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Scientology is going space crazy! Hold on to your wallets, pilgrims, and let’s blast off!

Scientology may be hurting these days, but the fundraising must go on! And that means another amazing report in the form of one of those long fliers we love to see.

And this case, the space opera church is actually going back to its roots! Well, sort of.

We have to hand it to these Vancouverites who really went the extra parsec in their attention to the theme of this recent event. Soak it up, space cadets!

(Once again we’ve had to chop up the original flier to display it here, and it may be too long for your email platform. If that’s the case, please come see the entire thing at





Technology Cocktail

“In North Africa they had the Arab with the gun and whip. He could force people to do things with a gun and a whip and he accomplished a tremendous amount of extermination, but he certainly didn’t advance that civilization very much. In South Africa they had a bit of the whip but everybody just gave up. The South African native is probably the one impossible person to train in the entire world—he is probably impossible by any human standard.” — L. Ron Hubbard, 1957




We first broke the news of the LAPD’s investigation of Scientology celebrity Danny Masterson on rape allegations in 2017, and we’ve been covering the story every step of the way since then. At this page we’ve collected our most important links as Danny faces a potential sentence of 45 years to life in prison. NOW WITH TRIAL INDEX.


THE PODCAST: How many have you heard?

[1] Marc Headley [2] Claire Headley [3] Jeffrey Augustine [4] Bruce Hines [5] Sunny Pereira [6] Pete Griffiths [7] Geoff Levin [8] Patty Moher [9] Marc Headley [10] Jefferson Hawkins [11] Michelle ‘Emma’ Ryan [12] Paulette Cooper [13] Jesse Prince [14] Mark Bunker [15] Jon Atack [16] Mirriam Francis [17] Bruce Hines on MSH

— SPECIAL: The best TV show on Scientology you never got to see

[1] Phil Jones [2] Derek Bloch [3] Carol Nyburg [4] Katrina Reyes [5] Jamie DeWolf

— The first Danny Masterson trial and beyond

[18] Trial special with Chris Shelton [19] Trial week one [20] Marc Headley on the spy in the hallway [21] Trial week two [22] Trial week three [23] Trial week four [24] Leah Remini on LAPD Corruption [25] Mike Rinder 2022 Thanksgiving Special [26] Jane Doe 4 (Tricia Vessey), Part One [27] Jane Doe 4 (Tricia Vessey), Part Two [28] Claire Headley on the trial [29] Tory Christman [30] Bruce Hines on spying [31] Karen de la Carriere [32] Ron Miscavige on Shelly Miscavige [33] Karen de la Carriere on the L’s [34] Mark Bunker on Miscavige hiding [35] Mark Plummer [36] Mark Ebner [37] Karen Pressley [38] Steve Cannane [39] Fredrick Brennan [40] Clarissa Adams


Source Code

“Let’s get the idea that right this moment you’re engaged in killing a woman. Now let’s remember this as an incident that occurred 20 years ago. Now let’s get the idea that you’re right this moment engaged in killing a man. Now let’s remember this as though it happened 35 years ago. All right….Now let’s get the idea of being a space ranger, a space man being shot to death right at this minute. Now let’s get this on recall now, as something that happened a hundred thousand years ago. This very incident. All right. Now let’s get the idea, right this moment you’re engaged upon being a sultan. Being a sultan. And now recall this as having happened 200 years ago. Now let’s get the idea of being a general, a general who is engaged in slaughtering a million troops. Killing them all to the last troop. Now let’s get this as having occurred a hundred and fifty thousand years ago. Now let’s get the idea of you being engaged this moment, successfully engaged upon blowing up the entire physical universe. Now get this as having happened yesterday. Now let’s get the idea of your own universe at this moment being blown to pieces. Now throw your memory into action as though it happened last night. And now as though it happened 50 years ago. And now as though it happened a billion years ago. And now as though it happened a trillion years ago. And now as though it happened 76 trillion years ago. Now, let’s get the idea right now of being engaged upon the construction of an entirely new universe. Now let’s get this as though you were engaged upon it, actually, at six o’clock this morning. OK.” — L. Ron Hubbard, March 22, 1954



Avast, Ye Mateys

“SECURITY: Remember, we were doing great until we forgot our security in letters, telexes and radio comms and ceased to be archaeologists or moving pictures people. Get our security in.” — The Commodore, March 22, 1969


Overheard in the FreeZone

“I think various people are rollercoastering from lack of proper supervision and having done weird things to their own cases, as well as those of their PCs. I think what we’re seeing is the outcome of a huge experiment on their part into what happens if all the checks and balances of Scientology are ignored. Left to their own devices and doing the wrong processing actions badly, or skipping key actions altogether, they’ve managed to create a really bad chain of BPCs, overruns, etc. In a properly supervised org scenario, all of these indies would have their folders red-tagged and it would get handled with a GF, from which any other repair actions would be taken. There would also be Qual oversight over their processing.”


