One of our tipsters noticed that a Scientologist in Tampa was going on and on about a new business there, one that offered “body sculpting” along with some odd claims about regrowing hair.
Sure enough, when our reader looked up the body shop, the newest storefront in the “Body Contourz” chain, it was owned by an OT 8 Scientologist who has made large donations to the church.
So hey, we thought we’d help get the word out about it so you can go in to have your fat sucked away, your hair regrown, and all for a good cause — big donations to the Church of Scientology!
The Body Contourz By Danju chain is owned by Danju Management of Clearwater, Florida, whose name is a cute play on its owners, Duane and Anju Anderson.
We featured them in 2019 when they were named “Gold Meritorious” for donating a cumulative $1 million to Scientology’s membership organization, the International Association of Scientologists…
And here’s Duane, explaining the Body Contourz “Ultra Slim” program, which involves sitting under red LED lights which magically melts away fat and sculpts the body “exactly the way you want it,” with “very little lifestyle change or eating change.”
Hey, the man is OT 8 and has power over matter, energy, space and time — he has to know what he’s talking about!
And here’s a nice bonus. Not only is Body Contourz owned by OT Scientologists, one of its spokespersons is none other than Scientologist Mara Jesse Edwards, who appears in several of the company’s testimonial videos.
Sure, you remember Mara. She and her husband advertised for a thetan that they wanted to jump into their newborn, remember?
In some ways, these Hubbardites are only fulfilling the promises made by the Great Thetan himself. Scientology founder L. Ron Hubbard promised that his techniques would not only allow you to add or lose weight at will, but also grow your height, fix your eyesight, and of course leave your body when you felt like it. When are they going to add those sorts of things to the menu at Body Contourz?
So what do you say, campers? Head on down for some red-light therapy, and melt away those pounds knowing that whatever you pay is going to end up in Dave’s slush fund eventually!
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Did you know you can get an email every morning when we post our daily Scientology story? We know some of the folks who come to the Underground Bunker aren’t here to talk about the politics of the day, and that’s why we created a daily politics feature over at our other blog, The Lowdown, and we ask readers to take their political discussions over there. And if you drop us a line at tonyo94 AT gmail, we’ll put you on the list so you get a morning reminder that a new Scientology story has been posted — and only for our Scientology stories.
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“If you went into this technical society and you could just make better screwdrivers than anybody else, why, if you had any acumen at all, you eventually would make some kind of a minor success of the situation. But we’re not talking now about screwdrivers. We’re talking about the stuff of which life is made: life itself. And any time you get a technology of that character going forward, and you have a grasp of that technology, you cannot help but win. You don’t even have to try to win. People will come ahead and present you with large sections of Earth. That is all. I mean, it can’t help it. For instance, right now I’ve told them occasionally, from time to time, they’d never get into space without us. I’ve told them that from time to time. Well, what do you know? Cape Canaveral just sent for a Scientologist. They won’t get into space without us.” — L. Ron Hubbard, December 12, 1961
“NO ONE is to send telexes, telegrams, telephone messages or mail ashore without security clearance of CS-1. This includes the Ships Rep and Operations on international and mission lines but does not affect daily purchasing, PRO and port/agent cycles. This DOES include personal favors asked of persons leaving the ship on mission or on leave — they may NOT be given things to send specially for crewmembers or money to be transferred off normal org lines that are set up to handle just that.” — Ellen Klayman, F/Communicator, approved by Lt. Brian Livingston CS-1, December 12, 1969
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“My understanding is that Ron expected Class VIIIs to be the ones to export the Tech to the next planet and the next planet and so on. Otherwise, if LRH is the only exporter around, you’re looking at a universe which will never be cleared until the last sun is just an ember. Now consider the practical aspects of exporting Scientology to another planet. How much time are you really going to spend explaining who the Founder was? Consider that you could be dealing with a population of doll bodies, lizard bodies, insect bodies, no bodies, meat bodies, etc. It’s doubtful you’re going to walk around with 8x10s of Ron in your meter case to pass out. I would never take credit for developing Scientology; I would always say it was developed by this guy who lived on the third planet on your left. But I sincerely doubt I would dwell for any length of time on the personal details of Ron. Someone asks, how many times he was married or how many kids he had… who cares? What brand of coffee did he like the most? Honestly, folks, I have no idea. In the broad scheme of things, Ron and who he was won’t matter much. But the Tech will.”
