Here’s the 2025 Scientology Super Bowl ad — this time it’s ‘The Question’

 
TODAY AT SUBSTACK: If you’ve signed up for free emails at Substack, you will receive today’s feature story at your inbox: A few hours ago, early in the morning of the day that Super Bowl LIX will take place in New Orleans, Scientology revealed its ad for the big game this year. And once again, it’s a mystery sandwich. [What is this Substack thing, anyway?]

 
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Technology Cocktail

“Recently a musician being crammed kept bringing up a dispatch that he was in mystery about concerning the group. Every time it was mentioned it read or BDed yet the Cramming Officer continued ‘Cramming’ him and never handled it. So no product. I sat the musician down, told him he was crammed over a problem, the mystery about the dispatch, cleaned it up by getting the dispatch and letting him go over it, made sure the problem was handled then found the area of misunderstood and traced it back to an early age and the Why fell right out. And I got the Cramming Officer crammed by the Senior C/S and found her Why too. So the moral of the story is DON’T CRAM OVER OUT RUDS. It is too costly in lost production and flaps.” — L. Ron Hubbard, 1974

 
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THE PROSECUTION OF DANNY MASTERSON

We first broke the news of the LAPD’s investigation of Scientology celebrity Danny Masterson on rape allegations in 2017, and we’ve been covering the story every step of the way since then. At this page we’ve collected our most important links as Danny faces a potential sentence of 45 years to life in prison. NOW WITH TRIAL INDEX.

 
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THE PODCAST: How many have you heard?

[1] Marc Headley [2] Claire Headley [3] Jeffrey Augustine [4] Bruce Hines [5] Sunny Pereira [6] Pete Griffiths [7] Geoff Levin [8] Patty Moher [9] Marc Headley [10] Jefferson Hawkins [11] Michelle ‘Emma’ Ryan [12] Paulette Cooper [13] Jesse Prince [14] Mark Bunker [15] Jon Atack [16] Mirriam Francis [17] Bruce Hines on MSH

— SPECIAL: The best TV show on Scientology you never got to see

[1] Phil Jones [2] Derek Bloch [3] Carol Nyburg [4] Katrina Reyes [5] Jamie DeWolf

— The first Danny Masterson trial and beyond

[18] Trial special with Chris Shelton [19] Trial week one [20] Marc Headley on the spy in the hallway [21] Trial week two [22] Trial week three [23] Trial week four [24] Leah Remini on LAPD Corruption [25] Mike Rinder 2022 Thanksgiving Special [26] Jane Doe 4 (Tricia Vessey), Part One [27] Jane Doe 4 (Tricia Vessey), Part Two [28] Claire Headley on the trial [29] Tory Christman [30] Bruce Hines on spying [31] Karen de la Carriere [32] Ron Miscavige on Shelly Miscavige [33] Karen de la Carriere on the L’s [34] Mark Bunker on Miscavige hiding [35] Mark Plummer [36] Mark Ebner [37] Karen Pressley [38] Steve Cannane [39] Fredrick Brennan [40] Clarissa Adams [41] Louise Shekter [42] John Sweeney [43] Tory Christman [44] Kate Bornstein [45] Christian Stolte [46] Mark Bunker [47] Jon Atack [48] Luke Y. Thompson [49] Mark Ebner [50] Bruce Hines [51] Spanky Taylor and Karen Pressley [51] Geoff and Robbie Levin [52] Sands Hall [53] Jonny Jacobsen [54] Sandy Holeman [55] Mark Bunker [56] Trish and Liz Conley [57] Trish Conley [58] Alex Barnes-Ross [59] Alex Barnes-Ross [60] Alex Barnes-Ross [61] Alex Barnes-Ross [62] Alex Barnes-Ross [63] Alex Barnes-Ross [64] Tory Christman [65] Tammy Synovec [66] Dennis Erlich [67] Alex Barnes-Ross [68] Valerie Ross [69] Kat in Austin [70] Mark Bunker [71] Phil Jones

 
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Source Code

“You know girls are pretty high-toned ordinarily. You can never quite tell about a girl. You’re liable to meet her on Wednesday and her name is Elizabeth, and you’re liable to meet her on Monday and her name is Jessie, see. She changes her name very easily. Not only that, they get married and change their names. They do change their names. We do know that. Girl, up to the time she’s seventeen, has been very, very well — nicely known as Clarissa, you see, and she didn’t like that and you meet, next time you meet her she’s twenty-two and she calls herself Butch. There’s no telling what’s going to happen on it. Women do this, probably which accounts for their ability to hold on to a better-looking mock-up than men, because men become factually themselves. At whose assignment?” — L. Ron Hubbard, February 9, 1956

