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Xenu is here with your 2024 Scientology holiday catalog!

TODAY AT SUBSTACK: If you’ve signed up for free emails at Substack, you will receive today’s feature story at your inbox: One of our readers is an ex-Scientologist who receives church mail even though they are a ‘declared’ enemy. And thank goodness, because our tipster received this gem this week: Is that Xenu, dressed up as an alien Santa Claus, on this year’s Scientology holiday gift catalog? [What is this Substack thing, anyway?]

 
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Technology Cocktail

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“Lameness and blindness are conditions. We want to know what problems legs or eyes can be to him, since legs and eyes are terminals. In running this command we reduce havingness too rapidly whenever we are stressing conditions. Therefore we run it only on terminals. In running it use only terminals. Handled in this way we do have the answer as of this moment, to chronic somatics. With these processes in SLP and the adequate repair and remedy of havingness we can push our preclears right up through the top.” — L. Ron Hubbard, 1972

 
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THE PROSECUTION OF DANNY MASTERSON

We first broke the news of the LAPD’s investigation of Scientology celebrity Danny Masterson on rape allegations in 2017, and we’ve been covering the story every step of the way since then. At this page we’ve collected our most important links as Danny faces a potential sentence of 45 years to life in prison. NOW WITH TRIAL INDEX.

 
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THE PODCAST: How many have you heard?

[1] Marc Headley [2] Claire Headley [3] Jeffrey Augustine [4] Bruce Hines [5] Sunny Pereira [6] Pete Griffiths [7] Geoff Levin [8] Patty Moher [9] Marc Headley [10] Jefferson Hawkins [11] Michelle ‘Emma’ Ryan [12] Paulette Cooper [13] Jesse Prince [14] Mark Bunker [15] Jon Atack [16] Mirriam Francis [17] Bruce Hines on MSH

— SPECIAL: The best TV show on Scientology you never got to see

[1] Phil Jones [2] Derek Bloch [3] Carol Nyburg [4] Katrina Reyes [5] Jamie DeWolf

— The first Danny Masterson trial and beyond

[18] Trial special with Chris Shelton [19] Trial week one [20] Marc Headley on the spy in the hallway [21] Trial week two [22] Trial week three [23] Trial week four [24] Leah Remini on LAPD Corruption [25] Mike Rinder 2022 Thanksgiving Special [26] Jane Doe 4 (Tricia Vessey), Part One [27] Jane Doe 4 (Tricia Vessey), Part Two [28] Claire Headley on the trial [29] Tory Christman [30] Bruce Hines on spying [31] Karen de la Carriere [32] Ron Miscavige on Shelly Miscavige [33] Karen de la Carriere on the L’s [34] Mark Bunker on Miscavige hiding [35] Mark Plummer [36] Mark Ebner [37] Karen Pressley [38] Steve Cannane [39] Fredrick Brennan [40] Clarissa Adams [41] Louise Shekter [42] John Sweeney [43] Tory Christman [44] Kate Bornstein [45] Christian Stolte [46] Mark Bunker [47] Jon Atack [48] Luke Y. Thompson [49] Mark Ebner [50] Bruce Hines [51] Spanky Taylor and Karen Pressley [51] Geoff and Robbie Levin [52] Sands Hall [53] Jonny Jacobsen [54] Sandy Holeman [55] Mark Bunker [56] Trish and Liz Conley [57] Trish Conley [58] Alex Barnes-Ross [59] Alex Barnes-Ross [60] Alex Barnes-Ross [61] Alex Barnes-Ross [62] Alex Barnes-Ross [63] Alex Barnes-Ross [64] Tory Christman [65] Tammy Synovec [66] Dennis Erlich [67] Alex Barnes-Ross [68] Valerie Ross [69] Kat in Austin [70] Mark Bunker [71] Phil Jones

