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Dianetics Has No Patience for ESP or Telepathy — That’s Pseudoscience!

ESPWelcome to our ongoing project, where we blog a 1950 first edition of Scientology’s bible, Dianetics, with the help of ex-Scientologist, lawyer, and author Vance Woodward. Go here for the first post in the series.

Vance, we’ve reached another marathon chapter in this book, “Mechanisms and Aspects of Therapy.”

We were surprised to see that this chapter begins with a few paragraphs about extra-sensory perception — ESP. But in fact, Hubbard only brings it up in order to debunk it, in particular the person who says he can remember his time in the fetus with views from outside his mother’s body.

“There is the patient in the womb and yet he can ‘see’ outside….This prenatal ESP does not in fact exist,” Hubbard writes. “It has been proven, after considerable test, that whenever the returned pre-clear thinks he sees something, the scenery itself is mentioned in the engrams and gives him an imaginary picture of it. There is no prenatal ESP, in other words.”

After trashing ESP, Hubbard then calls telepathy “rainbow chasing,” which we found really precious.

Anyway, let’s push on. We also found interesting this passage about life in the womb…

It is very noisy in the womb….Intestinal squeaks and groans, flowing water, belches, flatulation and other body activities of the mother produce continual sound. It is also very tight in later prenatal life….When mother takes quinine a high ringing noise may come into being in the foetal ears as well as her own — a ringing which will carry through a person’s whole life. Mother gets morning sickness, has hiccoughs and gets colds, coughs and sneezes. This is prenatal life. The only reason anybody “wanted” to “return to the womb” was because somebody hit mother and yelled “Come back here!” so the person does.

Vance, we’re nearing the later stages of this book. As you’re reading it after having left the church, what are some of the biggest revelations you’ve had about it?

VANCE: Yeah, I’ve had a few revelations … or none, depending on who’s counting. I’m struck by how random the information is. It’s like Hubbard typed out a stream of consciousness and never gave a second thought to editing. And yet he promoted Dianetics to best-seller status. It’s an amazing feat of self-promotion … or mass stupidity.

Incidentally, Hubbard also pooh-poohed the notion of past lives early on. In a contemporaneous lecture, he mentioned a preclear that had dreamed up a past-life engram about being eaten by a saber-toothed cat. Hubbard dismissed this as a false memory and emphasized the point by claiming (incorrectly) that saber-toothed cats went extinct before humans showed up. Hubbard changed his mind about past lives later on, of course. Cash trumps coherence in Scientology.

One thing from this chapter that has stayed with me is the notion that there are two modes of thought: black and white vs. graduated. As Hubbard obscurely puts it, “the analytical mind computes in differences,” and “the reactive mind computes in identities.” Yes, I’m sure plenty of philosophers have articulated this notion better. It just happened to be my first exposure to the concept that absolutism is dumb and textured thought is intelligent. But I’m bringing this up mostly to show how Scientologists interact with Hubbard’s dreck. I would willingly slog through pages of crap to find one or two precious nuggets of enlightenment. I somehow convinced myself that it was worth the expedition.

That brings me to another revelation: I sometimes feel ashamed at all the time and money I wasted on Scientology. I especially felt it when I first left. I reckon the threat of humiliation is what keeps a lot of people stuck in it.

THE BUNKER: Well, we can, at times, see the seductive lure of this stuff. Later in this chapter, Hubbard confidently talks about different techniques to deal with difficult patients. We have to admit, it can sound like the advice of a very competent practitioner discussing material that is not controversial.

But then, it’s always the examples that break that spell.

We get another rather amazing one here, and it’s lengthy. We’ll try to condense it.

A patient’s case was hung up on the word “hear,” and it wasn’t obvious what incident in the person’s past was causing the blockage. It turned out that the situation the person was “remembering” occurred when he was in his mother’s womb, and his father was violently kneeling on her stomach, causing the patient to experience a “somatic.” (In other words, dad’s knee on mom’s stomach could be felt — in the form of pain — by the zygote inside her.)

Hubbard tells us this was occurring three days after the blastocyst had been conceived.

Just to set the scene again, we have a grown man in a (don’t-call-it-hypnotic) reverie describing what his father was yelling at his mother as he was attacking her while the patient was a two-day-old zygote inside her, but which was faithfully recorded by the zygote’s reactive mind for recall decades later. Here’s some of what the zygote heard…

FATHER: “Stay here! Stay down, damn you, you bitch! I’m going to kill you this time. I said I would and I will. Take that! (Intensified somatic as his knee ground into the mother’s abdomen) You better start screaming. Go on. Scream for mercy!….I’m going to punish you and God is going to punish you! I’m going to rape you! I’m going to stick it into you and tear you! When I tell you to do something you’ve got to do it!….You are dirty and diseased! God’s punished you and now I’m going to punish you! (Coitus somatic begins, very violent, further injuring child) You’ve got something terrible in your past. You think you’ve got to be mean to me! You try to make me feel like nothing! You’re the one that’s nothing! Take it, take it!”

Hubbard claims in a footnote that the father turned out to be a bank president, and after the son confronted him with this information, he went apoplectic. But then Dad got some auditing, and everything turned out well.

We almost wish Hubbard would actually spell out that scene, with Son telling Dad how he’d learned that Dad had said such things to Mom all those years ago.

Well, color us skeptical.

Can you see what we mean, Vance, about the examples breaking the spell of Hubbard’s passages about technique and expertise?

VANCE: Now, definitely, I can see how these examples wreck the illusion. But back when I was a believer, I didn’t give it a second thought. Maybe I unconsciously chalked this type of dialogue up to the nature of the times. Many old television shows, for example, suffer a similar problem: bizarre dialogue in unreal complete sentences. So, was this Hubbard’s bad fiction or his patients? It didn’t even occur to me to ask that question. Either way, it didn’t faze me. The theory sounded good, the book was a best seller, and all sorts of people at the Church claimed this would benefit me.

My dad (and many others) used to tell me that Dianetics and Scientology were nothing more than hype. And I’d counter that it was impossible for them to be mere hype considering “so many people” were doing it. I mean, how could “so many people” be fooled. *face palm* Well … oops.

About the scene of the child and his banker father, that’s an example of Hubbard’s pervasive obscurity or, as I like to call it, his silver-tongued doublespeak. Does it mean the banker/father blanched and admitted the “truth”? Or does it mean that he, being stunned by the wild imaginings that auditing can produce, decided to try some himself? It wouldn’t be the first time a child got a parent to try some drugs.

THE BUNKER: We’ll stay with this chapter next week, but the end of the book is in sight. When we’re finished with Dianetics, we’d like to move on to A History of Man. Does anyone out there have an early edition of it that we could use? Drop us a line.

Next week — This is Your Dianetics on Drugs: The Nitrous Engram

 
——————–

Nevada Blows Chance to Regulate Narconon

Our man in Las Vegas, Nathan Baca, updates us on that state’s opportunity to introduce some oversight of Scientology’s drug rehab facility there…

SB501, the bill pushed by Nevada State Health employees to allow them to inspect Narconon Caliente, failed to pass the legislature before the mandated 120-day session.

This was due to poor bill scheduling on the part of State Senate Finance Chair Debbie Smith (Debbie.Smith@sen.state.nv.us), who let the bill languish in her committee for weeks, and State Senate Majority Leader Mo Denis (Moises.Denis@sen.state.nv.us), who failed to get the bill on the Senate Floor until just a few hours left on the last day of session.

Assembly Speaker Marilyn Kirkpatrick (Marilyn.Kirkpatrick@asm.state.nv.us) didn’t receive the bill until 30 minutes before the midnight deadline this Monday. She tried a last-ditch attempt to move the bill to committee as required, but ran out of time.

Therefore, Narconon Caliente will continue to run un-licensed in Nevada for another 2 years. There was no organized opposition to the bill. Given the weakness of the state’s legislative system, it simply wasn’t seen as a priority. Instead, there was State Senate debate on whether we should have a state dog.

 
——————–

Posted by Tony Ortega on June 6, 2013 at 07:00

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  • EnthralledObserver

    *rolls eyes* At ALL of it. Bloody Hubbard and stupid Dianetics… and omg, politicians… for real? ffs

  • Observer

    Hubbard’s horrifying dialog in this one really shows what a twisted, diseased mind he had. Yeah, there are people in this world who are that brutal (though I refuse to believe anyone would use that weird, stilted speech), but what kind of person just pulls that crap out out of his head and thinks it’s brilliant?

    I wonder if Debbie Smith and Mo Denis have been safepointed. That whole thing smells fishy.

    • TheHoleDoesNotExist

      Bankers and collectors were forever chasing after Hubbard for his swindling ways. After a while, you’ll notice his “example people” were ones he was harming at the time for real Or his paranoia voices told him were chasing him. So bankers, financial institutions were a constant example throughout his ramblings. Women of many categories (moms, wives, hookers, teachers, nurses) were a pretty consistent and terrifying bunch too. And of course there was a psychiatrist lurking around every other page or chapter. All therapists were crazy evil, all except for Dr. Hubbard.

    • EnthralledObserver

      Hubbard’s sexual fantasies… just sayin’

      • Observer

        I have no doubt. And please never use “Hubbard” and “sexual” in the same sentence again. I could feel that engram pop into existence, and it burns!

        • EnthralledObserver

          “it burns!”
          Along with Hubbard’s urinary tract… can anyone say STD?…haha!
          EDIT: Ooops… I think I just made another one for ya…

          • Observer

            If I may quote SPF: AAAAAGGGGHHHHHH!

        • FistOfXenu

          I feel like that too Obs. But we can’t avoid it. I think the sicko must’ve lived in his own little world of sex fantasies since he was a kid. He was obsessed with his balls and with masturbation and his inadequacies his whole life. And then he invented a cult so he could pretend he’s the only normal person in the world and make everybody else agree.

      • Sherbet

        That’s exactly what I was thinking, Enthralled. I could imagine (and wish I hadn’t!) the big fraud masturbating to that fantasy of his.

        And another mother gets an imaginary beating. What a sick man he was.

        • Captain Howdy

          He was the Marquis de Fraud, whaddya expect?

          • Sherbet

            That’s beautiful, Howdy! Love it!

          • Missionary Kid

            That just went on the list I’ve been compiling:

            Liar Ron Humptydumpty
            Liar Ron Humpty
            L. Con Hubbard
            Hubtard
            Liar Ron Humbug
            Tubbard
            Marquis de Fraud

            • Captain Howdy

              Nice!

            • Missionary Kid

              I’m slowly collecting terms and phrases that amuse me about $cientology. (Sounds macabre, doesn’t it?) That was one of the best.

        • Gerard Plourde

          Does anyone know if Hubbard’s butcher paper output included pornography? He seems to have hacked at just about everything else.

          • Phil McKraken

            Just the thought of it boggles the mind. I’d love/hate to read erotica with characters speaking in Hubbie’s bizzaro prose.

            “My, oh, my, that’s big. This is too large to be borne.”

            • Gerard Plourde

              We can all agree that he’s no D.H. Lawrence or James Joyce.

            • Sherbet

              Or even Barbara Cartland.

            • Sherbet

              Wait, Phil. That’s EXACTLY what I said on my wedding night.

            • Missionary Kid

              I’ve been posting that his style of writing hearkened back to the 30s, and just realized that a particularly good example of it is his dialog. Before, I was just thinking of his descriptive phrases.

            • FistOfXenu

              You better watch out Phil. That sounds too much like him. You sure you aren’t infected with the Ron disease? ๐Ÿ˜›

            • Poison Ivy

              Your dialogue is about 100% better than Hubbard’s.

            • Phil McKraken

              Terrific. I might be able to develop a profitable sideline writing Hubbardesque erotica, with perhaps a character speaking (moaning and groaning) in Dan Shermanese.

            • Missionary Kid

              Only in porno movies is the dialog that bad, so you’ve got your work cut out for you.

            • grundoon

              You could give readings, lock the exits, and make the audience pay to get out. Scientologists love this kind of thing.

