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Scientology returns to ‘Christmas’ implant in earnest: L. Ron is the reason for the season!

Scientology has a long and complex relationship with the R6 Christianity implant that each of us thetans struggles with thanks to the galactic warlord Xenu.

According to Scientology scripture, the story of Christianity (including the birth of Jesus) never actually occurred, it’s all an “implant” in our heads that Xenu put there when he committed a massive genocide on this planet 75 million years ago.

However, even though Scientology founder L. Ron Hubbard belittled Christianity in his lectures, he knew a good thing when he saw it, and so in the early 1970s his Los Angeles followers began co-opting Christmas by putting a big tree up in Hollywood.

“Winter Wonderland” they called it, and it became a staple of Scientology’s outreach in LaLaLand. A few years ago, however, Winter Wonderland setups in LA and Florida seemed to wane as Scientology suffered an onslaught of bad press, and then the pandemic hit. But this year, it appears that Winter Wonderland is back in a big way.


At least that’s what Scientology apparently hoped when it trotted out one of its most reliable celebrities, actress Erika Christensen, who mugged with the giant fir Scientology was installing last week.

Sadly, the only TV news that seemed interested was the local Univision affiliate.


But just like old times, the honeypot operation did ensnare a city councilman, in this case Mitch O’Farrell, who like plenty of LA politicians before him, showed up for the photo opp.


Speaking of Spanish language media, Scientology’s Valley Ideal Org gave a special humanitarian of the year award to Guillermo Ahumada for his work as the “Chief of Chaplains of Professional Chaplains Inc.”

That’s the kind of “interfaith” squishiness that Scientology loves. But Ahumada also happens to be the managing editor of Estrella’s KRCA-TV in Burbank.



According to Scientology’s press release, Ahumada praised L. Ron Hubbard as a leader whose “legacy is a beacon of light and guidance, and will benefit countless generations.”

Isn’t it fun to learn how much Scientology is cozying up to the Spanish language media in L.A.? Surely it will pay off big some day.

Tonight, for example, is the annual Hollywood Christmas Parade, and Scientology is again a sponsor, which gives the church plenty of opportunity for “safepointing” local “opinion leaders.”


Actual caption from John Goodwin, Scientology Sea Org member and president of Galaxy Press: “Emily and I just attended the press conference for the Hollywood Christmas Parade taking place the Sunday after Thanksgiving. We attended as parade sponsors as well as being the green room for the parade celebrity attendees. This was taken in front of the Dolby Theatre in Hollywood. Here we are with representatives from the US Marine Corps, Bill Lomas (green jacket), parade host Laura McKenzie, Kate Linder, LA City Councilmember Mitch O’Farrell, LA Police Captain Brent McGuyre, and many more.”

The green room for parade celebrities! What an opportunity for Scientology schmoozing.

And speaking of Galaxy Press, how exciting for L. Ron Hubbard’s publisher to announce a partnership with the University of Toronto Press!

John Goodwin, President of Galaxy Press, from his office in Los Angeles, California, stated, “We created Galaxy Press in 2002 to oversee the publication and distribution of Mr. Hubbard’s works. We have had considerable success working with Canadian booksellers, and we now look forward to making Mr. Hubbard’s works available through our newly created relationship with the University of Toronto Press.”

Jason Farrell, Vice President of Distribution at University of Toronto Press, announced that “UTP is pleased to distribute the works of Galaxy Press to the Canadian market.” He went on, “We look forward to a long and productive relationship with Galaxy Press.”



Hip, hip, hooray! There’s so much to celebrate this Christmas Implant season. And with the University of Toronto’s help, this planet will be cleared in no time!


Bonus items from our tipsters

Christmastime is here! Bring yer wallet!



