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Scientology’s latest fundraising brainstorm: Braveheart and big swords!

[Give us your money!]

Here we go again, campers! You know them, Scientology’s ludicrously long fundraising fliers, which come out after a big money-soaked event. And once again, it’s the marks in Toronto who are being featured.

Just this past March, we told you that Toronto had put out one of the best of these fliers we’d ever seen, which keyed off a wild “Mission Earth” theme, founder L. Ron Hubbard’s horrendous ten-part disastrous sex-romp-in-space.

Well, we have to give these folks points for at least trying to outdo that craziness with something almost as nutty: a Braveheart theme, and with real swords!

And once again, this baby is really, really long and probably won’t fit in the email we send you when this story goes live. However, we know that you love these things as much as we do, so we’re just going to put the whole darn thing in here, and you may have to go to the Substack site directly to see it all. Here we go!





Technology Cocktail

“All we really have to do to win is to get clear and clear others, the while keeping on with the routine demands of life. As startling as clearing is today, as impressive as it is to learn Scientology well at the Academy, yet these things can be done rather easily. Clear is now no esoteric goal. It can be reached in a few weeks of highly skilled auditing.” — L. Ron Hubbard, 1958



We first broke the news of the LAPD’s investigation of Scientology celebrity Danny Masterson on rape allegations in 2017, and we’ve been covering the story every step of the way since then. At this page we’ve collected our most important links as Danny faces a potential sentence of 45 years to life in prison. NOW WITH TRIAL INDEX.


THE PODCAST: How many have you heard?

[1] Marc Headley [2] Claire Headley [3] Jeffrey Augustine [4] Bruce Hines [5] Sunny Pereira [6] Pete Griffiths [7] Geoff Levin [8] Patty Moher [9] Marc Headley [10] Jefferson Hawkins [11] Michelle ‘Emma’ Ryan [12] Paulette Cooper [13] Jesse Prince [14] Mark Bunker [15] Jon Atack [16] Mirriam Francis [17] Bruce Hines on MSH

— SPECIAL: The best TV show on Scientology you never got to see

[1] Phil Jones [2] Derek Bloch [3] Carol Nyburg [4] Katrina Reyes [5] Jamie DeWolf

— The first Danny Masterson trial and beyond


[18] Trial special with Chris Shelton [19] Trial week one [20] Marc Headley on the spy in the hallway [21] Trial week two [22] Trial week three [23] Trial week four [24] Leah Remini on LAPD Corruption [25] Mike Rinder 2022 Thanksgiving Special [26] Jane Doe 4 (Tricia Vessey), Part One [27] Jane Doe 4 (Tricia Vessey), Part Two [28] Claire Headley on the trial [29] Tory Christman [30] Bruce Hines on spying [31] Karen de la Carriere [32] Ron Miscavige on Shelly Miscavige [33] Karen de la Carriere on the L’s [34] Mark Bunker on Miscavige hiding [35] Mark Plummer [36] Mark Ebner [37] Karen Pressley [38] Steve Cannane [39] Fredrick Brennan [40] Clarissa Adams [41] Louise Shekter [42] John Sweeney


Source Code

“Now, you’re a registrar and somebody is coming in, or you’re signing up PCs. (All of you have to wear a registrar’s hat at one time or another.) And you’re trying to get somebody to get some auditing, you’re a registrar, see? And there you are one fine day with a yow-yow-yow and a scream-scream-scream standing in front of your face: Seventy-five hours of auditing have been delivered — he feels terrible! He says, ‘Oh, I could kill everybody in the place,’ and he ought to go out and sue everybody, and he’s going to inform the government that so on and so on and so on and so on-yap, yap, yap, you never hear such a thing. Don’t worry too much about the threats, because the person totally lacks direction. Person will go halfway down the steps and change his mind and do something else, don’t you see? They’re incapable of carrying forward a program that has any cohesion or direction, see.” — L. Ron Hubbard, May 28, 1963


Avast, Ye Mateys

“GOOD NEWS: The Governor’s Office of Calif is commending us for the Narco-non and Drug Abuse Campaigns and our effectiveness in this field. This is a second official one only days apart evidently. Also the Gov of Calif’s son is reported planning to join the SO.” — The Commodore, May 28, 1970


Overheard in the FreeZone

“I’ve had most of this stuff, and it’s broadly all there. Remote viewing I do when I’m in the body, otherwise I go there in person, i.e., in spirit. I just go. I don’t pass through space or cross time or any of that stuff. It’s like I want to be somewhere I’m there. And yes, all that other bullshit, essentially tech below Buddha, isn’t going to do shit except make you feel a bit better. You’re not going to start to really know until you do PDC and the OT levels. Not that you couldn’t run into bits of it on other auditing, but no one on the Grades is going to run into this stuff by accident. It’s impossible.”



