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RANDOM HOWDY: Your daily dose of the Captain

 
Starting on October 6, 2019, we began a new daily feature here in the Bunker, quoting randomly from the amazing collection of wisdom from commenter Steve Cox, a/k/a “Captain Howdy,” who died in 2015 and whom our annual HowdyCon gathering is named after. Here’s the collection of Howdy’s utterances we’ve posted so far…

Oct 6: “Man, my groovy shark vid got no votes, but my simple-minded off-the-cuff remark got top vote. You people are weird.”

Oct 7: “I had a dream I was L. Ron Hubbard and I was wearing a cape, sitting on a throne, with a bevy of teenage beauties sitting at my feet.”

Oct 8: “Not all of us are rich enough to afford cable and some of us think it’s a wasteland.”

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Oct 9: “This place is nuts, but not half as nuts as YouTube. It’s just a little bit more serious and astute and friendly.”

Oct 10: “I lived through 70’s Punk, early 80’s hardcore, late 80’s alternative, and whatever passed for a scene in the first half of the 90’s, and most of my friends from those time periods are dead. But at least they had some really good times before their number came up. I don’t think Scientologists can say the same.”

Oct 11: “Man-animals, come out of your caves. The Psychlos have deserted the planet. We have won!”

Oct 12: “I had really bad nightmares when I was young — one was a nightly reoccurring one that lasted almost a year and almost drove me insane. Something about HR Pufnstuf reminds me of those dreams. My dream would start soon as I laid down because in the dream I was still awake lying in my bed. All of the sudden reptilian hands would shoot up from underneath the end of the bed and grab my legs and pull me underneath the bed dragging me at breakneck speed down a hellish tunnel where creatures were living in the walls to meet my arch nemesis King Frog and his henchman Baby Huey. They would torture me for hours laughing and mocking me.”

Oct 13: “I’m not here to change anybody’s mind. I’m a soldier.”

Oct 14: “So my mom being constipated and my dad poking me in the eye with his dick is the reason my life is shit? Thanks Ron, I knew it was their fault somehow, but I thought it had something to do with bad genes.”

Oct 15: “Scientology may be circling the drain but there’s no shortage of crazy waiting in the wings. It’s going to be a long uphill battle to get to the top and stop the billions of minds waiting in line to go down that slippery slope called ‘magical thinking’.”

Oct 16: “The only sexual magick Crowley had came from an opium pipe or a syringe loaded with smack that let him keep it up all night. In street parlance it’s called ‘dope dick’.”

Oct 17: “I’m still amazed considering the subject of this forum when I read folks wondering about the efficacy of homeopathy, naturopathy, acupuncture, chiropractic medicine etc. People, assume everything’s a scam or magical thinking and work it back from there.”

Oct 18: “I asked vaLLarrr the Sci troll one time if any new OT levels were released, and they didn’t include Hubbard’s handwriting on some level, would s/he consider them genuine and s/he said ‘no’.”

Oct 19: “A day without Kirstie is like a day without donuts.”

Oct 20: “Hubbard was like 12 when he was in Asia. The only thing he was studying was jerking off.”

Oct 21: “Do you really think a guy who texts ‘YSCOHB’ to people has the self awareness to realize that Kirstie is making his business look bad?”

Oct 22: “So when your certificates get canceled, whose job is it to track down all those engrams and body thetans and tell them they need to re-implant and re-attach themselves?”

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Oct 23: “When they landed on the Moon, the adults in my neighborhood were crying. I couldn’t understand it at the time.”

Oct 24: “The statistical fact that the vast majority of people who tried Scientology walked away from it almost immediately belies this idea that it’s a world class predatory system. A five percent success rate at hooking sucker fish is not impressive.”

Oct 25: “I’ll have you know I read each and every comment very carefully and that there are a myriad of reasons for why I may upvote them…or not.”

Oct 26: “Seeing as how the Church of Scientology has publicly stated that they are not a turn-the-other-cheek religion, how is any of this a shock to anyone?”

Oct 27: “Maybe you mocked up another version of yourself in a blackout and forgot about it. Ask Marty, it probably has something to do with Quantum Buddhism(c).”