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Source Code

“Every man there is, is a universe. You talk about God: The most you will know about God for probably a long time to come is you. If you want to know what God is all about, or if you want to know what you’re all about, you want to know what the fourth dynamic is all about, you consult the essential elements of ‘you-ness.’ Not buried, unconscious, submotivated, libido-icated, bypassed symbolizations of the left hind ruddy rod, which we therefore graph and say, ‘It’s all mysterious and you can’t understand you, so therefore we can own you.’ We’re not running that operation.” — L. Ron Hubbard, November 10, 1952

 
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Avast, Ye Mateys

“We may or may not have been responsible for the demise of the scandal sheet l’Opinion which was suddenly shot down and seized, statedly because it had printed adverse materials on corruption in the government. This was a vehicle used by MI-6 (British Intelligence), and CIA, the US agency that specializes in false reports. We have clashed with l’Opinion a few times in the past and have generally gotten the better of them. We were about to clash with them again but why bother with a dead body. The other newspapers in that area have now been nationalized and the former company which ran them has been bought out or pushed out by the government.” — The Commodore, November 10, 1971

 
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Overheard in the FreeZone

“We have very good results with Skype processing. There are cases who work better by Skype, there are other cases which prefer processing in person. Wins of a PC is the only criteria of results of processing. What is really bad is when one person starts to make another person wrong for delivery processing, using Skype or not. And this is a real suppression. Skype processing formally is a substitute at havingness scale. It is not too low at this scale. And it WORKS good for many, many, many PCs.”

 
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Past is Prologue

2001: Popular web site somethingawful.com was the recipient of a complaint from Scientology for an article they ran comparing Scientology to the Taliban. “A guy known mysteriously as ‘GST’ e-mailed me about my article which compared the Taliban to Scientology. He wanted me to take it down because it was hateful and he whined about the fact that Scientology was helping the victims of the WTC attack put their lives back together – with ‘E Meters’ of course. Today Lowtax notified me that The Church of Scientology was initiating some sassy legal action against us. They had contacted our web host CAIS and essentially threatened to sue them for over a hundred thousand dollars unless we removed a copyrighted photo of L. Ron Hubbard from Something Awful. The photo in question was of L. Ronnykins in some stupid captain’s hat looking wistfully out at the piles of money he’s raped out of people’s bank accounts or something. We took the photograph down and replaced it with a rendering of L. Ron Hubbard. It turns out that we were wrong. By unsheathing their mighty legal sword the not-at-all insane Church of Scientology has proven to us that they are in fact a benevolent religion. We’ve also decided to begin a campaign to show our support for the Church of Scientology, which really
is looking out for the good of all mankind. I encourage all readers of Something Awful to try their hand at creating an exciting and uplifting work of art based on Scientology.”

 
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Random Howdy

“Past life Scientologists have to do the Basics all over again just like everybody else. Fair is fair, ya know?”

 
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Full Court Press: What we’re watching at the Underground Bunker

Criminal prosecutions:
Danny Masterson charged for raping three women: Found guilty on two counts on May 31, remanded to custody. Sentenced to 30 years to life on Sep 7.
‘Lafayette Ronald Hubbard’ (a/k/a Justin Craig), aggravated assault, plus drug charges: Grand jury indictments include charges from an assault while in custody. Next pretrial hearing May 31, 2024.
David Gentile, GPB Capital, fraud.

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Civil litigation:
Leah Remini v. Scientology, alleging ‘Fair Game’ harassment and defamation: Some defamation claims were removed by Judge Hammock. Leah seeking to amend her complaint.
Baxter, Baxter, and Paris v. Scientology, alleging labor trafficking: Forced to arbitration.
Valerie Haney v. Scientology: Forced to ‘religious arbitration.’
Chrissie Bixler et al. v. Scientology and Danny Masterson: motion to file new complaint, hearing on May 29.
Jane Doe 1 v. Scientology, David Miscavige, and Gavin Potter: Case unsealed and second amended complaint filed. Scientology moves for religious arbitration, on hold until appeal over new judge heard.
Chiropractors Steve Peyroux and Brent Detelich, stem cell fraud: Ordered to mediation.

