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Scientology still can’t believe you haven’t become cool enough to save the planet

 
TODAY AT SUBSTACK: If you’ve signed up for free emails at Substack, you will receive today’s feature story at your inbox: Yesterday we noted that Scientologists in church propaganda tend to be in their dotage. But today’s mailer reminds us that Scientology’s own idea of itself is very different. This is the outfit, after all, that printed up T-shirts with the slogan ‘Coolest Religion on Earth.’ [What is this Substack thing, anyway?]

 
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Technology Cocktail

“Sanity is truth. Truth is sanity. The road to truth is begun with honesty. There was the story of the “man who sold his soul for a mess of pottage” (soup). We could parallel this with the Auditor who sold his case gain for a mess of false stats. An honest clean job and an honest clean line are the milestones of the road to truth.” — L. Ron Hubbard, 1972

 
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THE PROSECUTION OF DANNY MASTERSON

We first broke the news of the LAPD’s investigation of Scientology celebrity Danny Masterson on rape allegations in 2017, and we’ve been covering the story every step of the way since then. At this page we’ve collected our most important links as Danny faces a potential sentence of 45 years to life in prison. NOW WITH TRIAL INDEX.

 
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THE PODCAST: How many have you heard?

[1] Marc Headley [2] Claire Headley [3] Jeffrey Augustine [4] Bruce Hines [5] Sunny Pereira [6] Pete Griffiths [7] Geoff Levin [8] Patty Moher [9] Marc Headley [10] Jefferson Hawkins [11] Michelle ‘Emma’ Ryan [12] Paulette Cooper [13] Jesse Prince [14] Mark Bunker [15] Jon Atack [16] Mirriam Francis [17] Bruce Hines on MSH

— SPECIAL: The best TV show on Scientology you never got to see

[1] Phil Jones [2] Derek Bloch [3] Carol Nyburg [4] Katrina Reyes [5] Jamie DeWolf

— The first Danny Masterson trial and beyond

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[18] Trial special with Chris Shelton [19] Trial week one [20] Marc Headley on the spy in the hallway [21] Trial week two [22] Trial week three [23] Trial week four [24] Leah Remini on LAPD Corruption [25] Mike Rinder 2022 Thanksgiving Special [26] Jane Doe 4 (Tricia Vessey), Part One [27] Jane Doe 4 (Tricia Vessey), Part Two [28] Claire Headley on the trial [29] Tory Christman [30] Bruce Hines on spying [31] Karen de la Carriere [32] Ron Miscavige on Shelly Miscavige [33] Karen de la Carriere on the L’s [34] Mark Bunker on Miscavige hiding [35] Mark Plummer [36] Mark Ebner [37] Karen Pressley [38] Steve Cannane [39] Fredrick Brennan [40] Clarissa Adams [41] Louise Shekter [42] John Sweeney [43] Tory Christman [44] Kate Bornstein [45] Christian Stolte [46] Mark Bunker [47] Jon Atack [48] Luke Y. Thompson [49] Mark Ebner [50] Bruce Hines [51] Spanky Taylor and Karen Pressley [51] Geoff and Robbie Levin [52] Sands Hall [53] Jonny Jacobsen [54] Sandy Holeman [55] Mark Bunker [56] Trish and Liz Conley [57] Trish Conley [58] Alex Barnes-Ross [59] Alex Barnes-Ross [60] Alex Barnes-Ross [61] Alex Barnes-Ross [62] Alex Barnes-Ross [63] Alex Barnes-Ross [64] Tory Christman [65] Tammy Synovec [66] Dennis Erlich [67] Alex Barnes-Ross [68] Valerie Ross [69] Kat in Austin [70] Mark Bunker [71] Phil Jones

