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Bizarre and Pricey! Auditing Scientology’s Operating Thetan Level 2 with Claire & Bruce

WeirdSpaceClaire Headley is taking us on our journey to train as Scientologists. She and her husband Marc were Sea Org workers who escaped from Scientology’s International Base in 2005. She spent years working with Scientology’s “tech,” and was trusted to oversee the auditing of Tom Cruise. Go here to see the first part in this series.

Last week, Claire continued to lead us up Scientology’s “Bridge to Total Freedom” as we began our look at Operating Thetan Level Two. With help from former top auditor Bruce Hines, we learned about the incredibly ancient “GPMs” which lie in wait along our “whole track” as we prepare to travel far back into our pasts through auditing.

In fact, these incidents — booby traps implanted by “evil psychs” trillions and trillions of years ago — continue to be the source of our troubles today, and so it’s necessary to go back and neutralize them. Cowabunga.

CLAIRE: If you think this is a mind scramble, not only are you going to have to study all this theory, but then you’re going in session and you have to come out the other side with all the end phenomena of good indicators, floating needles, and cognitions.

THE BUNKER: And how do we get there? Well, we’ve carefully looked through the pages and pages of materials written by Scientology founder L. Ron Hubbard, and once again the magic is supposed to happen with the use of surprisingly mundane statements that we repeat, for hours, while hooked up to an e-meter.

To help us locate a trap laid into us some 40 thousand trillion years ago (the “House” GPM), these are some of the things we’ll ask ourselves:

“I should create.” “I mustn’t create.” “There are creations.” “I shouldn’t exist.” “I can’t exist.” “I must remember.” “There are memories.”

And so on.

Another interesting one is the “Psycho” GPM, which is associated with heavy explosions, burning, and pain. To track down this brain trap from your trillion-year past, you’d recite these statements over and over again while watching the e-meter’s needle…

1. To Die is To Live
2. To Live is to Die
3. To Surrender is to Victimize
4. To Victimize is to Surrender
5. To Lose is to Win
6. To Win is To Lose
7. To Despair is to Hope
8. To Hope is to Despair
9. To Be Ignorant is to Know
10. To Know is to Be Ignorant
11. To Be Stupid is to Be Smart
12. To Be Smart is to Be Stupid
13. To Disagree is to Agree
14. To Agree is to Disagree
15. To Detest is to Get
16. To Get is to Detest
17. To Hurt is to Enjoy
18. To Enjoy is to Hurt
19. To Dislike is to Like
20. To Like is to Dislike
21. To Hate is to Love
22. To Love is to Hate
23. To Hinder is to Help
24. To Help is to Hinder
25. To Disbelieve is to Believe
26. To Believe is to Disbelieve
27. To Be Bad is to Be Good
28. To Be Good is to Be Bad
29. To Betray is to Be Faithful
30. To Be Faithful is to Betray
31. To Go Crazy is to Be Sane
32. To Be Sane is to go Crazy
33. To Abandon is to Collect
34. To Collect is to Abandon
35. To Stop is to Start
36. To Start is to Stop

There are pages and pages of this kind of thing, all in L. Ron Hubbard’s handwriting.

Here’s one from the “Basic-Basic” GPM, which seems to go on forever: “Stop a receiving health to invent a rejected health.”

Whatever you say, Commodore.

Help us out here, comrades.

BRUCE: In the solo auditing, one is supposed to remove the mental charge that all of these GPMs have. So in session, one says the first line, with the lines below it covered up, and one should see the e-meter react. Oddly, the e-meter actually does react (and I think there is more than just sweat going on). One keeps repeating it until the e-meter reaction dies out. Then you move to the next line. For years there was a debate among pre-OTs whether one was supposed to say the words out loud, or to say them silently to oneself. It takes hours and hours over many sessions, usually, to work through one of those GPMs. Luckily, most often the pre-OT does not have to work through all GPMs, which would take months, but reaches the “ability gained” of the level after a few days or weeks of solo auditing. So, most Scientologists who go up the OT levels do not see most of the GPMs. The solo auditor is given the steps of each GPM piecemeal. As I recall, the “ability gained” for OT 2 is “the ability to confront the whole track.” The case supervisor who reviews the worksheets of the solo sessions has to decide whether the pre-OT has audited enough on the level to be allowed to attest to that ability.

