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David Miscavige is 64 today, and what a gift Scientology cooked up for him!

TODAY AT SUBSTACK: If you’ve signed up for free emails at Substack, you will receive today’s feature story at your inbox: Over the years, on Scientology leader David Miscavige’s birthday, we have sought input from people who worked for him. But this year, as Miscavige reaches 64, we really couldn’t do better than a tribute written by an anonymous suckup at the church’s own STAND League. Oh, wow. [What is this Substack thing, anyway?]


Technology Cocktail


“The Case Supervisor is alert to the inability or ability of a pc or pre-OT to go backtrack, to the number of engrams the pc runs per chain before erasure, to the number of commands given before F/N on a Scientology process. And by this he can gauge how arduously the case must be worked on. For example, on a child, a bruised finger yesterday run as an engram F/Ns. In Scientology any grade command will also F/N on clearing it. End result, no real case improvement. But if you keep at it and at it and at it, gradually gradually the case runs deeper and deeper into the past and confronts heavier and heavier incidents.” — L. Ron Hubbard, 1969



We first broke the news of the LAPD’s investigation of Scientology celebrity Danny Masterson on rape allegations in 2017, and we’ve been covering the story every step of the way since then. At this page we’ve collected our most important links as Danny faces a potential sentence of 45 years to life in prison. NOW WITH TRIAL INDEX.


THE PODCAST: How many have you heard?

[1] Marc Headley [2] Claire Headley [3] Jeffrey Augustine [4] Bruce Hines [5] Sunny Pereira [6] Pete Griffiths [7] Geoff Levin [8] Patty Moher [9] Marc Headley [10] Jefferson Hawkins [11] Michelle ‘Emma’ Ryan [12] Paulette Cooper [13] Jesse Prince [14] Mark Bunker [15] Jon Atack [16] Mirriam Francis [17] Bruce Hines on MSH

— SPECIAL: The best TV show on Scientology you never got to see

[1] Phil Jones [2] Derek Bloch [3] Carol Nyburg [4] Katrina Reyes [5] Jamie DeWolf

— The first Danny Masterson trial and beyond

[18] Trial special with Chris Shelton [19] Trial week one [20] Marc Headley on the spy in the hallway [21] Trial week two [22] Trial week three [23] Trial week four [24] Leah Remini on LAPD Corruption [25] Mike Rinder 2022 Thanksgiving Special [26] Jane Doe 4 (Tricia Vessey), Part One [27] Jane Doe 4 (Tricia Vessey), Part Two [28] Claire Headley on the trial [29] Tory Christman [30] Bruce Hines on spying [31] Karen de la Carriere [32] Ron Miscavige on Shelly Miscavige [33] Karen de la Carriere on the L’s [34] Mark Bunker on Miscavige hiding [35] Mark Plummer [36] Mark Ebner [37] Karen Pressley [38] Steve Cannane [39] Fredrick Brennan [40] Clarissa Adams [41] Louise Shekter [42] John Sweeney [43] Tory Christman [44] Kate Bornstein [45] Christian Stolte [46] Mark Bunker [47] Jon Atack [48] Luke Y. Thompson [49] Mark Ebner [50] Bruce Hines [51] Spanky Taylor and Karen Pressley [51] Geoff and Robbie Levin [52] Sands Hall [53] Jonny Jacobsen [54] Sandy Holeman [55] Mark Bunker [56] Trish and Liz Conley [57] Trish Conley [58] Alex Barnes-Ross [59] Alex Barnes-Ross [60] Alex Barnes-Ross [61] Alex Barnes-Ross [62] Alex Barnes-Ross [63] Alex Barnes-Ross [64] Tory Christman [65] Tammy Synovec [66] Dennis Erlich [67] Alex Barnes-Ross [68] Valerie Ross [69] Kat in Austin [70] Mark Bunker [71] Phil Jones