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2000: Mark Bunker reported being asked to leave the Winter Wonderland in downtown Clearwater this week. “There were children singing on stage, kids getting pony rides, and a small petting zoo on display. The lure of the bunnies waiting to be pet were too much for us so we went inside. Within minutes of our entering what we assumed to be a public event, one of my guests had a man poke her in the arm and say ‘Why are you here if you don’t believe?’ My guest was wearing a T-shirt saying ‘Think for yourself’ and displaying the web address for the Lisa McPherson Trust, a watchdog group in downtown Clearwater which helps folks victimized by Scientology. Immediately after, Benetta Slaughter, a prominent Scientologist, came up to the three of us and demanded we leave as we were on private property. We complied immediately. We saw no indication that you had to have specific beliefs to share in the glory of the Winter Wonderland. The signs at the entrance welcomed all and said ‘Free Admission.'”
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“I remember one time I was talking to vaLLarrr and she let slip that the universe was 76 trillion years old. The next day she tried to make out she had been talking about the multiverse theory, but when I pressed her on it she admitted that wasn’t what she originally meant — she was honest in a weird way. That was a big win for me to get her to engage in verbal tech because normally she was super slick about avoiding that.”
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Full Court Press: What we’re watching at the Underground Bunker
Criminal prosecutions:
— Danny Masterson charged for raping three women: Next hearing set for February 8. Trial scheduled for August 29, 2022.
— ‘Lafayette Ronald Hubbard’ (a/k/a Justin Craig), false imprisonment, aggravated assault, plus drug charges: Next hearing scheduled for December 21.
— Jay and Jeff Spina, Medicare fraud: Jay sentenced to 9 years in prison. Jeff’s sentencing to be scheduled.
— Hanan and Rizza Islam and other family members, Medi-Cal fraud: Pretrial conference December 17 in Los Angeles
— David Gentile, GPB Capital, fraud: Next pretrial conference set for February 11.
— Joseph ‘Ben’ Barton, Medicare fraud: Pleaded guilty, awaiting sentencing.
Civil litigation:
— Luis and Rocio Garcia v. Scientology: Eleventh Circuit affirmed ruling granting Scientology’s motion for arbitration. Garcias considering next move.
— Valerie Haney v. Scientology: Forced to ‘religious arbitration.’ US Supreme Court denied Valerie’s petition Oct 4.
— Chrissie Bixler et al. v. Scientology and Danny Masterson: California Supreme Court granted review on May 26 and asked the Second Appellate Division to direct Judge Steven Kleifield to show cause why he granted Scientology’s motion for arbitration. Oral arguments held November 2, awaiting a ruling.
— Matt and Kathy Feschbach tax debt: Eleventh Circuit ruled on Sept 9, 2020 that Feshbachs can’t discharge IRS debt in bankruptcy. Dec 17: Feshbachs sign court judgment obliging them to pay entire $3.674 million tax debt, plus interest from Nov 19.
— Brian Statler Sr v. City of Inglewood: Third amended complaint filed, trial set for June 28, 2022.
— Author Steve Cannane defamation trial: Trial concluded, Cannane victorious, awarded court costs. Case appealed on Dec 23. Appeal hearing held Aug 23-27. Awaiting a ruling.
