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The nanny task list from a Scientology couple that is driving Twitter insane

[Hollis Jane Andrews]

Our thanks to the several people who forwarded us something that’s getting considerable attention at Twitter this morning, and we can certainly see why.

Actress and little person Hollis Jane Andrews (Disadvantage, K.C. Undercover) has been posting some old papers from her school days and ran across a mindblowing document. Here’s how she describes it:

In 2013, I interviewed with an (unbeknownst to me at the time) Scientologist family to be their nanny. They gave this absolutely BONKERS list of responsibilities and now I give it to all of you.

The two page document is titled “Hat Write up,” which Scientology watchers will recognize. In Hubbardese a “hat” is a job, so this translates to “job description.” And see what other Scientologisms you happen to spot here.

But what has Twitter buzzing is the sheer insanity of this task list for a school-age girl being paid $13 an hour. What are your thoughts?



And some reactions:

UPDATE: We know you’re wondering, so here’s a brief video of the mother who wrote this nanny ‘Hat Write up’ in action.



Source Code

“I saw a little fellow once, about 110 pounds, pick up a grand piano and shove it out of a burning house. He never pushed a barbell in his life. Of course, when he got out on the lawn; he wondered who brought the piano out. He just produced enough energy at that moment and overcame enough gravity and threw enough postulates out the window so that the piano would dematerialize in the living room, and rematerialize in the front lawn. And he says, ‘I wonder who brought that piano out?’ Now, if he had arduously trained himself so as to eat Wheaties, why, he would have, of course, left the piano right where it was.” — L. Ron Hubbard, May 7, 1954


Avast, Ye Mateys

“UK ENQUIRY: The ‘Findings’ of this enquiry have been handed over to Sir Joseph in House of Lords. This means very early publication. Past signs are that they will not be viciously unfavorable. We are busy working to handle any possible repercussion. It may be a week or so yet before they hit the UK press. This cycle is far from conclusive. We made a last minute breakthrough on the WHO that began all this and keeps busy hounding us. This breakthrough puts the initiative in our hands. Instead of trying to find out WHO has been hitting Scientology we now find we are moved right over, on target, of WHO is responsible for East-West upsets and the atomic war threats and the economic crises. Whetever the UK ‘enquiry’ says, the end of the war is well in view.” — The Commodore, May 7, 1971


Overheard in the FreeZone

“There’s countless factions of Scientology out here in the field operating apart and if we continue this way, then divided we fall. That was by design as well because the SPs know we have THE most powerful tech that can put an end to them. There are tens of thousands of us Scientologists out here in the field and we need to get back together and form up into a Planet-Clearing machine that would make LRH proud. We need to audit this nonsense out and apply PTS/SP tech and get this world out of the soup it is in. LRH said that the purpose of the Sea Org is “To get in ethics on the planet and eventually this universe”. Didn’t happen. Why? Because we didn’t take him serious enough. So – once again we are the only way out for this planet. If we don’t form up and get organized now, we will have lost BIG.”



Past is Prologue

1998: Redbook magazine carries an article on Scientologist Kelly Preston this month. “She relied upon her belief in Scientology to change the direction of her otherwise conventional career path. Preston was introduced to it in 1985 by an acting coach, and when she met Travolta she was pleased to discover that he had been following Scientology since his early twenties. As their relationship grew, so did Preston’s adherence to Scientology. ‘In Scientology there’s something that’s called an Administration Scale. It’s actually what John did before he decided to do Pulp Fiction’ she explains. ‘It’s a step-by-step plan, pinpointing everything that you’re going to do in your career and how you’re going to do it. It’s not just wishing and hoping and praying. It makes you very much the cause of your life.'”


Random Howdy

“Hubbard just took ‘astral projection’ and redefined it as ‘exteriorization’.”


Full Court Press: What we’re watching at the Underground Bunker

Criminal prosecutions:
Danny Masterson charged for raping three women: Preliminary hearing set for May 18.
Jay and Jeff Spina, Medicare fraud: Jay sentenced to 9 years in prison. Jeff’s sentencing to be scheduled.
Hanan and Rizza Islam and other family members, Medi-Cal fraud: Trial scheduled for May 20 in Los Angeles

David Gentile, GPB Capital, fraud: Next pretrial conference set for June 18.

