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Five things to watch for in today’s first Scientology wedding in the UK

CalcioliHodkin2The Church of Scientology is naturally very excited that Alessandro Calcioli and Louisa Hodkin (pictured right) will marry today after winning a landmark court victory allowing Scientology “religious” weddings to be held in England for the first time.

Scientology may be dwindling, but it can use every bit of good publicity it can get, so today’s wedding will be streamed live on the Internet at 11 am Eastern, and we wouldn’t miss it.

But coverage of the impending nuptials has been uninformed and even embarrassing. Despite decades of revelations in books, magazine articles, and newspaper stories that have laid bare most of Scientology’s secrets, the church still seems to be something of a mystery for most reporters and many in the public.

So we’re here to help with a few things to look for today as you watch “Ale” and Louisa tie the knot — or circle the triangle, as it were.

 
1. Will Uncle Neil be there?

Ale Calcioli is from the most famous Scientology family in the UK. His grandfather, David Gaiman, was for decades the face of Scientology in England and its top public relations man. Gaiman died in 2009 at 75, leaving behind three children — his two daughters are still fanatical Scientology believers. One of them is Lizzy Calcioli, Ale’s mother.

David Gaiman’s son and Lizzy’s brother is Neil Gaiman, one of the most successful fantasy and science fiction writers in the world. In interviews, Neil says that he is no longer a Scientologist, but he reportedly did reach the upper levels of arcane knowledge in the church before leaving it some time in the 1980s.

Neil Gaiman is careful not to say anything negative about Scientology in interviews, and it’s not hard to understand why. If he criticized Scientology at all it would be major news, and in Scientology that’s about the worst thing you can do is bring bad publicity on the church. If Neil did that, the rest of his family would immediately be ordered to “disconnect” from him. And given some of the nice things he said about Lizzy in the afterword to his most recent book, The Ocean at the End of the Lane, he still cares about those relationships.

But does that mean he’ll be at his nephew’s wedding today? We’re curious to find out.

 
2. How this wedding would make granddad proud

While he was alive, Ale’s grandfather David Gaiman was known as a pugnacious promoter of Scientology. He was also named an unindicted co-conspirator (along with Scientology founder L. Ron Hubbard himself) when 11 Scientology executives were prosecuted for the largest infiltration of the US government in its history.

David Gaiman was a member of Scientology’s “Guardian’s Office,” its notorious spy wing that was founded in 1966 as Hubbard was finding himself unwelcome in an increasing number of countries around the world.

From 1973 until the church was raided by the FBI in 1977, the Guardian’s Office sent operatives to infiltrate hundreds of government offices around the world to pilfer files about the church. They called the operation the “Snow White Program,” and it resulted in the theft of tens of thousands of government documents.

Gaiman rose to be the Guardian’s Office’s top public relations official in the world. His own contribution to the GO’s many plots was dreaming up “Operation Cat,” a scheme to plant false information in the files of US government agencies and then expose it using Freedom of Information Act requests. Gaiman’s plans for Operation Cat were among the documents seized in the 1977 raid.

David and his wife Sheila also had a very good thing going after they founded a vitamin supply business, G & G Vitamins, in 1965. It became a lucrative concern as it supplied Saint Hill Manor, Hubbard’s old estate and the headquarters of Scientology in England, where some of Scientology’s processes call for huge intakes of vitamins. (Last year, Sheila Gaiman was featured in a Scientology flier which listed her as a “New Civilization Founder” in its fundraising for new buildings, indicating that she’s personally given at least $1 million.)

But David Gaiman’s career in the church did not go without a hitch. In the early 1980s, there was a purge of old Guardian’s Office executives as Scientology tried to distance itself from the disastrous prosecution of officials involved in Snow White.

In 1983, David was expelled from the church and “declared” a “suppressive person” — Scientology’s form of excommunication. His declare is online, and it not only lists the usual complaints — that Gaiman supplanted Hubbard’s methods with his own, making him a “squirrel” (a heretic) — but also accused him of “a history of sexual misconduct…He has engaged in this while legally married in disregard of Church policy on this matter.”

Gaiman later managed to get back in the church’s good graces, and remained a staunch defender of Scientology to the end of his life. No doubt he would be beaming to see how his grandson is bringing some badly needed good publicity to Scientology today.

 
3. Why did it take a court decision for this wedding to happen?

The court battle that Ale and Louisa went through to get here would never have happened in the United States. Here, we have a thing called the First Amendment to the Constitution, which prevents the government from establishing a state religion or in any other way regulating how religions operate internally.

If you’re a Buddhist or a Baptist or a Wiccan or a Scientologist, you can marry however you like here, in whatever venue you choose, as long as you follow some nominal procedures to register the marriage with the state.

England’s outdated marriage laws allowed “religious” weddings only in a few different kinds of venues that the government had designated as “houses of worship.” (In recent decades, England had loosened up its rules about where “non-religious” weddings could take place.) In 1970, when Scientology tried to challenge the law, it was determined that Scientologists do not, strictly speaking, “worship” a deity at their “orgs,” and so they were denied the right to be on the list of approved religious venues.

And actually, that assessment was correct. Although Scientology puts on a “Sunday service” purely for public relations reasons, the practice of Scientology itself is nothing like the group worship that takes place in a Christian church or a Jewish synagogue. Scientology is about sitting down with one other person to go through a kind of counseling — called “auditing” — that enables a subject to go millions or billions of years into his or her past lives to find “upsets” that are causing problems in the present time.

Sure, it’s weird, and it clearly isn’t “worship” — but so what? England’s law was presumptuous and stupid. And woefully out of date. Even though Scientologists believe that alien armies are running Venus and Mars, where our souls get “implanted” between lives (and they do believe that), who is the state to tell them they can’t have a wedding in a church?

Scientology, using Calcioli and Hodkin, saw an opportunity and took it, filing a challenge to the law with the help of Louisa’s father, Peter Hodkin, a prominent attorney who has fought for other Scientology causes.

England’s highest court made the right decision — Scientologists should have the right to be married in their own “orgs.” And with the victory, the church is trying to make the most of it, and will now press for other benefits, such as tax exemptions. That’s not going to be as easy to obtain, however, since in England an organization has to show a “public benefit” in order to get exemptions, a hurdle they don’t face in the US, where Scientology has enjoyed tax exempt status since 1993.

