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Sunday Funnies: Scientology is finger lickin’ good!

Jim_MeskimenHey, it’s another Sunday and we have another set of Scientology fundraising fliers that our great tipsters have forwarded to us. We just love to share these items with our readers, who do such a great job of pulling out details and clues to what the church is really up to.

Over time, these fliers have given us a great chance to watch Scientology sink into its mad obsession with its “Ideal” projects as its membership dwindles. And this week is no different!

First up, we have another fun video from those crazy kids in Atlanta.

Having already broken the record for the greatest Scientology video in the history of Scientology videos, the folks in Atlanta obviously knew they could dial it back a few notches for something a bit more traditional.

But that doesn’t mean there aren’t some nice touches in here. Heck, this one even has Colonel Sanders in it!

 

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Mike Rinder already posted this next flier over at his blog, but we wanted to make sure everyone saw it. It’s always fun to see the church refer to Nancy “Bart Simpson” Cartwright by her cute Scientology code name, “Her Royal Governor of the Vast Valley Territory.” And hey, look, it’s her birthday! You can make her happy by donating as many dollars as the year of her birth, 1957. (Which, add – subtract – carry the remainder, means she’s 57 years old! Shhhhh!) But wait a minute, Nancy’s actually a thetan who’s several quadrillion years old. So get those donations UP!

 
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The Chisholms are going to bring us out of the mud!

 
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Another young one who’s already been in Scientology so long he dishes word salad like a chef…

 
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Another planet-clearing gala coming on November 15!

 
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Atlanta has its construction documents, and Colonel Sanders is fried!

 
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Portland has job openings, y’all! And it’s going Saint Hill sized! Shya right.

 
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Ha ha ha ha! Valley is still begging for money and only “Nancy” — (Shhhhh! Don’t say her full name!) is the only sucker to pony up the big cash!

 
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Kaylene ain’t holding back no more, yo…

 
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Megan’s DRD was so A to B!

 
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Fearless Leader is back! It just isn’t the same around here without him.

 
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We get all tingly when Scientology starts talking about “interfaith” activities. And hey, Tim Bowles!

 
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Hey, you’ll be able to see the new Silicon Valley Ideal Org from the 101 freeway! Give us your money!

 
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And finally, if you put an Ideal Org in Silicon Valley, with so many important tech companies nearby then…. something’s bound to happen! Right? Right?

 
svsr

 
Thanks again to our great tipsters!

 
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Posted by Tony Ortega on November 2, 2014 at 07:00

E-mail your tips and story ideas to tonyo94@gmail.com or follow us on Twitter. We post behind-the-scenes updates at our Facebook author page. Here at the Bunker we try to have a post up every morning at 7 AM Eastern (Noon GMT), and on some days we post an afternoon story at around 2 PM. After every new story we send out an alert to our e-mail list and our FB page.

Learn about Scientology with our numerous series with experts…

BLOGGING DIANETICS (We read Scientology’s founding text) 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25

UP THE BRIDGE (Claire Headley and Bruce Hines train us as Scientologists) 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48

GETTING OUR ETHICS IN (Jefferson Hawkins explains Scientology’s system of justice) 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14

SCIENTOLOGY MYTHBUSTING (Historian Jon Atack discusses key Scientology concepts) 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49

PZ Myers reads L. Ron Hubbard’s “A History of Man” | Scientology’s Master Spies | Scientology’s Private Dancer
The Underground Bunker’s Official Theme Song | The Underground Bunker FAQ

 

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