Civil litigation:
Luis and Rocio Garcia v. Scientology: Oral arguments were heard on July 30 at the Eleventh Circuit
Valerie Haney v. Scientology: Forced to ‘religious arbitration.’ Petition for writ of mandate denied Oct 22 by Cal 2nd Appellate District. Petition for review by state supreme court denied Dec 11.
Chrissie Bixler et al. v. Scientology and Danny Masterson: Dec 30, Judge Kleifield granted Scientology’s motions to compel arbitration. June 7: Status conference.
Matt and Kathy Feschbach tax debt: Eleventh Circuit ruled on Sept 9 that Feshbachs can’t discharge IRS debt in bankruptcy. Dec 17: Feshbachs sign court judgment obliging them to pay entire $3.674 million tax debt, plus interest from Nov 19.
Brian Statler Sr v. City of Inglewood: Second amended complaint filed, trial set for Nov 9, 2021.
Author Steve Cannane defamation trial: Trial concluded, Cannane victorious, awarded court costs. Case appealed on Dec 24.

Concluded litigation:
Dennis Nobbe, Medicare fraud, PPP loan fraud: Charged July 29. Bond revoked Sep 14. Nobbe dead, Sep 14.
Jane Doe v. Scientology (in Miami): Jane Doe dismissed the lawsuit on May 15 after the Clearwater Police dropped their criminal investigation of her allegations.


SCIENTOLOGY BLACK OPS: Tom Cruise and dirty tricks

The Australian Seven News network cancelled a 10-part investigation of Scientology and its history of dirty tricks. Read the transcripts of the episodes and judge for yourself why Tom Cruise and Tommy Davis might not have wanted viewers to see this hard-hitting series by journalist Bryan Seymour.


After the success of their double-Emmy-winning, three-season A&E series ‘Scientology and the Aftermath,’ Leah Remini and Mike Rinder continue the conversation on their podcast, ‘Scientology: Fair Game.’ We’ve created a landing page where you can hear all of the episodes so far.


An episode-by-episode guide to Leah Remini’s three-season, double-Emmy winning series that changed everything for Scientology watching. Originally aired from 2016 to 2019 on the A&E network, and now on Netflix.


Find your favorite Hubbardite celeb at this index page — or suggest someone to add to the list!

Other links: Scientology’s Ideal Orgs, from one end of the planet to the other. Scientology’s sneaky front groups, spreading the good news about L. Ron Hubbard while pretending to benefit society. Scientology Lit: Books reviewed or excerpted in a weekly series. How many have you read?



[ONE year ago] Tom Cruise in orbit: Why it makes sense for NASA to launch Scientology’s space cadet
[TWO years ago] Scientology’s cruise ship and kids: Raped on the Freewinds at 12
[THREE years ago] Scientology celeb Joy Villa takes down her ‘testing the waters’ for Congress web pages
[FOUR years ago] Even in Mexico, Scientology bullies people with hired muscle — but for now strikes out
[FIVE years ago] Scientology’s hypnotic suggestion: What’s true for you is what’s true for L. Ron Hubbard
[SIX years ago] Guest post: 20 reasons the Church of Scientology is a cult and a fraud
[SEVEN years ago] Scientology’s plans for the KCET studios in Los Angeles finally taking shape?
[NINE years ago] The Five Most Dream-Like Sequences in the John Travolta Sex-Assault Lawsuit
[ELEVEN years ago] Tom Cruise Was Secretly Videotaped So Scientology Leader David Miscavige Could Regale Party Guests?