            • ParticleMom

              Almost had a spit-take there!

          • Sherbet

            Never thought of that GP, but it’s a good question. He would have written under an assumed name, of course.

          • FistOfXenu

            What a scary idea. You mean there could be 100 books out there written with pseudonyms like Captain “Longhorn” Studd and titles like “The Longest Bone of All”? And all really by our very own Liar Ron Humbug? And all with ridiculous stories like these sadistic women-hating tales he told in his cult books?

            I just had a nasty thought. They’re gonna include stories about sex with aliens aren’t they?

            • Sherbet

              Yup, with ovipositors, and a new alien race is born. How original.

            • Gerard Plourde

              I don’t know if sex with aliens would have been a popular subject in the 50’s. Most of the aliens back then were thinly veiled stand-ins for communists attempting to destroy the American Way of Life.

          • elar aitch

            Hmmmm…..wondering what his porn writer nom de plume could have been?

    • FistOfXenu

      The way he writes dialog sounds like somebody that grew up never hearing people talk to each other. either that or his parents were the freakiest people in the world.

      • Xenu, Lord of Kobol

        Why can’t it be both?

        • FistOfXenu

          You’re right. And I already decided his parents were freaks, so yeah, both.

      • Missionary Kid

        Hubbard writes dialog the way it was written in the 30s. Watch some of the early talkies.

  • jensting

    I guess the ones that become victims of the mind-fuck perpetrated by the criminal organisation known as the “church” of $cientology after reading “book one” are those who have the bad luck to not throw the book away or ask themselves “which is the most lkely explanation: that no-one else thought of this and that Hubbard is speaking the literal turth throught our it’s all made-up hooey?”

    Anyway, can’t seem to find Vance’s book on $cientology at his site – is that intentional?

    Oh, and it might be unkind to observe that some dogs would do a better job of herding bills out of committees and into the Senate on time than the actual politicians, but R E A L L Y ?

    • juliusstahl

      It is a real shame that Vance’s book is no longer available. I contacted him and he said he is moving on with his life, and has therefore made the book unavailable and taken down his posts on Scientology.

      This is understandable but also a great loss since his memoir has insights others don’t, particularly because he uniquely approaches Scientology as an addiction.

      I get the sense, though, that he is open to the possibility of making the book available again so I think it is worth contacting him and encouraging him to do so.

      • jensting

        Of course he is free to feel that getting rid of the book is part of moving on, I just agree that it’s a shame he doesn’t leave it up and that the notion of addiction as an eleemnt of cult membership was fascinating.

  • Truthiwant

    I have this edition, Tony, and you’re welcome to have it. It’s not an early edition, though. I think it’s the one with the semicolons!
    Still got its original celophane wrap. Proof that I have not been burning the midnight oil secretly reading Hubbard!

    • Sherbet

      Howdy, this prehistoric glutton stole your turkey leg.

      • Captain Howdy

        That Piltdown Man is one mean motherfucker!

        Pardon my french.

        • Sherbet

          “Shut your mouth!” (Get it? Get it?)

          • Captain Howdy

            “But I’m talkin’ about Piltdown Man”

            • Sherbet

              Laughing out loud — really loudly.

            • FistOfXenu

              Damn, I did miss the Bunker and all you guys. ๐Ÿ™‚

            • Captain Howdy

              We miss you. What’s the hold up?

            • FistOfXenu

              That’s when somebody points a gun at somebody else and demands all their money, but that’s not important now.

            • Poison Ivy

              I got that.

            • FistOfXenu

              ๐Ÿ˜€ Then it was for you.

  • TheHoleDoesNotExist

    Nevada already has a state dog (and sorry, I had first editions of a lot of garbage that magically ended up in the garbage).

    [IMG]http://i40.tinypic.com/2wp1nvl.jpg[/IMG]

    • Captain Howdy

      Actually, Nevada doesn’t have a state dog, and this bill is trying to make the Blue Weimaraner the state dog. This seems like a fitting choice for the Nevada politicians as the Weimaraner is considered one of the dumbest breeds.

      • TheHoleDoesNotExist

        awww, cutesy. and yes I know they don’t Really have one yet. Joking before coffee. I fail. . Also, Nevada doesn’t deserve to have dogs (I’m a dog person).

        Nevada should just make this their state symbol official. We all know what it is:

        [IMG]http://i42.tinypic.com/el89w3.jpg[/IMG]

        • Captain Howdy

          Yea, sperm + whales (with moolah) pretty much sums up Nevada.

          • Poison Ivy

            It’s an insult to whales, among the most intelligent and compassionate being on the planet, to use them in reference to Scientology.

      • Espiando

        A dog with “blue” in the breed name in a state that desperately wants to stay red, and a nice reminder of the Weimar Republic to boot. Good work, Nevada.

      • stillgrace

        That’s the breed that jumped up on the judge during the Mayflower in the movie “Best of Show”! Of course, the dog’s owners were batshit crazy, and people to completely avoid.

        The mismanagement of the Nevada bill makes me see RED! I have decided to give Kerry Kennedy a break tomorrow, and instead write STRONGLY WORDED emails to the Nevada maroons who screwed up royally.

        • Captain Howdy

          I worked for a guy who had a Weimaraner and he was a nice dog, but every time I would try to play fetch with him he would immediately lose sight of whatever I had thrown, and he would turn around and give me the “which way did it go” look.

          Give ’em Hell, Grace.

    • Sherbet

      Another patient of Hubbard’s dentist.

    • Zana

      Maybe I can sell them my copy of the basics? Or how about the $7,500 ACC Volumes. Jeez… I as delusional!

      • Missionary Kid

        It’s a wonder how Co$ just keeps repackaging all of it’s crap and reselling it.

        They copyright everything, and make sure it isn’t in digital form. Their printing costs are low, and the whole Co$ is the marketing arm. If everything was put together, videos, audio recordings, etc., a complete set of DVDs would cost all of, to be generous, $30.

        There’s one hell of a profit margin for selling a false prophet.

  • MO Mom

    Well, I hope that state dog doesn’t come back to bite them in the ass.

    • Sidney18511

      And just think MO Mom, thoses arses make over 170 THOUSAND $ a year. What am F-in waste.

      • MO Mom

        My great-grandfather was in the Iowa state legislature back in the early 1900s. He felt it was their DUTY to make the state better and safer for its residents. How times have changed. I’m sure he would be appalled and ashamed.

        • Gerard Plourde

          Nevada, like Florida, has a part-time legislature, based on the belief that it was better to have people who weren’t professional politicians (think Cincinnatus returning to his plow). As laudable as the thought is, the result in practice often is sloppy procedure and legislation that is written by lobbyists (Florida is a particular offender in this regard).

          • Spackle Motion

            Having a part time legislature is something that watchdog groups are pushing for in California, which has become a joke, one party state. You wouldn’t believe the crap I see from them that is so outrageous, that I cannot believe people keep electing them.

            • Gerard Plourde

              Truly, democracy is the worst form of government except all the others that have been tried. (Nod of the head to Winston Churchill)

    • Zana

      I hope the state dog DOES come back and bites them in the ass. They deserve it.

  • Sidney18511

    I can’t believe that NN slipped through the cracks. Could be something hinky or just your typical stupid politicians. Either way, peoples lives are now in danger. Let’s hope that the truth about NN becomes well known enough so that NO ONE enrolls.

    • TheHoleDoesNotExist

      Um, it’s Nevada.

    • Captain Howdy

      Something hinky in a state that was put on the map by a jewish gangster? Oy vey!

  • Douglas D. Douglas

    Well I certainly don’t need ESP to know the real source of all these dialogues…!

  • EnthralledObserver

    And… oddly enough… ESP is the one skill, ability (talent) I seem to have a little of. My only ‘magical’ belief, so to speak. And Hubbard, of all people, debunks it???

    • Observer

      You can’t debunk something using bunk. I’m pretty sure that’s a scientific law.

      • EnthralledObserver

        You have a point… and anyway… I just KNOW… and what’s true for me, is true for me.

    • SciWatcher

      He had to debunk it. If ESP and telepathy were real, whoever possessed the ability would know he was full of shit!

      • Phil McKraken

        LOL! You don’t have to have special powers to discern that!

        But seriously, Hubbard would have to think ESP was real to debunk it for that reason, wouldn’t he? And if he thought it was real, why would he deny it, given all the equally absurd BS he was making up and claiming was real? Not trying to defend the old loon’s logic here, but your theory just doesn’t add up.

      • FistOfXenu

        If they were real you wouldn’t need to buy a e-meter at a few grand a time and then replace it every time they upgrade the Magick inside.

      • Missionary Kid

        And someone, if they just read carefully without all of the acolytes reverence would have noticed that without any special powers.

        The problem is, people read his crap when they were pre-conditioned.

  • Sunny Sands

    Vance is on target I believe when he says fear of humiliation keeps a lot of people in. Also appreciate his candor in saying he sometimes feels ashamed at the time and money spent on scn. It shows strength of character and fundamental honesty to not only publicly admit a change of heart, but also to give these interviews and write a book. Thank you, Vance.

    • Zana

      Yes, I think that fear of humiliation runs a lot of them. Also the fact that they’ve already paid so much money and laid out so much time and effort… it’s hard for them to admit even to themselves that it was all a giant fiasco. Then where will they be…when they discover that they’ve wasted the best years of their life following a goofy guy with a huge boil on his forehead, bad teeth, who hates women and writes bad fiction.

      I loved Vance’s book. Glad I got a Kindle copy before he moved on.

      • FistOfXenu

        We can call it bad fiction but look at $cientarCONon. Even worse fiction and terrible writing and yet people die from believing it.

        Edit: I forgot I was gonna say how ironic it is to me that when he called his horseshit fiction it got pulped but when he called it scientific fact he got rich and powerful. Maybe we should be glad he didn’t do that with his ridiculous stories about the French foreign legion or cowboys.

        • Missionary Kid

          That’s sad and tragic, and makes me hate Co$ and the Hub all the more.

  • Douglas D. Douglas

    Considering Hubbard’s first two marriages (to the “nagging” Polly and the “psychotic” Sarah), it should be no surprise that he would assume this is the way men talk to their pregnant wives.

    I do wonder how Mary Sue managed through all this. Honestly, if you were married to the man that wrote and published this, would you feel safe carrying four pregnancies to term? We know that Mary Sue was one tough cookie, but there’s got to be a limit.

    • Sunny Sands

      Mary Sue met 40 year old Hubbard when she was 20 years old. She soon became involved with him, then pregnant, then married. Her family must have been astonished since she had a university degree and planned to go into petroleum research. I wonder if she was trying to save face by staying with him.

      • Poison Ivy

        I’d venture she fell for his charisma (come on, we know he had it during his hey day) and probably the aura of money and power around him. She seemed to like the power, even though she wasn’t as openly abusive of it as he and some of his upper minions.

    • Observer

      I wonder how Mary Sue managed to find him attractive enough to get involved with in the first place.

      • sugarplumfairy

        In the men department, smart women can be pretty darn stupid..

        • Missionary Kid

          And vice versa.

        • Poison Ivy

          I can vouch for that. In my past life, anyway. ๐Ÿ˜‰

      • Douglas D. Douglas

        Sometimes love is deaf, dumb, AND blind.

    • EnthralledObserver

      My question is: How many mini Hubbards DIDN’T make it to birth…???

      • George Layton

        One to few?

        • EnthralledObserver

          How many different ‘examples’ does Hubbard give…?? Maybe we should count them and that might give us a clue…
          Oh, yes… one too few in the previous generation – I get ya… haha!

  • John P.

    Cash trumps coherence in Scientology.

    This is the essence of the cult distilled brilliantly into five simple words. I haven’t heard it better from anyone else. Thanks, Vance!

    • jensting

      Coherence is for small beings!

    • OTVIIIisGrrr8!

      John P., Scientology is very coherent assuming one does not go past a word they do not understand.