One thing’s for certain, however — a well-publicized court victory is really not enough on its own to change Scientology’s fortunes. Which brings us to the next point.

 
4. Scientology has never been in worse shape

The 2011 census in England and Wales revealed that only 2,418 people considered themselves Scientologists — even though the church itself claims more than 100,000 adherents in the country.

Scientologists were vastly outnumbered by Rastafarians (7,906) and Zoroastrians (4,105).

The number revealed by the census was particularly shocking because England is supposed to be one of Scientology’s strongholds.

In fact, the church has never had the kind of numbers that it claims. Former top-level executives who had access to actual enrollment documents say that at its height in the late 1980s and early 1990s, Scientology approached about 100,000 people worldwide and has been steadily decreasing since then. And an exodus of longtime members in the last decade has those same former executives estimating today’s planet-wide enrollment at only about 25,000 to 30,000 people.

Scientology is tiny.

Of course, the church itself has always claimed that it has millions of members. (In 1969, it claimed to have 15 million members, and in the years since regularly claimed to have anywhere from six to 12 million. In the last few years, spokeswoman Karin Pouw has been more careful, claiming “millions” of followers.)

The truth is, Scientology has never been in bigger trouble. Dissatisfaction with leader David Miscavige has motivated the exodus, leading to a series of troubling defections, not only of former high-level officials, but also of Scientology’s special niche audience — celebrities.

Director Paul Haggis left the church after 30 years after getting fed up with Scientology’s well-earned reputation for homophobia (he has two adult lesbian daughters). And last summer, actress Leah Remini walked away from the church after being a member since she was a young child. Scientology also lost Katie Holmes, as she split from Tom Cruise, still the church’s most famous celebrity member. And ever since that break-up, the world’s media has been on a feeding frenzy about Scientology’s problems, including the vanishing of David Miscavige’s wife, Shelly, who hasn’t been seen in public since 2007.

David Miscavige has pushed back with an aggressive building program, putting his followers under intense pressure to raise huge amounts of money in order to purchase historic buildings and turn them into gleaming new cathedrals. But there’s no evidence that the new “Ideal Orgs” are bringing in new converts, and plenty of anecdotal evidence that the buildings are failing to bring in anyone at all.

At the same time, Scientology is spending huge amounts of money to fight lawsuits — lawsuits that have pried loose documents showing that Scientology is still spying on former members like they were in David Gaiman’s day. One court fight has gone all the way to the US Supreme Court, where Scientology tried in vain to keep documents secret that bolster the accounts of women who say they were forced to have abortions as members of the church’s “Sea Org.” Another threatens to entangle Miscavige himself in a case of Scientology surveillance and alleged harassment. Another came and went as two of Scientology’s professional spies came forward with astounding stories of what lengths Miscavige would go to in order to keep an eye on a perceived enemy. Meanwhile, Scientology’s drug rehab network, Narconon, is mired in investigations and lawsuits around the country, many of them the result of unexplained patient deaths.

Around the world, Scientology is facing crises both inside and out. It could use a nice wedding to forget all of that, at least for a day.

 
5. What is the Scientology wedding ceremony?

Scientology founder L. Ron Hubbard is revered by his followers as a larger-than-life figure. They consider him to be a great writer, among other things, but you won’t find a lot of fans of his prose outside the church.

Is the wedding ceremony he wrote a thing of poetry? We’ll let you decide.

Friends: We are gathered here in the presence of these witnesses for the purpose of legally joining in marriage this man and this woman, Louisa Hodkin and Alessandro Calcioli.

If there be any among you who know of any reason why this should not be done, let them now speak, or forever remain silent.

All being in accord, we shall proceed.

Ale, is your reality of the love you have for Louisa such as you will be constantly creating through health and sickness; through adversity as well as good fortune?

Can you confront and grant forgiveness for shortcomings as readily as you give praise for all her many admirable qualities?

And have you communicated your love to Louisa?

Louisa, have you acknowledged Ale’s love?

Louisa, is your reality of the love you have for Ale such as you will be constantly creating through health and sickness; through adversity as well as good fortune?

Can you confront and grant forgiveness for shortcomings as readily as you give praise for all his many sterling qualities?

And have you communicated your love to Ale?

Ale, have you acknowledged Louisa’s love?

Then may I say to you both that through your love together with your agreement upon its reality, and by your communication of these two beautiful truths, you have completed the ARC Triangle, and thereby consummated the only true marriage, which is beyond the power of any individual or group of individuals to add to or detract from in the slightest manner.

However, the law and custom of our society requires that this union shall be made a matter of public acclaim and record.

It is my honor to have been selected by you to perform the ceremony. The acceptance of an honor carries with it an obligation of comparable magnitude, and I would be remiss in that responsibility if I failed to attempt a contribution, not to what you have already created, which no one can do, but to the permanency of its continued creation on your future time track.

Man has ever employed symbols to impress upon the mind, wise and important truths, that these symbols might prove an ever-present reminder of the necessity of ceaseless creation of our desires.

And I am certain that your one joint desire in present time is that the love you have created shall remain a reality throughout your future years.

Best man, have you a ring?

May I have it please?

Thank you.

Bridesmaid, have you a ring?

May I have it please?

Thank you.

These rings consist of circles, and the circle has been an emblem of permanency to Man since time immemorial. In fact, it represents time and space — which are without ending. I want you to look upon these two emblems and mock-up the ARC Triangle in the center of each.

Have you done it?

Thank you.

As long as these emblems remain with you, I want you to see that triangle in their center as a reminder that the reality of their symbolism of permanency will hold true only so long as that triangle remains unbroken. I should like to see you make a pact between you that you will never close your eyes in sleep on a broken triangle. Heal any breach with the reality of your love through communication. If you will do this, these emblems of your greatest desire in present time will remain a reality throughout your future time track.

Let us proceed.

Ale, will you take this ring and with these words, place it upon Louisa’s finger.

“With this symbol of my love”

“I take thee, Louisa,”

“As my true and lawful wedded wife”

“I pledge thee to keep this love”

“Ever living, ever real.”

Louisa, will you take this ring and with these words, place it upon Ale’s finger.

