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Scientology says it’s received $5.7 million from Google in advertising grants

Brandy_HarrisonAt a $100 per person event held in the San Fernando Valley on September 6, about 500 Scientologists were told, among other things, that Google has approved advertising grants totaling $5.7 million for Scientology churches around the country.

Also, that the Chinese government has approved Scientology’s website,, as one of only a few religious websites Chinese citizens can access without restrictions.

And that by taking over YouTube’s homepage in an advertising buy earlier this year, Scientology reached 46 million people with its “Spiritual Technology” ad.

These claims were made at the “Autumn Gala” of Scientology’s Valley chapter as it tries to raise about $8 million needed to complete the renovation of its “Ideal Org” project, a large and drab building at Lankershim and Burbank Boulevards in North Hollywood.

The fundraising for the Valley building has dragged on for years, which is embarrassing for an organization which has a greater concentration of Scientologists in Southern California than anywhere else in the world. Here at the Underground Bunker, we’ve printed dozens, if not hundreds, of advertising fliers over the past two years as Scientology has pushed and begged and cajoled its members to attend fancy events where they are pressured to donate large sums and get the building finished.

But what happens at these events? We get some idea through the fliers that Scientology puts together after such events, showing off the people who have earned certificates for writing large checks. But it’s always interesting to learn what, exactly, these people were told to convince them to donate for these projects.

Fortunately, we have a transcript of the presentation given by Brandy Harrison, the “Building Expansion Director Int,” (see above), which a tipster was able to get from video of the event (and which we were able to verify the authenticity of). Brandy’s talk is filled with enthusiasm about Scientology’s new progress with Google, Amazon, and YouTube, and also she makes numerous claims about the new TV campaign that’s going to be produced at the old KCET studios.

And of course, the people in the room were told that Scientology is expanding faster now than it ever has, a claim the audience seemed to accept uncritically. Brandy makes many claims and divulges quite a few new plans in her talk, and we look forward to interpretations of her words from our many experts in the comments section…

Here’s the transcript…

…how we focused on building the establishment of the org staff to ideal standards. And following that is your final milestone, your incredible grand opening. And this is where the excitement truly begins, as evidenced by every org that has gone ideal: It is a monumental level of expansion from day one.

The difference between an ideal org and a non-ideal org is night and day. While I know the Valley Ideal Org has been many years in the making. The truth is, you are becoming an ideal org at exactly the right time. For since the release of Golden Age of Tech Phase II, Scientology has expanded by 47 times.

[Crowd: Whoa, Wow, applause]

Now, that expansion is primarily from our Ideal Orgs and our Advanced Orgs. Ideal Orgs were actually built for the release of Golden Age of Tech Phase II. When Chairman of the Board RTC launched the strategy, he said that ideal orgs were being built for something greater to come. And that has now arrived. And this is even before we have released our international dissemination campaigns

Already the reach from raw public for Scientology has escalated to a whole new level. In January we introduced the online world to our new Scientology cathedral and an awe-inspiring view of the new Mark Ultra VIII e-meter. This resulted in people clicking on our website at a rate of two people every second.

[Crowd: Wow]

From there it was only a few mouse clicks away from finding their nearest Ideal Org and walking into the doors. And they did so, en masse.

Since the release of an introductory service xxxx we’ve had 73 times the number of Book One audit hours delivered. And we’ve had 20 times the number of life improvement course completions. And a new personal efficiency course completion every five minutes. All told the number of new people taking their first step on the Bridge has increased by a record 70 times.

[Crowd: Applause]

And as you know, once an Ideal Org opens, a full scale dissemination campaign is launched just for that org’s area. At the same time, all of the 4th dynamic campaigns are launched to establish the Division 6 for that ideal org.

In the Bay Area a representative of Google was introduced to Scientology and our 4th dynamic campaigns through the Stevens Creek Ideal Org. This representative connected us up with the department responsible for non-profit advertisements. And as a result, Google awarded us a $10,000-a-month grant for free online advertising.

But that’s not all because Google looked into the responses that we were getting from this advertisement, and they increased that grant to the Truth About Drugs and Way to Happiness campaigns, to $40,000 a month.

But that’s not all. The second man, now with established Google teams solely for the Church of Scientology, suggested that we might want to extend the same grants to some of our class v orgs around the world. We applied, and now today, every ideal org in the United States has $10,000 a month of free online advertising.

[Crowd: wild applause]

In fact, in total so far, we have had $5.7 million in Google grants already approved for our 4th dynamic campaigns in United States ideal orgs.

And now let’s take Amazon. That company started a program called the Amazon Smile, whereby they donate .5 percent of all online purchases to a charity of your choice. Amazon somehow acquired a list of 200 Scientology-related entities, including 129 of our churches. We were pretty astounded, as we did not register with this program. So we contact them to find out where they got this list from. And we discovered that an IRS rep who had been disseminated to in the Portland ideal org had sent Amazon the list of our registered charities.

[Crowd: Laughter and applause]

So we’ve now come full circle with the IRS now referring to us as a tax exempt charity.

[Crowd: Applause]

Then last year we opened our ideal org at Kaohsiung. With this the full Bridge to Clear was released for the first time in Chinese. When that org opened, there was a trend of media throughout Taiwan and across mainland China.

Now, China is a special animal. For those of you who don’t know, China has very specific rules on censorship, meaning that the Chinese government controls the media, all incoming and outgoing communications across the country. Specifically, they control what you can and cannot access across the Internet. Quickly, this is known as the great firewall of China.

[Crowd: Laughter]

Let’s put it this way. You cannot access Google. There’s a special version of Google just for China which is completely different than the Google we have here in America. You cannot access YouTube. You cannot access Facebook. In fact there are a number of normal websites that you cannot access within China. And this is a place that they don’t want their citizens hearing about other beliefs, religions, or human rights.

In fact if you were standing in mainland China, on your cellphone right now, you can’t Google the Dalai Lama. You can’t Google the word ‘evil.’ You can’t even Google the word ‘Ferrari’ because the president of China’s son drives a Ferrari and God forbid you read any gossip about him.

However, I am pleased to announce, since the opening of our new ideal org of Kaohsiung, one of the only religious websites that you can now access free and unrestricted in China is

[Crowd: Big applause]

And that is truly the power of an ideal org. Combine all of this with targeted dissemination, and you come to some incredible, real life-changing stories. Specifically one a little closer to home.

This is an excerpt of a three-page letter, a very heart-wrenching letter from a chief of police in a small town in Minnesota near the ideal org of the Twin Cities. And it reads:

“A simple web search led me to the Foundation for a Drug-Free World. I was looking to see what other drug education programs were available, and felt I’d hit the jackpot. No other drug education program available today even comes close to offering what the Foundation for a Drug-Free World has put together.

