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Scientology Sunday Funnies, Revolt in the Stars Edition!

RevoltFrontBack in March, we had fun talking with historian Jon Atack about L. Ron Hubbard’s 1977 screenplay, Revolt in the Stars. At the time he wrote it, Hubbard was hiding out in Nevada after the FBI had raided Scientology in Los Angeles and Washington. We figure it must have irked him that Star Wars was raking in the big cash while being an homage to the throwback space opera that had once been Hubbard’s bread and butter. How could he not want to cash in?

Anyway, when we discussed the screenplay earlier, the only version of it we could find on line was in treatment form, not a proper script.

Well, now we’ve managed to get our hands on the full screenplay itself (that’s the title page to the right), and it’s a real hoot.

But don’t take our word for it. We’ve found a fun text-to-speech video that turns dialogue from the first part of the film into a thrilling example of Hubbard’s cinematic skills. We look forward to your thoughts on what a great movie this would have made.



Now you can see why “Tax Revolt in the Stars” might have been a more appropriate title. Eventually, yes, Xenu blows up Earth’s inhabitants by confining them to volcanoes that he destroys with nuclear weapons, but the final showdown between Rawl and Xenu happens off camera. What a letdown.

Still, Hubbard had great confidence in the script. He did, in the introduction, say that it was as fast-paced as Star Wars and Jaws, and if shot without much alteration, would bring in as much money.

Also in the introduction, he assures potential backers that the film would not attract “protest groups,” and had been extensively tested through surveys. Here’s how he puts it…

The atmosphere of the film is extensive pageantry. Protest groups would be unlikely to find anything amiss in it as it contains very little sex, no nudity and, while its scenes contain violence, it is not of a kind that has been objected to. The motif is the consequences of oppressing populations and minorities with taxation, identity cards and all-powerful secret police and indirectly warns against what is happening in the US and world at this time, and by extensive public surveys matches the tone and interest of contemporary audiences and accordingly would attain wildfire word-of-mouth when released. It has built-in psychological factors to reinforce this. The author is writing a book to parallel it.

“Wildfire word-of-mouth.” Yes, we can just see it — “Hey, did you hear? There’s a science fiction epic that takes on the personal income tax and passports!” You just can’t get better advertising than that.

Hubbard’s no doubt correct — this thing is a slam-dunk. What’s Scientology leader David Miscavige waiting for?

While we’re celebrating Hubbard’s script, we’ll alert our Los Angeles readers about an interesting event happening at Cinefamily on June 19. “The Cinema of Scientology” is going to feature two early UK documentaries about Hubbard, followed by a panel that will feature our friend Mark Bunker as well as Battlefield Earth screenwriter J. D. Shapiro, who has apologized for writing the film. We were told that a reading of Revolt in the Stars might also happen that night, but we haven’t had that confirmed.

And now, on to our weekly collection of wacky Scientology mailers and fliers that were sent to us by our tipsters.

This next one struck us as unusual. A regging party held at a private home? We’re told this was an exclusive invitation — is it unusual for this kind of small gathering to beg money from wealthy members? Let us know.


And here’s material that came with it…


Tired of seeing all the bad news and not being able to DO something about it?

Come by, get the download and BE CAUSE. CCHR, IAS, Ideal Orgs, you name it. Let’s kick some @$$! The latest, exclusive briefings on battles to come and victories recently had by key speakers!

Live entertainment, BBQ and pool party too! All hosted by yours truly and Fred Reno!

This next appeal from the excitable Quinn Taufer has some creative uses of the English language, but its infectious enthusiasm comes through loud and clear. It’s another example of the “alliance” strategy that is trying to bring together far-flung church members to raise money for the San Fernando Valley Ideal Org building program.


Hey, Greater Cincinnati, hold on to yer butts! Hollywood is coming, and this is your chance for some good old-fashioned entertainment, L. Ron Hubbard style! This is happening tonight and we’d love an eyewitness report. Dish!


Once again, thanks to our tipsters. Keep those mailers and fliers coming!


Jenna Hill Still Getting Major Media

Four months after the publication of her memoir, Beyond Belief, Jenna Miscavige Hill, niece to Scientology’s leader, David Miscavige, is still getting major press. This lengthy piece aired on Australia’s 60 Minutes hours ago (on their Sunday night).


One thing we noticed: Jenna seems a lot more polished than when she first started on her long publicity campaign.


Posted by Tony Ortega on June 9, 2013 at 07:00

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