“With this symbol of my love”

“I take thee, Ale,”

“As my true and lawful wedded husband”

“I pledge thee to keep this love”

“Ever living, ever real.”

And now, in the name of the Church of Scientology and by virtue of the powers vested in me by the state, I declare you, Ale, and you, Louisa, to be truly and legally, husband and wife. I will ask that you seal this ceremony with your lips. And I will ask these witnesses present to join me in blessing this ceremon with the postulate that the trust and love of the present shall become ever stronger with each passing year.

Did you do it?

Thank you.

— L. Ron Hubbard

So now you have a more complete program to today’s festivities than what the British press has supplied so far. Enjoy the nuptials. We’ll be watching.

 
UPDATE: The couple just posted this photo online, and apparently the video of their wedding will not be live, but will be uploaded soon.

SciWedding

 
——————–

Posted by Tony Ortega on February 23, 2014 at 10:45

E-mail your tips and story ideas to tonyo94@gmail.com or follow us on Twitter. We post behind-the-scenes updates at our Facebook author page. Here at the Bunker we try to have a post up every morning at 7 AM Eastern (Noon GMT), and on some days we post an afternoon story at around 2 PM. After every new story we send out an alert to our e-mail list and our FB page.

Learn about Scientology with our numerous series with experts…

BLOGGING DIANETICS (We read Scientology’s founding text) 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25

UP THE BRIDGE (Claire Headley and Bruce Hines train us as Scientologists) 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41

GETTING OUR ETHICS IN (Jefferson Hawkins explains Scientology’s system of justice) 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14

SCIENTOLOGY MYTHBUSTING (Historian Jon Atack discusses key Scientology concepts) 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42

PZ Myers reads L. Ron Hubbard’s “A History of Man” | Scientology’s Master Spies | Scientology’s Private Dancer

 

[liveblog]

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  • Sydjazz

    Made news here in the land downunder and the masses are not impressed.

  • Captain Howdy

    Some of the local talent. And it’s not OT cuz it’s about UFO’s and Aliens and Tanya acts like a scientologist.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tLGAlIiqxuQ

    • Charlotte

      I hadn’t heard of her before. Thanks.

    • Cat Daddy

      Good show sir, beautiful girl and song.

    • Cat Daddy

      XENU IS IN THIS CLIP, HAIL XENU !!!

  • aquaclara

    “And now, in the name of the church of Scientology…”

    This would be, of course, the dream of every 7, 8,9, or 10 year old girl, imagining the perfect fairy tale wedding.

    NOT. Oh so not.

    Thank God.

  • E-girl

    Because I can
    There is a Canadian list the is after Pierrots list

    https://whyweprotest.net/community/threads/taking-down-co-on-craigslist-co-ads-on-craigslist.113779/page-54#post-2424152

    4th time, 10:30 pm (20:30) NYT

    • Toni m

      Done, I did only the blue ones this time. I found 10-15 blues specially in Tampa. The redone of purples I did it this morning. Have a good sleep. Thank you for your hard work.

  • Sunny Sands

    Jenna Elfman’s new show is on now on CBS. First scene, blind dad cuts down tree with chain saw. Second scene, blind dad coaches daughter on parallel parking with predictable result of impact. Third scene, Jenna is reading magazine with son, about 8 years old, and asking him about a water bra and I really don’t want to say what she did next. My limit was reached.

    I lasted 4 minutes.

    • Robert Eckert

      The commercials warned me it was a one-joke show well before I learned it also had the Scilon taint.

    • IBBy

      It wasnt bad. It has some promise. Shes a good actress, just batshit

  • jeff

    “The author of the Universe” – is that supposed to be LRH?

    Edit” OMG, the future race? Homo Novis? Puke!

  • IBBy

    The bride looked very pretty. I hope they have a long marriage free of krs and sec checks.

    Jenna elfmans show on nbc was not bad. Ive always enjoyed her acting roles, especially dharma and greg. Ive decided that im going to concentrate my efforts not on an actors talent, but for their willful ignrance to scientologys brutality to the commoner

  • Jonathan Cummings

    I wanted to send the newlyweds a simple message as their site says they would love to hear from people. My message would have been 4 simple words just Scientology kills get out. Sadly, I would have been required to give my email address and I did not feel like going through the trouble of making one up, but Scientology does kill get out!

  • Pierrot

    The fifth post at 03:00am ETZ of the CL List for
    The 2014/02/23 A-Z from 2014/02/22 to 2014/02/23 from 10:00am to 09:00am ETZ
    https://whyweprotest.net/community/threads/taking-down-co-on-craigslist-co-ads-on-craigslist.113779/page-54#post-2424152

    Do not forget our Canadian friends
    https://whyweprotest.net/community/threads/taking-down-co-on-craigslist-co-ads-on-craigslist.113779/page-54#post-2424277

    Give us your suggestions for improving the performance of the flagging,
    Presentation, timing, notifications, anything else that you can think of?

  • DodoTheLaser

    Off topic: Russian people did well. Make Olympics, not Wars.

    • DodoTheLaser

      P.S. Congratulations to USA, Norway, Canada and other fine participants as well!

    • aquaclara

      They hosted a beautiful Olympics. I loved the closing ceremony.

  • DodoTheLaser

    Katie Holmes and her friends are cooking something good.
    https://twitter.com/KatieHolmes212

  • Krew13

    These rings consist of circles

    Holy shit! He’s right! I think that Hubbard guy may have been onto something! What an astounding observation!

    • Great White Clam

      He was on something, rather than “onto something”
      Just saying.

      • Krew13

        I was being sarcastic.

        • Great White Clam

          I was serious!
          LOL
          J/K

  • Shannon

    Does anyone actually ever go to Sunday services? I feel like in everything everybody talks about in the comments and the web, the Sunday service is never mentioned…

    “you have completed the ARC Triangle, and thereby consummated the only true marriage, which is beyond the power of any individual or group of individuals to add to or detract from in the slightest manner”

    just gonna let the irony of that one sink in…

  • Concerning David Gaiman’s vitamin supply, I wonder when European rules will be tightened up so that the illegal pharmacists of the criminal organisation known as the “church” of $cientology will be made to stop? The French clams are well aware that they’re breaking the law, but were documented to be continuing to do so in the 2010 documentary “Scientologie: la vérité sur un mensonge” http://www.lexpress.fr/culture/tele/scientologie-la-verite-sur-un-mensonge-secte-mensonge-et-ideaux-france2_894700.html (trying to hide their tracks by giving out nothing in print about where to get the dangerous doses of vitamins – just spelling out mobile phone numbers to the victim)

    • Qbird

      interesting Jens. I could translate what was written, then searched in uTube, found it, but the video does not have an English subtitle option. My French not good enough ~ 🙁

  • EnthralledObserver

    My baking for morning tea tomorrow done… dogs fed… clothes washing… sooooo, we still waiting for a story to crack?

