People who come out of Scientology after years or decades have a lot to tell you. About the auditing they went through, the training to be auditors, the special rundowns they might have experienced, or what it was liking working as a staff member or in the Sea Org.
But we can tell you, after doing this for 25 years now, we have not once had a former Scientologist say to us, “let me tell you about Sunday Service.”
That’s because “Sunday Service” for Scientology is merely a sop to the public, a public relations ploy that was added as an effort to appear more like a “church” to outsiders. Scientology itself, the real stuff of Scientology, is about a “preclear” and their auditor working one-on-one to advance up the “Bridge to Total Freedom,” not about a chapel and a sermon.
And in most places it’s just an afterthought, something for the new meat to experience to convince them Scientology is a going concern. But one of the odd and sort of wonderful consequences of the pandemic is that things Scientology normally keeps behind closed doors they’re suddenly putting online for everyone to see. Some of it we can understand because it helps to keep locked-down church members busy and occupied with thoughts of founder L. Ron Hubbard. But why put up videos of Sunday Service?
It doesn’t make a lot of sense to us, because not only would it not seem to further the aims of keeping experienced members occupied, it’s also a great way to advertise openly just how creepy and uninteresting Scientology really is.
We have two very good examples of that for you today, thanks to an insider who forwarded to us the links to these videos that were being sent around to church members.
The first is from Kansas City, and we’re thinking that the people in that fine city (we’re a former resident) that just got a new “Ideal Org” will be interested to see what goes on there. Prepare to be underwhelmed as staffer Dan O’Connor goes through the usual Hubbard platitudes about how the only thing that’s real is what you have decided is real for yourself.
Try to imagine this stuff being the reason you would join Scientology, give up your life, your family, and most definitely your bank account, in order to work around the clock with Dan down at the org.
We have another real barn burner here from Angelika at the Stevens Creek Org who goes through yet more Hubbardism in a thrilling way. She goes through the Creed of Scientology and its pretty statements about thinking freely and having inalienable rights, and that man is “basically good.” But then of course you will spend the next twenty years of your life having your rights taken away, you will be punished for thinking freely, and you’ll go through auditing that convinces you that you have lived countless lives during which you committed unspeakably evil acts on other people (and children, specifically), and because of that you shouldn’t bother turning in criminals in the church today.
Basically good, sure.
Don’t get us wrong, we think it’s great that the church is putting out these videos, so that you don’t need to risk infiltrating the church to discover how nutty Scientology’s Sunday Service is.
So, thank you, Scientology.
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Bonus items from our tipsters
Another Angelika, in Santa Monica, handing out The Way to Happiness in the wake of protests…
…and to National Guardsmen…
And get ready, people of Mountain View, because your copy is coming soon in the mail!
Another Solo NOTs win!
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“One day this part of the reactive mind which has been trying to keep a doll surviving on the Galaxy Gee Whizzes, from being destroyed by gorillas, gets a whiff of a fur coat and goes into total action. Takes over, right as out of that moment. You’ve got an emergency situation, instantly. You’ve got gorillas in the vicinity and it’s better not to inspect, even. People who turn around and really inspect things are very often amongst the wounded and dead. So what are you going to do? It means, that when you speed up things in the universe to too great a degree, on the false basis that you are ‘prone to non survival,’ but in the interest of keeping something surviving, you are then going to run into this timeless reactivity of action without inspection. Infinite dedications to the survival of forms and patterns.” — L. Ron Hubbard, June 9, 1961
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“If Andy Nolch had been handled with ethics since the beginning, he would not be in jail now for drug possession, and would not be smearing the reputation of the independent field. The wog justice system handled him only after he had perpetrated crimes. Scientology ethics should have be applied to him.”
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“You need to word clear ‘whole track’ as well as ‘mass hysteria hypnotized role-playing pseudo-religious delusional Stockholm syndrome suffering suckers’.”
