very nature and turn it against the person. He spouted that Scientology is freedom but only if you willfully agree to be enslaved!

    • Johan

      Pyramid scheme of ego stroking. One of the best definitions of Scientology I’ve seen I a while….

    • Drat

      I believe it’s called keepen up with the Jonses.

  • Great White Clam

    How many scientologists does it take to change a lightbulb?

    • Hobson’sChoice

      Do clams have opposable thumbs?

    • Hobson’sChoice

      (tapping of foot, drumming of fingernails) So… how many?

    • IBBy

      oh GWC, do you have the “fucking rank” to ask such a question? 😉

      • Great White Clam

        lol

        Maybe i should ask how many lightbulbs does it take to change a scientologist?

        • Casabeca

          I love this one!

        • Rita Gregory

          Just one. As long as it’s not on when they sneak over the fence and escape.

      • GlibWog

        IBBY WINS by Miles.. ( OK game over..)

        hahahahhaha.. cause everyone else’s answers are L.A.M.E.

    • edge

      Four. One has to word clear and clay demo “changing a lightbulb”, one has to audit the lightbulb to see if it wants to be changed and if it will scream when removed, one shouts at it repeatedly to remove itself before actually removing it with his own hands, and finally one to record the stat so everyone is upstat for the week.

      Evidently GAT II streamlines things so it now takes three steps.

      • Great White Clam

        Nice. But what if the lightbulb is clear?

        • edge

          Clear is nice, but it’s not OT

          • Great White Clam

            Could be a non-interference area issue.

    • Great White Clam

      I didn’t see any really funny answers when I ran across the question. I thought that the J&Ders here might come up with an answer that was very funny.

      This one’s not too bad but meh;

      How many scientologists does it take to change a lightbulb?

      Only one but it costs $400,000 and he’s not allowed to talk to any of the unchanged lightbulbs.

      • Jo

        I love terrible jokes. Prob because I’m scared of trampolines, they make me feel jumpy.

        • GlibWog

          hahahaha OMG JOJO I am so tired and that hit my funny bone..

          I have never heard that before.. It is so Bad it is good!

    • Robert Eckert

      I’ll let you know for $50,000

    • 3feetback-of-COS

      A cleared clam is still a clam.

  • Charlotte

    Anybody here, can I ask a favour. A beautiful friend had to have her twins C-Sectioned a few hours ago at only 28 weeks due to complications. It isn’t looking good, All love, light & positive thoughts sent their way greatly appreciated. No need to respond to this.
    Thank you.

  • Aslansown

    I know it’s really late but I just saw this article on the TBT: Clearwater approves Scientology event that could draw 8,000.. [ed. note: 8,000???]

    No major roads to be closed…. hmmmm….

    http://www.tampabay.com/news/scientology/clearwater-approves-scientology-event-that-could-draw-8000/2153703

    • Casabeca

      Thx for sharing with the night owls ;).

      • Aslansown

        We get the scoop!

    • Great White Clam

      “There were no significant incidents or rule violations last weekend.”

      HAhahahahahahahahahahaha

      • Aslansown

        I know! (Except for that pesky wrap on the tent that they won’t be fined for.)

        • Graham

          And two oak trees illegally cut down beforehand.

          • Aslansown

            That too! 🙁

    • Graham

      Sadly the TBT is telling me I’ve had my 15 free looks, so can’t access any further without paying 🙂

      • Aslansown

        Me too. You just need to open an incognito window and voila — you’re in!

        • Graham

          I know nothing of this ‘incognito window’ of which you speak.

          • Aslansown

            What browser do you use? I use Chrome and in the upper right you can click to open an “incognito window” which doesn’t track history, etc. I don’t know if other browsers have something similar.

            • Graham

              Thanks. I too use Chrome so will try that.

              BTW, Aslan did you see that your daddy is in the news today? http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-25031909

            • Aslansown

              Thanks for linking to that! I had heard about it awhile ago from a friend I used to work with in a C.S. Lewis archive. “My daddy” — hee hee. His writings have really influenced my life. Mere Christianity was the first book I read after I became a Christian and The Screwtape Letters is still a favorite.

            • Graham

              Screwtape Letters: Book of the Week on BBC Radio 4: http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b03hng18

            • Aslansown

              That is wonderful! Some of my favorite passages — particularly the one about the mutual annoyance between the “patient” and his mother. That one hit close to home! 😉

          • GlibWog

            hahah.. I didn’t either Graham.. Jeeze.. I guess I’m still Voila.. ” OUT. ” ha

            • Jo

              TBT, not sure if its readable?