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Source Code


“Be the space of your body. The space of this room. The space of your body. The space of this room. Be the space of your body. The space of this room. The space of your body. The space of the building. The space of your body. The space of the building. The space of your body. The space of the building. The space of your body. The space of this building. The space of your body. The space of this building. The space of your body. The space of Camden. The space of your body. The space of Camden. The space of your body. The space of Camden. The space of your body. The space of Philadelphia. The space of your body. The space of Philadelphia. The space of your body. Space of Philadelphia. Space of your body. Space of Philadelphia. Space of New York. Space of your body.” — L. Ron Hubbard, November 28, 1953


Avast, Ye Mateys

“MISUNDERSTOODS: I wrote a piece in the OOD yesterday about Nixon’s misunderstoods. I hope no one accumulated any misunderstood words reading it. I found ‘hilarity’ in the first sentence wasn’t known. It means ‘high amusement,’ or ‘boisterous merriment’.” — The Commodore, November 28, 1971


Overheard in the FreeZone

“People need to realize why Scientology isn’t making as many OTs as it should. The purif cannot handle modern problems, Scientology needs to be used in conjunction with expert naturopaths etc to combat modern weapons released on us. I don’t even think we can get OT while we are busy trying to just remain not retarded. Fluoride’s bad effects take awhile to kick in and also I think they combine with vaccines to degrade us, these things take years of accumulation and then it gets passed on to kids.”


Past is Prologue

2000: Former Scientologist Michael Pattinson reported that Scientology unsuccessfully attempted to block his application for a green card to allow him to stay in the United States. “During an interview with the INS last December I asked the official if there were any documents in my INS file that were not placed there by myself or my attorney. He showed us the file and there were documents inserted in there from Moxon and Kobrin. The documents were the false spin on my character. One was from the lawsuit from the staff member who sued me as a reprisal for me suing the cult management. The other document was from a person in Florida. This person was paid $2,000 to cheat the INS by being paid for marrying a Mexican woman called Anna who needed a husband to avoid getting deported. So this guy whose documents are supposed to stop me getting my INS green card is therefore probably guilty of INS fraud himself. My attorney then sued the INS to force them to process my approved application. In the end after much wrangling in the courts we won the action under a settlement in my favor. I now have US permanent residency despite the fair game psychosis of the goons of the criminal cult of Scientology.”



Random Howdy

“Every Thanksgiving my Dad would get in a bad mood and start saying stuff like the Native Americans should have slaughtered the pilgrims as soon as they landed.”


Full Court Press: What we’re watching at the Underground Bunker

Criminal prosecutions:
Danny Masterson charged for raping three women: Next hearing set for February 8. Trial scheduled for August 29, 2022.
‘Lafayette Ronald Hubbard’ (a/k/a Justin Craig), false imprisonment, aggravated assault, plus drug charges: Hearing scheduled for November 30.
Jay and Jeff Spina, Medicare fraud: Jay sentenced to 9 years in prison. Jeff’s sentencing to be scheduled.
Hanan and Rizza Islam and other family members, Medi-Cal fraud: Pretrial conference December 17 in Los Angeles
David Gentile, GPB Capital, fraud: Next pretrial conference set for February 11.
Joseph ‘Ben’ Barton, Medicare fraud: Pleaded guilty, awaiting sentencing.

Civil litigation:
Luis and Rocio Garcia v. Scientology: Eleventh Circuit affirmed ruling granting Scientology’s motion for arbitration. Garcias considering next move.
Valerie Haney v. Scientology: Forced to ‘religious arbitration.’ US Supreme Court denied Valerie’s petition Oct 4.
Chrissie Bixler et al. v. Scientology and Danny Masterson: California Supreme Court granted review on May 26 and asked the Second Appellate Division to direct Judge Steven Kleifield to show cause why he granted Scientology’s motion for arbitration. Oral arguments held November 2, awaiting a ruling.
Matt and Kathy Feschbach tax debt: Eleventh Circuit ruled on Sept 9, 2020 that Feshbachs can’t discharge IRS debt in bankruptcy. Dec 17: Feshbachs sign court judgment obliging them to pay entire $3.674 million tax debt, plus interest from Nov 19.
Brian Statler Sr v. City of Inglewood: Third amended complaint filed, trial set for June 28, 2022.
Author Steve Cannane defamation trial: Trial concluded, Cannane victorious, awarded court costs. Case appealed on Dec 23. Appeal hearing held Aug 23-27. Awaiting a ruling.



