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Why Scientology founder L. Ron Hubbard isn’t coming back to Earth

[Ron had his eyes on Target Two]

 
TODAY AT SUBSTACK: If you’ve signed up for free emails at Substack, you will receive today’s feature story at your inbox: A question from a reader sent us on a wild goose chase into Scientology’s dim past in search of something L. Ron Hubbard supposedly said about his future in this galaxy. Finally, we retrieved it, and we know you’re going to want to see it! [What is this Substack thing, anyway?]

 
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Technology Cocktail

“The ‘proofs’ of supposing Scientology is a healing activity are abundant enough if one sees the recovery lists in any org. But they were not processed to heal them, only to free them. A recent example of this occurred when a preclear broke her ankle and was given medical treatment. Naturally the org was anxious to get on with her program of processing and the ankle injury was in the way. After weeks in medical hands with the ankle getting worse, the engram of the injury was run out, the ankle got well and the person was again being routinely processed a few days later. The auditor could be said to have been engaged in healing. All he was doing was getting a body difficulty out of his road so he could get on with it.” — L. Ron Hubbard, 1972

 
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THE PROSECUTION OF DANNY MASTERSON

We first broke the news of the LAPD’s investigation of Scientology celebrity Danny Masterson on rape allegations in 2017, and we’ve been covering the story every step of the way since then. At this page we’ve collected our most important links as Danny faces a potential sentence of 45 years to life in prison. NOW WITH TRIAL INDEX.

 
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THE PODCAST: How many have you heard?

[1] Marc Headley [2] Claire Headley [3] Jeffrey Augustine [4] Bruce Hines [5] Sunny Pereira [6] Pete Griffiths [7] Geoff Levin [8] Patty Moher [9] Marc Headley [10] Jefferson Hawkins [11] Michelle ‘Emma’ Ryan [12] Paulette Cooper [13] Jesse Prince [14] Mark Bunker [15] Jon Atack [16] Mirriam Francis [17] Bruce Hines on MSH

— SPECIAL: The best TV show on Scientology you never got to see

[1] Phil Jones [2] Derek Bloch [3] Carol Nyburg [4] Katrina Reyes [5] Jamie DeWolf

— The first Danny Masterson trial and beyond

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[18] Trial special with Chris Shelton [19] Trial week one [20] Marc Headley on the spy in the hallway [21] Trial week two [22] Trial week three [23] Trial week four [24] Leah Remini on LAPD Corruption [25] Mike Rinder 2022 Thanksgiving Special [26] Jane Doe 4 (Tricia Vessey), Part One [27] Jane Doe 4 (Tricia Vessey), Part Two [28] Claire Headley on the trial [29] Tory Christman [30] Bruce Hines on spying [31] Karen de la Carriere [32] Ron Miscavige on Shelly Miscavige [33] Karen de la Carriere on the L’s [34] Mark Bunker on Miscavige hiding [35] Mark Plummer [36] Mark Ebner [37] Karen Pressley [38] Steve Cannane [39] Fredrick Brennan [40] Clarissa Adams [41] Louise Shekter [42] John Sweeney [43] Tory Christman [44] Kate Bornstein [45] Christian Stolte [46] Mark Bunker [47] Jon Atack [48] Luke Y. Thompson [49] Mark Ebner [50] Bruce Hines [51] Spanky Taylor and Karen Pressley [51] Geoff and Robbie Levin [52] Sands Hall [53] Jonny Jacobsen [54] Sandy Holeman [55] Mark Bunker [56] Trish and Liz Conley [57] Trish Conley [58] Alex Barnes-Ross [59] Alex Barnes-Ross [60] Alex Barnes-Ross [61] Alex Barnes-Ross [62] Alex Barnes-Ross [63] Alex Barnes-Ross [64] Tory Christman [65] Tammy Synovec [66] Dennis Erlich [67] Alex Barnes-Ross [68] Valerie Ross [69] Kat in Austin [70] Mark Bunker [71] Phil Jones