            • GlibWog

              Thanks Sweetie..Thanks Sweetie..Thanks Sweetie

      • aquaclara

        Thankfully, the article is posted. Same thing happens to me. When the articles are by Charlie Frago, google him, visit his twitter site, and click through his link. It has been working for me so far *keeping fingers crossed*

    • DodoTheLaser

      Yeah well, since we saw last week what 10,000 looks like…. 😉

      • Aslansown

        I know! 10,000 = 2,500 to 3,000 therefore 8,000 = 1,000 or so?

        I’d be willing to put up a few dollars to get Mike Rinder into a helicopter again for this next event. That was spectacular.

        • DodoTheLaser

          Yeah. Also, most likely all the outer org trainees were finally sent home.

          • Aslansown

            So probably mostly sea org and extras!! 😉

        • Graham

          I don’t think Helicopter Tech will work this time. I think the event is just going to be inside.

          If it wasn’t planned to be before the Rinder Air Force raid it will be now! The general consensus is that Slappy’s never going to risk another outside event ever again. It will be interesting to see how he handles the next Ideal Morgue opening.

          • Aslansown

            Well, the chopper is very loud and could hypothetically hover over the tent during the event…

      • Unex Skcus

        But did you count the thetans as well?

        • DodoTheLaser

          But you are not supposed to learn about body thetans until you hit OT 3… 😉

  • GlibWog

    Went to Rinder’s like I always do..to lurk..

    I do really like him.. but man some of his commenters Wow.. Still Worshiping the OLD MAN..

    I Know I know.. Indies and all, but YUCK. After reading this today I wasn’t in the mood to hear Hubs praised..

    ” It’s all DM’s fault..wah, wah, wah.. ” REALLLLLLLLY?

    READ HUBS WORDS.. JUST REEEEEEEEEEEAD THEM! Ok night..xoxo Baby

    • DodoTheLaser

      It’s ok.
      In the last 2 years, I’ve seen the transition of many posters from what you mentioned
      to “I am no longer a Scientologist”. It’s just a matter of time. Sleep tight.

      • Great White Clam

        Tick tock, tick tock………

      • Unex Skcus

        Indeed Dodo. I’ve really noticed how many more people have been ‘outing’ themselves on this blog in recent times… people who’ve been ‘lurking’, and then decide to share their (usually) painful experiences. It must be an enormous leap of faith for them to do that.

        • DodoTheLaser

          So true. And some go from Indies to “fuck it all”.

          Hence COB RTC doing his thing, trying to explain shit away by coming up with new shit.

          The whole fucking boat is beyond repair though.

    • tetloj

      Some of them though Baby – you just know that one day they will get out of the m…f…

      • GlibWog

        Yes.. One Day tetloj.. ” Tick Tock Davey.. ” ~ Tory

    • Sid_Snakey

      You just have to grin and bear it. They will probably wake up. The most important and difficult part is getting out of the cult and starting to think critically about it – even if it’s only about Miscarriage-Of-Justice. Once outside the direct control of the cult they can over time stretch their legs a bit more and visit other websites and read more critical books.
      Rinder’s blog is aimed at those still in – therefore he allows some critical comments but he does censor some others. As much as I hate censorship I think he is probably right to do so – teasing Scns out of the cult is like tickling a trout, one sudden move and they are off like a shot.
      You only have to look at Marty Rathbun – the guy is clearly almost completely finished with the subject, but it’s taken him almost a decade to get there – and that’s a guy who saw how vicious Hubbard could be and how nasty the inner workings of the cult were. Some of these indies think Hubbard is infallible, so it’s gonna take them a while.

      • GlibWog

        Great response Sid.. Thank you.. I was just in a crappy mood at that point! Baby

    • Mooser

      Remember, by appearing favorably disposed towards, or simply not critical of some of the Scientology “tech” (auditing, certain kinds of run-downs) Rinder can remain a friend to and receive information from Scientologists. Or maybe he intends to install himself in place of Miscavige. (and that would be, for better or worse, a huge improvement, and clean things up!) Who knows?

    • GrandEclectus

      I agree. All con men talk a good game, so if there is “something good” in LRH’s “work”, it’s because he stole it, renamed and re-branded it. A con man fills people up with enough truth to get them hooked (or at least, enough nonsense that makes sense to them), then you slip in the rest of the garbage. Works every time.

  • DodoTheLaser

    So, the Ideal Orgs will be showing GAT II and SP building videos to their public soon.
    I wonder if it will be mostly staff viewing the wonders and clapping to the screen…
    I bet we will have some reports very soon.

    • DodoTheLaser

      P.S. Apparently, this is going to be “one time only” showing.
      RTC really should watch “Burn After Reading” movie!

  • Jenny Blough

    This is quite enlightening. Most of its hold over minds comes from this
    idea that Scn is the most ethical group on the planet. But Mr. Hawkins
    spells out what ethical means to Scientologists: ruthless.

    • DodoTheLaser

      Yep. Once one buys the Clear and OT scam, buying scientology “ethics” is easy.

