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Why the Golden Globes is joking about Tom Cruise, Shelly Miscavige, and Scientology

[Jerrod Carmichael made a funny]

Thank you to everyone who messaged or tweeted us last night about host Jerrod Carmichael’s joke about Tom Cruise, Shelly Miscavige, and Scientology on the Golden Globes broadcast.

Not only was it a pointed jab at Scientology and the missing wife of its ruthless leader, David Miscavige, but it was wrapped up in a history with the Globes that we thought we ought to briefly review to put the joke in some context.

In 2011, when he was hosting the Golden Globes broadcast, comedian Ricky Gervais quipped, “Jim Carrey and Ewan McGregor — two heterosexual actors pretending to be gay, so the complete opposite of some famous Scientologists then.”

It appeared to be a reference to Scientology celebrities John Travolta and Tom Cruise without using their names. Cruise has long been the subject of jokes about his sexual orientation, but journalists who seriously cover him will tell you there’s nothing to it. Still, we have a feeling that the joke stung, and particularly because it was said on an awards program that has recognized Cruise three times, for best actor in Born on the Fourth of July and Jerry Maguire, and for best supporting actor in Magnolia. (The Oscar, meanwhile, has eluded him.)


In February 2021, the Los Angeles Times revealed that none of the 87 foreign journalists who made up the Hollywood Foreign Press Association and who nominated winners for the Golden Globes were Black. And this was at a time when some prominent, critically-acclaimed films by Black artists had not been nominated for awards. Then in April, the HFPA expelled former eight-time president Philip Berk for sending a racist email about the BLM movement. On May 6, the HFPA announced that it had voted on sweeping reforms and was committed to growing its membership and focusing on recruiting more Black members.

Despite the HFPA’s move toward reform, four days later Tom Cruise announced that he was returning all three of his Golden Globe awards. NBC, meanwhile, announced that it wouldn’t be showing the 2022 awards show, which was held at the Beverly Hilton Hotel with no attendees, because of an increase in Covid cases.

This year’s program marked a return of the awards program to NBC, and a chance for the HFPA to attempt a comeback. And that’s the setup for this joke from last night’s host, Jerrod Carmichael.

Backstage, I found these three Golden Globe awards that Tom Cruise returned. Look, I’m just the host briefly, whatever, but I have a pitch: I think maybe we take these three things and exchange them for the safe return of Shelly Miscavige.

OK, he mispronounced “Miscavige” (It’s Miss-CAV-idge, not MISS-ca-vitch), but still, it was a pretty fun jab by the HFPA back at Tom Cruise, and at Scientology, which had so much influence in Hollywood in the 1990s but that is now waning.

And the best part, of course, is that a few million more people have heard Shelly’s name and might be wondering what that was all about.

Every Christmas day, we review what we know about Shelly, who vanished from Scientology’s secretive Int Base in 2005, and has not been seen since she attended the funeral of her father in 2007. We have a very good idea of where she’s being kept, and we also discuss what law enforcement has done (or not done) about her apparent banishment by her husband.

We know that Shelly may be resigned to her fate. And some former Scientologists seem to think that she may actually be content with her situation. But our own reporting suggests that Shelly knows she is a prisoner, and that she no longer even has the freedom to communicate with her own sisters or other family members.

When will the press start taking Shelly’s fate more seriously, and demand that Tom Cruise answer some questions about where his best friend Dave is keeping his wife and why she can never leave her mountain compound?


Technology Cocktail

“What are the symptoms of loss of havingness? Running any as-ising techniques the preclear may become anaten, or he may become slightly nervous or agitated, or want a cigarette, or seem to break out of the session in some fashion. In either case, he is ‘down on havingness.’ In other words he has burned up, used up, or as-ised, too much of his physical body energy in the auditing itself.” — L. Ron Hubbard, 1956




We first broke the news of the LAPD’s investigation of Scientology celebrity Danny Masterson on rape allegations in 2017, and we’ve been covering the story every step of the way since then. At this page we’ve collected our most important links as Danny faces a potential sentence of 45 years to life in prison. NOW WITH TRIAL INDEX.


THE PODCAST: How many have you heard?

