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Scientology: Earth is a prison planet and the virus just another fake threat. So study LRH!

 
As the pandemic goes on and on, this bizarre video is being promoted to Scientologists that the end of the health crisis (whenever it comes) will be the start of something new and exciting.

The 1999 film The Matrix has always been popular among Scientologists because it parallels L. Ron Hubbard’s theory that the observable world is not real, that it was created, and Earth is a prison planet.

 

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During the pandemic some people are able to work from home, but it can be boring. Scientology has a solution for that — online courses and webinars for everyone.

The Foundation for a Drug Free World has free online courses presented as a gift from former NFL MVP and Hall of Famer Marshall Faulk. The courses have been available since 2018 which is before Faulk became involved in the Foundation, but there are also free webinars from prominent Scientologists.


 
The webinars are being presented by Julieta Santagostino, Bernard and Meghan Fialkoff and a variety of Scientology allies.



 
The Dublin org wants you to fill your empty quarantined hours by taking the Oxford Capacity Analysis, the personality test used as a recruiting tool by Scientology for decades.

 

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Are you wondering what to do with free time you’ve got on your hands?

Fill out this personality test and get a free ONE-TO-ONE phone consultation to find out your STRONGEST traits and how to use them to get a better grip on life!

Based on the results of this PERSONALITY TEST, one of our consultants will spend time with you to explain each part of your results.

Whether you’ve just completed your personality test or would like to take another one, we’re ready to speak to you!

The test contains 200 questions about feelings and emotions, railroad timetables and inflicting pain on small animals. Although the test is set up to be answered Yes, No or Maybe the “correct” answer that will get you the highest score is never Maybe. Here are the correct answers; enjoy the test.

 

N Y Y N N N N N Y Y N N Y N N N Y N Y Y N N N N N N Y Y Y N Y N Y Y Y N N N N N Y Y N N N N N N Y Y Y N N Y N Y Y Y N N N Y Y N N N Y Y Y N N N N N Y N Y N Y Y Y N N N Y N N Y N N N N Y Y Y Y Y N N Y Y N N N Y N N N N Y N Y Y Y N Y N Y Y Y N N Y N N M Y N N N Y N Y Y N N N Y Y N N N N Y Y N Y N N N N Y N N Y Y Y Y Y N N Y Y Y Y N Y Y N N N N Y Y N N Y Y N N N N N N Y N N N N Y N N Y N Y N N N N Y

 
Public Scientologists are all being encouraged to take extension courses at home but it’s required if you’re on staff. In the UK all 299 staff at Class V orgs are doing extension courses. From this we can calculate that UK orgs have only an average of 37 staff each. Even more interesting is that there are only 380 active public Scientologists among the eight Class V orgs. Scientology has opened three ideal orgs in the UK and Ireland and has another nearing completion in Manchester, but there is no boom anywhere in the British Isles.


 
We don’t see a lot of good things coming for Scientology. To the extent the pandemic causes economic upheaval people will be too busy with coping with the new realities of life to be studying Scientology from home or in the orgs. We think this can only hasten the long slow decline in membership we have seen in the 21st century.

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— Rod Keller

 
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Source Code

“I remember training generals in Egypt. It was difficult. You say, ‘When fighting Numidians, you inevitably and invariably make very certain that your flanks are secure, because the Numidian — because of horses and that sort of thing — can very easily collapse your flanks. So one of the first things you do in fighting Numidians is make sure that both flanks are very secure. And the best way to do this is to put one flank against the seacoast. You see? And the other flank against a wadi. You see, that’s the best way to do that. No general you ever taught ever fought any Numidians on the seacoast. You see, you run into these small difficulties in training. That’s typical of Earth.” — L. Ron Hubbard, April 19, 1962

 
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Overheard in the FreeZone

“There is another life energy that I don’t think LRH addressed and that had to do with the physical body and the trillion-plus cells. Some of these cells are bacterial in nature, they keep some of the body functions balanced. They too have a life force, an urge to survive. Now when a case gets overloaded by stress, plus multiple engrams, a thetan and the body’s immune system gets out of balance, allowing the life force of the micro life forms to have a greater say, stealing theta. To me this is part of the equation and recognizing it helps bodies and thetans who run them in the end be more in PT and have increased telepathy. By the way, being telepathic is a natural state, so one would have to ask what stands in the way of experiencing this ability, both from a theta and body perspective. We are so connected to a body it’s hard to disconnect from the MEST of it. But both theta and MEST/body need to be addressed to be able to reliably be telepathic.”

