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Scientology has its whales, but here are the leviathans of the Underground Bunker!

[Ready for your trophy?]

Scientologists can not only become “patrons” and “laureates” and “meritorious” based on how much money they give to the IAS (Scientology’s main slush fund), they can also become “ambassadors” and “luminaries” if they help pay for book dissemination campaigns.

There are so many ways Scientologists can get fancy trophies and certificates and swag! Why should they have all the fun?

We decided it was about time we started awarding statuses to our amazing commenters, who have been in the trenches with us in this absurd pursuit for many years now.

In this case, the coin of the realm is upvotes, a rough guide to how useful or funny or poignant a comment is. And some of our readers have amassed some pretty huge piles of them. As an incentive for their participation, we’re rewarding our whales with some awfully fun status levels.

Here’s the deal: We did our best to tease out your upvote numbers from the Disqus backend, a process fraught with inconsistency. So please, if you don’t see yourself on the list, let us know so we can add you.


And for heaven’s sake, when you reach a new level of awesomeness, tell us so we can recognize you for it. It’s time your hard work paid off here in the Bunker, and heck, if you come to HowdyCon, we’ll hand out some certs or something. Just don’t expect giant trophies handed out by a coiffed little guy in a tux.


[500,000+ Upvotes: Blue Whale Kha-Khan]


[400,000-499,999 Upvotes: Fin Whale Invictus]


[300,000-399,999 Upvotes: Sperm Whale Maximus]



[200,000-299,999 Upvotes: Right Whale Excalibur]

Andrea ‘i-Betty’ Garner


[150,000-199,999 Upvotes: Bowhead Whale Laureate]

dagobarbz, Missionary Kid, NOLAGirl(Stephanie), Panopea Abrupta, Phoebequeen, RMycroft, Robert Eckert, Sherbet, Snake Plissken


[125,000-149,999 Upvotes: Humpback Whale Meritorious]

Baby, chukicita, flyonthewall, Jimmy3, Juicer77, Once_Born, Phil Jones


[100,000-124,999 Upvotes: Gray Whale Luminary]

DodoTheLaser, Douglas D. Douglas, Mark Parry-Maddocks, nottrue, Rasha, ze moo


[75,000-99,999 Upvotes: Bryde’s Whale Ambassador]

Aron, Draco, Graham, John P., PickAnotherID


[50,000-74,999 Upvotes: Minke Whale Vanguard]

aquaclara, Artoo45, BosonStark, Captain Howdy, Derek, Eclipse-girl, Eivol Ekdal, Ella Raitch, Frodis73, Intergalactic Walrus, J. Swift, Johnny Tank (Forever Autumn), Kestrel, Kim O’Brien, madame duran, MaxSpaceman, Michael Leonard Tilse, Mockingbird, OTVIIIisGrrr8!, salin, Science Doc, Shorpy, Suzanna Nielsen, Vaquera


[40,000-49,999 Upvotes: Beaked Whale Benefactor]

aegerprimo, Chee Chalker, chuckbeattyx75to03, daisy, Liberated, LongtimeLurker, Mighty Korgo of Teegeeack, Newiga, One Human, Stan, worstcultever


[30,000-39,999 Upvotes: Bottlenose Whale Guardian]

5 Feet Long and Luminous, Anonymous, beauty for ashes, FredEX2, Free Minds Free Hearts, gtsix, Harpoona Frittata, kemist, L. Wrong Hubturd, LHS (Nasty Woman), MarcabExpat, M.C. Mayo – EmmaDaoust, MickeyTheMouse, Mighty Korgo of Teegeeack, OOkpik, pluvo, Puget Buckeye, Qbird, Sejanus, sugarplumfairy, Sunny, Techie, TexasBroad


[25,000 – 29,999 Upvotes: Orca New Civilization Builder]

Ben Franklin, ConcepcionImmaculadaPantalones, davegrille, Jack99, jazzlover, Jeb Burton, Jens TINGLEFF, Lousy Ratatouille, read my avi, stillgrace2, tigger, Todd Tomorrow, Tory Christman


[20,000 – 24,999 Upvotes: Beluga Whale Crusader]

Andrew Robertson, Bob, Chris Shelton (Galactic Patrol), Dee Findlay-DeElizabethan, HillieOnTheBeach, iampissed, Independent Scientology News, Jerseygram, John Prince, Karen de la Carriere, M from Toronto, mook, Richard, Richard Grant, richelieu jr, Scream Nevermore, Skip Press, Still_On_Your_Side, Succ├╝lentDuck, Sunny Sands, Tone, Vistaril


[15,000-19,999 Upvotes: Narwhal Humanitarian]

