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Sunday Funnies: The desperation in Scientology fliers is getting worse. Much worse.

GillDetailIt’s that time of the week again, when we share with you some of the great Scientology mailers and fliers that were forwarded to us by our worldwide tipsters.

You’ll find some of our comments a bit less cheery this week. We can’t help it. These Scientology fliers are getting so desperate, it’s really becoming embarrassing.

First up, a report from Scientology’s wuss. Er, rather, WUS. Which stands for Western United States. Which is a continent, by Scientology reckoning.

Rarely has the desperation been spelled out so plainly in a flier like this. Read that step-by-step guide for how to cajole your fellow Scientologist into attending events where they’re just going to be hit up again for large donations. Doesn’t really say much for the persuasive power of Scientology itself, does it?

 
2014-06-15 - mv launch

 
Is Erika really going to discuss Dianetics: The Modern Science of Mental Health? Even the parts about women giving their fetuses traumatic memories by spending too long on the crapper? Or how Dianetic auditing always seems to bring up associations with silent film star Theda Bara? or that homosexuality is a “perversion”?

 
EC-16Jun_800

 
Scientology spokesman Mike Rinder pointed out this letter from Valley majority whip Quinn Taufer. He reveals that after all of the crazy stupid fundraising parties put on by Her Royal Bartness, the Valley Ideal Org project is still more than ELEVEN MILLION DOLLARS from its goal. For that dump? You have to be kidding.

 
QuinnLetter

 
Party with the Wilsons, and find out how the Valley fundraising is finally going to get finished while chowing down on jerk chicken? Now that sounds like a theta time.

 
caribean-valley-invite (2)

 
Lisa has shot up three levels of awesome. But how’s her daughter doing?

 
lisa lindman staff success

 
Come on, Kiwis, just another $1.2 mil for earthquake-proofing! You can do it!

Hey, also, how did Alanzo get his name on this flier?

 
nz

 
The Gills are OT VIII and yet their testimonial may be the least inspiring we’ve ever read. How about a little effort, OTees?

 
pdu-jimvicki

 
Bailey must be seriously trolling with this account of how he joined staff. As if.

 
bailey

 
The last few Scientologists who actually opened their e-mails from the church and attended a meeting on the Scientology barge are going to tell the Valley idiots how to get their underfunded, way overdue new building renovated, and just like that, Los Angeles is the Scientology capital of the world! Well, if you say so.

 
la united otc-1

 
Thanks to our great tipsters! Keep those mailers coming!

 
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Posted by Tony Ortega on June 22, 2014 at 07:00

E-mail your tips and story ideas to tonyo94@gmail.com or follow us on Twitter. We post behind-the-scenes updates at our Facebook author page. Here at the Bunker we try to have a post up every morning at 7 AM Eastern (Noon GMT), and on some days we post an afternoon story at around 2 PM. After every new story we send out an alert to our e-mail list and our FB page.

Learn about Scientology with our numerous series with experts…

BLOGGING DIANETICS (We read Scientology’s founding text) 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25

UP THE BRIDGE (Claire Headley and Bruce Hines train us as Scientologists) 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47

GETTING OUR ETHICS IN (Jefferson Hawkins explains Scientology’s system of justice) 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14

SCIENTOLOGY MYTHBUSTING (Historian Jon Atack discusses key Scientology concepts) 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43

PZ Myers reads L. Ron Hubbard’s “A History of Man” | Scientology’s Master Spies | Scientology’s Private Dancer

 

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