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Scientology Sunday Funnies: Kirstie Alley is now Super Powered!

Kirstie_Alley_LRHWe’re going to start out this installment of Sunday Funnies with a tip we received from one of our best sources. We’re told that on Friday night, the Flag graduation ceremony in Clearwater, Florida was graced by the presence of none other than super celebrity Scientologist and television actress Kirstie Alley!

Hey, didn’t Kirstie just graduate from OT 7 not very long ago? Yes, we told you that she and Nancy Cartwright and Kelly Preston had all finished recently after being “on the level” as they say. Well, it turns out that Kirstie’s been really busy with her L. Ron Hubbard studies lately, as she was on stage at Flag Friday to celebrate her ascension to SUPER POWER!

Now, before you go assuming that Kirstie can now leap tall buildings in a single bound, we’ll just remind you that what Kirstie actually just paid tens of thousands of dollars for is spelled out in dreary detail in a leak by independent Scientologists, and our own piece on just one of Super Power’s dozen rundowns. We’d like to think Kirstie got a nice soak in the oiliness table, but it’s more likely her experience involves holding the cans of an e-meter and answering the question “Where do you feel safe?” about a bajillion times. We’re sure it was worth every penny.

 
Speaking of Scientology divas, Stacy Francis is helping out with LA United! Go Valley!

 

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StacyFrancisLA

 
No way, Chill was in SF last night? Did the anons there get a glimpse of his chin tentacles?

 
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Another major blowout in the Valley. Just look at the size of that crowd.

 
halloween recap

 
Yeah, dude. We have some exes around here who can talk to you about the “lifetime” part of that IAS membership.

 
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Hey, don’t roast any hedgehogs.

 
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Hey, it’s been a year since Super Power opened! Shouldn’t the Garcias be invited?

 
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It’s not often we hear from Kansas City. Go Royals!

 
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Mike Rinder posted this at his blog, but we think the despicable use of children for fundraising calls for a posting here. Becoming a “Patron” of the IAS requires a donation of $50,000 which, if this tyke’s parents invested now, might grow to a pretty darn sizable college fund. But let’s give it to David Miscavige instead!

 
liam

 
Stan Gerson shows you Scientology’s sleight of hand! Maybe?

 
magic seminar

 
The Wizard of Cause! Now that’s a slogan.

 
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You can just see the OT Committee strategizing: “How do we find anyone under 50 who hasn’t Googled ‘Scientology’ to give us tens of thousands of dollars?”

 
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More kids used for fundraising.

 
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And finally, more Stan Gerson!

 
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Thanks again to our great tipsters!

 
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Paul Haggis in the Telegraph

Some great quotes here from Paul Haggis in an interview which reveals what a humble and self-effacing human being he is. We’re proud to to know him.

 
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Posted by Tony Ortega on November 9, 2014 at 07:00

E-mail your tips and story ideas to tonyo94@gmail.com or follow us on Twitter. We post behind-the-scenes updates at our Facebook author page. Here at the Bunker we try to have a post up every morning at 7 AM Eastern (Noon GMT), and on some days we post an afternoon story at around 2 PM. After every new story we send out an alert to our e-mail list and our FB page.

Learn about Scientology with our numerous series with experts…

BLOGGING DIANETICS (We read Scientology’s founding text) 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25

UP THE BRIDGE (Claire Headley and Bruce Hines train us as Scientologists) 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48

GETTING OUR ETHICS IN (Jefferson Hawkins explains Scientology’s system of justice) 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14

SCIENTOLOGY MYTHBUSTING (Historian Jon Atack discusses key Scientology concepts) 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49

PZ Myers reads L. Ron Hubbard’s “A History of Man” | Scientology’s Master Spies | Scientology’s Private Dancer
The Underground Bunker’s Official Theme Song | The Underground Bunker FAQ

 

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