During my 21-year career I have been called to five alcohol-related crashes that resulted in fatalities. I have been hit head-on while on duty in my patrol car by a drunk driver and survived. I have been called to numerous suicides where drugs or alcohol were involved. I have dealt with countless drug and alcohol related domestics and child protection issues. I have broken bones while arresting people under the influence of drugs. I have entered an active meth lab where the toxic fumes ended my colleague’s career as a deputy sheriff. One of my officers was forced to shoot a suspect that had stabbed a small child three times while under the influence of drugs. I’ve witnessed autopsies that showed the affects drugs have on bodies. The list goes on, all in a tiny northern Minnesota town.

In conclusion, the Foundation for a Drug-Free World has put together one of the most comprehensive drug education programs in this country, and their commitment to drug education is clearly admirable. The time and resources they have spent on drug education is reflected in the quality of their material, the size and scope of their foundation and in the dedication of their volunteers.


Chad Loewen, chief of police, Minnesota”

So now take all of that dissemination and enter the world of social media. Because never have we been able to disseminate at lightning speeds as we have now in the 21st century. In fact, take the recent tragedy and protest in Ferguson, Missouri. If you’ve turned on the news at any point in the last month you’ve seen the photos and videos of these protests.

The Way to Happiness chapter in that area responded immediately once the protests started, with the distribution of The Way to Happiness booklets. This was given out to tens of thousands of people. and it came to the attention of one Jack Dorsey, Missouri native, and founder and CEO of Twitter.

He was in Ferguson, live-tweeting the protests, and was given a copy of a custom-printed The Way to Happiness. He immediately tweeted to over 3 million followers. And here you can see it.

This resulted in Scientology being recognized on Twitter as a fully authorized entity, something that we’ve been trying to accomplish for the past seven years.

Or what about the YouTube takeover we did earlier this year? For a full 24 hours we took over the homepage of YouTube with a special version of our ‘Spiritual Technology’ ad. It paid off spectacularly, with the ad being seen by over 46 million people. And here you can see, in live time, those are the people clicking on to our website after seeing the ad on the YouTube homepage.

The red is the ones who clicked once, and the blue are those who clicked further to start a course or take a test online.

YouTube themselves were very impressed that we had over three times the average number of people clicking onto our website with this type of ad. In fact, an average of five people every second of those 24 hours clicked on the ‘curious about you’ link that took them to an OCA test.

Now all of this brings me back to Los Angeles. As you know, we’re gearing up to open our own full scale TV studio, responsible for all international Scientology media and dissemination.

This is a 136,000-square-foot facility that will house all of our dissemination, our own TV station, radio, Internet marketing, everything you could possibly want, at a level which we have never approached before.

The last time that we did any sort of massive marketing was about 20 years ago. Do you remember that Dianetics infomercial that used to play late at night? The amazing part is that even today people will walk into the orgs, and they will remember that Dianetics infomercial. And that is the last time we did any sort of massive marketing. The time period that we ran that commercial was for one year. And within one year we doubled the size of Central Files International.

That campaign is one hundredth of what we will be launching when we open Scientology Media Productions.

So that’s why I say, right now in the Valley, you are truly becoming an ideal org at exactly the right time. However, this is just the beginning. See, the ideal org fundraising has a beginning, a middle, and then finally an end.

Many people actually don’t know this…

[Crowd: nervous laughter]

…but unlike some other Scientology fundraising activities, there is a completion to this strategy.

We have about 142 buildings internationally. Of those 142 buildings, 40 are ideal orgs. Once we complete every single org on the planet as ideal, five percent of the gross income from those orgs goes into a special account. And those funds are used collectively to fund the creation of brand new ideal orgs from scratch.

In fact, in an office at the international landlord office we have a giant map showing every single org on the planet. But we also show the next 50 new ideal orgs that will be opened from scratch upon completion of this strategy.

In places like Sao Paolo, Brazil. New Delhi, India. And many, many other major cities around the world that don’t even have an org to walk into.

You take a country like India. They’re responsible for 1.1 billion people, and there’s not a single org to walk into. So you are actually at a moment in history where you are setting the case for all of the rest of the expansion of Scientology to come.

In fact I believe that ten years from now, upon completion of all ideal orgs, and the creation of brand new ideal orgs from scratch, you will be looked upon as the history makers, the ones that set the pace for the expansion of Scientology worldwide, the founders of the ideal org strategy.

So now let’s take this to the Valley. This is the final step for an ideal Los Angeles. with all other class V orgs in Los Angeles ideal — an ideal ASHO, an ideal AOLA, and now Scientology Media Productions — Valley is the final piece of the puzzle to put in place in a truly ideal city.

You’ve heard it said before that what happens in California impacts the world. Well, there’s no truer statement than tonight, for we are one step closer to opening one of the biggest ideal orgs on the planet. An ideal org responsible for over 2 million people.

We are completing a power base for the largest group of Scientoloigsts in the world, and at a time when Scientology is growing faster than any other time in our history.

Tonight, you’re making history for the completion of the Valley.

Some notes for the new folks…

Ideal Orgs: Since 2002, Scientology leader David Miscavige has put local church members under intense pressure to raise money for the purchase and renovation of new “Ideal Orgs” to replace their existing churches, known as “orgs” in Scientology, short for “organizations.” In the 12 years since, 40 of these new facilities have been opened around the world.

Golden Age of Tech Phase II: Everything in Scientology — its counseling “technology,” its rules and regulations, and even the smallest details about how to recruit and indoctrinate new members — comes only from “Source,” Scientology founder L. Ron Hubbard, who died in 1986. Current leader David Miscavige has twice made significant alterations to the way Scientology works, calling them “Golden Age of Tech” phases one and two. They’ve been controversial moves inside the organization, and have in part fueled an exodus of older members who still revere Hubbard.

Mark Ultra VIII e-meter: A crude device that measures the galvanism of skin, the Scientology e-meter is used during “auditing,” supposedly to help detect a subject’s unconscious thoughts. It’s also used as a sort of lie detector apparatus during brutal interrogations known as “security checks.” The new model costs members about $5,000 each, and they’re asked to purchase two of them.


Posted by Tony Ortega on September 16, 2014 at 07:00

E-mail your tips and story ideas to or follow us on Twitter. We post behind-the-scenes updates at our Facebook author page. Here at the Bunker we try to have a post up every morning at 7 AM Eastern (Noon GMT), and on some days we post an afternoon story at around 2 PM. After every new story we send out an alert to our e-mail list and our FB page.