 
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Random Howdy

“Denise is teaching the kids how the barter system works.”

 
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Full Court Press: What we’re watching at the Underground Bunker

Criminal prosecutions:
Jay Spina: Sentencing was set for April 3 in White Plains
Hanan and Rizza Islam and other family members: Trial set for October 7 in Los Angeles

Civil litigation:
Luis and Rocio Garcia v. Scientology: Waiting for an appellate decision from the Eleventh Circuit
Valerie Haney v. Scientology: Forced to ‘religious arbitration.’ Hearing on motion for reconsideration set for June 17
Chrissie Bixler et al. v. Scientology and Danny Masterson: May 1 (Masterson new demurrer due), July 8 (plaintiff attorneys pro hac vice), August 31-Sept 1 (CSI/RTC demurrer against Riales, Masterson demurrer), Oct 7-19 (motions to compel arbitration)
Jane Doe v. Scientology (in Miami): Jane Doe’s attorneys have asked for discovery, depositions (Warren McShane, Lynn Farny), April 20 hearing set (motion to compel arbitration)
Matt and Kathy Feschbach bankruptcy appeal: Oral arguments were heard on March 11 in Jacksonville
Brian Statler Sr v. City of Inglewood: Amended complaint filed.

 
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Scientology’s celebrities, ‘Ideal Orgs,’ and more!

[Catherine Bell, Chick Corea, and Nancy Cartwright]

We’ve been building landing pages about David Miscavige’s favorite playthings, including celebrities and ‘Ideal Orgs,’ and we’re hoping you’ll join in and help us gather as much information as we can about them. Head on over and help us with links and photos and comments.

Scientology’s celebrities, from A to Z! Find your favorite Hubbardite celeb at this index page — or suggest someone to add to the list!

Scientology’s ‘Ideal Orgs,’ from one end of the planet to the other! Help us build up pages about each these worldwide locations!

Scientology’s sneaky front groups, spreading the good news about L. Ron Hubbard while pretending to benefit society!

Scientology Lit: Books reviewed or excerpted in our weekly series. How many have you read?

 
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THE WHOLE TRACK

[ONE year ago] COMING MAY 9: Silvertail Books publishes Chris Owen’s ‘Ron the War Hero’
[TWO years ago] Scientology’s greatest lecture of all: It’s finally time we look closer at Xenu in all his glory
[THREE years ago] How a recanted John Travolta gay sex allegation led to a bizarre Michael Jackson scoop
[FOUR years ago] Ron Miscavige’s book ‘Ruthless’ gets a UK publisher and it’s a familiar one
[FIVE years ago] Another wacky Scientology testimonial video — and an Underground Bunker announcement!
[SIX years ago] Is Google aiding a Scientology front group that claims the Holocaust was caused by psychiatry?
[SEVEN years ago] Jason Barclay’s Sea Org Adventure: A Fresh Scientology Escapee Details Abuse

 
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Scientology disconnection, a reminder

