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Pete Griffiths on the unbearable rightness of being Scientologists

On a recent post of Scientology’s success stories from Advance! magazine, Pete Griffiths spotted a name he recognized…

I see that Siobhan Ryan has reached the OTV rung on the ladder to total oblivion.

Poor girl.

I never really knew her other than that her name was on the official government paperwork making her responsible for the Scientology accounts, always at least a year late and also highly inaccurate. I knew of an amount that had been paid into the mission in a certain year and it never showed up in the accounts. Way to go you ethical beings of great integrity.


I was more acquainted with her husband Alan who I met at Saint Hill in 1987 while I was training to be an executive. He was pretty new to the subject as was I. We used to hang out at break times and drink coffee or smoke or whatever, and a few of us would stand around in a group discussing whatever we felt like but usually how wonder the tech was.

One particular day I was extolling the virtues of study tech and marveling at its simplicity. I mean really, if you don’t know the meaning of a word, look it up. During one such conversation Alan asked quite enthusiastically if I had ever tried speed reading. I had no idea what that was so asked him and it turns out it was exactly what it sounds like. You just skim over your material., he said. I asked, what about looking up words? He said you don’t do that.

I stated somewhat hesitantly that I wasn’t sure that was ethical or on-policy and he just shrugged it off. Fast forward to a few years ago on the streets of Dublin. I bumped into Alan and was trying to reach him and get him to wognite. I said, we always got along pretty well, why won’t you listen to what I have to say? I can save you time and money.

He replied with a sneer, “You tried to get me speed reading!”

I said, …but that was you!

He insisted that I had tried to get him speed reading and therefore I was always an SP. To this day the memory of this leaves me shaking my head in disbelief. He had somehow in true Scientologist fashion assumed control over matter, energy, space and time, by making it all up, twisting facts and believing in his version of events.

Poor guy.

— Pete Griffiths


Technology Cocktail

“In December of 1957 the first Clear was made by another than myself. This was the gain. This was the fruit of the years. Now we can have many clears. We can have thousands of clears. And if we can have that, we can have a civilization.” — L. Ron Hubbard, 1958




We first broke the news of the LAPD’s investigation of Scientology celebrity Danny Masterson on rape allegations in 2017, and we’ve been covering the story every step of the way since then. At this page we’ve collected our most important links as Danny faces a potential sentence of 45 years to life in prison. NOW WITH TRIAL INDEX.


THE PODCAST: How many have you heard?

[1] Marc Headley [2] Claire Headley [3] Jeffrey Augustine [4] Bruce Hines [5] Sunny Pereira [6] Pete Griffiths [7] Geoff Levin [8] Patty Moher [9] Marc Headley [10] Jefferson Hawkins [11] Michelle ‘Emma’ Ryan [12] Paulette Cooper [13] Jesse Prince [14] Mark Bunker [15] Jon Atack [16] Mirriam Francis [17] Bruce Hines on MSH

— SPECIAL: The best TV show on Scientology you never got to see

[1] Phil Jones [2] Derek Bloch [3] Carol Nyburg [4] Katrina Reyes [5] Jamie DeWolf

— The first Danny Masterson trial and beyond

[18] Trial special with Chris Shelton [19] Trial week one [20] Marc Headley on the spy in the hallway [21] Trial week two [22] Trial week three [23] Trial week four [24] Leah Remini on LAPD Corruption [25] Mike Rinder 2022 Thanksgiving Special [26] Jane Doe 4 (Tricia Vessey), Part One [27] Jane Doe 4 (Tricia Vessey), Part Two [28] Claire Headley on the trial [29] Tory Christman [30] Bruce Hines on spying [31] Karen de la Carriere [32] Ron Miscavige on Shelly Miscavige [33] Karen de la Carriere on the L’s [34] Mark Bunker on Miscavige hiding [35] Mark Plummer [36] Mark Ebner [37] Karen Pressley [38] Steve Cannane [39] Fredrick Brennan [40] Clarissa Adams [41] Louise Shekter [42] John Sweeney


Source Code


“The Romans were very kind; the early Christian was very, very cruel. So now we find out the Romans were very cruel and the early Christians were very kind. But the records don’t bear this out. Now, as far as survival is concerned, if you want to survive, I guess, be cruel. I suppose that’s the most short-term method of survival. But it’s not any long-term method of survival. But being kind and being ineffective, of course, is a fast way to the electric chair; it is a fast way to insolvency; it’s a fast way to bankruptcy of all kinds and descriptions; it’s a fast way to the death chamber and the cemetery. And more important to us, it is a fast way to oblivion on the whole track, being very kind.” — L. Ron Hubbard, June 15, 1961


Avast, Ye Mateys

“We have an overnight trip to our next port and arrive at 0700 hrs. Wake ups to be done at 0615 hrs so that ALL Condition I are on post by 0700, not just my Org Officer and I. A rapid turnout is expected. As it usually takes us more than an hour to enter, dock, neat up lines and secure to breakfast, Dept III must arrange to have coffee and rolls ready, at 0615 for Cond I to give ’em some vittles so they can lift hawsers and fenders. Have a good day.” — Lt. N.F. Starkey, Captain Apollo, June 15, 1971


Overheard in the FreeZone

“There is one other State of Being above OT – it is a True Static. So stay the course as things are about to change and all the hopes and dreams of what we once believed – in and with Scientology – are not only about to be realized but be surpassed.”