    • Espiando

      Or a story about crack if it’s about Denise Miscavige.

      • EnthralledObserver

        lol… yeah, there could be that… 😉

        • WildaBeast

          What, haven’t they sent her to Narconon? Or they did and she’s now staff there and so can smoke like a champ all day?

    • kemist

      I think Tony said yesterday (somewhere downthread) that he’d be pursuing two big stories today and that there wouldn’t be new posts today.

      • EnthralledObserver

        Yeah, I read that… it’s nearly Tuesday for me… just thought I might get lucky and Tony’s had a breakthrough. Ah well…

  • Graham

    So we can now expect a flood of $camatology marriages in England? Given that there are about 2000 members in England & Wales- probably not. Indeed this could well be the first and the last?

    • shasha40

      From your mouth to Xenu’s ears ! Please Xenu , let it be !

  • sam

    Until RPF do we part

  • NOLAGirl

    You can get married in a park, that doesn’t make it a church.

    O/T from the Sunday Funnies: Showed that contract to my lawyer friend at a Mardi Gras party he laughed out loud and said that while it may seem “all official” a Judge would have issues with the fact that there is no exchange of “You don’t talk about us, we don’t talk about you” so to speak…..and the “in perpetuity” would not go over well in court. But unless someone challenges it, they’ll keep using it to scare the sheep. (Please note that he was drunk when I showed it to him, so this is just a recap of alllllllllll he said)

    Dave must be shitting that his newest control weapon made it to Tony’s front page. Hehehehehe!!!! Suck it you pint-sized screaming banshee.

    • Miss Tia

      i, personally, find parks very peaceful places…. 😀

      • NOLAGirl

        😀

    • noseinabk

      Very OT.
      Nola, do you have an email I can use to put you in contact with my daughter? She is heading your way this week. My email is noseinabk2 at gmail. If you can not do email, maybe find we can another place to chat besides the bunker.

      • NOLAGirl

        Going to send you an email so you’ll have my address. I’ll tag the subject line so you know it’s me.

        • noseinabk

          Thank you!

  • Graham
    • aquaclara

      “Magical” + scientology is just too funny.

      • Anonymous

        I can’t help but hear ‘magical’ in Shreks voice.

  • Miss Tia

    Had to get up way too early, though just in time, for contractor to get here! The business owner said it would take a couple hours to remove the walls, ceiling, floor (it’s like a 3 x 4? room) but no, the WORKER—who would know better, said it’ll take all day. So I don’t resent, as much, dragging my ass out of bed. Feel atrocious today as I stood too much yesterday—standing is bad, I dunno why, and talked too much–I cannot keep my mouth shut! 🙂 So pantry deconstruction IS underway!!! Not doing a damn physically involved thing today!! Did send some tweets this morning! 🙂

    Unsaid at wedding
    “By the powers I paid for…”
    Cuz you know that’s true.
    @scientology #haiku #UKWedding #Fraud #Scam

    Need new meat’s money
    Want people forced to join them
    Nation of Islam
    @scientology @OfficialNOI #haiku #fraud #deceit #cult

    Louis Farrakhan
    Tells his flock to take courses
    He profits from it
    @scientology @OfficialNOI @LouisFarrakhan #haiku #fraud #cult

    White man is devil
    Farrakhan says niblet fine
    Cuz he’s an orange man
    @scientology @officialnoi @LouisFarrakhan #haiku #orangemen #devils

    Grant Cardone and wife
    Think they have super powers
    Two total douche bags
    @scientology @GrantCardone #haiku #douchebags #classlessasses

    Fake tan on niblet
    Trying to look good and young
    Teeth are still yellow
    niblet @scientology #haiku #fake #fraud #liar #yellowteeth

    Smoking packs of Kools
    They are part of church scripture
    Gotten tax exempt
    niblet @scientology #haiku #fraud #NoMoreTaxExempt #IRS

    Dianetics lies
    It does not resolve problems
    Tom Cruise still wears lifts
    @scientology @WhatisDianetics @tomcruise #haiku #fraud #shortman

    Claims Super Powers
    Yet can’t show anyone them
    It’s all in their head
    @scientology #haiku #SuperDelusions #SecretPowers #insanity

    Says psychs are evil
    That they caused the holocaust
    Rewrite history
    @scientology @CCHR #haiku #revisionisthistorians #insane #gethelp

    Suppressive People
    Those who dare to disagree
    Can’t think for yourself
    @scientology #haiku #SPs #ThinkForYourself #insanity

    Hemet, Waco II?
    Armed fortress, guns and ammo
    Alleged church place
    @scientology @FBILosAngeles @TheJusticeDept @DHSgov #haiku #DOSOMETHING

    So many missing
    Heber, Diana, Shelly
    This is not normal
    @scientology @FBILosAngeles @TheJusticeDept #haiku #FINDTHEM #GrowAPair

    You just cannot leave
    They’ll make your life living hell
    Fair gaming assholes
    @scientology #haiku #FairGameTHIS #assholes

    Scriptures say to lie
    You can even kill for church
    They are tax exempt
    @scientology @IRSnews @TheJusticeDept @FBILosAngeles #haiku #Dafuq

    If you haven’t tagged this yet, please? http://cleveland.craigslist.org/search/eee?query=%22440+499+0294%22|%22440+567+7287%22 Thank you! 🙂

    • aquaclara

      Flagged and laughing. Love your tweets, sweets. Good luck today.

      • Miss Tia

        Thank you! 🙂 I gotta go thru the kitchen in a few minutes to go put some clothes in the dryer, I’ll see how far he’s gotten in like 30 minutes! 😀 Also since I did NOT know it would be all day, I’ll get an auxiliary water and food dish in the basement for the kitty who hangs out down there.

