Scientology fundraising is soaring to new heights! Scientology says so!

 
We’re trying to get our heads around what is revealed in a new flier that one of our great tipsters sent us. It purports to describe a fundraising event held in Atlanta, but for the purpose of raising money for an as-yet-unopened “Ideal Org” in Philadelphia. And in order to get the Atlanta folks into the spirit of the thing, they were apparently encouraged to dress up with 1776 in mind. Because, you know, Philadelphia and Ben Franklin and all.

At least the emcee was decked out in colonial garb. In Atlanta. In June. Well, whatever, just prepare to get yer wallets out, pilgrims!

 
While Mr. Nesbit was praying that the air conditioning didn’t fail (and with how anemic attendance at Ideal Orgs like the one in Atlanta have been, that’s a legitimate worry), he brought on the day’s entertainment to get the crowd riled up.

 
“Our keynote speaker, Double Humanitarian [$200,000] David Morris, gave a powerful message of how embracing the Ideal Org strategy can change one’s life and is truly the most important thing one could be doing as a Scientologist.”

So, forking over huge donations so David Miscavige can build gleaming new cathedrals where they immediately fall empty is really the most important thing you can be doing as a Scientologist? If you say so, Mr. Morris.

 
Translation: Come up here and pledge your kid’s college fund before Mr. Miscavige declares you all!

 
The high-flying American eagle, right there! OK, now this is a party.

 
Well, it might make a little more sense to us that Atlanta Scientologists would be hit up for money for a Philadelphia building if Atlanta was, you know, going gangbusters and could afford to “flow” some “energy” to the City of Brotherly Love. (In this case a whopping $100,000 was apparently raised, which will likely make only a small dent in the millions a renovation in Philly will actually cost.)

But we know that isn’t the case. Atlanta, like the others, went quiet after its initial opening. Our question for our readers who have been regged like this, did you have moments when you realized that the ask didn’t make a lot of sense? Aren’t some of the people in Atlanta being dragged to this thing cognizant that it doesn’t make any sense at all? Let us know.

 
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Technology Cocktail

“THE AIRCRAFT DOOR GOALS: This goal pattern was in use in an aircraft-type set between 315 trillion years ago and 216 trillion years ago and less, and is the pattern which precedes the Helatrobus Implants in this galaxy. It remains to be seen if all preclears have it. The goals were given with one or more goals in a series, usually one, and that goal was To Create. The preclear possibly has this goal several times during this period. It was given in the mocked-up fuselage of an aircraft with the thetan fixed before an aircraft door. (There are also two or more aircraft fuselages used in the Helatrobus Implants, but the preclear moved through them, was not fixed in them.) The date is the way to tell the pattern. The Helatrobus Implants existed only between 52 trillion and 38 trillion years ago, the total life span of the Helatrobus government. If the goal is found to lie earlier, between 315 trillion and 216 trillion or later, up to 52 trillion years ago, then it is probably this pattern. The goal items were laid in with explosions.” — L. Ron Hubbard, 1963

 
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Today’s Scientology happy news. Yes, an excerpt from an actual press release put out by the church.

Summer Fun at the Church of Scientology Los Angeles: Anyone wishing to find L. Ron Hubbard Way last weekend needed only to follow the laughter and shouts of the children as they scrambled up and came plummeting down the inflatable water slide or splashed in the wading pool. It all happened at the intersection of Sunset Boulevard and L. Ron Hubbard Way, with scores of young Angelinos celebrating the unofficial start of the summer.

There was cotton candy, watermelon, and a donut-eating contest. Live music filled the streets. And the arts and crafts booth, balloon sculptures and face-painting artists were in high demand.

Then mid-afternoon, a drum roll signaled the start of a Memorial Day parade and ceremony honoring those fallen in service to America. The program culminated with the presentation of a special award to Scientology Founder L. Ron Hubbard, an officer in World War II, for his service to mankind.

The Church of Scientology Los Angeles is an Ideal Scientology Organization, configured to service Scientologists in their ascent to spiritual freedom and serve as a home for the entire community—a meeting ground of cooperative effort to uplift people of all denominations.

 
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A note from the Proprietor

Monday, we got into the comments to explain why things are changing here at the Underground Bunker. Recently, we had a discussion with Substack’s CEO, Chris Best, and he convinced us that his emerging platform is perhaps our best bet for making Internet journalism actually pay a living wage. As a result, we’ve removed the daily feature story from this website and put it on our new Substack, tonyortega.substack.com.

At Substack, subscription is free and will continue to be for now. Eventually, it will require a paid subscription to access some material. We owe it to our family to explore this option. If you do not want to subscribe to Substack, or if you cannot add another subscription on your budget, we will understand. Tonyortega.org, this website, will continue to be free to read, and we hope it will remain a nexus for people seeking Scientology news and discussion.