Oct 28: “Being an old school punk/junkie I wish I had a buck for every bad thing I’ve ever heard said, written or depicted about people of my ‘ilk.’ Never mind all the verbal and physical assaults me and my friends had to endure back in the day from the supposedly ‘normal’ people. It goes with the territory called ‘freak.’ Get use to it. Wear it as a badge of experience.”

Oct 29: “You kids need to look around before you start posting comments willy-nilly.”

Oct 30: “When people say they got some good out of Scientology, I think to myself, ‘Yeah, telling your problems, fantasies or opinions to anybody, including hookers and homeless people, makes everybody feel better…derp!.’ This blog is my ‘auditing’.”

Oct 31: “As Claire pointed out, the whole ‘What is true for you is what you have observed yourself’ is a circular logic conundrum. It should be ‘If something isn’t true for you it’s because you have a M/U.’ I recall reading a paper by Touretzky or Kent that explained how the ‘misunderstood word’ is what everything else in Scientology revolves around. It is the key.”

Nov 1: “If Hubbard hadn’t created Scientology, no one would even remember him.”

Nov 2: “Miscavige became Emperor through the Hubbard-approved Roman rules of ascension, which he achieved by his control of the Praetorian guard of the Sea Org, the CMO. Once becoming Caesar, how could he smash his name into the history books of his hermit kingdom? He can’t add to the ‘tech’ so all that is left for him to do is BUILD BUILD BUILD. It’s all about the ruinous runt’s ego.”

Nov 3: “Opus Dei wields more political influence around the world than the Church of Scientology could ever dream of.”

Nov 4: “The way things are going evidence-wise and if DM is required to appear in court, I think Monique could demand an 8-figure deal without an NDA, without any contention.”

Nov 5: “Goodnight everyone and get your rest because tomorrow we travel further up the McSavage River into the Heart Of Darkness.”

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Nov 6: “I understand where you’re coming from but the bottom line is that Scientology is a con and conning people is illegal, regardless of whether the victims are dupes and suckers.”

Nov 7: “I’m still nursing injuries from slam dancing.”

Nov 8: “Monsanto made everybody fat, TV made everybody stupid, and the Internet made everybody crazy.”

Nov 9: “How long did it take for the Shakers to cease to exist? As far as I’m concerned that’s the basic scenario we’re looking at here. The feds aren’t going to do anything about Scientology ever and there’s not going to be any Jonestown event (thank gawd) so what does that leave except a fade out to non-existence?”

Nov 10: “Past life Scientologists have to do the Basics all over again just like everybody else. Fair is fair, ya know?”

Nov 11: “Sunny is definitely Bunker Hall of Fame material after this. As long as she doesn’t get caught doing ‘roids or shooting an associate down the road from her house, she’s a first ballot shoo-in.”

Nov 12: “I’m bemused that ex-Scientologists still actively engage in magical thinking, not realizing that the number one reason that they got sucked into Scientology in the first place is because they were already engaged in magical thinking through a belief and interest in the supernatural and the paranormal which had already placed them on the slippery slope to cult hell.”

Nov 13: “Shit, I was under the gun for suggesting there were mucho socks on board…which was later proven to be true thanks to help from Robert, StillGrace and Andrew…and I was a big meanie for ragging on the noobs for over-commenting…and then I had the audacity to merely hint that the beloved Knickers was anything less than the Virgin Mary. I wasn’t saying shit to anyone at that point.”

Nov 14: “Hubbard had it wrong from the very beginning. Man is an animal and nothing more. Detachment from the material world is one of the main reasons humanity is destroying the material world. Spiritualism is our get out of jail free card.”

Nov 15: “Those who still believe in the tech will say that they ‘know’ that it works from personal experience and that science hasn’t caught up to LRH yet. vaLLarrr used to ask us if we thought we loved our mothers or if we knew we loved our mothers in her attempts to defend the tech as being empirically provable. It’s all self delusional mind games they’re playing with themselves.”

Nov 16: “My wife used to say the reason I was a such a morbid negative weirdo was because of all the horrible stories my dad use to tell me about Korea and WWII and all the other mondo cane shit he saw during his time in the merchant marines. I think she may have been right.”