My own experience was pretty anti-climactic. I was living in Los Angeles before I joined the Sea Org and did this at the Advanced Organization Los Angeles (AOLA). I did the actual solo auditing in my apartment, which was part of my sister’s house in Silver Lake. I think I spent about a month doing it, with a daily session of an hour or so. I recall trying to convince myself that I was becoming more OT — that I could make something happen by intention alone, or read people’s minds, or whatever. In retrospect, I did not benefit at all from it. It is interesting how you can believe that you are getting rid of all this negative stuff that has been holding you back for eons and eons.

CLAIRE: I didn’t really accomplish much either. Of course, a Scientologist would tell you this means I’m a bypassed case.

It’s a good thing I no longer care how others label me, especially those who know nothing of me and who have dehumanized me in their minds, as only a cult member can.

My problem with all this was that I simply could never try and insert logic into it, or question it, or anything else, or the entire house of cards would have collapsed all around me.

And already by this time as well, each OT Level had a minimum number of hours assigned to it. You had to have at least audited a certain number of hours before you’d be allowed to complete the level. As I remember, I did around 30 to 40 hours on OT 2. I believe 25 hours was the bare minimum.

And again, I come back to this: It took me a very long time to get myself grounded when I left Scientology. It took Marc no time whatsoever compared to what I went through. A dear friend of mine once asked me if it ever occurred to me if this wasn’t a huge part of that — in other words, I had done the OT Levels (up to OT 5) and Marc never did any. It really gave me pause for consideration.

If nothing else, this was a whole massive mess and on no level did I find it a healthy experience, if that makes sense.

BRUCE: In my experience, generally, OT 2 would take a person from a couple of weeks to many months to complete. No set period of time is given. It depends on how often one solo-audits and the length of sessions. I find it interesting that Claire was told there were a minimum number of hours that one would have to audit, as there is no such prescription in the things that Hubbard wrote about it. One of the biggest no-nos in the technical world of Scientology is to “quickie” a process or grade or level. So case supervisors tend to try to keep a person going rather than let them claim to be complete too soon. Of course, what “too soon” means varies depending on where and when one got auditing, and who was considered to be the authority at the time. In truth, the actions of auditing are far from precise.

CLAIRE: Each of the GPMs you listed had its own “platen,” a laminated binder pouch with the sheets and Hubbard’s handwritten or typed notes laid out in regards to each GPM. I can’t quite remember, but I think some of them had diagrams too. And you were given each platen, one at a time, to use in your solo session until you were done and ready for the next one.

And in terms of length of time to complete this level, with the theory we covered last week, I’d say 45 hours. The minimum number of hours on a level was a new thing that was put in place with release of the Golden Age of Technology in the mid 1990s.

In terms of cost, OT 2 is listed as $5,250 on my freeloader bill.

THE BUNKER: We’re learning so much from you two. Now we think we’ll go ask some of these questions and commune with our “Psycho” mind-trap set trillions of years ago by evil psychs. Scientology!

COST THIS WEEK: $5,250

COST SO FAR: $267,383.25

 
——————–

Discovery in Monique Rathbun Case Still Happening

Although Monique Rathbun’s harassment lawsuit against Scientology and its leader David Miscavige was thrown for a bit of a loop by the church’s anti-SLAPP motion, it hasn’t shut down altogether.

Before the anti-SLAPP motion was filed, the case had been consumed by jurisdictional questions (Miscavige, for example, says he should be let out of the case because he has nothing to do with Texas, where the suit was filed). To answer those questions, the two sides have been engaging in discovery, and we have a short update about that.