      Thus, it becomes easy for the trained auditor to spot the fact that Vance and Tony are are displaying classic M/U phenomena.

      In order to handle wogs and their M/U’s, we in RTC are engaging in a bold social experiment to explain Scientology via the art of Christian cartoonist Jack Chick:

      http://otviiiisgrrr8.com/2013/06/06/scientology-as-understood-by-christian-artist-jack-chick-part-1/

      • Captain Howdy

        Jack Chick is definitely the man to make sense of scientology.

        • Gerard Plourde

          It may indicate how infinitesimal Scientology’s impact on the world at large is that it never drew his attention. Not to downplay its evil.

      • Observer

        omg … as much as it pains me, I have to hand it to you in RTC. That is Utterly. Brilliant.

        • Exterrier

          Hey Obs. I am using an old post to suggest something to you, to add to your busy day.
          Maybe have a look at images for The Incredible Shrinking Man, which are quite fun. And I say that because Davey seems to be shortening his speeches, turning down his volume, and generally becoming a more paranoid and smaller Pope or Ecllesiastic leader all the time…and his cult is shrinking too. This last incident with Rinder in a helicopter shutting him down really brought that out to me.

      • grundoon

        Awesome!

        Midwest Mom even nominated it for an SP Award!
        (MM, we miss you!)

  • Espiando

    Nevada first, I guess…three words: “atomic bomb tests”. Too bad that they didn’t read All About Radiation in order to clear up the genetic damage they obviously have. Just keep up the pressure, Nate. Someday, it will happen.

    “I’m going to stick it in you and tear you”…this guy’s either got one helluva self-image or has absolutely zero understanding of female anatomy (well, we know that Hubbard has both, so we have to take into account the “source”). Either that, or he’s hung like John Holmes’ mule.

    Another hour or so of upstat before Dickie comes…

    • grundoon

      When L. Ron Hubbard wants to “stick it in you,” maybe he doesn’t mean “penis” like a normal person.

      • FistOfXenu

        That makes me have some unpleasant images, grundoon. I think I’ll just go and heave my insides out. ๐Ÿ˜ฎ

        • grundoon

          Scientology can help you with that!

  • MarionDee

    What really strikes me is Hubbard’s deep-seated fear of women–especially their bodies.

    • SciWatcher

      Yeah, the movie “Teeth” is his worst nightmare.

      • Poison Ivy

        Ouch.

  • Ciru

    Yay! A History of Man. From what I’ve heard about it, it sounds like comedy gold.

    • BosonStark

      If you laugh at the intro when it says, “a coldblooded and factual account of your last sixty trillion years,” Scientology can help you with that. They’ll train you not to joke about anything having to do with Sciloontology, the Sciloons, or Dr. Hubtard.

      • grundoon

        It has been proven, after considerable test. Considerable!

      • Missionary Kid

        Our friend from Greece, Theo, would nod his head and tell us that it’s all scientific.

  • Sherbet

    WTG, Smith and Denis, who, obviously, have no idea what’s at stake or what’s going on at other narconon facilities in the country.

    • ze moo

      Nevada won’t do anything until their death toll gets higher. This has the timing of well planned brush off.

  • Gerard Plourde

    “Iโ€™m struck by how random the information is. Itโ€™s like Hubbard typed out a stream of consciousness and never gave a second thought to editing. And yet he promoted Dianetics to best-seller status.”

    As C.S. Lewis once observed, one would be greatly misled in thinking that the Bible is widely read basing their conjecture on Bible sales. Or as George Carlin once put it – “Ever notice that every motel room has a Bible? Next time you’re on the highway at night and pass a motel think of all those couples in there studying the Bible.”

    • Zana

      Hilarious! I’m still laughing. Thank you.

    • juliusstahl

      lulz

  • BosonStark

    I still marvel over the lack of coherence in Dianutty, and how people wade through the nonsense for the nuggets as Vance did. And some think, “This is it!” I guess their feelings are based just on those bits.

    Freud’s books are very readable. But even in the 60s, people who read Freud understood it as theory, which has been updated by new theories. Talk about wide acceptance though — some of Freud’s terminology and ideas permeated Western culture and became part of how we understand ourselves and society. Hubbard’s ideas did not. His cult grew, and to some that seems proof enough that his ideas were valid.

    Preposterously, various loons from Marty Rathbun to Brian Culkin have claimed that Hubbard was wise and way ahead of his time, on so many important observations and practices in an “all the answers” kind of way. They ignore that Hubbard was pulling these ideas from magazine articles or books he was reading, to impress his followers that he had this great mind. Why someone should fall for the horseshit in Dianutty today, is harder than ever for me to imagine.

    To read Hubbard’s crap, and all the times he said, “factual…proved,” it sounds like satire. I suppose people identify the outsider in themselves with the outsider that Hubbard was and then together that forms the group of “contrarians” which Wright refers to from Paul Haggis’s experience and thinking — how Haggis’s convictions were strengthened by criticism and the feeling of it being a special group that was a personal choice. For Haggis, of course it was more of a personal choice, than for some kid recruited into the Sea Org.

    • Sherbet

      I imagine a scenario right out of The Master, with lrh’s female acolytes inviting him into their homes, all agog at the privilege of having the great philosopher right there in the same room, as they dip into their purses and help fund dissemination of the new “science.” And there in the new science are these sickening, simplistic fantasies about battered wives, brutal husbands, and babies emotionally damaged in the womb. Why these women didn’t rise up in rebellion at lrh’s misogyny is beyond me, except that I know they were a product of their times. They were probably more flattered than horrified.

      • Zana

        You’re right. Why did women in that era do that? The man was king. And the bigger the blow-hard the more some women seemed to be flattered by his attention. That was the era of Father Knows Best. Have you seen some of the advertisements from that era? Take a look at some of these print ads from the 50s. Take a look at these and cringe or laugh.

        http://www.businesspundit.com/10-most-sexist-print-ads-from-the-1950s/

        LRH was a huckster of his times.

        • Sherbet

          Wow, Zana, those ads are unbelievable!

          • Zana

            Yep. Amazing. Ad agencies would be sued for them today. My mother grew up in that environment and went along with it all. That’s why I determined that I would never marry. Love the man and send him home… I don’t have to cook for him and he doesn’t have to buy me a house. ๐Ÿ™‚

            • Missionary Kid

              What if he cooks for you? ๐Ÿ˜‰

            • Imelda Marcos

              Love him really well. ๐Ÿ˜‰

            • Missionary Kid

              I’m a male, and was a single parent with my oldest son for 4 1/2 years. I’m proud of the fact that after he got married, my daughter in law thanked me for teaching him to cook. We had a deal that when I cooked, he cleaned up, and vice versa. He loved having me clean up. I taught him stuff when he was cooking, and apparently he paid attention.

              I don’t have the flair for presentation that most women have. I’m more of a “come and get it” kind of cook.

              My mother’s saying was, “If you can read, you can cook.” What she didn’t say was that having to eat the results quickly improves it. To start with, I learned a fair amount because my mom had me help her in the kitchen.

              Parents, you’re handicapping your kids if you don’t teach them how to cook.

            • John P.

              You’re also making your kids richer. Here’s a Global Capitalism HQ perspective: the average check at a Five Guys for a burger, fries and a large drink is about $12. Typical restaurant food cost is usually about 25% of sales, maybe a little more. So you’re paying $12 for food that costs about $3. And if you jump in the car, drive six miles round trip and wait in line for 20 minutes (and let’s say you make $60,000 per year or $30 per hour), then that $3 worth of ingredients costs you $29.50 ($12 for the check, $7.50 for mileage in the car, assuming $1.25 per mile fully loaded times 6 miles, plus $10 worth of your time). If you’re stopping by after work to get a burger because you think it’s more convenient than cooking, that’s a mighty expensive convenience.

              Instead of $3 of cheap ground beef you can get custom ground sirloin (I use a 50% sirloin, 50% chuck blend myself), premium buns and Pleasant Ridge Reserve farmstand cheese (American Cheese Society Gold Medal winner a couple years ago) instead of Velveeta. You can pay $8 for the ingredients in a deluxe gourmet burger and grill ’em at home in less time than it takes to drive to a burger joint and wait in line.

              Doing that twice a week saves you about $2,500 a year or $25,000 in a decade. Per person. That’s a down payment on a house in a lot of places in this country. And with a family, that’s a house and a minivan.

            • Missionary Kid

              Yup, I’m cheap. I’m retired, and have had some income reversals, but since I do a lot of cooking for myself, I eat better, healthier, and tastier, the reversals haven’t hurt me that much.

              I put my money into things I enjoy, like flying.

            • Imelda Marcos

              Also: “If you eat, you should cook.” I’m a woman and I don’t really have flair for presentation. My best/favourite boyfriend ever was a terrific cook, trained at a Toronto college, and it’s always a regret that I passed him up. ๐Ÿ˜‰

            • Missionary Kid

              Looking back, exes sometimes look better because we’ve forgotten the bad stuff or we’ve gotten more mature and see things differently.

            • Imelda Marcos

              True. I actually can think up some drawbacks if that relationship had continued. But he was a reeeaaallly good cook.

        • Still_On_Your_Side

          Those ads are pretty bad, and they helped to create Betty Friedan and the liberation movements of the 60s. The brutality against women in Dianetics survived the 60s, and Miscavige’s GAT. It is the cult’s dirty little secret and it needs more publicity.

          • Poison Ivy

            Sadly, the media representations of women today truly aren’t any better. They just demean us in a very different way, using our sexuality as control. http://www.missrepresentation.org

            • Missionary Kid

              They also demean men, and fathers, and sons and daughters, etc., etc. It all depends on who the target audience is.

        • Missionary Kid

          Those ads sure are sexist.

          I don’t remember, but the person commenting obviously wasn’t familiar with the “nose cone” bras that were popular for a while. If you look at many of the pictures of girls and women taken at the time, you’ll see them. “Sabrina” just had bigger breasts than most, and that was, I’m sure, to catch men’s attention. Since low cut blouses were deemed too slutty, they went the big boob route.

        • ze moo

          Lysol for ‘feminine hygiene’ ????

          • Missionary Kid

            In very dilute form. Used straight, it would be P A I N F U L!

            • FistOfXenu

              And just how did you acquire that knowledge?

            • Missionary Kid

              Not personally, but I do know that undiluted Lysol, because it’s so strong, on any internal tissue would have that effect. I dare you to use it as a mouthwash straight.

              http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lysol#History

          • Poison Ivy

            Yeah, that one was particularly abhorrent. But LRH would’ve approved it heartily – the wife’s marriage is going down the drain because she “pulled it in” – by not using a lysol douche.

            • BosonStark

              He might have said, too much Lysol for a woman would be like trying to put out the sun with gasoline.

        • Couch_Incident

          I’m confident this is a parody (supposedly from “Housekeeping Monthly” 1955), but it sums up the attitudes well:

          • Poison Ivy

            I think it’s not a parody.

          • grundoon

            snopes.com says the clipping is fake. But similar advice was found in genuine sources of the era.

            • Couch_Incident

              Nice find!

            • Jgg2012

              I think LRH would have liked it, and quoted it without attribution.

    • And I don’t rent cars!

      It is only in the past 2 – 3 decades that we’ve increasingly demanded, and expected, actual, verifiable (and oftentimes, double blind) case studies to support an author’s claims – esp. in the fields of self-help, psychotherapy, psychology, medicine, nutrition and diets, etc.
      We now demand documentation for any claim – esp. the ones coming out of the field of self-help and alternative medicine and even traditional medicine itself where we now want to know the details of studies, which researchers did the work, who funded the research, name of the labs where the research was done, which multinational company owns the labs, etc. etc..

      Imagine Dianetics being published today… without any of the scientology organizations and scientologists flogging it. It would be exposed as a fraud and ridiculed – as the Bunker and Vance are doing now.