Learn about Scientology with our numerous series with experts…

BLOGGING DIANETICS (We read Scientology’s founding text) 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25

UP THE BRIDGE (Claire Headley and Bruce Hines train us as Scientologists) 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48

GETTING OUR ETHICS IN (Jefferson Hawkins explains Scientology’s system of justice) 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14

SCIENTOLOGY MYTHBUSTING (Historian Jon Atack discusses key Scientology concepts) 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49

PZ Myers reads L. Ron Hubbard’s “A History of Man” | Scientology’s Master Spies | Scientology’s Private Dancer
The Underground Bunker’s Official Theme Song | The Underground Bunker FAQ


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  • Sherbet

    I’m not saying the Chinese president’s son doesn’t drive a Ferrari, but I’m wondering if this is the “scandal” to which Harrison referred.

    • Eileen

      Wow! I am sure you are right, which means that 1) Harrison didn’t even bother to get the facts right and 2) the leadership in china is a perfect fit for Scientology, lies and cover ups. If Scientology ever took over the world, the world would become like North Korea, much worse than China. “Picture a boot stomping on a face, forever.”

  • Sherbet

    The other day I spent $30 in Nordstrom’s. I had never been in a Nordstrom’s before. I can definitively say that my patronage of Nordstrom’s has increased 100% in terms of my visits. In addition, Nordstrom’s was able to realize a 300% increase in my financial support of the company.

    (I don’t know if the math is correct, but you get the idea.)

    • Jimmy3

      To get a 300% increase you would have had to have spent $7.50 there in the past. I think you’re lying about your ties to Nordstrom’s. What are you hiding? What are your Nordstrom’s-related crimes?

      • Sherbet

        So was it just a 100% increase? I’m really dumb about math. And my crime was hanging onto a Nordstrom’s gift card for 3 years and not spending it.

        • Jimmy3

          I’m bad about that, too. I still have a $35 gift card for Borders Books that says Merry Christmas and a Happy 2003!! Maybe I could have saved them if I spent it. 🙁

          • Sherbet

            So it’s your fault about Borders…Where are you going to get your lrh books now?

            • Jimmy3

              From this guy on eBay… One-stop shop for my Basics and my porn. It’s convenient.

            • Cosmo Pidgeon

              I remember that guy!

            • Jimmy3

              Me too!

            • Sherbet

              Cosmo looks like that guy.

          • PoisonIvyHerself

            Damn you, Jimmy3!

    • Juicer77

      Check out the Nordstrom’s Rack 🙂 Can score some pretty sweet stuff there on the cheap-o. I can’t breathe in the exalted altitude of the upper floors.

      • lucille austero

        Also online at hautelook!

    • L. Wrong Hubturd

      $30 at Nordstrom’s? You must have gotten a single sock for that little amount. Or a slightly used, lipstick sample.

  • TheHoleDoesNotExist
  • Sherbet

    Wouldn’t it have been delicious if, after Brandy Harrison announced the flow of grant money coming in from Google, someone in the audience stood and shouted, “Then you don’t need any more money from us,” and they all exited en masse?

    • That would require their customers to have brains.

      • Sherbet

        There must have been some brains in the room, but logic went right out the window. “Hooray, the church is getting all that money! Let me give it some more!”

    • PoisonIvyHerself

      Ha ha!

  • Artoo45

    Wow. Just wow. That’s some epic, weapons-grade shit sizzle. If you repeat a lie often enough . . .

  • Dean Fox

    The Google grant claims bother me, surely there is no truth to them? If so, what is Google thinking of?

  • nottrue

    Scientology you could get 1 billion dollars in free advertising online and it won’t help you a bit. The product you offer sucks

  • Deeana

    “….Scientology has pushed and begged and cajoled its members to attend fancy events …”

    I don’t know about “fancy”. “Stupid looking”, “pirate themed”, and “bizarre” seem to be the norm for the majority of events shown in their flyers!

    • Science Doc

      Scientology – The official pirate-themed UFO cult authorized entity of Babbitt Minnesota.

  • Times 47 — The crooks don’t mention that the number of court cases against them is what “expanded 47 times.”

    • Eileen

      Oh that’s what they meant, In that case they were truthful!
      I was thinking, they opened 40 ideal orgs ( since the time when there were zero ideal orgs) and maybe have bought 7 buildings that will someday be ideal orgs. That is 47X expansion. Those scientologists sure like to keep their parishioners guessing. Imagine being in the audience.

  • LordXenuCruise

    the first 3 links when you search are $cilon sites the rest are
    clambake, scientology kids, and other critical sites I don’t think most
    people searching for $cino are actually going to look up the scientology propaganda sites

    • aegerprimo

      Of course! WE (Co$ critics) know that… and we cannot help getting a kick on how the Co$ thinks they “own” the internet and Google.

  • Truthiwant

    What a shame that Scientology events are so religious in nature, rather than being geared towards a comedy stand-up format.

    If only Scientology had a sense of humour, then the likes of Brandy Harrison would go down in history along with the greatest stand-up comedians of all time, including people like George Carlin, Dave Allen, Ricky Gervais and Robin Williams.

    Unfortunately, Scientology does not have a sense of humour.

    It really is a pity that Scientologists are so dead serious about everything they say. What they need to do is look at the outlandish humour regarding Xenu and the OT III story, and admit to how wacky their religion is. Then they could really compete with all the best stand-up comedians in the world.

    • Science Doc

      One word – drugs.

      • Cosmo Pidgeon

        You say that off hand but I believe but in the 70’s it was quite true. Many of us had run the course on the drug thing…you can only do that so long….and Scientology allowed us to continue the spiritual outer space intergalactic travel we were used to and still be able to walk around.

        • Science Doc

          Great comedians of the 70s, drugs. Scientology, no drugs on the whole track, no humor.

        • Captain Howdy

          Wrong drugs, wrong music. If you’d been shooting dope and listening to the Velvets & the Stooges. none of this would’ve ever happened.

          • Cosmo Pidgeon

            Probably true..LSD, Moody Blues and Pink Floyd…although I might have been saved by the Rolling Stones and alcohol. But I will check out your suggestions minus the shooting dope part.

            • Captain Howdy

              I’m sorry, I should have said doing hard drugs instead of soft ones that turn you into cosmic silly putty. Look at the drugs/music the Mods, Punks were into and what the hippies were doing and look at who ended up in cults.

            • Jimmy3

              I used to do a lot of “whippets”… huffing the nitrous oxide out of cans of whipped cream. It was just a sort of soft, cosmic silly putty drug that didn’t really get me into any trouble in the long run. I mostly did them for fun and to kill the time while my batches of meth dried out in the oven.