We first broke the news of the LAPD’s investigation of Scientology celebrity Danny Masterson on rape allegations in 2017, and we’ve been covering the story every step of the way since then. At this page we’ve collected our most important links, including our four days in Los Angeles covering the preliminary hearing and its ruling, which has Danny facing trial and the potential sentence of 45 years to life in prison.


After the success of their double-Emmy-winning, three-season A&E series ‘Scientology and the Aftermath,’ Leah Remini and Mike Rinder continue the conversation on their podcast, ‘Scientology: Fair Game.’ We’ve created a landing page where you can hear all of the episodes so far.


An episode-by-episode guide to Leah Remini’s three-season, double-Emmy winning series that changed everything for Scientology watching. Originally aired from 2016 to 2019 on the A&E network, and now on Netflix.


Find your favorite Hubbardite celeb at this index page — or suggest someone to add to the list!

Other links: SCIENTOLOGY BLACK OPS: Tom Cruise and dirty tricks. Scientology’s Ideal Orgs, from one end of the planet to the other. Scientology’s sneaky front groups, spreading the good news about L. Ron Hubbard while pretending to benefit society. Scientology Lit: Books reviewed or excerpted in a weekly series. How many have you read?


[ONE year ago] Chris Shelton: What it’s like to spy for Scientology’s Office of Special Affairs
[TWO years ago] On this Thanksgiving, we’re thankful again for people we will never forget
[THREE years ago] Scientology responds to Leah Remini’s season premiere with smeariest smear video ever
[FOUR years ago] Ugh. We just found a troubling L. Ron Hubbard Scientology lecture about little boys and sex.
[FIVE years ago] How Liz Gale came to disconnect from her own mother, Scientology style
[SIX years ago] Scientology’s apocalyptic ‘expansion’: A hint at the real story in a Brighton shiny moment
[SEVEN years ago] The richest Scientologists in the world get a new trophy for donating another pile of cash!
[EIGHT years ago] Jefferson Hawkins Explains the Ethics of Scientology’s ‘Suppressive Person’
[NINE years ago] More McPherson Cover-Up Corroboration: “I Watched Them Drain $20 Million In Reserves”
[TEN years ago] Scientology Held Woman Aboard the Freewinds for 12 Years Against Her Will: Aussie TV


Scientology disconnection, a reminder

Bernie Headley (1952-2019) did not see his daughter Stephanie in his final 5,667 days.
Valerie Haney has not seen her mother Lynne in 2,498 days.
Katrina Reyes has not seen her mother Yelena in 3,003 days
Sylvia Wagner DeWall has not seen her brother Randy in 2,523 days.
Brian Sheen has not seen his grandson Leo in 1,543 days.
Geoff Levin has not seen his son Collin and daughter Savannah in 1,434 days.
Christie Collbran has not seen her mother Liz King in 4,741 days.
Clarissa Adams has not seen her parents Walter and Irmin Huber in 2,609 days.
Carol Nyburg has not seen her daughter Nancy in 3,383 days.
Doug Kramer has not seen his parents Linda and Norm in 1,713 days.
Jamie Sorrentini Lugli has not seen her father Irving in 4,187 days.
Quailynn McDaniel has not seen her brother Sean in 3,503 days.
Dylan Gill has not seen his father Russell in 12,069 days.
Melissa Paris has not seen her father Jean-Francois in 7,988 days.
Valeska Paris has not seen her brother Raphael in 4,156 days.
Mirriam Francis has not seen her brother Ben in 3,737 days.
Claudio and Renata Lugli have not seen their son Flavio in 3,998 days.
Sara Goldberg has not seen her daughter Ashley in 3,034 days.
Lori Hodgson has not seen her son Jeremy and daughter Jessica in 2,749 days.
Marie Bilheimer has not seen her mother June in 2,274 days.
Julian Wain has not seen his brother Joseph or mother Susan in 629 days.
Charley Updegrove has not seen his son Toby in 1,804 days.
Joe Reaiche has not seen his daughter Alanna Masterson in 6,355 days
Derek Bloch has not seen his father Darren in 3,504 days.
Cindy Plahuta has not seen her daughter Kara in 3,824 days.
Roger Weller has not seen his daughter Alyssa in 8,679 days.
Claire Headley has not seen her mother Gen in 3,798 days.
Ramana Dienes-Browning has not seen her mother Jancis in 2,154 days.
Mike Rinder has not seen his son Benjamin and daughter Taryn in 6,457 days.
Brian Sheen has not seen his daughter Spring in 2,563 days.
Skip Young has not seen his daughters Megan and Alexis in 2,961 days.
Mary Kahn has not seen her son Sammy in 2,837 days.
Lois Reisdorf has not seen her son Craig in 2,420 days.
Phil and Willie Jones have not seen their son Mike and daughter Emily in 2,915 days.
Mary Jane Barry has not seen her daughter Samantha in 3,169 days.
Kate Bornstein has not seen her daughter Jessica in 14,278 days.