 
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Source Code

“By the way, professional football is nowhere near as successful as college football; that is to say, people go to see college games. Well, actually I won’t go see a college game because I know most of those players are on the payroll. I was, by the way, the first boy in America to bust that story to the print, to the newspapers: professional paid football players on college teams. I didn’t get expelled for it, my fellow editor got expelled. But he didn’t really get expelled, he just simply got disgusted. And he is now one of the top sports editors of America. But the two of us found that college, the college — our own college — was paying considerable salary under the name of scholarships and bonuses and things like that, to good football players in order to make a good football team. And they were getting in more money at the stadium for every game than they were getting in through the tuition window. And this was an interesting story, we thought. So we broke it in the college paper and broke it over the Scripps-Howard newschain, which I was associate editor of the paper and my pal was also a sports reporter, as well as a student, on the paper.” — L. Ron Hubbard, December 17, 1954

 
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Avast, Ye Mateys

“B. BEREZ: Goodbye Mr. Berez. You who used ethics most wrongly were found with a huge tin of marijuana to be the most out-ethics person aboard. B. Berez, you were the longest aboard in all the out ethics days of the old RSM. We can blow some charge on that. So goodbye Mr. Berez. I trust you will soon go up in smoke.” — The Commodore, December 17, 1968

 
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Overheard in the FreeZone

“A thought occurred to me a long time ago while in session after reading the Factors and the Axioms of Scientology. And ever since that moment I have never felt at all ‘insignificant’ while contemplating the vastness of the physical universe. And that thought is: We are not actually ‘in’ the physical universe (unless we pretend to be so). We created it, the whole thing, from scratch. If anything, the physical universe is within US! A corollary to this idea was that one needn’t change location in the physical universe in order to visit or be in comm with another thetan. Just open a theta window and say ‘Hi’.”

 

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Past is Prologue

1996: PA News reported that a member of the British House of Lords has announced he is a Scientologist. “A Liberal Democrat peer today disclosed he is a member of the Church of Scientology, as a Home Office minister warned of the ‘potential dangers’ of becoming involved in such organisations. In Lords question time exchanges on the operations of the organisation, Lord McNair, 49, declared: ‘I have to tell the House that I have an interest — and that interest is that I am a member of the Church of Scientology.’ Tory Baroness Sharples earlier told the House: ‘Those who have left the cult, a number of them, have been both threatened and harassed and a considerable number of them have been made bankrupt by the church.’ Home Office Minister of State Baroness Blatch said: ‘People should be warned of the potential dangers of becoming involved in organisations of this kind.'”

 
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Random Howdy

“After Waco the political will to do anything about cults vanished. The main reason they finally did something about Warren Jeffs and the FLDS was because it was a pedo factory. America is a very religious country and it’s also a celebrity-obsessed country. When you have names like Cruise and Travolta running interference for you, you can run a long way.”

 
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Full Court Press: What we’re watching at the Underground Bunker

Criminal prosecutions:
Danny Masterson charged for raping three women: Found guilty on two counts on May 31, remanded to custody. Sentenced to 30 years to life on Sep 7, 2023. Appeal brief due by December 23.
‘Lafayette Ronald Hubbard’ (a/k/a Justin Craig), aggravated assault, plus drug charges: Grand jury indictments include charges from an assault while in custody. Next pretrial hearing January 13, 2025.
David Gentile, GPB Capital, convicted of fraud, awaiting sentencing.

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Civil litigation:
Leah Remini v. Scientology, alleging ‘Fair Game’ harassment and defamation: Some defamation claims were removed by Judge Hammock. Judge Hammock’s ruling is on appeal.
Baxter, Baxter, and Paris v. Scientology, alleging labor trafficking: Forced to arbitration.
Valerie Haney v. Scientology: Forced to ‘religious arbitration.’
Chrissie Bixler et al. v. Scientology and Danny Masterson. Judge Upindra Kalra’s ruling denying Scientology’s motion to strike is on appeal.
Jane Doe 1 v. Scientology, David Miscavige, and Gavin Potter: Case unsealed and second amended complaint filed. Scientology moves for religious arbitration, gets ruling to depose Jane Doe 1.

