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Scientology is uniting vastly different countries to take over the world!

At a time when there’s so much strife in the world, isn’t it heartwarming to know that Scientology, at least, is creating bridges across this troubled globe?

Now, you may scoff and say that Scientology’s Ireland org put together this mailer because no one who actually lives in Ireland wants anything to do with it, and so it’s desperate for foreigners to fly in for services because, well, no one there will go near the place.

But we choose to look at this propaganda as a window into what a wonderful world it will be when Scientology “clears the planet” and people from Canada will be getting services in Ireland by the thousands, and you doubters will be disposed of quietly and without sorrow.

Enjoy this happy message from the folks in Dublin…





Bonus items from our tipsters

Todd and Daniela move up to Silver Humanitarian! ($500,000)



Technology Cocktail

“THE GORILLA GOALS: This same pattern, but given in an amusement park with a single tunnel, a roller coaster and a Ferris wheel, was used between about 319 trillion years ago to about 256
trillion trillion years ago, a long span. The symbol of a Gorilla was always present in the place the goal was given. Sometimes a large gorilla, black, was seen elsewhere than the park. A mechanical or a live gorilla was always seen in the park. This activity was conducted by the Hoipolloi, a group of operators in meat body societies. They were typical carnival people. They let out concessions for these implant ‘Amusement Parks.’ A pink-striped white shirt with sleeve garters was the uniform of the Hoipolloi. Such a figure often rode on the roller coaster cars. Monkeys were also used on the cars. Elephants sometimes formed part of the equipment. The Hoipolloi or Gorilla goals were laid in with fantastic motion. Blasts of raw electricity and explosions were both used to lay the items in. The series is always five goals. These are very simple goals, no long words. To End, To be Dead, To be Asleep, To be Solid, To Create, To Find, To be Visible, To be Sexual (not To have Sex as some pcs give it), To be Invisible, To Postulate and a very few more were used, always five goals in a series. The series usually started with To be Dead, but To End, To Sleep and To be Asleep must also be investigated as the first goal of each series.” — L. Ron Hubbard, 1963


Now available: A bonus for our supporters

A week ago we started an experiment with Substack, and the results so far have been very exciting. We asked our longtime readers to sign up for free emails so that each morning the Substack feature arrived in their email inbox. Not only have many of you done so, but some of you also took out paid subscriptions without being asked to. We are humbled by your generosity, and we wanted to show our appreciation. So, to that end, we finally decided to put together something that people have been asking us about for a long time: Yes, we recorded the first Underground Bunker podcast this week. It went out yesterday to our paid subscribers, and features the inimitable Marc Headley telling us some great stories about Scientology leader David Miscavige that we had never heard before. Give it a listen!




Source Code

“The president of a law school had been employed to obtain this warrant and the Chief Federal United States Marshal, I think they have a sort of a feeling like they’re still western marshals or something. They go around with big guns hanging on them and so forth. The only trouble is they normally pick people off Skid Row to have these jobs, and it’s rather incongruous, you see. And this fellow, he was utterly mad-dogging because he was sure that I had just beaten up two of his marshals. Actually, I hadn’t beaten up a marshal. I had taken the gun away from one and told him how to use it and put it back in his holster, because I thought he would get into trouble. I explained it to him. I said, ‘You’ll get in trouble waving that about and so forth; and this is the hammer, and this is the trigger.’ And he handed it over to me, and I said, ‘These are the butt plates, and there’s the ammunition,’ and so forth, and slid the cartridges out of the chamber and told him to put them in his pocket, and put the gun back. Nobody was picking on him, and it was all all right, and he did it. You think I’m kidding you, but he did it. ” — L. Ron Hubbard, June 26, 1961


Avast, Ye Mateys

“There’s lots of good work being done — it’s in the majority. For instance the great majority of sessions today were excellent. And on changing anchorage all hands, bow and stern anchors, there wasn’t a single flub. And I had a fresh lobster dinner beautifully done. And several people handled the naval visit beautifully indeed. So I can quote an old poem: A HEALTH UNTO THE HAPPY/A FIG FOR HE WHO FRETS.” — The Commodore, June 26, 1969


Overheard in the FreeZone

“Only a few have made it to class VIII, yet many allege they made it! By themselves! In the Freezone! Imagine that! If it is hard work with course supervisors, a CS, word Clearers, false data stripping and a whole org behind you! I cannot imagine it in the FZ! No, those are just cons!”



Past is Prologue

2000: The Riverside Press-Enterprise reported in three articles that a woman at Scientology’s Gold Base near Hemet, California was killed by electrocution in a utility pit. “A Church of Scientology member was electrocuted in a bizarre accident Sunday morning in an underground vault at the church’s film studio north of San Jacinto, authorities said. She was a woman in her 20s who had been a church member for 2 1/2 years, said Riverside County sheriff’s spokeswoman Lisa McConnell. The girl was a production company crew member at Golden Era Studios, which produces promotional and training films for the church. Firefighters were called to the scene about 10:15 a.m., said Riverside County fire Capt. Tim Chavez. The call first came out as a traffic collision, then as a structure fire. ‘When we arrived we found a woman electrocuted in a below-ground level vault, obviously dead,’ Chavez said, adding she was badly burned.”


