Nicole Kidman’s Scientology auditor: What Ana de Armas is in for with Tom Cruise

TODAY AT SUBSTACK: If you’ve signed up for free emails at Substack, you will receive today’s feature story at your inbox: The tabs are losing it now that Scientology icon Tom Cruise was spotted holding hands with actress Ana de Armas in Vermont. What is she in for? We figured the best way to answer that is go over Cruise’s previous relationships, and with help from Nicole Kidman’s former auditor! [What is this Substack thing, anyway?]

 
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Technology Cocktail

“The primary indicator of the presence of an SP in an org is a plummeting statistic immediately after he starts handling a portion of it. Indifferent leadership, even inaction, can’t drive a statistic down. Only active suppression can. So watch the statistics and don’t get reasonable when they fall. Either outside the org suppression has been brought down on that portion of the org. making it PTS or there is an SP there. The final answer is what happened just before the statistic fell. If a new appointment was made and it fell, unappoint it fast. If nothing cures the down statistic find the SP or handle the PTS situation because one or the other is there. Completions stayed down for 15 years. Then we found auditors never noticed free needles. Now for heaven’s sakes, 15 years was enough. Don’t repeat the error! It does work you know.” — L. Ron Hubbard, 1979

 
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THE PROSECUTION OF DANNY MASTERSON

We first broke the news of the LAPD’s investigation of Scientology celebrity Danny Masterson on rape allegations in 2017, and we’ve been covering the story every step of the way since then. At this page we’ve collected our most important links as Danny faces a potential sentence of 45 years to life in prison. NOW WITH TRIAL INDEX.

 
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THE PODCAST: How many have you heard?

[1] Marc Headley [2] Claire Headley [3] Jeffrey Augustine [4] Bruce Hines [5] Sunny Pereira [6] Pete Griffiths [7] Geoff Levin [8] Patty Moher [9] Marc Headley [10] Jefferson Hawkins [11] Michelle ‘Emma’ Ryan [12] Paulette Cooper [13] Jesse Prince [14] Mark Bunker [15] Jon Atack [16] Mirriam Francis [17] Bruce Hines on MSH

— SPECIAL: The best TV show on Scientology you never got to see

[1] Phil Jones [2] Derek Bloch [3] Carol Nyburg [4] Katrina Reyes [5] Jamie DeWolf

— The first Danny Masterson trial and beyond

[18] Trial special with Chris Shelton [19] Trial week one [20] Marc Headley on the spy in the hallway [21] Trial week two [22] Trial week three [23] Trial week four [24] Leah Remini on LAPD Corruption [25] Mike Rinder 2022 Thanksgiving Special [26] Jane Doe 4 (Tricia Vessey), Part One [27] Jane Doe 4 (Tricia Vessey), Part Two [28] Claire Headley on the trial [29] Tory Christman [30] Bruce Hines on spying [31] Karen de la Carriere [32] Ron Miscavige on Shelly Miscavige [33] Karen de la Carriere on the L’s [34] Mark Bunker on Miscavige hiding [35] Mark Plummer [36] Mark Ebner [37] Karen Pressley [38] Steve Cannane [39] Fredrick Brennan [40] Clarissa Adams [41] Louise Shekter [42] John Sweeney [43] Tory Christman [44] Kate Bornstein [45] Christian Stolte [46] Mark Bunker [47] Jon Atack [48] Luke Y. Thompson [49] Mark Ebner [50] Bruce Hines [51] Spanky Taylor and Karen Pressley [51] Geoff and Robbie Levin [52] Sands Hall [53] Jonny Jacobsen [54] Sandy Holeman [55] Mark Bunker [56] Trish and Liz Conley [57] Trish Conley [58] Alex Barnes-Ross [59] Alex Barnes-Ross [60] Alex Barnes-Ross [61] Alex Barnes-Ross [62] Alex Barnes-Ross [63] Alex Barnes-Ross [64] Tory Christman [65] Tammy Synovec [66] Dennis Erlich [67] Alex Barnes-Ross [68] Valerie Ross [69] Kat in Austin [70] Mark Bunker [71] Phil Jones

 
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Source Code

“If you really know your E-Meters, go down to your local hometown detective bureau and ask to talk to the lie detector expert and talk to him for a few minutes and he starts giving you some wise, professional chitterchat. Why, you just tell him you’re a psychologist — he understands that, the man has a limited vocabulary, usually — and tell him you use these things all the time in your practice and so forth, and you’d just like to look over his setup. Well, these guys are all bugs and they will show you their setup with their blood pressure gauge and their respirators and the little meter with the cans, you know, except they don’t put them on properly and they don’t register quite right. Now, you can take the same rig and you can so baffle and astound this man, so he just practically blows his brains out. He says, ‘What have I been doing all this time!’ and so on. You can show him a murder reaction on every cop in the place. You don’t say, ‘Have you committed the murder?’ You say, ‘Have you ever killed anyone?’ And promptly, you get duhduh and the respirator goes bluh, the blood pressure indicator goes blah. You could be very cruel and simply say to the lie detector operator, ‘Obviously, your machine is out of order.’ That’s what he’ll think. He’ll have a letter off right away to the manufacturers.” — L. Ron Hubbard, July 31, 1958