Past is Prologue

2001: Jam Showbiz News reported on May 31st that the animated sequel to Battlefield Earth is in production. “Generally regarded as one of the most reviled big-budget films in recent history, the film of ‘Battlefield Earth’ was based on Scientology founder L. Ron Hubbard’s novel of the same name. Despite the poor showing, Hubbard’s book has been licensed for a 13 episode animated series, to be done in the highly stylized Japanese animation format known as manga. Travolta will apparently not be providing the voice of Terl. Dan Haggerty, best known as TV’s Grizzly Adams, will fill the role, with action hero Chow Yun-Fat (Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon) mentioned as a voice for the non-English version of the series.”


Random Howdy

“I’m from S.F. and the Jonestown massacre happened on November 18, 1978 and the Moscone/Milk assassinations happened on November 27, 1978. So yeah, it was definitely a very strange and stressful time to be living in Frisco. It seemed like Armageddon. My father worked with a guy named Fred Lewis who lost 27 relatives at Jonestown. As far as a Jonestown-like event happening at Gold Base, I find it doubtful, but if the ‘perfect storm’ of mishaps, misadventures, miscommunications took place, like at Waco, it’s possible. I think Miscavige is more the mob boss type than the fanatical cult leader type. That’s a major factor.”


Full Court Press: What we’re watching at the Underground Bunker

Criminal prosecutions:
Danny Masterson charged for raping three women: Mistrial declared November 30. Retrial scheduled, jury selection begins March 29. Next pretrial hearing: Feb 16.
‘Lafayette Ronald Hubbard’ (a/k/a Justin Craig), aggravated assault, plus drug charges: Grand jury indictments include charges from an assault while in custody. Next pretrial hearing Feb 13.
Rizza Islam, Medi-Cal fraud: Trial scheduled for March 1 in Los Angeles
David Gentile, GPB Capital, fraud: Next status conference Feb 13.

Civil litigation:
Baxter, Baxter, and Paris v. Scientology, alleging labor trafficking: Complaint filed April 28 in Tampa federal court, Scientology moving to compel arbitration. Plaintiffs filed amended complaint on August 2. Hearing November 17 to argue the arbitration motions, awaiting ruling.
Valerie Haney v. Scientology: Forced to ‘religious arbitration.’ Selection of arbitrators underway. Next court hearing: March 15, 2023.
Chrissie Bixler et al. v. Scientology and Danny Masterson: Appellate court removes requirement of arbitration on January 19, case remanded back to Superior Court. Stay in place at least through February 7.
Author Steve Cannane defamation trial: New trial ordered after appeals court overturned prior ruling.
Chiropractors Steve Peyroux and Brent Detelich, stem cell fraud: Lawsuit filed by the FTC and state of Georgia in August, now in discovery phase.



After the success of their double-Emmy-winning, three-season A&E series ‘Scientology and the Aftermath,’ Leah Remini and Mike Rinder continue the conversation on their podcast, ‘Scientology: Fair Game.’ We’ve created a landing page where you can hear all of the episodes so far.


An episode-by-episode guide to Leah Remini’s three-season, double-Emmy winning series that changed everything for Scientology watching. Originally aired from 2016 to 2019 on the A&E network, and now on Netflix.


Find your favorite Hubbardite celeb at this index page — or suggest someone to add to the list!

Other links: SCIENTOLOGY BLACK OPS: Tom Cruise and dirty tricks. Scientology’s Ideal Orgs, from one end of the planet to the other. Scientology’s sneaky front groups, spreading the good news about L. Ron Hubbard while pretending to benefit society. Scientology Lit: Books reviewed or excerpted in a weekly series. How many have you read?


[ONE year ago] Chris Shelton interviews Katherine Olson, who only escaped Scientology’s Sea Org last year
[TWO years ago] Ten Days That Shook The (Scientology) World: Dave and Danny’s very bad predicament
[THREE years ago] Scientology’s hammy Grant Cardone and the political operator: A significant connection?
[FOUR years ago] Scientology’s happy promotions can’t hide the cancer eating away at its core
[FIVE years ago] Joy Villa makes it back to the White House, but on a sour note
[SIX years ago] Child deaths at a pop concert turn into the latest chance for Scientology to spread its propaganda
[SEVEN years ago] Will Scientology’s celebrities heed the call and show up for today’s big media center opening?
[EIGHT years ago] Former Scientologist found guilty of defrauding other exes — ALSO: 1998 film re-release
[NINE years ago] Scientology’s drug rehab system hit with tenth federal fraud lawsuit by Las Vegas attorney
[TEN years ago] Scientology Gets Emotional: Claire Headley on the Tone Scale


