Dianetics 75 countdown: New Scientology song from the original volcano ad genius!

 
TODAY AT SUBSTACK: If you’ve signed up for free emails at Substack, you will receive today’s feature story at your inbox: The 80s Dianetics TV ad by Jeff Hawkins made L. Ron Hubbard’s turgid 1950 volume a bestseller again. Geoff Levin came up with the music that helped make the ad a hit. Now Geoff has sampled his iconic track for a new song to ‘celebrate’ the book’s 75th birthday. Fun! [What is this Substack thing, anyway?]

 
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Technology Cocktail

“OUT-ETHICS: An action or situation in which an individual is involved contrary to the ideals and best interests of his group. An act or situation or relationship contrary to the ethics standards, codes or ideals of the group or other members of the group. An act of omission or commission by an individual that could or has reduced the general effectiveness of a group or its other members. An individual act of omission or commission which impedes the general well-being of a group or impedes it in achieving its goals.” — L. Ron Hubbard, 1977

 
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THE PROSECUTION OF DANNY MASTERSON

We first broke the news of the LAPD’s investigation of Scientology celebrity Danny Masterson on rape allegations in 2017, and we’ve been covering the story every step of the way since then. At this page we’ve collected our most important links as Danny faces a potential sentence of 45 years to life in prison. NOW WITH TRIAL INDEX.

 
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THE PODCAST: How many have you heard?

[1] Marc Headley [2] Claire Headley [3] Jeffrey Augustine [4] Bruce Hines [5] Sunny Pereira [6] Pete Griffiths [7] Geoff Levin [8] Patty Moher [9] Marc Headley [10] Jefferson Hawkins [11] Michelle ‘Emma’ Ryan [12] Paulette Cooper [13] Jesse Prince [14] Mark Bunker [15] Jon Atack [16] Mirriam Francis [17] Bruce Hines on MSH

— SPECIAL: The best TV show on Scientology you never got to see

[1] Phil Jones [2] Derek Bloch [3] Carol Nyburg [4] Katrina Reyes [5] Jamie DeWolf

— The first Danny Masterson trial and beyond

[18] Trial special with Chris Shelton [19] Trial week one [20] Marc Headley on the spy in the hallway [21] Trial week two [22] Trial week three [23] Trial week four [24] Leah Remini on LAPD Corruption [25] Mike Rinder 2022 Thanksgiving Special [26] Jane Doe 4 (Tricia Vessey), Part One [27] Jane Doe 4 (Tricia Vessey), Part Two [28] Claire Headley on the trial [29] Tory Christman [30] Bruce Hines on spying [31] Karen de la Carriere [32] Ron Miscavige on Shelly Miscavige [33] Karen de la Carriere on the L’s [34] Mark Bunker on Miscavige hiding [35] Mark Plummer [36] Mark Ebner [37] Karen Pressley [38] Steve Cannane [39] Fredrick Brennan [40] Clarissa Adams [41] Louise Shekter [42] John Sweeney [43] Tory Christman [44] Kate Bornstein [45] Christian Stolte [46] Mark Bunker [47] Jon Atack [48] Luke Y. Thompson [49] Mark Ebner [50] Bruce Hines [51] Spanky Taylor and Karen Pressley [51] Geoff and Robbie Levin [52] Sands Hall [53] Jonny Jacobsen [54] Sandy Holeman [55] Mark Bunker [56] Trish and Liz Conley [57] Trish Conley [58] Alex Barnes-Ross [59] Alex Barnes-Ross [60] Alex Barnes-Ross [61] Alex Barnes-Ross [62] Alex Barnes-Ross [63] Alex Barnes-Ross [64] Tory Christman [65] Tammy Synovec [66] Dennis Erlich [67] Alex Barnes-Ross [68] Valerie Ross [69] Kat in Austin [70] Mark Bunker [71] Phil Jones

 
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Source Code

“Every physicist, every single physicist, including Newton, and all the rest of the boys, have fallen flat on their faces by not establishing the basic conditions of what they were dealing with. They have started from an unreasonable assumption. They’ve assumed that somebody knew what space was, and have gone on from there. And they’ve decided that somebody knew what a static was, and they’ve gone on from there. And of course they’d wind us up in trouble sooner or later with a thing like an atom bomb. Naturally, they’d wind us up in trouble because they didn’t know where they were proceeding. This is not an indictment, you understand, of science at large. It’s just hoping it will perish soon. Because if this is the scientific method, to start with unreasonable assumptions and never discover what your definitions are before you proceed into a problem, then we want nothing to do with a scientific method. And you actually are then not following the scientific method, because that is the scientific method. You’re really not dealing, then, in the field of science if the field of science is what we have had in psychology and physics. Because then we are not dealing with this. Because we do this, and there are a new set of principles established here. And the only thing you could call them, I guess, would be a Scientological method, as unhandy as Scientology becomes when you start to add suffixes to it.” — L. Ron Hubbard, May 4, 1954

