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Scientology Sunday Funnies: The apocalypse is here, and it is ideal

PeriWoodIt’s that time of the week again, when we show you the best items that have been forwarded to us by our great tipsters.

We have some fun items for you this week, and most of it has to do with dragging Scientologists to events to get them to donate, for the umpteenth time, to their local Ideal Org program.

The Ideal Org push began more than a decade ago, in 2003, and frankly, we’re getting pretty tired of David Miscavige’s emphasis on renovating buildings so they can sit empty. And if we’re feeling fatigue, imagine what Scientologists are feeling after they’ve been pushed to donate so much money, time and time again.

Let’s start with a fun new video that highlights one of the new strategies to get these poor folks to keep forking over cash. Because there are so few of them left, this new push convinces them to “unite” in regional associations. In this case, in southern California…

 

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Wasn’t that fun?

And now it’s time for some verse from New Zealand!

 
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Peri knows Scientology is the last chance this planet has…

 
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Prayer shawls?

 
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If “A.M.Y.” joined the Sea Org seven years ago, how old do you think she was then?

 
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Fearless Leader rallies us against the evil forces of the reactive bank!

 
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Raising money for the Valley’s Ideal Org is changing the world. The world!

 
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More unironic superhero dress-up, this time in the UK. Sigh.

 
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Check out those stats! They’re through the roof!

 
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Finally, we were surprised to see something from a place we almost never hear from, Atlanta. And also, we marvel at the way Scientology can use a phrase like “triple humanitarian.” Mo’ money, mo’ money, mo’ money!

 
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Thanks again to our great tipsters!

 
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Narconon Arrowhead — halfway to oblivion?

Nice piece in the Tulsa World today by Ziva Branstetter, who we discussed matters Scientological with in recent days. She confirmed with Oklahoma state officials that they testified to the grand jury looking into claims of insurance fraud against Scientology’s flagship drug rehab center, Narconon Arrowhead.

We broke the news of the grand jury back in June, and we’ve learned that Oklahoma officials presented their case only after about a year of investigation, including trips to Georgia to learn about the Narconon disaster there that also included allegations of insurance fraud.

Branstetter smartly connects Narconon’s grand jury problem with the massive lawsuit filed by the National Association of Forensic Counselors. The suit involves 82 defendants, including Scientology’s leader, David Miscavige.

But the most interesting new wrinkle in Branstetter’s article is news that Narconon Arrowhead has filed for a new certification — as a “halfway house.” Oh, how the mighty have fallen. We need to investigate whether this means that technically Arrowhead would no longer be able to deliver its most vaunted service — Scientology’s Purification Rundown, a risky and non-scientific treatment of five hours in a sauna every day for weeks while ingesting insane levels of niacin.

As we saw in Georgia, having a restrictive license didn’t prevent the Narconon there from flouting state regulation and doing what it wanted to. But these days, with so much attention being paid to Scientology’s drug rehab schemes, it may be tougher for a place like Arrowhead to abuse a state certification.

 
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Posted by Tony Ortega on August 17, 2014 at 07:00

E-mail your tips and story ideas to tonyo94@gmail.com or follow us on Twitter. We post behind-the-scenes updates at our Facebook author page. Here at the Bunker we try to have a post up every morning at 7 AM Eastern (Noon GMT), and on some days we post an afternoon story at around 2 PM. After every new story we send out an alert to our e-mail list and our FB page.

Learn about Scientology with our numerous series with experts…

BLOGGING DIANETICS (We read Scientology’s founding text) 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25

UP THE BRIDGE (Claire Headley and Bruce Hines train us as Scientologists) 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48

GETTING OUR ETHICS IN (Jefferson Hawkins explains Scientology’s system of justice) 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14

SCIENTOLOGY MYTHBUSTING (Historian Jon Atack discusses key Scientology concepts) 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49

PZ Myers reads L. Ron Hubbard’s “A History of Man” | Scientology’s Master Spies | Scientology’s Private Dancer
The Underground Bunker’s Official Theme Song | The Underground Bunker FAQ

 

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