Source Code

“We’ve had a little slowdown here recently on research the last six, seven days — I managed to get the show back on the road again — mostly due to the nonsense going on in Australia. The general situation with regard to that is they’re not in any danger or anything like that, they’re just being cross-advised and being generally upset. The government of Australia….Well, these little boys have an opposition there that are quite red and they all of a sudden decided under a fellow of the name of Galbatty to investigate Scientology on account of how bad it all was, you see? And this is the message I want to get across to you, not the state of Australia. An organization starts slipping, they stop following through standard policies, they are not on the ball here and they individuate there and they goof up someplace else. And then you all of a sudden start having trouble in their vicinity and it finally swells up to something like this inquiry you see, and that sort of thing. Just everybody has to some degree or another taken his finger off of his number and goofed up. You get the idea? In this particular case, why, they ran some jerk down there who they knew was a security risk. He couldn’t pass an E-Meter test if you’d held a gun to his head. He is just a complete bum. So they go ahead and give him high-level processing. Name is Werne. And they give this fellow a bunch of high-level processing and restimulate two or three wrong goals on him one way or the other so he goes into a complete spin. And I think he’d been in psychiatric treatment and he went back under psychiatric treatment, and then he runs over and sees Galbatty to get Galbatty to pass legislation so as to cure his GPMs and it just all went to smoke. And it had never even occurred to anybody down in Melbourne simply to handle Werne, refund his money and straighten him up. When they did refund his money, they didn’t even require him to sign a release. So they went and refunded his money; he went over to the court the same afternoon and filed a suit for a hundred and sixty thousand pounds. I mean, it takes genius, see? It just takes goof up after goof up.” — L. Ron Hubbard, April 30, 1964


Avast, Ye Mateys

“Customs needs handling in these ports. Fully. And gently. Anyone trying to put things aboard before full clearance can really mess a port up. If you have anything to do with Customs or even think about taking anything ashore or bringing anything on the ship, see the Ships Rep first! Aboard, you are not in the country. When you go through the gate you are in the country. When you come through the gate to come aboard you are leaving the country. This is true even when the ship is lying alongside a berth. So don’t violate or stir up customs officials. They are at the gate. When you go through that gate things you are carrying or escorting are entering or leaving the country. They lock up ‘smugglers’ for 40 years on bread and water and throw the key away.” — The Commodore, April 30, 1971


Overheard in the FreeZone

“There is no intention here to blame the Church management or the staff. Many are really dedicated guys. I don’t blame either the Scientologists who do not accept the idea of LRH being back in business. They just don’t realize that with the Tech they have, they are not going to make it on a broad scale on Earth. Why, because it is just impossible to train relatively standard auditors with the existing Standard Tech. The proof? Well do you see any volume of active auditors? If I am wrong, may be auditing in the field has become a very secret activity. No, despite any effort past or present in the orgs or in the independent field, there was and there is no auditor training worth its name. Why? Too hard! Too difficult! Too complex! Too complicated!”



Past is Prologue

1996: Jeff Jacobsen posted some research concerning the basement of the Ft. Harrison Hotel, the cult’s headquarters in Clearwater, Florida. “There is some controversy about whether the Ft. Harrison Hotel in Clearwater (which is a Scientology building) has a basement. Dennis Erlich claims he was locked in the basement as part of his RPF for doing something wrong. Brian Anderson, VP of the church in Clearwater (who is the president?) said on WMNF that Dennis is lying and there is no basement in the Ft. Harrison. I’ve heard that the latest KSW magazine also says there is no basement in the Ft. Harrison. Anyone can go over to the County Courthouse right next to the Ft. Harrison and look up property assessments for any building in Clearwater. The Ft. Harrison is listed as having a basement of 1806 square feet.”


Random Howdy

“Scientologists have zero loyalty to anything except Ron and the ‘Tech.’ The concepts of country and patriotism are wog nonsense to them. They are committed to a world wide jihad against all countries and nations. Real Scientologists don’t even feel any loyalty to their family members, let alone their country.”


Full Court Press: What we’re watching at the Underground Bunker

Criminal prosecutions:
Danny Masterson charged for raping three women: Found guilty on two counts on May 31, remanded to custody. Sentenced to 30 years to life on Sep 7.
‘Lafayette Ronald Hubbard’ (a/k/a Justin Craig), aggravated assault, plus drug charges: Grand jury indictments include charges from an assault while in custody. Next pretrial hearing May 17, 2024.
David Gentile, GPB Capital, fraud.