Monique’s attorneys have taken four depositions in recent weeks: Two Scientology officials (Warren McShane and Allen Cartwright), a Texas private investigator (Monty Drake), and a man named Steven Gregory Sloat, who admitted in a declaration that although he’s not a private eye, he was hired to spy on the Rathbuns by setting up cameras aimed at their property. (Drake and Sloat are defendants in the lawsuit.)

As for the depositions you really want to hear about, we’ve learned that former Scientology spokesman Tommy Davis will be deposed on December 4 in Austin, but the deposition for actress Leah Remini is still to be scheduled.

 
——————–

Posted by Tony Ortega on November 26, 2013 at 07:00

E-mail your tips and story ideas to tonyo94@gmail.com or follow us on Twitter. We post behind-the-scenes updates at our Facebook author page. Here at the Bunker we try to have a post up every morning at 7 AM Eastern (Noon GMT), and on some days we post an afternoon story at around 2 PM. After every new story we send out an alert to our e-mail list and our FB page.

 

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  • BusterCrabb

    Very few people pay full price for auditing, most staff / SO get it free and most others co-audit at a fraction of the price – please report all the facts.

    • Captain Howdy

      New account?

      Winner, winner chicken dinner!

      And.. you.. are.. IT.

    • Charlotte

      Hi, Buster. If you feel Tony has omitted info, please feel free to post it here. Let’s all play nice.

    • Zer0

      How is Miscavige dealing with all his mishandlings of recent events? Are the active members getting frustrated with his incompetence?

      • Bury_The_Nuts

        Eight minutes at a time?

        • GlibWog

          I had to think about this one darlin..hahha

          • Mooser

            An intemperate remark escapes all of us, or at least all of me, anyway, every once in a while. Sometimes the train wreck of Scientology seem to move in frustratingly slow motion.

            • GlibWog

              I have so much shit in my head Mooser.. Names, Dates, Courts, Players in this Opera

              I barely know where I store the facts.. sigh

        • Zer0

          I think Miscavige realized that pint-sized speeches were more suited to his stature as COB

          • Bury_The_Nuts

            It was definitely aborted………….as he should have been.

            • GlibWog

              Jeeze.. I upvoted you cause I love ya.. but Good Lord

            • Bury_The_Nuts

              LOL…..it IS miscavige we are talkin about.

            • GlibWog

              Let’s say I believe in Pro Choice and leave it at that..

    • SandiCorrena

      I believe staff works 100+ hour weeks with virtually no time off in order to get if for “free”; and then if they realize they’ve been conned out of the lives and blow they get a {freeloader} bill! I wouldn’t call either of those options free??

      • Zer0

        And PLEASE if any Sea Org or other Scientologists are reading this, Freeloader Debt is not enforceable, you DON’T ever have to pay it! Just walk away from the evil trap you are in! Freeloader Debt is a lie!

        • GlibWog

          This is true..and Here is a number to call for assistance..

        • SandiCorrena

          I should have included that essential little nugget in my post; thank you for getting it up there! 🙂

    • IASREG

      KR. That means there are very few public.

    • RMycroft

      I suspect I could find that post, word for word, posted to alt.religion.scientology over ten years ago.

    • nottrue

      Auditing drives people mad.

      • Zer0

        If it didn’t, it would be harder to get their money!

    • GlibWog

      Buster.. Could you elaborate?

      You posted 23 minutes ago… Are you just posting and running? We have questions.

      • Charlotte

        I hope ol’ Busty managed to get their stats up enough with that one post.

        • GlibWog

          hahah.. BUSTER HAS LEFT THE BUILDING…

          • Tory Christman

            FTR Busty—that is NOT a “Stat”…posting some crap and then blowing.
            Face it: you and your OSA Op buddies have zero TRs anymore. Why do this
            shit? You’ve proven, for years, your ‘program” is …to quote Anonymous: An
            EPIC FAIL. So? 🙂 Carry on, one and all and thank you for being here and communicating (the EP/End Phenomena) of the Communications Course and as you can see: you all can, ol Busty and others cannot. TT TT

            • GlibWog

              Yeah.. SO THERE! Hmmmmmmmmph

      • Thursday 2pm coming up! No time!!

