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The real reason Leah Remini is taking a wrecking ball to Scientology


Some of you may have seen the utterance we made on Twitter last night that seemed to amuse a few people. But only one person messaged us to ask us what it was all about…

And since the titillating and edifying story we had planned for you today got pushed back, we decided that we’d share with you one of the truly dumbest videos we’ve run into that has something to do with Scientology…


And for today’s exercise, campers, we’ll put it to you — many of you have been watching Scientology as long as your proprietor has. In that time, what was the dumbest thing you’ve seen written or filmed about Scientology? (Including stuff we’ve done! Let us have it!) And while you’re coming up with that, we’ll use the time to finish up the really hard-hitting stories we have in the hopper.


HowdyCon 2017: Denver, June 23-25. Go here to start making your plans.


Scientology disconnection, a reminder

Bernie Headley has not seen his daughter Stephanie in 4,697 days.
Quailynn McDaniel has not seen her brother Sean in 1,800 days.
Claudio and Renata Lugli have not seen their son Flavio in 2,294 days.
Sara Goldberg has not seen her daughter Ashley in 1,334 days.
Lori Hodgson has not seen her son Jeremy in 1,046 days.
Marie Bilheimer has not seen her mother June in 513 days.
Joe Reaiche has not seen his daughter Alanna Masterson in 4,631 days
Derek Bloch has not seen his father Darren in 1,801 days.
Cindy Plahuta has not seen her daughter Kara in 2,121 days.
Claire Headley has not seen her mother Gen in 2,096 days.
Ramana Dienes-Browning has not seen her mother Jancis in 452 days.
Mike Rinder has not seen his son Benjamin in 4,754 days.
Brian Sheen has not seen his daughter Spring in 861 days.
Skip Young has not seen his daughters Megan and Alexis for 1,263 days.
Mary Kahn has not seen her son Sammy in 1,136 days.
Lois Reisdorf has not seen her son Craig in 717 days.
Phil and Willie Jones have not seen their son Mike in 1,222 days.
Mary Jane Sterne has not seen her daughter Samantha in 1,466 days.
Kate Bornstein has not seen her daughter Jessica in 12,575 days.


3D-UnbreakablePosted by Tony Ortega on March 22, 2017 at 07:00

E-mail tips and story ideas to tonyo94 AT gmail DOT com or follow us on Twitter. We post behind-the-scenes updates at our Facebook author page. After every new story we send out an alert to our e-mail list and our FB page.

Our book, The Unbreakable Miss Lovely: How the Church of Scientology tried to destroy Paulette Cooper, is on sale at Amazon in paperback, Kindle, and audiobook versions. We’ve posted photographs of Paulette and scenes from her life at a separate location. Reader Sookie put together a complete index. More information about the book, and our 2015 book tour, can also be found at the book’s dedicated page.

The Best of the Underground Bunker, 1995-2016 Just starting out here? We’ve picked out the most important stories we’ve covered here at the Undergound Bunker (2012-2016), The Village Voice (2008-2012), New Times Los Angeles (1999-2002) and the Phoenix New Times (1995-1999)

Learn about Scientology with our numerous series with experts…

BLOGGING DIANETICS: We read Scientology’s founding text cover to cover with the help of L.A. attorney and former church member Vance Woodward
UP THE BRIDGE: Claire Headley and Bruce Hines train us as Scientologists
GETTING OUR ETHICS IN: Jefferson Hawkins explains Scientology’s system of justice
SCIENTOLOGY MYTHBUSTING: Historian Jon Atack discusses key Scientology concepts

Other links: Shelly Miscavige, ten years gone | The Lisa McPherson story told in real time | The Cathriona White stories | The Leah Remini ‘Knowledge Reports’ | Hear audio of a Scientology excommunication | Scientology’s little day care of horrors | Whatever happened to Steve Fishman? | Felony charges for Scientology’s drug rehab scam | Why Scientology digs bomb-proof vaults in the desert | PZ Myers reads L. Ron Hubbard’s “A History of Man” | Scientology’s Master Spies | Scientology’s Private Dancer | The mystery of the richest Scientologist and his wayward sons | Scientology’s shocking mistreatment of the mentally ill | Scientology boasts about assistance from Google | The Underground Bunker’s Official Theme Song | The Underground Bunker FAQ

Our Guide to Alex Gibney’s film ‘Going Clear,’ and our pages about its principal figures…
Jason Beghe | Tom DeVocht | Sara Goldberg | Paul Haggis | Mark “Marty” Rathbun | Mike Rinder | Spanky Taylor | Hana Whitfield


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  • Finally, the music. The song “Scientology” by rap artist Rick Ross.