Civil litigation:
Leah Remini v. Scientology, alleging ‘Fair Game’ harassment and defamation: Some defamation claims were removed by Judge Hammock. Leah seeking to amend her complaint.
Baxter, Baxter, and Paris v. Scientology, alleging labor trafficking: Forced to arbitration. Plaintiffs allowed interlocutory appeal to Eleventh Circuit.
Valerie Haney v. Scientology: Forced to ‘religious arbitration.’
Chrissie Bixler et al. v. Scientology and Danny Masterson: motion to file new complaint, hearing on May 29.
Jane Doe 1 v. Scientology, David Miscavige, and Gavin Potter: Case unsealed and second amended complaint filed. Scientology moves for religious arbitration, hearing on April 16.
Chiropractors Steve Peyroux and Brent Detelich, stem cell fraud: Ordered to mediation.



After the success of their double-Emmy-winning, three-season A&E series ‘Scientology and the Aftermath,’ Leah Remini and Mike Rinder continue the conversation on their podcast, ‘Scientology: Fair Game.’ We’ve created a landing page where you can hear all of the episodes so far.


An episode-by-episode guide to Leah Remini’s three-season, double-Emmy winning series that changed everything for Scientology watching. Originally aired from 2016 to 2019 on the A&E network, and now on Netflix.


Find your favorite Hubbardite celeb at this index page — or suggest someone to add to the list!

Other links: SCIENTOLOGY BLACK OPS: Tom Cruise and dirty tricks. Scientology’s Ideal Orgs, from one end of the planet to the other. Scientology’s sneaky front groups, spreading the good news about L. Ron Hubbard while pretending to benefit society. Scientology Lit: Books reviewed or excerpted in a weekly series. How many have you read?



[ONE year ago] Scientology honcho David Miscavige turns 63 today, and here’s his official church bio!
[TWO years ago] Scientology leader David Miscavige is 62 years old today, and we have presents!
[THREE years ago] Danny Masterson prosecutor: ‘Scientology is inextricably connected to this case’
[FOUR years ago] Scientology leader David Miscavige is 60 today, and we have presents
[FIVE years ago] Questions for Scientologist Elisabeth Moss — from former Scientologists
[SIX years ago] David Miscavige turns 58 today, and we’re celebrating with tales of birthdays past
[SEVEN years ago] Scientology leader David Miscavige turns 57 today — what’s your birthday greeting?
[EIGHT years ago] A STAR IS BORN: Scientology attorney Monique Yingling steals the spotlight on ’20/20′
[NINE years ago] As Scientology crumbles, read the dreams its members are still chasing
[TEN years ago] Scientology leader David Miscavige turns 54 today — Hip, hip, hooray!
[ELEVEN years ago] The Scientology Method: Drill, Baby, Drill!