Bernie Headley (1952-2019) did not see his daughter Stephanie in his final 5,667 days.
Valerie Haney has not seen her mother Lynne in 1,912 days.
Katrina Reyes has not seen her mother Yelena in 2,416 days
Sylvia Wagner DeWall has not seen her brother Randy in 1,936 days.
Brian Sheen has not seen his grandson Leo in 956 days.
Geoff Levin has not seen his son Collin and daughter Savannah in 847 days.
Christie Collbran has not seen her mother Liz King in 4,154 days.
Clarissa Adams has not seen her parents Walter and Irmin Huber in 2,022 days.
Carol Nyburg has not seen her daughter Nancy in 2,796 days.
Jamie Sorrentini Lugli has not seen her father Irving in 3,570 days.
Quailynn McDaniel has not seen her brother Sean in 2,916 days.
Dylan Gill has not seen his father Russell in 11,482 days.
Melissa Paris has not seen her father Jean-Francois in 7,401 days.
Valeska Paris has not seen her brother Raphael in 3,569 days.
Mirriam Francis has not seen her brother Ben in 3,150 days.
Claudio and Renata Lugli have not seen their son Flavio in 3,411 days.
Sara Goldberg has not seen her daughter Ashley in 2,449 days.
Lori Hodgson has not seen her son Jeremy and daughter Jessica in 2,162 days.
Marie Bilheimer has not seen her mother June in 1,687 days.
Charley Updegrove has not seen his son Toby in 1,217 days.
Joe Reaiche has not seen his daughter Alanna Masterson in 5,777 days
Derek Bloch has not seen his father Darren in 2,917 days.
Cindy Plahuta has not seen her daughter Kara in 3,237 days.
Roger Weller has not seen his daughter Alyssa in 8,092 days.
Claire Headley has not seen her mother Gen in 3,212 days.
Ramana Dienes-Browning has not seen her mother Jancis in 1,567 days.
Mike Rinder has not seen his son Benjamin and daughter Taryn in 5,870 days.
Brian Sheen has not seen his daughter Spring in 1,976 days.
Skip Young has not seen his daughters Megan and Alexis in 2,378 days.
Mary Kahn has not seen her son Sammy in 2,250 days.
Lois Reisdorf has not seen her son Craig in 1,833 days.
Phil and Willie Jones have not seen their son Mike and daughter Emily in 2,328 days.
Mary Jane Barry has not seen her daughter Samantha in 2,582 days.
Kate Bornstein has not seen her daughter Jessica in 13,691 days.

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Posted by Tony Ortega on April 19, 2020 at 07:00

E-mail tips to tonyo94 AT gmail DOT com or follow us on Twitter. We also post updates at our Facebook author page. After every new story we send out an alert to our e-mail list and our FB page.

Our new book with Paulette Cooper, Battlefield Scientology: Exposing L. Ron Hubbard’s dangerous ‘religion’ is now on sale at Amazon in paperback and Kindle formats. Our book about Paulette, The Unbreakable Miss Lovely: How the Church of Scientology tried to destroy Paulette Cooper, is on sale at Amazon in paperback, Kindle, and audiobook versions. We’ve posted photographs of Paulette and scenes from her life at a separate location. Reader Sookie put together a complete index. More information can also be found at the book’s dedicated page.

The Best of the Underground Bunker, 1995-2019 Just starting out here? We’ve picked out the most important stories we’ve covered here at the Underground Bunker (2012-2019), The Village Voice (2008-2012), New Times Los Angeles (1999-2002) and the Phoenix New Times (1995-1999)

Other links: BLOGGING DIANETICS: Reading Scientology’s founding text cover to cover | UP THE BRIDGE: Claire Headley and Bruce Hines train us as Scientologists | GETTING OUR ETHICS IN: Jefferson Hawkins explains Scientology’s system of justice | SCIENTOLOGY MYTHBUSTING: Historian Jon Atack discusses key Scientology concepts | Shelly Miscavige, 14 years gone | The Lisa McPherson story told in real time | The Cathriona White stories | The Leah Remini ‘Knowledge Reports’ | Hear audio of a Scientology excommunication | Scientology’s little day care of horrors | Whatever happened to Steve Fishman? | Felony charges for Scientology’s drug rehab scam | Why Scientology digs bomb-proof vaults in the desert | PZ Myers reads L. Ron Hubbard’s “A History of Man” | Scientology’s Master Spies | The mystery of the richest Scientologist and his wayward sons | Scientology’s shocking mistreatment of the mentally ill | The Underground Bunker’s Official Theme Song | The Underground Bunker FAQ

Watch our short videos that explain Scientology’s controversies in three minutes or less…

Check your whale level at our dedicated page for status updates, or join us at the Underground Bunker’s Facebook discussion group for more frivolity.

Our non-Scientology stories: Robert Burnham Jr., the man who inscribed the universe | Notorious alt-right inspiration Kevin MacDonald and his theories about Jewish DNA | The selling of the “Phoenix Lights” | Astronomer Harlow Shapley‘s FBI file | Sex, spies, and local TV news | Battling Babe-Hounds: Ross Jeffries v. R. Don Steele

 

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