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Scientology fundraising goes down the rabbit hole in the most oblivious flier ever!

 
Last week we had a lot of fun with one of the craziest fundraising fliers we’ve seen come out of Scientology. Not only was it one of these super-long documents that went on and on, in this case about raising money for an “Ideal Org” in Toronto, but it also had a “Mission Earth” theme, which we haven’t seen before.

The result was maybe the most mindblowing long flier we’ve ever seen come from Ideal Org money-grubbing, and that’s saying a lot.

Well, Toronto isn’t sitting still. This week they put out yet another super-long post-event flier, and themed around Alice in Wonderland.

Yes, can they get any more oblivious to the kind of organization they’re in when they’re telling their marks they’re going “down the rabbit hole”? Does this stuff just not register with them?

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Well, once again we had to break up the flier into small pieces just to get them to post correctly here, and we may be going over your email size limit. But come on over to tonyortega.substack.com to see this post in its entirety if that’s the case.

OK, curiouser and curiouser, here we go down the rabbit hole!

 








 
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Technology Cocktail

“As a writer in the New York area, I used to go down to the Village with some of the boys and used to have some knock-down-drag-out arguments, discussions, personal feuds, brawlings, etc. We were always doing something wild or weird. A crowd of us went up to Sing Sing one time just to see how it felt to sit in an electric chair. We were always having criminals and things electrocuted in stories. In order to know how they felt we walked through the green door. We were always doing something like this and life looked very alive and full, and it seemed impossible to reach through it or to it or to exhaust it in any way.” — L. Ron Hubbard, 1957

 
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THE PROSECUTION OF DANNY MASTERSON

We first broke the news of the LAPD’s investigation of Scientology celebrity Danny Masterson on rape allegations in 2017, and we’ve been covering the story every step of the way since then. At this page we’ve collected our most important links as Danny faces a potential sentence of 45 years to life in prison. NOW WITH TRIAL INDEX.

 
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THE PODCAST: How many have you heard?

[1] Marc Headley [2] Claire Headley [3] Jeffrey Augustine [4] Bruce Hines [5] Sunny Pereira [6] Pete Griffiths [7] Geoff Levin [8] Patty Moher [9] Marc Headley [10] Jefferson Hawkins [11] Michelle ‘Emma’ Ryan [12] Paulette Cooper [13] Jesse Prince [14] Mark Bunker [15] Jon Atack [16] Mirriam Francis [17] Bruce Hines on MSH

— SPECIAL: The best TV show on Scientology you never got to see

[1] Phil Jones [2] Derek Bloch [3] Carol Nyburg [4] Katrina Reyes [5] Jamie DeWolf

— The first Danny Masterson trial and beyond

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[18] Trial special with Chris Shelton [19] Trial week one [20] Marc Headley on the spy in the hallway [21] Trial week two [22] Trial week three [23] Trial week four [24] Leah Remini on LAPD Corruption [25] Mike Rinder 2022 Thanksgiving Special [26] Jane Doe 4 (Tricia Vessey), Part One [27] Jane Doe 4 (Tricia Vessey), Part Two [28] Claire Headley on the trial [29] Tory Christman [30] Bruce Hines on spying [31] Karen de la Carriere [32] Ron Miscavige on Shelly Miscavige [33] Karen de la Carriere on the L’s [34] Mark Bunker on Miscavige hiding [35] Mark Plummer [36] Mark Ebner [37] Karen Pressley [38] Steve Cannane [39] Fredrick Brennan [40] Clarissa Adams

 
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Source Code

“The person who is suppressing thetans has an invisible field. He has a total nothingness involved and other types of suppression. So you’ll have suppression of visible things, suppression of invisible things, suppression of matter, energy, space, time. You get suppression of almost anything you can think of. And anytime you suppress anything in a certain time stream, you, of course, are also suppressing time. So time becomes the primary suppression. And therefore, you get the instantaneous quality of the reactive bank, so that all time is now in the reactive bank because of the suppression of the reactive bank. And that is simply not-isness in the reactive bank.” — L. Ron Hubbard, March 19, 1962

 
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Avast, Ye Mateys

“THIS PORT: The Charterers play this port in lower key without press as press is restrained here. Otherwise it’s all as in PRO cruise.” — The Commodore, March 19, 1970

 
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Overheard in the FreeZone

“Scientologists in general and Scientology OTs in particular are highly commended for attending the Trump Rally of January 6, 2021 at Washington DC. This ensured that the Rally remained peaceful in general. The rally had been sabotaged by Democrats and federal agencies. They had plans to turn it into a false flag attack on the Capitol to be blamed on Trump supporters and conservatives. Peaceful Trump supporters could be seen stopping antifas in disguise from destroying the building, and the mere presence and awareness of Scientologists and OTs changed history and so the pre-planned false flag attack on the Capitol failed miserably.”