      And referring to EnthralledObserver’s comment, “Hubbard’s sexual fantasies… just sayin” –
      The “examples” used by Hubbard are simply pulled out of his arse (where his sexual fantasies seem to come from too).
      If the term “case studies” had been in popular use during those years, I am sure Hubbard would have gleefully appropriated it as he’d think it would make him sound like that other fantasy of his… “I am a Big Scientist.”

      • Missionary Kid

        You just earned the 300SL.

        • And I don’t rent cars!

          You just got an ^ from me plus a great big kiss!! (Don’t care if you are male or female; I promise I won’t use my tongue!)
          Now, when can I take you for a Sunday drive in my ‘new’ 300SL? Want the top down? What color (NOT colour) would you like it and what year of make? Should I pack us a picnic lunch as well as vino, baquette, cheese, and grapes?

          • Missionary Kid

            I’m male, and I accept. That comment, as well as Boson’s were right on the mark. To me, the car is nice, but intelligent conversation and a good imagination carry the day.

            A twisty road in the Rockies that ends in a high, alpine meadow with a picnic table (the ecology is always fragile, so I try to stay off of the grass) with all of the above. A toast to the end of $cientology.

            • And I don’t rent cars!

              Cheers! To the end of $cientology! And, ร  votre santรฉ!

              Well to be honest, I’m glad conversation and imagination carry the day because, at this point, we will have to imagine driving on those twisty roads in the Rockies (Canadian or American? Both?) in my 300SL and we can only talk about the beautiful, exquisite vistas we will be passing by.

              Oh, oh… I think I’m falling in love… I would never have thought ahead of protecting the ecology on our trip in that way and mapping out rest areas that also include picnic tables! That deserves another toast. Cheers! – to preserving and caretaking of the planet! And to you! – for your thoughtfulness!

              P.S. I was raised French Catholic. So, no matter how charming you are… still NO tongue! ; )

            • Missionary Kid

              I took a trip over the Continental Divide, and they had signs up.warning of it. I also rode a motorcycle along the Snake river south of Missoula, Montana, and it was one of the most beautiful experiences of my traveling life. The high meadows are fabulous, but fragile.

              Tongue isn’t important, affection is.

            • And I don’t rent cars!

              Oh no. My mother WAS right. Affection and working well together is more important. (OK, this is the only time she was right… about anything… I swear) : )

              Thank you about telling about the Snake river trip. I only travel by computer now so I’ll have to look it up.
              P.S. My mother was the one who gave you the 2nd ^ for your last statement.
              P.P.S. I’m not sure as to how she did that as she is over 860 km from here and doesn’t own a computer. In fact, she calls them “the devil’s invention.” But Mothers have uncanny abilities, so who knows…

            • Missionary Kid

              Compliments gladly accepted.
              Maybe it was your mother’s ESP powers. ๐Ÿ˜‰

            • And I don’t rent cars!

              Very reassuring then. Her ESP powers means she couldn’t have fallen prey to the Scientologists. (She’s 88 years old and we know how seniors are targeted for all kinds of fraud these days.)

              In any case, be assured that I have warned and trained her to just hang up the phone on any stranger.

              I suspect I overtrained her and she is now scared to death when the phone rings. She doesn’t have Call Display and a few months ago I called her but I became distracted as she answered and before I could say, “Allo Maman” she had hung up on me. Indignant, I called her right back and again she hung up on me. I don’t remember how many times we went through this before I got through. I just remember yelling repeated, “Don’t hung up!”

              Eventually she told me that she was sure it was some determined scam artist calling her repeatedly so she thought she’d teach them a lesson by simply picking up the phone as soon as it rang and banging it back down immediately.

              And that my dear, is my final story for the day. Gardening to do before it rains for the next four days.

              Incidently, it’s been fun to have this ‘rave’ with you.

            • Missionary Kid

              Where I live, we sometimes go a whole year with only a trace of rain. Our average is 5 inches.

              Stay dry.

            • And I don’t rent cars!

              Yikes. That is close to our average per month during summer and fall months! And then we have the snow when it melts. I guess I’ll try not to complain again about the friggin’ rain ruining freshly sown seed beds nor the f****g snow as I shovel it. I’d druther that than what you experience.

              Oh, I get it. But you can boast to the tourists that what you have is “dry heat” compared to the life sucking humidity elsewhere (like here). And it’s coming soon for us… any day now… and I’m scared… truly. And being in a river valley, the humidity clings to you like LRH’s engrams.

              You know, on those days and at the height of it, if it would alleviate my misery, I would consider auditing… maybe…

              I’ll tell you for sure when the humidity soars in a matter of hours and stays that way, day after day after day… and we become sleep deprived, without appetite, drenched in sweat, complaining, humorless, irritable, angry, … walking around like boneless chickens, etc.

            • Missionary Kid

              The humidity is 12% right now. I’ve run a crew in 123 degree F (50.5 C) heat, and I’ll take that any day over 90 F (32 C) and 100% humidity. When you sweat, it evaporates.

            • And I don’t rent cars!

              Here, the sweat simply runs down my cheeks along with the tears.

              The sky is getting very overcast. If I don’t stop dawdling, I’ll be gardening and crying in the rain. I think there’s a song called “Crying in the rain” or maybe it’s “Singing in the rain” that I’m thinking of.

            • And I don’t rent cars!

              Wait a minute, I just caught on. What were you having a crew do in 123 F weather? If they running around a pole in your version of an RPF, then I’ll have to terminate this comm line!

            • Missionary Kid

              I was running a construction crew. In the summer, we would set up while it was still dark (sunrise is at about 5:30 daylight savings time) and we don’t have the long twilight that northern latitudes do. We’d be done when it really got hot, but I always had paperwork to do & ordering materials.

              As the crow flies, I’m on the other side of the mountain, so to speak, 30 miles as the crow flies and 50 miles driving from Gold Base and the Hole, but that’s a 10,500′ (3,200 m) mountain that casts a large rain shadow. Their dew point is about 64 right now, and ours is about 52. It’s 100 F right now, but 9% humidity.

              It’s generally cooler there, but when it heats up, it’s much more miserable.

            • Missionary Kid

              It’s singing in the rain. Get to work.

            • grundoon
            • Missionary Kid

              I hope And I don’t rent cars sees it.
              Thanks

  • LongNeckGoose

    “A History Of Man” is the book that finally broke Hubbard’s spell once and for all, for me (a few years ago) as for many others, at the time of its publication and through all the years since. Spoiler alert: the basic concept of the book is that we each have two souls. There’s the animal body, there’s a soul that goes with it, and they are both native to the planet Earth. Then there’s an alien soul (that’s you and me) which has taken over control of the native organism. This, of course, is the precursor to the Xenu cosmology of OTIII. Sounds a little like classic science fiction of the 1950s such as the movie “Invasion of the Body Snatchers” or Robert A. Heinlein’s “The Puppet Masters” except with a twist: We Are The Invaders! Mwha-ha-ha-ha!

  • AnonymousSP

    This is the crap that Tom Cruise believes enough to go on TV and tell everyone that he knows psychiatry. Wow. Just wow.

    • Sherbet

      I’m no doctor, but it is my considered opinion that lrh would have benefited greatly from anti-psychotic meds and long-term psychiatric therapy, if not hospitalization. The man was a walking, talking advertisement for it. “Better Living Through Psychiatry. (You don’t want to be like this guy, do you?)”

      • Gerard Plourde

        You’re right that he had demonstrably serious issues. Given the state of psychiatry and psychology in the early 1950’s (much of the medication and many of the therapeutic techniques we take for granted today were not yet available which is why the profession presented such a big juicy target) I’m not sure that treatment would have been effective.

        • Sherbet

          Then they should’ve locked him up as delusional.

          • Gerard Plourde

            That’s probably exactly what they would have done.

            • juliusstahl

              Hubbard exhibited a number of symptoms of psychiatric syndromes. He was extremely security conscious to the point of paranoia.

              He was in the analysis of Prof. Steve Kent and psychologist Jody Lang a malignant narcissist. Dr. Robert D. Hare, who is a leading expert on psychopathy and lives in Vancouver has written that intense malignant narcissism is indistinguishable from clinical psychopathy.

              Hubbard lied chronically, was unable to feel remorse or compassion as normal people do, and was vindictive and cruel, which leads me to believe that more likely than not he was a clinical psychopath of the Bernie Maddoff con-man rather than the Jeffrey Dahmer serial killer variety.

            • Missionary Kid

              Here’s my diagnosis: self-serving asshole. There, that felt better.

              Thanks for the info from Kent and Lang. Of course, they never talked directly with him, but it seems pretty accurate.

          • Missionary Kid

            That’s why he hated shrinks. If they’d really looked at him closely, they’d figure that he was close to the stage where inpatient care would be needed. In hindsight, we’d all say it should have been under lock and key.

            • Sherbet

              Wasn’t there some story where lrh himself asked for meds or psych care and didn’t get it, thus triggering a life-long hate of psychiatry?

            • Missionary Kid

              I don’t remember that, but in one of his screeds he claimed that he’d been examined by a psychiatrist and declared something like, “perfectly normal”

            • Sherbet

              Read Observer’s link, Kid. It’s pretty sad.

            • Missionary Kid

              Now I remember it. That was part of his continuing attempts to get more money out of the VA.

              Today, they’d haul his ass in and examine him, and send his case to a review board, which would look closely and possibly discontinue all of his pension when they took a closer look

            • Sherbet

              Really? Proving, once again, that I’m naive.

            • Missionary Kid

              The rest of the letters that he wrote the VA were all of the “poor me, I’m a veteran who was hurt while serving my country, I need money” variety.

              I’ve had contact with the VA, so I know how they operate now. Back then, their records of a person’s service wasn’t examined so closely, I believe.

            • Poison Ivy

              The shrink probably said that to make sure Hubbard never came back for another session.

            • Missionary Kid

              I don’t think a shrink would ever say that, but if he did, your reason is probably as good as any. ๐Ÿ™‚

            • Poison Ivy

              Seriously, can you imagine being the shrink when Hubbard lay down on the couch? I’d want to change my name and phone number after hearing his delusions.

            • Missionary Kid

              A good shrink would handle him. The problem is, the Hub was such a pathological liar, he probably would lie to his shrink. His pattern was set so early in his life, and he had no desire to change.

              His cons paid off, so why would he change? He never went to jail for more than a few hours, and when things got hot, he just moved on to con someone else.

            • Observer
            • Sherbet

              Thanks, Observer, that’s it. In reading his letter, I truly feel sorry for lrh that he didn’t get the help he wanted. He sounded desperate. The course of his life might have changed and, with it, the course of his admirers’ lives.

            • Missionary Kid

              No, I don’t think it was sincere, but it was an attempt to get more money out of the VA. He was playing the pity card, hoping that they wouldn’t look too closely at his “record.”

            • Poison Ivy

              I think it was at least partially sincere, and is part of why I think he was bi-polar, among other things. Periods of dark despair alternating with periods of grandiosity and super human energy. Because of the Affirmations, it appears he was hearing voices as well, and because of SMERSH and his later writings, paranoid. So my armchair diagnosis is a severely bi-polar man with narcissistic personality disorder and a soupรงon of paranoid schizophrenia.

            • Missionary Kid

              I have a much simpler diagnosis: evil asshole and con man.

            • Couch_Incident

              Wow, that’s gold. Thanks.

            • Missionary Kid

              Thanks.

            • Sherbet

              Just thinking…I wonder if that letter is displayed in the CCHR’s museum. ๐Ÿ˜€

  • Sherbet

    When my M-I-L miscarried in the early 1950s, she said the doctor attributed it to “a bad seed.” That just goes to show how deeply medical science went into the details with women — about their own bodies — back then. lrh’s lunatic ruminations probably did sound like real science, especially when he threw in the word “proof” a few dozen times.

  • TheHoleDoesNotExist

    While the power is still on, I just want to know what kind of cocktails Bunkerites will need to concoct for adequate, scientific preparation for Anything having to do with History of Man. Also, need time to install seat belts on desk chair, and plastic wrap over keyboards. It will be a very bumpy ride through LulzLand.