 
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Avast, Ye Mateys

“We are auditing now at a volume higher than that of any org in the world with a completion rate far in excess of any other 3 orgs. The bruised elbows in getting lines in, the bruised tempers, the hard work is really paying off with the finest auditing ever done anywhere. We are also averaging two or three Clear OTs a day! Come on, other departments and divisions. You’re only expected to be the greatest division or department of your kind anywhere in the world. So fly, you guys, fly!” — The Commodore, February 9, 1971

 
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Overheard in the FreeZone

“There’s a distinction between the person’s ideas about the body or the planet and the person’s objective awareness of the body or planet. That’s the 1st point of distinction here, the distinction between the subjective reality and awareness of mind and the objective awareness and actuality of existence. And therefore integral to the rehabilitation of awareness is the distinction between direct theta perception and perception via the body, again by running objective OT drills and exercises on the PT Environment both directly and via the body, as distinct from think and figure type subjective processes which simply address the Mind and the person’s ideas about existence.”

Past is Prologue

2002: The St. Petersburg Times reported that Scientology is placing billboards to advertise their Volunteer Ministers program. “For Americans troubled by economic uncertainty, fear and grief, 1,100 Church of Scientology billboards going up in major U.S. cities claim to have an answer. ‘No matter how bad it is … SOMETHING CAN BE DONE ABOUT IT.’ The billboards are part of an unprecedented national media campaign by Scientology to reach what it calls ‘a nation still troubled by the Sept. 11 attacks.’ But the blitz disturbs some mental health experts who express concern about both the church’s motive and its expertise in treating emotional distress. The advertisements promote the services of Scientology’s volunteer ministers, parishioners trained in basic Scientology principles that the church says can solve problems ranging from grief to marital difficulties to drug addiction. The Church of Scientology is spending $1.1-million on the billboards, which have gone up in New York, Los Angeles, San Diego, San Francisco, Sacramento, San Jose, Cincinnati and this week in Clearwater. More are slated for Atlanta, Boston, Miami, Washington, D.C., Chicago and St. Louis. In New York alone, there are 1,000 billboards, many mounted in the subway system. Clearwater, the spiritual headquarters of Scientology, is getting eight, and some of those will rotate to Tampa. The campaign grew out of Sept. 11, said spokeswoman Linda Simmons Hight of the Church of Scientology International in Los Angeles. Since the attacks, the ranks of the volunteer ministers have grown from 5,000 to 14,000, she said. Scientologists wanted to help at ground zero, and many did. ‘That’s what brought it together,’ Hight said. ‘We have volunteer ministers. We’re soon to have 6,000 more and we can do something about any situation in life.’ Mental health leaders say the campaign looks like a recruitment technique that could mislead emotionally vulnerable people. ‘We are concerned Scientology may be playing on people’s vulnerability to increase their membership,’ said Cynthia Folcarelli, executive vice president of the National Mental Health Association, the country’s oldest and largest nonprofit mental health research and advocacy organization. Volunteer ministers study a 19-chapter text called The Scientology Handbook that provides lessons such as improving communication skills, resolving conflicts, getting people off drugs, handling confusion in the workplace and improving domestic relations. The ministers also learn how to conduct ‘assists,’ procedures Scientologists believe help people overcome physical or emotional difficulty. It takes about 40 hours to complete all the chapters, although some volunteers study only select ones, said Sarah Gorgone, who coordinates about 200 volunteer ministers in the Clearwater area. Volunteer ministers do not proselytize, nor is the
campaign about recruitment, she said. ‘It’s Scientologists who have solutions to problems who are willing to go out of their way to share that
with other people,’ Hight said.”

 
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Random Howdy

“I think Tony is taking the day off and that’s just fine by me. Watch some football or somethin’ everybody.”

 
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Full Court Press: What we’re watching at the Underground Bunker

Criminal prosecutions:
— Danny Masterson charged for raping three women: Found guilty on two counts on May 31, remanded to custody. Sentenced to 30 years to life on Sep 7, 2023. Appeal brief due by December 23.

Civil litigation:
— Leah Remini v. Scientology, alleging ‘Fair Game’ harassment and defamation: Some defamation claims were removed by Judge Hammock. Judge Hammock’s ruling is on appeal.
— Baxter, Baxter, and Paris v. Scientology, alleging labor trafficking: Forced to arbitration.
— Valerie Haney v. Scientology: Forced to ‘religious arbitration.’
— Chrissie Bixler et al. v. Scientology and Danny Masterson. Judge Upindra Kalra’s ruling denying Scientology’s motion to strike is on appeal.
— Jane Doe 1 v. Scientology, David Miscavige, and Gavin Potter: Case unsealed and second amended complaint filed. Scientology moves for religious arbitration, gets ruling to depose Jane Doe 1.

 
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SCIENTOLOGY: FAIR GAME

After the success of their double-Emmy-winning, three-season A&E series ‘Scientology and the Aftermath,’ Leah Remini and Mike Rinder continue the conversation on their podcast, ‘Scientology: Fair Game.’ We’ve created a landing page where you can hear all of the episodes so far.