Scientology disconnection, a reminder

Bernie Headley (1952-2019) did not see his daughter Stephanie in his final 5,667 days.
Valerie Haney has not seen her mother Lynne in 3,043 days.
Katrina Reyes has not seen her mother Yelena in 3,548 days
Sylvia Wagner DeWall has not seen her brother Randy in 3,098 days.
Brian Sheen has not seen his grandson Leo in 2,088 days.
Geoff Levin has not seen his son Collin and daughter Savannah in 1,979 days.
Christie Collbran has not seen her mother Liz King in 5,283 days.
Clarissa Adams has not seen her parents Walter and Irmin Huber in 3,154 days.
Doug Kramer has not seen his parents Linda and Norm in 2,259 days.
Jamie Sorrentini Lugli has not seen her father Irving in 4,706 days.
Quailynn McDaniel has not seen her brother Sean in 4,048 days.
Dylan Gill has not seen his father Russell in 12,614 days.
Melissa Paris has not seen her father Jean-Francois in 8,533 days.
Valeska Paris has not seen her brother Raphael in 4,701 days.
Mirriam Francis has not seen her brother Ben in 4,282 days.
Claudio and Renata Lugli have not seen their son Flavio in 4,543 days.
Sara Goldberg has not seen her daughter Ashley in 3,579 days.
Lori Hodgson has not seen her son Jeremy and daughter Jessica in 3,295 days.
Marie Bilheimer has not seen her mother June in 2,859 days.
Julian Wain has not seen his brother Joseph or mother Susan in 1,174 days.
Charley Updegrove has not seen his son Toby in 2,349 days.
Joe Reaiche has not seen his daughter Alanna Masterson in 6,900 days
Derek Bloch has not seen his father Darren in 4,031 days.
Cindy Plahuta has not seen her daughter Kara in 4,369 days.
Roger Weller has not seen his daughter Alyssa in 9,224 days.
Claire Headley has not seen her mother Gen in 4,343 days.
Ramana Dienes-Browning has not seen her mother Jancis in 2,699 days.
Mike Rinder has not seen his son Benjamin and daughter Taryn in 7,002 days.
Brian Sheen has not seen his daughter Spring in 3,108 days.
Skip Young has not seen his daughters Megan and Alexis in 3,506 days.
Mary Kahn has not seen her son Sammy in 3,382 days.
Lois Reisdorf has not seen her son Craig in 2,965 days.
Phil and Willie Jones have not seen their son Mike and daughter Emily in 3,460 days.
Mary Jane Barry has not seen her daughter Samantha in 3,714 days.
Kate Bornstein has not seen her daughter Jessica in 14,823 days.


Posted by Tony Ortega on May 28, 2023 at 07:00

E-mail tips to tonyo94 AT gmail DOT com or follow us on Twitter. We also post updates at our Facebook author page. After every new story we send out an alert to our e-mail list and our FB page.

Our new book with Paulette Cooper, Battlefield Scientology: Exposing L. Ron Hubbard’s dangerous ‘religion’ is now on sale at Amazon in paperback and Kindle formats. Our book about Paulette, The Unbreakable Miss Lovely: How the Church of Scientology tried to destroy Paulette Cooper, is on sale at Amazon in paperback, Kindle, and audiobook versions. We’ve posted photographs of Paulette and scenes from her life at a separate location. Reader Sookie put together a complete index. More information can also be found at the book’s dedicated page.

The Best of the Underground Bunker, 1995-2022 Just starting out here? We’ve picked out the most important stories we’ve covered here at the Underground Bunker (2012-2022), The Village Voice (2008-2012), New Times Los Angeles (1999-2002) and the Phoenix New Times (1995-1999)

Other links: BLOGGING DIANETICS: Reading Scientology’s founding text cover to cover | UP THE BRIDGE: Claire Headley and Bruce Hines train us as Scientologists | GETTING OUR ETHICS IN: Jefferson Hawkins explains Scientology’s system of justice | SCIENTOLOGY MYTHBUSTING: Historian Jon Atack discusses key Scientology concepts | Shelly Miscavige, 15 years gone | The Lisa McPherson story told in real time | The Cathriona White stories | The Leah Remini ‘Knowledge Reports’ | Hear audio of a Scientology excommunication | Scientology’s little day care of horrors | Whatever happened to Steve Fishman? | Felony charges for Scientology’s drug rehab scam | Why Scientology digs bomb-proof vaults in the desert | PZ Myers reads L. Ron Hubbard’s “A History of Man” | Scientology’s Master Spies | The mystery of the richest Scientologist and his wayward sons | Scientology’s shocking mistreatment of the mentally ill | The Underground Bunker’s Official Theme Song | The Underground Bunker FAQ

Watch our short videos that explain Scientology’s controversies in three minutes or less…

Check your whale level at our dedicated page for status updates, or join us at the Underground Bunker’s Facebook discussion group for more frivolity.

Our non-Scientology stories: Robert Burnham Jr., the man who inscribed the universe | Notorious alt-right inspiration Kevin MacDonald and his theories about Jewish DNA | The selling of the “Phoenix Lights” | Astronomer Harlow Shapley‘s FBI file | Sex, spies, and local TV news | Battling Babe-Hounds: Ross Jeffries v. R. Don Steele


Tony Ortega at The Daily Beast


Tony Ortega at Rolling Stone


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