        • Dylan

          a pantry should go down quick.

          • Miss Tia

            Well there’s some kind of crappy spackling? over lathe & plaster walls/ceiling. The floor has to come out, the molding, uh, everything. I HOPE it doesn’t take all day, but if the guy said it probably will take him all day, then I’m apt to believe him. I’m gonna stop typing this and go put my clothes in the dryer—gotta go thru kitchen—-and I’ll see where he’s at now.

            Okay, the back wall is to the studs, which are rotted. There’s also a total gap at the top of the wall and the ceiling of about 6″ where he said there SHOULD HAVE BEEN I think he said construction bumpers? Uh basically there shouldn’t have been a totally open gap there. But the back wall was/is totally soaked. Part of the ceiling is down too. All soaked.

            • noseinabk

              Plaster walls are a MESS to take down. Now I understand why that would take longer.

            • Miss Tia

              yeah, lathe and plaster is a mess….he’s just working by himself too….he’s doing a very good thorough job though and is very nice…..i asked when/if he took lunch so i could let the dogs out and he said any time i had to let them, just let him know but i said no, lunch would be fine….he said it’d be noon and he’d clear a path in the kitchen…..

              my kitchen is now like a polar palace with the pantry open, the open gaps to outside and the back door open……brrrrrr!! it’s -1 today and snowing!!

            • noseinabk

              <——- is going to stop complaining about being cold.

            • Miss Tia

              You go on ahead and complain about the cold!!! The rest of my house is warm! 🙂

            • Dylan

              sounds like you are in good hands. bummer about the wet wood. I hope it is a simple fix. that can get expensive if there is lots of water damage. Stay warm

            • Miss Tia

              definitely in good hands! insurance WILL cover the rebuilding of the pantry—just not the roof……it’ll probably be weeks before they rebuild the pantry too as i know they wanted to wait til ‘winter’ was over, then of course if the roof needs replaced, well yeah, that should be done first too…..ugh…..at least the mold will be GONE! 🙂

            • WildaBeast

              No mold is good mold!
              Okay, mold story because I can:
              About ten years back I was living in this shit-pit of a two-bedroom, and the landlord was quite literally certifiable. He was on meds so heavy (for his severe bipolar disorder) that he would occasionally gap out in the middle of conversations about rent (WHY did I never take advantage of that?!). So the kitchen ceiling starts getting water-stained. Months pass, and the wife and I start having headaches all the time, and waking up exhausted, and having really bad mental fog. Both of us. All day, except when we’re out of the house. We figure it’s mold from the wet kitchen ceiling, so call the landlord and make bitchy-bitchy. He sent the “super” (the guy from downstairs, who failed to fix the SUB-FLOORING in our kitchen that bent so badly when you stood on it, that you could see right into his living room, even though we pointed it out to him). The “super” knew it was a mold problem, but brought his FIVE-YEAR-OLD SON up with him to do the fix. He pulled down a section of the upper kitchen wall, and it was soaking wet and covered in black mold.
              He looked directly at the soaking wet mass of ex-wall, covered with and reeking of mold, and announced quite seriously, “Well, it’s not mold, but it’s something.”
              Then he screwed some drywall into place over the hole, having failed to identify why that area was getting wet in the first place, dug his kid out of our coat closet, and left.

            • Miss Tia

              !!!!! oh my goodness!!!! That’s horrible!! I hope you got out of there soon and got better!!!

              Guy just went to lunch, walls, flooring, ceiling are OUT…..there’s some slits in the roof that you can see through so it’ll get tarped, thank goodness…..support beams are also cracked/rotted…..he’ll spray everything with anti-micro stuff when he gets back from lunch, pack in the gap at the top of the wall/ceiling that is open to the outside and put in a fan and/or dehumidifier and get the roof covered…..plus put the pantry door back…..

            • WildaBeast

              Yeah, we did get out – and got better. Seems as though no permanent harm was done. Thanks for asking though 🙂
              And I hope that they manage to fix everything up for you real quick – and real well! Black mold is no fun; it’s even worse than having workmen in your place ripping it to shreds while you’re still living in it.

            • Miss Tia

              Least it’s just the pantry! I’d post a couple pix but I dunno how big they’d be here….

            • Qbird

              Hang tough Miss Tia… of course you will.

              Winter – ha! It can wear on ya ~

              http://youtu.be/rloxx3RzuXQ

            • Miss Tia

              HAHA!!! Aw, poor snowman! 🙂

    • Anonymous

      I’m betting all the contractors get stiffed, as usual.

      • Miss Tia

        Well I gave ’em a $1000 check this morning for the deductible and the insurance is covering the rest of the work inside. I will figure out a way to pay for the roof to be replaced. The only one being stiffed, is YOU, with your ASSumptions.

        • Anonymous

          I didn’t mean you. I meant the contractors at the Scientology wedding.

          • Miss Tia

            Uh, nice attempt at a save? Have a nice day! 🙂

  • aquaclara

    Alessandro adds: “Our hope is now Scientology will become more accepted and will be mocked less.”
    Hmmmm. Nope, not a chance.

    • shasha40

      Nope , not here anyways ! Roflmao at Cap’n miss cabbage and his micro-managed cherch .

    • Observer

      Really? He thinks that now that people can get married in a Scientology building it will somehow make Scientology’s criminal practices acceptable and LRH’s absurd “science” respectable? Poor kid.

    • Espiando

      “Mocked less”? He doesn’t know me very well, does he?

      • aquaclara

        This cracked me up. His head is really buried deep in the sand. How could he have missed you?!

      • WildaBeast

        Give him time, Espi…*smiles*

    • Mooser

      I’m glad you mentioned that. If I run into Alessandro, I’ll be sure to give him all the respect he deserves, and more.

      • WildaBeast

        So you won’t say Word One?
        Or worse, you will…

    • Cat Daddy

      I lol’d

    • Panopea Abrupta

      What if you mocked up a cult and nobody came?