LEAH REMINI: SCIENTOLOGY AND THE AFTERMATH

An episode-by-episode guide to Leah Remini’s three-season, double-Emmy winning series that changed everything for Scientology watching. Originally aired from 2016 to 2019 on the A&E network, and now on Netflix.

SCIENTOLOGY’S CELEBRITIES, from A to Z

Find your favorite Hubbardite celeb at this index page — or suggest someone to add to the list!

 
Other links: SCIENTOLOGY BLACK OPS: Tom Cruise and dirty tricks. Scientology’s Ideal Orgs, from one end of the planet to the other. Scientology’s sneaky front groups, spreading the good news about L. Ron Hubbard while pretending to benefit society. Scientology Lit: Books reviewed or excerpted in a weekly series. How many have you read?

 
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THE WHOLE TRACK

[ONE year ago] Former Scientology spy goes to spy on future Scientology ‘Ideal Org’
[TWO years ago] Another Chicago Scientology hype video! But is the Saturday ‘Ideal Org’ event happening?
[THREE years ago] Ford Greene to appeals court: Formally publish the ruling against Scientology arbitration!
[FOUR years ago] The pandemic isn’t over, but Scientology leader David Miscavige is ready for his bow
[FIVE years ago] One sure sign a new Scientology ‘Ideal Org’ is on the way: the Central Files mayhem
[SIX years ago] Thinking of leaving Scientology? Jefferson Hawkins has your roadmap.
[SEVEN years ago] Tory ‘Magoo’ Christman, and how Anonymous went from online war to in-real-life pickets
[EIGHT years ago] We have your invitation to Scientology’s holiest celebration of the year!
[NINE years ago] Scientology’s thug life, documented: Aaron Smith-Levin shares a record of Sea Org violence
[TEN years ago] Mark Ebner finds Scientology’s rubbish again as Narconon International vanishes!
[ELEVEN years ago] Scientology’s continuing plans for its Super Bowl ad, and more Sunday Funnies
[TWELVE years ago] Scientology Mythbusting with Jon Atack: Original Spin

 
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Posted by Tony Ortega on February 9, 2025 at 07:00

E-mail tips to tonyo94 AT gmail DOT com or follow us on Twitter. We also post updates at our Facebook author page. After every new story we send out an alert to our e-mail list and our FB page.

Our new book with Paulette Cooper, Battlefield Scientology: Exposing L. Ron Hubbard’s dangerous ‘religion’ is now on sale at Amazon in paperback and Kindle formats. Our book about Paulette, The Unbreakable Miss Lovely: How the Church of Scientology tried to destroy Paulette Cooper, is on sale at Amazon in paperback, Kindle, and audiobook versions. We’ve posted photographs of Paulette and scenes from her life at a separate location. Reader Sookie put together a complete index. More information can also be found at the book’s dedicated page.

The Best of the Underground Bunker, 1995-2023 Just starting out here? We’ve picked out the most important stories we’ve covered here at the Underground Bunker (2012-2023), The Village Voice (2008-2012), New Times Los Angeles (1999-2002) and the Phoenix New Times (1995-1999)

Other links: BLOGGING DIANETICS: Reading Scientology’s founding text cover to cover | UP THE BRIDGE: Claire Headley and Bruce Hines train us as Scientologists | GETTING OUR ETHICS IN: Jefferson Hawkins explains Scientology’s system of justice | SCIENTOLOGY MYTHBUSTING: Historian Jon Atack discusses key Scientology concepts | Shelly Miscavige, 15 years gone | The Lisa McPherson story told in real time | The Cathriona White stories | The Leah Remini ‘Knowledge Reports’ | Hear audio of a Scientology excommunication | Scientology’s little day care of horrors | Whatever happened to Steve Fishman? | Felony charges for Scientology’s drug rehab scam | Why Scientology digs bomb-proof vaults in the desert | PZ Myers reads L. Ron Hubbard’s “A History of Man” | Scientology’s Master Spies | The mystery of the richest Scientologist and his wayward sons | Scientology’s shocking mistreatment of the mentally ill | The Underground Bunker’s Official Theme Song | The Underground Bunker FAQ

Watch our short videos that explain Scientology’s controversies in three minutes or less…

Check your whale level at our dedicated page for status updates, or join us at the Underground Bunker’s Facebook discussion group for more frivolity.

Our non-Scientology stories: Robert Burnham Jr., the man who inscribed the universe | Notorious alt-right inspiration Kevin MacDonald and his theories about Jewish DNA | The selling of the “Phoenix Lights” | Astronomer Harlow Shapley‘s FBI file | Sex, spies, and local TV news | Battling Babe-Hounds: Ross Jeffries v. R. Don Steele

 

Tony Ortega at The Daily Beast

 

Tony Ortega at Rolling Stone