TODAY AT SUBSTACK: If you’ve signed up for free emails at Substack, you will receive today’s feature story at your inbox: Scientology is back with plans for a car park at its UK headquarters after facing near certain defeat earlier. Will the new proposal overcome the objections of local environmental groups? Alex Barnes-Ross gives us his first impressions of David Miscavige’s latest plans. [What is this Substack thing, anyway?]
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Technology Cocktail
“Every staff member has the responsibility of stamping out verbal tech when it is encountered. The Cramming Officer, however, is in a better position than most to spot and handle this plague, as the evidences of verbal tech will often show up in Cramming. There are any number of ways in which verbal tech may come to the Cramming Officer’s attention. False Data Stripping, for example, quite frequently may turn up verbal tech. Finding the source of a goof or error may reveal it. Two or more terminals making the same mistake in an area is an indication that verbal tech may be afoot there. A number of people in an area making the same error is often a sure sign the area is permeated with it. Occasionally a cramming order itself may contain verbal tech.” — L. Ron Hubbard, 1981
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“I only talk about animal psychologists because I want the beast to be known by his right name. That’s all he is and all he ever pretended to be. Any psychologist is an animal psychologist because the basic theory on which he operates is ‘man is an animal.’ So we call him animal psychologist. And I think that will effectively take care of that as the years roll along. Now, don’t ever use that word psychologist after this. See, just use animal psychologist, always. And you’ll get it around. You’ll find the Times, sooner or later, will be talking about the animal psychologist. And people will be phoning them up to take care of their horses. I wouldn’t let them though. And I don’t even like horses. I wouldn’t let them take care of my horse.” — L. Ron Hubbard, April 17, 1962
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“ORG SECURITY: Mail and telex security and personal mail still must maintain security. Now and then an incompetent or false report wipes out security. The object is to make it difficult for an enemy to predict location and activity. We have had several severe upsets traceable to lack of security. You don’t name ports or detail plans in personal letters or org telexes. You carefully obscure them — Halifax becomes ‘our last port.’ ‘We intend to go to the Seychelles’ becomes ‘we’ll soon be in warmer climes.’ Lloyd’s Weekly Shipping Register was rumored to carry us port to port. This is false. We are never listed as we’re a yacht. But there are at least six other commercial Apollos. Scn orgs have taken to advertising the SO. This is silly. The SO is not their product. We are the organization three feet behind the head of Scn orgs. We succeed if we are least noticed.” — The Commodore, April 17, 1970
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“The core of this procedure is in the conversion of enmest and entheta back into mest and theta (aligned and balanced); one creates an equilibrium of forces which was in an imbalance, enturbulated; it converts enmest and entheta back into its rightful condition, which leads to more power, knowledge and beingness for the one causing it. Theta applies the laws of mest for the purposes of conquering it.”
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2000: Mark Ebner reported that a Scientology official visited Mean Magazine with concerns over a recent article on L. Ron Hubbard and Jack Parsons. “LA Scientology PR operative Kat Tebar showed up at the Mean Magazine office today to purchase a copy of the issue featuring journalist Lisa Derrick’s article on Jack Parsons and his relationship with L Ron Hubbard. While at the office, she made every attempt to try and discredit Derrick, calling her a ‘bigot,’ who is out to get Scientology. The editor’s response was priceless: ‘If we published something critical of the Catholic church, I don’t think the Pope would send someone by our office.’ He went on to inform Tebar that she is welcome to buy an ad or write a letter to the magazine, otherwise, she should ‘find something better to do.'”
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“It all depends on what the definition of a ‘win’ is. Somebody claiming they were cured of their asthma or allergies is ridiculous. Somebody saying that auditing made them happier is vague BS also. The only thing you ‘win’ in Scientology is the Booby Prize.”
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Full Court Press: What we’re watching at the Underground Bunker
Criminal prosecutions:
— Danny Masterson charged for raping three women: Sentenced to 30 years to life on Sep 7, 2023. Appeal now fully briefed, waiting for 2nd Appellate District court to set a hearing date. Masterson has also submitted a habeas corpus petition.
— ‘Lafayette Ronald Hubbard’ (a/k/a Justin Craig), aggravated assault, plus drug charges: Grand jury indictments include charges from an assault while in custody. Pleaded guilty on Nov 10 to a 17-year prison sentence (eligible for parole in two to three more years). Awaiting transfer to state prison.
— Aaron Matthes charged for SA of child under 12 years old: OT Scientologist facing multiple mandatory life sentences. Next pretrial court hearing set for March 9.
Civil litigation:
— Leah Remini v. Scientology, alleging ‘Fair Game’ harassment and defamation: Some defamation claims were removed by Judge Hammock. Judge Hammock’s ruling is on appeal, which is now fully briefed. Awaiting the setting of an oral arguments hearing.
— Baxter, Baxter, and Paris v. Scientology, alleging labor trafficking: Forced to ‘religious arbitration.’
— Valerie Haney v. Scientology: Forced to ‘religious arbitration.’ 15 days of arbitration completed, Val waiting for further word from the IJC.
— Chrissie Bixler et al. v. Scientology and Danny Masterson. Judge Upindra Kalra’s ruling denying Scientology’s motion to strike is on appeal. Appeal fully briefed. Motion to replace Jane Does’ AI-tainted brief denied by court. Oral arguments hearing on March 3.
— Jane Doe 1 v. Scientology, David Miscavige, and Gavin Potter: Case unsealed and second amended complaint filed. Scientology moves for religious arbitration. Trial has been set for January 10, 2028.