    • Captain Howdy

      When you’re slaving 100+ weeks there is no time for processing, and when you do the co-auditing ‘training route” deal you still have to pay for the materials, books, tapes etc., which can run into the tens of thousands.

      So basically, you’re full of shit, Buster.

      • Tory Christman

        Buster *is* FOS, this I agree with you on, Captain Howdy, re your 1st part and no time for processing. (Read BlownforGood or “Beyond Believe” to get an accurate detail by 2 peeps who were part of the Sea Org, for years).

        I found co-auditing to be no where near tens of thousands of dollars, but then I did it on and off from the 70’s (meters were $75? I forget—but way cheaper) and books next to nothing then. In the 80’s when I co-audited FPRD, all it cost was our “C/S” time…which was $150/hr—and that lasted a long time. So not sure if the 10s of thousands is accurate. Correct me if I’m wrong in this new age. 🙂 Tory/Magoo

    • DamOTclese2

      Actually, very few suckers hand their money over to the crime syndicate for any of these frauds, most people read it all for free on the Internet.

      How much money did the crooks take from you?

    • Zer0

      Is this the New Marcotai?

      • Robert Eckert

        The English is more like a native speaker, although the use of punctuation is iffy in a typical Scientologist way.

      • Graham

        The real Buster Crabb was a British spy and saboteur. Draw you own conclusions!

    • Tory Christman

      Right….and few people pay for Airline tickets, either, or Trips to the moon, while we’re at it.
      “SO get it free”? Who the F*** do you think you are kidding? Most Sea Org Staff…99% are not
      even Clear. Most *never* get auditing, except the awful ‘sec-checks” about their inflated “Crimes”.
      Why don’t YOU report all the facts, and hey, while you’re at it, why don’t you learn them, too.
      Come on back when you’ve word cleared ALL of xenu.net for starters. 🙂 START!

    • How very true! There just are not very many “public” members (ehrm, victims) left to be fleeced by the criminal organisation known as the “church” of $cientology. What with David “he is NOT insane” Miscavige expecting 10000 for the grand opening and only getting a few thousand, this is painfully evident.

  • SandiCorrena

    DWTS Finale tonight; hope there is lot of Leah – maybe more interviews!

    • GlibWog

      Ohhhh Thank you Sandi.. Am watching for her!

      • SandiCorrena

        I was out yesterday so I thought I missed the WHOLE ending and I was so sad about it; it’s been good watching her positively bloom in her new CO$ free world!

        • GlibWog

          Yep.. just fabulous.. I will be watching the Exes.. that is 100% sure

          • SandiCorrena

            I’m PRAYING/LIGHTING CANDLES/CROSSING FINGERS that Leah will perform ROAR again!

            • GlibWog

              I put that on my i pod and every time I hear it I think of Leah and her strength

            • SandiCorrena

              I hear ya; every time I hear it now I cry (the heart swell kind not the sad kind)!

  • stateofcircle

    Apologies if this was already posted… And for my vomitting. Why, Laura? WHY????
    http://perezhilton.com/2013-11-26-tom-cruise-laura-prepon-dating-the-manor-hotel-los-angeles

    • GlibWog

      Why? Cause they have 2 straws in the Kool Aid Circle.. Perfect match.

      AND OMG THEY TRAVEL IN THE SAMMMMMMMMMMME CIRCLE! Give it up to both of them..

      They deserve each other.. Woo Hoo..

      • Charlotte

        I guess this means LP isn’t getting out anytime soon, huh? Sad. Maybe she was about to blow, so this was cooked up to get her to stay? Though, it would be really hard to imagine how they could sell ‘TC’s girl’ as a desirable thing to be to anyone these days. They must have some really big stuff on Laura.
        Laura, we don’t care what they have on you. Just back slowly away and embrace the fringe.

      • SandiCorrena

        It certainly rings true….it’s believable anyway!