— The Underground Bunker Podcast

[1] Marc Headley [2] Claire Headley [3] Jeffrey Augustine [4] Bruce Hines [5] Sunny Pereira [6] Pete Griffiths [7] Geoff Levin [8] Patty Moher [9] Marc Headley [10] Jefferson Hawkins [11] Michelle ‘Emma’ Ryan [12] Paulette Cooper [13] Jesse Prince [14] Mark Bunker [15] Jon Atack [16] Mirriam Francis [17] Bruce Hines on MSH

— SPECIAL: The best TV show on Scientology you never got to see

[1] Phil Jones [2] Derek Bloch [3] Carol Nyburg [4] Katrina Reyes [5] Jamie DeWolf

— SPECIAL: Your Proprietor’s updates on the Danny Masterson trial

[1] Sep 21 [2] Sep 28 [3] Oct 4 [4] Oct 10 [5] Oct 11: Day One [6] Oct 12: Day Two [7] Oct 13: Day Three [8] Oct 17: Day Four [9] Oct 18: Day Five [10] Oct 19: Day Six [11] Special interview with Chris Shelton, Oct 19 [12] Oct 20: Day Seven [13] Oct 21: Day Eight [14] First week in review, with Jeffrey Augustine [15] Oct 24: Day Nine [16] Oct 25: Day Ten [17] Oct 27: Day Eleven [18] Oct 28: Day Twelve [19] Second week in review, with Jeffrey Augustine [20] Halloween special [21] Nov 2: Day Thirteen [22] Nov 3: Day Fourteen [23] Nov 4: Day Fifteen [24] Third week in review [25] Nov 5, Saturday special [26] Nov 6, Sunday special [27] Nov 7, Day Sixteen [28] Lisa Marie Presley breaking news [29] Nov 8, Day Seventeen [30] Nov 9, Day Eighteen [31] Nov 10, Day Nineteen



Source Code

“And this is what? Eleventh of Jan. The mystic month. And we are finding ourselves in the middle of — no, it’s at the beginning — What cycle are you in? Well, anyhow, it’s on a planet, on a twelfth-rate sun, and it’s the beginning of the, it’s shortly after the winter solstice. Saint Hill Special Briefing Course. Well, if you lived right and if you knew what you were doing and many other unlikely activities, you have it made. But we have to assume, we have to assume that if none of you have grown wings in the last 24 hours and you actually have had a PC on an E-Meter as an auditor and the PC hasn’t grown wings in the last 24 hours with all the tools which you’ve got, we must assume that there is some faint disconnection between what I am trying to teach you and what you are doing. I would say there’s some small gap. Maybe not a large gap. Maybe only a light year or two.” — L. Ron Hubbard, January 11, 1962


Avast, Ye Mateys

“The Auditing Completions are starting to roll in. With a wow and a hurrah! Some important people have gotten some lovely gains lately. At the other end of it, 2 of those leaving came through it. We have the planet by the tail.” — The Commodore, January 11, 1971


Overheard in the FreeZone

“Warning for the true believers, maybe dont read: After someone goes Clear in Scientology they are encouraged to quickly get to OT3. They are warned that they are now vulnerable to problems or something, and that they must get to OT3 as quickly as possible. Now this is a good marketing tool, it encourages one to continue with Scientology even though they have gone Clear. They must for their own safety. Its like the government encouraging us to get vaccinated for our safety, it’s all about scaring someone into behaving how you want them to. Because some people were in the religion just to achieve Clear, this warning makes them think ‘Oh, I’m vulnerable, I must continue doing Scientology.’ So it’s a good way of keeping them around and getting them to buy their next level and do it asap. Which is what salesman always do, ‘you must buy now!’”


Past is Prologue


1997: A letter signed by an array of Hollywood celebrities to the German government attracted news coverage this week. The letter criticized the treatment of Scientologists in that country. The most notable signatories were Goldie Hawn, Dustin Hoffman, Larry King, Mario Puzo, Aaron Spelling, Oliver Stone and Gore Vidal. The letter reads, in part: “We have signed this letter to indicate our deep concern at the invidious discrimination against Scientologists practised in your country and by your own party. We are not Scientologists, but we cannot just look the other way while this appalling situation continues and grows. Individuals guilty of no crime but believing in Scientology are banned from German political parties, including your own. Scientologists cannot obtain employment by your government or contracts with that government. Children have been excluded from schools because their parents are Scientologists. Your Minister of Labor proposed the adoption of a ban on Scientologists from all positions of public service. And – like the book burning of the 1930s – your party has organized boycotts and seeks to ban performances of Tom Cruise, John Travolta, Chick Corea and any other artist who believes in Scientology.”


Random Howdy

“If Scientology could, then based solely on the words of L Ron Hubbard they would be gladly killing ‘infidels’ who refused to convert.”