 
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Source Code

“The only other thing I could tell that you really need to know about this meter is, when it’s all the way up to the vicinity of 6.0 or even into the black, you’re reading a thetan who believes he is dead. Completely aside from the theta bop, these are the readings of a body if it were dead: But the thetan believes he’s dead up that high. I learned this from plants. When plants think they’re dead, man, they rise right up there and there they are. And a plant can conceive that it’s dead long before it departs. It says, ‘I’m dead,’ goes right on up here to 6.0. After that, you get no needle motion. You get nothing.” — L. Ron Hubbard, November 16, 1959

 
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Avast, Ye Mateys

“You know, I get an idea of what it must be like for the Space Command Vessel ‘Astra’ to land amongst the Ooglie-Booglies and try to explain their perfectly innocent but super modern procedures for measuring gravity and communicating. They turn on an intercomm and the Ooglie-Booglies go into terror rumours that the Astra keeps live men in little boxes! Even staid old England has it that we deal in black magic! Certainly anything that works as fast as our tech and admin MUST be magical! REASSURANCE is the keynote of showing anyone around this ship. Show them the fire dectors, the gyro room, the electro-log, the two radars, where they are on the chart, how lifeboats work, copies of the SWPB. Feed them well, give them lots of drinks. Whoever is in charge of the guests should be inventive of things to interest them and be REASSURING, noting and cheering up any misunderstoods. Make good friends out of the guests.” — The Commodore, November 16, 1969

 
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Overheard in the FreeZone

“Regarding the FBI who like the IRS and the FDA along with their controlled media are just tools used by various vested interests who consider actual Scientology a threat to their monopoly. Seems they have no objection to what since 1993 has been called ‘the Scientology Religion’ which is based on meaning in a derivative sense as in squirrel ‘the works of L Ron Hubbard’ which is probably why they don’t get all hot and bothered when someone like Mike keeps bleating for an investigation of some kind of the hen house by the fox etc. It sort of emphasized the point that as Ron says there is no other hope but ourselves in straightening up this mess.”

 

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Past is Prologue

2000: An Attendance estimate and other details from the Lisa McPherson Trust benefit held in Clearwater were posted to a.r.s this week by the concert organizers. “We would guesstimate that between 300 and 400 people attended the event. And this does not count the PI’s and Scientologists who only listened from the parking lot or while cruising past. Earlier in the day the event was modestly attended. Later into the night the club was quite full. People came and went all day long, some leaving earlier and returning later in the evening. We feel that the event was a success on all levels, as its primary purpose was to educate the public about the Lisa McPherson Trust. The local press and radio coverage that featured the event and the emcee, Jamie Kennedy. We owe a special thanks to Bubba at 98 Rock for the great time on his show, on the highest rated radio station in the Tampa Bay area.”

 
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Random Howdy

“My wife used to say the reason I was a such a morbid negative weirdo was because of all the horrible stories my dad use to tell me about Korea and WWII and all the other mondo cane shit he saw during his time in the merchant marines. I think she may have been right.”

 
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Full Court Press: What we’re watching at the Underground Bunker

Criminal prosecutions:
Danny Masterson charged for raping three women: Found guilty on two counts on May 31, remanded to custody. Sentenced to 30 years to life on Sep 7, 2023.
‘Lafayette Ronald Hubbard’ (a/k/a Justin Craig), aggravated assault, plus drug charges: Grand jury indictments include charges from an assault while in custody. Next pretrial hearing November 15.
David Gentile, GPB Capital, fraud.

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Civil litigation:
Leah Remini v. Scientology, alleging ‘Fair Game’ harassment and defamation: Some defamation claims were removed by Judge Hammock. Leah seeking to amend her complaint.
Baxter, Baxter, and Paris v. Scientology, alleging labor trafficking: Forced to arbitration.
Valerie Haney v. Scientology: Forced to ‘religious arbitration.’
Chrissie Bixler et al. v. Scientology and Danny Masterson: motion to file new complaint, hearing on May 29.
Jane Doe 1 v. Scientology, David Miscavige, and Gavin Potter: Case unsealed and second amended complaint filed. Scientology moves for religious arbitration, on hold until appeal over new judge heard.
Chiropractors Steve Peyroux and Brent Detelich, stem cell fraud: Ordered to mediation.