 
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SCIENTOLOGY: FAIR GAME

After the success of their double-Emmy-winning, three-season A&E series ‘Scientology and the Aftermath,’ Leah Remini and Mike Rinder continue the conversation on their podcast, ‘Scientology: Fair Game.’ We’ve created a landing page where you can hear all of the episodes so far.

LEAH REMINI: SCIENTOLOGY AND THE AFTERMATH

An episode-by-episode guide to Leah Remini’s three-season, double-Emmy winning series that changed everything for Scientology watching. Originally aired from 2016 to 2019 on the A&E network, and now on Netflix.

SCIENTOLOGY’S CELEBRITIES, from A to Z

Find your favorite Hubbardite celeb at this index page — or suggest someone to add to the list!

 
Other links: SCIENTOLOGY BLACK OPS: Tom Cruise and dirty tricks. Scientology’s Ideal Orgs, from one end of the planet to the other. Scientology’s sneaky front groups, spreading the good news about L. Ron Hubbard while pretending to benefit society. Scientology Lit: Books reviewed or excerpted in a weekly series. How many have you read?

 
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THE WHOLE TRACK

[ONE year ago] Danny Masterson’s victims strike back at Scientology’s attempt to gut their lawsuit
[TWO years ago] Prosecution in Danny Masterson trial scheduled to rest after odd turns on Wednesday
[THREE years ago] Jim Dincalci, 1946-2021: Medical officer to Scientology’s L. Ron Hubbard on the high seas
[FOUR years ago] Trouble in the Scientology FreeZone! Even ‘Indies’ are suing each other
[FIVE years ago] Scientology promotes its expensive propaganda TV channel one flier at a time
[SIX years ago] Bent Corydon on Scientology’s Sunday night massacre: ‘We all clapped at the right places’
[SEVEN years ago] If Trump is serious, he has a clear path to go at Scientology — through his Treasury Secretary
[EIGHT years ago] L. Ron Hubbard on the run: When the Daily Mail was hounding Scientology’s founder in ’66
[NINE years ago] Narconon is dead, long live Narconon! How Scientology solved its drug rehab addiction
[TEN years ago] Ryan Hamilton’s next move: Consolidating his Narconon litigation into one big case
[ELEVEN years ago] Scientology Attacks Garcia Filing; Marc Headley Schools Clearwater’s Mayor

 
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Scientology disconnection, a reminder

Bernie Headley (1952-2019) did not see his daughter Stephanie in his final 5,667 days.
Joe Reaiche (1958-2024) did not see his daughter Alanna Masterson in his final 6,999 days.

Tammy Synovec has not seen her daughter Julia in 3,079 days.
Valerie Haney has not seen her mother Lynne in 3,574 days.
Katrina Reyes has not seen her mother Yelena in 4,089 days
Sylvia Wagner DeWall has not seen her brother Randy in 3,639 days.
Brian Sheen has not seen his grandson Leo in 2,629 days.
Klaus Büchele has not seen his daughter Jasmin in 5,015 days.
Geoff Levin has not seen his son Collin and daughter Savannah in 2,510 days.
Christie Collbran has not seen her mother Liz King in 5,814 days.
Clarissa Adams has not seen her parents Walter and Irmin Huber in 3,685 days.
Jamie Sorrentini Lugli has not seen her father Irving in 5,237 days.
Quailynn McDaniel has not seen her brother Sean in 4,578 days.
Dylan Gill has not seen his father Russell in 13,145 days.
Melissa Paris has not seen her father Jean-Francois in 9,064 days.
Valeska Paris has not seen her brother Raphael in 5,232 days.
Mirriam Francis has not seen her brother Ben in 4,814 days.
Claudio and Renata Lugli have not seen their son Flavio in 5,074 days.
Sara Goldberg has not seen her daughter Ashley in 4,110 days.
Lori Hodgson has not seen her son Jeremy and daughter Jessica in 3,826 days.
Marie Bilheimer has not seen her mother June in 3,390 days.
Julian Wain has not seen his brother Joseph or mother Susan in 1,705 days.
Charley Updegrove has not seen his son Toby in 2,880 days.
Derek Bloch has not seen his father Darren in 4,562 days.
Cindy Plahuta has not seen her daughter Kara in 4,899 days.
Roger Weller has not seen his daughter Alyssa in 9,753 days.
Claire Headley has not seen her mother Gen in 4,868 days.
Ramana Dienes-Browning has not seen her mother Jancis in 3,230 days.
Mike Rinder has not seen his son Benjamin and daughter Taryn in 7,533 days.
Brian Sheen has not seen his daughter Spring in 3,639 days.
Skip Young has not seen his daughters Megan and Alexis in 4,037 days.
Mary Kahn has not seen her son Sammy in 3,913 days.
Lois Reisdorf has not seen her son Craig in 3,478 days.
Phil and Willie Jones have not seen their son Mike and daughter Emily in 3,989 days.
Mary Jane Barry has not seen her daughter Samantha in 4,245 days.
Kate Bornstein has not seen her daughter Jessica in 15,353 days.