Nov 17: “Scientology came into existence in the 50s, which saw the advent of the beatniks and new ageism followed by the hippies and a rampant world wide interest in the supernatural, occult, and paranormal. It’s fitting to me that Scientology peaked in the 80s with the rise of the yuppie.”

Nov 18: “Scientologists spend decades on staff and in the Sea Org and never come close to reaching Clear. The number one stated goal of Scientology is to ‘clear the planet’ i.e convert everyone to Scientology either by taking their money or making them indentured servants. Staff and S.O are told not to worry about course work, they can do that in their next lifetimes. The bottom line in Scientology is UPSTAT vs DOWNSTAT. Everything else is window dressing.”

Nov 19: “A Scientology divorce is simply postulating and as-ising that wife #2 never existed.”

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Nov 20: “I worked off and on in the restaurant/hotel industry for years. When the kitchen got slammed i.e busy, pretty soon tempers would flare and everybody would be cursing one another left and right (sometimes it turned to mild violence). Cooks attacking servers, they in turn attacking the busboys who would in turn attack the dishwashers. When it was over everybody would go to the bar, get loaded and try to have sex with each other forgetting the previous transgressions. Words spoken in the heat of the moment mean nothing.”

Nov 21: “It’s not a question of whether the Church of Scientology has ever been capable of world domination, obviously that’s absurd. It’s that Hubbard’s writings state this as his goal which lays the groundwork for banning Scientology and similar organizations by governments around the world, justifiably so, in my opinion. If you’re going to talk shit, don’t cry foul when people make you choke on it.”

Nov 22: “When I first read about the solo auditing I remember thinking, ‘This is genius! Hubbard has these dupes so bamboozled he’s got them ripping themselves off.’ The most expensive part of the Bridge and you’re conning yourself. How would that hold up in court on a fraud charge?”

Nov 23: “All along the Bridge, in the lectures mainly, LRH drops all sorts of clues, inferences, asides that the whole thing was a game and that there was an inside joke. Unfortunately a certain percentage of the faithful failed to pick up on this.”

Nov 24: “My take on it is that Hubbard created Dianetics as a ‘short con’ and when it took off on a level he didn’t expect and when everyone by the early 60’s had reached ‘Clear’ and the gravy train started to slow down he created the ‘long con’ of the OT levels. The $64,000 question is whether due to mental illness and perhaps drug use did he start to believe in his own bullshit? When he says at the end of OTVIII ‘now that you know what you aren’t are you ready to find out what you really are?’ I see this as phase 2 of the long con. Hubbard is saying ‘Hey, guess what kids, I took a detour and I was on the wrong road but now I’m on the right one, so lets go.’ The bottom line and perhaps unanswerable question is how much was calculated and how much was crazy.”

Nov 25: “I’ve always wanted to move to Australia. I could hang out at the pub all day with Nick Cave and the Cosmic Psychos, get a dingo, collect funnel web spiders and tiger snakes and swim with white pointers and salties. Send me a ticket and a few thousand dollars to tie up lose ends and I’ll be right over.”

Nov 26: “Third party law was specifically created by Hubbard to handle mothers-in-law.”

Nov 27: “In ‘Road To Xenu’ Margery Wakefield recounts sitting around in the Sea Org cafeteria watching Star Trek and they were laughing because the wogs didn’t realize that the stuff on the screen was the writer’s suppressed whole track memories. Hubbard said somewhere that science fiction, if not all fiction, was whole track memories unbeknownst to its authors.”

Nov 28: “Every Thanksgiving my Dad would get in a bad mood and start saying stuff like the Native Americans should have slaughtered the pilgrims as soon as they landed.”

Nov 29: “Scientology is a racist philosophy. It’s anti homo sapiens.”

Nov 30: “Professors Kent and Touretzky are the go-to guys in the academic study of Scientology and cults in general.”

Dec 1: “I’m putting out a shoop challenge. I’m envisioning a shoop of LRH with a doll of Miscavige sitting on his lap and Tiny Cancer has a Tom Cruise doll sitting on his lap. The prize to the winner is a chicken dinner or a quadrillion Howdy bucks.”

