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Scientology Sunday Funnies: The Valley rocks as the fundraising rolls ever onward

NewCivIt’s that time of the week again, when we reveal our favorite Scientology mailers and fliers that have been sent in by our great tipsters. And we have some great treats for you in this installment. (Oh, and happy Father’s Day, everyone!)

If you’ve been with us for a while, you know that our Sunday Funnies end up telling us quite a lot of interesting little tales inside Scientology. We get a sense for which groups are in more desperate straits than others. We see familiar names come and go. We can map which strategies seem to be percolating through the worldwide organization in order to maximize the fleecing — er, the participation — of enthusiastic church members.

So let’s dive into this week’s pile of Scientology fun!

First up: HE’S BACK!!

 
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We were beginning to worry about our squinty-eyed friend from Scotland. It’s good to see he’s back for more action. Because if it isn’t Scottish, it’s crap.

Next up: Woo-hoo! Shannon, great career choice!

 
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Here’s a handy chart to show how much money has been press-ganged out of local members in West US. That poor Valley project just never seems to get completed — what does Nancy Cartwright have to do?

 
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You know you want to sign a billion-year contract and join the Sea Org — it rocks!

 
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Millionaire whales David and Bonita Wilson got beached once again, and look at all the new names for Kristi Wachter’s database!

 
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Hey, here’s your chance to take screenwriting lessons from the person Scientology used to spy on the South Park guys!

 
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We’d love a report from the Jersey Shore, if someone happens to go by…

 
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There’s actually some really good stuff in this next item. If you ever wondered why Scientology celebrities never actually say a word explaining what Scientology is, it’s spelled out here. Scientologists are told just to get people to read the books — let Ron explain things!

 
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Another great career move, this time in Dallas!

 
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“Come as your favorite star!” Oh, we hope to see the results of this Silicon Valley hot mess soon.

 
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More than a year ago, we brought you the disturbing tale of Mario Fenninger, a prominent and longtime Scientologist who had fallen on hard times. So we’re happy to see that, perhaps after we embarrassed the church, Mario seems to be doing much better now, and has been getting recognition he deserves. See, Scientology, was that so hard?

 
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We’ve been looking forward to this one — the Valley rocks! Looks like a swell time was had by all.

 
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And finally, prepare your eyes for an assault. But the strain is worth it — it’s a goldmine of names and amounts. The Valley will be cleared in no time!

 
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Thanks again to our great tipsters!

 
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Karen de la Carriere on ASI

Karen explains Author Services Inc., L. Ron Hubbard’s literary agency…

 

 
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Posted by Tony Ortega on June 15, 2014 at 09:45

E-mail your tips and story ideas to tonyo94@gmail.com or follow us on Twitter. We post behind-the-scenes updates at our Facebook author page. Here at the Bunker we try to have a post up every morning at 7 AM Eastern (Noon GMT), and on some days we post an afternoon story at around 2 PM. After every new story we send out an alert to our e-mail list and our FB page.

Learn about Scientology with our numerous series with experts…

BLOGGING DIANETICS (We read Scientology’s founding text) 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25

UP THE BRIDGE (Claire Headley and Bruce Hines train us as Scientologists) 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47

GETTING OUR ETHICS IN (Jefferson Hawkins explains Scientology’s system of justice) 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14

SCIENTOLOGY MYTHBUSTING (Historian Jon Atack discusses key Scientology concepts) 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43

PZ Myers reads L. Ron Hubbard’s “A History of Man” | Scientology’s Master Spies | Scientology’s Private Dancer

 

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