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Full Court Press: What we’re watching at the Underground Bunker
Criminal prosecutions:
— Jay Spina: Sentencing was set for April 3 in White Plains
— Hanan and Rizza Islam and other family members: Trial set for October 7 in Los Angeles
Civil litigation:
— Luis and Rocio Garcia v. Scientology: Waiting for an appellate decision from the Eleventh Circuit
— Valerie Haney v. Scientology: Forced to ‘religious arbitration.’ Hearing on motion for reconsideration set for August 11
— Chrissie Bixler et al. v. Scientology and Danny Masterson: July 8 (plaintiff attorneys pro hac vice), August 31-Sept 1 (CSI/RTC demurrer against Riales, Masterson demurrer), Oct 7-19 (motions to compel arbitration)
— Jane Doe v. Scientology (in Miami): Jane Doe dismissed the lawsuit on May 15 after the Clearwater Police dropped their criminal investigation of her allegations.
— Matt and Kathy Feschbach bankruptcy appeal: Oral arguments were heard on March 11 in Jacksonville
— Brian Statler Sr v. City of Inglewood: Amended complaint filed.
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Scientology’s celebrities, ‘Ideal Orgs,’ and more!
We’ve been building landing pages about David Miscavige’s favorite playthings, including celebrities and ‘Ideal Orgs,’ and we’re hoping you’ll join in and help us gather as much information as we can about them. Head on over and help us with links and photos and comments.
Scientology’s celebrities, from A to Z! Find your favorite Hubbardite celeb at this index page — or suggest someone to add to the list!
Scientology’s ‘Ideal Orgs,’ from one end of the planet to the other! Help us build up pages about each these worldwide locations!
Scientology’s sneaky front groups, spreading the good news about L. Ron Hubbard while pretending to benefit society!
Scientology Lit: Books reviewed or excerpted in our weekly series. How many have you read?
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THE WHOLE TRACK
[ONE year ago] Scientology in Sweden: A telling snapshot of a failed Ideal Org under pressure
[TWO years ago] DENIED: Los Angeles judge rejects Scientology’s latest delay tactic in forced-abortion case
[THREE years ago] Thanks for the slick videos, Marty Rathbun. Here’s a not very slick one for you.
[FOUR years ago] There’s nothing quite like when Scientology cancels your superhuman powers with a ‘declare’
[FIVE years ago] When the FDA interviewed L. Ron Hubbard’s first family about Scientology
[SIX years ago] Casey Kasem’s sordid family drama: Is Kerri’s involvement in Scientology relevant?
[SEVEN years ago] Scientology Sunday Funnies, Revolt in the Stars Edition!
[NINE years ago] Scientologist Giovanni Ribisi to Play David Koresh: Why There’s a Precedent for a Scientology-Branch Davidian Connection
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Bernie Headley (1952-2019) did not see his daughter Stephanie in his final 5,667 days.
Valerie Haney has not seen her mother Lynne in 1,963 days.
Katrina Reyes has not seen her mother Yelena in 2,467 days
Sylvia Wagner DeWall has not seen her brother Randy in 1,987 days.
Brian Sheen has not seen his grandson Leo in 1,007 days.
Geoff Levin has not seen his son Collin and daughter Savannah in 898 days.
Christie Collbran has not seen her mother Liz King in 4,205 days.
Clarissa Adams has not seen her parents Walter and Irmin Huber in 2,073 days.
Carol Nyburg has not seen her daughter Nancy in 2,847 days.
Jamie Sorrentini Lugli has not seen her father Irving in 3,621 days.
Quailynn McDaniel has not seen her brother Sean in 2,967 days.
Dylan Gill has not seen his father Russell in 11,533 days.
Melissa Paris has not seen her father Jean-Francois in 7,452 days.
Valeska Paris has not seen her brother Raphael in 3,620 days.
Mirriam Francis has not seen her brother Ben in 3,201 days.