Past is Prologue

1997: Stephen Jones reported events from Boulder, Colorado. “We came, we saw, we gasped in amusement when we saw the very tall Robert Anderson, Boulder Mission Holder Man, dressed in an Uncle Sam costume. Three cheers for Mr.Anderson for having a sense of humor. By the time we arrived, the picket was in full swing. Scientologists (maybe 15 to 25??…they kept marching in a circle) Anyway…by the time we arrived A BUNCH of Scientologists were marching in a long circle and chanting ‘Blah Blah Blah. Blah Blah Blah. Blah Blah Blah Blah..Blah Blah Blah!’ Well, they used actual words…I just forgot what they were saying. Something about THE INTERNET and RELIGIOUS BIGOTRY…i believe….it just sounded like a robotic chant to me.”



Random Howdy

“Margery Wakefield writes in ‘The Road To Xenu’ about how they were allowed and encouraged to watch Star Trek in the mess hall. They would laugh about how the ‘wogs’ didn’t understand what they were watching were real Whole Track memories.”


Full Court Press: What we’re watching at the Underground Bunker

Criminal prosecutions:
Danny Masterson charged for raping three women: Mistrial declared November 30. Retrial scheduled, jury selection begins March 29. Next pretrial hearing: Feb 16.
‘Lafayette Ronald Hubbard’ (a/k/a Justin Craig), aggravated assault, plus drug charges: Grand jury indictments include charges from an assault while in custody. Next pretrial hearing Feb 13.
Rizza Islam, Medi-Cal fraud: Trial scheduled for March 1 in Los Angeles
David Gentile, GPB Capital, fraud: Next status conference Feb 13.

Civil litigation:
Baxter, Baxter, and Paris v. Scientology, alleging labor trafficking: Complaint filed April 28 in Tampa federal court, Scientology moving to compel arbitration. Plaintiffs filed amended complaint on August 2. Hearing November 17 to argue the arbitration motions, awaiting ruling.
Valerie Haney v. Scientology: Forced to ‘religious arbitration.’ Selection of arbitrators underway. Next court hearing: March 15, 2023.
Chrissie Bixler et al. v. Scientology and Danny Masterson: Appellate court removes requirement of arbitration on January 19, case remanded back to Superior Court. Stay in place at least through February 7.
Author Steve Cannane defamation trial: New trial ordered after appeals court overturned prior ruling.
Chiropractors Steve Peyroux and Brent Detelich, stem cell fraud: Lawsuit filed by the FTC and state of Georgia in August, now in discovery phase.



After the success of their double-Emmy-winning, three-season A&E series ‘Scientology and the Aftermath,’ Leah Remini and Mike Rinder continue the conversation on their podcast, ‘Scientology: Fair Game.’ We’ve created a landing page where you can hear all of the episodes so far.


An episode-by-episode guide to Leah Remini’s three-season, double-Emmy winning series that changed everything for Scientology watching. Originally aired from 2016 to 2019 on the A&E network, and now on Netflix.


Find your favorite Hubbardite celeb at this index page — or suggest someone to add to the list!

Other links: SCIENTOLOGY BLACK OPS: Tom Cruise and dirty tricks. Scientology’s Ideal Orgs, from one end of the planet to the other. Scientology’s sneaky front groups, spreading the good news about L. Ron Hubbard while pretending to benefit society. Scientology Lit: Books reviewed or excerpted in a weekly series. How many have you read?


[ONE year ago] War in Ukraine: What does it mean for Scientology there and in Russia?
[TWO years ago] Scientology on the ground: Despite church PR, things look very grim as the pandemic lingers
[THREE years ago] Scientology tries to rah-rah its way through the pandemic while endangering its members
[FOUR years ago] Here’s the police report on Scientology’s sad attempt to mess with ‘Aftermath’
[FIVE years ago] Scientology TV gives viewers a glimpse of the church’s most secret locations — but why?
[SIX years ago] The real reason Leah Remini is taking a wrecking ball to Scientology
[SEVEN years ago] Trial set in New York on April 7 over Narconon drug rehab hiding connection to Scientology
[EIGHT years ago] ‘Going Clear’ subject Hana Eltringham Whitfield fills us in on a Scientology secret or two
[NINE years ago] Jon Atack: Why I call Scientology a cult and not a church
[TEN years ago] Scientology’s Sneaky Infiltration of New York City Schools
[ELEVEN years ago] Russia Still Going About Things All Wrong, and More in our Scientology Stats Roundup