  • mook

    Looks like Travolta and Will Smith are presenting at the Oscars this year. Good thing they’re saluting the Wizard of Oz this year because these FOD will bring their Wicked Witches (Kelly and Jada respectively) with them
    http://www.justjared.com/2014/02/24/oscars-2014-full-list-of-presenters-announced/

    Paul Haggis is having his annual Oscar party this year, which had Nicole Kidman and Jason Beghe attend last year. I’m betting either Leah Remini, the Presley gals or Juliette Lewis will attend the party this year.

    • Silence of the Clams

      So is Juliette Lewis really out?

      • mook

        Dunno. She hasn’t been at a CoS event since 2011 which says a lot. She hasn’t retweeted any links to Narconon or CCHR. Plus she had that spiel in August Osage County which lambasted the cult.

    • Krew13

      As far as I know, Juliette Lewis hasn’t left.

  • Pierrot

    The First post at 10:00am ETZ of the:
    CL List for the 2014/02/24 A-Z from 2014/02/23 to 2014/02/24 from 09:00am to 09:00am ETZ
    https://whyweprotest.net/community/threads/taking-down-co-on-craigslist-co-ads-on-craigslist.113779/page-54#post-2424557

    Do not forget our Canadian friends
    https://whyweprotest.net/community/threads/taking-down-co-on-craigslist-co-ads-on-craigslist.113779/page-54#post-2424277

    Give us your suggestions for improving the performance of the flagging,
    Presentation, timing, notifications, anything else that you can think of?

    • Dancing Cranberry

      For safety, although it looks as though your post is staying, Pierrot.

    • WildaBeast

      LOL – just had a quick look at the Canadian pages, and NOTHING is posted to Toronto craigslist. I suppose all of our municipal insanity has been focused on electing and supporting Mayor Rob Ford…

      • RMycroft

        Rob Ford is our focused municipal insanity.

        • WildaBeast

          Tell me about it. I’d vote for Karen Stintz if it would get him out of office. Maybe once he’s out of the public eye he’ll take his ass to therapy and rehab – or at least, if he doesn’t, it won’t matter.

          • Panopea Abrupta

            Send him to Narcanon.
            I’m told they have a 76% cure rate.

          • sumdayiwill

            Heard John Tory threw his hat into the ring!

    • aquaclara

      Great job, Pierrot! I flagged everybody. It is so helpful that you aggregate the postings to make it easy for me to flag them.

      Some come off, and with energy, more will. This, plus flyer mania, appear to be the only way Scientology can attempt to recruit. So taking this down will be rewarding.

      I am betting that my energy will last longer than theirs.

    • Panopea Abrupta

      It’s fine like it is.
      Takes a few minutes to whack all dem moles before they turn into cancers.

      Done

  • Markthehungarian

    Considering this was such a “momentous” occasion for the Church of Scientology in England, one which they claim is a stepping stone towards being recognized as a religion (it’s not, of course), where are the THOUSANDS of UK scientologists? All I see in the picture are about 20-40 people. Is that all?

    I’m happy for the couple, and all that, but the scale of the event is a real reflection on the state of the Church of Scientology in the UK.

    How come they didn’t get married at St. Hill? The place where it all started? (Or was that Phoenix. Or Portland. Or somewhere off the coast of Africa?)

    • Douglas D. Douglas

      You are asking the wrong questions. These are too sensible.

    • RMycroft

      Maybe no one was too excited about the wedding itself? After all, they’ve been living together for years.

      • WildaBeast

        So have most people, by the time they get married; at least, if they have any sense! Nah, I’m betting the wedding registry was all, “Help us up our IAS status with a gift of 5,000 pounds per person in our names!”, and so only a handful could afford to show up…

        • Mooser

          “So have most people, by the time they get married; at least, if they have any sense!”

          Absolutely not. And I do believe people who do live together before marriage are more likely to divorce. Besides, why put up with the bull if you can get your milk for free?

          • kemist

            Weird.

            Most couples I know have lived together before marriage, including my parents, and they’re still together for 30+ years.

            The ones who did not ended in a financial disaster.

            Better know if your partner is someone you can at least tolerate living with before you spend that much on a party. Or even worse, on a house. Divorce isn’t good news when you’ve got that much debt. Syndic gets everything in case you’re bankrupted.

          • WildaBeast

            Well, we’re planning a wedding in early fall 2016, by which time we will have been together for 12 years and cohabiting for EXACTLY the same length of time (this is what happens when lesbians have a ‘one-night stand’!). It may well be a generational thing, but I figure that if you live with someone for a while without the pressure to stay together that marriage continues to impose on couples due to a cultural perception thing, you have time to figure out whether you can actually stick it out for the rest of your lives. And if you can’t, and you break up, it’s a lot less of a headache than a divorce.

            • Anonymous

              LOL. The UHaul, was no joke, and you didn’t even need a second date.

            • WildaBeast

              I know, right? We also used to have a large dog, now own a cat, and have a really epic collection of tea. I really didn’t mean to be a stereotype, but…I guess that’s how they get to be stereotypes.

  • Douglas D. Douglas

    As we wait for further development, here are screen shots of a couple of things that made me smile, anyway. From the “Independent Scientologist” web site home page:

    • Dancing Cranberry

      “World’s most rewarding profession”? Really? On what basis?

      • ze moo

        in the early days of the scam, ‘trained auditor’s could make very good money. Only with the consolidation to the Ideal mOrgs have auditors become direct employees of the mOrg and as such get the $50/week pay. I don’t think that you will find many full pay by the hour auditors outside of the smaller missions and towns where there is no large chirch or mOrg. I do have to wonder if full pay auditors are pressured to donate back most of their pay.

        Auditors and case supervisors and body routers (called disseminators above) were the level of the pyramid that did all the work of getting new meat in and starting them on the path to brain death by sucking the money out. People good at those jobs made decent money. They have been slowly cut out of the $ since the mission holders massacre of 1981.

        Do any exs or under the radar clams have better info? Solid info re numbers of auditors and their current pay scale is hard to come by.

        • Mooser

          The only thing I have seen on that was at one of the “R’s” . A commenter encouraged a person who was very relieved he could receive auditing outside of Scientology. He contended independent auditors charge ” half or a quarter as much” as “Corporate Scientology”

          And from the prices in the Headley-Hines articles, we can see what a bargain independent auditing must be.