Full Court Press: What we’re watching at the Underground Bunker

Criminal prosecutions:
Danny Masterson charged for raping three women: Mistrial declared November 30. Status conference scheduled January 10, retrial scheduled March 27.
‘Lafayette Ronald Hubbard’ (a/k/a Justin Craig), aggravated assault, plus drug charges: Grand jury indictments include charges from an assault while in custody. Plea deadline scheduled for December 16.
Jay and Jeff Spina, Medicare fraud: Jay sentenced to 9 years in prison. Jeff scheduled to time served with three years supervised release, restitution of $9.7 million.
Rizza Islam, Medi-Cal fraud: Trial scheduled for March 1 in Los Angeles
David Gentile, GPB Capital, fraud: Next pretrial hearing December 9.
Yanti Mike Greene, Scientology private eye accused of contempt of court: Found guilty of criminal and civil contempt.

Civil litigation:
Baxter, Baxter, and Paris v. Scientology, alleging labor trafficking: Complaint filed April 28 in Tampa federal court, Scientology moving to compel arbitration. Plaintiffs filed amended complaint on August 2. Hearing November 17 to argue the arbitration motions, awaiting ruling.
Valerie Haney v. Scientology: Forced to ‘religious arbitration.’ Selection of arbitrators underway. Next court hearing: February 2, 2023.
Chrissie Bixler et al. v. Scientology and Danny Masterson: Appellate court removes requirement of arbitration on January 19, case remanded back to Superior Court. Stay in place at least through February 7.
Brian Statler Sr v. City of Inglewood: Case settled ahead of scheduled Dec 6 trial.
Author Steve Cannane defamation trial: New trial ordered after appeals court overturned prior ruling.
Chiropractors Steve Peyroux and Brent Detelich, stem cell fraud: Lawsuit filed by the FTC and state of Georgia in August, now in discovery phase.



After the success of their double-Emmy-winning, three-season A&E series ‘Scientology and the Aftermath,’ Leah Remini and Mike Rinder continue the conversation on their podcast, ‘Scientology: Fair Game.’ We’ve created a landing page where you can hear all of the episodes so far.


An episode-by-episode guide to Leah Remini’s three-season, double-Emmy winning series that changed everything for Scientology watching. Originally aired from 2016 to 2019 on the A&E network, and now on Netflix.


Find your favorite Hubbardite celeb at this index page — or suggest someone to add to the list!

Other links: SCIENTOLOGY BLACK OPS: Tom Cruise and dirty tricks. Scientology’s Ideal Orgs, from one end of the planet to the other. Scientology’s sneaky front groups, spreading the good news about L. Ron Hubbard while pretending to benefit society. Scientology Lit: Books reviewed or excerpted in a weekly series. How many have you read?


[ONE year ago] Scientology’s Los Angeles center is rumbling again, and we’re here for it!
[TWO years ago] Scientology celebrates even more wealthy donors, and we’re happy to lend a helping hand
[THREE years ago] Sonya Bianchi, 1927-2020: Hubbard’s first ‘Clear’ who vanished from Scientology history
[FOUR years ago] Kansas City: Don’t panic. Your skyline is screwed, but Scientology isn’t taking over.
[FIVE years ago] Scientology’s ‘scripture’ includes a thoroughly debunked mammoth-meat hoax
[SIX years ago] Last night’s family on ‘Leah Remini’ found themselves targeted by Scientology attack site
[SEVEN years ago] David Bowie, 1947-2016
[NINE years ago] Yes, that was a Scientology ad you saw during the football game — we told you it was coming!
[TEN years ago] Blogging Dianetics, Part 2: The State of Clear!
[ELEVEN years ago] Scientology’s “Super Power Rundown:” What is it, Anyway?