    “LRH gave his son Nibs some amphetamines, and Nibs started talking, he said, started really going talking fast, from the speed. And he kept talking, he kept talking, and his dad kept giving him speed and all of a sudden he was talking about his history, when he was a clam and all these different situations in early Earth. And out of that came History of Man.[3]”

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scientology:_A_History_of_Man

    • Sherbet

      I don’t really drink, so I’ll be the designated driver, Hole-y One. But I’m not mopping up everyone’s keyboards!

      • TheHoleDoesNotExist

        need 1 now, pleas. on tablet, tornados just zooming by, 2, missed us, but 2 close! hope wifi holds out. we r hunkered down in bedroom. wonder how Bury’s doin?

        • Captain Howdy

          Is it still a tropical storm or is it a hurricane now? Stay safe.

          • TheHoleDoesNotExist

            entire pinellas county..tornado warning. tornadoes worst threat. still t.s. just west offshore. have hurricane windows. im having a 3rd cup coffee, tho

            • Captain Howdy

              Dam, I didn’t know they got tornadoes in Fla.I’m sure you know what to do, but be careful nonetheless. Wishin’ and hopin’ for the best your Holiness..

            • Missionary Kid

              They even get tornadoes in hurricanes.

        • Sherbet

          Wow! I hope it passes soon. Be safe.

    • Espiando

      Clamato Bloody Mary, of course.

    • 1subgenius

      No doubt in my mind much of Hubbard’s ravings were amphetamine driven.

    • Missionary Kid

      I’m going to go out and purchase a box of ass gaskets and pre-install one before every time I read any of it.

    • q-bird

      Anything by his son is/was of great interest to me.

      I found & read this pretty early on in my study of scn & it affected me viscerally.

      http://www.rickross.com/reference/scientology/scien240.html

      and then this interview was excellent as well : http://youtu.be/Mi6aTe6T5LE

    • Couch_Incident

      Wow, hopping up your son (who according to my calcs was 18 or younger) on speed and transcribing his ravings is one way to get past writer’s block.

  • SciWatcher

    “Itโ€™s like Hubbard typed out a stream of consciousness and never gave a second thought to editing.” I’m sure that’s exactly what he did. He was too arrogant to edit (and too immature). I’m sure he thought that whatever rolled onto the page was simply golden.

    • Gerard Plourde

      You’re right. There are accounts that his practice was to use a roll of butcher paper cranked into the typewriter roller and that he would finish typing, tear off the completed paper and submit it directly to the editor.

      • Phil McKraken

        Funny, Jack Kerouac wrote “On the Road” on a continuous scroll, but then Kerouac was a pretty good writer and he edited it heavily before publishing.

        • Gerard Plourde

          I wonder if writers of pulp fiction made that a regular practice in those days. If you were being paid by the word, steady and prolific output was important. And the number of magazines needing copy was large (Saturday Evening Post, Argosy, Esquire, True, etc. down the chain to mystery (Ellery Queen) and science fiction (Amazing Stories)).

          • Missionary Kid

            They also sent out a huge number of rejection notices. I’m sure the Hub got a LOT of them.

            The hub never made it to the mainstream magazines where the pay was far better. Heinlein did, and was writing for the Post, and he also wrote for Boy’s Life, the official Boy Scout magazine, as well as other mainstream publications.

  • ze moo

    “Itโ€™s an amazing feat of self-promotion โ€ฆ or mass stupidity.” I go with both explanations. The late 40’s early 50’s was a strange time in American history. People used the GI Bill to go to college and the US became more educated and more pretentious. The new college grads spouted Freud and Einstein and Jung and all the philosophers they heard about in Philo 101. Some of them understood it and others did not. Still the majority of Americans did not go to college and did quite well with what ever education they got.

    Magazines and popular books did a lot of education for the masses. That is how Lroon got Dianutty on the best selling charts. I suspect the fraud of buying books and then returning them was born then, but I have no evidence. I have to suspect fraud, otherwise I begin to doubt Darwin.

    Lroons fixation on violent anti-women ‘engrams’ is past strange and downright psychotic. I suspect something in his childhood, but then I remember what a self-important, all knowing dick he was. That explains it all.

    ESP is fake and engrams and Xenu are real??? No one has ever proved ESP and certainly no one has proved engrams. My unicorn doesn’t believe in your fairy either.

    • Peter

      Thos who do not believe in ESP or mind reading have never met my wife!!!

      • ze moo

        I think everyone has the garden variety of ESP. When you have spent enough time with anyone, you can guess what they are thinking about very often. Watch South Parks ‘Greatest Douche in the Universe’ episode. That is great explanation of ESP and ‘talking to the dead’.

        • Missionary Kid
        • Peter

          I’m not sure what you mean by “garden variety”. Duke University has been looking into it since the 1930s as have many other scientific researchers worldwide. That you don’t believe in it is hardly scientific. ๐Ÿ™‚ Nor does coupling it in your argument with “talking to the dead”. Very different subjects.

          • George Layton

            Them damn South Park kids.

          • ze moo

            Duke has been running ESP experiments since the 30’s and they haven’t proved esp exists. After a while, you have say there is nothing there. The talking to the dead stuff is a technique called cold reading, used in both talking to the dead and ‘psychic’ stuff.

            http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IjPsnfysrp8

            https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cold_reading

          • Captain Howdy

            Professors Russell Targ and Harold Puthoff did experiments with Uri Geller that they claimed proved he was psychic. Uri Geller was proven a fraud by James Randi, and he eventually admitted he was a fraud himself.

          • Missionary Kid

            Get a magician involved, and they usually debunk stuff like that pretty quickly

    • Missionary Kid

      No, there weren’t enough followers of LRH to buy his books and return them. You’ll also have to realize it was the time of Bridey Murphy, too. People were being exposed to all sorts of new ideas, so they’d try them out and then abandon them. Dianetics was a fad, pure and simple that waxed and waned.

      You have to give the Hub credit. He was persistent, and he had enough wealthy backers over time to fleece so he could keep the con going or restart it.

      You have to realize that there was no rapid communication and dissemination. When Queen Elizabeth was crowned, it was a big deal that they flew the film across the Atlantic to show on TV the next day in black and white.

      Hub’s tactics were classic for a con man of his day: strike, then move on.

  • Captain Howdy

    So it’s “nix” on the ESP and Telepathy
    But “ja’ on the Telekinesis and Astral Projection?

    No reason or rhyme to the mind of Mother Hubbard

    • Sherbet

      He couldn’t own ESP and telepathy, but he could make a cottage industry out of dianetics.

    • Peter

      Frankly, I’d not put a nix on anything. For some deep research into many of these subjects, I highly recomment Lynn McTaggart’s “Zero Point Field”. There is SO MUCH research done which is rarely reported.

      • Captain Howdy

        Thanks, but I already did my paranormal studies back in the 70’s when I was a teen. I am now a confirmed materialist, thanks in no small part to the work of James Randi, among others.

  • EnthralledObserver

    There was this one time I was driving home late at night on a deserted road and, being only 18 as I was, I was speeding. Out driving my car’s lights… and it suddenly occured to me that I better slow down because there could be a cow or something on the road around the corner (on a road NOT known for having any livestock on it routinely), and because my lights weren’t great it would be hard to see it in time. Well, fuck me, around the very next corner was a dirty, big fricken COW in the middle of the road, and had it not been late and the roads clear of other traffic, it might have been an issue, because I wouldn’t have stopped in time – I had to move over to the oncoming side to avoid the beast.
    So, there you have it – my testing done and dusted. The new religion shall be called Cowatology, and it shall cost you $38 567 to get in your car and think about cows when you drive… ๐Ÿ˜€ That’s EVERY time… so cough up peeps!

    • George Layton

      Does it come with a car, or maybe a cow?

      • EnthralledObserver

        It will come with a picture of a cow… but the picture of the car will be some random figure extra.

        • ze moo

          How about 2 cows. And don’t forget the great moose schism your new religion will create.

          • EnthralledObserver

            Well, as ‘source’ is based in Australia, that’ll actually be a ‘roo’ (as in Kanga-roo) schism. No, only one cow picture.

          • Sherbet

            I have no idea what’s going on in this photo, but it makes me laugh. I keep looking at it, just for the giggles.

            • EnthralledObserver

              That’s Mary-Sue and Shelly passing on the doctrine with sauce over the fence… but Shelly should be photoshopped out… chop chop.

            • Sherbet

              Oh, gosh, FUNNY!

            • Missionary Kid

              On this one, I’m not going to Kow Tow.

            • Sherbet

              I have no beef with you, Kid.

            • Missionary Kid

              That’s better than udder.

            • ze moo

              Kowabunga, dude or dudette. Kows must be the perfect scientologists. They come in from the fields twice a day for auditing with tasty corn and oats and silage and get their heavily laden teats sucked dry. When they can no longer make milk or little cows, they are sent to the abattoir (process r2-45) and processed for the good of the herd into meat and skin products. If the farmer has electric fences, they can get auditing in the fields also. Do they complain about this arrangement??? Mooooostly never……

            • Missionary Kid

              You more than live up to your name. ๐Ÿ˜€

            • N. Graham

              Cows win all the staring contests and already have a herd mentality. But they are much smarter and nicer than Scientologists. Not to mention they have a better sense of humor. How do I sign up? There’s a barnyard not far away, could that be a Cowatologist mission or something? I saw a lot of cows there and every time I drive by they all swarm around and try to get me to take personality and stress tests.

            • Missionary Kid

              They also provide milk.

            • FistOfXenu

              I was gonna horn in on this conversation but decided you guys are all funnier than anything I can think of.

            • Missionary Kid

              FOX, when you’re ready, you’re just as funny.

            • FistOfXenu

              Well maybe, but there’s a lot at steak here and I’m not in y prime any more.

            • Missionary Kid

              I pronounce you ready. I both laughed and groaned – the mark of good punning.

            • Zana

              Whatever happened to Shelly? That’s really kind of scary when you think of it.

            • Poison Ivy

              I think about this all the time. Either she is a total, complete prisoner (and no one on the outside seems to care about her, except maybe Jenna) or she is — well, on her way to Target 2, let’s say.
              Either way, it’s abominable;.

            • Sherbet

              Did you notice those are stretch gloves on the cows’ ears? That makes it even funnier.

        • ze moo

          Cows may be too smart for us.

          • Poison Ivy

            Great minds; see above!

    • Sherbet

      Hey, quit trying to milk the public.

      • Missionary Kid

        O.K. Sherbet, you’re already pushing me up to my laugh quota for the day, dammit! ๐Ÿ˜‰

        • Poison Ivy

          It’s stat day, you have no quota except MORE MORE MORE!

          • Missionary Kid

            I’m even happier when the quota is exceeded.

      • EnthralledObserver

        I can’t get anything past-ur-eyes(d), can I?

        • Sherbet

          ๐Ÿ˜€

    • sugarplumfairy

      What about deer?

      • EnthralledObserver

        ‘Dear’ Xenu…
        The clams don’t acknowledge him, so Cowatology is now adopting him… ๐Ÿ˜€ It’s doctrine, and I am sauce.

        • sugarplumfairy

          And doctrine is pretty tasteless without the sauce..

          • EnthralledObserver

            Precisely… and I think we (Cowatology) too are going to go with the Narcissistic sauce from the other day…

          • TheHoleDoesNotExist

            made me laff while watching sec monitors, trash men actually picking up! bye bye trash cans. getting fierce, pass that sauce!

      • EnthralledObserver

        Just like Hubbard I reserve the right NOT to make sense, and to just pull it outa my arse.

    • Espiando

      Got a doctrinal question, EO: I’ve done cattle slaughter inspection in my past and have spent a good deal of the last quarter century involved with meat products. Do I have to do some kind of A To E, or do I enter the cosmology of Cowatology as some sort of Xenu figure?