Random Howdy

“You’re the bees knees, i-Betty. You’re the one.”


Full Court Press: What we’re watching at the Underground Bunker

Criminal prosecutions:
Danny Masterson charged for raping three women: Next pretrial conference June 30. Trial scheduled for October 11.
‘Lafayette Ronald Hubbard’ (a/k/a Justin Craig), aggravated assault, plus drug charges: Last hearing was on January 18, referred to grand jury. Additional charges also referred to grand jury after January 5 assault while in jail.
Jay and Jeff Spina, Medicare fraud: Jay sentenced to 9 years in prison. Jeff’s sentencing to be scheduled.

Rizza Islam and other family members, Medi-Cal fraud: Readiness hearing scheduled for August 22 in Los Angeles
David Gentile, GPB Capital, fraud: Next pretrial conference set for September 19.
Yanti Mike Greene, Scientology private eye accused of contempt of court: Found guilty of criminal and civil contempt.

Civil litigation:
Baxter, Baxter, and Paris v. Scientology, alleging labor trafficking: Complaint filed April 28 in Tampa federal court.
Luis and Rocio Garcia v. Scientology: Eleventh Circuit affirmed ruling granting Scientology’s motion for arbitration. Garcias considering next move.
Valerie Haney v. Scientology: Forced to ‘religious arbitration.’ Valerie’s motion for reconsideration denied on March 15.
Chrissie Bixler et al. v. Scientology and Danny Masterson: Appellate court removes requirement of arbitration on January 19, case remanded back to Superior Court. Next hearing scheduled for June 29.
Brian Statler Sr v. City of Inglewood: Third amended complaint filed, trial set for December 6.
Author Steve Cannane defamation trial: New trial ordered after appeals court overturned prior ruling.
Chiropractors Steve Peyroux and Brent Detelich, stem cell fraud: Lawsuit filed by the FTC and state of Georgia in August, now in discovery phase.



We first broke the news of the LAPD’s investigation of Scientology celebrity Danny Masterson on rape allegations in 2017, and we’ve been covering the story every step of the way since then. At this page we’ve collected our most important links, including our four days in Los Angeles covering the preliminary hearing and its ruling, which has Danny facing trial and the potential sentence of 45 years to life in prison.


After the success of their double-Emmy-winning, three-season A&E series ‘Scientology and the Aftermath,’ Leah Remini and Mike Rinder continue the conversation on their podcast, ‘Scientology: Fair Game.’ We’ve created a landing page where you can hear all of the episodes so far.


An episode-by-episode guide to Leah Remini’s three-season, double-Emmy winning series that changed everything for Scientology watching. Originally aired from 2016 to 2019 on the A&E network, and now on Netflix.


Find your favorite Hubbardite celeb at this index page — or suggest someone to add to the list!

Other links: SCIENTOLOGY BLACK OPS: Tom Cruise and dirty tricks. Scientology’s Ideal Orgs, from one end of the planet to the other. Scientology’s sneaky front groups, spreading the good news about L. Ron Hubbard while pretending to benefit society. Scientology Lit: Books reviewed or excerpted in a weekly series. How many have you read?


[ONE year ago] Scientology to US Supreme Court: Valerie Haney predicament is not a First Amendment case
[TWO years ago] Derek Bloch: Why is Scientology keeping a dying mother away from her son?
[THREE years ago] Scientology destroyed her family, but this former Sea Org worker has a surprise ending
[FOUR years ago] VIDEO: ‘Chicago Fire’ star Christian Stolte’s tribute to Scientology founder L. Ron Hubbard
[FIVE years ago] Scientology’s sneaky strategy: Suck up to police departments through ‘Drug-Free’ campaigns
[SIX years ago] David Miscavige gets ribbon-happy in Florida: It’s the Scientology social media review!
[SEVEN years ago] Jefferson Hawkins on how Scientology closes minds — a new podcast
[EIGHT years ago] Scientology has a new recruitment video to get you to sign up for a billion years!
[TEN years ago] Luka Magnotta’s Scientology Screed: “I Wished Every Night That Tom Cruise Would Adopt Me”


