Sunday Funnies: Scientology is having a grand re-opening at Big Blue this Saturday!

We told you it was coming, and yesterday, Scientology’s “Advanced Org” in Copenhagen went “ideal.” (Photo of DM courtesy of Black Rob at WWP.) We’re not really sure what that entailed — maybe a new coat of paint and some fancy TV monitors, perhaps? But we imagine it was quite a party as the Ideal Org program now also is being extended to the small number of places where advanced courses are delivered.

And now we have an e-mail which was leaked to us that suggests another advanced org — in Los Angeles — is going “ideal” in just a week! Boy, someone’s sure in a hurry.

We had heard that the Advanced Org facilities in LA — the American Saint Hill Organization (ASHO) and the Advanced Organization of Los Angeles (AOLA) — had been going through renovations. And now, apparently, it’s time for a grand re-opening party!

Date: Thu, 13 Feb 2014
From: ASHO

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Subject: A letter to all FSM’s – from the Captain ASHOD

A few weeks ago I sent you a personal Captain’s FSM Newsletter to update you on the delivery here at ASHO since the release of Golden Age of Tech Phase II. This is another update but with a significance that you have to mark with super urgency for action. A red alert!

The Ideal ASHO and AOLA Grand Opening is just around the corner, taking place on SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 22, 2014. ASHO is a flurry of around-the-clock preparations, and public have been arriving from all over the Americas and beyond to start their next Bridge steps and be here for the first Ideal Sea Org Grand Opening and LRH’s Birthday.

 
Well, that certainly is coming up fast — we hope some of our Los Angeles correspondents might be on hand Saturday to survey the scene as Scientology throws a big party for ASHO and AOLA. Send us some photos!

 
Moving on to our other Sunday Funnies this week, we thought the math in this L. Ron Hubbard utterance was quirky. We think he’s saying that one-half percent of the population is intelligent enough to be Scientology auditors. Well, whatever you say, Commodore…

 
Oh, Michael Lewis. We still wince whenever we see the father of murderer and deceased Sons of Anarchy actor Johnny Lewis offer to hand out life advice on fliers. Ugh.

 
It seems like Birmingham has been trying to go Ideal forever. Who could forget their fundraising fun of the past? So here’s the latest Brum newsletter.

 
Once again, we near March 13, L. Ron Hubbard’s birthday (this year he would have been 103). Here’s an interesting way to celebrate it — an OT reunion!

 
It’s always fun to get a peek at the folks actually working at these Scientology salt mines…

 
Millions. Yeah, that’s a good one.

 
OK, let’s all think about what this woman is claiming. After spending several hundred thousand dollars to get to Operating Thetan Level Eight — the highest level of Scientology spiritual advancement — which should have given her the superhuman ability to leave her body at will and control the universe around her, she sat in a sauna for several weeks, and it helped her somehow “heal” an illness she had at 15 years of age.

Wow, these Scientologists really have some powers of imagination.

 
Michael Chan is the same fellow who was telling an audience in Los Angeles that OT 10 was going to allow Scientologists to make clone armies of themselves. This guy rocks!

 
“Only Clears and OTs will survive this planet.” Well, there it is in a nutshell.

 
Oh Edna, you’re breaking our heart.

 
We hadn’t seen fliers for this front group before. Let us know if you see it making any actual inroads anywhere.

 
Finally, here’s an unusual flier from Down Under. Perhaps one of our Oz correspondents could help explain it?

 
Thanks again to our amazing tipsters. Please keep those fliers and mailers coming!

 
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Posted by Tony Ortega on February 16, 2014 at 07:00

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