— Tony Ortega

 
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Source Code

“It’s a long story. But in 1950, a fellow name of Palmer walked into the Explorers Club just as I was leaving the mail room, and Palmer says to me, ‘Hey, Ron, you want an expedition?’ And I said, ‘Well, sure.’ ‘Well, he says, ‘there’s a whole bunch of Greek and Roman statuary that was being brought from Athens to Rome, and the ship went aground on the north side of the Dodecanese.’ And he says, ‘Been there ever since. And they’ve just located it at about thirty fathoms of water’….And I’ve just been sort of working on this in my spare time and getting it together. Nothing very dramatic in the way of progress….And just today, why, their delay was explained. They had already put it before the Flag Committee and the board of directors and that sort of thing. So the expedition, as of that action, became an official scientific expedition: ocean archaeological survey with the purpose of discovering various periods of marine history in the past, as possibly represented on the floors of sunken harbors long since passed from the view of man where there are, of course, still ships. And I don’t guarantee that we won’t stop by on some of the stuff sunk during World War II and pick up a few tommy guns.” — L. Ron Hubbard, June 22, 1961

 
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Avast, Ye Mateys

“FLAG RUMOURS: You should write all your friends to correct field impression of Flag with brutal ethics and cat-o-nine. I worked out what really happened. In Melilla in the Spring of ’68 we had a flood of raw, relatively untrained, unaudited people arrive. We also had five people who were very heavy handed and suppressive, since blown or dismissed (Berez was booted out of the SO for drug use and is in jail for drug running and possibly Taunton). The ship during the VIII Class was (a) poorly manned (b) had SPs aboard and (c) had very few trained Scientologists and (d) was under heavy enemy attack (the Greek affair with bird dogs aboard). (The UK ban.) What happened was, we trained and processed up the crew, we opened the gate on the SPs and dumped them, we made quite a few auditors and beat the enemy attack with excellent PRO Area Control and the ‘dead agent’ caper, meaning getting documentary proof that what was said of us was lies and getting the agents booted out of the country.” — The Commodore, June 22, 1970

 
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Overheard in the FreeZone

“I don’t think that Ron was or is perfect. I doubt that even the Tech itself is perfect, otherwise there would be no room for improvement. But the things that LRH discovered and created are so breathtakingly amazing that it is unfair to criticize him, his writing style, or his work without keeping the reality of his accomplishments in perspective. To do so would amount to a false report because it would be an incomplete report. As I once mentioned on one of the other blogs, it is fairly well documented Sir Isaac Newton behaved ‘strangely’ at times and once had what we would call a psychotic break……so now what? Are we supposed to abolish the laws of physics and declare calculus to be bullshit? In my reality Ron’s discoveries are at least as stellar as Newton’s and he deserves comparable respect and consideration.”

Past is Prologue

1996: The Cult Awareness Network (CAN) was forced to disband this week, as a result of the $1 million award against CAN in the Jason Scott case. Scott’s attorney was cult member Kendrick Moxon. Reuters reported: “A jury’s decision to award $1 million to a Kirkland man who had sued the Cult Awareness Network is forcing the non-profit group that monitors religious cults to shut down. The bankruptcy will force the network, based in Barrington, Ill., to liquidate its assets and shut down its telephone hot line, which takes an average of 20,000 calls a year.”

 
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Random Howdy

“The putrefaction shakedown is a more accurate name for it.”

 
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Full Court Press: What we’re watching at the Underground Bunker

Criminal prosecutions:
— Danny Masterson charged for raping three women: Next pretrial conference June 30. Trial scheduled for October 11.
— ‘Lafayette Ronald Hubbard’ (a/k/a Justin Craig), aggravated assault, plus drug charges: Last hearing was on January 18, referred to grand jury. Additional charges also referred to grand jury after January 5 assault while in jail.
— Jay and Jeff Spina, Medicare fraud: Jay sentenced to 9 years in prison. Jeff’s sentencing to be scheduled.

Civil litigation:
— Baxter, Baxter, and Paris v. Scientology, alleging labor trafficking: Complaint filed April 28 in Tampa federal court.
— Luis and Rocio Garcia v. Scientology: Eleventh Circuit affirmed ruling granting Scientology’s motion for arbitration. Garcias considering next move.
— Valerie Haney v. Scientology: Forced to ‘religious arbitration.’ Valerie’s motion for reconsideration denied on March 15.
— Chrissie Bixler et al. v. Scientology and Danny Masterson: Appellate court removes requirement of arbitration on January 19, case remanded back to Superior Court. Next hearing scheduled for June 29.
— Brian Statler Sr v. City of Inglewood: Third amended complaint filed, trial set for December 6.
— Author Steve Cannane defamation trial: New trial ordered after appeals court overturned prior ruling.
— Chiropractors Steve Peyroux and Brent Detelich, stem cell fraud: Lawsuit filed by the FTC and state of Georgia in August, now in discovery phase.

 
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THE PROSECUTION OF DANNY MASTERSON

We first broke the news of the LAPD’s investigation of Scientology celebrity Danny Masterson on rape allegations in 2017, and we’ve been covering the story every step of the way since then. At this page we’ve collected our most important links, including our four days in Los Angeles covering the preliminary hearing and its ruling, which has Danny facing trial and the potential sentence of 45 years to life in prison.

