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VIDEO: Finally, mathematical proof that Scientology’s body thetans can’t exist!

We have a grab-bag of fun stuff for you this morning. First up, Jeffrey Augustine let us know that he’s adding a YouTube channel to his Scientology Money Project blog.

And he’s starting things off with a very fun deconstruction of one of Scientology’s most iconic legends, Xenu’s genocide that brought “body thetans” to Teegeeack, also known as Planet Earth.

What do you think? Has Jeffrey finally found the scientific explanation that makes L. Ron Hubbard’s notion of invisible space cooties impossible?

Let us know!



Second up, Chris Shelton had us on his YouTube channel to talk about our Lisa Marie Presley story this week, which we put together based on conversations we had with her in 2015.

We really enjoyed talking to Chris about this, and we hope you dig it too.


We also received a couple of bonus items from our tipsters this week.

Does Venezuelan actress Ruddy Rodriguez coming to Chicago suggest that the grand opening of the Ideal Org there is imminent?

We urge our Chicago friends to keep a close eye on the building at 650 S Clark St for any telltale giant ribbons and bows on it.



And whew, it’s good to see that Scientology leader David Miscavige hasn’t given up on the plan to open Ideal Orgs everywhere all at once.

Get your wallets out, people!



Technology Cocktail

“I know of several savage races which find so little meaning in sex that they do not even bother to trace ancestry seriously, and when they do wish to connect themselves with a family connect
themselves on the mother’s side, as one can be fairly certain what woman bore him when one is uncertain as to who influenced the birth from the masculine side. Yet these races, free as the wind on the second dynamic, are yet intensely aberrated in other quarters. Some are aberrated on the eighth dynamic of God, some on the first of self. The American Indian, for instance, is enormously aberrated in the field of animals, but not much inhibited in the field of sex.” — L. Ron Hubbard, 1956



We first broke the news of the LAPD’s investigation of Scientology celebrity Danny Masterson on rape allegations in 2017, and we’ve been covering the story every step of the way since then. At this page we’ve collected our most important links as Danny faces a potential sentence of 45 years to life in prison. NOW WITH TRIAL INDEX.



THE PODCAST: How many have you heard?

— The Underground Bunker Podcast

[1] Marc Headley [2] Claire Headley [3] Jeffrey Augustine [4] Bruce Hines [5] Sunny Pereira [6] Pete Griffiths [7] Geoff Levin [8] Patty Moher [9] Marc Headley [10] Jefferson Hawkins [11] Michelle ‘Emma’ Ryan [12] Paulette Cooper [13] Jesse Prince [14] Mark Bunker [15] Jon Atack [16] Mirriam Francis [17] Bruce Hines on MSH

— SPECIAL: The best TV show on Scientology you never got to see

[1] Phil Jones [2] Derek Bloch [3] Carol Nyburg [4] Katrina Reyes [5] Jamie DeWolf

— SPECIAL: Your Proprietor’s updates on the Danny Masterson trial

[1] Sep 21 [2] Sep 28 [3] Oct 4 [4] Oct 10 [5] Oct 11: Day One [6] Oct 12: Day Two [7] Oct 13: Day Three [8] Oct 17: Day Four [9] Oct 18: Day Five [10] Oct 19: Day Six [11] Special interview with Chris Shelton, Oct 19 [12] Oct 20: Day Seven [13] Oct 21: Day Eight [14] First week in review, with Jeffrey Augustine [15] Oct 24: Day Nine [16] Oct 25: Day Ten [17] Oct 27: Day Eleven [18] Oct 28: Day Twelve [19] Second week in review, with Jeffrey Augustine [20] Halloween special [21] Nov 2: Day Thirteen [22] Nov 3: Day Fourteen [23] Nov 4: Day Fifteen [24] Third week in review [25] Nov 5, Saturday special [26] Nov 6, Sunday special [27] Nov 7, Day Sixteen [28] Lisa Marie Presley breaking news [29] Nov 8, Day Seventeen [30] Nov 9, Day Eighteen [31] Nov 10, Day Nineteen


Source Code

“If I walked into an org at any given instant, I would look the place over, I would probably move all the executives out of the service space. And that’s usually my first action in an org. I’m not kidding you. I move all the executives out of the service space, and that’s my first day. And work with their creditor set up so that there won’t be foreclosed on the second day. And by that time I have looked over enough of the situation, and I get a big idea as to what we can offer right now, and we offer it very promptly on any open communication line that is. And you have a special project number one, which you will be given, which is, that’s a special project. That doesn’t include with the FEBC pack; it’s with your pack, but it’s the big idea that you can do right now. And it’s already under a bit of flight, this particular one, and we haven’t got the full results on this yet. But apparently it’s producing people, and they walk in and they actually do start moving through the org lines. So you’ve got a special dissem project number one, which is a good idea.” — L. Ron Hubbard, February 3, 1971



