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Scientology’s thug life, documented: Aaron Smith-Levin shares a record of Sea Org violence


[Aaron Smith-Levin in 2005]

We have a great slice of Scientology Sea Org life to share with you today, courtesy of Aaron Smith-Levin. We’ve been featuring Aaron in stories for some time, and in his videos he’s been telling you about what it was like to grow up in the church.

By 12 years old, Aaron had joined staff at the Philadelphia org, and then, in 2002 at 22 years old, he joined the Sea Org, Scientology’s hardcore inner circle. He left the SO four years later, but he remained in the church until very recently. He was only “declared” a “suppressive person” last year, though he had been communicating with former members, like Mike Rinder, for a few years.

Anyway, we’re learning that Aaron is a very meticulous and organized person. He let us know that he still has a copy of every report he filed as a Sea Org member, something that is pretty rare for people who leave the organization.

In order to give us a taste of what life is like in the Sea Org, he sent us a “knowledge report” that he submitted in 2004. We’ve explained here repeatedly that Scientology is a snitching culture, and that members are not only accustomed to being interrogated about their private lives, they are expected to turn in others for their transgressions. They do so in the form of knowledge reports.

At the time Aaron submitted this report, he was working at a facility known as the American Saint Hill Organization in Los Angeles. ASHO is one of the entities that make up the “Big Blue” complex just off Sunset Boulevard, which is known to Scientologists as PAC Base, for Pacific Area Command. ASHO is named after Saint Hill Manor, L. Ron Hubbard’s home in England. In 2004, ASHO was still delivering the Saint Hill Special Briefing Course and Power Processing, important courses for Scientologists about halfway up the “Bridge to Total Freedom.” ASHO was busy enough then to justify two separate shifts — Day, and Foundation, which operated in the evenings. Aaron worked as the Technical Secretary of ASHO Day.

As Technical Secretary, he was the head of Division Four, the division that was in charge of “delivery” — assuring that auditing and training was delivered properly to ASHO’s customers, public members of Scientology. (Scientology founder L. Ron Hubbard, who died in 1986, dictated the complex organizational hierarchy of all Scientology organizations, and his “org chart” is followed like it was a sacrament.) Aaron was one of eight division heads who in turn made up something called the Advisory Council. Each week, on Thursday evening, the Advisory Council was charged with putting together a document known as Financial Planning, which was submitted to the organization’s commanding officer — in this case, Captain Jon Lundeen. That document would show their plans for the upcoming week, and what they planned to do to increase ASHO’s statistics over that time.

In this case, however, Lundeen rejected the Financial Planning document, and Aaron was livid about it. After what ensued, he wrote up a Knowledge Report to turn in his own boss. Smith-Levin submitted the report to the ASHO Day Master at Arms, expecting that Lundeen would be pulled into Scientology’s “Ethics” process and be disciplined. But Aaron also copied it to many other people at PAC Base.

We asked him why he did that.

“That’s the best way to be a tattle-tale in Scientology. If you send a report to ethics, it gets buried. But what you do is copy it to a lot of people so it goes everywhere. It’s a way of saying ‘fuck you’,” he says, laughing about it today.

The report opens with Aaron talking about learning that the Financial Planning document had been rejected, and how he and the other division heads on the Advisory Council were reacting to it.

Knowledge Report
Captain ASHOD – Jon Lundeen

Today (Friday) at about 3:25PM I was in my office. FP [the Financial Planning document] had just been returned to me with a reject from the Captain. I had read the reject from the Captain over several times to fully get it. After reading it over and over I still did not feel like I had fully gotten it.

The Treas[ury] Sec[retary] came into my office and seemed to already know I had the FP back. I called the Dissem[ination] Sec[retary] into my office as a good portion on the reject related to a lack of Div[ision] 2 and Div[ision] 6 handlings in the Income Planning. The Dissem Sec came and read the reject. He did not fully agree with it and / or fully understand it.

As the other division heads were reacting to the “reject,” Aaron tried to capture how each of them felt that the captain was acting unreasonably.

But we told Aaron we were more interested in the concept that every week they had to come up with a new plan and describe in detail how they would increase the amount of business ASHO was doing. What went into such a report? Aaron laughed, acknowledging that it was mostly about citing buzzwords in the Hubbard lexicon.

“It was going through the motions, every week. We were saying the same things in different ways, and being clever about it,” he says.

I was angry at the reject. It was very HE&Ry [Human Emotions & Reaction], did not communicate clearly and was delivered with a lot of “chop” and “blame” and make-wrong.

While the Dissem Sec, Treas Sec and I were still in my office the HAS [HCO Area Secretary, head of Division 1] called my office phone. She said that the Captain didn’t want us to do FP now, but to finish it later. I got angry at this. The FP reject consisted of accusations of being off-policy and negligent and was make-wrong on other fronts. To then be told not to finish FP and to put it off…I couldn’t think with it.

I told the HAS that I was going to finish FP and that she should could come and read the reject. I told her that policy says it should already be done on Thursday night or early Friday morning and that it was already very late and needed to be finished. I told the HAS that I was not only going to follow policy when someone else felt that I should.

We remarked at how Scientology has another language, and the acronyms can make you dizzy.

“In the Scientology world, that was a very well written report,” he says with a laugh.

We asked Aaron what he meant by saying that his boss was being “HE&Ry” and had delivered a lot of “chop.”

“It just means he was being an asshole,” Aaron says. His captain was blaming people rather than offering constructive suggestions.

As I was talking to the HAS the Captain came into my office. I told the Captain that the HAS was on the phone and I told the HAS that the Captain had come into my office and to come up and join us.

The Captain said that he wanted FP finished later, and not right now. I told him it was supposed to be done now. He said that he needed production occurring now and FP could be finished after dinner. He said that if I didn’t go extend the STC [Student Completion] line-up that there would be no delivery and there would be no income and the org would crash. He said he was ordering me to get the fuck out of the office and to produce.

Aaron explains that he had just wanted to follow the rules and get the Financial Planning document finished and approved — it was already well past its deadline — but Lundeen told him to skip it. The captain wanted production, and planning could wait. Aaron explains that each week, they had to come up with a list of names of students who would be completing courses that week — the STC line-up. “You’d get desperate trying to have more names on the list this week than you did last week. So you’d ask people just to say anything so you could put them on the list,” Aaron says. “He was essentially saying don’t do the planning, just run around and be busy.”

