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Scientology features director’s mom as John Malkovich movie hits theaters

We want to thank Mark Bunker for pointing out that over at one of its propaganda outlets, an anonymously-edited “blog” at the Patheos site, Scientology yesterday featured one of those POW-style videos praising church leader David Miscavige that we told you about a few months ago.

“Does your religion produce hostage video raves about the current leader?” Mark asked.

As we pointed out in January, there are 96 videos praising Miscavige that are assembled on Miscavige’s own personal site, and they feature some pretty notable figures. We highlighted, for example, wealthy whale Tom Cummins, Neil Gaiman’s mom Sheila Gaiman and sister Lizzy Calcioli, actress Judy Norton, software maven Craig Jensen, notorious spy Russell Andrews’ wife Fran, Religious Freedom Watch guy Joel Phillips, and notable art subject Kannon Feshbach.

Apparently, Scientology’s minions feed these videos to the Patheos site on occasion, and the latest, posted yesterday and noticed by Bunker, featured Joanie Sigal, as you can see above.


Here’s what Joanie said about Dear Leader…

Over the last ten, fifteen years our religion has experienced monumental expansion, and I know for a fact that that is directly because of Church leadership and most specifically David Miscavige. Because I know from having met him, from having spoken to him and from having listened to him talk over those years. I know of his integrity. I know of his unending dedication to making sure that the Church expands. And that all of us who are members of the Church receive one hundred percent standard Scientology and Dianetics.

If someone were to ask me, “What is Dave Miscavige like?” I would say that he has impeccable manners. He is extremely personable. He is funny as all get-out. He is, he has very high affinity and liking for people. He has a huge amount of care for the people that are around him, and from my viewpoint he cares for everyone within Scientology and without Scientology. So, he’s a very big guy and he can embrace a huge group and a huge movement and I just thank our lucky stars that he’s at our helm, because that’s why we’re experiencing the growth that we are now.

It’s precious, isn’t it? “Very big guy.” Sure.

But we thought what made it a little more interesting is that on Friday, the movie Chariot we told you about recently opened in theaters, a science fiction film written and directed by Joanie’s son, Scientologist Adam Sigal.

Here’s the family, featured in a past issue of Tampa Bay magazine when an earlier film of Adam’s, 2007’s Daydreamer, was opening…


Chariot was written, directed, and produced by Scientologists and stars John Malkovich, who has no affiliation with the church that we’re aware of.

Our good old friend Luke Y. Thompson reviewed the film and said it showed some promising elements, but they really didn’t hang together.

Chariot certainly doesn’t lack ambition, just execution. From the cast to its odd, intriguing locations, Sigal was successful in assembling many of the right ingredients. Unfortunately, they lack a chef who knows how to properly combine them, whether that’s to create a meaningful sense of cohesion or to truly create the kind of beautiful chaos that makes Lynch such a mesmerizing source of inspiration.

But hey, even if the film’s a bit of a mess, the director’s mom is a big fan of the Chairman of the Board and says he’s leading the church to monumental expansion! Hip, hip, hooray!



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Source Code

“I remember training generals in Egypt. It was difficult. You say, ‘When fighting Numidians, you inevitably and invariably make very certain that your flanks are secure, because the Numidian — because of horses and that sort of thing — can very easily collapse your flanks. So one of the first things you do in fighting Numidians is make sure that both flanks are very secure. And the best way to do this is to put one flank against the seacoast. You see? And the other flank against a wadi. You see, that’s the best way to do that. No general you ever taught ever fought any Numidians on the seacoast. You see, you run into these small difficulties in training. That’s typical of Earth.” — L. Ron Hubbard, April 19, 1962


Avast, Ye Mateys

“The Ponies are to be made operational for use in All Hands Evolutions. Lafayettes are not to be used due to their long range per LRH order.” — Lt. Cmdr Diana Hubbard, CS-1, April 19, 1969


