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Sunday Funnies: What part of ‘rebel’ doesn’t Scientology understand?

RebelIdealOur tipsters really came through this week with an amazing collection of the latest mailers and fliers that the Church of Scientology has been sending to its members from various divisions around the world.

We love to show them to you in our weekly feature we call Sunday Funnies, and this week the line between comedy and tragedy is especially tenuous.

As usual, Scientologists are being begged to attend fundraising parties where they’ll be put under intense pressure to donate thousands for building programs they’ve been asked to fund time and time again. The organizers of these fleecing events seem to be under the impression that if they can only come up with a clever theme for the evening, church members won’t be able to resist attending.

And for us, that raises a question. Isn’t the very point of Scientology supposed to be that it gives these members the mental capacity to see through such ham-fisted attempts to separate them from their money? Food for thought.

Anyway, let’s start things off this week with a poem…

 

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Are you really going there, Silicon Valley? A James Dean theme party to raise money for your new building? Someone needs to word clear ‘rebels’ in the tech dictionary.

 
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“Forming the system by which to handle the paperwork of the planet” — that L. Ron Hubbard, such a spiritual leader!

 
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“I can say with total certainty that the true livingness I get from being on staff outweighs any personal interests I gave up.” — Whatever you say, Josh.

 
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Memorial Day fun at the Celebrity Centre. Yeehaw.

 
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Ooh, we had a big party and showed everyone the new space plan. This planet will be cleared in no time!

 
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Jim says it was ‘gutsy’ of him to write a big check to Scientology. If that helps you get through the night when bills are due, Jim, then so be it.

 
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Dallas Org gets a day and night shift! This city will be cleared in no time!

 
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Yes! We love seeing these after-event fliers that show us the results of a themed event. In this case, look at these Silicon Valley nerds getting their Star Wars on! And everyone’s a lot poorer as a result!

 
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You’ve seen the video, now look at how Scientology makes the Sydney event look like a total success! (And note: Auckland is next!)

 
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Can you say, ‘Sea Org recruiting’?

 
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And finally, Her Royal Governess and the whales of the Valley are ready to pull out all the stops. This one gives us chills!

 
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Thanks again to our amazing tipsters!

 
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Posted by Tony Ortega on May 11, 2014 at 08:00

E-mail your tips and story ideas to tonyo94@gmail.com or follow us on Twitter. We post behind-the-scenes updates at our Facebook author page. Here at the Bunker we try to have a post up every morning at 7 AM Eastern (Noon GMT), and on some days we post an afternoon story at around 2 PM. After every new story we send out an alert to our e-mail list and our FB page.

Learn about Scientology with our numerous series with experts…

BLOGGING DIANETICS (We read Scientology’s founding text) 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25

UP THE BRIDGE (Claire Headley and Bruce Hines train us as Scientologists) 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43

GETTING OUR ETHICS IN (Jefferson Hawkins explains Scientology’s system of justice) 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14

SCIENTOLOGY MYTHBUSTING (Historian Jon Atack discusses key Scientology concepts) 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43

PZ Myers reads L. Ron Hubbard’s “A History of Man” | Scientology’s Master Spies | Scientology’s Private Dancer

 

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