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Finally, Scientology spells out its crazy ideas in a video you weren’t supposed to see

On Thursday, we told you that an Underground Bunker reader in Greece revealed to us that an entire Michael Chan lecture had been uploaded by Scientology to YouTube. This was something we were very excited to get a look at, we explained, because Michael Chan is just about the only thing Scientology has in the way of a circuit “preacher,” and his appearances are top secret.

In Thursday’s story, we focused on something we didn’t expect to find in Chan’s two-hour lecture: His tantalizing description of a wealthy donor who has given millions to Scientology with only a minimum amount of involvement in Scientology or its courses. According to Chan’s clues, that mystery donor had worked for NFL owner Steve Tisch, and we’re still hoping to learn the man’s identity.

As fun as that tidbit was, however, it wasn’t the main reason we were looking forward to seeing a Chan lecture. And that’s why we have a second Fair Use video excerpt for you today.

As we said last time, Chan inhabits a pretty unique place in Scientology. He’s constantly traveling around the world whipping Scientologists into a fervor over, well, Scientology. He’s one of the few people who speaks out on L. Ron Hubbard’s arcane “tech” and the secrets of the upper levels.


You see, Scientology loves to play a game about its underlying ideas. Those of us who have taken the time to actually read L. Ron Hubbard’s books, or listen to his lectures, know for a fact just how outlandish his ideas were about the nature of the universe and our place in it. But the vast majority of the public is unacquainted with that material, and so the church does its best to pretend that Scientology sounds no more eccentric than a mildly unusual self-help group. Invisible “thetans” with no size or mass that exist as immortal beings? Trillion-year-old brainwashing attacks by “evil psychiatrists” from the planet Farsec? A 75 million-year-old genocidal attack that peopled the Earth with unseen entities inhabiting our bodies today? Counseling techniques to help you remember your trillion-year-old past and regain your status as a god?

Sure, it’s all in there in Hubbard’s writing and lectures. But Scientology does its best to pretend that those of us citing those ideas don’t know what we’re taking about. You’re never going to hear a Scientology spokeswoman or high-priced lawyer, or even church leader David Miscavige discuss this stuff, even behind closed doors. (In Miscavige’s case, not only is there the Hubbardian prohibition against ‘verbal data,’ but he seems to know that his tech credentials are suspect and so he never preaches the space opera gospel at the big annual events.)

And that’s why it’s so unusual, and satisfying, to get a video recording of someone like Michael Chan talking openly about Scientology’s absolutely nutty ideas that yes, are going to cost you hundreds of dollars an hour over several years to learn for yourself.

We’ve put together a short video of Chan talking about this stuff, sparing you the long segments when he was talking about what a child prodigy he was (in fact, he painted quite an L. Ron-like picture of himself), and boasting about his huge business success and riches. We get you right to the good stuff — your own history as a being in this universe, and how you ended up on this prison planet, as explained by an official Scientology representative speaking at an official Scientology program…


So, if you haven’t been along with us for the past several years as we discuss these ideas by L. Ron Hubbard, you might be having a hard time seeing the whole picture. Hubbard insisted that you are a “thetan,” an immortal, incorporeal soul-like being that has lived for trillions of years. And at one time, you lived happily in your own universe, with the ability to create anything you wanted simply by willing it so — including the ability, apparently, to sink 100-foot shots with a basketball unerringly.

But what fun is that, right? So you went searching for a “game,” and in the process you encountered other unsatisfied thetans who created this universe out of boredom. But then you were outsmarted and trapped by nefarious opponents, your memory of your godhood was wiped away through the use of “implants,” and you were condemned to spend trillions of years in a succession of meat-bodies. These days, you spend some 70 or 80 years in a weak human body before having your memory wiped clean each time on Venus or Mars, sentenced to the prison planet of Earth.

Only by becoming an Operating Thetan through the processing of Scientology can you break this cycle, keep your identity lifetime to lifetime, and eventually regain your godhood and, as Hubbard once said in a lecture, the ability to crush an entire planet between your thumb and forefinger.

This is the state that Scientologists are chasing, and that they will spend a million or two in this lifetime to achieve. Only a few — such as Nancy Cartrwright, who admitted to Bryan Seymour that she wanted to attain godhood — ever say it out loud. And now, we thank Michael Chan for also speaking the words while a camera was rolling.

If you prefer, here’s the same video without music…



Scientology’s celebrities, ‘Ideal Orgs,’ and more!

[Alanna Masterson, Terry Jastrow, and Marisol Nichols]

We’ve been building landing pages about David Miscavige’s favorite playthings, including celebrities and ‘Ideal Orgs,’ and we’re hoping you’ll join in and help us gather as much information as we can about them. Head on over and help us with links and photos and comments.

Scientology’s celebrities, from A to Z! Find your favorite Hubbardite celeb at this index page — or suggest someone to add to the list!

Scientology’s ‘Ideal Orgs,’ from one end of the planet to the other! Help us build up pages about each these worldwide locations!

Scientology’s sneaky front groups, spreading the good news about L. Ron Hubbard while pretending to benefit society!


Now on sale: Twice the Miss Lovely!

Our new book with Paulette Cooper, Battlefield Scientology: Exposing L. Ron Hubbard’s dangerous ‘religion’ is now on sale at Amazon in paperback and Kindle formats. What a pleasure it is for us to work with her on this after we wrote about her ordeal as a victim of Scientology’s “Fair Game” campaigns in our 2015 book, The Unbreakable Miss Lovely: How the Church of Scientology tried to destroy Paulette Cooper, which is also on sale in paperback, Kindle, and audiobook versions.