 
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Avast, Ye Mateys

“HARD WORK: Diana, in readying up the CS-6 post so she could leave, worked 72 hours straight through and then boarded the plane. It is not fully known that, with Franchise and Celebrity Centres, Diana handles many more orgs herself than the whole FB. Blackburn Smith is standing in as her deputy during her three week absence. Due to the jumbled state my photo gear was allowed to get into I couldn’t find a camera to give her but fixed it so she could buy one and thus bring back pictures of her travels. I think this is her first vacation in four years in the SO.” — The Commodore, May 4, 1971

 
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Overheard in the FreeZone

“Why am I a Scientologist? Just naturally smart. I was born very intelligent. And intelligence is the ability to resolve problems relating to survival.”

Past is Prologue

2001: The Los Angeles Times reported that Scientologist and Earthlink board member Reed Slatkin has been accused of operating a Ponzi scheme to bilk investors, including many fellow Scientologists, out of $35 million. “Slatkin – a Santa Barbara socialite and venture capitalist – also is under investigation by the Securities and Exchange Commission for his financial activities, which allegedly included a day-trading operation that promised annual returns of up to 60 percent. Investors have filed at least three lawsuits accusing Slatkin of defrauding them of more than $35 million, and the size of the potential losses could grow. Attorneys say Slatkin invested more than $300 million for a nationwide network of more than 100 friends, business partners and members of the Church of Scientology, to which Slatkin belongs. Slatkin resigned from EarthLink’s board of directors Thursday, the day a meeting of Slatkin’s East Coast creditors was held in Washington, lawyers for the investors said. More than 80 investors attended a second creditors’ meeting Monday at the Santa Monica offices of Slatkin’s securities lawyer, Gerald E. Boltz. The meeting included representatives of a group of Scientologists who had invested more than $250 million with Slatkin, attorneys said. A lawyer for the Scientology investors, Michael A. Sherman, said Tuesday that he had no comment about the case or whether his clients would sue Slatkin. Boltz confirmed that Slatkin was a member of the Church of Scientology, a religion founded by science fiction writer L. Ron Hubbard and adhered to by a number of Hollywood celebrities. The plaintiff in the Santa Barbara suit, retired venture capitalist John K. Poitras, said he invested most of his life’s savings with Slatkin. Poitras is not a Scientologist and lives in the Northern California community of Woodside. In December 2000, Poitras said, Slatkin told him about a computerized day-trading program he had developed that could generate 50% to 60% annual returns. According to the lawsuit, Poitras invested $5 million with Slatkin, then an additional $10 million in February, which was to be invested in an account that Poitras was supposed to be able to tap with 48 hours’ notice. When Poitras changed his mind about the second investment, however, Slatkin didn’t return the money, the lawsuit alleges. Poitras’ attorney, Richard S. Conn, said it appeared Slatkin was using money collected from recent investors to pay returns to earlier investors – an investment fraud commonly known as a Ponzi scheme.”

 
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Random Howdy

“People keep calling for the government to do something about Scientology. I just hope none of those people are the same people calling for a lot less government, because that would be kind of hypocritical, don’t you think? And I’ll leave it at that.”

 
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Full Court Press: What we’re watching at the Underground Bunker

Criminal prosecutions:
— Danny Masterson charged for raping three women: Found guilty on two counts on May 31, remanded to custody. Sentenced to 30 years to life on Sep 7, 2023. DA’s response to appeal brief due May 14.
— ‘Lafayette Ronald Hubbard’ (a/k/a Justin Craig), aggravated assault, plus drug charges: Grand jury indictments include charges from an assault while in custody. Next pretrial hearing May 12.
— David Gentile, GPB Capital, convicted of fraud. Pre-sentencing conference was held April 4. Sentencing hearing scheduled for May 5.

Civil litigation:
— Leah Remini v. Scientology, alleging ‘Fair Game’ harassment and defamation: Some defamation claims were removed by Judge Hammock. Judge Hammock’s ruling is on appeal. Leah’s appeal brief due June 3.
— Baxter, Baxter, and Paris v. Scientology, alleging labor trafficking: Forced to arbitration.
— Valerie Haney v. Scientology: Forced to ‘religious arbitration.’
— Chrissie Bixler et al. v. Scientology and Danny Masterson. Judge Upindra Kalra’s ruling denying Scientology’s motion to strike is on appeal.
— Jane Doe 1 v. Scientology, David Miscavige, and Gavin Potter: Case unsealed and second amended complaint filed. Scientology moves for religious arbitration, gets ruling to depose Jane Doe 1. Trial has been set for January 10, 2028.

 
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SCIENTOLOGY: FAIR GAME

After the success of their double-Emmy-winning, three-season A&E series ‘Scientology and the Aftermath,’ Leah Remini and Mike Rinder continue the conversation on their podcast, ‘Scientology: Fair Game.’ We’ve created a landing page where you can hear all of the episodes so far.