Overheard in the FreeZone


“There is another life energy that I don’t think LRH addressed and that had to do with the physical body and the trillion-plus cells. Some of these cells are bacterial in nature, they keep some of the body functions balanced. They too have a life force, an urge to survive. Now when a case gets overloaded by stress, plus multiple engrams, a thetan and the body’s immune system gets out of balance, allowing the life force of the micro life forms to have a greater say, stealing theta. To me this is part of the equation and recognizing it helps bodies and thetans who run them in the end be more in PT and have increased telepathy. By the way, being telepathic is a natural state, so one would have to ask what stands in the way of experiencing this ability, both from a theta and body perspective. We are so connected to a body it’s hard to disconnect from the MEST of it. But both theta and MEST/body need to be addressed to be able to reliably be telepathic.”


Past is Prologue

1996: David Mayo, author of Scientology’s NOTs levels, won his appeal in District Court this week. Judge A. Wallace Tashima also criticized Scientology heavily for its litigation tactics, intended to harass and destroy rather than win the case. The ruling quotes Judge Ideman, who has since recused himself, concerning the cult’s tactics. “This noncompliance has consisted of evasions, misrepresentations, broken promises and lies, but ultimately with refusal. As part of this scheme to not comply, the plaintiffs have undertaken a massive campaign of filing every conceivable motion (and some inconceivable) to disguise the true issue in these pretrial proceedings. Apparently viewing litigation as war, plaintiffs by this tactic have had the effect of massively increasing the costs to the other parties, and, for a while, to the Court.” Judge Tashima: “Moreover, there is little doubt that RTC is playing ‘fast and loose’ with the judicial system as required in the minority view of estoppel. To first assert that its unfair competition and false designation of origin claims are justiciable and at the same time assert that Mayo’s identical claims are not is at best questionable; in light of RTC’s documented history of vexatious behavior, RTC’s actions are indefensible. We therefore reverse and remand these two counterclaims to the district court. Accordingly, the judgment of dismissal of RTC’s case and the award of attorneys fees are AFFIRMED, the judgment against Mayo on his emotional distress counterclaim is AFFIRMED, and the judgment against Mayo on the remaining counterclaims is REVERSED and the case REMANDED.”


Random Howdy

“Denise is teaching the kids how the barter system works.”


Full Court Press: What we’re watching at the Underground Bunker

Criminal prosecutions:
Danny Masterson charged for raping three women: Next pretrial conference May 31. Trial scheduled for August 29.

‘Lafayette Ronald Hubbard’ (a/k/a Justin Craig), aggravated assault, plus drug charges: Last hearing was on January 18, referred to grand jury. Additional charges also referred to grand jury after January 5 assault while in jail.
Jay and Jeff Spina, Medicare fraud: Jay sentenced to 9 years in prison. Jeff’s sentencing to be scheduled.
Rizza Islam and other family members, Medi-Cal fraud: Pretrial conference May 20 in Los Angeles
David Gentile, GPB Capital, fraud: Next pretrial conference set for May 5.
Joseph ‘Ben’ Barton, Medicare fraud: Pleaded guilty, awaiting sentencing.
Yanti Mike Greene, Scientology private eye accused of contempt of court: Found guilty of criminal and civil contempt.

Civil litigation:
Luis and Rocio Garcia v. Scientology: Eleventh Circuit affirmed ruling granting Scientology’s motion for arbitration. Garcias considering next move.
Valerie Haney v. Scientology: Forced to ‘religious arbitration.’ Valerie’s motion for reconsideration denied on March 15.
Chrissie Bixler et al. v. Scientology and Danny Masterson: Appellate court removes requirement of arbitration on January 19, case remanded back to Superior Court. Next hearing scheduled for June 29.
Brian Statler Sr v. City of Inglewood: Third amended complaint filed, trial set for June 28.
Author Steve Cannane defamation trial: Trial concluded, Cannane victorious, awarded court costs. Appeal hearing held Aug 23-27. Awaiting a ruling.
Chiropractors Steve Peyroux and Brent Detelich, stem cell fraud: Lawsuit filed by the FTC and state of Georgia in August, now in discovery phase.