        • GlibWog

          I don’t know this chick..Never watched the Orange is new black thingy

          • SandiCorrena

            I only know her from That 70’s Show

            • GlibWog

              Never watched that… but now I know who it is.. hmmm

    • Zer0

      If this is true (and I doubt it is), IF it is true, Prepon will get dumped.

      • GlibWog

        Why do you say that Zero

        • Zer0

          I always am right about these celeb pairs, just call it intuition… and totally useless!

          • GlibWog

            hahah I thought that because it was publicized..You know Cruiser is eatin that up right now.

    • DamOTclese2

      Sounds like this “Laura” person wants that assholes money. Little does she realize that that bitch Miscavige already lays claim to it all.

      • Zer0

        She’s worth about 15 million, but young and dumb enough to be infatuated with his ISA status, and yes, the asshole’s money

    • Qbird

      She has a lot of paperwork ahead of her ~

      • GlibWog

        OMG Q…hahhahahah Hilarious… Call backs.. hahahha All questions excellent smart little bird..xo

        • Qbird

          Baby. I did not write this up myself. I screen grabbed it… gosh long ago, in a previous discussion and forgive me please, but I cannot credit who it was that created this originally… it is excellent fair funny! To whoever it was that thunk it up – YaY … because it IS some clever sh*t that’s for sure. 🙂

          • GlibWog

            Welll thank you for sharing it Q.. OMG my hubby is standing behind me and just said..

            Wow.. That is a beautiful Male Mallard.. He is still lookin at your picture behind me..haha

            He is quite the Outdoor man..

            • Qbird

              yep ~ it’s a real pretty photo all right…

              and there are sooo many to choose from – gotta love zee birds.

              Mr. GlibWog’s a fisherman IIRC… eh?! I married one of those!

              & man i don’t know why i save this stuff ~ bwahahaha!

            • GlibWog

              Hahahhahah now that is funny.. ahahaha..

              Yep he is my fisherman.. so you know, you just know..

      • KJP in Portland

        Q-B This is so hilarious! I can’t stop laughing!

    • Robert Eckert
  • MaxSpaceman

    Child Abuse. The Cult of $cientology Inc. Child Abuse began with the establishment of Sea Org.

    Yvonne Gillman. January 1968. 45 years ago.

    “The children were in a new environment without parental supervision. Peter Jr. was fourteen years old, Terri was thirteen and Janis was eleven. Peter Jr. went to the main galley as pot washer and Terri and Janis were assigned to the steward’s galley as dishwashers. Just three young children, with no schooling available, they were put to work from 8:00AM to Midnight and told to get the job done. Sixteen hour shifts.

    Janis, then, was assigned to the Department of Communications. Part of her job required her to go into town to relay the ships telexes to WW, which meant that she had to either walk or take a cab to a pay phone. Janis would normally be gone from the ship for thirty to sixty minutes. After a few days someone finally realized how dangerous it was that an eleven year old girl was traveling on her own in a foreign country…”

    • GlibWog

      I swear to God every time I hear these stories I just get sick.. What an Evil, Evil Man.. Evil Cult.. Evil Dm

    • DamOTclese2

      Sheer luck that these insane Scientology assholes didn’t get more of their customers raped and murdered.

    • EnthralledObserver

      I did go read that at your suggestion – thanks – and was horrified. Another, what appeared to be loving very involved, family torn apart by LRonny and his evil and useless $cientology! Disgusting! The treatment of the individual members of this family was even more shocking… and all on LRonny’s watch! Can’t blame Makemerich for this, Indies!

    • Robert Eckert

      I did know that if you used angle brackets that Disqus would attempt to decipher it as HaTeMaiL, but I did not realize it would alphabetize everything.

      • MaxSpaceman

        Sorry, Robert – I don’t know which ” ” brackets you’re referring to.
        Decipher what as hate mail.
        Alphabetize what?
        You lost me here.