Past is Prologue

1998: NBC’s news program Dateline aired a story this week on Bob Minton, a critic of Scientology who is funding a variety of cases and opponents of the cult. From a transcript of the show: “BOB MINTON: The more I got involved, the more frightening the organization as a whole became to me. JOHN HOCKENBERRY: Are you nuts? BOB MINTON: A lot of people would question my insanity on that score. HOCKENBERRY: Do you have any evidence that they’re really evil and destructive? BOB MINTON: Yes. Shattered lives, broken families, mental fragility. VOICEOVER: Minton has funded lawsuits, rescued an anti-cult organization, given weary defendants and broken-down activists the means to fight on. To date, he’s handed out more than 1.7 million of his own dollars to some of Scientology’s harshest critics. HOCKENBERRY: That’s a lot of money. BOB MINTON: It is. But keep in mind that in this, in this battle with Scientology, I’m the little guy. Scientology are the big guys.”



Random Howdy

“My dad grew up dirt poor during the Depression and he would eat a jar of pig’s knuckles in one sitting as well as all kinds of other ungodly shit.”


Full Court Press: What we’re watching at the Underground Bunker

Criminal prosecutions:
Danny Masterson charged for raping three women: Found guilty on two counts on May 31, remanded to custody.
‘Lafayette Ronald Hubbard’ (a/k/a Justin Craig), aggravated assault, plus drug charges: Grand jury indictments include charges from an assault while in custody. Trial scheduled for August 15.
Rizza Islam, Medi-Cal fraud: Trial scheduled for June 26 in Los Angeles
David Gentile, GPB Capital, fraud.

Civil litigation:
Baxter, Baxter, and Paris v. Scientology, alleging labor trafficking: Forced to arbitration. Plaintiffs asking permission for interlocutory appeal.
Valerie Haney v. Scientology: Forced to ‘religious arbitration.’
Chrissie Bixler et al. v. Scientology and Danny Masterson: Appellate court removes requirement of arbitration on January 19, case remanded back to Superior Court. Stay in place at least through June 28.
Author Steve Cannane defamation trial: New trial ordered after appeals court overturned prior ruling.
Chiropractors Steve Peyroux and Brent Detelich, stem cell fraud: Lawsuit filed by the FTC and state of Georgia in August, now in discovery phase.



After the success of their double-Emmy-winning, three-season A&E series ‘Scientology and the Aftermath,’ Leah Remini and Mike Rinder continue the conversation on their podcast, ‘Scientology: Fair Game.’ We’ve created a landing page where you can hear all of the episodes so far.


An episode-by-episode guide to Leah Remini’s three-season, double-Emmy winning series that changed everything for Scientology watching. Originally aired from 2016 to 2019 on the A&E network, and now on Netflix.


Find your favorite Hubbardite celeb at this index page — or suggest someone to add to the list!

Other links: SCIENTOLOGY BLACK OPS: Tom Cruise and dirty tricks. Scientology’s Ideal Orgs, from one end of the planet to the other. Scientology’s sneaky front groups, spreading the good news about L. Ron Hubbard while pretending to benefit society. Scientology Lit: Books reviewed or excerpted in a weekly series. How many have you read?


[ONE year ago] Ukrainian refugees might think twice about Scientology offering ‘help’
[TWO years ago] What lessons from the Nxivm prosecution should Scientology watchers take?
[THREE years ago] DONE SIR: Scientology leader David Miscavige caught flattering himself for virus PR ploy
[FOUR years ago] Spend hundreds of thousands on Scientology, and the rain will part for you!
[FIVE years ago] First person: In Scientology, children are punished for being kids
[SIX years ago] Marty Rathbun, Victoria Britton has a question for you about Scientology and judges
[SEVEN years ago] Wacky scenes from Scientology’s ‘Battlefield Earth’ launch on Hollywood Boulevard
[EIGHT years ago] The Scientology spy who came in from the cold: Len Zinberg, who apologized to Paulette Cooper
[NINE years ago] Scientology Sunday Funnies: The Valley rocks as the fundraising rolls ever onward
[TEN years ago] OT Powers: Jon Atack on Scientology’s Promise to Make You Superhuman
[ELEVEN years ago] VIDEO: Watch Sacto Mayor and Former NBA Star Kevin Johnson Suck Up to Scientology
[TWELVE years ago] Inside Scientology Promises a Lot, and Delivers