I told him that it was not production I objected to, but that I felt AC [the Advisory Council] should complete the INCOME PLANNING – which was most of what the reject was about – and then work on EXECUTING the Income Planning.

I told him I objected to begin accused of not applying policy one minute and then ordered not to apply it the next. He told me to knock off the backflash. I told him I didn’t give a shit about the backflash. He told me to go to HCO.

Aaron had now been told to go to the Hubbard Communications Office, HCO, which is another way of saying that he was being sent to Scientology “Ethics” to be punished. He says he wasn’t too worried about it. He knew he’d be assigned a lower “condition,” and then be given a set of tasks to work his way out of it. It was just a part of Sea Org life.

But if Aaron was ready to get his punishment, something else was going on in Lundeen’s mind.

“What was going on was that he knew he still had a problem with me, and he needed to get ‘altitude’ over me. In his mind, he’s thinking, ‘I need to do something so Aaron knows that disagreeing with me is not an option for the future’.”

I had gotten up from my desk to put an OEC Vol [Organization Executive Course Volume] back on the shelf at the opposite end of my office. I told him I would go to HCO. I walked from the shelf back to my desk. The Captain was between me and the door. As I turned toward the door he turned towards me with his fist clenched and pulled his arm back and said, “You fucking son of a bitch mother fucker…” and swung at my head.

I sort of ducked and his fist hit the bone at the very top of my shoulder and went past and grazed the top of my head. His arm continued around and he tried to put me in a headlock. When I pulled my head away from him I was behind him and to his right. I grabbed him from behind, holding him around his torso and pinning his arms to his sides and held on tightly so that he could not pull away and try to punch me, which he was still trying to do.

By this time, it was only two of us in the office and I knew that if I let him go he was going to try and punch me, and I was not prepared to punch him back.

Aaron laughs. “He told me to go to HCO, and I was going to HCO. What’s there to be upset about?”

But then he offers an explanation. “People don’t get enough sleep. And it is so easy to lose your temper and fly off the handle. He and I would have a lot of screaming matches. And it was always when we were on two or three hours of sleep,” he says.

He remembers Lundeen being about 50 years old at the time. Lundeen is still in the Sea Org.

As I was holding him he was kicking at my legs with his feet. I moved us closer to a wall so that I could lean against it and move one leg out of the way while supporting myself against the wall.

I was still holding the Captain in this position when other staff members opened my office door to break it up.

When they were separating us I pushed the Captain clear away from me so that he could not turn around and try to hit me. A few weeks ago when he was going after the LC [LRH Communicator] in the Exec Office he was continuing to try and hit the LC while and even after they were being separated.

Aaron points out why this is significant — in the report he was explaining that he knew what Lundeen might try because he’d seen him try it with the LRH Communicator, a staffer who works not technically for the captain but for the Continential Liaison Office (CLO) and so is considered the captain’s equal.

The Captain did come in my direction again. There were several people between us and he did not attempt to actually hit me. I went directly down to HCO with the staff MAA right after this.

This is true.


Aaron Smith-Levin
Tech Sec ASHOD

Aaron signs off with the standard Sea Org salutation, “ML,” for “much love.”

He laughs when we asked about how copying a report like this to so many people in management might backfire. “Here I am dropping a dime on my own commanding officer, you’d think it would come back to haunt me,” he says. But he had friends among those executives, and anyway, in Scientology you were expected to snitch on your boss. Just like you are expected to snitch on your own spouse. Your parents. Your kids.

It’s what you do in Scientology.

“I’d say the main thing I take away from this report today is how much internal conflict exists on a daily basis in the Sea Org,” Aaron says. “The constant internal fighting within orgs and between orgs is what made me want to leave the Sea Org. I joined the SO with good intentions of helping other Scientologists do the services they wanted to do. I was never one to get new people into Scientology or to sell things to other Scientologists. My gig was always to deliver Scientology services to Scientologists who already paid for them. It was a good gig. It got to a point where it was very hard to focus on doing that because people were constantly at each other’s throats trying blame each other for being the cause of one down-statistic or another.

“Even in writing my report, the purpose of it was not really to let management know that the Captain had assaulted me; but just to document my side of the story because I knew he’d say I assaulted him first. A junior assaulting a senior is definitely worse than a senior assaulting a junior. So even my report was motivated by need to defend against further attack. The dog-eat-dog atmosphere became increasingly prevalent in the Los Angeles Sea Org orgs during my time there (2002-2006).”

And today, he points out, with more negative press attention than ever in its history, Scientology is hurting badly, and that means that Sea Org members are constantly dealing with stats crashing.

“This is the reality. Almost no new people are getting into Scientology. When stats are down, being in an org is hell — and stats in Scientology have been down for a long time.”

Thank you, Aaron, for giving us that glimpse of what it’s like to work in the Sea Org. Here’s the document itself…

Aaron Smith-Levin Knowledge Report #1


Bonus photos from our tipsters

We have an Alfreddie Johnson sighting in Florida. He’s posing with a Nation of Islam “Clear” and a “Super Power” graduate in the St. Petersburg area, we believe.


Hey, girl. Yeah, you know I’m going to college. Hubbard College of Administration. Sexy.



3D-UnbreakablePosted by Tony Ortega on February 9, 2016 at 07:00

E-mail tips and story ideas to tonyo94 AT gmail DOT com or follow us on Twitter. We post behind-the-scenes updates at our Facebook author page. After every new story we send out an alert to our e-mail list and our FB page.

Our book, The Unbreakable Miss Lovely: How the Church of Scientology tried to destroy Paulette Cooper, is on sale at Amazon in paperback and Kindle editions. We’ve posted photographs of Paulette and scenes from her life at a separate location. Reader Sookie put together a complete index. More information about the book, and our 2015 book tour, can also be found at the book’s dedicated page.