  • endoftheQ

    47, huh? It’s amazing how many scams decide to end their figures and pricing with a “7”. 😉

  • Science Doc

    he sailors say “Brandy, you’re a fine girl” (you’re a fine girl)
    “What a good wife you would be” (such a fine girl)
    “Yeah your eyes could steal a sailor from the sea”
    (dooda-dit-dooda), (dit-dooda-dit-dooda-dit)

    Brandy wears a braided chain
    Made of finest silver from the North of Spain
    A locket that bears the name
    Of the man that Brandy loves

    • Todd Tomorrow

      Brandy wears a beaded Lynard
      Made by the finest slaves in the the RPF
      A hidden stash of toilet paper that bears her name
      Still all she spews is lies..

    • Espiando

      Considering who the man that Brandy loves is, you don’t need a photo. He could fit in the locket.

    • Vaquera

      “Brandy, you’re a fine shill…”

  • Ardent

    Is this crap about Google true?! That really ticks me off if it is.
    I can’t help but think that our Brandy is a wee bit delusional in any case…

    • Science Doc

      Rinder is on the case according to comments on his blog today.

      • J. Swift

        This is so luzly I can’t even.

        A post made last month on Mike Rinder’s blog shows that CCHR needs to raise money from Scientologists in order to pay wog social media experts to help Scientology actually use the Google grants:

        Dear Scientologist:

        CCHR OC recently received a grant from Google in the amount of $10,000 per month worth of Pay Per Click Advertising to be used in our Orange County anti-psych campaigns. This Grant will go a long way in helping Orange County residents stay out of the hands of the psychs.

        However, now that we have the Grant, we need to hire an experienced professional to get the most out of these ads for CCHR OC. This means constant testing and tweaking the ads as well as making changes to the landing pages, keyword search and optimal usage of keywords, tracking results, etc. This is beyond the scope of our CCHR OC volunteer staff skill set. I have shopped around and have found several professionals that would do this work expertly and are results driven and very experienced. This will cost us $1,200.00 per month or $279.00 per week or $40.00 per day to pay this professional company to help us defeat psychiatry in Orange County.

        In order to fund this we have established the following membership levels:

        OC Human Rights Member – $25.00 per month
        OC Human Rights Activist – $50.00 per month
        OC Human Rights Reformer – $100.00 per month
        OC Human Rights Protector – $200.00 per month
        OC Human Rights Patriot – $300.00 per month
        OC Human Rights Defender – $400.00 per month
        OC Human Rights Champion – $500.00 per month
        OC Human Rights Champion With Honors – $600.00 per month
        OC Supreme Champion of Human Rights – $700.00 per month
        OC Supreme Champion of Human Rights With Honors – $800.00 per month
        OC Human Rights Hero – $900.00 per month
        OC Human Rights Hero With Honors – $1,000.00 per month
        OC Supreme Hero of Human Rights – $1,100.00 per month
        OC Supreme Hero of Human Rights With Honors – $1,200.00 per month

        Can I count on you to pledge a monthly amount and/or help me get enough necessary pledges? – all or any portion of this monthly target of $1,200.00 would be very much appreciated.

        “…the psychs … have been on the track a long time and are the sole cause of decline in this universe…” LRH – HCOB 26 Aug, 1982 Pain and Sex

        This $10,000 per month pay per click campaign will go a long way to defeating the work of the psychs in Orange County and make our community safer and saner to live in.

        Thank you for your contribution. It is tax deductible and we accept all major credit cards. Call me today with your monthly pledge.


        Boris Levitsky
        Dir CCHR OC
        IAS Freedom Medal Winner 1989

        • Stacy

          Unbelievable! CoS found a way to turn a charitable grant into a money-making scheme. I wonder if Google would revoke their grant if they saw this email? Probably not. Google isn’t the most trustworthy & honorable corporation out there either

        • aegerprimo


          CCHR needs to raise money from Scientologists in order to pay wog social media experts to help Scientology figure out how to actually use the Google grants…

    • Free Minds, Free Hearts

      No the Google stuff is pretty much a lie, there are several posts below.

      Chukicita says, “Google’s Grant program is an in-kind donation – AdWords for nonprofits – not a cash grant (it really costs them nothing to do it, the amount they charge is fairly arbitrary and it’s probably a great tax write-off for Google) Interpreting the Scn-speak leads me to think that they are using the AdWords Express (when you don’t have time to do your very best) or GrantsPro services. I seriously doubt they’re hiring extra folks at Google to manage the Scientology files, as the speaker would have us believe.”

      endoftheQ says, “You can buy Adwords from Google, a word or phrase and it will be promoted and appear as a link in the search results. For example, your Adword could be Learn about $cientology and Google charges you a $1 every time someone clicks it. The two things to bear in mind are firstly, no one might click it and secondly, even if they do and land on a $cientology site, they may immediately click back, and therefore there’s no “sale”, ie. you haven’t earned anything from that click even though it’s cost you $1. You find even experts sometimes struggle to make Adword campaigns work, you could pay for a million clicks and still not have anyone buy. However, it’s like any business, if one click gets you a $1m sale, it doesn’t matter that you spent $999,999 on the campaign, you still showed a profit as long as your product is worthless, ie. it costs you $0. All Google has given $cientology, as they will do any certified non-profit, is that the first 10,000 ($1) clicks per month are free. ;)”

      I posted, “Google grants for non profits – “Google Ad Grants offers nonprofits $10,000 per month in in-kind AdWords advertising … $10,000 per month, which is equivalent to $329 per day… A $2.00 maximum cost-per-click (CPC)” Ads are text only. So it is not real money, it is in-kind advertising based on the number of clicks they get I think. It seems as though you don’t need to pay for the first 164 clicks a day (at $2, $329 a day). But if no one clicks, it seems it doesn’t do you any good.”

      • aegerprimo

        Good info FMFH! Thanx.

      • TheMirrorThetan

        Scientology lies? No Way 😉

      • Ardent

        Thanks for that clarification. Wow. You really investigated! Cheers!

    • It is worth asking Google’s PR department! Google owns the internet. So if there is a lie about them, then everybody knows it in the shortest time possible.
      47x more messages about the cult…hahahaha

    • Jgg2012

      It’s as true as the “47 times” expansion is.

    • TheMirrorThetan

      the first 3 paragraphs made me think that somehow I had skipped several months and it was April fools day again.

  • Gur…

  • Vaquera

    John Travolta defends Battlefield Earth: ‘Why would I ever regret that?’


    • Jimmy3

      Radar has a “John Travolta is not gay!!!” article up.

      I don’t know why the mods keep rejecting my comment…

      • Vaquera

        I just checked and your comment continues to be moderated. My thought is that your post was at an intelligence level that RoL is unable to understand, like dog whistles.

        • Jimmy3

          Hah! If I ever posted something approaching an intelligent thought, that’d certainly be worthy of a screenshot. But nah, I screen-grabbed it because after 2 attempts, I knew it wasn’t getting through. They’ve already rejected it, it’s not still in moderation.