Dec 2: “I’m an old punk who never had much time for hippies, but in retrospect I gotta admit they accomplished more than we punks did. We just had better fashion and got the music back to where it should be. I don’t know, but it always seems that after a certain point in any movement that the soldiers outlive their usefulness and the diplomats always take over.”

Dec 3: “The really scary thing to me about Carla Moxon is that there are literally millions of others like her in this world that are seriously mentally deluded due to magical thinking and they are among us doing jobs that could cause the rest of us harm if they just go off a tad too much at the wrong time. Anybody keeping track of all the problems going on with members of the ICBM defense system? And that’s not even due to magical thinking.”

Dec 4: “David Miscavige is the Sarah Winchester of cult leaders. He just keeps building and building, trying to keep the ghosts of his and Hubbard’s victims at bay.”

Dec 5: “I remember like 2009 thinking we were kicking ass on Scientology on YouTube and the whole cult/magical thinking in general…and then I discovered David Icke, and I remember thinking ‘What’s the use?’ Knock one down and another takes its place.”

Dec 6: “Posting any old Scientology video isn’t automatically relevant. It should relate to the subject of the day’s article.”

Dec 7: “Hubbard was navy-obsessed. You have to climb up to get to the ‘bridge’ on a ship.”

Dec 8: “On more than one occasion I have met someone and after a few minutes of casual conversation I have been forced to ask myself whether this person is the sort of fellow who is going to attempt to run off with my wife and my car or if he’s the kind of guy that’s going to try and run off with my girlfriend and my boat. Thanks to L. Ron Hubbard I have knowingness of scamingness.”

Dec 9: “Miscavige has billions at his disposal and he has thousands of lackeys and soldiers to order around. He’s the Teflon Pope.”

Dec 10: “Miscavige is a crime boss. If you’re a crime boss or a loan shark you can’t let somebody disrespect you or not pay back a loan, you have to make an example out of them to keep the rest of the underlings in line. This is more important than public perception.”

Dec 11: “Thing is he knows that if Lou called up a restaurant or a movie theater and said ‘Mr. Miscavige would like to visit your establishment, could you please close for the evening to accommodate this,’ they would respond ‘Who?’ His frail ego couldn’t handle this. That’s why the only time he goes out is when he’s with Cruise.”

Dec 12: “I remember one time I was talking to vaLLarrr and she let slip that the universe was 76 trillion years old. The next day she tried to make out she had been talking about the multiverse theory, but when I pressed her on it she admitted that wasn’t what she originally meant — she was honest in a weird way. That was a big win for me to get her to engage in verbal tech because normally she was super slick about avoiding that.”

Dec 13: “Future membership growth for the Church of Scientology has been effectively terminated by the Internet and Anonymous and the old guard critics. Its name is MUD. It’s definitely headed for Shakerdom and that was the original goal. As far as bringing DM to justice and the government doing anything about that, I wouldn’t hold my breath.”

Dec 14: “Most animals have more of an affinity for their offspring than the average Scientologist.”

Dec 15: “The irony is that a supposed spiritual technology that is claimed to be based in science and logic to some degree is actually the most fundamentalist ‘religion’ ever created. The Westboro Baptist Church and the Taliban have nothing on Scientology when it comes to fundamentalist dogma.”

Dec 16: “If communication is the universal solvent, why is it that in Scientology you can’t communicate with other Scientologists or non-Scientologists about how the tech works and what it’s done for you? Is it because it will make their heads explode like the guy in Scanners? Why are there no theologians in Scientology? Why can’t you ask a course supervisor what they think Hubbard really meant by a certain passage? Why is it that Scientologists are only able to respond to non-Scientolgists with rote responses?”

Dec 17: “After Waco the political will to do anything about cults vanished. The main reason they finally did something about Warren Jeffs and the FLDS was because it was a pedo factory. America is a very religious country and it’s also a celebrity-obsessed country. When you have names like Cruise and Travolta running interference for you, you can run a long way.”