        • Robert Eckert

          Your previous post ends
          It appears that you wrote some sentence like “after a few days someone finally realized how dangerous it was that an eleven year old foreign girl was travelling on her own” but put it between angle brackets leading Disqus to assume it was some kind of HTML tag.

          • jeff

            refresh and it goes away

            • Robert Eckert

              Now he has it in bold face. Either he messed up the tags to make bold (which are without spaces and at the end, for those who don’t know how to do these things) and then edited, or Disqus had a hiccup.

  • DamOTclese2

    COST SO FAR: $267,383.25

    Hey! I could afford two of these!

    • Barbara Angel

      $cos are shameless greedy bastards. You could buy two decent houses over here (Aus) for that price.

      • EnthralledObserver

        Haha… Barbara, I don’t know where exactly you are, but even two lots of these prices ($500 000) is only going to buy me one decent house where I am. Maybe I should live where you do?

        • Barbara Angel

          City=Melbourne. State=Victoria. Country=Australia. Come to the Land Down Under, we’ve got lots of beautiful houses for sale. Admittedly same as the USA the more you have to spend the more fancy the house. Fortunately for us our economy wasn’t as badly hit by the Global Financial crisis. And we have really good Health Care here too, so if you want to move the only thing you’ll need is a “Sense” of humour. Won’t take you long to pick up the weird and wonderful Aussie’ism’s if you have learned $cos speak, then Aussie ‘speak’, will be easy-peasy.

          • jeff

            I believe EO lives in Queensland.

            • Barbara Angel

              Oh Yay, Queensland prices are not too high either unless you are looking for prime real-estate close to the beach with great views?

            • EnthralledObserver

              Your basic four bedroom lowset house here will set you back at least $420 000… and that’s not with a sea view. Sea view will add at least another $50 000. Anything big, new and amazing sea view will be somewhere between $650 000 – $1.5 mil.
              My house is old, crappy (probably blow down in the next good cyclone – I won’t be here just in case) and if you poison the trees across from us and stand on tip-toes can see a glimpse of the ocean and islands from the front room… is still worth at least $280 000- $330 000. Nothing cheap here any more.

            • Barbara Angel

              Sorry my bad, I was thinking along the lines of two bedroom, so that halves the price. Forget the sea views for me and only $cientologists are allowed to poison or remove trees illegally. lol Nevertheless its still doable, versus paying exorbitant amounts to $cos and then some, for not a lot in return. Yes some say they’ve had big wins, but as to miracle claims of “cure all’s”, well that’s just BS. Stay safe in your house, a top floor extension ‘One Day’ (? sigh) and you’ll be able to have see views. As for me its a 20min’s to see the sea. Not whinging tho’, Sth Yarra/Prahran is a great suburb.

          • EnthralledObserver

            I AM in Australia, hon! 😀
            I’m in Queensland. Central Queensland, coastal town… drive in, drive out distance from most of the mines… so our housing prices have skyrocketed. Good to know you can still get some cheapies in Melbourne though. I love Melbourne… such a great atmosphere.

    • Zer0

      I would suggest a Ferrari, in place of one of those

    • Snippy_X

      5 full time teachers for 1 year.

    • KJP in Portland

      Brother, if you got that kind of money, could you help me pay December’s rent, with a couple hundred for X-mas gifts?

      Pretty please?

  • ShoopZ

    Just a random shoop that has nothing to do with today’s blog entry.

  • richelieu jr

    That long list of counter-intuitive opposites is frighteningly similar to lists and games ex-Scientologists Charles Manson drilled his family.. ‘To die is to live’and ‘to kill is to love’ were in there.
    Death is Life , and Death is Love as well…

  • ShoopZ

    Roncognito…

    • KJP in Portland

      Shoopz, Shoopz, Shoopz.

      Shoopz!

      Shoopz!

      Oh well, maybe I’ll finish my sandwich later…

      Bwahahahaha!