      • aegerprimo

        Remember this article that came out in March?
        Bitch’s Wiglet Is Too Tight: The John Travolta Edition

        Scientology’s very own pretty, pretty princess introduced Idina Menzel’s performance of “Let It Go” (which is what Travolta needs to do to that wig) at the Oscars tonight and he couldn’t have screwed up her name more than he did. A slurring drunk with a lisp would pronounce Chiwetel Ejiofor’s name better than Travolta…

        • Jimmy3

          I did not remember, that’s a good find.

          • aegerprimo

            I keep track of these types of articles at post monthly lists with links at my Co$ Bad Press threads at the chat forums (ESMB, WWP, OCMB, RFTTP, ESK).

      • Satansthetan

        great comment!

      • Captain Howdy

        How can Travolta be gay when thetans are genderless?

    • J. Swift

      John Travolta: “”So, I have no regrets at all. And if we had to do it over again, I
      would still do it. It was a moment where I could say, ‘I had all the
      power in the world and could do whatever I wanted’. Not a lot of people
      get that opportunity, and I did what I wanted to do.””

      Aliester Crowley: “Do as thou will shall be the whole of the Law.”

    • Snot ropes!

  • J. Swift

    It is important for newer Scientology watchers to take note of the fact that “Expansion” is an absolutely core Hubbard doctrine in the Church of Scientology.

    Because Scientology possess the only safe and workable technology required to free people from the 75,000,000 year old trap and as Scientologists are the authorities on the mind, on literacy, and getting people off drugs, it is axiomatic that Scientology can only expand.

    Scientologists have certainty on the expansion of Scientology, and, certainty is knowledge. Therefore, what is true for Scientology parishioners is that their Church is expanding; the Ideal Orgs are proof of expansion. And at the helm of Scientologist highest ever expansion is Captain David Miscavige.

    There can only ever be happy expansionist talk in Scientology and Building Expansion Director Int Brandy Harrison knows this. Any unhappy, defeatist, non-expansionist talk is “forwarding an enemy line” and will be punished severely.

    Part of thought-stopping is to engage in only happy expansionist talk. Thus, even incidental or trivial matters can and must be spun into a highest ever and monumental proof of expansion. One example: In 2010, the Cult published a piece showing that 60% of the drywall in the Super Power Building had been completed. Never mind that the project had begun almost twenty years earlier, that fact was swept under the rug. The drywall stat was trotted out as proof of expansion and progress.

    • Panopea Abrupta

      You write: “Expansion” is an absolutely core Hubbard doctrine in the Church of Scientology.”
      Entropy is perhaps the finest expression of the kind of expansion $cientology is currently experiencing.
      I suppose he actually did pick something up at George Washington University.

      • Espiando

        The only thing he probably picked up at GWU was the clap. It sure as hell wasn’t any physics knowledge.

    • flyonthewall

      thnx for the SO propaganda poster!

  • Baby

    ” But unlike some other Scientology fundraising activities, there is a completion to this strategy. ” ( refresh)


  • And I don’t rent cars!

    Because I’m intrigued by all red heads featured in scientology fliers (well, doesn’t it all cross our minds that anyone with red hair would get preferential treatment?), I tried to find a bit more information about Sir/Ms. Brandy Harrison but haven’t been very successful. She is a second generation scientologist and a rising star who seems to have had a quiet but rapid rise to the upper levels of the Org Board as Building Expansion Director Int, i.e. basically a regge in uniform. What I’ve found so far is a little “natter” in the comment section of a critic’s site.

    Comment #1
    “TOP management, gag! That woman is an absolute fraud!!! That person was the mission I/C in 2008 to get Miami fundraising into hyperdrive. She epitomizes slime when it comes to regges and fundraising[…] the bottom line is, she “supervised” credit card fraud and irregularities of magnitude.

    She arrived in Miami Mar 2008, ran ethics handlings on the public and declared at an OTC meeting how the field was the most out-ethics on financial irregularities. But as I said above, she supervised HUGE financial irregularities. How ironic! When I heard she wasn’t RPF’d but instead promoted (in 2008 she was just the EUS Bldg Expansion Chief) I was stunned. At int mgmt it’s reward the out-ethics especially when it comes to MONEY.

    Besides her, she was aided by her mother, Peggy Crawford, another of the same ilk. I could go on and on, I wrote reports on one and all.”

    Comment #2
    “The RCS is not a meritocracy, it has become a moneyocracy. If you can bring in money, any way, any how and regardless of the consequences, you are worthy of moving up to small minion status (though to the rest of the world, if it helps get money, you will be “international management”). If you demonstrate complete subservience to Command Intention you will make the next step to full minionhood. And after several years, you become a fully fledged sycophant.

    Also didn’t know Peggy Crawford was her mother. Also makes sense. She has been instilled with the righteousness of a true believer and the morals of someone who will take, take, take. Peggy Crawford has quite a history of getting celebs to pay her to take on their amends projects.”

    Comment #3
    “Yes, have had first hand visual of her drooling around Kirstie Alley. I guess I never told you the “who” when talking about the credit card irregs. Last names used to be Shaw.”

    Comment #4
    “I went to school with [Brandy] at Delphi Oregon. I remember she was kind of an airhead… and she had big boobs.”

    (refresh) message for Brandy

    • Jgg2012

      “The RCS is not a meritocracy, it has become a moneyocracy” is that why they treat celebrities so well?

    • L. Wrong Hubturd

      #4 sounds like something a certain guy who posts here might say.

      • And I don’t rent cars!

        Ha. It wasn’t, but a few women joined in and the comment thread ended with, “Tits talk.”

        But I never told you this. Now destroy this message. Crumble it. Eat it. Swallow. Thank you.

  • nottrue

    ANONYMOUS {no words needed} ..

    • Stacy

      That was so not fair. I’m such a softie. Now I’m blubbering after watching this video

    • Juicer77

      That’s wonderful… but did anyone make sure he got into a shelter that night? It looked cold.
      Thank you, Anons.

    • Baby

      There are absolutely beautiful hearts in Anonymous. Just Beautiful generosity. Thank you NT

    • Frodis73

      That gives me a shred of hope for humanity.

  • Panopea Abrupta

    Red-X Red-X Red-X

    Reports that Usain Bolt has been approached by Niblet for coaching purposes were strenuously denied by the Co$.
    “Though we like his surname, any suggestion of sanity as suggested by his baptismal name is absolutely untrue.”
    It is thought that Oscar Pistorious is a more likely candidate, given Niblet’s penchant for footbullets and Pistorious’ track record with avoiding serious legal charges.
    Niblet may not require a coach as he has mastered the blunder bus.