We first broke the news of the LAPD’s investigation of Scientology celebrity Danny Masterson on rape allegations in 2017, and we’ve been covering the story every step of the way since then. At this page we’ve collected our most important links, including our four days in Los Angeles covering the preliminary hearing and its ruling, which has Danny facing trial and the potential sentence of 45 years to life in prison.


After the success of their double-Emmy-winning, three-season A&E series ‘Scientology and the Aftermath,’ Leah Remini and Mike Rinder continue the conversation on their podcast, ‘Scientology: Fair Game.’ We’ve created a landing page where you can hear all of the episodes so far.


An episode-by-episode guide to Leah Remini’s three-season, double-Emmy winning series that changed everything for Scientology watching. Originally aired from 2016 to 2019 on the A&E network, and now on Netflix.


Find your favorite Hubbardite celeb at this index page — or suggest someone to add to the list!

Other links: SCIENTOLOGY BLACK OPS: Tom Cruise and dirty tricks. Scientology’s Ideal Orgs, from one end of the planet to the other. Scientology’s sneaky front groups, spreading the good news about L. Ron Hubbard while pretending to benefit society. Scientology Lit: Books reviewed or excerpted in a weekly series. How many have you read?


[ONE year ago] Fun new leak: The current Scientology staff application and contract
[TWO years ago] Scientology: Earth is a prison planet and the virus just another fake threat. So study LRH!
[THREE years ago] COMING MAY 9: Silvertail Books publishes Chris Owen’s ‘Ron the War Hero’
[FOUR years ago] Scientology’s greatest lecture of all: It’s finally time we look closer at Xenu in all his glory
[FIVE years ago] How a recanted John Travolta gay sex allegation led to a bizarre Michael Jackson scoop
[SIX years ago] Ron Miscavige’s book ‘Ruthless’ gets a UK publisher and it’s a familiar one
[SEVEN years ago] Another wacky Scientology testimonial video — and an Underground Bunker announcement!
[EIGHT years ago] Is Google aiding a Scientology front group that claims the Holocaust was caused by psychiatry?
[NINE years ago] Jason Barclay’s Sea Org Adventure: A Fresh Scientology Escapee Details Abuse


Scientology disconnection, a reminder

Bernie Headley (1952-2019) did not see his daughter Stephanie in his final 5,667 days.
Valerie Haney has not seen her mother Lynne in 2,639 days.
Katrina Reyes has not seen her mother Yelena in 3,144 days
Sylvia Wagner DeWall has not seen her brother Randy in 2,664 days.
Brian Sheen has not seen his grandson Leo in 1,684 days.
Geoff Levin has not seen his son Collin and daughter Savannah in 1,575 days.
Christie Collbran has not seen her mother Liz King in 4,882 days.
Clarissa Adams has not seen her parents Walter and Irmin Huber in 2,750 days.
Carol Nyburg has not seen her daughter Nancy in 3,524 days.
Doug Kramer has not seen his parents Linda and Norm in 1,855 days.
Jamie Sorrentini Lugli has not seen her father Irving in 4,328 days.
Quailynn McDaniel has not seen her brother Sean in 3,644 days.
Dylan Gill has not seen his father Russell in 12,210 days.
Melissa Paris has not seen her father Jean-Francois in 8,129 days.
Valeska Paris has not seen her brother Raphael in 4,297 days.
Mirriam Francis has not seen her brother Ben in 3,877 days.
Claudio and Renata Lugli have not seen their son Flavio in 4,139 days.
Sara Goldberg has not seen her daughter Ashley in 3,175 days.
Lori Hodgson has not seen her son Jeremy and daughter Jessica in 2,890 days.
Marie Bilheimer has not seen her mother June in 2,415 days.
Julian Wain has not seen his brother Joseph or mother Susan in 770 days.
Charley Updegrove has not seen his son Toby in 1,945 days.
Joe Reaiche has not seen his daughter Alanna Masterson in 6,496 days
Derek Bloch has not seen his father Darren in 3,645 days.
Cindy Plahuta has not seen her daughter Kara in 3,965 days.
Roger Weller has not seen his daughter Alyssa in 8,820 days.
Claire Headley has not seen her mother Gen in 3,939 days.
Ramana Dienes-Browning has not seen her mother Jancis in 2,295 days.
Mike Rinder has not seen his son Benjamin and daughter Taryn in 6,598 days.
Brian Sheen has not seen his daughter Spring in 2,704 days.
Skip Young has not seen his daughters Megan and Alexis in 3,102 days.
Mary Kahn has not seen her son Sammy in 2,978 days.
Lois Reisdorf has not seen her son Craig in 2,561 days.
Phil and Willie Jones have not seen their son Mike and daughter Emily in 3,056 days.
Mary Jane Barry has not seen her daughter Samantha in 3,310 days.
Kate Bornstein has not seen her daughter Jessica in 14,419 days.