Claudio and Renata Lugli have not seen their son Flavio in 3,462 days.
Sara Goldberg has not seen her daughter Ashley in 2,500 days.
Lori Hodgson has not seen her son Jeremy and daughter Jessica in 2,213 days.
Marie Bilheimer has not seen her mother June in 1,738 days.
Charley Updegrove has not seen his son Toby in 1,268 days.
Joe Reaiche has not seen his daughter Alanna Masterson in 5,828 days
Derek Bloch has not seen his father Darren in 2,968 days.
Cindy Plahuta has not seen her daughter Kara in 3,288 days.
Roger Weller has not seen his daughter Alyssa in 8,143 days.
Claire Headley has not seen her mother Gen in 3,263 days.
Ramana Dienes-Browning has not seen her mother Jancis in 1,618 days.
Mike Rinder has not seen his son Benjamin and daughter Taryn in 5,921 days.
Brian Sheen has not seen his daughter Spring in 2,027 days.
Skip Young has not seen his daughters Megan and Alexis in 2,429 days.
Mary Kahn has not seen her son Sammy in 2,301 days.
Lois Reisdorf has not seen her son Craig in 1,884 days.
Phil and Willie Jones have not seen their son Mike and daughter Emily in 2,379 days.
Mary Jane Barry has not seen her daughter Samantha in 2,633 days.
Kate Bornstein has not seen her daughter Jessica in 13,742 days.
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Posted by Tony Ortega on June 9, 2020 at 07:00
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Our new book with Paulette Cooper, Battlefield Scientology: Exposing L. Ron Hubbard’s dangerous ‘religion’ is now on sale at Amazon in paperback and Kindle formats. Our book about Paulette, The Unbreakable Miss Lovely: How the Church of Scientology tried to destroy Paulette Cooper, is on sale at Amazon in paperback, Kindle, and audiobook versions. We’ve posted photographs of Paulette and scenes from her life at a separate location. Reader Sookie put together a complete index. More information can also be found at the book’s dedicated page.
The Best of the Underground Bunker, 1995-2019 Just starting out here? We’ve picked out the most important stories we’ve covered here at the Underground Bunker (2012-2019), The Village Voice (2008-2012), New Times Los Angeles (1999-2002) and the Phoenix New Times (1995-1999)
Other links: BLOGGING DIANETICS: Reading Scientology’s founding text cover to cover | UP THE BRIDGE: Claire Headley and Bruce Hines train us as Scientologists | GETTING OUR ETHICS IN: Jefferson Hawkins explains Scientology’s system of justice | SCIENTOLOGY MYTHBUSTING: Historian Jon Atack discusses key Scientology concepts | Shelly Miscavige, 14 years gone | The Lisa McPherson story told in real time | The Cathriona White stories | The Leah Remini ‘Knowledge Reports’ | Hear audio of a Scientology excommunication | Scientology’s little day care of horrors | Whatever happened to Steve Fishman? | Felony charges for Scientology’s drug rehab scam | Why Scientology digs bomb-proof vaults in the desert | PZ Myers reads L. Ron Hubbard’s “A History of Man” | Scientology’s Master Spies | The mystery of the richest Scientologist and his wayward sons | Scientology’s shocking mistreatment of the mentally ill | The Underground Bunker’s Official Theme Song | The Underground Bunker FAQ
Watch our short videos that explain Scientology’s controversies in three minutes or less…
Check your whale level at our dedicated page for status updates, or join us at the Underground Bunker’s Facebook discussion group for more frivolity.
Our non-Scientology stories: Robert Burnham Jr., the man who inscribed the universe | Notorious alt-right inspiration Kevin MacDonald and his theories about Jewish DNA | The selling of the “Phoenix Lights” | Astronomer Harlow Shapley‘s FBI file | Sex, spies, and local TV news | Battling Babe-Hounds: Ross Jeffries v. R. Don Steele