Scientology disconnection, a reminder

Bernie Headley (1952-2019) did not see his daughter Stephanie in his final 5,667 days.
Valerie Haney has not seen her mother Lynne in 2,294 days.
Katrina Reyes has not seen her mother Yelena in 2,798 days
Sylvia Wagner DeWall has not seen her brother Randy in 2,318 days.
Brian Sheen has not seen his grandson Leo in 1,338 days.
Geoff Levin has not seen his son Collin and daughter Savannah in 1,229 days.
Christie Collbran has not seen her mother Liz King in 4,536 days.
Clarissa Adams has not seen her parents Walter and Irmin Huber in 2,404 days.
Carol Nyburg has not seen her daughter Nancy in 3,178 days.
Doug Kramer has not seen his parents Linda and Norm in 1,508 days.
Jamie Sorrentini Lugli has not seen her father Irving in 3,982 days.
Quailynn McDaniel has not seen her brother Sean in 3,298 days.
Dylan Gill has not seen his father Russell in 11,864 days.
Melissa Paris has not seen her father Jean-Francois in 7,783 days.
Valeska Paris has not seen her brother Raphael in 3,951 days.
Mirriam Francis has not seen her brother Ben in 3,532 days.
Claudio and Renata Lugli have not seen their son Flavio in 3,793 days.
Sara Goldberg has not seen her daughter Ashley in 2,831 days.
Lori Hodgson has not seen her son Jeremy and daughter Jessica in 2,544 days.
Marie Bilheimer has not seen her mother June in 2,069 days.
Julian Wain has not seen his brother Joseph or mother Susan in 424 days.
Charley Updegrove has not seen his son Toby in 1,599 days.
Joe Reaiche has not seen his daughter Alanna Masterson in 6,150 days
Derek Bloch has not seen his father Darren in 3,299 days.
Cindy Plahuta has not seen her daughter Kara in 3,619 days.
Roger Weller has not seen his daughter Alyssa in 8,474 days.
Claire Headley has not seen her mother Gen in 3,593 days.
Ramana Dienes-Browning has not seen her mother Jancis in 1,949 days.
Mike Rinder has not seen his son Benjamin and daughter Taryn in 6,252 days.
Brian Sheen has not seen his daughter Spring in 2,358 days.
Skip Young has not seen his daughters Megan and Alexis in 2,760 days.
Mary Kahn has not seen her son Sammy in 2,632 days.
Lois Reisdorf has not seen her son Craig in 2,215 days.
Phil and Willie Jones have not seen their son Mike and daughter Emily in 2,710 days.
Mary Jane Barry has not seen her daughter Samantha in 2,964 days.
Kate Bornstein has not seen her daughter Jessica in 14,073 days.


Posted by Tony Ortega on May 7, 2021 at 07:00

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Our new book with Paulette Cooper, Battlefield Scientology: Exposing L. Ron Hubbard’s dangerous ‘religion’ is now on sale at Amazon in paperback and Kindle formats. Our book about Paulette, The Unbreakable Miss Lovely: How the Church of Scientology tried to destroy Paulette Cooper, is on sale at Amazon in paperback, Kindle, and audiobook versions. We’ve posted photographs of Paulette and scenes from her life at a separate location. Reader Sookie put together a complete index. More information can also be found at the book’s dedicated page.

The Best of the Underground Bunker, 1995-2020 Just starting out here? We’ve picked out the most important stories we’ve covered here at the Underground Bunker (2012-2020), The Village Voice (2008-2012), New Times Los Angeles (1999-2002) and the Phoenix New Times (1995-1999)

Other links: BLOGGING DIANETICS: Reading Scientology’s founding text cover to cover | UP THE BRIDGE: Claire Headley and Bruce Hines train us as Scientologists | GETTING OUR ETHICS IN: Jefferson Hawkins explains Scientology’s system of justice | SCIENTOLOGY MYTHBUSTING: Historian Jon Atack discusses key Scientology concepts | Shelly Miscavige, 15 years gone | The Lisa McPherson story told in real time | The Cathriona White stories | The Leah Remini ‘Knowledge Reports’ | Hear audio of a Scientology excommunication | Scientology’s little day care of horrors | Whatever happened to Steve Fishman? | Felony charges for Scientology’s drug rehab scam | Why Scientology digs bomb-proof vaults in the desert | PZ Myers reads L. Ron Hubbard’s “A History of Man” | Scientology’s Master Spies | The mystery of the richest Scientologist and his wayward sons | Scientology’s shocking mistreatment of the mentally ill | The Underground Bunker’s Official Theme Song | The Underground Bunker FAQ

Watch our short videos that explain Scientology’s controversies in three minutes or less…

Check your whale level at our dedicated page for status updates, or join us at the Underground Bunker’s Facebook discussion group for more frivolity.

Our non-Scientology stories: Robert Burnham Jr., the man who inscribed the universe | Notorious alt-right inspiration Kevin MacDonald and his theories about Jewish DNA | The selling of the “Phoenix Lights” | Astronomer Harlow Shapley‘s FBI file | Sex, spies, and local TV news | Battling Babe-Hounds: Ross Jeffries v. R. Don Steele


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