Scientology disconnection, a reminder

Bernie Headley (1952-2019) did not see his daughter Stephanie in his final 5,667 days.
Tammy Synovec has not seen her daughter Julia in 2,886 days.
Valerie Haney has not seen her mother Lynne in 3,381 days.
Katrina Reyes has not seen her mother Yelena in 3,896 days
Sylvia Wagner DeWall has not seen her brother Randy in 3,446 days.
Brian Sheen has not seen his grandson Leo in 2,436 days.
Geoff Levin has not seen his son Collin and daughter Savannah in 2,317 days.
Christie Collbran has not seen her mother Liz King in 5,621 days.
Clarissa Adams has not seen her parents Walter and Irmin Huber in 3,492 days.
Jamie Sorrentini Lugli has not seen her father Irving in 5,044 days.
Quailynn McDaniel has not seen her brother Sean in 4,385 days.
Dylan Gill has not seen his father Russell in 12,952 days.
Melissa Paris has not seen her father Jean-Francois in 8,871 days.
Valeska Paris has not seen her brother Raphael in 5,039 days.
Mirriam Francis has not seen her brother Ben in 4,620 days.
Claudio and Renata Lugli have not seen their son Flavio in 4,881 days.
Sara Goldberg has not seen her daughter Ashley in 3,917 days.
Lori Hodgson has not seen her son Jeremy and daughter Jessica in 3,633 days.
Marie Bilheimer has not seen her mother June in 3,197 days.
Julian Wain has not seen his brother Joseph or mother Susan in 1,512 days.
Charley Updegrove has not seen his son Toby in 2,687 days.
Joe Reaiche has not seen his daughter Alanna Masterson in 7,238 days
Derek Bloch has not seen his father Darren in 4,369 days.
Cindy Plahuta has not seen her daughter Kara in 4,707 days.
Roger Weller has not seen his daughter Alyssa in 9,560 days.
Claire Headley has not seen her mother Gen in 4,681 days.
Ramana Dienes-Browning has not seen her mother Jancis in 3,037 days.
Mike Rinder has not seen his son Benjamin and daughter Taryn in 7,340 days.
Brian Sheen has not seen his daughter Spring in 3,446 days.
Skip Young has not seen his daughters Megan and Alexis in 3,844 days.
Mary Kahn has not seen her son Sammy in 3,720 days.
Lois Reisdorf has not seen her son Craig in 3,285 days.
Phil and Willie Jones have not seen their son Mike and daughter Emily in 3,798 days.
Mary Jane Barry has not seen her daughter Samantha in 4,052 days.
Kate Bornstein has not seen her daughter Jessica in 15,160 days.


Posted by Tony Ortega on April 30, 2024 at 07:00

E-mail tips to tonyo94 AT gmail DOT com or follow us on Twitter. We also post updates at our Facebook author page. After every new story we send out an alert to our e-mail list and our FB page.

Our new book with Paulette Cooper, Battlefield Scientology: Exposing L. Ron Hubbard’s dangerous ‘religion’ is now on sale at Amazon in paperback and Kindle formats. Our book about Paulette, The Unbreakable Miss Lovely: How the Church of Scientology tried to destroy Paulette Cooper, is on sale at Amazon in paperback, Kindle, and audiobook versions. We’ve posted photographs of Paulette and scenes from her life at a separate location. Reader Sookie put together a complete index. More information can also be found at the book’s dedicated page.

The Best of the Underground Bunker, 1995-2022 Just starting out here? We’ve picked out the most important stories we’ve covered here at the Underground Bunker (2012-2022), The Village Voice (2008-2012), New Times Los Angeles (1999-2002) and the Phoenix New Times (1995-1999)

Other links: BLOGGING DIANETICS: Reading Scientology’s founding text cover to cover | UP THE BRIDGE: Claire Headley and Bruce Hines train us as Scientologists | GETTING OUR ETHICS IN: Jefferson Hawkins explains Scientology’s system of justice | SCIENTOLOGY MYTHBUSTING: Historian Jon Atack discusses key Scientology concepts | Shelly Miscavige, 15 years gone | The Lisa McPherson story told in real time | The Cathriona White stories | The Leah Remini ‘Knowledge Reports’ | Hear audio of a Scientology excommunication | Scientology’s little day care of horrors | Whatever happened to Steve Fishman? | Felony charges for Scientology’s drug rehab scam | Why Scientology digs bomb-proof vaults in the desert | PZ Myers reads L. Ron Hubbard’s “A History of Man” | Scientology’s Master Spies | The mystery of the richest Scientologist and his wayward sons | Scientology’s shocking mistreatment of the mentally ill | The Underground Bunker’s Official Theme Song | The Underground Bunker FAQ

Watch our short videos that explain Scientology’s controversies in three minutes or less…

Check your whale level at our dedicated page for status updates, or join us at the Underground Bunker’s Facebook discussion group for more frivolity.

Our non-Scientology stories: Robert Burnham Jr., the man who inscribed the universe | Notorious alt-right inspiration Kevin MacDonald and his theories about Jewish DNA | The selling of the “Phoenix Lights” | Astronomer Harlow Shapley‘s FBI file | Sex, spies, and local TV news | Battling Babe-Hounds: Ross Jeffries v. R. Don Steele


Tony Ortega at The Daily Beast


Tony Ortega at Rolling Stone


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