      • EnthralledObserver

        Well… it’s kinda of all goo-goo in the sticky back wheel of thinking… but, if the cows were pregnant and you were violent, then that baby cow now has some problems to deal with in the future.
        The answer, of course, is all wrapped up in the Narcissistic sauce… and you will be hailed a hero of sorts… and Xenu represents the as-is-ness of our cosmology.
        Making sense…
        Nix making sense…
        Get it?

        • Zana

          You guys are all wonderfully crazy. Thank you.

          • q-bird

            oh man ~ I can’t agree with you more Zana. Wonderfully K.R.A.Z.Y.
            This crew here on TO’s blog are amazingly acidly wickedly funny. They never fail to lift my spirits, especially after reading hubturd’s actual words… catching his drift… gets me so upset and angry. My dear crew here, always, calms me the f*** down.

            Welcome aboard Zana.

      • John P.

        I was confronted with a similar ethical dilemma yesterday. I was out for a run in the local forest preserve (working from home at the waterfront estate out in the country) last night and when I got back to the car, there was a lady sitting at the picnic tables with her Vietnamese pot bellied pig. The little piglet was adorable and friendly, with cute little eyelashes and a tail going a million miles an hour, and she took a real fancy to me. I opted for decorum and failed to mention that I am a committed Bacontarian. Do Bacontarians need to repent in some special way to join your new cult?

        • Couch_Incident

          Depends if you’re guilty of bacon vandalism:

        • Sherbet

          This is unclear to me: Was it the lady who was adorable, friendly, with cute eyelashes and tail? Or the pig?

        • Sherbet

          Thank you for the clarification.

        • Bella Legosi

          Bacontarian…….I love it. Bacon is one of those flavors that gives you an orgasm in your mouth. I really pity Jews, Moslems, and vegetarians/vegans.

          When I was a kid I was convinced one of the best parts about Christ being crucified was that his death allowed us to eat pork products without guilt! I will say to my mom (who absolutely hates it when I say) “Thank you Jesus for dying on the cross, so that we can taste wonderful bacon!”

      • ithilien

        No, but you have a lot of karma hanging over your head

    • TheHoleDoesNotExist

      was it a cash cow? please go back and herd it into ur nearest org. tks a bunch

      • EnthralledObserver

        Cash cow, visa cow, mastercard cow… they’re all very lucrative…

        • sugarplumfairy

          Larsen has a funny FarSide comparing Scientology to Cowintology, but my phone won’t let me paste it..

          • Couch_Incident

            Thanks for the reminder:

            • sugarplumfairy

              Yay! Thank you, Couch!

    • Zana

      Ooooo Wow… that’s so OT.

    • Poison Ivy

      Was your cow doing this:

      • sugarplumfairy

        Lol..

  • FistOfXenu

    Simple answer here. Rip off somebody else’s blueprint, stick the result in a box with some fancy dials and knobs and call it an e-meter. Then pump out a huge pile of horseshit about yourself and the e-meter and what it does and how to use it, build a mind sapping money grabbing life wrecking cult out of the result and presto! – now esp and telepathy are science!

    • Sherbet

      We missed you and your wisdom, FistOX.

      • FistOfXenu

        That’s real kind of you to say Sherbet. Not sure anybody’s ever called what I say wise but I appreciate the compliment anyhow. I just planned to take a back seat and read other people for awhile but when about those damn volunteers going to Oklahoma I had to turn off the computer.

        • Sherbet

          As we New Englanders say, you’re wicked smaht. And funny.

          • FistOfXenu

            I always did like New England. ๐Ÿ˜‰

            • Captain Howdy

              wicked pissah at the packie, kid — people in Ma. call 60 yr olds “kid”. Maybe it’s because they’re still dressing like little kids with their baseball caps and various sundry sports gear.

              http://youtu.be/BkQSiDa4v6g

            • FistOfXenu

              *looks in mirror. USMC cap? Check. Gold’s Gym t-shirt? Check. Hiking shorts? Check. Butt pack? Check. Reebok cross trainers? Check.*

              Guess I made it too easy. Nice of you to to leave it at 60, Captain.

  • Kim O’Brien

    Huh …a man hates women , and starts a religion. Have you noticed that theme ? i swear …almost every time Tony speaks with Vance and we get another glimpse into the land of cray cray with Hubbard …i hear Charlie Sheen yelling ” winning !”

  • Xique

    Vance “I sometimes feel ashamed at all the money and time I wasted on Scientology.” Ditto , my brother, ditto.

    • Observer

      Both of you are out and speaking out, so it wasn’t a total waste. You’re using your knowledge of Hubbard’s scam against his cult. That’s worth a lot.

      • Bella Legosi

        It is those who were “in” that are now out and who speak out, that do Co$ the most damage IMO. It takes a lot for anyone to leave a group, but it takes a lot more for that person to speak out against the group’s hypocrisy and abuse. Those who speak out are doing a service more respectable and admirable then anything they could have done while “inside”. I give major respect to those who leave the “church” and speak out against it, more so then journalists who have never been “in”. No offence to Tony or Lawrence. They do great things and have brought Co$ to the forefront, but their work could not be done without people like you Xique.

        • Poison Ivy

          Agreed.

      • Xique

        Thanks Observer

    • Missionary Kid

      Thank you for speaking out.

      • Xique

        I’m trying.

  • Bella Legosi

    Jesus Christ! That excerpt of the man trying to kill the mother is a very disturbing insight into the mind of Hubbard. There really is no redeeming quality that can ever be applied to that man, ever. Reading that makes me consider some of the horror stories that have come out regarding Hubbard’s time at sea and the “suicides” that would occur. I have always taken some of those stories with a grain of salt, but when I read what I did today, I think I am convinced that suggested or orchestrated suicides prolly were not the only activities being done to Hubbard’s “crew and faithful”.
    Yet, another excellent quote, straight from the horse’s ass to put into an informational brochure.

  • N. Graham

    I hear Davey’s given up on finding Shelly and has joined a dating service:

    Davey M. Dating Profile

    Every day I wake up thrilled to know that I can do and get WHATEVER I WANT, WHENEVER I WANT!! Wouldnโ€™t you like that opportunity? My perfect date will want to stay awake until 4 in the morning and then wake up
    around noon, or thereabouts. Screaming at servile sycophants should come naturally to you. If you are like me, screaming and yelling are like music to your ears. And what music youโ€™ll hear-sunset until sunrise!

    About you: You are subservient, looking for someone to wait on hand and foot, and love to be
    abused, both physically and mentally.
    You must be willing to suspend all rational beliefs and common sense to convert to a cultish religion that I am the dictator of.

    You must not be taller than 5 foot 4 or else willing to never stand in my presence.

    About me: I am able to solve any problem, anytime, anywhere. In fact, I am probably the only big person alive that can handle anything right. Just imagine me as your date! How fantastic it will be, you cannot imagine!

    I have beat up 6 personal assistants to assure accurate information on the six computer terminals I have set up to handle the mass response I know will come when it gets out that I am in the marketplace.

    • Poison Ivy

      Hilarious.

  • Bella Legosi

    So, when a patient dies at Narconon in Las Vegas, could the state itself be culpable? I highly doubt it, but should anything untoward happen I sure hope that this bill and it’s death will be brought up and whomever let it die is held to account.
    Is it not a civil servant’s job to protect it’s population? Oh……who am I kidding, that is naivety! The way things work these days is basically going down on the group who has the most money and influence, not the people. I am of the opinon that when enough money or blackmail in involved, it trumps oath of offices and patriotism any time, any day.
    I can only hope that with the cases going on in Oklahoma and Georgia; they will be Narconon’s reckoning and eventual death nell. It is a shame that it has taken absolute criminality and deaths of patients to change the laws and thinking in OK and GA, but I think it is unforgiveable for any state to allow a business like Narconon to operate unrestrained and unchecked with the reputation that it has now. No honest law maker can honestly say they have no idea what is going on litigation wise with Narconon or be ignorant of its ties with $cientology. It says a lot about the law makers in NV. To me they are saying, “Nobody has died yet at Narconon, therefore we should not be concerned.” But the truth of the matter is that when that does happen, those same people will be postulating that they did everything they could to prevent such a thing from occurring and more then likely will blame each other for the bill’s languishing death. I really hate politician’s who abuse the power we the people give them. It’s not that hard of a job to protect your citizens, and if it is that hard and taxing to a politician then maybe their asses should be tossed out and publicly shamed for their cowardice and betrayal of the peoples trust.

    • Sidney18511

      I agree with you 100% Bella. While researching this bill I discovered that it would of prevented FEDERAL and STATE money from ending up in the coffers of NN if their employees were not properly certified. This bill should of never ended up on the bottom of the to-do pile. This is so wrong and Nevada should be ashamed.

    • stateofcircle

      I wonder if the politicians involved in stalling it were bribed and/or threatened and/or harassed and/or blackmailed by the “church” goons and PI’s. I absolutely don’t want anyone else to suffer at the hands of liars and frauds masquerading as caring professionals, but I would LOVE to see a government – in this case NV – taken to court over their gross negligence in this matter. I have little faith left in our government, and reading about politicians willfully ignoring the safety of their constituents in favor of deciding on a mascot makes me sick to my stomach. As far as I’m concerned, there is blood on their hands.

  • Zana

    It boggles my mind how much violence LRH has towards women. It’s pretty disgusting. How can someone with that much obsession about abortions and kicking mom and tearing her apart inside be man’s best friend? It gave me pause to step back and think, even when I WAS in the cult.

    Thanks for the great reporting!

  • Espiando

    Past noon Eastern and no Dickie. Given what’s happening with the weather, I think it’s now obvious that Dickie’s a Clearwater Clam. Now that we’ve got him/her/it pinned down geographically, it’s time to start speculating about other things. Is Dickie a public? Is Dickie staff at Flag? Could Dickie be Sea Org?

    The lack of downvotes today prompts only more questions. Someday, we will get to the truth.

    • Observer

      He/she/they didn’t hit until early afternoon last week, and then we got multiples.

      • Espiando

        And it’s now approaching Stat Time on the East Coast, and still no Dickie. I think he’s in Clearwater and is getting drenched right now.

        • Observer

          It’s such a letdown when we don’t get our Thursday confront.

  • Observer

    I’ve decided on a preemptive strike today. Now watch, Downer won’t show up.

  • Artoo45

    Couldn’t Hubbs have simply called his religion The Church of Ladies Are Scary And Dangerous And I Don’t Really Like Them? The misogyny simply poured from his fevered brain as he furiously tapped out his seemingly endless scenarios of abuse, hatred, rape, abortion, abortion and abortion onto the rolls of butcher paper that ran through his overheated Smith-Corona. Did I mention abortion? Well, Hubbs would want me to mention it again, just to make sure you were thinking about abortion enough, so . . . abortion.

    Have a nice day.

  • Still_On_Your_Side

    The only reason I see for Hubbard’s numerous dialogues where husbands are beating their wives, is that Hubbard himself must have been a wife beater. The dialogue is too vivid, and too contemporaneous for it to have been based on beatings his father may have given his mother. In the 1950s, police looked the other way, for the most part, when dealing with domestic abuse. Obviously that is not the case today. So, why is this crap given any credibility?

    As far as Nevada goes, I am not too worried about the lack of state legislation. I doubt that Narconon will even be operating two years from now, not with the tidal wave coming its way, composed of of federal investigations/ indictments and numerous lawsuits.

    • stateofcircle

      I know language and diction was a little different back in Blubbard’s day, but does anyone else find his phrasing and word usage (I don’t mean the words he makes up or manipulates) strange? Read some of the passages Tony quotes in this other posts, or DMSCB itself, in which Flubhard demonstrates spoken dialogue. It’s very odd and awkward to me.

      • Missionary Kid

        I like the names Blubbard and Flubhard. Both made my list.

        • ze moo

          Blubtard wants to sound important and learned. He really does sound like the cartoon Commander McBragg. All of his writing is an attempt to bloviate his college dropout vocabulary into something it isn’t.

          • Missionary Kid

            Blubtard goes in there, too.

