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Hey, you guys, the new Scientology E-meter is a hit!

UltraVIIIaOh, you naysayers. Sure, you made fun of Scientology’s new E-meters, the ones that were made years ago and then gathered dust in a warehouse. The gleaming machines that David Miscavige expected every Scientologist to buy at $5,000 each (and a second one as a backup). The machines that still, 60 years after Scientology founder L. Ron Hubbard first introduced them to the organization, remain extremely simplistic contraptions that measure fluctuations in skin galvanism. Or, if you’re a Scientologist, they read your mind! You cannot defeat them! They can see into your soul!

Ahem.

Anyway, the first reviews are in, and we are happy to announce that the Mark Ultra VIII E-meter is blowing expectations out of the water. How do we know? Because Bridge Publications tells us so!

Here’s an e-mail that Bridge Publications superstar Patrick Howson sent out to church members who may still be trying to decide whether to spring for one of these babies or pay for the last of those chemo treatments. Or grandma’s rent. Or junior’s college tuition.

Date: March 30, 2014, 6:29:05 PM ED
Subject: Feedback on Mark Ultra VIII E-Meter

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Reply-To: patrickh@bridgepub.com

Hi Dan,

I thought you would enjoy reading some recent success stories and feedback from people using the new Mark Ultra VIII E-Meter…

Best,
Patrick

A NEW BEST FRIEND
“I’ve been using the new meter on New OT VII for a week now. I love it! As for my TA, I need less lotion, less heat. The meter seems to not read as much body motion. The cans are lighter and easier to hold. They don’t even need to be warmed, as they warm up in my hands in a couple of seconds. The reads are the best. They are so clear they really cannot be missed. Instant is instant. F/Ns are F/Ns. No Q and A, no ‘was it or wasn’t it?’ I’ve had some of my best sessions ever since using the Mark Ultra VIII—snap and pop, just like they are supposed to be. I love the displays on the meter. Since I am Solo auditing, I can keep my eye on the needle and the TA at the same time, without shifting my eyes. It is easier for me to keep the admin since I don’t have to look down for the TA position. I can be watching the needle while I write down the TA position on my worksheets. I feel like I have a new best friend while I audit.” —J.M.

TEARS OF RELIEF
“I’m having great wins in drilling with the Mark Ultra VIII. It’s amazing! The needle is so much more responsive and there is no interference. ‘Loose needle’ and ‘wet hands’ are no longer a problem. My needle is clean and on the dial comfortably. Yesterday I cried tears of relief! I feel in control with attention only on what I’m supposed to be doing.” —C.M.

WE CAN REALLY MAKE IT!
“I am definitely noticing differences on this new Solo Course. Thanks to the new E-Meter drills recorder and materials and the direction from the supervisors, I am handling some confusions and false data which previously were completely below my level of awareness. Now we can really make it!” —A.T.

NO ATTENTION ON THE METER
“The Mark Ultra VIII is a superior meter. It’s hard to explain, but the first thing I noticed was a sort of silence or calmness while using the Mark Ultra VIII. I have no attention whatsoever on the meter when auditing.

“The promo talks about how much clearer the reads are. I am not an engineer, but there is no mistaking that these reads are notably clear. I have total certainty with this meter, and as a result I can just concentrate on what tech I need to apply.” —S.M.

A HUGE DIFFERENCE
“This new meter is phenomenal and is making a huge difference. It is very clear on reads and F/Ns. It filters out interference I didn’t even know was there, such as from body motion ‘aftershocks.’ I can audit A to B with it. It is amazing!” —M.G.

HIGHER LEVEL OF CERTAINTY
“Doing the new E-Meter drills with the new Mark Ultra VIII and the drills recorder gave me a new, higher level of certainty. The new meter is so responsive—amazing! Everyone needs to be trained on this new meter.” —Q.C.

MORE CONFIDENT
“Using the new Mark Ultra VIII is definitely a different experience. The reads are undoubtedly clearer and easier to recognize, and when you encounter body motion the metering is far easier than it used to be! To move on the new checksheet using the drills recorder and all these new materials is pure pleasure! I am uptone, eager to move on my checksheet, and I’m really progressing. My metering is more and more precise and I am more and more confident! What a wonderful gift.” —F.C.

—–

I am ready to help you in any way, so let me know if you have any questions or wish to order your Mark Ultra VIII E-Meter.

You can order one here directly from Bridge.

Sincerely,
Patrick Howson
Bridge Publications, Inc.

 
Well, that says it all. We can’t wait to get our hands on one of these babies so we can stop using so much lotion for our TA.

 
Extra note 1: The Up the Bridge series will return soon. In our last segment, we finished New OT 7, and next week we’ll return with another episode.

Extra note 2: We apologize for being so cryptic about the line of ours that was cut from “America’s Book of Secrets” the other night. It occurred when we had been talking about how everything you say in an auditing session is recorded. We then noted that when people defect and speak up about Scientology, those supposedly confidential and potentially embarrassing counseling notes suddenly show up in anonymous smear websites.

There are many examples of this, and last August Karin Pouw even admitted to the Hollywood Reporter that the church feeds information to the anonymous sites that attack people like Mike Rinder and Marty Rathbun. We wish that line of ours was still in the show, but it was still a hard-hitting program without it.

 
UPDATE: Before certain former Scientologists we won’t name get a chance to declare it revealed truth, we just want to note that the controversial Wayne Madsen has posted a highly dubious article about Scientology which merely repeats unconfirmed rumors about Arseniy Yatsenyuk in Ukraine and Andrej Kiska in Slovakia as if there was any solid reporting behind them. (See our previous story about Yatsenyuk.)

 
2nd UPDATE: Forbes has a really interesting piece today about a man, Aaron Smith-Levin, who runs an investigative firm which serves Hedge Funds to do research on companies they might want to invest in. Nathan Vardi’s story makes it sound ilke just a cut above outright corporate espionage, but clearly, what also interests him about Smith-Levin is that he has a background in Scientology. Smith-Levin denies that he has any involvement with the church today, but he’s in Clearwater and learned his craft by working with uber-Scientologist Kurt Feshbach. (Yes, that Kurt Feshbach.) It’s a decent piece, but now we’re curious about what else we can find out about Smith-Levin. We also find it curious that Feshbach’s firm is Falcon Research. Doesn’t Scientology dirty-tricks private eye Dave Lubow call his firm Falcon? (Feshbach’s firm is Falcon Research and Lubow’s is Falcon Industries, and apparently there’s no connection.)

 
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Posted by Tony Ortega on April 1, 2014 at 07:00

E-mail your tips and story ideas to tonyo94@gmail.com or follow us on Twitter. We post behind-the-scenes updates at our Facebook author page. Here at the Bunker we try to have a post up every morning at 7 AM Eastern (Noon GMT), and on some days we post an afternoon story at around 2 PM. After every new story we send out an alert to our e-mail list and our FB page.

Learn about Scientology with our numerous series with experts…

BLOGGING DIANETICS (We read Scientology’s founding text) 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25

UP THE BRIDGE (Claire Headley and Bruce Hines train us as Scientologists) 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46

GETTING OUR ETHICS IN (Jefferson Hawkins explains Scientology’s system of justice) 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14

SCIENTOLOGY MYTHBUSTING (Historian Jon Atack discusses key Scientology concepts) 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43

PZ Myers reads L. Ron Hubbard’s “A History of Man” | Scientology’s Master Spies | Scientology’s Private Dancer
Jillian Schlesinger escapes the Sea Org

 

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