  • ParticleMom

    The show “A Very Merry Unauthorized Children’s Scientology Pageant” is running in early December in Providence, RI. The CD of this show was one of the first gifts ParticleDad gave me when we were dating. I knew he was a keeper!

    http://thewilburygroup.org/

    • Tory Christman

      THE best show!! If you can make it AT ALL……………go see it!
      We saw it twice here in LA a few years ago.
      We all loved it!

      Thanks 🙂

      Tory

      • MaxSpaceman

        “A Very Merry Unauthorized Children’s Scientology Pageant does to L. Ron Hubbard whatThe Resistible Rise of Arturo Ui did to Adolf Hitler: It reduces him to ridiculous, contemptible proportions.” by Daniel Mufson, Village Voice, 2003.

    • MaxSpaceman

      By Daniel Mufson. Village Voice. 2003.

      “A Very Merry Unauthorized Children’s Scientology Pageant does to L. Ron Hubbard whatThe Resistible Rise of Arturo Ui did to Adolf Hitler: It reduces him to ridiculous, contemptible proportions. By casting actors aged between eight and 12, writer Kyle Jarrowand director Alex Timbers (otherwise known as Les Freres Corbusier) accentuate the puerile absurdity of Scientology’s tenets as well as the childlike naïveté of those who believe such nonsense. Learning of Hubbard’s theory about Thetan spirits banished to earth by galactic ruler Xenu, we become ever more convinced that the subject matter is perfectly suited to the realms of pre-pubescent rationality. Just as Ui doesn’t explain the complex phenomenon of the Third Reich, Scientology Pageant doesn’t probe the psychology of cults; instead, both demystify subjects whose appeal stems in no small part from the mystique their acolytes have attributed to them.”

  • media_lush

    Michael K’s take on Tommy Girl’s next Ronbot:

    ““He had David Miscavige’s bitches drag her ass to the Celebrity Centre office and he had a pen waiting for her on the table when she arrived. They spent three minutes signing contracts. After the signing, Tommy celebrated by letting the boys in the Scientology bath house do shots of vintage barley wine out of his b-hole.””

    http://dlisted.com/2013/11/26/laura-prepon-might-be-auditioning-for-the-role-of-tom-cruises-next-wife/

    • KJP in Portland

      He can’t even find chicks on his own anymore…Hahahaha! He’s become such a deluded $ciloon that he lost forever all of his interpersonal skills with women! All his money and he can’t get laid on his own! Tommy, you latent cornholio! You have metamorphed into one of the creepiest, slithering creatures to prowl the streets of the studios and Hollywood.

      Good luck. I hope your little Gremlin dictator friend keeps you well supplied with Viagra!

    • Jgg2012

      Is he jumping on couches?

  • KJP in Portland

    Good evening! (sorry, late again…truancy specialist)

    (((hugs))) and (((high-5’s))) !

  • richelieu jr

    Tony’s headline for today makes Claire and Bruce sound like some sort of Vegas act, “He’s strange, odd, a straight-out weirdo… She’s high-brow, high-class and high-maintenance… Birds like this never came cheap… so the chances of these two making a nest together were a million to one– Until the day their eyes locked across an auditing table and the e-meter did a rock-slam into Romance! Second dynamic all the way, baby!*, they form: Bizarre & Pricey!
    Highly trained secret agents for the IRS, using Freudian detection techniques learned in their weekend Psychology practice to harass and limit the religious freedom of a hard working scientologist somewhere, by Day–
    By Night they shed their grim suits for the sequins of Vegas where they get down like a hundred thousand body thetans faced with the confront of an OTII being cleared by CoB himself in their two person show, “Stop This Volcano, I Wanna Get Routed Out!”

    *(later episodes, when the series glow had started to flag, would include the phrase, “and speaking of babies, Who’s this little thetan operating their 2 way C.B radio system?”
    These episodes would feature 35 year-old child star Michael Cera as Elf Man super-intelligent baby whose mental powers have been unleashed by the powers of L Ron’s parlour tricks…
    When this too failed to raise the ratings,yet another cute character was introduced, a talking monkey who was once the chief enforcer for L Hubbard before taking over the cult upon I his death. Since then, in league with Bizarre & Pricey, he has been secretly running the cult into the ground.