Learn about Scientology with our numerous series with experts…

BLOGGING DIANETICS: We read Scientology’s founding text cover to cover with the help of L.A. attorney and former church member Vance Woodward
UP THE BRIDGE: Claire Headley and Bruce Hines train us as Scientologists
GETTING OUR ETHICS IN: Jefferson Hawkins explains Scientology’s system of justice
SCIENTOLOGY MYTHBUSTING: Historian Jon Atack discusses key Scientology concepts

Other links: Shelly Miscavige, ten years gone | The Lisa McPherson story told in real time | The Cathriona White stories | The Leah Remini ‘Knowledge Reports’ | Hear audio of a Scientology excommunication | Scientology’s little day care of horrors | Whatever happened to Steve Fishman? | Felony charges for Scientology’s drug rehab scam | Why Scientology digs bomb-proof vaults in the desert | PZ Myers reads L. Ron Hubbard’s “A History of Man” | Scientology’s Master Spies | Scientology’s Private Dancer | The mystery of the richest Scientologist and his wayward sons | Scientology’s shocking mistreatment of the mentally ill | Scientology boasts about assistance from Google | The Underground Bunker’s Official Theme Song | The Underground Bunker FAQ

Our Guide to Alex Gibney’s film ‘Going Clear,’ and our pages about its principal figures…
Jason Beghe | Tom DeVocht | Sara Goldberg | Paul Haggis | Mark “Marty” Rathbun | Mike Rinder | Spanky Taylor | Hana Whitfield


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  • i’ve realized crows are my winter BLIMP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! cuz i hear one crow and i’m up and looking out the window……today was a VERY crowful day!!

    couple crows were in my yard this morning….i had just filled the feeders, but they don’t feed at them….one of the idiot squirrel brothers at 8pm….the crow paid him no mind….i dunno what they were doing, perhaps they were on hawk patrol….

    at ‘clock out’ time, i saw a few small crow crews fly home…then one very large group, to the east a short bit later….a little bit after that i saw a decent sized crew approaching and went out and filmed them—i didn’t upload that—but this crew was flying right overhead…..i figured they were the last crew of the night, though when i got on the ladder to salt the gutter and back porch roof (it’s starting to snow and i figured it’d be best to salt it before we got an accumulation) i wore my camera and nope, no crows……heard/saw no more crows….UNTIL…around 5:30, i think a little after that….i was eating and i saw this SWARM of crows approaching towards the trees behind my house…..i went into ‘blimp’ mode and got downstairs and out the door STAT…..i started the camera while i was opening the back door….

    fucking awesome huge group of crows spread between my trees, eddie’s maple, the clock out tree and they were working their way over to trees on york—the street on the side of me is dayton place, when i go into my side yard when you see the backs of those houses, those face dayton place…the crows went to trees on york, the next street up…..soooo worth my dinner going cold—and me getting cold…..i hope this happens again!!! i’ll just start wearing my camera every day between 4pm and 6pm 🙂

    • jazzlover

      Damn! No Edward stories today? 🙂

      • despite going to 7 stores yesterday (and a gas station for gas) i had to go up to save-a-lot today for paper towels cuz PANACEA thought it’d be fun to get into the paper towels and destroy them last night….ANYWAY….on my way back (it’s like 3 minutes away) eddie was walking up luedella with his dogs on their walk….i stopped to ask if his son had got a hold of him….

        did you end up talking to JT?
        did JT call you?
        of course, he needed your cell #
        i left him my home #
        [heavy sigh]okay 1, you shouldn’t have to leave him your home # cuz he should have it already and 2, why call him before you go to work?
        he could’ve left a message on my answering machine
        no, i left it at home

        then we were chit chatting about the weather…..the murder in kent….and behind him the woman who lives at the corner house was CLIMBING over her back porch railing making a 8′ drop into a small area where her poor dog is contained…..i made him come closer to the van and quietly said “street walker just climbed over the porch into the dog pit” [yes, she’s known as street walker]….eddie wasn’t surprised at all and said “she does that all the time”….”dude, there’s a gate with a latch right there, why the fuck doesn’t she walk in?” “I dunno i’ve seen her climb in and out all the time and just figured it was par for this neighborhood” “you’re right about that!” then she climbs back out…..i’d never ever seen that before…..i know this is the land of misfit toys, but that’s pretty weird….there’s a gate…..dafuq?

        • Free Minds, Free Hearts

          I am so in love with Edward – life would never be boring with him. What a unique mind he has!

          • “unique mind” is one way to put it……

            • Free Minds, Free Hearts


        • jazzlover

          Thanks! That should tide me over……….until tomorrow 😉

          • please keep in mind i don’t always speak to him every day!

          • bonus, he just called me on the way home from work….earlier today i had told him i got a box of suet at aldi’s, 10 pack for around $8 and it was good stuff……(obviously i mean bird suet)…..

            [grinch ring tone]
            what aisle is that suet in?
            why couldn’t you call me tomorrow about this?
            i’m gonna stop on my way home
            um, where?
            at save-a-lot
            i didn’t know they sold bird suet
            you told me
            i didn’t buy any suet there
            oh it was aldi’s then, same difference, what aisle
            not the same difference, aldi’s isn’t open 24 hours
            they’re open now though
            no they’re not, they’re closed
            [silence on edward’s part]
            [continued silence on edward’s part]
            dude, i can’t make aldi’s open up, you should have went before work
            you don’t know i was thinking that
            YES I DO!
            can’t you start a campaign to get a 24 hour aldi’s like save-a-lot?
            dude, should you be on your cell phone right now, i saw reports roads are slippery
            that’s a good idea, i gotta get home and salt my driveway
            i’m not gonna salt mine, fuck them using my side
            i don’t blame you
            i think i’m gonna move my van across the street tomorrow [condemned house’s parking spot]
            then he might park on your side
            i’ll call the cops
            will you youtube that
            is water wet?
            [silence on edward’s part]
            [tia not waiting for more silence]
            you should get off the cell phone
            yeah, i’m getting onto the expressway

            • jazzlover

              All I can say is that you’re a good friend 🙂

            • you know, he wrote me a note saying something like that about 20 years ago….i got that somewhere….

            • jazzlover

              Find it. It may be worth using years from now 🙂

            • i sort of know where it is…..hold on…..

            • denied!! i knew it was on a bulletin board and i pulled that out and it wasn’t on it….it had to have fallen off it……i looked a bit on the floor but then started sneezing from dust……so it’ll have to wait….