Posted by Tony Ortega on April 19, 2022 at 07:00

E-mail tips to tonyo94 AT gmail DOT com or follow us on Twitter. We also post updates at our Facebook author page. After every new story we send out an alert to our e-mail list and our FB page.

Our new book with Paulette Cooper, Battlefield Scientology: Exposing L. Ron Hubbard’s dangerous ‘religion’ is now on sale at Amazon in paperback and Kindle formats. Our book about Paulette, The Unbreakable Miss Lovely: How the Church of Scientology tried to destroy Paulette Cooper, is on sale at Amazon in paperback, Kindle, and audiobook versions. We’ve posted photographs of Paulette and scenes from her life at a separate location. Reader Sookie put together a complete index. More information can also be found at the book’s dedicated page.

The Best of the Underground Bunker, 1995-2021 Just starting out here? We’ve picked out the most important stories we’ve covered here at the Underground Bunker (2012-2021), The Village Voice (2008-2012), New Times Los Angeles (1999-2002) and the Phoenix New Times (1995-1999)

Other links: BLOGGING DIANETICS: Reading Scientology’s founding text cover to cover | UP THE BRIDGE: Claire Headley and Bruce Hines train us as Scientologists | GETTING OUR ETHICS IN: Jefferson Hawkins explains Scientology’s system of justice | SCIENTOLOGY MYTHBUSTING: Historian Jon Atack discusses key Scientology concepts | Shelly Miscavige, 15 years gone | The Lisa McPherson story told in real time | The Cathriona White stories | The Leah Remini ‘Knowledge Reports’ | Hear audio of a Scientology excommunication | Scientology’s little day care of horrors | Whatever happened to Steve Fishman? | Felony charges for Scientology’s drug rehab scam | Why Scientology digs bomb-proof vaults in the desert | PZ Myers reads L. Ron Hubbard’s “A History of Man” | Scientology’s Master Spies | The mystery of the richest Scientologist and his wayward sons | Scientology’s shocking mistreatment of the mentally ill | The Underground Bunker’s Official Theme Song | The Underground Bunker FAQ

Watch our short videos that explain Scientology’s controversies in three minutes or less…

Check your whale level at our dedicated page for status updates, or join us at the Underground Bunker’s Facebook discussion group for more frivolity.

Our non-Scientology stories: Robert Burnham Jr., the man who inscribed the universe | Notorious alt-right inspiration Kevin MacDonald and his theories about Jewish DNA | The selling of the “Phoenix Lights” | Astronomer Harlow Shapley‘s FBI file | Sex, spies, and local TV news | Battling Babe-Hounds: Ross Jeffries v. R. Don Steele


Tony Ortega at The Daily Beast


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