    “Scientology prophets you better stay in your lane.”

    • Joe

      He’s coming for your crown, Chill E.B.

    • Jimmy3
      • Vaquera

        South By. <3

        • Jimmy3

          He says he met up with a few Scientologists in Cali and they watched a couple episodes of a show… So this is obviously not Leah Remini’s show. But we could play the deduction game… Does Scientology have an episodic series that they show to potential recruits? No, they probably just show short, slick promotional pieces.

          So, assuming he’s probably talking about a show that is not Scientology-produced, but one a Scientology actor or performer is in or has worked on in some capacity… How many shows fit that description? The Ranch? Orange is the new Black? The Jenna Elfman thing that I don’t remember the name of?

          • Jimmy3

            The time frame has to be 2015-2016

          • Vaquera

            Walking Dead?

      • I listened to the Complex interview earlier. Before I did, I thought the song was pretty clearly anti-Scientology because of the reference to the life-long contract, and the line “Scientology prophets you better stay in your lane.”

        Listening to the Complex interview does make things less clear unless, of course, one subscribes to the theory that a work of art (e.g., song, book, move, etc.) stands on its own and should be interpreted based solely on its own content. Leaving the latter theory aside, I got the impression Rick Ross wasn’t prepared for the question, hadn’t previously thought his PR stance through, and was trying not to give offense.

        • Jimmy3

          But the song doesn’t make sense. It’s like Scientology was shoe-horned in for a couple rhymes, and for no reason. There are some seemingly personal references in the song:

          – edit: Sedlmayr

          – Some guy named Craig that is allegedly quick to send hitmen to shoot you. Calm down, Craig.

          – “I hope you go back to college”. It’s not uncommon for rappers to promote legit positivity, and to encourage kids to get an education and be decent. But he says “back to college”, as if he’s speaking to someone personally, knowing they dropped out.

          – I don’t know what any of this means.

  • A quick late update. Kuba Ka has truly embraced his status as an ex-Scientologist.

    • Intergalactic Walrus

      He always looks so sad. I hope that his new ex-clam life brings him some happiness.

      • Qbird

        no kidding. I wonder what happened to him.

        • Intergalactic Walrus

          I think he has a major case of insecurity. And the constant, delusional striving to be a big celebrity must be hard on the soul. He should get a good therapist and work on accepting himself for who he really is.

          • He strikes me as a basically good guy. I think the Church of Scientology Celebrity Centre love-bombed the hell out of him to extract money from him, and took advantage of him. I hope he shows up here to get the support and education he needs as an ex-Scientologist.

            • Intergalactic Walrus

              He seems like someone who easily could be taken advantage of by a slimy cult and doesn’t appear to have many friends to hang out with in LA. I’m sure the CO$ did a number on him. He has a goofy sweetness about him. I like him and I’m glad he got out before they tore him apart.

            • Juicer77

              Dude needs to go volunteer to build homes or schools or something. Stay away from social media. Get his head back on straight, if possible.

      • The sad truth is he looked happy in photos in his previous tweets (now reportedly deleted, I haven’t checked yet) with his “friends” and “family” (a word he’s used a LOT) at CC. My impression is that he has found it painful to discover they were neither.

    • I suspect many ex-Scientologists can relate to what Kuba Ka explains on Instagram:

      * * * * * BEGIN QUOTATION * * * * *

      kubaka_official – @janiecat84 Thank you so much, it is the hardest and most traumatic situation in my Life… I was with all my Heart for Scientology, I found Home away from Home at Scientology Celebrity Centre. I had to decide to leave tough, I had different Idea of it, and I miss my Idea of it…

      * * * * * END QUOTATION * * * * *

  • BREAKING: Kuba Ka’s Charity Birthday Ball is still on, but is being moved from the Scientology Celebrity Centre to a new location.

    • I’ll add that assuming this is for a legitimate charity, which I believe it is, I hope Kuba Ka hosts hundreds of people and raises thousands of dollars. In other words, I want this to be a Big Win.