  • ze moo

    A support group for Will Smith after his recent bomb.

    http://gothamist.com/2013/06/06/scientology_enthusiasts_start_suppo.php

  • Viewpoint of Dementia

    If you don’t get Dianetics, it wasn’t written for you. LRH technology is an actual step of evolution – the first artificial step – and the only way to change your conditions and become a more capable being. I’ve been applying the comm formula in some really theta ways, totally boosting my OT powers like a rocket, straight up and vertical. For example, last night I made my noisy neighbor go to sleep just by getting in comm with his bank for a quick restim of his engram, “I’m too old for this, I should go to bed”. I’m sorry but I you don’t want to improve yourself by expanding your OT powers, that’s fine, but stop with all the entheta, it really is suppressive on all dynamics.

    • Espiando

      That is an utterly brilliant piece of satire. It’s almost as if it was transported whole from Marty’s blog. Beautiful work.

      • Sherbet

        Unfortunately, Viewpoint’s other neighbor is Amanda Bynes and OT powerz just aren’t strong enough.

        • Viewpoint of Dementia

          Sherbet, I too am worried about Amanda. She was once so theta and now it’s like she’s totally in some heavy restim. Auditing would do wonders for her case, but it might be too difficult to even get the ruds in with her at this point. The good news is that when Super Power is available at Flag, even difficult cases like Amanda’s will be no match for LRH tech. I’m told the Oiliness Table will handle whole track drug implants faster than even the Purif Rundown! I can’t wait for my intensives!

          • Sherbet

            I couldn’t have said it better myself…um, whatever the heck you just said.

            • Viewpoint of Dementia

              Sherbet, just word clear your M/Us and you’ll be fine. Review HCOB 10 Mar 1965, Words, Misunderstood Goofs. There’s a lot of stable data there.

            • Sherbet

              Reviewing, Sir.

            • Truthiwant

              Who’s this guy? His humour is so dry it almost isn’t funny.

            • Sherbet

              Oh, I’m laughing, but I admit he/she puzzled me for a few minutes with the first post. It almost sounds like Midwest Mom, but she hasn’t been around at all for weeks.

            • Viewpoint of Dementia

              I’m new around here, was so excited to find an online community that’s disseminating Source in such an interesting way! Just looking to share OT success stories and other upstat ideas! You gotta alter-is to have a persistence, after all…

            • Sherbet

              Well, welcome. Sit down. Take a load off. Let’s see some ID.

            • Viewpoint of Dementia

              Can’t you just pull my PC folder from the C/S at AOLA?

            • Sherbet

              No, DM had it shredded by mistake when all the narconon paperwork went into the machine.

            • Viewpoint of Dementia

              Sherbet clearly some false data has been slammed on your lines. COB RTC wouldn’t make a mistake like that. Plus, as you know, RTC wouldn’t be involved with Narconon. RTC’s only mission is to safe guard the tech and KSW. Those rare, isolated problems at Narconon are obviously the work of psychs who’ve infiltrated.

            • Sherbet

              I beg to differ, O Demented One, but I think the problems at narconon are the result of having NO psychs infiltrate those bogus treatment centers.

            • Viewpoint of Dementia

              How do you know that the people who supposedly died under Narconon care didn’t actually go there on a suicide mission in an attempt to discredit the tech? Doesn’t that seem more likely than any wrongdoing by Narconon staff?

            • Sherbet

              Only in bad fiction.

              Oh, wait…

            • Truthiwant

              Well welcome aboard the Bunkerwinds. Who’s the asshole on your avatar?

            • Viewpoint of Dementia

              Why, that’s no asshole, that’s the Commodore, silly!

            • Truthiwant

              Gramatical error. No comma after Commodore

            • Espiando

              Actually, you’re wrong about that. There should be a comma there.

            • Sherbet

              We have a ship???

            • Truthiwant

              Dunno. Just made it up!

            • Captain Howdy

              The Good Ship Loli Pop

            • Sherbet

              LOL-ipop.

            • Captain Howdy

              No, Loli Pop

            • Sherbet

              Why don’t I get that?

            • Captain Howdy

              Because you’re not a perv.

            • Sherbet

              Oh.

            • stateofcircle

              Well I for one welcome you with open thetan arms and look forward to reading all of the wisdom of Source and the Universe you have to offer. I thought I was too far gone as a horribly entheta SP, but now I have great hope that my life can be rescued from the depths of evil through your generous dissemination of 100% Pure On-Source Science.

            • Viewpoint of Dementia

              Wow, I knew I was in the right place! I’m so glad you see the scientific data. It seems like some of the articles on this blog aren’t aware of the volumes of clinical research and evidence that supports the tech.

            • stateofcircle

              Well it’s a good thing that you came here then. Thank Xenu!

            • Spackle Motion

              I see what you did there.

            • Truthiwant

              Is he funny or is he not funny? So far I’m enjoying it!

          • stateofcircle

            Well, actually, according to the link below, your OT brother did in fact try to get Amanda into the auditing room, but she ultimately proved beyond help, even for the magic of Scientology. Perhaps you can help her, Viewpoint. Your valence of theta-ness, from what I can tell, is absolutely blow-out thetatastic, and you just may be her only hope.

            http://scientologycelebrity.wordpress.com/2013/05/25/amanda-bynes-another-one-of-fraser-kee-scotts-scientology-failures/

            • Viewpoint of Dementia

              Wow, thetatastic! I’m not sure there’s a higher compliment, thank you stateofcircle!

      • Viewpoint of Dementia

        Espinando, thanks for your comment but the r-factor is that I don’t engage in joking and degrading. Clearing the planet and this sector of the galaxy is serious business. Satire is totally low-tone. I suggest you report to the MAA at your local Ideal Org and get your ethics condition assigned before you go too far down scale. One of my favorite ways to raise my confront and get moving up the scale is to help disseminate to my friends, family and neighbors. Everyone should have a copy of the Basics. I keep a few dozen sets in my garage and if I’m buttered all over the universe, I get my TRs in and get in comm with other theta individuals get those copies into their hands. Try it! You can buy sets in bulk from Bridge Publications online!

        • George Layton

          Oh hey good! Do you happen to have an original copy of- A History of Man- that you could disseminate to Tony? No hurry we still have a few weeks before that exploration.

    • Truthiwant

      Are you serious?
      You write like a satirist and then something just isn’t quite right.
      You seem to have unbelievable powers.
      Can you make this site disappear with yout OT powers? Or are your OT powers limited to making people go to bed because they are a bit noisy?

      • Viewpoint of Dementia

        Truthiwant, it’s great to have you on my lines and to have the chance to dissem to someone who can appreciate LRH tech and wants to know more. Making this website disappear really wouldn’t be good for our 3rd Dynamic, but we can all contribute to our local Ideal Org and get everyone moving up the Bridge faster โ€“ totally KSW! I can help you find the right terminal, just ask!

        • Truthiwant

          Sign me up. I’m ready to go back.
          Can you explain your name?
          I like satire but I haven’t quite cllcked on your humour.

          • Viewpoint of Dementia

            Truthiwant, LRH was the first to accurately define “space”. Per his brilliant work, Understanding the E-meter, space is a “viewpoint of dimension”: there is no space without viewpoint, there is no space without points to view. I had to slightly change my name so as not to infringe on RTC trademarks, don’t need a KR sent to COB!

            • Truthiwant

              You’re relating parrot fashion LRH and it sounds amusing and then…?

            • Viewpoint of Dementia

              We call it perfect duplication of Source!

            • sugarplumfairy

              “I know it’s back flash! That’s what I said, Parrot!”

            • Truthiwant

              There’s one to watch out for. I still don’t quite get the humour. Oh, well, he’ll be back I presume.

            • Sunny Sands

              You write a little like Vance …I like it.

      • 0tessa

        It’s a scilon under-cover. A very 1.1 one.

        • Viewpoint of Dementia

          0tessa, I’ll have you know that I spend most of my time at 40.0 Serenity of Beingness.

          • 0tessa

            You are kidding.

            • Viewpoint of Dementia

              This is where you’ll find me on the tone scale:

            • sugarplumfairy

              Turtlez!!!!

            • Captain Howdy

              Maybe, but I don’t remember Bill Yaude being this droll.

            • Observer

              Or quite this literate.

            • Viewpoint of Dementia

              I’m a totally new friend here, haven’t posted about the world’s fastest growing religion before, but I’m just so excited about our explosive expansion that I wanted to find some upstat terminals and get in comm to help dissem and KSW. If anyone needs help getting a second or third mortgage to help pay for your Bridge, I know a guy!

          • Espiando

            I’ve heard of some strange bar names in the past, but that one takes the cake.

            • Sherbet

              Do we know anyone in the Bunker who uses excellent grammar, can spell correctly, and is well-versed in scn jargon and acronyms? I’m blank here. Who IS this person?

            • 0tessa

              A scilon who thinks he is funny.

            • Sherbet

              You think it’s someone who’s in? I don’t.

            • 0tessa

              Yep. It’s OSA allright. He is disseminating like hell.

            • Viewpoint of Dementia

              Wow, you are so out-ethics. Besides, OSA doesn’t even exist. That’s all enteta from the psychs. Covert practices ended with GO, it was all Mary Sue!

            • Captain Howdy

              Agreed. It’s someone we know pulling our leg. Maybe your first guess was correct?

            • Viewpoint of Dementia

              Like I’ve said, I’m new. My OT VIII friend Ken Delusion said I might like this site, and boy was he right. Except for 0tessa, everyone else has made this a totally theta experience!

            • Captain Howdy

              Well, if you’re a friend of Ken that’s good enough for me. Nicely done ๐Ÿ˜‰

            • Sherbet

              OT is Gr8?

            • Captain Howdy

              Perhaps trying out a new bit.

            • Sherbet

              I give it an “A.”

            • Viewpoint of Dementia

              A as in “A to E”. Really, really truly, I’m a new commenter. But OT 8 is Great and Ken is one of the best dissems out there for get the real data to the public!

            • sugarplumfairy

              A+..

            • stateofcircle

              If I had to guess, I’d bet it’s Vance. Either way, I find it very entertaining and I am excited for moar.

            • George Layton

              Is that ken as in know?

            • stillgrace

              It’s Flunk. He can’t stay away. Welcome back, Z. Behave yourself!

            • Captain Howdy

              That’s a definite possibility.

            • stillgrace

              Oh, yeah!

            • Sherbet

              The reference to Ken Delusion is the tip-off. It’s got to be GR8.

            • stillgrace

              Sherbet, could be. I don’t have the definitive answers. If it is Z, we’ll know soon enough. I have to take off now. My baby’s graduating from high school this afternoon! (Not a baby anymore.)

            • stateofcircle

              Congrats grace!

            • Viewpoint of Dementia

              I would never impersonate COB RTC! Talk about a high crime. I’m just a super happy upstat Thetan that is so thankful for the completely workable tech that LRH gave us and for the high levels of confront that COB employs daily to keep the tech on-source and the orgs on-policy. I’m just thrilled to be working my way up the Bridge and moving up my IAS status! It’s awesome that I found this website where there’s such a great community of supportive beings to share and discuss the tech!

            • sugarplumfairy

              You’re frkng adorable ..

            • Viewpoint of Dementia

              Oh wow, thanks sugarplumfairy! I’d like to take credit for it, or say that I had good parents and great friends, but unfortunately they were all suppressive so I had to, um, “distance” myself from them so I wouldn’t be PTS. But the good news is that I’m totally happy being alone because I know my auditor and C/S really care about me, and I talk to the my AOLA Registrar at least once a day, so it’s not really that lonely. And now that I’ve found this totally theta group here at The Bunker, it’s like I don’t even miss my mom, dad or friends that I had for 30 years!

            • Sherbet

              Gr8 or Mom. My guesses.

            • Viewpoint of Dementia

              Sherbet, why is everyone invalidating me by trying to force me into other valences? I am a unique static, never before seen in this sector of the Interwebs!

            • Sherbet

              OK, sez you.