Scientology disconnection, a reminder

Bernie Headley (1952-2019) did not see his daughter Stephanie in his final 5,667 days.
Valerie Haney has not seen her mother Lynne in 2,976 days.
Katrina Reyes has not seen her mother Yelena in 3,481 days
Sylvia Wagner DeWall has not seen her brother Randy in 3,031 days.
Brian Sheen has not seen his grandson Leo in 2,021 days.
Geoff Levin has not seen his son Collin and daughter Savannah in 1,912 days.
Christie Collbran has not seen her mother Liz King in 5,216 days.
Clarissa Adams has not seen her parents Walter and Irmin Huber in 3,087 days.
Doug Kramer has not seen his parents Linda and Norm in 2,192 days.
Jamie Sorrentini Lugli has not seen her father Irving in 4,669 days.
Quailynn McDaniel has not seen her brother Sean in 3,981 days.
Dylan Gill has not seen his father Russell in 12,547 days.
Melissa Paris has not seen her father Jean-Francois in 8,466 days.
Valeska Paris has not seen her brother Raphael in 4,634 days.
Mirriam Francis has not seen her brother Ben in 4,215 days.
Claudio and Renata Lugli have not seen their son Flavio in 4,476 days.
Sara Goldberg has not seen her daughter Ashley in 3,512 days.
Lori Hodgson has not seen her son Jeremy and daughter Jessica in 3,228 days.
Marie Bilheimer has not seen her mother June in 2,792 days.
Julian Wain has not seen his brother Joseph or mother Susan in 1,107 days.
Charley Updegrove has not seen his son Toby in 2,282 days.
Joe Reaiche has not seen his daughter Alanna Masterson in 6,833 days
Derek Bloch has not seen his father Darren in 3,964 days.
Cindy Plahuta has not seen her daughter Kara in 4,302 days.
Roger Weller has not seen his daughter Alyssa in 9,157 days.
Claire Headley has not seen her mother Gen in 4,276 days.
Ramana Dienes-Browning has not seen her mother Jancis in 2,632 days.
Mike Rinder has not seen his son Benjamin and daughter Taryn in 6,935 days.
Brian Sheen has not seen his daughter Spring in 3,041 days.
Skip Young has not seen his daughters Megan and Alexis in 3,439 days.
Mary Kahn has not seen her son Sammy in 3,315 days.
Lois Reisdorf has not seen her son Craig in 2,898 days.
Phil and Willie Jones have not seen their son Mike and daughter Emily in 3,393 days.
Mary Jane Barry has not seen her daughter Samantha in 3,647 days.
Kate Bornstein has not seen her daughter Jessica in 14,756 days.


Posted by Tony Ortega on March 22, 2023 at 07:00

E-mail tips to tonyo94 AT gmail DOT com or follow us on Twitter. We also post updates at our Facebook author page. After every new story we send out an alert to our e-mail list and our FB page.

Our new book with Paulette Cooper, Battlefield Scientology: Exposing L. Ron Hubbard’s dangerous ‘religion’ is now on sale at Amazon in paperback and Kindle formats. Our book about Paulette, The Unbreakable Miss Lovely: How the Church of Scientology tried to destroy Paulette Cooper, is on sale at Amazon in paperback, Kindle, and audiobook versions. We’ve posted photographs of Paulette and scenes from her life at a separate location. Reader Sookie put together a complete index. More information can also be found at the book’s dedicated page.

The Best of the Underground Bunker, 1995-2021 Just starting out here? We’ve picked out the most important stories we’ve covered here at the Underground Bunker (2012-2021), The Village Voice (2008-2012), New Times Los Angeles (1999-2002) and the Phoenix New Times (1995-1999)

Other links: BLOGGING DIANETICS: Reading Scientology’s founding text cover to cover | UP THE BRIDGE: Claire Headley and Bruce Hines train us as Scientologists | GETTING OUR ETHICS IN: Jefferson Hawkins explains Scientology’s system of justice | SCIENTOLOGY MYTHBUSTING: Historian Jon Atack discusses key Scientology concepts | Shelly Miscavige, 15 years gone | The Lisa McPherson story told in real time | The Cathriona White stories | The Leah Remini ‘Knowledge Reports’ | Hear audio of a Scientology excommunication | Scientology’s little day care of horrors | Whatever happened to Steve Fishman? | Felony charges for Scientology’s drug rehab scam | Why Scientology digs bomb-proof vaults in the desert | PZ Myers reads L. Ron Hubbard’s “A History of Man” | Scientology’s Master Spies | The mystery of the richest Scientologist and his wayward sons | Scientology’s shocking mistreatment of the mentally ill | The Underground Bunker’s Official Theme Song | The Underground Bunker FAQ

Watch our short videos that explain Scientology’s controversies in three minutes or less…

Check your whale level at our dedicated page for status updates, or join us at the Underground Bunker’s Facebook discussion group for more frivolity.

Our non-Scientology stories: Robert Burnham Jr., the man who inscribed the universe | Notorious alt-right inspiration Kevin MacDonald and his theories about Jewish DNA | The selling of the “Phoenix Lights” | Astronomer Harlow Shapley‘s FBI file | Sex, spies, and local TV news | Battling Babe-Hounds: Ross Jeffries v. R. Don Steele


Tony Ortega at The Daily Beast


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