        • phoebequeen

          That is funny.

          • i’m still trying to figure out why the fuck she climbs over the railing and down 8′ and then climbs back up—when there is……….A FUNCTIONAL GATE!!! and i JUST realized this—-she has ladders on her pickup truck….um??? i gotta stop trying to figure this out…..

    • aegerprimo

      Even though they are noisy, crows are awesome birds; smart and the whole “murder” helps protect, teach and raise the young birds.
      Thanx for sharing Miss Tia!

      • their voices DO carry quite a ways!! i’m getting good at determining where they are—just like the blimp! 😀 the only other noisy bird i know of is the blue jay….but they have nothing on crows…..i do love hearing the crows talk though….

        yeah, i’ve read that crow families stick together and the youngsters will help their parents with the next couple years of babies before they start their own families, but they still stick together….and other crows do indeed ‘help’….

        • sashiebgood

          Crows are amazing and intelligent and yes, very family oriented. your group of crows knows your face, your car and everything that goes on in your neighborhood. a while ago PBS Nature had a show about them “A Murder of Crows” that is fantastic. you can download it at or use the app. I work at a nature museum and we have an imprinted crow named Edgar who is the coolest bird. I love crows.
          ETA : and Blue Jay’s are cousins of crows, they’re corvids – same family.

          • i swear some of the crows at the chapel hill area—like 5-7 minutes from here and the direction they come from every day—recognize me…my van is rather loud….and when i see them behind giant eagle (grocery store) i always slow down, put down the window and ask ’em if they’re having a good day crowing (yes, i’m insane)….

            they ARE very aware of what goes on around here! there’s only a few who hang out around here during the day, but if they give a call, more will come! i love watching how they call out and then one comes, then another, then another…….even though they don’t ‘live’ here, they certainly try to keep this area hawk free and i know the song birds must greatly appreciate that!

            • sashiebgood

              you should totally watch that episode of Nature, you would love it. 😊

            • Susan B.

              I frequently caw at crows. They look at you like WTF??? when you do this.

            • phoebequeen

              Now that is funny and something I think I would do! You probably have seen the video where the crow is on a snowy roof, has a bottle cap and slides down the roof and then back up again? Hysterical. I think it was in Russia. I have read studies , that showed crows indeed recognize humans. They will also, have a nut in their mouth, wait until a car is approaching, an then drop it so the car tires run over it and they can then eat it! That’s brilliant.

    • Sandy

      Tia – it’s funny to me that every time I play one of your crow videos, my cockatiel chimes in with chirps and whistles. I don’t know if he is scared or excited, but it really gets him going!

      • Oh I hope he’s not scared!!! I’d feel bad if he’s scared; but I think you’d be able to tell. He’s probably excited, ‘Listen to all those birds!!’

    • phoebequeen

      My Lord! It’s like your in Bodega Bay! Stay inside!

      • Must go OUT to the crows! 😀

    • mon elle

      Could you train them to take care of the neighbor with turn around issues.

      • that’s funny!! i do respect the crow’s autonomy though…..

        • mon elle

          I remember a very bad neighbor who I had to consciously remind myself in the winter was not the headache of exacting vengeance on in the form of a windshield treatment involving warm syrup and cat litter (possibly used).

    • Sandy

      Miss Tia, My lovely bird Peaches suddenly died in my hands this morning. It is heartbreaking. I m so sad

      • Oh Sandy I am so so sorry 🙁 There are no words can bring you comfort, but please know I empathize with you and send you love. ((hugs))

        • Sandy

          Thank you, Tia. I knew you would understand. My husband was at the cabin when it happened and since he got home today – he just can’t quit crying. The only other people I told were my 2 sisters – but they really don’t get it – ya know. Wed nite, the only person I could think of who would know how I felt was you.

          • Apologies on replying, Martha (cat) has been ill and we went to the vet yesterday. Unsure what is wrong but she got everything but the kitchen sink thrown at her! (IV fluids–she was slightly dehydrated; anti-nausea meds; antibiotic shot; dewormer).

            Some people do NOT get it at all. I feel bad for people who don’t get it cuz they’re missing out on how our ‘pets’ enrich our lives in countless ways. It is just so amazing and wondrous that little beings can provide so much love, joy, and comfort to our lives. They can brighten the darkest day; their needs can get you out of bed on a day you don’t want to move because you know they depend on you and you would never let them down; they are always THERE.

            I hope your husband can take some comfort in knowing you were there at the time, they were not alone. The love remains. That will never leave and is always there. ALWAYS. I’ve been thinking of you the past few days. ((hugs))

            • Sandy

              I am so sorry to hear about Martha. I feel a connection to your pets. I missed the story about Poli’s updates. Hope it’s going ok.

              I can’t take Peaches’ cage out or any of his toys yet. Seems too soon. I need to keep looking at his stuff for a while yet.

              Mark took in a stray cat up at our cabin this summer (I don’t travel up there anymore). So, he goes up every Sunday and stays thru Tues or Wed for him. Now that Peaches would no longer be in danger from this cat, I asked Mark if he might bring him down here, but Mark thinks he is a country boy, not a city boy – so it’s up in the air. He has a friend who checks on him.


              Thanks for being a friend.

  • I will add that when I was in, it was exactly true that unless you cc’d people higher up on such reports that they often were ignored or just put into the backlog. But cc’ing made HCO take action so that when/if any of those seniors inquired about it, HCO could report what was being done, if HCO had to be told to do something then that is some sort of “Danger” or worse. So by CC’ing people it sort of added pressure toward correction. Of course, most correction was simply band-aids.

    The entire Scientology staff/SO experience is dog eat dog. The snitch culture is real. All it really does in the end is breed mistrust between everyone … and yeah I mean everyone! It’s the most dysfunctional organization I have ever been part of. They ONLY thing that’s kept Scientology here at all is the few hard working staffs that try to ignore all the politics and just deliver service. And the fact that there is so much focus on money to keep the giant boat afloat.

    I did learn one thing after my several year stint with staff/SO and that was, if you were overt about things, you often got axed. The only way to survive was to get covert and to learn how to use the system to protect yourself. It should never have been like that, it was and still is. Some of the longest time staff members in my area are the most 1.1 assholes you’d ever meet, yet they smile well for the cameras and every move is about building their own PR and importance and safeguarding their staff position.