Dec 18: “I think it’s safe to say at this point in the proceedings that the reason things are so bad in the unchurch of Scientology aren’t due merely to Miscavige being dumb or incompetent. It’s obvious that he is a purposeful sadist who actively enjoys plotting new ways to torment his captive flock. He’s King Joffery, he’s Ivan the Terrible. He’s freaking nuts.”

Dec 19: “The comments sections on the CCHR vids on YouTube are this uber weird mix of Scientologists and the mentally ill who gravitate to this bullshit because it justifies them not taking their meds. It makes for some very unusual reading.”

Dec 20: “12:35! Oh shit, there goes another day shot to hell.”

Dec 21: “Chinese food, Mexican food, good fish’n’chips and the occasional great hamburger and potatoes are all I need to live.”

Dec 22: “Dude, we don’t get ‘in comm’ with people around here, we talk to them.”

Dec 23: “One of the few things I appreciate about the cult is their retro-ness.”

Dec 24: “‘If all Scientologists were John Travolta clones, Scientology would be a good deal.’ I’m not sure the Massage Association of America would agree with you on that one, Jimmy.”

Dec 25: “Christmas in the U.S was invented by Ulysses S. Grant, Macy’s, and Sears & Roebuck after the Civil War to help jump-start the economy and pay for the war. The Pilgrims banned Christmas. Christmas in Europe was a drunken eat-till-you-puke orgy.”

Dec 26: “You’re better off trying to kick dope or booze at home than going to a Narconon. It would be safer and a hell of a lot cheaper. For 100 bucks you could get some benzos, Imodium, and prilosec and you’d be better off and safer than going to a Narconon cold turkey death camp.”

Dec 27: “When I first read about ‘TR-Alice’ I was stunned because to me it was so obviously Hubbard laughing at his marks and laying out a huge clue that he was scamming them.”

Dec 28: “I’m guessing Dan Sherman has a ‘Word of the Day’ thing he sends out on the telex doohickey.”

Dec 29: “To my mind all religion is organized superstition and magical thinking that was created to explain the unexplainable and to get people to behave. Also, financial reward and social power for the creators has sometimes played a significant role. Some of it was made up thousands of years ago, some of it was made up much more recently. If you can get people to believe it’s a religion…it’s a religion.”

Dec 30: “When I hear Blubbard speak I can totally hear him trying to copy those old time comedians and storytellers like Will Rogers.”

Dec 31: “Well Sherbert, it doesn’t look like this tired ole punk is going to make it to midnight, so a ‘HAPPY NEW YEAR’ to you and the the rest of the Degenerates and a ‘Big, Big Love’.”

Jan 1: “In the 1980s Scientology had 100,000+ members. Today, it has 20,000 or less, plus the more competent members have left. In the 70s & 80s there was Operation Snow White, Operations Daniel and Dynamite (Paulette Cooper) etc. Today, It’s Squirrel Busters, Freedumb Magazine and smear sites no one sees. We have THEM running scared. OSA is a joke.”

Jan 2: “Alex Jones and L. Ron both became millionaires by selling people crazy. The $64,000 question is whether it was (A) a cynical scam (B) they’re both insane (C) all of the above.”

Jan 3: “There seems to be a reluctance even among some exes to understand that all the E-meter is physically capable of doing is measuring galvanic skin response. It is incapable of reading one’s emotional state.”

Jan 4: “The only thing I want from Disqus is to bring back the downvote, make the AV image bigger and make the YouTube video image much smaller.”

Jan 5: “Well, Hubbard did say that the thetans created the MEST universe so that they would have a place to play, but that eventually they forgot they had done so. The idea that Hubbard saw this whole thing as a game has always seemed pretty obvious to me.”

Jan 6: “Scientologists have had a King Arthur fetish going back to day one. LRH moving to England buying a ‘castle,’ very expected and cliched to say the least. Knights of the Three Card Monte Table, here to save the world.”

Jan 7: “Phew, I’m just getting back after sitting in the alley for 2 hours with the cats after some asshole in the building tried to set some other guy’s door on fire. The firemen said we were very lucky the ornament that the asshole tried to start the fire with went out otherwise we would have all been toast. Isn’t life grand?”