LEAH REMINI: SCIENTOLOGY AND THE AFTERMATH

An episode-by-episode guide to Leah Remini’s three-season, double-Emmy winning series that changed everything for Scientology watching. Originally aired from 2016 to 2019 on the A&E network, and now on Netflix.

SCIENTOLOGY’S CELEBRITIES, from A to Z

Find your favorite Hubbardite celeb at this index page — or suggest someone to add to the list!

 
Other links: SCIENTOLOGY BLACK OPS: Tom Cruise and dirty tricks. Scientology’s Ideal Orgs, from one end of the planet to the other. Scientology’s sneaky front groups, spreading the good news about L. Ron Hubbard while pretending to benefit society. Scientology Lit: Books reviewed or excerpted in a weekly series. How many have you read?

 
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THE WHOLE TRACK

[ONE year ago] The Scientology/Christian Science mix-up will live forever, but here’s a new look at it
[TWO years ago] What Marc Headley’s ‘Blown for Good’ says about Scientology ‘expert’ Hugh Martin Whitt
[THREE years ago] Danny Masterson’s rape prosecutors tell Calif. Supremes why his Scientology argument is weak
[FOUR years ago] Scientology is back! Fundraising back on to turn the entire country ‘Ideal,’ praise Xenu!
[FIVE years ago] Danny Masterson: Drop me from Scientology lawsuit if the ‘Jane Does’ won’t name themselves
[SIX years ago] Scientology measles ship back in Curaçao, which talks tough about quarantine
[SEVEN years ago] Federal judge smacks down Scientology’s shameless attempt to delay forced-abortion case
[EIGHT years ago] Forced abortions, beatings, and sleep deprivation: The FBI on Scientology’s Sea Org
[NINE years ago] Scientology confirms it won’t oppose Monique Rathbun’s plans to ditch lawsuit
[TEN years ago] More from a secretly-recorded executive griping about Scientology’s sad state of affairs
[ELEVEN years ago] Sunday Funnies: Scientology says, May the Fourth be with you
[TWELVE years ago] SCIENTOLOGY TO CALIFORNIA SUPREMES: State’s Priest-Penitent Law is Unconstitutional

 
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Posted by Tony Ortega on May 4, 2025 at 07:00

E-mail tips to tonyo94 AT gmail DOT com or follow us on Twitter. We also post updates at our Facebook author page. After every new story we send out an alert to our e-mail list and our FB page.

Our new book with Paulette Cooper, Battlefield Scientology: Exposing L. Ron Hubbard’s dangerous ‘religion’ is now on sale at Amazon in paperback and Kindle formats. Our book about Paulette, The Unbreakable Miss Lovely: How the Church of Scientology tried to destroy Paulette Cooper, is on sale at Amazon in paperback, Kindle, and audiobook versions. We’ve posted photographs of Paulette and scenes from her life at a separate location. Reader Sookie put together a complete index. More information can also be found at the book’s dedicated page.

The Best of the Underground Bunker, 1995-2023 Just starting out here? We’ve picked out the most important stories we’ve covered here at the Underground Bunker (2012-2023), The Village Voice (2008-2012), New Times Los Angeles (1999-2002) and the Phoenix New Times (1995-1999)

Other links: BLOGGING DIANETICS: Reading Scientology’s founding text cover to cover | UP THE BRIDGE: Claire Headley and Bruce Hines train us as Scientologists | GETTING OUR ETHICS IN: Jefferson Hawkins explains Scientology’s system of justice | SCIENTOLOGY MYTHBUSTING: Historian Jon Atack discusses key Scientology concepts | Shelly Miscavige, 15 years gone | The Lisa McPherson story told in real time | The Cathriona White stories | The Leah Remini ‘Knowledge Reports’ | Hear audio of a Scientology excommunication | Scientology’s little day care of horrors | Whatever happened to Steve Fishman? | Felony charges for Scientology’s drug rehab scam | Why Scientology digs bomb-proof vaults in the desert | PZ Myers reads L. Ron Hubbard’s “A History of Man” | Scientology’s Master Spies | The mystery of the richest Scientologist and his wayward sons | Scientology’s shocking mistreatment of the mentally ill | The Underground Bunker’s Official Theme Song | The Underground Bunker FAQ

Watch our short videos that explain Scientology’s controversies in three minutes or less…

Check your whale level at our dedicated page for status updates, or join us at the Underground Bunker’s Facebook discussion group for more frivolity.

Our non-Scientology stories: Robert Burnham Jr., the man who inscribed the universe | Notorious alt-right inspiration Kevin MacDonald and his theories about Jewish DNA | The selling of the “Phoenix Lights” | Astronomer Harlow Shapley‘s FBI file | Sex, spies, and local TV news | Battling Babe-Hounds: Ross Jeffries v. R. Don Steele

 

Tony Ortega at The Daily Beast

 

Tony Ortega at Rolling Stone