    • KJP in Portland

      LOL, I like it, Cardinal!

    • richelieu jr

      (Unfortunately, Disqus won’t let me finish editing this– the talking monkey is called, ‘Chimpscavige’, of course.)

      • KJP in Portland

        You better let Missionary Kid get his hands on that one. The ‘name count’ is around 400 now.

        “Chimpscavige” the Talking Monkey…!

  • Graham

    test.

  • i-Betty

    WE BELIEVE THAT DISCONNECTION IS CRUEL AND WRONG

    Helpline:

    1-866-XSEAORG – The call is completely free and can be made from any public telephone

    If you’re a Scientologist reading this and you are having doubts about your religion, whether it be the doctrine, the incessant, relentless regging, or the leadership, but are afraid to leave because it’s all you’ve known, or you’re afraid of what to expect on the ‘outside’, please give the number on Baby’s sign (below) a call; it’s totally free. You can speak anonymously and in strict confidence to somebody who can help you, and will receive non-judgmental moral support, as well as real advice for setting up your new life and getting back on your feet.

    I promise you, the outside world isn’t the enemy. As in all walks of life, some people are idiots, but most people are kind, hard working, honest, loving individuals, just living their lives. Many, many people have already left Scientology and are living happy, fulfilling, peaceful lives filled with family and friends – old and new – who love them. They, too, felt your fears as they began their break away from the church. Some took a leap of faith and discovered that the landing was soft, welcoming and forgiving. Some needed to take baby steps. But they all moved in one direction: towards the door.

    For them, every day is now an adventure and they are the architects of their own lives.

    You may be feeling:

    Sadness and loss over saying “goodbye” to those ideals in the group you thought you could admire, the fellow members you thought were your true friends, or the time and money spent following something which turned out to be false…

    Fear, that this may have been your last hope for happiness, success, enlightenment, or your eternity; that you are no longer protected by the powers of your leader and are vulnerable to evil; that you will make bad decisions for yourself without the group’s guidance, or that you will be punished for leaving…

    Loneliness, at the thought of leaving intensive relationships, and now needing to reconnect with family and friends who live in a manner that your religion criticized…

    Confusion, about what to believe, and how to make good decisions for yourself and your future…

    Guilt, possibly associated with having broken ties to loved ones, or for having recruited others into Scientology…

    Shame, when realizing you were involved in an organisation that maybe made you behave in a way that you’re not proud of…

    If Auditing and Training are still important to you they are both available outside the church, but without any of the hoops attached which you are currently expected to jump through…it is cheaper, and there will be no sec checking.

    It might help you to hear stories from others who were in your exact same situation. There is a great website called The Big List That Left Scientology. Here is the link: https://sites.google.com/site/biglistthatleftscientology/ Click on the alphabetical letters across the top to find people you may have known, and to read some inspirational stories.

    You might also like to look at the “Dear Scientologist” series of letters written by ex-Scientologists which are specifically tailored to be free of any reference to OT materials. They are beautifully written and might begin to help you make sense of your questions and confusion. Here is the link: http://www.lermanet.com/scientology/dear-scientologist2.htm

    Last, but by no means least, the Freeloader Debt is NOT legally enforceable – that means they can’t make you pay it.

    Call the Toll Free number. It might just be the first step to the rest of your life.

    And call your family. Please. They never stopped loving you and hoping that one day you would come back to them. The Christmas holidays are near. Give them a call, send them your love. No guilt, no shame.

    We wish you so much luck and love.

  • valshifter

    I just went by Hollywood blvd and they were making stress (make believe) test with the new meter and pushing dianetics in Arabic, really? now they are aiming at alkaeda, seems like they need more violent defectors to quicken de downward spiral the cult is in. good for them.

    • Bury_The_Nuts

      Wow, that takes pathetic to new lows!

  • ClamInAHalfshell

    To be sane is to be crazy?
    To be faithful is to betray?

    …That explains A LOT.