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Scientology ethics: Raising money from Ferguson and swiping J.K. Rowling’s image


Scientologists call themselves “the most ethical people on the planet” because, well, founder L. Ron Hubbard told them to say that, and Ron had a great talent for saying things that were the complete opposite of what they meant.

Anyway, it’s always fun to keep in mind that Scientologists believe they’re more ethical than the rest of us when in fact they’re so truthy and fraudy. And that only seems to be picking up speed now that the organization is getting increasingly desperate. Thanks to our great tipsters, we have a couple of memorable examples to share with you.

First, we were tipped that Scientology’s drug rehab in Egypt (there’s a Narconon in Egypt? We had no idea) put the advertisement you see above on its Facebook page.

Really, Scientology? J.K. Rowling, the author of the Harry Potter series and one of the most successful writers of all time, is now endorsing your unscientific and embattled drug rehab program?

We had an inkling that might not be the case, so we notified Ms. Rowling’s representatives. They were pretty tight-lipped with us, but after we received the following e-mail, we have a feeling “Narconon Egypt” is going to be getting a talking to…


Dear Tony

Your email has been passed onto us, as we handle the PR for J.K. Rowling.

Thank you for drawing our attention to this advert. The matter is being looked into, but we won’t be commenting further.


Nicky Stonehill
StonehillSalt PR

Meanwhile, Scientology never saw a large-scale human tragedy that it couldn’t try to exploit. We’ve already written about the local Scientologists in St. Louis handing out copies of The Way to Happiness, an anodyne booklet that is intended to burnish the image of Hubbard among the unsuspecting.

And now, a tipster has forwarded to us evidence that Scientology, naturally, is trying to turn the unrest in Ferguson into a fundraising moment…

Dear Scientologist,

I’m writing to ask for your help.

You’ve probably heard news about Ferguson, Missouri, where a young man was shot by a police officer, setting off a week of protests, including incidents of violence.

Though the streets of Ferguson have calmed down to a degree, your help is urgently needed. This situation is restimulative for the residents of Ferguson as well as the broader region. The sensationalized reporting of the media has only fueled the fire.

Journalists and activists from all over the country have arrived and are making it even more volatile. Protests have spread to other cities in the United States. Ferguson has become a nationwide issue.

Of course we need to bring immediate order and calm so that things don’t get worse. But, that’s not all. This is a traumatic experience for our region. The upset will not be over when the police and protesters clear out. There is a tremendous amount of enturbulation surrounding this situation.

It’s our job to handle it.

We’re doing this through massive distribution of The Way to Happiness. Having already reduced crime through large-scale distribution here in St. Louis and achieved a miracle in the country of Columbia, The Way to Happiness is the solution to community upset and enturbulence.

We’ve already gotten out thousands of booklets directly into the crowds gathered on the streets of Ferguson. However, we need to get out more–hundreds of thousands more. We need to inject sanity and truth into the scene and support the people of goodwill who are attempting to keep order in Ferguson

I’m asking for two things:

1. We need volunteers to go to Ferguson to do mass distribution of The Way to Happiness directly on the streets and door-to-door in the neighborhoods. This means face to face and house to house. The booklets can’t be distributed without people to do it.

2. We need monetary donations to print more booklets. We’re down to our last 15,000 and these won’t last long. Tomorrow we’re setting up a table in the middle of the crowd so that people can take as many as they want for their friends. We need many more booklets and this costs tens of thousands of dollars.

Your help matters.

We can do something about the situation in Ferguson, but we have to act fast.

Our help is based on common sense and truth. It contains no slant or agenda. We are nonpolitical and nonideological. We accept anyone of any race, color or creed. As Scientologists, we have a workable technology that really can make a difference.

But we have to use it.

Call Barry Coziahr, the In-Charge of The Way to Happiness St. Louis, at (314)398-7269. You can also reach him by email at

Your help is appreciated.

Very Sincerely,

Matt Hanses
Executive Director
Church of Scientology of Missouri

Scientology. Always there when you need it.


Posted by Tony Ortega on August 20, 2014 at 15:20

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Learn about Scientology with our numerous series with experts…

BLOGGING DIANETICS (We read Scientology’s founding text) 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25

UP THE BRIDGE (Claire Headley and Bruce Hines train us as Scientologists) 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48

GETTING OUR ETHICS IN (Jefferson Hawkins explains Scientology’s system of justice) 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14

SCIENTOLOGY MYTHBUSTING (Historian Jon Atack discusses key Scientology concepts) 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49

PZ Myers reads L. Ron Hubbard’s “A History of Man” | Scientology’s Master Spies | Scientology’s Private Dancer
The Underground Bunker’s Official Theme Song | The Underground Bunker FAQ


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