    Get these ads before they run away:
    ty Baby

    • aegerprimo

      Red Xed!

    • Hyder Simpson

      Rip and I just just caught a bunch more for ya; scroll down from Panopea’s link.

  • L. Wrong Hubturd

    Full circle with the IRS? Shit, the only full circle will be when the IRS revokes their status.

    • Free Minds, Free Hearts

      ^^ eleventy million

  • outraged

    oooh, Michael K. is throwing shade at ScientoLIEogy.

    You can watch more clips of the episode here (scroll dooooown) or you can go to the lobby of the Scientology Centre in L.A. and watch hardcore Streisand fanboyJohn Travolta perform the whole thing by himself. “His Streisand is otherwordly!” – Xenu

  • outraged

    More useless idle gossip:

    John Boy rolled up the carpet. He looks so much better, it must be that dimple. Maybe he was hiding something in there.

    • Juicer77

      There was a lot of grey in the chin fur. He must have gotten tired of trying to match the amazingly dark hair. John – grey can be dignified and handsome, embrace it!

      • Artoo45

        John – gay can be dignified and handsome, embrace it! Fixed it.

        • Juicer77


  • Artoo45

    Maybe it really is him. Sweet dreams, everyone . . .

    • Cosmo Pidgeon

      I knew it.

    • aegerprimo


  • richelieu jr

    Have You Ever Been a Boo-Hoo?

    No way, Ron-ay! The proof is in…

    Why are Clams so damn happy? Read it and weep:

    • aegerprimo

      That was funny!

      The closed-off, hardened mollusks are no more discernibly jocular than, say, a marmot or a woodpecker. Limbless and awkwardly shaped, they’re ordained to a life of salty tides; brainless, they wallow in utter nothingness.

    • Stacy

      Lol hilarious! How could the author not understand that the clam’s happiness stems from its most impressive bi-valve hinge (or whatever the hell LRH described it as)!?

  • aegerprimo

    • aegerprimo

      Sorry, my internet connection is going crazy. I will stop typing now.

  • aegerprimo

    This article has Disqus comments and no comments as of now. Just sayin’
    Kate Bornstein is a Queer and Pleasant Danger

  • And I don’t rent cars!

    Here are some scientology facts about their online presence, taken from their primary FB and Twitter accounts. (I took screenshots this afternoon but decided against posting them because of the amount of Ideal Real Estate they took up in the Bunker.)

    As of an hour ago, I also checked YouTube: The CoS has 15,252 subscribers and 12,141,507 views. They joined YT on Sept. 2006.

    In comparision, Karen de la Carriere (Surviving Scientology) has 10,823 subscribers and 3,215,939 views. She only joined YT less than 16 months ago, on March 2013.

  • Observer

    Xenu help me, I have had this image in my head all day and I had to get it out. *refresh*

    • aegerprimo

      Beebahhhh. FART. Yep creepy.

      • Cosmo Pidgeon

        That appeals to me. But yeah, in a creepy way.

    • J. Swift

      (marvels at this latest Obs image)

      • Observer

        I don’t know where this stuff comes from. Maybe Scientology can help me?

    • Frodis73

      I luv this one Obs! This show is fascinating & frightening at the same time. First time I ever saw it I was very much under the influence of, well, a few things, and could only stare in silence at the tv for 10 mins.

  • Gus_Cox

    My God, I don’t think I’ve ever read a bigger crock of shit anywhere. All of it, bullshit. And they lap it right up.

    I can only imagine that *somebody* in that audience heard “47X” and thought, “that sounds too good to be true.” Maybe that person then went to Google, since it was praised so hard for giving them all that free advertising. At least, I *hope* somebody there that night woke the fuck up.

  • Panopea Abrupta

    What’s the difference between my friend’s car and $cientology?

    Her car had a failure of the exhaust manifold.
    The manifold failings of $cientology lead to exhaustion.

    The philosophy of this song is better than El Wretch’s fill of sophistry..
    The music is better than Hubtard’s Power of Source:

    • aegerprimo

      LOL that was terrible. Not as terrible as Co$ ads on Craigslist though.

    • 1subgenius

      This is the detour I was looking for to insert this:

      • Abstergo Industries

        Love Vanessa.

        • 1subgenius

          Where the hell has she been?
          We need more overtly sexual/sensual music in the world.

    • 1subgenius

      The Monks influenced everyone, and nobody’s ever heard of them:
      farfisa organ and banjo

      • Captain Howdy

        I discovered the Monks back in the late 90’s thanks to Mojo magazine.

        • 1subgenius

          I only heard them about 5 years ago.
          And now I hear them in a lot of other music.

    • 1subgenius

      Sorry (not really) to muck things up, but the creator of this, David Minnick, is one of the musical geniuses of our time.

      In this iteration he takes voice mail messages and turns them into music. He sees the music in everyday speech. Thus the album title “I Didn’t Know I Was Singing”.

      I know all of the people on this album.

    • Captain Howdy


    • 1subgenius

      Sometimes the world has a load of questions
      Seems like the world knows nothing at all
      The world is near but it’s out of reach
      Some people touch it…but they can’t hold on.

      The world moves on a woman’s hips
      The world moves and it swivels and bops

  • John P.

    I’ve been busy today, on a Global Capitalism HQ deal-related escapade that involved a jet, pre-dawn departure, stops in multiple time zones, and a lot of the usual annoyances that come with travel (you’d think they could make the air-to-ground Internet connection work reliably, especially since we own a big chunk of Gogo, the service provider). I read the comments in the limo back from Teterboro a few minutes ago, and found there’s something big missing from the discussion.

    I think the biggest lie of all in the numbers is the one in the title: the assertion that they’ve gotten a $5.7 million grant from Google to advertise. I recalled that Google does give grants to nonprofits, but they’re far smaller; I just looked it up and confirmed the following. Typically, Google will give up to $10,000 per month to a 501(c)3 charity that meets its qualifications. For the cult to get $5.7 million out of Google in one year they’d have to have almost 50 different organizations all qualifying for this program.

    In fact, if you divide $5.7 million by $120,000 per year per entity, you’d need exactly 47.5 different entities in the program. Hey, wait a minute! Isn’t that the number of times the cult has expanded? So maybe they got just one entity in the program (perhaps TWTH or something like that) then merely lied about it by the same 47x they’re lying about all the other numbers. Is that possible?

    Well, probably not. In the past, Google has been very explicit about prohibiting false advertising specifically by Scientology-related entities who have apparently deliberately omitted any link to Scientology. It seems doubtful that Google will change its stance on that any time soon. It is interesting to note, however, that Google recently deleted mention of these restrictions on Scientology from its page about fraudulent use of AdWords advertising (though it did make extensive other changes to the page. The current page is here: and a cached copy of the former page is here:

    Even though Google isn’t dumping on Scientology in the AdWords section as badly as they have in the past, I still don’t think they’d want to risk backlash from those who oppose this organization, and who are far more numerous than the count of actual cult members at this point.