 
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Avast, Ye Mateys

“Well we found the Anchor! In 50 feet of water, the search has been long — 60 to 70 hours of diving on the bottom. The reason we lost it was the NON FUNCTIONING of the K&H radar range ring, awaiting a part for weeks and not expedited. This made an exact range to the place impossible. A crane barge will pick up the Anchor this morning and get it aboard. Put the shackle on right way to — open end facing aft as the Chain goes across the winch. Then we sail.” — The Commodore, July 31, 1970

 
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Overheard in the FreeZone

“For such a takeover of Scientology in 1972 to succeed there were lots of people (paid by the Deep State) who introduced false data and black PR. Instead of telling us, ‘LRH was an SP,’ they say: ‘LRH said he had been Cecil Rhodes,’ or ‘LRH punished small children by putting them into the chain locker’ or ‘LRH took handfuls of colorful psycho pills.’ Is this actually true or have you read that in the mass media?”

 
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Past is Prologue

1998: More details about the warning shots fired by Bob Minton to trespassing Scientologists on his property in New Hampshire became available this week. “There were 2 visits by police, the first after the firing of the warning shots and all was OK with police except they suggested that a 911 call may be a better alternative. The 2nd visit was after dark about 30 minutes later, after the original single police officer responded when said 2nd officer heard another shotgun shell fired on or near my property. Both Stacy and me told the same story to different officers at the same time 200 feet apart that we did not fire the shotgun when the officer heard it. I was handcuffed because I was belligerent; firstly over the indignation of this hands up bullshit and secondly over being manhandled by the police. The police were doing their job to maintain their safety. My belligerence was clearly not helpful to the situation and I was handcuffed for it. The OSA trespassers said ‘Hi Stacy! How is it fucking Bob?’ I found this to be sufficiently over the top to leap out of the pool, run to the house and get my keys for the barn, open the barn, open my office, grab my shotgun, some shells and fire into 200 acres of hillside, at least 200 feet away from the OSA brown pants. Today, Sunday July 26, 1998, my wife Therese receives a hand delivered 6 page letter from Rinder in England attacking Stacy as a tramp who is fucking your husband; a woman who has sucked the life and money from a long list of men; and as a woman out to manipulate your husband to spend all the family money to attack Stacy’s arch enemy Scientology. Also, the letter included attacks on everyone I have helped, including according to Scientology, wife beaters, child molesters, whores and pornography editors. 4 OSA picketers were there plus a PI named Middleton from NH. Mr. Middleton was hired by the Church of Scientology, on this occasion to video the picket. He has now twice confirmed his employment by the Church to the Sandown Police Chief. One of the OSA people asked Mr. Middleton to enter my property and video whoever and whatever was going on in the swimming pool. Mr. Middleton said he refused as he did not want any criminal trespass charge to mar his PI record in NH. Not only did he refuse to break the law, he left in his car. Only 4 OSA boys left so what do they do–they go ahead and break the law.”

 
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Random Howdy

“Hubbard should have just cut to the chase and told the clams that he had discovered that all money was infested with body thetans and that they needed to bring their filthy lucre in to Flag to be audited. He could have called it ‘The Wallet of Fire’.”

 
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Full Court Press: What we’re watching at the Underground Bunker

Criminal prosecutions:
— Danny Masterson charged for raping three women: Found guilty on two counts on May 31, remanded to custody. Sentenced to 30 years to life on Sep 7, 2023. DA’s response to appeal brief due July 14.
— ‘Lafayette Ronald Hubbard’ (a/k/a Justin Craig), aggravated assault, plus drug charges: Grand jury indictments include charges from an assault while in custody. Next pretrial hearing July 7.

Civil litigation:
— Leah Remini v. Scientology, alleging ‘Fair Game’ harassment and defamation: Some defamation claims were removed by Judge Hammock. Judge Hammock’s ruling is on appeal. Leah’s appeal brief was filed June 3. Oral arguments are probably next.

 
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SCIENTOLOGY: FAIR GAME

After the success of their double-Emmy-winning, three-season A&E series ‘Scientology and the Aftermath,’ Leah Remini and Mike Rinder continue the conversation on their podcast, ‘Scientology: Fair Game.’ We’ve created a landing page where you can hear all of the episodes so far.