0tessa, 3feetback-of-COS, April, Ardent, balletlady, CK, edge, Gerard Plourde, Gflded Kim, Glen, Hamtaro, Jgg2012, joan nieman, Just Hummin’ Along, LeeAnneClark, Lucille Austero, Marc Headley, Mark Foster, Mat Pesch, mirele, monkey, Mooser, Mrs. B (noseinabk), MrsLurksALot, Narapoid, Noesis. outraged, Pete Griffiths, Phil McKraken, Pierrot, ReallyMGM, Riga G, SarahDB, sizzle8, SLIM, Stacy, TrevAnon, villagedianne, What’sup, WOG with Attitude


[10,000-14,999 Upvotes: Whale Shark With Honors]

Ann B Watson, Bagpuss is my co-pilot!, Betsy, BigMcLargeHuge, Bob Crouch, Cars, Cat Daddy, Cheap & Nothing Wasted, Chocolate Velvet, Dawn G., Dr_Orpheus, dungeon master, EmmyD6, FistOfXenu, Fred G. Haseney, JaxNGold, Jefferson Hawkins, Jenyfurrrrr, KJP is in Portland, Lina Sithlady, Lliira, madge filpot, Mick Roberts, MostEthicalPimp, Mrs. V., OrangySky, PerpetualOutflow, Peter, PoisonIvyHerself, RexAinsfree, richelieu jr, Robert Hammond, Sarah James, shasha40, Shivani33, Sibs, Sidney18511, Silence of the Clams, Snippy_X, Spackle Motion, stanrogers, The Hot Tub of Sadly No!, ThetaBara, Tracy Schmitz, Wayne Borean


[7,500-9,999 Upvotes: Great White Shark Super Power]

10oriocookies, aurora50, Bavarian Rage, Bella Legosi, Beth, BraveBloggers, Calligraph, downtherabbithole, Fine Young Animal, FromPolandWithLove, George Layton, HTC, Illinoisian, Jo, Jon Hendry, Just Dee, Len Zinberg, Lurkness, Mary, Mary_McConnell, mockingbird, mon elle, N. Graham, PreferToBeAnon2, pronoia, ScientologyDoesNotExist, SciWatcher, scnethics, Sh00pZ, Shanester, SnackTheoryConfidential, Suppressive Tomato, Synthia Fagen, Taffy Sinclair, TheDude, Trashton Porter, V900, Walter Mitty, Zeruel (Sebastian)


[6,000-7,499 Upvotes: Manta Ray Disseminator]

9001, Allie, Asillem4, Aslan’s Own, Barbara Angel, Bradley Greenwood, BTs2Free, BumpIt McCarthy, bixntram, Cosmo Pidgeon, Cosmoneydoc, ExCult.Jan, grundoon, Heidi, jimpjorps, JJ, JustCallMeMary, Lori Hodgson, Moonshot, mOstSpecialAgent Joe McClaine, Ms. B. Haven, PeterBlood, Racnad, SandiCorrena, scottmercer, shellybrittcorrias, Shut Up Oracle, Sir Hemet TC Burlwood, VIII, Sookie Sookie, t1kk, tetloj, TheMirrorThetan, thetastic, TX Lawyer, Victoria Pandora, Zana


[5,000-5,999 Upvotes: Sunfish Insouciance]

A bird in the chimney, And I’m Cute Too, anonsparrow, anony bird, burythenuts, Captain MustSavage, Chuck Beatty, Commodore H. McCringleberry, Davka, DoveAlexa, El Con Blubbard, Fuzzy, Great White Clam, IASREG, Ivan Mapother, Joe Howard, mark, MissCandle, otviii2late, Patty Moher, Princess Squishy, Rick Alan Ross, rom661, romanesco, Room 101, Sergeant Pepper, seriouslyWTF, skiesareblue, Spike Robinson, StudentOflife, Susan black, Sydjazz, WildaBeast


4,000-4,999 Upvotes: Sturgeon Affluence

Alice Graves, AnyOldName1, Bleuler, California, CofS Exit Zone, Couch_Incident, Dave Reams, dchoiceisalwaysrs, DexterSka, Dolly Jones, Drat, Edward Whalley, Exterrier, generic sock, Geoff Levin, Interested, InterestedObserver12, KingofSweden, Little Brother Joey(3-7-77), ombrifuge, Pedro, PRenaud, Sandy, Scientology_411, Simon Tology, Snuzey, SP’Onage, stateofcircle, stellamaris73, Suzy, Unex Skcus, Valerie Ross, valshifter, VickiStubing, WhereIsSHE


[3,500-3,999 Upvotes: Marlin Straightwire]

Always Amazed, arcinva, baddog5623, Bernie Headley, Bert Allen, daytoncapri, Donna Cline Sargent, Doug Parent, Elegant Mess, endoftheQ, Fink Jonas, InTheNameOfXenu, jeff, jmh, Kevin Tighe, KNMF, Kristen, Lady Squash, Linda Clement, Mike Rinder, Sarcasmo, Semper Phi, Spacer, Stephanie Loving, UhLasare, Verve, Xenu is my Homeboy, Xique


