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Scientology Sunday Funnies: More scenes from the End of Days

SaintHillSmallIt’s that time of the week again, when we share with you the wacky fundraising mailers that the Church of Scientology sends out to its members around the world.

Our longtime readers have seen plenty of appeals for Ideal Org fundraising, and fliers urging Scientologists to hurry up and do their next course. But there are subtle differences in these advertisements, and we can’t help perceiving a distinct sense of panic and desperation as the weeks go by. Scientology is dying, and the forced tone of excitement is getting pretty obvious.

But judge for yourself, and let us know in the comments what you think about these most recent examples.

Let’s start with an unusual treat. A lengthy brochure designed to encourage a far-flung member to make the long trip to Saint Hill Manor, L. Ron Hubbard’s 1960s home and the current headquarters of Scientology in the UK, in East Grinstead, England.

 

Saint Hill Guide — Auditor Supplement

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The pirate theme, again? Can these victims of piracy never see how they’re walking off a plank?

 
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“Today I regained the ability to ‘be there’.” Good for you, space pirate, good for you.

 
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Gavin Potter and Michael Chan are still barnstorming the country, promising the gullible that OT 9 & 10 are coming, some day. (Marty Rathbun, in one of his books, revealed that there is no OT 9 & 10 being held back by Miscavige. Hubbard never wrote them.)

 
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Imagine the fun that was had last night at this event. Our favorite asshat, Grant Cardone, must have been a gas!

 
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Warren deserves some sort of award for “sustained word salad” or something. This is just a delicious mess.

 
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How to make six people look like your event was crowded.

 
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So are we to believe that this “Ladies with Babies” event at the Pasadena org is actually sponsored by Whole Foods and Starbucks? Say what?

 
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Agh! He’s everywhere!

 
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Keep signing up those youngsters, Miscavige!

 
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Take down Moscow? Huh?

 
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This is disturbing.

 
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Thanks again to our great tipsters!

 
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Karen de la Carriere looks at Scientology’s connections to Narconon

Some nice footage here of David Miscavige from the New Year’s Eve event…

 

 
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Posted by Tony Ortega on April 27, 2014 at 07:00

E-mail your tips and story ideas to tonyo94@gmail.com or follow us on Twitter. We post behind-the-scenes updates at our Facebook author page. Here at the Bunker we try to have a post up every morning at 7 AM Eastern (Noon GMT), and on some days we post an afternoon story at around 2 PM. After every new story we send out an alert to our e-mail list and our FB page.

Learn about Scientology with our numerous series with experts…

BLOGGING DIANETICS (We read Scientology’s founding text) 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25

UP THE BRIDGE (Claire Headley and Bruce Hines train us as Scientologists) 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43

GETTING OUR ETHICS IN (Jefferson Hawkins explains Scientology’s system of justice) 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14

SCIENTOLOGY MYTHBUSTING (Historian Jon Atack discusses key Scientology concepts) 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43

PZ Myers reads L. Ron Hubbard’s “A History of Man” | Scientology’s Master Spies | Scientology’s Private Dancer

 

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