Jan 8: “It really doesn’t matter if the people still in the Church of Scientology are happy or not because the organization itself is a criminal conspiracy that needs to be brought down. Are we suppose to go easy on organized crime because its members might be, generally speaking, having a good time?”

Jan 9: “I’ve never ever really been worried about a Scientology Jonestown. There’s no apocalyptic scripture and it’s too much about the money, and the participants are way too yuppie white bread for something like that.”

Jan 10: “Miscavige isn’t that old and he’s got plenty of money, real estate, and willing slaves to play with. I saw an interview with Pol Pot shortly before he died and it boiled down to him saying he wished he could do some things over but he did what he thought was best for the people of Cambodia. Miscavige is either a non-believer who thinks ‘suckers get what they deserve and if it wasn’t me somebody else would be fleecing these idiots’ or he’s a believer and thinks ‘Yes, I’ve been a strongman, but that’s what was necessary to insure the survival of this organization.’ Caesar or charlatan?”

Jan 11: “If Scientology could, then based solely on the words of L Ron Hubbard they would be gladly killing ‘infidels’ who refused to convert.”

Jan 12: “Burroughs thought that psychedelics could help him break his junk addiction, but he also thought the same thing about Scientology.”

Jan 13: “I’m still waiting for someone to do the obvious KFC shoop with the KSW and L Ron as the Colonel. Preferably on a bucket.”

Jan 14: “The tech is the meaningless musings of a drug- and alcohol-addled madman who was making it up as he went along. You might as well have been playing hide-and-go-seek for 17 years.”

Jan 15: “You don’t have to go up the Bridge to achieve a position of power in Scientology. All you have to do is be a wily, conniving, ruthless asshole. Just like every other totalitarian organization in history.”

Jan 16: “Steve Allen and Johnny Carson hated Scientology.”

Jan 17: “From what I’ve seen and read, status is very competitive and important in public Scientology. Except, instead of cars and homes and jewelry it’s Monty Python Roman titles, bowling trophies and dime store certificates.”

Jan 18: “I’ve already exteriorized three times today…without coffee!”

Jan 19: “OT 7 is just sitting in a room talking to yourself and seeing if the needle reacts. You’d think after a couple of years of doing that they would just say ‘fuck it!’ and tell the case supervisor ‘The belfry is bat-free’.”

Jan 20: “Clear Cognition: You mocked up your reactive mind. OT8 Cognition: You mocked up the Space Opera, your past lives and your BT infestation. The trigger for the OT8 cognition is the line ‘the Pilot says: I’m mocking this up.’ The desired End Phenomena is ‘Now that I know what I am not, I am ready to find out what I am’.”

Jan 21: “You’re nothing around here unless you’ve been corrected or admonished by The Proprietor at least once.”

Jan 22: “Scientology doesn’t have to murder people. It just drives them crazy and they end up murdering others or they kill themselves. Scientology may have murdered someone in the past, but there’s no conclusive proof — and critics talking like it’s a fact just makes them look kinda obsessed and a little bit nuts to outsiders.”

Jan 23: “Typical Space Ozzie & Harriet ‘Remember the good ole days before all the perversion and permissiveness that lead to the downward spiral?’ reactionary bullshit. Except for the Space Opera, Scientologists have the same mindset as your average teabagger, fundie christian, conspiracy nut, gun lovin’ closet Nazi wingnut. I suggest we round them all up and send them to the FEMA camp called Branson MO.”

Jan 24: “If you believe that the Church of Scientology is a criminal organization, that makes David Miscavige the most successful crime boss in the world.”

Jan 25: “People say to me, ‘So, have you met a Scientologist?’ And I laugh and think to myself, ‘What a beautiful thing,’ because maybe one day it will be like that, you know? You know what I’m saying. Maybe one day it will be that ‘Wow, Scientologists, they just read about those in the history books.’ You know?”

Jan 26: “Miscavige is downsizing the corporation, cutting his overhead to the barest minimum and consolidating his forces in his last two strongholds, L.A and Clearwater. It makes sense. In Pyongyang most of the office buildings and hotels are empty except for a skeleton staff to make it look good for the occasional tourist or journalist they let in. They’re also there to turn the faucets on occasionally and keep the boiler running. It makes the Generals and the Kims happy, and that’s all that really matters.”