 
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SCIENTOLOGY: FAIR GAME

After the success of their double-Emmy-winning, three-season A&E series ‘Scientology and the Aftermath,’ Leah Remini and Mike Rinder continue the conversation on their podcast, ‘Scientology: Fair Game.’ We’ve created a landing page where you can hear all of the episodes so far.

LEAH REMINI: SCIENTOLOGY AND THE AFTERMATH

An episode-by-episode guide to Leah Remini’s three-season, double-Emmy winning series that changed everything for Scientology watching. Originally aired from 2016 to 2019 on the A&E network, and now on Netflix.

SCIENTOLOGY’S CELEBRITIES, from A to Z

Find your favorite Hubbardite celeb at this index page — or suggest someone to add to the list!

 
Other links: SCIENTOLOGY BLACK OPS: Tom Cruise and dirty tricks. Scientology’s Ideal Orgs, from one end of the planet to the other. Scientology’s sneaky front groups, spreading the good news about L. Ron Hubbard while pretending to benefit society. Scientology Lit: Books reviewed or excerpted in a weekly series. How many have you read?

 
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THE WHOLE TRACK

[ONE year ago] Hear the threats that an Alabama man pleaded guilty for sending to Mark Bunker
[TWO years ago] And now we wait: Jury deliberations in the Danny Masterson trial
[THREE years ago] How do we know the ‘Chase Wave’ happened? ‘Aftermath’ guest Mark Fladd: ‘I was part of it’
[FOUR years ago] Judge in Danny Masterson lawsuit doubts Scientology ‘arbitration,’ sets hearing
[FIVE years ago] Scientology banned his book and trashed him as an apostate. Here’s his full-throated reply!
[SIX years ago] Scientology’s ‘Super Power’ poster boy gets dunked on by yet another irked judge
[SEVEN years ago] How Pete Griffiths sued a Scientologist and ended up being vilified by former friends
[EIGHT years ago] Scientology’s websites try a little too hard to convince you that all is right in crazy town
[NINE years ago] Lisa McPherson in Orlando: What her hotel roommate witnessed, and the Slaughter rule
[TEN years ago] Sunday Funnies: Get yer boots on for some Scientology line dancing in Austin!
[ELEVEN years ago] Jon Atack: Did Mary Sue Hubbard Doubt Scientology’s Key Experience?

 
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Scientology disconnection, a reminder

Bernie Headley (1952-2019) did not see his daughter Stephanie in his final 5,667 days.
Joe Reaiche (1958-2024) did not see his daughter Alanna Masterson in his final 6,999 days.

Tammy Synovec has not seen her daughter Julia in 3,085 days.
Valerie Haney has not seen her mother Lynne in 3,580 days.
Katrina Reyes has not seen her mother Yelena in 4,095 days
Sylvia Wagner DeWall has not seen her brother Randy in 3,645 days.
Brian Sheen has not seen his grandson Leo in 2,635 days.
Klaus Büchele has not seen his daughter Jasmin in 5,021 days.
Geoff Levin has not seen his son Collin and daughter Savannah in 2,516 days.
Christie Collbran has not seen her mother Liz King in 5,820 days.
Clarissa Adams has not seen her parents Walter and Irmin Huber in 3,691 days.
Jamie Sorrentini Lugli has not seen her father Irving in 5,243 days.
Quailynn McDaniel has not seen her brother Sean in 4,584 days.
Dylan Gill has not seen his father Russell in 13,151 days.
Melissa Paris has not seen her father Jean-Francois in 9,070 days.
Valeska Paris has not seen her brother Raphael in 5,238 days.
Mirriam Francis has not seen her brother Ben in 4,820 days.
Claudio and Renata Lugli have not seen their son Flavio in 5,080 days.
Sara Goldberg has not seen her daughter Ashley in 4,116 days.
Lori Hodgson has not seen her son Jeremy and daughter Jessica in 3,832 days.
Marie Bilheimer has not seen her mother June in 3,396 days.
Julian Wain has not seen his brother Joseph or mother Susan in 1,711 days.
Charley Updegrove has not seen his son Toby in 2,886 days.
Derek Bloch has not seen his father Darren in 4,568 days.
Cindy Plahuta has not seen her daughter Kara in 4,905 days.
Roger Weller has not seen his daughter Alyssa in 9,759 days.
Claire Headley has not seen her mother Gen in 4,874 days.
Ramana Dienes-Browning has not seen her mother Jancis in 3,236 days.
Mike Rinder has not seen his son Benjamin and daughter Taryn in 7,539 days.
Brian Sheen has not seen his daughter Spring in 3,645 days.
Skip Young has not seen his daughters Megan and Alexis in 4,043 days.
Mary Kahn has not seen her son Sammy in 3,919 days.
Lois Reisdorf has not seen her son Craig in 3,484 days.
Phil and Willie Jones have not seen their son Mike and daughter Emily in 3,995 days.
Mary Jane Barry has not seen her daughter Samantha in 4,251 days.
Kate Bornstein has not seen her daughter Jessica in 15,359 days.