  • Bavarian Rage

    Just finished another day at the “salt mine”. I often fantasize about quitting…not that I dislike my job, on the contrary. The main gripe is the crushing work volume. Working for a charitable organization means staff budget is always too tight. There could easily be 2 people pulling off my position.

    But then Aaron reminds me that it could be worse, infinitely worse! I could be a poor sap in the sea org. Thank you for a timely attitude adjustment!

    • Juicer77

      I guess never being bored is a mixed blessing. 🙂

  • Supper Powers
  • Cute F5

    • Ben Franklin

      This kid is no joke, he has excellent reflex and rapid fingers. The smartphone generation. What can I say?

      • Juicer77

        I’m telling you, the next evolutionary step will be babies born with USB ports and wifi.

  • sashiebgood

    if I went on a date with a guy and he took me to his “library” and it looked like that, I think I’d kick him in the nuts and run away as fast as possible. and then change my number because he’s probably already given it to the COS and I’ll never stop getting phone calls.

    • jazzlover

      As painful as that visualization is for me, I just had to laugh 🙂

  • TOT land of misfit toys: a couple weeks go dv-pos (he of vibrating volvo infamy) started to block their side of the driveway apron again….it was the day after one of the nepalese families had a lot of people over and cars were parked all along the street—parked on the proper side of the street, i might add, AND not blocking anyone’s driveway…..but he’s obsessed with people turning around in the driveway….of course this means that EVERYONE drives on MY side, including them…..cuz woe betide he gets out of a car and moves something….now i could be a bitch and park my van down there, but i choose my battles—or just wait and eventually ‘blow’ 😉 …..we’re getting snow…..there’s a potential of enough snow to cover his make shift fuckery and obviously he doesn’t know laws or civil responsibility……someone goes to turn around and hits that big rock? they have a claim…..and i’ll be damned if i shovel or even salt my side of the driveway apron where THEY drive every single day and i go only once or twice a week…..hell no….my evil side (i have a good side??) REALLY would like to put one of those landscaping boards (which he got from the condemned house across the street) across MY part of the driveway if/when i know we’d get enough snow to cover it!!! HAH!!! let his ass drive over that!! in the summer if i put my trash can on my side of the apron, when he had his trash can on his side, he’d move MINE to come and go…..

    dumbass fuckery…..

    i can’t fully put this on him though…..i think that house makes people obsess with people turning around in the driveway….the guy who lived there before, rich, lived there around 20 years until he sold it and he HATED people turning around….he once put traffic cones across the whole driveway apron until i finally said “dude, i’m being inconvenienced, just put it on half”….to his credit, he said that wouldn’t be fair to me and he removed them all but still rued 😉 people turning around…..i talked to a lady who knew mrs. gaffney who lived there in the 1950s and 60s and apparently mrs. gaffney was BEYOND obsessed with people turning around in the driveway….she’d call 911 with their license plates til the cops told her to stop and then she started to run out of the house with pitchers of water to throw at cars yelling at them to get out of her driveway…..i asked this lady if the people in my house cared and she said no, they found it funny and sometimes they had their friends turn around in the driveway to set her off…..

    • what’sup

      I just took a virtual drive around your neighborhood. I’m not stalking you I promise, it’s been 108℉ here for 3 days in a row. I worked in it for the first 2 but I couldn’t back it up today, I just couldn’t. So I’m hiding in a cool, dark place until today’s done…. It’s too early for beer and pool yet me thinks.

      • google maps lets anyone ‘drive’ around the ‘hood 🙂 Egads, that’s just too hot to function in!!! Stay cool (in more ways than one ;), drink gatorade or equivalent, and i just gotta say, FUCK! that’s hot!!

        • what’sup

          I’m restoring an old Church that looks a lot like the one the cnr of York and Howard. It’s like 120℉ inside it. No fun at all.

          • ah, that’s a few blocks away…..blessed trinity is right by me—i’m on robinette, 571 robinette, the lavender house at the end and the striped fence is my side yard…..and it still cracks me up google approved my edit of ‘land of misfit toys’ on robinette court 😀 you need a GUIDED tour sometime! the new neighbors want me to compile all my ‘hood history, including things that happened years and years ago—-this place has always been, um, different!

            usually church’s are cool even when it’s hot out—it’s how they’re built….of course if they’re built differently and with say, heat absorbing materials, then yeah, it would be hot…..

            i just noticed ‘north hill wireless’ got on google maps REAL quick…they opened like a month ago…..i can see them from the front of my house looking down towards tallmadge…..i took a pix when i went out a bit ago…..with the ‘asia’ sign…..yeah, i was zooming a bit…..last business in there was a barber shop…..they didn’t last long, but they put in a lot of hours….sort of a bad spot for a barber….the cell phone place might have better business with all the nepalese with have around here and the international institute a block away…..


            • what’sup

              Ironic that you would be concerned for my hydration while giving out your location to OSA. You crazy!

            • my address is public info and i freely give it out! send me a post card! 🙂 and yes, i AM concerned about your hydration!! (and i’m crazy 😉

            • what’sup

              On the plus side. Check out my tan line. (f5)

          • Juicer77

            You do restoration work? My fangirl crush just tripled. 😉

            • what’sup

              It’s not as glamorous as it sounds. I specialize in the exterior of heritage buildings, federation style to be more precise. Red bricks and ornate concrete work. If you know what tuck pointing is you’ll get some idea, I don’t get too much work in that field so don’t spend a lot time doing it anymore, mainly small demolition /renovation jobs and dry wall. I just happen to be on a big one now.

              I lived in Sydney from 94- 99 and learnt the trade (many more houses of that style there). Some years later, after I came back to Perth our biggest company of this nature offered me great money to join them, they really needed someone experienced as the owner kept disappearing to a place called Clearwater to do some Scientology courses. Leaving really only other clams to run his shit. I lasted about a year and only saw the boss for a about 2 days total in that time. I eventually got fed up with their TR drills and staring competitions but by then i’d read a lot and knew all about them (OCB was up and running then). It’s a rabbit hole I still haven’t climbed out of today.

              That’s a true story.