 
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SCIENTOLOGY: FAIR GAME

After the success of their double-Emmy-winning, three-season A&E series ‘Scientology and the Aftermath,’ Leah Remini and Mike Rinder continue the conversation on their podcast, ‘Scientology: Fair Game.’ We’ve created a landing page where you can hear all of the episodes so far.

LEAH REMINI: SCIENTOLOGY AND THE AFTERMATH

An episode-by-episode guide to Leah Remini’s three-season, double-Emmy winning series that changed everything for Scientology watching. Originally aired from 2016 to 2019 on the A&E network, and now on Netflix.

SCIENTOLOGY’S CELEBRITIES, from A to Z

Find your favorite Hubbardite celeb at this index page — or suggest someone to add to the list!

 
Other links: SCIENTOLOGY BLACK OPS: Tom Cruise and dirty tricks. Scientology’s Ideal Orgs, from one end of the planet to the other. Scientology’s sneaky front groups, spreading the good news about L. Ron Hubbard while pretending to benefit society. Scientology Lit: Books reviewed or excerpted in a weekly series. How many have you read?

 
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THE WHOLE TRACK

[ONE year ago] Life in Scientology: Saving the planet and lining your pockets at the same time!
[TWO years ago] Florida Bar past president hired to stop court from serving lawsuit on David Miscavige
[THREE years ago] Growing up in Scientology’s Sea Org, and encountering David Miscavige: A look back
[FOUR years ago] Scientology hopes to benefit from Michael Jackson estate’s arbitration win against HBO
[FIVE years ago] The Scientology spy who wants desperately to come in from the cold
[SIX years ago] Finally, Scientology spells out its crazy ideas in a video you weren’t supposed to see
[SEVEN years ago] Mexico officially recognizes Scientology as a religion, Miscavige claims at New Year’s event
[EIGHT years ago] Scientology is totally reading your comments here — and you’re scaring them senseless
[NINE years ago] FELONY RAPS FOR SCIENTOLOGISTS RUNNING L.A. REHAB SCAM WITH CORRUPT EDUCATORS
[TEN years ago] Scientology’s Clark Carr: Those letters after my name were no good and I didn’t know it
[ELEVEN years ago] At OT 3, you learn you have space cooties — how do you get rid of them? Scientology exorcism!

 
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Scientology disconnection, a reminder

Bernie Headley (1952-2019) did not see his daughter Stephanie in his final 5,667 days.
Joe Reaiche (1958-2024) did not see his daughter Alanna Masterson in his final 6,999 days.

Tammy Synovec has not seen her daughter Julia in 3,116 days.
Valerie Haney has not seen her mother Lynne in 3,611 days.
Katrina Reyes has not seen her mother Yelena in 4,126 days
Sylvia Wagner DeWall has not seen her brother Randy in 3,676 days.
Brian Sheen has not seen his grandson Leo in 2,666 days.
Klaus Büchele has not seen his daughter Jasmin in 5,052 days.
Geoff Levin has not seen his son Collin and daughter Savannah in 2,547 days.
Christie Collbran has not seen her mother Liz King in 5,851 days.
Clarissa Adams has not seen her parents Walter and Irmin Huber in 3,722 days.
Jamie Sorrentini Lugli has not seen her father Irving in 5,274 days.
Quailynn McDaniel has not seen her brother Sean in 4,615 days.
Dylan Gill has not seen his father Russell in 13,182 days.
Melissa Paris has not seen her father Jean-Francois in 9,101 days.
Valeska Paris has not seen her brother Raphael in 5,269 days.
Mirriam Francis has not seen her brother Ben in 4,851 days.
Claudio and Renata Lugli have not seen their son Flavio in 5,111 days.
Sara Goldberg has not seen her daughter Ashley in 4,147 days.
Lori Hodgson has not seen her son Jeremy and daughter Jessica in 3,863 days.
Marie Bilheimer has not seen her mother June in 3,427 days.
Julian Wain has not seen his brother Joseph or mother Susan in 1,742 days.
Charley Updegrove has not seen his son Toby in 2,917 days.
Derek Bloch has not seen his father Darren in 4,599 days.
Cindy Plahuta has not seen her daughter Kara in 4,936 days.
Roger Weller has not seen his daughter Alyssa in 9,790 days.
Claire Headley has not seen her mother Gen in 4,905 days.
Ramana Dienes-Browning has not seen her mother Jancis in 3,267 days.
Mike Rinder has not seen his son Benjamin and daughter Taryn in 7,570 days.
Brian Sheen has not seen his daughter Spring in 3,676 days.
Skip Young has not seen his daughters Megan and Alexis in 4,074 days.
Mary Kahn has not seen her son Sammy in 3,950 days.
Lois Reisdorf has not seen her son Craig in 3,515 days.
Phil and Willie Jones have not seen their son Mike and daughter Emily in 4,026 days.
Mary Jane Barry has not seen her daughter Samantha in 4,282 days.
Kate Bornstein has not seen her daughter Jessica in 15,390 days.