 

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Past is Prologue

2001: The film Battlefield Earth, based on a book by L. Ron Hubbard, won seven “Razzie” awards, given to the worst films of the year. From CBC news: “The jurors of the 21st annual Golden Raspberry Foundation had little difficulty selecting the absolutely rottenest movie of the year: Battlefield Earth. The movie starring John Travolta won seven ‘Razzies’ for worst movie, worst actor, worst supporting actor, worst supporting actress, worst director, worst screen couple, and worst screenplay. Battlefield Earth was a runaway winner over such dismal contenders as Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2 and The Next Best Thing. ‘It was actually a cakewalk for jurors. Battlefield was truly wretched,’ said John Wilson, founder of Golden Raspberry Foundation.”

 
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Random Howdy

“I love a good yodel. I think I’m going to have to upload some yodeling vids here shortly. I found some good ones by Nina Hagen and Jewel. I’ll let the people decide democratically.”

 
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Full Court Press: What we’re watching at the Underground Bunker

Criminal prosecutions:
Danny Masterson charged for raping three women: Mistrial declared November 30. Retrial scheduled, jury selection begins March 29. Next pretrial hearing: Feb 16.
‘Lafayette Ronald Hubbard’ (a/k/a Justin Craig), aggravated assault, plus drug charges: Grand jury indictments include charges from an assault while in custody. Next pretrial hearing Feb 13.
Rizza Islam, Medi-Cal fraud: Trial scheduled for March 1 in Los Angeles
David Gentile, GPB Capital, fraud: Next status conference Feb 13.

Civil litigation:
Baxter, Baxter, and Paris v. Scientology, alleging labor trafficking: Complaint filed April 28 in Tampa federal court, Scientology moving to compel arbitration. Plaintiffs filed amended complaint on August 2. Hearing November 17 to argue the arbitration motions, awaiting ruling.
Valerie Haney v. Scientology: Forced to ‘religious arbitration.’ Selection of arbitrators underway. Next court hearing: March 15, 2023.
Chrissie Bixler et al. v. Scientology and Danny Masterson: Appellate court removes requirement of arbitration on January 19, case remanded back to Superior Court. Stay in place at least through February 7.
Author Steve Cannane defamation trial: New trial ordered after appeals court overturned prior ruling.
Chiropractors Steve Peyroux and Brent Detelich, stem cell fraud: Lawsuit filed by the FTC and state of Georgia in August, now in discovery phase.

 
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SCIENTOLOGY: FAIR GAME

After the success of their double-Emmy-winning, three-season A&E series ‘Scientology and the Aftermath,’ Leah Remini and Mike Rinder continue the conversation on their podcast, ‘Scientology: Fair Game.’ We’ve created a landing page where you can hear all of the episodes so far.

LEAH REMINI: SCIENTOLOGY AND THE AFTERMATH

An episode-by-episode guide to Leah Remini’s three-season, double-Emmy winning series that changed everything for Scientology watching. Originally aired from 2016 to 2019 on the A&E network, and now on Netflix.

SCIENTOLOGY’S CELEBRITIES, from A to Z

Find your favorite Hubbardite celeb at this index page — or suggest someone to add to the list!

 
Other links: SCIENTOLOGY BLACK OPS: Tom Cruise and dirty tricks. Scientology’s Ideal Orgs, from one end of the planet to the other. Scientology’s sneaky front groups, spreading the good news about L. Ron Hubbard while pretending to benefit society. Scientology Lit: Books reviewed or excerpted in a weekly series. How many have you read?

 
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THE WHOLE TRACK

[ONE year ago] Scientology just sent its celebs the longest email in history. It’s an orgy of propaganda!
[TWO years ago] It’s wedding bells for Scientology celeb and ‘The Walking Dead’ alum Alanna Masterson
[THREE years ago] David Miscavige deposition in sex abuse lawsuit canceled after Scientology pushes back
[FOUR years ago] Cops, soft porn, and psychiatry: The curious origin of Scientology’s Snow White Program
[FIVE years ago] Not-ready-for-Scientology TV: L. Ron Hubbard’s fortune telling tricks still being sold today
[SIX years ago] Scientology’s pitch to Clearwater: Let us buy land for hotel, and we’ll gussy up downtown
[SEVEN years ago] A Scientology spy comes forward: Now he’s ready for ‘war’ with David Miscavige
[EIGHT years ago] ‘Going Clear’ fallout: Imagining the fate of Scientology and David Miscavige
[NINE years ago] Finally, a last stand against space cooties: It’s Scientology’s New Operating Thetan Level 7!
[TEN years ago] Early On, Scientology Turns You Into a Snitch
[ELEVEN years ago] FBI Investigation of Scientology: Already Over Before We Even Heard of It

 
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Scientology disconnection, a reminder