            • Juicer77

              Interesting skill set! Experience with clam employment seems fairly widespread among readers here. I can only guess that the money must have been good to put up with it as long as you did.

    • salin

      In realtime – how annoying. In the context you just shared – how interesting, and uncanny.

      • isn’t that interesting and yes, uncanny? i mean the same house has 3 different unrelated people exhibiting the same obsession…..DAFUQ?!

        and yes, it IS annoying….i know she thinks it’s stupid but she probably doesn’t say anything lest he beats her…..

        • phoebequeen

          Maybe it’s a gas leak? making them cra cra?

          • Everyone there takes a turn for the worse. It used to be an ancient Indian no parking zone.

            • salin

              *cough, poltergeist, cough*

            • nah, not there….did i ever tell you about the creepy spot in the neighborhood that i will never EVER go back too?? you could not PAY ME to go there again….no way no how, nope nope nope…..i told all the hood kids to STAY AWAY and since i rarely tell them flat out NOT to do something—it’s usually “do you think that’s a good idea?” and i let them reason it out—they abide by that…..

            • salin

              I missed the story about the creepy spot.

            • i dunno if i told it here or not….so, this was a few years ago… elderly lady on luedella fed a couple friendly strays and one of them hadn’t shown up in a couple days and she was worried…..i said i’d go look around perimeters for him…..i was my cell phone, she was on her landland (dunno if that matters)…..i walk up luedella, then along columbia, then i go down dayton place….if you look at google maps if you go down dayton place from columbia on your right hand side (if google maps is updated, should be) you’ll see an empty lot, a tan/brown house, then a vacant lot, then a house….at this time there was still a house next to the tan/brown house–though it was vacant….the backyard of this house abuts her backyard… i was in front of the tan/brown house i heard those people had a radio on in their garage as they were working on their car….birds were chirping….regular day noises…..told charlotte i’d look in the back yard of the vacant house behind her as there was bushes there and he could be in there….

              i go down the driveway, i can SEE charlotte standing at her back door….we’re still on the phone with each other…..i get about 10′ away from the house into the back yard and suddenly ALL sound ceased–no car radio next door, no birds chirping, it looked like charlotte was behind a fog, the phone was all staticky and i’m saying into the phone “what the fuck?! can you hear me?! what the fuck is going on?!” then thru the static i heard a man’s voice say “help, help me”…..

              i fucking FLEW out of that back yard and stopped in front of the tan/brown house to catch my breath and i could hear the radio, the birds, and no static on the phone…..”charlotte are you there?” “what the fuck happened?!” (yes she talks like that) “tell me what you saw and heard from the back door” “i saw you by the house and then it’s like you went into a fog but there was no fog and the phone was all static but i heard a little girl crying” then i told her what i heard and saw…….

              i asked the neighborhood veterans if anything bad had happened in that backyard and no one had known of anything…..evelyn who lived on robinette her whole life before a lot of the houses on dayton place were even BUILT knew of nothing happening there in the house’s backyard….so if something bad DID happen, and i do believe something did, it had to have happened 110+ years prior…….omg i’m sort of shaking typing this…..i never felt so fucking freaked out before in my life……the “help, help me” from the man coming thru the phone…..and the fog—THERE WAS NO FOG—yet i saw it and charlotte saw it…….::shudder:: nope, i will NEVER EVER go there again….no way no how nope……

            • salin

              That is freaky to read – which means it would be exponentially freaky to experience.

              Thanks for sharing it. Wow.

            • Juicer77

              Tia’s Crazy Neighbor and GhostWatch Cam.
              We really need a GoFundMe for this.

            • I got some actual ‘ghost’ stories, where they’ve been seen. I should make videos of me telling ghost stories or write them up or something. The new neighbors want me to write all the neighborhood history and ghost info, etc down in a book.

            • They only moved the curb paint.

            • phoebequeen

              It’s like a Stephen King book.

            • i read a lot of his books…..if i told you some of the history you might divert from that….or maybe not…..i dunno….one of the long time neighbor’s said one day “others would think we’re nuts if we told them what goes on here”…..

            • phoebequeen

              Me too. Reading one now. Crap, can’t remember name. Latest one. What makes your neighborhood so, um, interesting do you think?

            • bazaar of bad dreams is the latest one and the conclusion of the mr. mercedes trilogy comes out june 6th—I CANNOT WAIT for that!!!

              either something to do with the indians and/or a friend thinks we’re on a ley line……i just know it’s not ‘normal’ around here… one of our mail carriers said “this is the weirdest neighborhood in the city of akron”…..and i love the land of misfit toys! 🙂

            • phoebequeen

              I like how you call it land of misfit toys. Sounds about right.

            • i got google to make an edit for my street ‘land of misfit toys’ 😀 it really is!!

            • TheMirrorThetan

              Iam reading Misery at the moment and have just finished Needful things, It and Salem’s Lot. Well rereading anyway. I have Bazaar of Bad Dreams to read too, but sometimes I like to go back to old friends. His older books are my comfort reads .

            • phoebequeen

              Those are classics. Shared Things is book I am reading. Just started it. I love reading a big book. You develop a relationship with it. It’s a little sad when it ends to.

            • i think eddie was on to something when i was telling him about the houses/neighbors on dayton place one day when we were coming back from somewhere….he said it was like this area was under an indian curse!! indians DID live here a couple hundred years ago!

          • nope….we got checked a few years ago for that by the gas company… it’s been going on so long…..

        • salin

          that last statement is so sad. No one deserves to live in fear of saying something that results in a beating.

          Dafuq is right. I don’t subscribe to causality in such a case (ala some kind of vibe from the house.. causing the human reaction); without a paranormal explanation it is just one crazy (at the wtf level) situation – which is – even with out a paranormal explanation – really interesting.

          • Susan B.

            The house has body thetans.

          • as i’m sure you recall, they’ve been together 20 years and he’s beaten her the whole time, has numerous dv convictions and some officers i talked too, said it gets worse every time….last time he pistol whipped her—that was before they lived here….she moved here when he was in jail for that…..

            yeah, it’s really interesting….i mean, how/why are people in that house OBSESSED about people turning around in a SHARED driveway? it’s been going on for at least 66 years!!!! no idea or clue….i know of nothing ‘bad’ happening in that house either…..not that that would somehow affect someone obsessing over a driveway…..