  • DodoTheLaser

    I really fucking hate this “Introduction to Scientology Ethics” book.
    That’s why you rarely see me comment about it.

    It’s full of bloviating, self-righteous, trivial shit.

    It’s gradually gets one from common sense right and wrong concepts to the entire mind fuck.

    Plus the stats, conditions, kangaroo courts and very telling historical references and rumblings.

    It’s probably the least favorite (besides “Mission Into Time”) and yet most mentioned book in scientology.

    Why? Because most people who joined scientology already had their ethics in and needed no rules.
    They just were not informed enough to recognize the scam of it all.

    • Great White Clam

      Damn, did you actually *like* History of Man?

      lol

      • DodoTheLaser

        Fuck no! Nor Mission Into Time, which is a different book, btw.

        It’s basically a book about how Hubbard “remembered” some of his semi-famous past lives,
        lovers and hidden treasures, fired up a sea org expedition to find the places and all, based on his sketches/clay demos and when after digging shit to no success the celebratory book was written about the whole failed operation.

        Yeah, I am not joking.

        • Great White Clam

          I’ve read them both. History of Man almost made me puke. I thought Mission Into Time was bad, but compared to History of Man, it was didn’t suck so much. Hymn of Asia was another one that came close to making me puke. Fuck. Now that I think back most all of that shit almost made me puke. LOfrikinL

          • DodoTheLaser

            Hymn Of Asia?! Oh Lord…. Yeah.
            Them three books are triple major fail.
            Even the current scientologists probably ignore those.

      • Now What

        What I am finding sad about this whole thing is that he (LRH) picked this stuff up from other books that deal the Theosophy. We love to make fun of body “thetans” but that was covered in Phaedrus, The Siphra Dzeniouta, the Popol Vuh and by Philo Judaeus and also by the Kalmucks back in Siberia a logn time ago. His old friend Jack Parson who reportedly invented solid rocket fuel and who had to do with the design and placement of the pentagon according to some Masonic design must have introduced LRH into this stuff. And it is this “stuff” that I now find more interesting than scio. It is like waking up in the rabbit hole like Alice. This is one of those “reality is stranger than fictions.”

  • DodoTheLaser

    On a brighter note, my friend HH posted this on ESMB:

    “There seems to be a kind of magic hidden within life that,
    when touched upon, makes things fall into place in a happy way.

    I think it is a good idea to always keep my head and heart open, looking for it.

    It visits more often that way.”

    Just how I feel too.

    <3 to all.

    • FromPolandWithLove

      Keeping head and heart open always works, gives you benefits, no matter if you belive in magic hidden within life or don’t belive. Open head and heart sometimes do miracles, even if you don’t belive in them

      • DodoTheLaser

        Very true. Thank you for your kindness.

        • FromPolandWithLove

          You’re welcome Dodo 🙂

  • DodoTheLaser

    Just because.

    • FromPolandWithLove

      woow, thanks

  • MaxSpaceman

    “I am not from this planet.” (LrH)

    My mission: “To bring tolerance and humanity to this planet.” Lafayette Ronald H.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g6sAQdHDjBI

    • DodoTheLaser

      Thanks for nothing, Ron “I’m not from this planet”.
      One thing I learned – is how elaborate con works.

  • Sid_Snakey

    I don’t know if anyone has already mentioned it but there is a big media story in the UK at the moment about three women who have escaped thirty years of “slavery” – some are calling them the Lambeth Slaves if you want to Google it.
    It would appear the women were free to come and go to a limited extent, and could use the phone from time to time, but had been manipulated in some way to remain in domestic slavery. In the end they watched some TV programmes which helped them realise they were in fact slaves, and phoned a charity to help them escape, although no physical escape was required, they were just terrified of leaving. The local police were understanding of the situation and helped with the “escape”.
    This has been a big story in the UK all week. People can’t understand how someone could be domestically enslaved for so long, right under the noses of the local residents. The charity and the police were concerned that even if they “rescued” these people, that given their level of “brainwashing” they might ask to go back. However, they have had access to skilled counsellors and with the help of the experienced charity workers they are safe and well and the two people who had held them against their will have been arrested.
    I’ve been shaking my head at all this, given the HUNDREDS in the same situation in the Sea Org, who are deliberately refused access to the real world so they never have the cognition that they are domestic slaves.

    • GrandEclectus

      It’s collective amnesia on this issue. Why do we have to go through this every time this happens?
      This is a known phenomenon.
      There are many cases of this. Women being held in basements for many years, kidnapped as children. They are raped, abused, even bear children, and told that the outside world is really bad. They are under “undue influence”. It’s horrific, but it’s real.

  • MaxSpaceman

    Furthering Eller H’s “bringing tolerance and humanity to this planet” is protege Davey MissCabbage

  • NeverIn

    Once again worse than I thought.

  • Nat-lificent

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