Avast, Ye Mateys

“Planning is to organize the Greek University of Philosophy for Corfu. They had one and in the war it was bombed out, then taken over to and by Athens. Greek VIPs of Corfu would be the Trustees. It would teach all philosophies, use Greek professors. It would have a Scn Dept. We would put an OA here and leave the UK one running. No Class VIII in this AO. Operation and Transport Services would run the AO and also procure students from Universities over the world, like professors and instructors from other universities to take courses in Corfu. The University would publish a Journal where other university professors couuld publish papers. The Greek Trustees would organize it, incorporate it. OTS would pay a % of the Scn Dept. The university would pay a percent to OTS for procuring students. Students will come to Corfu and live ashore, register and get courses on ATHENA. This is until our own Greek incorporation comes through and we could then use offices ashore, 2 of which are already rented and waiting but can’t be used until we are registered in Greece.” — The Commodore, February 3, 1969


Overheard in the FreeZone

“For the last 11 years I have been conducting a structured, methodical examination of my past. I do some positive gain work as well, but it is primarily discovering what has happened. I have about 11,000 hours of work done so far. I’m now down to 5 minutes to 2 hours a day, 3 to 4 times a week. For about 2 years, approx 1/4 of my work was toward overts and motivators. There are a few things I have found that work for me. This is deep whole track research. Once I find a believed basic on a chain of overts, I look for the prior confusion. That is well known.”


Past is Prologue

1999: The Associated Press reported this week that Heber Jentzsch, president of the Church of Scientology International, predicts growth and acceptance in Europe. “The Los Angeles-based church created by late science fiction writer L. Ron Hubbard has been persistent in attempts to become recognized as a legitimate religion, said the Rev. Heber Jentzsch, president of Church of Scientology International. ‘There is a shift,’ he said. ‘Scientology has become visible. It will happen in the next five years, maybe 10 years.’ ‘It’s not been easy. But we never thought of withdrawing,’ Jentzsch said from the church’s European headquarters in Copenhagen. ‘Any new religion, any new ideas will be fought. There is an old guard that is threatened by anything that is new.’ Jentzsch said much of the problem stems from misinformation that remains from U.S. investigations into the church in the 1960s and 1970s. He also rejected reports that people who want to leave the church are harassed.”


Random Howdy


“Scientology/Dianetics was originally intended to END with going Clear. And then LRH realized the short con of that was going to run dry, so he came up with the LONG CON of the OT levels. It’s that simple.”


Full Court Press: What we’re watching at the Underground Bunker

Criminal prosecutions:
Danny Masterson charged for raping three women: Mistrial declared November 30. Retrial scheduled, jury selection begins March 29.
‘Lafayette Ronald Hubbard’ (a/k/a Justin Craig), aggravated assault, plus drug charges: Grand jury indictments include charges from an assault while in custody. Plea deadline scheduled for December 16.
Jay and Jeff Spina, Medicare fraud: Jay sentenced to 9 years in prison. Jeff scheduled to time served with three years supervised release, restitution of $9.7 million.
Rizza Islam, Medi-Cal fraud: Trial scheduled for March 1 in Los Angeles
David Gentile, GPB Capital, fraud: Next pretrial hearing December 9.
Yanti Mike Greene, Scientology private eye accused of contempt of court: Found guilty of criminal and civil contempt.

Civil litigation:
Baxter, Baxter, and Paris v. Scientology, alleging labor trafficking: Complaint filed April 28 in Tampa federal court, Scientology moving to compel arbitration. Plaintiffs filed amended complaint on August 2. Hearing November 17 to argue the arbitration motions, awaiting ruling.
Valerie Haney v. Scientology: Forced to ‘religious arbitration.’ Selection of arbitrators underway. Next court hearing: February 2, 2023.
Chrissie Bixler et al. v. Scientology and Danny Masterson: Appellate court removes requirement of arbitration on January 19, case remanded back to Superior Court. Stay in place at least through February 7.
Brian Statler Sr v. City of Inglewood: Case settled ahead of scheduled Dec 6 trial.
Author Steve Cannane defamation trial: New trial ordered after appeals court overturned prior ruling.
Chiropractors Steve Peyroux and Brent Detelich, stem cell fraud: Lawsuit filed by the FTC and state of Georgia in August, now in discovery phase.



After the success of their double-Emmy-winning, three-season A&E series ‘Scientology and the Aftermath,’ Leah Remini and Mike Rinder continue the conversation on their podcast, ‘Scientology: Fair Game.’ We’ve created a landing page where you can hear all of the episodes so far.


