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Scientology Sunday Funnies: Turning begging for cash into an art form

Mike_SpurgeonWelcome to another of installment of Sunday Funnies, when we reveal some of the Scientology fundraising fliers that have been forwarded to us by our great tipsters.

As usual, the church is doing all it can to get its dwindling membership to come down for weekly and monthly fleecings, trying to attract them with themed parties made up to look like pep rallies where some big secret information is going to be revealed. In fact, the big secret is that you’re required to write an even bigger check than the last time!

Let’s start this week in Silicon Valley, where we’ve been looking forward to seeing the morning-after photos of the big Gladiator-themed party that featured comedian Jim Meskimen, Scientology fanatic and son to actress Marion Ross. Those tech-heads really know how to party!

 
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Last night in Silicon Valley: The “safepointing” of Google and YouTube continues!

 
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Hey, here’s an e-mail address where you can send in what you’ve learned about Scientology!

 
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Tampa rocks! So how many of these statements are actually true?

 
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Canada is going OT! Maybe they’ll even vote for independence and break away from the United States!

 
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Play your part in Earth’s future!

 
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Remember about a year ago, when the Portland Org was like the most important thing on the planet? Now, not so much.

 
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We didn’t bother to IMDB this guy. We figure our readers will!

 
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Leanne Hutton wants to give your case a free analysis!

 
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Headline says Nepal, story says Thailand. Say what? Also: Hymn of Asia a big hit with Buddhists has to be the tall tale of the month.

 
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Oy. Another fleecing in the Valley so soon? Wasn’t the “Autumn Gala” in September stupendous enough?

 
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Rudy’s on board!

 
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Two more mysterious appeals from Scotland. Hey, by the way, did Fearless Leader vote ‘yes’ or ‘no’?

 
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Ha! A new ploy. You need to come down to the org to vote on something. Because Scientology is a democracy! Wow, that’s sneaky.

 
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Thanks again to our great tipsters!

 
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Posted by Tony Ortega on September 21, 2014 at 07:00

E-mail your tips and story ideas to tonyo94@gmail.com or follow us on Twitter. We post behind-the-scenes updates at our Facebook author page. Here at the Bunker we try to have a post up every morning at 7 AM Eastern (Noon GMT), and on some days we post an afternoon story at around 2 PM. After every new story we send out an alert to our e-mail list and our FB page.

Learn about Scientology with our numerous series with experts…

BLOGGING DIANETICS (We read Scientology’s founding text) 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25

UP THE BRIDGE (Claire Headley and Bruce Hines train us as Scientologists) 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48

GETTING OUR ETHICS IN (Jefferson Hawkins explains Scientology’s system of justice) 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14

SCIENTOLOGY MYTHBUSTING (Historian Jon Atack discusses key Scientology concepts) 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49

PZ Myers reads L. Ron Hubbard’s “A History of Man” | Scientology’s Master Spies | Scientology’s Private Dancer
The Underground Bunker’s Official Theme Song | The Underground Bunker FAQ

 

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