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THE PROSECUTION OF DANNY MASTERSON
We first broke the news of the LAPD’s investigation of Scientology celebrity Danny Masterson on rape allegations in 2017, and we’ve been covering the story every step of the way since then. At this page we’ve collected our most important links, including our four days in Los Angeles covering the preliminary hearing and its ruling, which has Danny facing trial and the potential sentence of 45 years to life in prison.
After the success of their double-Emmy-winning, three-season A&E series ‘Scientology and the Aftermath,’ Leah Remini and Mike Rinder continue the conversation on their podcast, ‘Scientology: Fair Game.’ We’ve created a landing page where you can hear all of the episodes so far.
LEAH REMINI: SCIENTOLOGY AND THE AFTERMATH
An episode-by-episode guide to Leah Remini’s three-season, double-Emmy winning series that changed everything for Scientology watching. Originally aired from 2016 to 2019 on the A&E network, and now on Netflix.
SCIENTOLOGY’S CELEBRITIES, from A to Z
Find your favorite Hubbardite celeb at this index page — or suggest someone to add to the list!
Other links: SCIENTOLOGY BLACK OPS: Tom Cruise and dirty tricks. Scientology’s Ideal Orgs, from one end of the planet to the other. Scientology’s sneaky front groups, spreading the good news about L. Ron Hubbard while pretending to benefit society. Scientology Lit: Books reviewed or excerpted in a weekly series. How many have you read?
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THE WHOLE TRACK
[ONE year ago] Wild scene in court papers: Scientology leader David Miscavige finally, really served?
[TWO years ago] The LAPD has evidence a Scientology official it’s seeking has been sent to the Freewinds
[THREE years ago] Tiponi Grey, 1968-2018, a woman who told off Scientology for its lack of compassion
[FOUR years ago] For the first time: The FBI file of Gabe Cazares, the Clearwater mayor targeted by Scientology
[FIVE years ago] Scientology and ‘aliens’: What did L. Ron Hubbard actually say about space invaders?
[SIX years ago] More leaked video: Watch Scientology welcome 2007, a year David Miscavige would regret
[SEVEN years ago] Jon Atack packs a lot into a new short book — ‘Scientology: The Cult of Greed’
[EIGHT years ago] Judge Whittemore grants Luis Garcia discovery of Scientology’s murky trusts in fraud lawsuit
[NINE years ago] Only 2,418 Scientologists in England and Wales, Vastly Outnumbered by Jedi Knights
[TEN years ago] Scientology Leader David Miscavige Digs Israel; BONUS: Black People are Cool!
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Bernie Headley (1952-2019) did not see his daughter Stephanie in his final 5,667 days.
Valerie Haney has not seen her mother Lynne in 2,512 days.
Katrina Reyes has not seen her mother Yelena in 3,017 days
Sylvia Wagner DeWall has not seen her brother Randy in 2,537 days.
Brian Sheen has not seen his grandson Leo in 1,557 days.
Geoff Levin has not seen his son Collin and daughter Savannah in 1,448 days.
Christie Collbran has not seen her mother Liz King in 4,755 days.
Clarissa Adams has not seen her parents Walter and Irmin Huber in 2,623 days.
Carol Nyburg has not seen her daughter Nancy in 3,397 days.
Doug Kramer has not seen his parents Linda and Norm in 1,728 days.
Jamie Sorrentini Lugli has not seen her father Irving in 4,201 days.
Quailynn McDaniel has not seen her brother Sean in 3,517 days.
Dylan Gill has not seen his father Russell in 12,083 days.
Melissa Paris has not seen her father Jean-Francois in 8,002 days.
Valeska Paris has not seen her brother Raphael in 4,170 days.
Mirriam Francis has not seen her brother Ben in 3,751 days.
Claudio and Renata Lugli have not seen their son Flavio in 4,012 days.
Sara Goldberg has not seen her daughter Ashley in 3,048 days.
Lori Hodgson has not seen her son Jeremy and daughter Jessica in 2,763 days.
Marie Bilheimer has not seen her mother June in 2,288 days.