    • Juicer77

      I dunno… vague charity intentions. Silly meaningless event name. I predict a big fail on this one. If he really wants to do charity work there are tons of less self aggrandizing options out there. In any case, I wish him well with his future endeavors, provided they are truly well-intentioned.

      • I am going to give Kuba Ka the benefit of the doubt unless and until there evidence of bad intent. A lot of celebrities and celebrities-in-progress do charity functions that also serve as PR. That is part of the gig of being a celebrity. As long as the charity is legitimate, which I assume is true absent contrary evidence, I don’t care. Few celebrities or celebrities-in-progress are, or could afford to be, anything but self-aggrandizing to some extent.

        Indeed, it appears the probability the charity will be legitimate was greatly, if not infinitely, enhanced when the venue was changed from CC to some other location.

  • mrssandoval

    This is legitimately the dumbest thing I’ve ever seen/heard. Stopped listening as he clicked on ABC News.
    First, he says “aboot” instead of “about.” Canadian? No. Probably Minnesotan.

    Be it his nerd lingo, his “beep-beep-boop” cadence, I can safely ascertain some facts about the creature who created the video:
    He’s morbidly obese/looks like Jabba the Hutt; he most-likely lives with his parents, or at least some relative; he may have taken a course or two at one of those Internet-based, tv commercial colleges; when he’s not busy googling conspiracies, he’s playing world of Warcraft, or full-on humping his “real girl doll”; his odor is immeasurable, and people shift seats while next to him on the bus, which he’s on just to go to a porn shop and/or a comic book store.

    Did I nail it? Can anyone reveal who/what he is? I’m a Vegas girl, so does anyone wanna bet?

  • Andrew Robertson

    Oh No..Xenu’s stirring again!

    4.8 at 8:51 pm, Thu 23/3…a few miles up the road

    Andrew (Opens bottle of wine.)

    • Juicer77

      A friend who recently moved there has been dealing with the frequent earthquakes. He’s lived there before so he’s used to it but I think it would freak me out at first. Hope there’s no damage!

      • Todd Tomorrow

        I was in one really bad one in Seattle. They weren’t that common so it was very traumatic for the city. My 1920’s brick flat didn’t take it too well. The second one I was in the 53rd floor of a health club in the steam room by myself. I thought I was having an acid flashback. I came out and a startled naked man just pointed to the lights and they were swinging. We couldn’t get out of there quick enough. My thoughts are with my Kiwi friend’s.

        • Juicer77

          Sounds almost as good as Chris Shelton’s earthquake-in-a-towel story! Glad nobody was hurt.

        • Bobby Tolberto aka TDA

          I’ve been in the Wittier Narrows, the Loma Prieta, and one in St. Louis in the late ’70s. I’m beginning to feel like a seismic version of Typhoid Mary.

  • Juicer77

    Welcome, newbies and lurkers and under-the-radars. There’s fresh coffee brewing and the tea kettle is boiling. Help yourself.
    UK Bunkerites, I’ll make you some builder’s tea to take on your way to work.

    • Graham

      Erm. Just for the record: I don’t like my tea too strong 😉

      • Juicer77

        Noted. 😉

  • Dan Lybarger

    Thanks, Tony. I haven’t had this good a laugh in some time.

    I enjoyed the bizarre table at the beginning showing several seemingly unrelated entities that had a “444” classification. According to this guy, Muhammad, Jews and Oregon all have this rating. This looks like it was shot by Tim and Eric but was narrated by Bob and Doug McKenzie after a few too many of their favorite beverages.

    I also enjoyed the not-so-helpful pointer.

  • Scream Nevermore

    Currently engaged in trying to get a terminally ill cat to eat, so thanks for the laughs – nucking futcase video!

    • Sine qua non

      Watermarked canned salmon or tuna juice?

    • Ann B Watson

      I am very sad Scream, I have been through what you are going through with all my baby kitties and doggies when their bodies start to fail. My Jade cat is now 18 & her late sister Kona flew higher at 13 after a year battle with cancer caused by the vaccinations we faithfully did each year to keep her well. An inside cat Always as mine all are and my vet now only gives vacs in the tail because Kona was the one in ten thousand cats to get this. Here is her pix, but always in my heart and near me. May you and your baby feel peace and love.