            • phoebequeen

              It’s like American Horror Story. {{{shudder}}} I admit, I could not watch it this season. I like dark things, but I just couldn’t this season.

            • i’ve heard of it, but never watched it….

            • phoebequeen

              Oh, it’s really good. Past seasons are on Netflix. Always a different story arc over the season, mostly same actors playing different roles. Jessica Lange was fabulous in it. She wasn’t on this year. Lady Gaga was and was pretty good from what I saw. I think this is the 5th season and it’s been renewed for next year. If you like dark, very dark and creepy weird, you would like it.

            • don’t have netflix and i prefer written dark and creepy to visual…..what your mind can imagine is far worse than the ‘real’ imagine that’s created for you……

            • phoebequeen

              That is so true. Hey I have a bird seed question. So I bought 2 different types of seed. One that I put on back deck table. The birds and squirrels both enjoy. Like a Disney cartoon. Although, the squirrels can be bullies. So ,I bought for birds only seed that has chili pepper in it. Apparently, birds love the hot stuff and it keeps the squirrels away. Problem is, I think it might be mean to the squirrels? I didn’t notice when I bought it. I might just take it back. Have you ever used this before?

            • No, I’ve never used that before for exactly that reason—i think it’d be mean to squirrels. You could get the squirrels some corn cobs, or a seed block or peanuts. Or make them PB sandwiches.

            • phoebequeen

              Ha. Yeah, told hubby I think I will just return it. Poor things. Like getting hold of a jalapeno. Ok. Thanks. Heading to man cave to watch some tv. Nite. Watch for birds flying too low!

    • phoebequeen

      Oh my. Never a dull moment.

    • Susan B.

      No fun. : ( So what are the local laws and if there’s one he’s breaking can he be called on it?

      • i’m sure there is a city ordinance he IS breaking……IIRC there are 2 regarding shared driveways…..but, i have made it a long time practice to not play ‘reindeer games’…..i also know i could have an attorney friend send a letter for them to stop exclusively using my side of the driveway, as that could lead to them claiming a permanent easement to my property; it damages my property; it increases my likelihood of being liable for someone else’s damages; etc……

        BUT i have learned thru the years that such perpetrators of fuckery, will get theirs…..i shall wait and outlast ’em….

        • Juicer77

          You can train crows, you know. No one would ever suspect. 😉

          • I’d feel bad for involving an animal in something perhaps unethical and yes, i am that much of a dweeb to think of such things!

  • Susan B.

    I just called the Alan Colmes Show on Fox Radio to queue up for the last 5 minutes of Radio Graffiti. I’ve done this once before. I ask, “Where is Shelly Miscavige?” Micro protesting.

    • Susan B.

      I got in and did my thing. Last 5 minutes of his show is Radio Graffiti. You get one sentence to say whatever you’d like to say. Anyone else want to join in on this? It would be spectacular to have more than one caller in one night mention something related to the dark side of CO_Ka-Ching! Alan can be heard streaming live on-line on Fox Radio from 3 to 6 pm on the Left Coast. 6 to 9 on the East Coast. Locally in the SF Bay Area a re-broadcast of today’s show can be heard on Talk 910 AM KNEW from 7 to 10 pm. 1-877-FOR-ALAN is his number.

    • phoebequeen

      Good for you.

    • phoebequeen

      Awww. that is adorable. Can you teach him to fetch?

    • EmmaDaoust

      Precious and few are the moments we Toucans share.

      • Juicer77

        ROFL! good one!

    • madame duran

      I’m oogling at that super colourful keyboard!

  • Was getting rid of old stuff and found this.

    • Jimmy3

      It is for free. The price is freedom.

      • I threw away most, but reluctantly keep some “gems”.

        • mon elle

          Get thee to a scanner and wikileaks ….

          • Ben Franklin

            That would make him Dodo “Assange” TheLaser

            • mon elle

              Elle just blinked.

              She posted a screed about Gerry Armstrong, I replied with a couple re: LRH (which she replied to) and FreedomMag and Bob Crouch followed with a tongue-lashing.

              Gone went her original post and her reply to me.

              I don’t remember her ever blinking like this.

              I just wish I had screen captured it all.

            • Juicer77

              Oooh. Maybe the hard shell is cracking at last?

    • phoebequeen


    • salin

      perfect for the orwellian speak of Co$. Free = 500,000+!

    • I get a Lotus Elan! I’ll join! Where do I sign?

      • Read small print, please.

        • D’oh! There’s always small print.

        • Mockingbird

          Cost everything.

    • 5 Feet Long and Luminous

      Did anyone write a KR on them for abuse of capitalization rules?

    • aquaclara

      Ha ha. Great find, Dodo. Be wary of those who promise free stuff. It is never free.

    • Newiga

      Interesting choice for a picture… I wonder what’s the story behind it. Also, I didn’t know the word “free” exists in Scientologese. 😛 ETA; In connection with money.

    • Juicer77

      Box it all up and leave it by Ebner’s door. XD

    • Jenny Lee de Becker

      There is no expiry date on that offer….you think it is still going? So keen…..

  • Robert Eckert

    Marco Rubio is addressing his supporters: “Aw snap! Victory speech not found. To proceed, go back to the previous page, or load another candidate.”

    • Jimmy3

      Did Trump actually wait for Sanders to finish his speech, or is this a coincidence? That seems unusually classy for him.

      • Jimmy3

        Or maybe he just wants undivided attention. That sounds more likely.

        • Mockingbird

          Trump loooooooves undivided attention. He knows he is very important, just ask him.

          He and Hubbard are cut from the same cloth. A straight jacket.

          • Doc M

            Watching Trump is watching a reality show, I really don’t think anyone takes him seriously, nor would he have a chance in hell of snagging the nomination.

      • phoebequeen

        I wish Davy would endorse him. Maybe that would put an end to him.

        • mon elle

          Like the Panthers?

    • phoebequeen

      Snort. People around him starting hearing a slight whirling sound followed by a fan sound and then beeping.