          • ze moo

            The ‘courses’ that Tony has featured in the Bunker quote thousands of dollars charged for auditing. How much do ’employed by the mOrg’ auditors get to keep? And how many ‘not employed by the chirch’ auditors are there now?

            The stories of auditors rolling in the dough may just be ‘creative advertising’ by the clampire.

            • Mooser

              Nobody ever taught Miscavige that you gotta spread the gelt around. Let somebody else have a few bucks, a little security.

            • Panopea Abrupta

              He likes to geld instead.

            • Minion Gayle

              Ouch.

        • Captain Howdy

          Auditors and especially repair auditors use to be rolling in the clover from what I’ve read.

      • Mooser

        If it were not true that I am an devotee, nearly an addict of whole-berry cranberry sauce (My MILs with orange zest is very good) I might get upset.
        Don’t you see, the problem is that Hubbard and Miscavige kept Scientology from being evaluated by Science. The Indies will not make this mistake! No! The Indies will bring Scientology into the modern era of science, and they will progress together hand-in-can.

        • Mooser

          In fact the Independently Associated Association of Independent Scientologists, or IAAIS, is preparing delegations to the NIH and CDC as we speak! They will also give an E-meter to the Mayo Clinic. They say it’ll end the problem with lumps.

          • Panopea Abrupta

            Don’t we have vaccines for lumps?

      • Captain Howdy

        A North Korean survey.

    • kemist

      They have strange definitions of “earn a living”, “rewarding”, “profession” and “career”.

      • Douglas D. Douglas

        What struck me as funny is that after that glowing description, the link says, “Article coming soon.”

        Reminds me of an anecdote that Alexander Woolcott related about the 1939 New York World’s Fair. The pavilion dedicated to religion had a fairly pretentious entrance, above which were carved the words, “Righteousness exalteth a nation.” The pavilion wasn’t finished during the opening days of the Fair, so the scripture was augmented by a smaller sign that read, “Not yet ready.”

        • WildaBeast

          Righteousness hath so many contradictory definitions that perhaps we should just chuck the whole mess and try to live in accordance with what’s RIGHT, instead. Just sayin’.

    • Sunny Sands

      I thought this was a shoop “It’s 1950 all over again!”.

      • Douglas D. Douglas

        Sometimes, the jokes are just lying there like gold nuggets, waiting to be picked up and polished off.

    • Bury_The_Nuts

      As Nancy Kerrigan so eloquently put it, some twenty years ago……..

      why, Why, WHY? (are you making me look at Steve Hall)

      Seriously? WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
      Don’t we have a rule or something??????

      • Douglas D. Douglas

        So sorry, but I don’t even know who that is. (Steve H., not Nancy Kerrigan.)

        • Bury_The_Nuts

          Sometimes not knowing is a good thing.

  • RMycroft

    A question for exes: Scientology Divorce

    What’s involved in a Scientology divorce? Knowing CoS from the outside, I’m sure that they jam their oars in for the benefit of Scientology everywhere: Ethics, “chaplains”, ComEv, assigning conditions, keeping the lawyers away, and absolutely forbidding going to the courts. Am I right?

    • WildaBeast

      Most Scientology divorces I’ve heard about happened when one person blew and the other stayed in 🙁

      • Mooser

        Divorce, Scientology Style!

      • Cece

        Yup ~ been through 3 of exactly that….
        1st 2 they left and 3rd I left.

        • WildaBeast

          That sucks, Cece. It really does, and I’m sorry. On the plus side, you’re well out of it now.

    • Captain Howdy

      A scientology divorce is simply postulating and as-isning that wife #2 never existed.

      • WildaBeast

        Don’t forget to kidnap the baby!

    • Ruby

      A scientology marriage is considered a legal marriage as long as the minister of the cherch who performed the ceremony signs and files the marriage license.
      So, after the couple tries to save the marriage thru chaplain handling and marriage counseling (paid for of course at a nice sum of $$), it would go the route as any legal marriage ending in divorce…thru the courts to make it official. However, they do need to be careful of dragging the good name of scientology into the courts because if one does, they will most certainly be declared an SP.

      • TheHoleDoesNotExist

        You left out the part where they have to cough up the list of assets and who owns what, who has the most current potential of future income, and who has the most powerful networking connections. The one with the most toys wins. The other is labelled useless, a charity case, a victim, ethics bait, gold digger and is either pounded on to knock off case and join staff or declared either PTS or SP right on the spot, depending on whether the head reg and FSM deems them qualified, worthy of in the near future sales. The winner will be introduced to a “qualified” potential spouse. You will be matched with someone near your own bridge level. In fact, someone who is on OT levels and the other not can be a valid reason for tossing them to the curb in scientology. The OT doesn’t realize it’s only because he or she is considered to have the means to get More money, not because their special.

        It doesn’t matter what you are doing inside scientology land. Whatever it is, you are reworked and resubmitted for sales qualifying workover for this week’s sale. Here’s their theta dating sight to get a taste:

        http://www.freespiritsingles.com/

        • Ruby

          Thank God I never divorced! My spouse and I were always on the same page.

        • WildaBeast

          That’s chilling.

  • kemist

    For those who are in need of their dose of lulz / cray-cray for today :

    https://whyweprotest.net/community/threads/scientology-ally-louis-farrakhan-says-a-powerful-shadow-government-hides-ufo-truth.117009/

    Farrakhan spewed some seriously demented stuff about “wheels in the sky”, “scientists”, UFOs and area 51. Caution : contains nuts. All of ’em.

  • Anonymous

    Here’s a piece of irony while we await Tony’s next story.

    It has often been commented here on how the leadership of Scientology hides behind fancy sounding and well-surveyed words, which are used to deflect and distract examination of it’s more malevolent practices as well as deposition of those who employ those malevolent practices for their own personal benefit.

    Sea Org Captain David Miscavige has been positioning himself as the “ecclesiastical leader” of the Church of Scientology, which is of course an attempt an attempt to hide his craven conduct behind religiosity, which he hopes will help him avoid civil and possibly criminal prosecution for his malevolent actions (at least in the United States.)

    Shown immediately below is the definition for “Ecclesiology” in Wikipedia:

    “Ecclesiology usually refers to the theological study of the Christian Church. However, when the word was coined in England in the early 1840s, it was defined as the science of the building and decoration of church buildings and it is still, though rarely, used in this sense.”