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Other links: The prosecution of Danny Masterson. Leah Remini’s Fair Game Podcast. Leah Remini’s A&E Series. Scientology’s Celebrities, from A to Z. Bryan Seymour’s suppressed series, Scientology Black Ops: Tom Cruise and dirty tricks. Scientology’s Ideal Orgs, from one end of the planet to the other. Scientology’s sneaky front groups, spreading the good news about L. Ron Hubbard while pretending to benefit society. Scientology Lit: Books reviewed or excerpted in a weekly series. How many have you read?
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THE WHOLE TRACK
[ONE year ago] So much for that cookie-cutter lawsuit against Scientology about sharing data
[TWO years ago] Two can play that game: Leah Remini presses for another judge change
[THREE years ago] Danny Masterson, the retrial: Jury selection begins this morning and we’re on scene
[FOUR years ago] It’s a Scientology Easter bonnet parade: Founder L. Ron Hubbard in his best finery!
[FIVE years ago] Scientology ‘Sea Org’ members are a cut above, and have to prove it day and night
[SIX years ago] New amended complaint packs a wallop in Miami Scientology child sex assault lawsuit
[SEVEN years ago] Spyentology: For Scientology, operating as an intelligence agency is a religious mandate
[EIGHT years ago] More proof that L. Ron Hubbard really did want Scientologists to consider him the Antichrist
[NINE years ago] Before Scientology’s Xenu was a genocidal galactic overlord, he was a … mountain?
[TEN years ago] Louis Theroux’s ‘My Scientology Movie’ at Tribeca today, & more in our social media review
[ELEVEN years ago] Is France dropping its anti-Scientology fervor because Tom Cruise is just too délicieux?
[TWELVE years ago] Leah Remini ‘Fair Gamed’ by Scientology? Her sister gets a visit, and Tony Dovolani is tailed
[THIRTEEN years ago] Love in the Time of Miscavige
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Bernie Headley (1952-2019) did not see his daughter Stephanie in his final 5,667 days.
Joe Reaiche (1958-2024) did not see his daughter Alanna Masterson in his final 6,999 days.
Mike Rinder (1955-2025) did not see his son Benjamin and daughter Taryn in his final 7,589 days.
Tammy Synovec has not seen her daughter Julia in 3,601 days.
Valerie Haney has not seen her mother Lynne in 4,105 days.
Katrina Reyes has not seen her mother Yelena in 4,611 days
Sylvia Wagner DeWall has not seen her brother Randy in 4,161 days.
Brian Sheen has not seen his grandson Leo in 3,151 days.
Klaus Büchele has not seen his daughter Jasmin in 5,537 days.
Geoff Levin has not seen his son Collin and daughter Savannah in 3,032 days.
Christie Collbran has not seen her mother Liz King in 6,336 days.
Marc Headley has not seen his mother Trudy in 4,987 days.
Clarissa Adams has not seen her parents Walter and Irmin Huber in 4,205 days.
Jamie Sorrentini Lugli has not seen her father Irving in 5,759 days.
Quailynn McDaniel has not seen her brother Sean in 5,100 days.
Dylan Gill has not seen his father Russell in 13,671 days.
Melissa Paris has not seen her father Jean-Francois in 9,587 days.
Valeska Paris has not seen her brother Raphael in 5,754 days.
Mirriam Francis has not seen her brother Ben in 5,340 days.
Claudio and Renata Lugli have not seen their son Flavio in 5,595 days.
Lori Hodgson has not seen her son Jeremy and daughter Jessica in 4,347 days.
Marie Poulin has not seen her mother June in 3,916 days.
Julian Wain has not seen his brother Joseph or mother Susan in 2,227 days.
Charley Updegrove has not seen his son Toby in 3,402 days.
Derek Bloch has not seen his father Darren in 5,084 days.
Cindy Plahuta has not seen her daughter Kara in 5,421 days.
Roger Weller has not seen his daughter Alyssa in 10,274 days.
Claire Headley has not seen her mother Gen in 5,390 days.
Ramana Dienes-Browning has not seen her mother Jancis in 3,752 days.
Brian Sheen has not seen his daughter Spring in 4,163 days.
Skip Young has not seen his daughters Megan and Alexis in 4,551 days.
Mary Kahn has not seen her son Sammy in 4,435 days.
Lois Reisdorf has not seen her son Craig in 3,999 days.
Phil and Willie Jones have not seen their son Mike and daughter Emily in 4,511 days.
Mary Jane Barry has not seen her daughter Samantha in 4,771 days.
Kate Bornstein has not seen her daughter Jessica in 15,875 days.
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Posted by Tony Ortega on April 17, 2026 at 07:00
E-mail tips to tonyo94 AT gmail DOT com or follow us on Twitter.
Our book with Paulette Cooper, Battlefield Scientology: Exposing L. Ron Hubbard’s dangerous ‘religion’ is on sale at Amazon in paperback and Kindle formats. Our book about Paulette, The Unbreakable Miss Lovely: How the Church of Scientology tried to destroy Paulette Cooper, is on sale at Amazon in paperback, Kindle, and audiobook versions. We’ve posted photographs of Paulette and scenes from her life at a separate location. Reader Sookie put together a complete index. More information can also be found at the book’s dedicated page.
The Best of the Underground Bunker, 1995-2024 Just starting out here? We’ve picked out the most important stories we’ve covered here at the Underground Bunker (2012-2024), The Village Voice (2008-2012), New Times Los Angeles (1999-2002) and the Phoenix New Times (1995-1999)
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Tony Ortega at The Daily Beast