Posted by Tony Ortega on November 28, 2021 at 07:00

E-mail tips to tonyo94 AT gmail DOT com or follow us on Twitter. We also post updates at our Facebook author page. After every new story we send out an alert to our e-mail list and our FB page.

Our new book with Paulette Cooper, Battlefield Scientology: Exposing L. Ron Hubbard’s dangerous ‘religion’ is now on sale at Amazon in paperback and Kindle formats. Our book about Paulette, The Unbreakable Miss Lovely: How the Church of Scientology tried to destroy Paulette Cooper, is on sale at Amazon in paperback, Kindle, and audiobook versions. We’ve posted photographs of Paulette and scenes from her life at a separate location. Reader Sookie put together a complete index. More information can also be found at the book’s dedicated page.

The Best of the Underground Bunker, 1995-2020 Just starting out here? We’ve picked out the most important stories we’ve covered here at the Underground Bunker (2012-2020), The Village Voice (2008-2012), New Times Los Angeles (1999-2002) and the Phoenix New Times (1995-1999)

Other links: BLOGGING DIANETICS: Reading Scientology’s founding text cover to cover | UP THE BRIDGE: Claire Headley and Bruce Hines train us as Scientologists | GETTING OUR ETHICS IN: Jefferson Hawkins explains Scientology’s system of justice | SCIENTOLOGY MYTHBUSTING: Historian Jon Atack discusses key Scientology concepts | Shelly Miscavige, 15 years gone | The Lisa McPherson story told in real time | The Cathriona White stories | The Leah Remini ‘Knowledge Reports’ | Hear audio of a Scientology excommunication | Scientology’s little day care of horrors | Whatever happened to Steve Fishman? | Felony charges for Scientology’s drug rehab scam | Why Scientology digs bomb-proof vaults in the desert | PZ Myers reads L. Ron Hubbard’s “A History of Man” | Scientology’s Master Spies | The mystery of the richest Scientologist and his wayward sons | Scientology’s shocking mistreatment of the mentally ill | The Underground Bunker’s Official Theme Song | The Underground Bunker FAQ

Watch our short videos that explain Scientology’s controversies in three minutes or less…

Check your whale level at our dedicated page for status updates, or join us at the Underground Bunker’s Facebook discussion group for more frivolity.

Our non-Scientology stories: Robert Burnham Jr., the man who inscribed the universe | Notorious alt-right inspiration Kevin MacDonald and his theories about Jewish DNA | The selling of the “Phoenix Lights” | Astronomer Harlow Shapley‘s FBI file | Sex, spies, and local TV news | Battling Babe-Hounds: Ross Jeffries v. R. Don Steele


Tony Ortega at The Daily Beast


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