Jan 27: “Ever read any of the crap the conspiracy cult followers believe in? And they number in the millions, not tens of thousands. Remember in The Mist where the people trapped in the supermarket immediately start their own cult ? That’s how most people think.”

Jan 28: “Sometimes people in official positions ask me if I have any living relatives and I’m yeah, but…then I feel sad.”

Jan 29: “Does anyone else here understand how hard it is to explain to a complete stranger that your relative is a Scientologist?”

Jan 30: “If any kid ever needed a hickory switch it was L Ron Hubbard.”

Jan 31: “My father didn’t even want to go to Korea. He considered himself a socialist and he had already served in WWII and he had this incredibly cush job as Chief Steward on a luxury liner The Lorlene that sailed from S.F to Hawaii, so when he got his draft notice he threw it in the trash. They came aboard the ship and arrested him, sent him to the stockade for a few months and asked him if he wanted to stay there for the next 10 years or go to Korea. He went to Korea, became a tank sergeant and won a Silver Star, Bronze Star and Purple Heart…and he killed a Chinese soldier with his bayonet. That’s the thing he really brought home.”

Feb 1: “I still keep coming back to the fact that the mind control/brainwashing/undue influence only worked on a very small percentage of those exposed to it. I think that the focus should be on what the 5 percent (or thereabouts) of the exposed population who joined groups like Scientology, the NSDAP or the Khmer Rouge have in common.”

Feb 2: “As a 49ers/Patriots fan with 8 Super Bowl wins between them, I feel Jimmy’s pain.”

Feb 3: “Scientology/Dianetics was originally intended to END with going Clear. And then LRH realized the short con of that was going to run dry, so he came up with the LONG CON of the OT levels. It’s that simple.”

Feb 5: “The one thing that LRH and D.M. have elevated to a fine art is cheapness. I heard stories about J. Paul Getty when I was a kid and he had nothing on these guys.”

Feb 6: “If I knew I was going to live this long, I would have tried even harder to destroy myself.”

Feb 7: “The 49ers sucked so bad I was forced to turn to punk rock and hard drugs for entertainment. It’s all John Brodie and Scientology’s fault.”

Feb 8: “Stan Lee, Forrest J Ackerman and Hugh Hefner are the Holy Trinity of my adolescence.”

Feb 9: “The difference is real religions admit their beliefs are based on faith, whereas Scientology claims nothing in it is based on belief or faith, but is based on 100 percent proven scientific fact.”

Feb 10: “This idea that we’re going to gently coax these people out of the cult is rubbish. Let’s say there are 15,000 to 30,000 left in the world, do you realize how long this method would take? Your average ‘good’ Scientologist isn’t interested in having a conversation with any wog any more than your average ISIS, Taliban, Al-Qaeda member is interested in having a conversation with an Infidel. A fanatic is a fanatic.”

Feb 11: “I think Tony is taking the day off and that’s just fine by me. Watch some football or somethin’ everybody.”

Feb 12: “If only we could take a ride in Mr. Peabody’s Wayback Machine to pre-1970 and that magical time before the 100 percent scientifically correct TECH turned into incomprehensible DRECK. The gods are cruel.”

Feb 13: “Scientology was touted as the religion for the space age, but stylistically it’s firmly stuck in the time period of, let’s say, 1950 to the 1980s. In its own way Scientology and its members come across as being every bit as tragically unhip as their Fundamentalist Christian counterparts. Squares from Space.”

Feb 14: “The idiots show up like clockwork on a Thursday, leave a couple of barely comprehensible comments and scurry away, and they’ve done their job for the week! I think Miscavige is overpaying them.”

Feb 15: “Jenna Elfman is jihadi-level crazy. She wouldn’t hesitate to go on a martyr mission if D.M. ordered her to.”

Feb 16: “It’s just like the mob, if you’re a money maker, you’re golden. You can molest the kids, murder your mistress etc but as long as you’re UPSTAT you’re a HERO. This statement by Hubbard is all the proof that the indies or anyone else should ever need to convince them that it was never about anything else except the money.”

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