    It’s unwise to presume that Google has backed off from Scientology because they think Scientology is going to spend a ton of cash on Google ads. Any possible likely ad spend with Scientology is going to be too small to make any difference to Google’s financial results. I don’t have the detailed revenue estimates handy but they’ll probably do at least $65 billion in revenue this year, perhaps closer to $70 billion. Even $8 million from the cult (significantly more than they spent on the American Idol ads a couple years back) would not even come close to moving the needle on Google’s financials. It’s also unlikely that Google would suddenly have been blackmailed by the cult or managed to place an employee in a position where they could influence Google’s policy there. Scientologists just aren’t on the same wavelength as most Google employees.

    • And I don’t rent cars!

      You are right in saying this angle was not discussed. Thanks for giving us a heads up and background info.

      Like her mentor, the red head’s stepchild, Ms. Harrison shot herself in the foot. Her $57 million foot bullet should be good ammunition to use when contacting Google again about the CoS and its front groups’ fraudulent grant applications and deceptive advertising practices.

    • Stacy

      It specifically states in their picy that anyone who’s violated their rules in the past won’t ever be allowed to promote through Adwords again. And since CoS was a specific no-no issue until last week, it does seem doubtful that Google would change their minds. So, basically what CoS said about Google is all lie, no twist? If so, wow, that’s ballsy. Stinks of desperation, don’t it?

    • Free Minds, Free Hearts

      Thanks John PC. And it was pointed out that this is not a typical grant. Basically it is in-kind donation of the cost for clicks – according to Google’s description, each nonprofit gets up to 164 “free” clicks a day valued at $2 each ($329 a day, $10,000 a month) instead of Google charging the nonprofit for the clicks. If no one clicks, then nothing. Text ads only.

      I also scoured the google adwords policy and saw nothing on scientology – they said they revised it September 1 so they must have removed it then.

      I think Google would be outraged by this lie Brandy told and may well want to see if the (possibly bogus) 47.5 entities comply with their terms (no false advertising, no deception, etc).

      And I’d love to know what groups have this “grant.” It seems this is yet another example of all of them being part of the mother church until there is a court case, and then they claim they never heard of each other.

  • And I don’t rent cars!


    That’s a link to an interesting article about Gabriella Coleman, professor at McGill University in Montreal and anthropologist who studies electronic/online cultures. She has a book, soon to be released on Nov. 4th, titled Hacker, Hoaxer, Whistleblower, Spy: The Many Faces of Anonymous. She is probably the foremost scholar on the subject of Anonymous.

    Description on Amazon:

    Here is the ultimate book on the worldwide movement of hackers, pranksters, and activists that operates under the non-name Anonymous, by the writer the Huffington Post says “knows all of Anonymous’ deepest, darkest secrets.”

    Half a dozen years ago, anthropologist Gabriella Coleman set out to study the rise of this global phenomenon just as some of its members were turning to political protest and dangerous disruption (before Anonymous shot to fame as a key player in the battles over WikiLeaks, the Arab Spring, and Occupy Wall Street). She ended up becoming so closely connected to Anonymous that the tricky story of her inside–outside status as Anon confidante, interpreter, and erstwhile mouthpiece forms one of the themes of this witty and entirely engrossing book.

    The narrative brims with details unearthed from within a notoriously mysterious subculture, whose semi-legendary tricksters—such as Topiary, tflow, Anachaos, and Sabu—emerge as complex, diverse, politically and culturally sophisticated people. Propelled by years of chats and encounters with a multitude of hackers, including imprisoned activist Jeremy Hammond and the double agent who helped put him away, Hector Monsegur, Hacker, Hoaxer, Whistleblower, Spy is filled with insights into the meaning of digital activism and little understood facets of culture in the Internet age, including the history of “trolling,” the ethics and metaphysics of hacking, and the origins and manifold meanings of “the lulz.”

  • pronoia

    Sort of kind of off-topic: but probably relevant to scientology, “religion” slave labor and child abuse:

    “Remember Hobby Lobby? That corporate use of personal religious freedom to make decisions about employees’ benefits?

    Guess what? Did anyone really think that decision would stay put and never been seen again? Because Wheaton College decision came out 3 days later? But still, maybe, just maybe it could have been buried.

    But wait! The Fundamentalist LDS, have decided not to pay kids to harvest pecans. The Department of Labor is investigating labor violations. FLDS leaders claim they do not have to testify because “religious freedom.”

    So I wonder what else the FLDS have religious freedom for? Perhaps child sex assault? Do we need to let Warren Jeffs out of prison because of “religious freedom”?

    Do Lutherans have the same protection? How about followers of the Flying Spaghetti Monster?”

  • Lady Squash

    Does anyone know if Brandy Harrison’s claims are valid–Google has approved advertising grants totaling $5.7 million for Scientology churches around the country? No way!

    Tell me it ain’t so. What’s wrong with Google. Should we protest or something.

  • mrsGambit

    I watched ‘the invention of lying’ yesterday. It seems like the COS is the opposite, they just can’t seem to tell the truth!

  • mrsGambit

    What happens when an org finally becomes ‘ideal’ and nothing happens, no people.
    What do these people tell themselves?

    • Graham

      At a guess: they tell themselves that it’s confined to their Org. All the other Orgs must be doing OK. The reason ours isn’t is because we’re not trying hard enough (Classic $cientology response: “If what you’re doing isn’t working, do more of it”)

      • DodoTheLaser

        That is a correct answer.

      • mrsGambit

        Sounds about right.. Poor people, but also, I want to shake them and yell ‘what the hell are you thinking?’

        • Robert Eckert

          What is this “thinking” of which you speak?

  • Pierrot

    *** RED X +–+ RED X +–+RED X +–+ RED X *** Wednesday the 17th of September

    Good morning Early Birds and Night Owls,

    Yesterday was again a fairly quiet day in lalaco$land , the 3-4 days list is very manageable. We expect them to wake up and build up to tomorrow’s stats!

    See Dolly & Vistaril flagging tech in the *Last 3 Days* tab of the RedX spreadsheet

    Hyder’s *last* Regional list:

    DON’T route out, BLOW, Get HELP, get OUT. CALL 1-866-XSEAORG

    Hi Dodo & Artist

  • Jimmy3

    I know some here like to have fun with the religious sort. So I’m gonna post this image, and you guys try to guess which religious figure tweeted it very recently. Or don’t, that’s okay, but I feel like Jesus would encourage participation.