            • Viewpoint of Dementia

              Maybe if we did some co-auditing together, you’d believe me, but I still have high ARC for you!

            • sugarplumfairy

              Mom has the sense of humor but not the co$ lingo.. I wish it were Mom.. I miss her..

            • Sherbet

              Grammar and spelling are too good. FLUNK is pretty good, but not as finicky as this dude.

            • stillgrace

              He’s letting his inner anal-retentive out.

            • sugarplumfairy

              There’s three different Flunks.. Funny Flunk, mean Flunk and whiny Flunk.. Sometimes mean Flunk and whiny Flunk merge into one, but funny Flunk was always a separate entity.. Could be him..

            • Viewpoint of Dementia

              I’m not Flunk, although I heard that a lot on TR4.

            • 0tessa

              Much obliged!

            • Espiando

              Damn, you’re humorless, aren’t you?

            • Sherbet

              I don’t know. There’s an awful lot of insider jargon in “Viewpoint’s” posts.

            • Espiando

              Yeah, there is, but we all know this jargon too. Remember, in order to be effective Antis, we need to be able to speak reasonably fluent Scilon.

            • Captain Howdy

              When I first stared doing this thing on youtube 5 years ago, every time I saw a scn. related term I didn’t understand, I looked it up.I would hope everyone who is hanging out around here is doing the same.You got to know who the enemy is if you expect to win.

              Music break with Canada’s finest…Pray Loud

              http://youtu.be/gKBwI7M-Aho

            • Sherbet

              For me, scn buzzwords and acronyms are like the Italian I learned while growing up. I can understand it, but I can’t speak it. But you and Espiando are absolutely right. We have to face down scn on its own turf, and that includes knowing the language.

            • Viewpoint of Dementia

              I’m new to commenting but a long-time reader of Tony’s work. Like Will Smith, I’m a “Student of World Religions”

            • Sherbet

              I’m thinking of converting from my present religion. It doesn’t cost me very much, and I’m looking for one that will bleed me dry and offer me no God. Any ideas?

            • Viewpoint of Dementia

              Well, the first thing you should do is visit the bookstore at your local Ideal Org. They tend to be crowded, you might have to wait in line, but it’s worth the wait to get the facts about Dianetics and Scientology. Be sure to talk to the helpful Registrar before you leave with your new books. They can recommend some exciting courses that will totally change your life. I recommend the Communication Course, it’s just amazing and you will learn to sit still and repeat things and get your comm across to inanimate objects and hold anchor points in the corners of the room and, all I can say is wow! It’s wild and wooly and it’s the adventure of a lifetime!

            • Sherbet

              Visa or Mastercard?

            • Viewpoint of Dementia

              Bring both.

            • BuryTheNuts2

              Views you with the side eye….

            • Viewpoint of Dementia

              There’s a Rundown for Side Eye, I forget which one though. Maybe just redo all of your Grades; thanks to COB’s GAT, it’s impossible to overrun!

            • Imelda Marcos

              Like Will Smith, do you also think you could have flown the Space Shuttle just by reading a few manuals?

            • Viewpoint of Dementia

              What, you don’t? You need to get your ruds in! Review the Ship’s Org Book and you’ll see why with the right tech, anything is possible.

            • sugarplumfairy

              Whoever it is, they’re pretty darn funny..

          • 0tessa

            Then why do you have to use reversed psychology?

          • q-bird

            big whoop – I myself have been at tone 110.875 for 2.384 years…

            Now, I can actually move objects with my mind when I use my hands.

            • sugarplumfairy

              Lol.. Me too! I just tried it..

            • stateofcircle

              ^^ this

    • 0tessa

      You do your nickname honour.

  • ParticleMom

    This cartoon is new to me, so I thought I’d share ๐Ÿ™‚

    The picture isn’t showing up, so here is the link:
    http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-aHigJPlt-DQ/T8FbGQW_sDI/AAAAAAAALio/HK-HeZZVvGQ/s1600/scientology%2Bcartoon.jpg

    • q-bird

      good one Particle Mom – I’m just seein’ if I can get it to show…

      • ParticleMom

        Thanks Q!

  • Jgg2012

    I guess Hubbard did not invent ESP or Telepathy in a previous life.

  • Viewpoint of Dementia

    It seems like some of the commenters (and maybe even Tony) don’t fully understand why auditing is so effective. This illustration totally makes the science easier to grasp for new PCs:

    • George Layton

      Hey! Are those the Akashic Records she is cognating?

  • Imelda Marcos

    “the father turned out to be a bank president, and after the son
    confronted him with this information, he went apoplectic. But then Dad
    got some auditing, and everything turned out well.”

    How’s Mom?

    • 1subgenius

      I see what you did there.

      • Imelda Marcos

        I’m waiting to hear why. ๐Ÿ˜‰

    • stateofcircle

      Eeeeeeeeeeeeeexactly.

      • Imelda Marcos

        I used to work at a battered women’s shelter, this would always be my first question. Hubbard’s misogyny is hard to miss.

    • grundoon

      “Take it, take it!” She took the house, she took the car, she took Dad to the Org and left him there. In the rear view mirror she saw a cute young thing asking him, “Do you wanna see a thought?”

      • q-bird

        oh what a wonderful ending to this Abhorrent Nightmare image brought to us by scientology’s ‘source’ ~ the writings of LRH.

        Loathsome Ronald Hub-a-dub-dip-shit-fkin-TURD-especially-slimy-bit-O-Sputum hisself!

        Grundoon – thank you for this.

        This awful crap has been gnawin’ on me all morning & your comment is helping me heal.

      • stateofcircle

        My borderline obsession with trying to analyze, rationalize (I know, I know, you can’t rationalize the irrational) and just figure out what went on Schlubbard’s it’s-so-fucked-up-there’s-not-even-a-word-for-it psyche is once again ignited by his sick rape fantasy in this passage. He needed to feel power over women by degrading them. If memory serves, his parents were disappointed with his choices around 17-19 years old, and that, combined with his father not being around for stretches of his childhood (which perhaps stunted his development as a balanced man, with fortitude, strength and learning the proper way for a man to treat and respect women.), his mother’s disapproval of his masturbatory habits, and being surrounded by seemingly strong and intelligent women made him feel intimidated and weak, which made him angry, so he fantasized ways of feeling power over them by degrading them in the worst, most personal way. Being around so many women, he knew that bearing a child and sex are two very sacred things to women and things only they could do. So in his mind he would take that power away from them through fantasies of rape and violence against women, and turned a woman’s pregnancy into the reason for all of man’s problems instead of the beautiful thing that it is that only women can do. And to take his degradation and punishment of women one step further, he just MADE UP something horrible about them, stating as fact that most women try to kill their own babies. So this amazing thing that only women can do, that is considered by pretty much everyone to be a beautiful and sacred thing, that women suffer for and (in general) are so loved and appreciated for, Hubbard takes away from them, turning it into nothing short of the source of all evil that plagues man, and the women that do it into weak, selfish murderers.

  • George Layton

    THDNE are you still on here? How are you holding up?

    • Captain Howdy

      Give us a sign.

      • Sherbet

        Bury, too. Maybe the networks are down.

        • Sunny Sands

          Tropical storm Andrea has been cutting off the power and internet sporadically.

          • Sherbet

            Thanks for the update, Sandy.

        • Captain Howdy

          I think BTN is in a hotel, so she should be safe.

          • stateofcircle

            Anyone know why she’s in Clearwater? I’m not trying to be TOO nosey…just wondering if I missed something and she’s still active or something Sciloony…

            • Captain Howdy

              Something to do with her job I think.

          • BuryTheNuts2

            I am completely safe from this wussy wind.
            I am about to head to happy hour ( which last night proved to be quite unsafe).

            I am hoping for a repeat performance

            • Captain Howdy

              That’s the spirit! Fuck the scilons, have some fun.

            • TheHoleDoesNotExist

              Thanks for reporting in!

            • stateofcircle

              Have fun, Bury! And watch your back, those Oatee Ates can sense your SPectactularness and they will put ethics in on you….whatever that entails. Have a drink for me! Hotel Happy Hour = umbrella drinks wooohooo

            • BuryTheNuts2

              The first drink will be for you and then I will do my best to have one for all the bunkerites.
              Individually of course!

              I will do my best to not leave anyone out!

            • George Layton

              Good to see you two are ok.

            • aquaclara

              Thank you! Enjoy a lovely margarita on all of us back!

    • TheHoleDoesNotExist

      Back….had to take a nap. We’re good here, but having two tornadoes, one just 1 mile away and the other just 1/2 mile was scary. So central Florida is fine now, just can’t go over Skyway bridge, flooding not even that bad. Tornadoes all day long, mostly F0 and F1 and short so minor, spotty damages here and there in the state so far.

      Only been about 5300 customers without power in the county, a few in very southern tip, Tierre Verde, and majority in Clearwater Beach and western, beach adjacent parts of Clearwater. So Bury likely doesn’t have a lot of power.

      Hahah…and neither would the Sea Org slaves. Happening on a Thursday? That’s what they call a “Hill 10” pseudo military term for the real military term SNAFU. I’m picturing Bury right now sipping on the mimosa from high above looking at the Down Voter scurrying around with the other crazy ants down below. lol

      • Captain Howdy

        Good news. And it sounds like candlelight auditing for 2 in Scilonville. Where’s Jimmy Buffet when you want him?

        • Espiando

          Probably wasting away again in Margaritaville. You know how he is.

          • stateofcircle

            Eating a cheeseburger in paradise…hayoh!

  • Snippy_X
  • Snippy_X

    Nevada State Dog

    Boo the Wimp

    • Captain Howdy

      Ha, ha.. my cat sticks out her tongue when she’s happy. It’s freaking retarded funny and weird

      • Snippy_X

        Maybe she should be NV State Dog. Get her a pair of rose colored glasses first, though. She’ll need ’em. If they didn’t notice this Bill mattered, they won’t notice she’s a cat.

        • TheHoleDoesNotExist

          Are we stilling throwing suggestions for Nevada State Dog?

          How about the Venezuelan Poodle (moth)?

          [IMG]http://i39.tinypic.com/a5c56t.jpg[/IMG]

          • Observer

            You live!!

            • TheHoleDoesNotExist

              I’m pretty happy about it too! First day of hurricane season. Nothing happens in June!

  • whingeybingey

    Re: Nevada idiots. God, how pathetic. Who voted for those wallies?

    • BuryTheNuts2

      And my home state shames me yet again!!!

      A state dog?
      Seriously?
      Losers.

      • q-bird

        yay Bury! & THDNE !! Check – Check!
        Now need an ALL GOOD from Aquaclara & DeLizzy.

        (& i may be missing a few others from down that-a-way… hope all are weathering the storm.)

        • TheHoleDoesNotExist

          DeLizzy posted on today’s Cheer Up, Will Smith thread.

        • aquaclara

          Four inches of rain but everybody good. Thanks!

  • Viewpoint of Dementia

    Hey guys, from Tony’a post, it sounds like the Nevada State Legislature is totally off-policy and out-tech. Let’s help them get their stats up! We’re going to make sure they Have, Know, and Apply the correct technology by providing 2,000 copies of the LRH handbook, “Basics of Organizing”. They probably don’t even have an org board or know who the I/C is! We need your help! Each bundle of 25 handbooks is $15,000 (using my IAS discount), so all we need is $1,200,000 to get this done! Nevada needs us! WUS needs us! Who’s in?

  • KNMF

    Deride the competition, always. The scientology cult is battling for the same dollar that is spent on a shrink or a palm reader

  • ithilien

    Reading the blogging dianetics post again at the link above and walking down memory lane in the comments section. Not my memories but maybe yours Capt howdy and sugar plum fairy, posters already missing midwestern mom and others like THDNE, sherbert still posting and so many others i never saw before and who have stopped posting. Three years is almost a total turnover except for MK and other stalwarts. Did anyone ever find out who the mystery poster was? So curious. Sugarplum was the only one who got it. She had a giddy and cute sense of humor