    • Robert Eckert

      Meanwhile, the Christie campaign says he will reassess depending on whether he ends up 5th or 6th. A pundit on the screen was asking what’s the big difference between 5th and 6th? Duh-uh, if he finishes behind Rubio, after beating him up and taking his lunch money, that’s humiliating.

      • Doc M

        Christie was never a serious contender. If he doesn’t drop out in the next week, he’ll do it after a very poor showing in S.C.

  • so Cruise was in London for the Super Bowl…. and to think I could have got to this bar in about 15 minutes if I’d known…. ‘Hi, I’m media lush, you might have heard of me….”


    • mon elle

      TC: “Actually no.”

      ML: “Not even my social media empire?”

      TC: “Drawing a blank here. Do you have one of those avatar things I could see. That might ring a bell”

      ML: “I’m sure you’ll recognize it right away.”

    • beauty for ashes

      Is that American mustard and ketchup in front of him? What a wuss.

      • it’s a Hard Rock knock-off place


        • Juicer77

          Oh, ick. Get thee to a pub! Preferably one that serves CAMRA ales. Drop some coin where it will benefit the locals.

      • Juicer77

        Seriously! I have fallen in love with horseradish sauce.

        • beauty for ashes

          Oh, is that like what they sometimes serve in US with fried mushrooms? I love that. How about salad cream though Juicy? Not so much?

          • Juicer77

            Where I come from in the US a much milder version of horseradish sauce is served with shrimp (fried or chilled). The stuff here burns the inside of your nose! Excellent on a rare roast beef sandwich with carmelized onion sauce. Om nom nom… Salad cream is OK. The veggies here are so flavorful that I usually don’t put anything on them!

    • outraged

      don’t they look thrilled.

      • I think the main reason he keeps making movies is that he knows the Director will actually go out to a restaurant with him

        • outraged

          hhahahahaha. That is so pathetic.

      • aquaclara

        Gee, no big party at Saint Hill? I’m shocked.

    • Is he drinking mustard on the rocks?

      • Straight up — he can’t cut the mustard!

  • Bernie defeats Hilary, yay!

    edit: now with added gif

    • Robert Eckert

      New England is Bernie’s home turf. This is not as significant as it might appear. If Hillary does badly in South Carolina then we can sit up and take notice.

      • Doc M

        Totally agree! Hillary will get the nomination, unless something really unforeseen happens, and I can’t even imagine what. Btw, I’m no fan of Hillary, yet I can’t imagine her losing S.C.
        As for Trump, his days are numbered anyway.

  • Bradley Greenwood

    HCA doesn’t have much of a library.

  • mon elle

    OT: because laughing is best shared with friends

  • beauty for ashes
  • MaxSpaceman

    All the H E & R around here is enuf to rue the day.

    “I had to rue you
    It had to be true
    I wandered around and finally found
    Somebody who
    Could make me see blue
    Could make me rue you
    Or even be glad just to be sad
    Rue-ing on you

    Some others I’ve seen
    Make me scream, Spleen!
    Might never be cross
    Nor thrown for a loss
    But they wouldn’t rue
    For nobody else
    Gave me a pill
    For all your faults I rue you still
    It had to be you
    Wonderful you
    I had to rue you.”

  • Vaquera

    Have been on a road trip south and in that vein… an o/t musical dedication to my hometown….

  • Dave Reams

    I am curious what non Ron books are on the Hubbard College library shelf. I can only make out the Encyclopedia set and dictionnaries.

    • Mark Foster

      Tech(red) and Admin(green) volumes. “Tech” refers to the auditing procedures and “admin” refers to the policies governing all scientology organizations.

      • Susan B.

        How about books that Sea Org members read for pleasure? I remember Jenna Miscavige-Hill mentioning in her book that she was reading something, oh, but wait maybe it was a science fiction book. I’ll have to go back and flip through the book and find it

    • 0tessa

      Non LRon books are rare on Scientology library shelves. Most are dictionnaries like you stated. Probably some books on sales (of course!), like the one of Les Dane, and PR (Ries and Trout).

  • Dave Reams

    “Chef, Why do the call you chef ?”
    “I come from a long line of sauciers, we specialize in sauces. I roux the day I joined the Navy!”

  • Susan B.

    Sleep deprivation is a nightmare. It has contributed a great deal to the downfall of CO $. It’s one of the of dumbest and truly damaging upper level management choices and this story is a great example of how it comes back and bites them in the ass. I’m so glad Aaron escaped.

  • Cece

    “…if I didn’t go extend the STC line-up that there would be no delivery and there would be no income and the org would crash.”
    And it would be all your fault. I’m so glad you saw thru all the BS and made it out of there and good on saving your KRs. I took 8 bankers 16 foot high legal size records with me. As they became unimportant and in the way of living space I tossed them. I still have some AOLA FPs and Allocation forms in DOS which will be interesting some day. Every time I wade thru these old things I get a good feeling of how far I’ve come despite the loss of a perfectly good husband and 2 children. Thank you Arron for shedding light on the way things are now. I left June 1996 with the PAC masturbation mission and only got a glimpse in 04/05 when I attempted to receive 100hrs of NOTS. There is not a chance I would ever trust my eternity in the hands of those poor robotic lost souls. The auditing was terrible, waiting at the exams for the 3 swings was unbearable, fending off the IAS reges was horrible. There is no spirituality left in that place. Thanks for helping end the abuse.

  • Susan B.

    Micro protest failure. I got on Alan Colmes’ Fox Radio talk show Radio Graffiti during the last 5 minutes of the show but Alan wouldn’t let me finish my question of “Where is Shelly Miscavige?” He cut me off and said, “You can’t keep doing the same thing every night.” And yet the guy who keeps calling to say how much he likes his **vagina** (?) gets through at least twice a week. Go figure.

    • PerpetualOutflow

      Hahaha…so, “Where is Shelly Miscavige” is the new “Who is John Galt”?

      • richelieu jr

        Not really: “Where is Shelly Miscavige” is only four words, whereas “”Who is John Galt?” goes on for nearly 650,000 over 1,080 pages–

        and those are Ayn Rand pages– That’s more easily registered on the pain index or in dog hears than in simple pages.

  • seriouslyWTF

    Twitter fun: Refresh (hope it goes in the right order) Ugh.. I posted the wrong one.. and it is messed up now Okay.. looks okay now except the duplication….