Scientology disconnection, a reminder

Bernie Headley (1952-2019) did not see his daughter Stephanie in his final 5,667 days.
Valerie Haney has not seen her mother Lynne in 2,906 days.
Katrina Reyes has not seen her mother Yelena in 3,411 days
Sylvia Wagner DeWall has not seen her brother Randy in 2,961 days.
Brian Sheen has not seen his grandson Leo in 1,951 days.
Geoff Levin has not seen his son Collin and daughter Savannah in 1,842 days.
Christie Collbran has not seen her mother Liz King in 5,147 days.
Clarissa Adams has not seen her parents Walter and Irmin Huber in 3,017 days.
Doug Kramer has not seen his parents Linda and Norm in 2,122 days.
Jamie Sorrentini Lugli has not seen her father Irving in 4,595 days.
Quailynn McDaniel has not seen her brother Sean in 3,911 days.
Dylan Gill has not seen his father Russell in 12,477 days.
Melissa Paris has not seen her father Jean-Francois in 8,396 days.
Valeska Paris has not seen her brother Raphael in 4,564 days.
Mirriam Francis has not seen her brother Ben in 4,145 days.
Claudio and Renata Lugli have not seen their son Flavio in 4,406 days.
Sara Goldberg has not seen her daughter Ashley in 3,442 days.
Lori Hodgson has not seen her son Jeremy and daughter Jessica in 3,157 days.
Marie Bilheimer has not seen her mother June in 2,722 days.
Julian Wain has not seen his brother Joseph or mother Susan in 1,037 days.
Charley Updegrove has not seen his son Toby in 2,212 days.
Joe Reaiche has not seen his daughter Alanna Masterson in 6,763 days
Derek Bloch has not seen his father Darren in 3,894 days.
Cindy Plahuta has not seen her daughter Kara in 4,232 days.
Roger Weller has not seen his daughter Alyssa in 9,087 days.
Claire Headley has not seen her mother Gen in 4,206 days.
Ramana Dienes-Browning has not seen her mother Jancis in 2,562 days.
Mike Rinder has not seen his son Benjamin and daughter Taryn in 6,865 days.
Brian Sheen has not seen his daughter Spring in 2,971 days.
Skip Young has not seen his daughters Megan and Alexis in 3,369 days.
Mary Kahn has not seen her son Sammy in 3,245 days.
Lois Reisdorf has not seen her son Craig in 2,828 days.
Phil and Willie Jones have not seen their son Mike and daughter Emily in 3,323 days.
Mary Jane Barry has not seen her daughter Samantha in 3,577 days.
Kate Bornstein has not seen her daughter Jessica in 14,686 days.


Posted by Tony Ortega on January 11, 2023 at 07:00

E-mail tips to tonyo94 AT gmail DOT com or follow us on Twitter. We also post updates at our Facebook author page. After every new story we send out an alert to our e-mail list and our FB page.

Our new book with Paulette Cooper, Battlefield Scientology: Exposing L. Ron Hubbard’s dangerous ‘religion’ is now on sale at Amazon in paperback and Kindle formats. Our book about Paulette, The Unbreakable Miss Lovely: How the Church of Scientology tried to destroy Paulette Cooper, is on sale at Amazon in paperback, Kindle, and audiobook versions. We’ve posted photographs of Paulette and scenes from her life at a separate location. Reader Sookie put together a complete index. More information can also be found at the book’s dedicated page.

The Best of the Underground Bunker, 1995-2021 Just starting out here? We’ve picked out the most important stories we’ve covered here at the Underground Bunker (2012-2021), The Village Voice (2008-2012), New Times Los Angeles (1999-2002) and the Phoenix New Times (1995-1999)

Other links: BLOGGING DIANETICS: Reading Scientology’s founding text cover to cover | UP THE BRIDGE: Claire Headley and Bruce Hines train us as Scientologists | GETTING OUR ETHICS IN: Jefferson Hawkins explains Scientology’s system of justice | SCIENTOLOGY MYTHBUSTING: Historian Jon Atack discusses key Scientology concepts | Shelly Miscavige, 15 years gone | The Lisa McPherson story told in real time | The Cathriona White stories | The Leah Remini ‘Knowledge Reports’ | Hear audio of a Scientology excommunication | Scientology’s little day care of horrors | Whatever happened to Steve Fishman? | Felony charges for Scientology’s drug rehab scam | Why Scientology digs bomb-proof vaults in the desert | PZ Myers reads L. Ron Hubbard’s “A History of Man” | Scientology’s Master Spies | The mystery of the richest Scientologist and his wayward sons | Scientology’s shocking mistreatment of the mentally ill | The Underground Bunker’s Official Theme Song | The Underground Bunker FAQ

Watch our short videos that explain Scientology’s controversies in three minutes or less…

Check your whale level at our dedicated page for status updates, or join us at the Underground Bunker’s Facebook discussion group for more frivolity.

Our non-Scientology stories: Robert Burnham Jr., the man who inscribed the universe | Notorious alt-right inspiration Kevin MacDonald and his theories about Jewish DNA | The selling of the “Phoenix Lights” | Astronomer Harlow Shapley‘s FBI file | Sex, spies, and local TV news | Battling Babe-Hounds: Ross Jeffries v. R. Don Steele


Tony Ortega at The Daily Beast


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