    • Captain Howdy

      Kirk Cameron?

      • Baby

        Good guess.. I don’t have a clue.. too tired to think..night

        • Captain Howdy

          I cheated. It’s some nobody named Joseph Clark III. Goodnight.

      • Jimmy3

        He is purple and has horns.

  • grundoon

    It seems the Drug Free Hero awards are a project of the “National Office” (DC lobbying office) of the Chruch of Scientology. Scientology orgs across the country are asked to nominate a prominent local “opinion leader” type who has gotten on board with Scientology’s “Truth About Drugs” dissemination campaign, as well as a local whale or donor willing to sponsor the nominee’s trip to Washington for the award presentation. The DC lobbying office then lines up the nominee’s congressperson to come present the award, meet a Scientology celebrity (this year, Erika Christensen), get schmoozed, and do a photo op. (This year they also brought in an outside speaker, John Scherbenske, Section Chief, Synthetic Drugs and Chemicals, U.S. Drug Enforcement Agency. Scientology is releasing a new pamphlet, “The Truth About Synthetic Drugs.”) Press releases are sent out to the hometown media in the congressional district touting “The Truth About Drugs” and puffing the congressperson and awardee for their righteous antidrugness. Good PR for all.

    Consumer Energy Solutions, a Clearwater FL business, sponsored one of the award recipients: Andre Buford, principal of BEST Academy, Brooksville FL. In their newsletter they published a lengthy report on the award ceremony with lots of photos. Twice today I posted the link, but Disqus made it visible to me only, so I wouldn’t realize that it actually was consigned to perpetual “moderation.” Let’s see if this post gets through. Hearsay “CES drug free hero” to see this interesting .docx file.

    • Captain Howdy

      I downloaded it, but can’t get it to open.

      • grundoon

        I updated my comment above with a link to a web page that’s the same as the .docx. I hope you can see it. I also replied to you here with the link, but Disqus disappeared it. I wonder if Consumer Energy Solutions was blacklisted for spamming, or David Miscavige now controls Disqus Moderation.

        • Eivol Ekdal

          I see you have a new account. Have you verified your email?

          Reasons a comment may be awaiting pre-moderation

          Websites using Disqus have the ability to pre-moderate comments based on certain criteria. If a comment meets these criteria, it may be queued for moderator review before being published publicly on the website. Reasons a comment may be pre-moderated include, but are not limited to:

          -Contains a link
          -Contains a media attachment, e.g., image or video
          -User has not verified their email

          If your comment is awaiting pre-moderation, it will appear as pending in your Me Feed.

          • grundoon

            I posted the prweb link to the press release with no trouble. Strange.

        • Captain Howdy

          Got it. Thanks.

    • Eivol Ekdal
    • Jimmy3

      First prize is getting boozed up with the chick from Ten Things I Hate About You? Where do I sign up?

      • Captain Howdy

        The only crazy clam I wanna conjoin with is this one.

        • Jimmy3

          Never seen him before. Who is that?

          • Captain Howdy

            Ribisi’s wife, Agyness Deyn. i gather she’s a big model in Europe.

            • Jimmy3

              I was only messing with you. And it would depend on which Megan Fox patch version you’re talking about. Because I’m not just some nerd online that would wet his pants if Megan Fox ever smiled at him. I mean, she’d probably have to ask me a question before I pissed myself.

            • Krew13

              No thanks. I like my ladies to be hot and not Sciloons. Jewish babe Jennifer Love Hewitt is all kinds of awesome.

            • Sydjazz

              I agree that is a girl? Woah!

    • Jimmy3

      That is such a great find. The Truth About Drugs: If they’re good enough, your media presentations will probably turn out like this.

  • Captain Howdy

    OT, but you gotta go find the new slick video that ISIS has released in response to Obama talking all bad ass about annihilating them. It’s not bloody, but it’s definitely bold.

  • Nicklowles

    Yes, it’s appalling that the Chinese leadership censor the Internet and monitor all incoming & outgoing communications – this means that if a Chinese citizen joins the Sea Org, he or she will soon find him or herself at home. Danger is – after a while, they’ll be yearning for the ‘liberal’ freedoms that Scientology regularly deny.

  • Sydjazz

    Hey mr google? What the hell are you doing dude? Signed me

  • Phil de Fontenay

    I can’t believe people still buy that crap!

    I can see Miscavige in a Chinese hard labor camp. Perfect place for him.

    There is no way the Chinese accept anything about Scn ~LOL

  • Globetrotter

    Tony, I just want to point out that Scientology saying that “Google granted them $5.7 million in advertising” is not saying much, because Google actually grants $10,000 in adwords credit a month to ANY registered nonprofit in their Google Grants program. All you have to do is apply and submit proof that you are a legally registered nonprofit. See

    It is a typical Scientology bullshit PR twist to say there was anything special about receiving this (every dog shelter and the Crochet Guild of America is entitled to it too) and it has nothing to do with Google “being enlightened about the church’s mankind-salvaging crusade” or whatever.

    It is yet another bullshit PR twist to say that “every IDEAL org” (and not just every org) gets this credit – like Google cared if they were “ideal” or not, or if Google only gave this to the Miscavige blessed idle morgues.

    Yet another twisting of the facts is to say that “Google” increased their monthly $10k to $40k – what really happened was that once the free ad credit that every nonprofit on the planet can get from Google was awarded to the first scientology entity, one of their PR dupes decided to apply for the same for 3 more church front groups – hence, 4x$10k becomes “Google increased our grant from 10k to 40k!”

    Note that none of the credit goes to Google. All the credit goes to the church – it is all because the church is so great, and not because Google is generous. In actual fact, what they are saying is “We discovered that Google’s policy is to hand out free lunches to ANY non-profit (gasp, even WE may qualify!), and we jumped on the opportunity as we are legally registered nonprofits, so they can’t deny it from us! We stood in line for the free lunches, in fact, we bought one person from every organization and front group we have to stand in line with us, and we are so GREAT, that we GOT IT!!!!! We stood in line right between the Marijuana Policy Project Foundation and the The Naked Clowns, and we GOT THE FREE LUNCH LIKE EVERYBODY ELSE! BIG WIN! We are so incredibly popular and Google appreciates our work so much that to date, we have been able to consume $5.7 million worth of free lunches handed out by Google. Now THAT is undeniable proof that we are winning, we are expanding and taking the planet by storm – even Google now endorses Scientology and they are actively helping to promote it to ALL mankind!” (rolling thunder)

    • Synthia Fagen

      Fantastic comment that I never saw. Thanks.

  • Re: the Google ads claim, I sense either a correction from high up at Google. Or a shareholder lawsuit.

    Update: damn it, didn’t realize this was a year old when someone linked it. Never mind.