[ONE year ago] Mexico officially recognizes Scientology as a religion, Miscavige claims at New Year’s event
[TWO years ago] Scientology is totally reading your comments here — and you’re scaring them senseless
[FOUR years ago] Scientology’s Clark Carr: Those letters after my name were no good and I didn’t know it
[FIVE years ago] At OT 3, you learn you have space cooties — how do you get rid of them? Scientology exorcism!
[SIX years ago] Did Scientology Kill Joel Sappell’s Dog?


Scientology disconnection, a reminder

Bernie Headley has not seen his daughter Stephanie in 5,301 days.
Valerie Haney has not seen her mother Lynne in 1,432 days.
Katrina Reyes has not seen her mother Yelena in 1,934 days
Sylvia Wagner DeWall has not seen her brother Randy in 1,414 days.
Brian Sheen has not seen his grandson Leo in 477 days.
Geoff Levin has not seen his son Collin and daughter Savannah in 365 days.
Christie Collbran has not seen her mother Liz King in 3,672 days.
Clarissa Adams has not seen her parents Walter and Irmin Huber in 1,540 days.
Carol Nyburg has not seen her daughter Nancy in 2,314 days.
Jamie Sorrentini Lugli has not seen her father Irving in 3,088 days.
Quailynn McDaniel has not seen her brother Sean in 2,434 days.
Dylan Gill has not seen his father Russell in 11,000 days.
Melissa Paris has not seen her father Jean-Francois in 6,920 days.
Valeska Paris has not seen her brother Raphael in 3,087 days.
Mirriam Francis has not seen her brother Ben in 2,668 days.
Claudio and Renata Lugli have not seen their son Flavio in 2,928 days.
Sara Goldberg has not seen her daughter Ashley in 1,968 days.
Lori Hodgson has not seen her son Jeremy and daughter Jessica in 1,680 days.
Marie Bilheimer has not seen her mother June in 1,206 days.
Joe Reaiche has not seen his daughter Alanna Masterson in 5,295 days
Derek Bloch has not seen his father Darren in 2,435 days.
Cindy Plahuta has not seen her daughter Kara in 2,755 days.
Roger Weller has not seen his daughter Alyssa in 7,611 days.
Claire Headley has not seen her mother Gen in 2,730 days.
Ramana Dienes-Browning has not seen her mother Jancis in 1,086 days.
Mike Rinder has not seen his son Benjamin and daughter Taryn in 5,388 days.
Brian Sheen has not seen his daughter Spring in 1,494 days.
Skip Young has not seen his daughters Megan and Alexis in 1,897 days.
Mary Kahn has not seen her son Sammy in 1,768 days.
Lois Reisdorf has not seen her son Craig in 1,351 days.
Phil and Willie Jones have not seen their son Mike and daughter Emily in 1,846 days.
Mary Jane Sterne has not seen her daughter Samantha in 2,100 days.
Kate Bornstein has not seen her daughter Jessica in 13,209 days.


3D-UnbreakablePosted by Tony Ortega on December 17, 2018 at 07:00

E-mail tips and story ideas to tonyo94 AT gmail DOT com or follow us on Twitter. We post behind-the-scenes updates at our Facebook author page. After every new story we send out an alert to our e-mail list and our FB page.

Our book, The Unbreakable Miss Lovely: How the Church of Scientology tried to destroy Paulette Cooper, is on sale at Amazon in paperback, Kindle, and audiobook versions. We’ve posted photographs of Paulette and scenes from her life at a separate location. Reader Sookie put together a complete index. More information can also be found at the book’s dedicated page.

The Best of the Underground Bunker, 1995-2017 Just starting out here? We’ve picked out the most important stories we’ve covered here at the Underground Bunker (2012-2017), The Village Voice (2008-2012), New Times Los Angeles (1999-2002) and the Phoenix New Times (1995-1999)

Learn about Scientology with our numerous series with experts…

BLOGGING DIANETICS: We read Scientology’s founding text cover to cover with the help of L.A. attorney and former church member Vance Woodward
UP THE BRIDGE: Claire Headley and Bruce Hines train us as Scientologists
GETTING OUR ETHICS IN: Jefferson Hawkins explains Scientology’s system of justice
SCIENTOLOGY MYTHBUSTING: Historian Jon Atack discusses key Scientology concepts

Other links: Shelly Miscavige, ten years gone | The Lisa McPherson story told in real time | The Cathriona White stories | The Leah Remini ‘Knowledge Reports’ | Hear audio of a Scientology excommunication | Scientology’s little day care of horrors | Whatever happened to Steve Fishman? | Felony charges for Scientology’s drug rehab scam | Why Scientology digs bomb-proof vaults in the desert | PZ Myers reads L. Ron Hubbard’s “A History of Man” | Scientology’s Master Spies | The mystery of the richest Scientologist and his wayward sons | Scientology’s shocking mistreatment of the mentally ill | The Underground Bunker’s Official Theme Song | The Underground Bunker FAQ

Watch our short videos that explain Scientology’s controversies in three minutes or less…

Check your whale level at our dedicated page for status updates

Join us at the Underground Bunker’s Facebook discussion group for more frivolity.

Our non-Scientology stories: Robert Burnham Jr., the man who inscribed the universe | Notorious alt-right inspiration Kevin MacDonald and his theories about Jewish DNA | The selling of the “Phoenix Lights” | Astronomer Harlow Shapley‘s FBI file | Sex, spies, and local TV news


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