SCIENTOLOGY: FAIR GAME

After the success of their double-Emmy-winning, three-season A&E series ‘Scientology and the Aftermath,’ Leah Remini and Mike Rinder continue the conversation on their podcast, ‘Scientology: Fair Game.’ We’ve created a landing page where you can hear all of the episodes so far.

LEAH REMINI: SCIENTOLOGY AND THE AFTERMATH

An episode-by-episode guide to Leah Remini’s three-season, double-Emmy winning series that changed everything for Scientology watching. Originally aired from 2016 to 2019 on the A&E network, and now on Netflix.

SCIENTOLOGY’S CELEBRITIES, from A to Z

Find your favorite Hubbardite celeb at this index page — or suggest someone to add to the list!

 
Other links: SCIENTOLOGY BLACK OPS: Tom Cruise and dirty tricks. Scientology’s Ideal Orgs, from one end of the planet to the other. Scientology’s sneaky front groups, spreading the good news about L. Ron Hubbard while pretending to benefit society. Scientology Lit: Books reviewed or excerpted in a weekly series. How many have you read?

 
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THE WHOLE TRACK

[ONE year ago] Scientology miracles from its 1980s heyday: How do they compare to today?
[TWO years ago] Scientology donor’s financial firm hit with new charges of securities violations
[THREE years ago] How Scientology is likely going to come back at the explosive new lawsuits
[FOUR years ago] Why we think nutty Las Vegas councilwoman Michele Fiore might be a Scientologist
[FIVE years ago] HOWDYCON 2017 IS HERE — DENVER IS CLEAR!
[SIX years ago] CLEARWATER DONE DEAL — Couple seeks big crowd for Scientology ‘disconnection’ billboard
[SEVEN years ago] LIVE-BLOGGING: The Toronto conference on Scientology kicks off and we’re on the scene
[EIGHT years ago] Sunday Funnies: The desperation in Scientology fliers is getting worse. Much worse.
[NINE years ago] Meet the Man Behind WWP, the Web Home of Anonymous and Project Chanology
[TEN years ago] How Hooters — Yes, Hooters — Could Mess Up Scientology’s Refund Scam

 
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Posted by Tony Ortega on June 22, 2022 at 07:00

E-mail tips to tonyo94 AT gmail DOT com or follow us on Twitter. We also post updates at our Facebook author page. After every new story we send out an alert to our e-mail list and our FB page.

Our new book with Paulette Cooper, Battlefield Scientology: Exposing L. Ron Hubbard’s dangerous ‘religion’ is now on sale at Amazon in paperback and Kindle formats. Our book about Paulette, The Unbreakable Miss Lovely: How the Church of Scientology tried to destroy Paulette Cooper, is on sale at Amazon in paperback, Kindle, and audiobook versions. We’ve posted photographs of Paulette and scenes from her life at a separate location. Reader Sookie put together a complete index. More information can also be found at the book’s dedicated page.

The Best of the Underground Bunker, 1995-2021 Just starting out here? We’ve picked out the most important stories we’ve covered here at the Underground Bunker (2012-2021), The Village Voice (2008-2012), New Times Los Angeles (1999-2002) and the Phoenix New Times (1995-1999)

Other links: BLOGGING DIANETICS: Reading Scientology’s founding text cover to cover | UP THE BRIDGE: Claire Headley and Bruce Hines train us as Scientologists | GETTING OUR ETHICS IN: Jefferson Hawkins explains Scientology’s system of justice | SCIENTOLOGY MYTHBUSTING: Historian Jon Atack discusses key Scientology concepts | Shelly Miscavige, 15 years gone | The Lisa McPherson story told in real time | The Cathriona White stories | The Leah Remini ‘Knowledge Reports’ | Hear audio of a Scientology excommunication | Scientology’s little day care of horrors | Whatever happened to Steve Fishman? | Felony charges for Scientology’s drug rehab scam | Why Scientology digs bomb-proof vaults in the desert | PZ Myers reads L. Ron Hubbard’s “A History of Man” | Scientology’s Master Spies | The mystery of the richest Scientologist and his wayward sons | Scientology’s shocking mistreatment of the mentally ill | The Underground Bunker’s Official Theme Song | The Underground Bunker FAQ

Watch our short videos that explain Scientology’s controversies in three minutes or less…

Check your whale level at our dedicated page for status updates, or join us at the Underground Bunker’s Facebook discussion group for more frivolity.

Our non-Scientology stories: Robert Burnham Jr., the man who inscribed the universe | Notorious alt-right inspiration Kevin MacDonald and his theories about Jewish DNA | The selling of the “Phoenix Lights” | Astronomer Harlow Shapley‘s FBI file | Sex, spies, and local TV news | Battling Babe-Hounds: Ross Jeffries v. R. Don Steele

 

Tony Ortega at The Daily Beast