Bernie Headley (1952-2019) did not see his daughter Stephanie in his final 5,667 days.
Valerie Haney has not seen her mother Lynne in 2,973 days.
Katrina Reyes has not seen her mother Yelena in 3,478 days
Sylvia Wagner DeWall has not seen her brother Randy in 3,028 days.
Brian Sheen has not seen his grandson Leo in 2,018 days.
Geoff Levin has not seen his son Collin and daughter Savannah in 1,909 days.
Christie Collbran has not seen her mother Liz King in 5,213 days.
Clarissa Adams has not seen her parents Walter and Irmin Huber in 3,084 days.
Doug Kramer has not seen his parents Linda and Norm in 2,189 days.
Jamie Sorrentini Lugli has not seen her father Irving in 4,666 days.
Quailynn McDaniel has not seen her brother Sean in 3,978 days.
Dylan Gill has not seen his father Russell in 12,544 days.
Melissa Paris has not seen her father Jean-Francois in 8,463 days.
Valeska Paris has not seen her brother Raphael in 4,631 days.
Mirriam Francis has not seen her brother Ben in 4,212 days.
Claudio and Renata Lugli have not seen their son Flavio in 4,473 days.
Sara Goldberg has not seen her daughter Ashley in 3,509 days.
Lori Hodgson has not seen her son Jeremy and daughter Jessica in 3,225 days.
Marie Bilheimer has not seen her mother June in 2,789 days.
Julian Wain has not seen his brother Joseph or mother Susan in 1,104 days.
Charley Updegrove has not seen his son Toby in 2,279 days.
Joe Reaiche has not seen his daughter Alanna Masterson in 6,830 days
Derek Bloch has not seen his father Darren in 3,961 days.
Cindy Plahuta has not seen her daughter Kara in 4,299 days.
Roger Weller has not seen his daughter Alyssa in 9,154 days.
Claire Headley has not seen her mother Gen in 4,273 days.
Ramana Dienes-Browning has not seen her mother Jancis in 2,629 days.
Mike Rinder has not seen his son Benjamin and daughter Taryn in 6,932 days.
Brian Sheen has not seen his daughter Spring in 3,038 days.
Skip Young has not seen his daughters Megan and Alexis in 3,436 days.
Mary Kahn has not seen her son Sammy in 3,312 days.
Lois Reisdorf has not seen her son Craig in 2,895 days.
Phil and Willie Jones have not seen their son Mike and daughter Emily in 3,390 days.
Mary Jane Barry has not seen her daughter Samantha in 3,644 days.
Kate Bornstein has not seen her daughter Jessica in 14,753 days.

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Posted by Tony Ortega on March 19, 2023 at 07:00

E-mail tips to tonyo94 AT gmail DOT com or follow us on Twitter. We also post updates at our Facebook author page. After every new story we send out an alert to our e-mail list and our FB page.

Our new book with Paulette Cooper, Battlefield Scientology: Exposing L. Ron Hubbard’s dangerous ‘religion’ is now on sale at Amazon in paperback and Kindle formats. Our book about Paulette, The Unbreakable Miss Lovely: How the Church of Scientology tried to destroy Paulette Cooper, is on sale at Amazon in paperback, Kindle, and audiobook versions. We’ve posted photographs of Paulette and scenes from her life at a separate location. Reader Sookie put together a complete index. More information can also be found at the book’s dedicated page.

The Best of the Underground Bunker, 1995-2021 Just starting out here? We’ve picked out the most important stories we’ve covered here at the Underground Bunker (2012-2021), The Village Voice (2008-2012), New Times Los Angeles (1999-2002) and the Phoenix New Times (1995-1999)

Other links: BLOGGING DIANETICS: Reading Scientology’s founding text cover to cover | UP THE BRIDGE: Claire Headley and Bruce Hines train us as Scientologists | GETTING OUR ETHICS IN: Jefferson Hawkins explains Scientology’s system of justice | SCIENTOLOGY MYTHBUSTING: Historian Jon Atack discusses key Scientology concepts | Shelly Miscavige, 15 years gone | The Lisa McPherson story told in real time | The Cathriona White stories | The Leah Remini ‘Knowledge Reports’ | Hear audio of a Scientology excommunication | Scientology’s little day care of horrors | Whatever happened to Steve Fishman? | Felony charges for Scientology’s drug rehab scam | Why Scientology digs bomb-proof vaults in the desert | PZ Myers reads L. Ron Hubbard’s “A History of Man” | Scientology’s Master Spies | The mystery of the richest Scientologist and his wayward sons | Scientology’s shocking mistreatment of the mentally ill | The Underground Bunker’s Official Theme Song | The Underground Bunker FAQ

Watch our short videos that explain Scientology’s controversies in three minutes or less…

Check your whale level at our dedicated page for status updates, or join us at the Underground Bunker’s Facebook discussion group for more frivolity.

Our non-Scientology stories: Robert Burnham Jr., the man who inscribed the universe | Notorious alt-right inspiration Kevin MacDonald and his theories about Jewish DNA | The selling of the “Phoenix Lights” | Astronomer Harlow Shapley‘s FBI file | Sex, spies, and local TV news | Battling Babe-Hounds: Ross Jeffries v. R. Don Steele

 

Tony Ortega at The Daily Beast

 

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