 
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Posted by Tony Ortega on November 16, 2024 at 07:00

E-mail tips to tonyo94 AT gmail DOT com or follow us on Twitter. We also post updates at our Facebook author page. After every new story we send out an alert to our e-mail list and our FB page.

Our new book with Paulette Cooper, Battlefield Scientology: Exposing L. Ron Hubbard’s dangerous ‘religion’ is now on sale at Amazon in paperback and Kindle formats. Our book about Paulette, The Unbreakable Miss Lovely: How the Church of Scientology tried to destroy Paulette Cooper, is on sale at Amazon in paperback, Kindle, and audiobook versions. We’ve posted photographs of Paulette and scenes from her life at a separate location. Reader Sookie put together a complete index. More information can also be found at the book’s dedicated page.

The Best of the Underground Bunker, 1995-2023 Just starting out here? We’ve picked out the most important stories we’ve covered here at the Underground Bunker (2012-2023), The Village Voice (2008-2012), New Times Los Angeles (1999-2002) and the Phoenix New Times (1995-1999)

Other links: BLOGGING DIANETICS: Reading Scientology’s founding text cover to cover | UP THE BRIDGE: Claire Headley and Bruce Hines train us as Scientologists | GETTING OUR ETHICS IN: Jefferson Hawkins explains Scientology’s system of justice | SCIENTOLOGY MYTHBUSTING: Historian Jon Atack discusses key Scientology concepts | Shelly Miscavige, 15 years gone | The Lisa McPherson story told in real time | The Cathriona White stories | The Leah Remini ‘Knowledge Reports’ | Hear audio of a Scientology excommunication | Scientology’s little day care of horrors | Whatever happened to Steve Fishman? | Felony charges for Scientology’s drug rehab scam | Why Scientology digs bomb-proof vaults in the desert | PZ Myers reads L. Ron Hubbard’s “A History of Man” | Scientology’s Master Spies | The mystery of the richest Scientologist and his wayward sons | Scientology’s shocking mistreatment of the mentally ill | The Underground Bunker’s Official Theme Song | The Underground Bunker FAQ

Watch our short videos that explain Scientology’s controversies in three minutes or less…

Check your whale level at our dedicated page for status updates, or join us at the Underground Bunker’s Facebook discussion group for more frivolity.

Our non-Scientology stories: Robert Burnham Jr., the man who inscribed the universe | Notorious alt-right inspiration Kevin MacDonald and his theories about Jewish DNA | The selling of the “Phoenix Lights” | Astronomer Harlow Shapley‘s FBI file | Sex, spies, and local TV news | Battling Babe-Hounds: Ross Jeffries v. R. Don Steele

 

Tony Ortega at The Daily Beast

 

Tony Ortega at Rolling Stone

 

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