Scientology disconnection, a reminder

Bernie Headley (1952-2019) did not see his daughter Stephanie in his final 5,667 days.
Valerie Haney has not seen her mother Lynne in 3,061 days.
Katrina Reyes has not seen her mother Yelena in 3,566 days
Sylvia Wagner DeWall has not seen her brother Randy in 3,116 days.
Brian Sheen has not seen his grandson Leo in 2,106 days.
Geoff Levin has not seen his son Collin and daughter Savannah in 1,997 days.
Christie Collbran has not seen her mother Liz King in 5,301 days.
Clarissa Adams has not seen her parents Walter and Irmin Huber in 3,172 days.
Doug Kramer has not seen his parents Linda and Norm in 2,277 days.
Jamie Sorrentini Lugli has not seen her father Irving in 4,724 days.
Quailynn McDaniel has not seen her brother Sean in 4,066 days.
Dylan Gill has not seen his father Russell in 12,632 days.
Melissa Paris has not seen her father Jean-Francois in 8,551 days.
Valeska Paris has not seen her brother Raphael in 4,718 days.
Mirriam Francis has not seen her brother Ben in 4,300 days.
Claudio and Renata Lugli have not seen their son Flavio in 4,561 days.
Sara Goldberg has not seen her daughter Ashley in 3,597 days.
Lori Hodgson has not seen her son Jeremy and daughter Jessica in 3,313 days.
Marie Bilheimer has not seen her mother June in 2,877 days.
Julian Wain has not seen his brother Joseph or mother Susan in 1,192 days.
Charley Updegrove has not seen his son Toby in 2,367 days.
Joe Reaiche has not seen his daughter Alanna Masterson in 6,918 days
Derek Bloch has not seen his father Darren in 4,049 days.
Cindy Plahuta has not seen her daughter Kara in 4,387 days.
Roger Weller has not seen his daughter Alyssa in 9,242 days.
Claire Headley has not seen her mother Gen in 4,361 days.
Ramana Dienes-Browning has not seen her mother Jancis in 2,717 days.
Mike Rinder has not seen his son Benjamin and daughter Taryn in 7,020 days.
Brian Sheen has not seen his daughter Spring in 3,126 days.
Skip Young has not seen his daughters Megan and Alexis in 3,524 days.
Mary Kahn has not seen her son Sammy in 3,400 days.
Lois Reisdorf has not seen her son Craig in 2,983 days.
Phil and Willie Jones have not seen their son Mike and daughter Emily in 3,478 days.
Mary Jane Barry has not seen her daughter Samantha in 3,732 days.
Kate Bornstein has not seen her daughter Jessica in 14,841 days.


Posted by Tony Ortega on June 15, 2023 at 07:00

E-mail tips to tonyo94 AT gmail DOT com or follow us on Twitter. We also post updates at our Facebook author page. After every new story we send out an alert to our e-mail list and our FB page.

Our new book with Paulette Cooper, Battlefield Scientology: Exposing L. Ron Hubbard’s dangerous ‘religion’ is now on sale at Amazon in paperback and Kindle formats. Our book about Paulette, The Unbreakable Miss Lovely: How the Church of Scientology tried to destroy Paulette Cooper, is on sale at Amazon in paperback, Kindle, and audiobook versions. We’ve posted photographs of Paulette and scenes from her life at a separate location. Reader Sookie put together a complete index. More information can also be found at the book’s dedicated page.

The Best of the Underground Bunker, 1995-2022 Just starting out here? We’ve picked out the most important stories we’ve covered here at the Underground Bunker (2012-2022), The Village Voice (2008-2012), New Times Los Angeles (1999-2002) and the Phoenix New Times (1995-1999)

Other links: BLOGGING DIANETICS: Reading Scientology’s founding text cover to cover | UP THE BRIDGE: Claire Headley and Bruce Hines train us as Scientologists | GETTING OUR ETHICS IN: Jefferson Hawkins explains Scientology’s system of justice | SCIENTOLOGY MYTHBUSTING: Historian Jon Atack discusses key Scientology concepts | Shelly Miscavige, 15 years gone | The Lisa McPherson story told in real time | The Cathriona White stories | The Leah Remini ‘Knowledge Reports’ | Hear audio of a Scientology excommunication | Scientology’s little day care of horrors | Whatever happened to Steve Fishman? | Felony charges for Scientology’s drug rehab scam | Why Scientology digs bomb-proof vaults in the desert | PZ Myers reads L. Ron Hubbard’s “A History of Man” | Scientology’s Master Spies | The mystery of the richest Scientologist and his wayward sons | Scientology’s shocking mistreatment of the mentally ill | The Underground Bunker’s Official Theme Song | The Underground Bunker FAQ

Watch our short videos that explain Scientology’s controversies in three minutes or less…

Check your whale level at our dedicated page for status updates, or join us at the Underground Bunker’s Facebook discussion group for more frivolity.

Our non-Scientology stories: Robert Burnham Jr., the man who inscribed the universe | Notorious alt-right inspiration Kevin MacDonald and his theories about Jewish DNA | The selling of the “Phoenix Lights” | Astronomer Harlow Shapley‘s FBI file | Sex, spies, and local TV news | Battling Babe-Hounds: Ross Jeffries v. R. Don Steele


Tony Ortega at The Daily Beast


Tony Ortega at Rolling Stone


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