    Note the second sentence in the Wikipedia paragraph above.

    For once and almost entirely by accident, the Church of Scientology may actually be telling the (partial) truth about something. Heh.

    • Panopea Abrupta

      You know he word-cleared it.

  • Tony Ortega

    UPDATE: I have the document I need. But first I’m talking to someone about a story. I’ll have a post up early in the afternoon.

  • georget1952

    “The 2011 census in England and Wales revealed that only 2,418 people
    considered themselves Scientologists — even though the church itself
    claims more than 100,000 adherents in the country.

    Scientologists were vastly outnumbered by Rastafarians (7,906) and Zoroastrians (4,105).”

    Maybe this is the reason Tiny Dude decided to have the Big Circus Tent brought over to Clearwater for all the big Ta Doo’s that are usually over in the UK?

  • Victoria Pandora

    I got married once in Pasadena and once at Flag. I could have sworn there was some lame line in that ceremony about women needing a new dress every now and then, and so forth.
    Ironically my third wedding in Las Vegas to a lowly wog is the only one that “took”. Been almost 20 years now. WOGS ROCK, lol.

    • Bury_The_Nuts

      According to an article on Beliefnet:
      “The book has five versions of the wedding ceremony: traditional, Informal, Single Ring, Double Ring, and Concise Double Ring. In the 1950s, L. Ron Hubbard wrote wedding vows that stress the mutual needs of the couple, now referred to as Scientology’s “traditional ceremony.” They include such quaint advice to the groom as “Now —–, girls need clothes and food and tender happiness and frills, a pan, a comb, perhaps a cat. All caprice if you will, but still they need them,” and to the bride: “Hear well, sweet —–, for promise binds. Young men are free and may forget. Remind him that you may have necessities and follies, too.” [2]

      • Tomato Thetan

        His prose makes me throw up a little in my mouth.

        • WildaBeast

          “Young men are free and may forget. Remind him that you may have necessities and follies, too.”

          Why does this sound to me like a veiled permission to cheat on one another?

      • Gerard Plourde

        Not only banal but sexist.

      • Victoria Pandora

        yep, that sounds more like it.

    • TheHoleDoesNotExist

      I thought there was a dress in there too. I’m surprised the revision didn’t got to “frock”.

  • Zer0

    Minister: Ack?
    Ale: Ack.
    Louisa: Ack.

    Minster: Ack acked?
    Ale: Ack acked.
    Louis: Ack acked.

    Minister: Ack ack acked. You may kiss the bride.

    • Mooser

      You know, that makes me wonder. If a person can self-audit by holding both cans in one hand, could married couples audit by joining hands, and each holding a can? That way, two could audit as cheaply as one!

      • Miss Tia

        That answers your question right there—nothing is cheap in the Co$! Husbands and wives have to have their OWN e-meters too and can’t even discuss their own progress with each other!

        • Mooser

          “and can’t even discuss their own progress with each other!”

          That makes sense, when one imagines this little domestic scenario:

          Mrs. Sci: “Honey, I’m home from the Org! Can you believe it? I went OT today!”
          Mr. Sci: “In that case, get me a beer.”

    • kemist

      Sounds like the dialogue between two IP addresses in the TCP protocol.

      Minister : Syn ?
      Ale : Syn
      Louisa : Syn

      Minister: Ack ?
      Ale : Ack
      Louisa : Ack

      Minister : You may now send html to each other.

      • Panopea Abrupta

        Nack

        • kemist

          FIN

      • Panopea Abrupta

        Mebbe we could defenestrate ’em through the sliding windows?

  • Observer

    RIP Harold Ramis *cries*

  • Panopea Abrupta

    Alessandro and Louisa went to the Greenfields school in East Grinstead, founded by her grandmother.
    There used to be 200 students or so 30 years ago.
    Now there are about 100.
    That is for ages 3 to 17, so about 6 kids per class.

    “Fastest growing ..” 🙂

    Academically, it is appalling. It uses Hubbard’s study “tech” and strives as successfully as he did for under-education.
    It’s not an accident that Alessandro is a self-taught graphics artist.
    He probably produces the dreck for the Sunday funnies.

    1994 article:
    http://cosmedia.freewinds.be/media/articles/arg100694.html

    They’ve gotten worse since.

    • WildaBeast

      It’s a freakin’ miracle that kids raised in Scientology can read and write at all.

  • disqus_SPiN5N4Adl

    Off topic: I don’t suppose Davey will emulate THIS Papal development: Pope Revolutionizes Vatican by Opening Finances to Scrutiny (http://www.nytimes.com/reuters/2014/02/24/business/24reuters-vatican-bank.html)

    • Cat Daddy
      • Mooser

        Bloomberg “Surveillance”? Looks more like a public speech to me.

    • Eclipse-girl

      I am not a Catholic.

      I was raised protestant and am not an atheist.

      I am been impressed with Pope Francis. I hope he survives the Curia

      • Scream Nevermore

        He’s a Jesuit. They’ll be watching his back. And they’re the SAS of priests!

  • Sibs

    Okay, okay, one more off-topic post before I actually leave – I have “Grease Lightning” stuck on my head, and it just makes me sad. I still haven’t figured out how to reconcile my love for that movie with the fact that the lead is a Scilon.

    RUN AWAY, JOHN TRAVOLTA!

    • Sibs

      (I was going to say “BLOW” but…)

  • Tony Ortega

    NEW POST UP

    • Mooser

      And it’s a doozy!

  • Eclipsegirl
    • Eclipsegirl

      Dot

  • Scream Nevermore

    The wedding wasn’t in any of the papers or any of the news programmes on the telly, as far as I could see. That’s because no-one gives a toss about 2 weirdoes and their weirdo cult, no matter what recognition the {church} thinks/claims the decision got them!

  • Verve

    Allesandro- “If people say we’re secretive how do we disprove that? We’re saying we’re not.”
    OK, give me the official documents for all the OT levels. Without payment. That’s how you disprove it, you jackalope. Because apparently the OT III stuff I read cannot be correct since I was not “prepared” for it and I have not died of pneumonia yet.

  • Steve Bazemore

    Lol their wedding ceremony sounds like an objectives or TR session