 
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Posted by Tony Ortega on December 17, 2024 at 07:00

E-mail tips to tonyo94 AT gmail DOT com or follow us on Twitter. We also post updates at our Facebook author page. After every new story we send out an alert to our e-mail list and our FB page.

Our new book with Paulette Cooper, Battlefield Scientology: Exposing L. Ron Hubbard’s dangerous ‘religion’ is now on sale at Amazon in paperback and Kindle formats. Our book about Paulette, The Unbreakable Miss Lovely: How the Church of Scientology tried to destroy Paulette Cooper, is on sale at Amazon in paperback, Kindle, and audiobook versions. We’ve posted photographs of Paulette and scenes from her life at a separate location. Reader Sookie put together a complete index. More information can also be found at the book’s dedicated page.

The Best of the Underground Bunker, 1995-2023 Just starting out here? We’ve picked out the most important stories we’ve covered here at the Underground Bunker (2012-2023), The Village Voice (2008-2012), New Times Los Angeles (1999-2002) and the Phoenix New Times (1995-1999)

Other links: BLOGGING DIANETICS: Reading Scientology’s founding text cover to cover | UP THE BRIDGE: Claire Headley and Bruce Hines train us as Scientologists | GETTING OUR ETHICS IN: Jefferson Hawkins explains Scientology’s system of justice | SCIENTOLOGY MYTHBUSTING: Historian Jon Atack discusses key Scientology concepts | Shelly Miscavige, 15 years gone | The Lisa McPherson story told in real time | The Cathriona White stories | The Leah Remini ‘Knowledge Reports’ | Hear audio of a Scientology excommunication | Scientology’s little day care of horrors | Whatever happened to Steve Fishman? | Felony charges for Scientology’s drug rehab scam | Why Scientology digs bomb-proof vaults in the desert | PZ Myers reads L. Ron Hubbard’s “A History of Man” | Scientology’s Master Spies | The mystery of the richest Scientologist and his wayward sons | Scientology’s shocking mistreatment of the mentally ill | The Underground Bunker’s Official Theme Song | The Underground Bunker FAQ

Watch our short videos that explain Scientology’s controversies in three minutes or less…

Check your whale level at our dedicated page for status updates, or join us at the Underground Bunker’s Facebook discussion group for more frivolity.

Our non-Scientology stories: Robert Burnham Jr., the man who inscribed the universe | Notorious alt-right inspiration Kevin MacDonald and his theories about Jewish DNA | The selling of the “Phoenix Lights” | Astronomer Harlow Shapley‘s FBI file | Sex, spies, and local TV news | Battling Babe-Hounds: Ross Jeffries v. R. Don Steele

 

Tony Ortega at The Daily Beast

 

Tony Ortega at Rolling Stone

 

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