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Sunday Funnies: Scientology wants your child, even if it’s not yet born!

DuffsIt’s that time of the week when we share with you the best Scientology fundraising fliers that have been forwarded to us by our great tipsters.

These fliers give us some insight into how desperate the organization is as it tries to get more and more money out of fewer and fewer folks.

We’re also eternally fascinated to see who is still turning over big checks when it’s pretty obvious that Scientology’s apocalypse is in full swing.

But let’s start off with something that tends to get our readers riled up: Scientology and babies.

We’ve posted numerous fliers and mailers over the years showing that Scientologists are encouraged to get their infants — yes infants — involved in Scientology auditing as soon as possible. But why wait when you can get your little fetus on the Bridge to Total Freedom before it’s even born!



And don’t think your toddler’s forgotten once he can toddle. The Valley Org is planning an entire children’s wing!

delivery - childrens wing

And of course, once your youngster gets a little older, we know the best alternative to college or a career — join staff! Look at Qasim — he joined staff just two weeks after first learning about Scientology. Two weeks!


More than two years of weekly Sunday Funnies, and we can’t remember a flier using words like “our religion’s expansion.” Isn’t that odd? Is this new? Yes, yes, Scientology talks about itself as a religion to outsiders (for the safepointing), but this seemed really unusual to us. Pair it with what’s been happening at ASHO, and we can’t help detect some serious panic here.

asho invite

John Bruce is on board!


Has Her Royal Governess ever noticed that, despite its reputed large size, the Valley Ideal Org is going to be butt-ugly?

delivery - square feet

Detroit is picking up speed!


The Duffs. So LA. Can any of you exes tell us about them?

duff status

“Find out how Criminon Tennessee was asked to help with a certain group of inmates you may have heard about in the news.” Oh, that can’t be good.


All hands on deck! Gotta get the publics on board with all the changes happening at PAC.

la united ot committee-

OK first, don’t talk to us about New Year’s Eve — we can’t even deal with the holiday season looming on the horizon. And second, who celebrates NYE on December 27?


It never fails to make us smile when we see Scientology offering public relations advice. Makes us want to sign up for a public safety lecture by British Petroleum.


“I can move on the Tone Scale and not feel pegged.” You tell ’em, R.J.!


Hey, SF Anons — here’s the upcoming schedule!


Happening today at Saint Hill. We bet it was a hoot!

sunday service promotion

And finally, some wise words from the Great OT. Did he just give Homo Novi an excuse to act like total lunatics?


Thanks again to our great tipsters!


Posted by Tony Ortega on October 5, 2014 at 07:00

E-mail your tips and story ideas to or follow us on Twitter. We post behind-the-scenes updates at our Facebook author page. Here at the Bunker we try to have a post up every morning at 7 AM Eastern (Noon GMT), and on some days we post an afternoon story at around 2 PM. After every new story we send out an alert to our e-mail list and our FB page.

Learn about Scientology with our numerous series with experts…

BLOGGING DIANETICS (We read Scientology’s founding text) 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25

UP THE BRIDGE (Claire Headley and Bruce Hines train us as Scientologists) 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48

GETTING OUR ETHICS IN (Jefferson Hawkins explains Scientology’s system of justice) 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14

SCIENTOLOGY MYTHBUSTING (Historian Jon Atack discusses key Scientology concepts) 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49

PZ Myers reads L. Ron Hubbard’s “A History of Man” | Scientology’s Master Spies | Scientology’s Private Dancer
The Underground Bunker’s Official Theme Song | The Underground Bunker FAQ


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