LEAH REMINI: SCIENTOLOGY AND THE AFTERMATH

An episode-by-episode guide to Leah Remini’s three-season, double-Emmy winning series that changed everything for Scientology watching. Originally aired from 2016 to 2019 on the A&E network, and now on Netflix.

SCIENTOLOGY’S CELEBRITIES, from A to Z

Find your favorite Hubbardite celeb at this index page — or suggest someone to add to the list!

 
Other links: SCIENTOLOGY BLACK OPS: Tom Cruise and dirty tricks. Scientology’s Ideal Orgs, from one end of the planet to the other. Scientology’s sneaky front groups, spreading the good news about L. Ron Hubbard while pretending to benefit society. Scientology Lit: Books reviewed or excerpted in a weekly series. How many have you read?

 
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THE WHOLE TRACK

[ONE year ago] The secret plan to produce a Scientology social media star
[TWO years ago] More adventures serving legal papers on the elusive Scientology leader David Miscavige!
[THREE years ago] Scientology leader David Miscavige is evading service, says the Valeska Paris team
[FOUR years ago] Court file: Brian Statler was never asked to leave Scientology org before being shot
[FIVE years ago] Scientology takes aim at Mike Rinder and Hana Whitfield in the Valerie Haney lawsuit
[SIX years ago] ‘Strange Angel’ goes there, teases Scientology founder L. Ron Hubbard at season end
[SEVEN years ago] Scientology spilling the secrets of the universe on an LA street!
[EIGHT years ago] Phil and Willie Jones versus Scientology: The real story of how the billboard came to be
[NINE years ago] Harlem gets its Scientology ‘Ideal Org’ today, and David Miscavige doesn’t want you there
[TEN years ago] Fresh DOX: Police calls to the Narconon in Fort Collins, Colorado — unedited and unread!
[ELEVEN years ago] Jon Atack: Did L. Ron Hubbard want to be considered a god?
[TWELVE years ago] Scientology Admits Connection to Slimy Anonymous Attack Sites — Again

 
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Posted by Tony Ortega on July 31, 2025 at 07:00

E-mail tips to tonyo94 AT gmail DOT com or follow us on Twitter. We also post updates at our Facebook author page. After every new story we send out an alert to our e-mail list and our FB page.

Our new book with Paulette Cooper, Battlefield Scientology: Exposing L. Ron Hubbard’s dangerous ‘religion’ is now on sale at Amazon in paperback and Kindle formats. Our book about Paulette, The Unbreakable Miss Lovely: How the Church of Scientology tried to destroy Paulette Cooper, is on sale at Amazon in paperback, Kindle, and audiobook versions. We’ve posted photographs of Paulette and scenes from her life at a separate location. Reader Sookie put together a complete index. More information can also be found at the book’s dedicated page.

The Best of the Underground Bunker, 1995-2023 Just starting out here? We’ve picked out the most important stories we’ve covered here at the Underground Bunker (2012-2023), The Village Voice (2008-2012), New Times Los Angeles (1999-2002) and the Phoenix New Times (1995-1999)

Other links: BLOGGING DIANETICS: Reading Scientology’s founding text cover to cover | UP THE BRIDGE: Claire Headley and Bruce Hines train us as Scientologists | GETTING OUR ETHICS IN: Jefferson Hawkins explains Scientology’s system of justice | SCIENTOLOGY MYTHBUSTING: Historian Jon Atack discusses key Scientology concepts | Shelly Miscavige, 15 years gone | The Lisa McPherson story told in real time | The Cathriona White stories | The Leah Remini ‘Knowledge Reports’ | Hear audio of a Scientology excommunication | Scientology’s little day care of horrors | Whatever happened to Steve Fishman? | Felony charges for Scientology’s drug rehab scam | Why Scientology digs bomb-proof vaults in the desert | PZ Myers reads L. Ron Hubbard’s “A History of Man” | Scientology’s Master Spies | The mystery of the richest Scientologist and his wayward sons | Scientology’s shocking mistreatment of the mentally ill | The Underground Bunker’s Official Theme Song | The Underground Bunker FAQ

Watch our short videos that explain Scientology’s controversies in three minutes or less…

Check your whale level at our dedicated page for status updates, or join us at the Underground Bunker’s Facebook discussion group for more frivolity.

Our non-Scientology stories: Robert Burnham Jr., the man who inscribed the universe | Notorious alt-right inspiration Kevin MacDonald and his theories about Jewish DNA | The selling of the “Phoenix Lights” | Astronomer Harlow Shapley‘s FBI file | Sex, spies, and local TV news | Battling Babe-Hounds: Ross Jeffries v. R. Don Steele

 

Tony Ortega at The Daily Beast

 

Tony Ortega at Rolling Stone