Scientology disconnection, a reminder

Bernie Headley (1952-2019) did not see his daughter Stephanie in his final 5,667 days.
Valerie Haney has not seen her mother Lynne in 2,707 days.
Katrina Reyes has not seen her mother Yelena in 3,212 days
Sylvia Wagner DeWall has not seen her brother Randy in 2,762 days.
Brian Sheen has not seen his grandson Leo in 1,752 days.
Geoff Levin has not seen his son Collin and daughter Savannah in 1,643 days.
Christie Collbran has not seen her mother Liz King in 4,949 days.
Clarissa Adams has not seen her parents Walter and Irmin Huber in 2,818 days.
Carol Nyburg has not seen her daughter Nancy in 3,592 days.
Doug Kramer has not seen his parents Linda and Norm in 1,923 days.
Jamie Sorrentini Lugli has not seen her father Irving in 4,396 days.
Quailynn McDaniel has not seen her brother Sean in 3,712 days.
Dylan Gill has not seen his father Russell in 12,278 days.
Melissa Paris has not seen her father Jean-Francois in 8,197 days.
Valeska Paris has not seen her brother Raphael in 4,365 days.
Mirriam Francis has not seen her brother Ben in 3,945 days.
Claudio and Renata Lugli have not seen their son Flavio in 4,207 days.
Sara Goldberg has not seen her daughter Ashley in 3,243 days.
Lori Hodgson has not seen her son Jeremy and daughter Jessica in 2,958 days.
Marie Bilheimer has not seen her mother June in 2,483 days.
Julian Wain has not seen his brother Joseph or mother Susan in 838 days.
Charley Updegrove has not seen his son Toby in 2,013 days.
Joe Reaiche has not seen his daughter Alanna Masterson in 6,564 days
Derek Bloch has not seen his father Darren in 3,713 days.
Cindy Plahuta has not seen her daughter Kara in 4,033 days.
Roger Weller has not seen his daughter Alyssa in 8,888 days.
Claire Headley has not seen her mother Gen in 4,007 days.
Ramana Dienes-Browning has not seen her mother Jancis in 2,363 days.
Mike Rinder has not seen his son Benjamin and daughter Taryn in 6,666 days.
Brian Sheen has not seen his daughter Spring in 2,772 days.
Skip Young has not seen his daughters Megan and Alexis in 3,170 days.
Mary Kahn has not seen her son Sammy in 3,046 days.
Lois Reisdorf has not seen her son Craig in 2,629 days.
Phil and Willie Jones have not seen their son Mike and daughter Emily in 3,124 days.
Mary Jane Barry has not seen her daughter Samantha in 3,378 days.
Kate Bornstein has not seen her daughter Jessica in 14,487 days.


Posted by Tony Ortega on June 26, 2022 at 07:00

E-mail tips to tonyo94 AT gmail DOT com or follow us on Twitter. We also post updates at our Facebook author page. After every new story we send out an alert to our e-mail list and our FB page.

Our new book with Paulette Cooper, Battlefield Scientology: Exposing L. Ron Hubbard’s dangerous ‘religion’ is now on sale at Amazon in paperback and Kindle formats. Our book about Paulette, The Unbreakable Miss Lovely: How the Church of Scientology tried to destroy Paulette Cooper, is on sale at Amazon in paperback, Kindle, and audiobook versions. We’ve posted photographs of Paulette and scenes from her life at a separate location. Reader Sookie put together a complete index. More information can also be found at the book’s dedicated page.

The Best of the Underground Bunker, 1995-2021 Just starting out here? We’ve picked out the most important stories we’ve covered here at the Underground Bunker (2012-2021), The Village Voice (2008-2012), New Times Los Angeles (1999-2002) and the Phoenix New Times (1995-1999)

Other links: BLOGGING DIANETICS: Reading Scientology’s founding text cover to cover | UP THE BRIDGE: Claire Headley and Bruce Hines train us as Scientologists | GETTING OUR ETHICS IN: Jefferson Hawkins explains Scientology’s system of justice | SCIENTOLOGY MYTHBUSTING: Historian Jon Atack discusses key Scientology concepts | Shelly Miscavige, 15 years gone | The Lisa McPherson story told in real time | The Cathriona White stories | The Leah Remini ‘Knowledge Reports’ | Hear audio of a Scientology excommunication | Scientology’s little day care of horrors | Whatever happened to Steve Fishman? | Felony charges for Scientology’s drug rehab scam | Why Scientology digs bomb-proof vaults in the desert | PZ Myers reads L. Ron Hubbard’s “A History of Man” | Scientology’s Master Spies | The mystery of the richest Scientologist and his wayward sons | Scientology’s shocking mistreatment of the mentally ill | The Underground Bunker’s Official Theme Song | The Underground Bunker FAQ

Watch our short videos that explain Scientology’s controversies in three minutes or less…

Check your whale level at our dedicated page for status updates, or join us at the Underground Bunker’s Facebook discussion group for more frivolity.

Our non-Scientology stories: Robert Burnham Jr., the man who inscribed the universe | Notorious alt-right inspiration Kevin MacDonald and his theories about Jewish DNA | The selling of the “Phoenix Lights” | Astronomer Harlow Shapley‘s FBI file | Sex, spies, and local TV news | Battling Babe-Hounds: Ross Jeffries v. R. Don Steele


Tony Ortega at The Daily Beast


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