Julian Wain has not seen his brother Joseph or mother Susan in 643 days.
Charley Updegrove has not seen his son Toby in 1,818 days.
Joe Reaiche has not seen his daughter Alanna Masterson in 6,369 days
Derek Bloch has not seen his father Darren in 3,518 days.
Cindy Plahuta has not seen her daughter Kara in 3,838 days.
Roger Weller has not seen his daughter Alyssa in 8,693 days.
Claire Headley has not seen her mother Gen in 3,812 days.
Ramana Dienes-Browning has not seen her mother Jancis in 2,168 days.
Mike Rinder has not seen his son Benjamin and daughter Taryn in 6,471 days.
Brian Sheen has not seen his daughter Spring in 2,577 days.
Skip Young has not seen his daughters Megan and Alexis in 2,975 days.
Mary Kahn has not seen her son Sammy in 2,851 days.
Lois Reisdorf has not seen her son Craig in 2,434 days.
Phil and Willie Jones have not seen their son Mike and daughter Emily in 2,929 days.
Mary Jane Barry has not seen her daughter Samantha in 3,183 days.
Kate Bornstein has not seen her daughter Jessica in 14,292 days.
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Posted by Tony Ortega on December 12, 2021 at 07:00
E-mail tips to tonyo94 AT gmail DOT com or follow us on Twitter. We also post updates at our Facebook author page. After every new story we send out an alert to our e-mail list and our FB page.
Our new book with Paulette Cooper, Battlefield Scientology: Exposing L. Ron Hubbard’s dangerous ‘religion’ is now on sale at Amazon in paperback and Kindle formats. Our book about Paulette, The Unbreakable Miss Lovely: How the Church of Scientology tried to destroy Paulette Cooper, is on sale at Amazon in paperback, Kindle, and audiobook versions. We’ve posted photographs of Paulette and scenes from her life at a separate location. Reader Sookie put together a complete index. More information can also be found at the book’s dedicated page.
The Best of the Underground Bunker, 1995-2020 Just starting out here? We’ve picked out the most important stories we’ve covered here at the Underground Bunker (2012-2020), The Village Voice (2008-2012), New Times Los Angeles (1999-2002) and the Phoenix New Times (1995-1999)
Other links: BLOGGING DIANETICS: Reading Scientology’s founding text cover to cover | UP THE BRIDGE: Claire Headley and Bruce Hines train us as Scientologists | GETTING OUR ETHICS IN: Jefferson Hawkins explains Scientology’s system of justice | SCIENTOLOGY MYTHBUSTING: Historian Jon Atack discusses key Scientology concepts | Shelly Miscavige, 15 years gone | The Lisa McPherson story told in real time | The Cathriona White stories | The Leah Remini ‘Knowledge Reports’ | Hear audio of a Scientology excommunication | Scientology’s little day care of horrors | Whatever happened to Steve Fishman? | Felony charges for Scientology’s drug rehab scam | Why Scientology digs bomb-proof vaults in the desert | PZ Myers reads L. Ron Hubbard’s “A History of Man” | Scientology’s Master Spies | The mystery of the richest Scientologist and his wayward sons | Scientology’s shocking mistreatment of the mentally ill | The Underground Bunker’s Official Theme Song | The Underground Bunker FAQ
Watch our short videos that explain Scientology’s controversies in three minutes or less…
Check your whale level at our dedicated page for status updates, or join us at the Underground Bunker’s Facebook discussion group for more frivolity.
Our non-Scientology stories: Robert Burnham Jr., the man who inscribed the universe | Notorious alt-right inspiration Kevin MacDonald and his theories about Jewish DNA | The selling of the “Phoenix Lights” | Astronomer Harlow Shapley‘s FBI file | Sex, spies, and local TV news | Battling Babe-Hounds: Ross Jeffries v. R. Don Steele
Tony Ortega at The Daily Beast