[3,000-3,499 Upvotes: Barracuda Beingness]

Ammo Alamo, Chewkacca, deanblair, David E Love, Dibythesea, DMSTCC, DrGreatCham, Ever met an SP?, FollowTheMoney, Franklin Adams, Helen Van Patterson Patton, Interested2, InterestedinCrazy, itsIBBy, Jenny Griffith, Jon S, Kristin G, Larry, Mareka Backus, Meepthorp, Minion Gayle, MM, Noni Mause, Nothing to see here, Orglodyte, Paul V. Tupointeau, Paulette Cooper Noble, Pierohi, saksin, Sir_Real, smorbie, Troy MacGyver SP, Vault Digger, whingeybingey, woodrose


[2,500-2,999 Upvotes: Perch Patron]

Anonymous Confused Person, Are_sics, BareFacedMessiah, BeezleBobby, Casabeca, Charles Murdoch, Charlotte, CoolHand, Cupcakes for Breakfast, Dancing Cranberry, disco george, Elendira, Flying High, George M. White, Hana Eltringham Whitfield, HolyCash, Imelda Marcos, ithilien, Jen Hanson Gruber, Jonathan Cummings, Jonny Jacobsen, K2P2(KnitNut), Kitz, Kristin Rawls, Mark Foster, May_West, Midwest Mom, Miss Cabbage, Mymy88, philosofa, pixie dust, PJK, Ruby, scamofscientology, SignsOfSuccess, Skabetti, Susan B., trow125, USA MRIID, Willie Jones, Xenu’s son.


[2,000-2,499 Upvotes: Minnow Champion]

Alexander_Supertramp, AmoVolare, AutOmatic, BabySmurfette, Beverly, cymboli, Dean Fox, dwayners13, Elen, ElleGee, FOTF2012, Fly Lady, HeatherGraceful, jane456, Jen, Jenstnick, Jesse Prince, Jon Atack, Joy Lover (Ex-CS), Justmeteehee, JustSheila, Kay, LongNeckGoose, Marie Claire Wolf, MarionDee, Mark Bunker, mikecrosby, moonfire, NaplesFLA, NeverIn, ParticleMom, Peggy oh!, Robert Hanna Moore, Robin Descamp, Roger Y, Royce Harlow, Saint, Scott H, Stephenie Loving, TheLurkingHorror, Username, UTR, vistaril_LOL, Wog


3D-UnbreakablePosted by Tony Ortega on October 5, 2018 at 07:00

E-mail tips and story ideas to tonyo94 AT gmail DOT com or follow us on Twitter. We post behind-the-scenes updates at our Facebook author page. After every new story we send out an alert to our e-mail list and our FB page.

Our book, The Unbreakable Miss Lovely: How the Church of Scientology tried to destroy Paulette Cooper, is on sale at Amazon in paperback, Kindle, and audiobook versions. We’ve posted photographs of Paulette and scenes from her life at a separate location. Reader Sookie put together a complete index. More information can also be found at the book’s dedicated page.

The Best of the Underground Bunker, 1995-2017 Just starting out here? We’ve picked out the most important stories we’ve covered here at the Undergound Bunker (2012-2017), The Village Voice (2008-2012), New Times Los Angeles (1999-2002) and the Phoenix New Times (1995-1999)

Learn about Scientology with our numerous series with experts…

BLOGGING DIANETICS: We read Scientology’s founding text cover to cover with the help of L.A. attorney and former church member Vance Woodward
UP THE BRIDGE: Claire Headley and Bruce Hines train us as Scientologists
GETTING OUR ETHICS IN: Jefferson Hawkins explains Scientology’s system of justice
SCIENTOLOGY MYTHBUSTING: Historian Jon Atack discusses key Scientology concepts

Other links: Shelly Miscavige, ten years gone | The Lisa McPherson story told in real time | The Cathriona White stories | The Leah Remini ‘Knowledge Reports’ | Hear audio of a Scientology excommunication | Scientology’s little day care of horrors | Whatever happened to Steve Fishman? | Felony charges for Scientology’s drug rehab scam | Why Scientology digs bomb-proof vaults in the desert | PZ Myers reads L. Ron Hubbard’s “A History of Man” | Scientology’s Master Spies | The mystery of the richest Scientologist and his wayward sons | Scientology’s shocking mistreatment of the mentally ill | The Underground Bunker’s Official Theme Song | The Underground Bunker FAQ

Our non-Scientology stories: Robert Burnham Jr., the man who inscribed the universe | Notorious alt-right inspiration Kevin MacDonald and his theories about Jewish DNA | The selling of the “Phoenix Lights” | Astronomer Harlow Shapley‘s FBI file | Sex, spies, and local TV news


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