 
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Posted by Tony Ortega on November 10, 2024 at 07:00

E-mail tips to tonyo94 AT gmail DOT com or follow us on Twitter. We also post updates at our Facebook author page. After every new story we send out an alert to our e-mail list and our FB page.

Our new book with Paulette Cooper, Battlefield Scientology: Exposing L. Ron Hubbard’s dangerous ‘religion’ is now on sale at Amazon in paperback and Kindle formats. Our book about Paulette, The Unbreakable Miss Lovely: How the Church of Scientology tried to destroy Paulette Cooper, is on sale at Amazon in paperback, Kindle, and audiobook versions. We’ve posted photographs of Paulette and scenes from her life at a separate location. Reader Sookie put together a complete index. More information can also be found at the book’s dedicated page.

The Best of the Underground Bunker, 1995-2023 Just starting out here? We’ve picked out the most important stories we’ve covered here at the Underground Bunker (2012-2023), The Village Voice (2008-2012), New Times Los Angeles (1999-2002) and the Phoenix New Times (1995-1999)

Other links: BLOGGING DIANETICS: Reading Scientology’s founding text cover to cover | UP THE BRIDGE: Claire Headley and Bruce Hines train us as Scientologists | GETTING OUR ETHICS IN: Jefferson Hawkins explains Scientology’s system of justice | SCIENTOLOGY MYTHBUSTING: Historian Jon Atack discusses key Scientology concepts | Shelly Miscavige, 15 years gone | The Lisa McPherson story told in real time | The Cathriona White stories | The Leah Remini ‘Knowledge Reports’ | Hear audio of a Scientology excommunication | Scientology’s little day care of horrors | Whatever happened to Steve Fishman? | Felony charges for Scientology’s drug rehab scam | Why Scientology digs bomb-proof vaults in the desert | PZ Myers reads L. Ron Hubbard’s “A History of Man” | Scientology’s Master Spies | The mystery of the richest Scientologist and his wayward sons | Scientology’s shocking mistreatment of the mentally ill | The Underground Bunker’s Official Theme Song | The Underground Bunker FAQ

Watch our short videos that explain Scientology’s controversies in three minutes or less…

Check your whale level at our dedicated page for status updates, or join us at the Underground Bunker’s Facebook discussion group for more frivolity.

Our non-Scientology stories: Robert Burnham Jr., the man who inscribed the universe | Notorious alt-right inspiration Kevin MacDonald and his theories about Jewish DNA | The selling of the “Phoenix Lights” | Astronomer Harlow Shapley‘s FBI file | Sex, spies, and local TV news | Battling Babe-Hounds: Ross Jeffries v. R. Don Steele

 

Tony Ortega at The Daily Beast

 

Tony Ortega at Rolling Stone

 

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