An episode-by-episode guide to Leah Remini’s three-season, double-Emmy winning series that changed everything for Scientology watching. Originally aired from 2016 to 2019 on the A&E network, and now on Netflix.


Find your favorite Hubbardite celeb at this index page — or suggest someone to add to the list!

Other links: SCIENTOLOGY BLACK OPS: Tom Cruise and dirty tricks. Scientology’s Ideal Orgs, from one end of the planet to the other. Scientology’s sneaky front groups, spreading the good news about L. Ron Hubbard while pretending to benefit society. Scientology Lit: Books reviewed or excerpted in a weekly series. How many have you read?


[ONE year ago] Scientology may be struggling, but the push for your cash is still on, thetans!
[TWO years ago] Is ‘Balance of Nature’ actually Scientology? Well, they have a Hubbard College in their HQ.
[THREE years ago] Scientology builds tiny new drug rehab, marking Narconon’s dwindling US fortunes
[FOUR years ago] Xenu’s ghost! This year’s Scientology Super Bowl ad looks a lot like the others
[FIVE years ago] What L. Ron Hubbard said about religion — before Scientology became a ‘church’
[SIX years ago] Leah Remini books the Bill Maher show, gets swung at by Giovanni Ribisi
[SEVEN years ago] Ray Jeffrey fends off Scientology’s attempt to get him in hot water with the California Bar
[EIGHT years ago] When Richard Nixon ordered the Secret Service to investigate Scientology
[NINE years ago] Monique Rathbun tries to slap down Scientology’s ‘anti-SLAPP’ motion in court today
[TEN years ago] Super Sunday Funnies: Live-Blogging Scientology’s Super Bowl Ad!
[ELEVEN years ago] Scientology on the High Seas: Squirrel Cookery!


Scientology disconnection, a reminder

Bernie Headley (1952-2019) did not see his daughter Stephanie in his final 5,667 days.
Valerie Haney has not seen her mother Lynne in 2,929 days.
Katrina Reyes has not seen her mother Yelena in 3,434 days
Sylvia Wagner DeWall has not seen her brother Randy in 2,984 days.
Brian Sheen has not seen his grandson Leo in 1,974 days.
Geoff Levin has not seen his son Collin and daughter Savannah in 1,865 days.
Christie Collbran has not seen her mother Liz King in 5,169 days.
Clarissa Adams has not seen her parents Walter and Irmin Huber in 3,040 days.
Doug Kramer has not seen his parents Linda and Norm in 2,145 days.
Jamie Sorrentini Lugli has not seen her father Irving in 4,618 days.
Quailynn McDaniel has not seen her brother Sean in 3,934 days.
Dylan Gill has not seen his father Russell in 12,500 days.
Melissa Paris has not seen her father Jean-Francois in 8,419 days.
Valeska Paris has not seen her brother Raphael in 4,587 days.
Mirriam Francis has not seen her brother Ben in 4,168 days.
Claudio and Renata Lugli have not seen their son Flavio in 4,429 days.
Sara Goldberg has not seen her daughter Ashley in 3,466 days.
Lori Hodgson has not seen her son Jeremy and daughter Jessica in 3,181 days.
Marie Bilheimer has not seen her mother June in 2,745 days.
Julian Wain has not seen his brother Joseph or mother Susan in 1,060 days.
Charley Updegrove has not seen his son Toby in 2,235 days.
Joe Reaiche has not seen his daughter Alanna Masterson in 6,786 days
Derek Bloch has not seen his father Darren in 3,917 days.
Cindy Plahuta has not seen her daughter Kara in 4,255 days.
Roger Weller has not seen his daughter Alyssa in 9,110 days.
Claire Headley has not seen her mother Gen in 4,229 days.
Ramana Dienes-Browning has not seen her mother Jancis in 2,585 days.
Mike Rinder has not seen his son Benjamin and daughter Taryn in 6,888 days.
Brian Sheen has not seen his daughter Spring in 2,994 days.
Skip Young has not seen his daughters Megan and Alexis in 3,392 days.
Mary Kahn has not seen her son Sammy in 3,268 days.
Lois Reisdorf has not seen her son Craig in 2,851 days.
Phil and Willie Jones have not seen their son Mike and daughter Emily in 3,346 days.
Mary Jane Barry has not seen her daughter Samantha in 3,600 days.
Kate Bornstein has not seen her daughter Jessica in 14,709 days.


Posted by Tony Ortega on February 3, 2023 at 07:00

E-mail tips to tonyo94 AT gmail DOT com or follow us on Twitter. We also post updates at our Facebook author page. After every new story we send out an alert to our e-mail list and our FB page.

Our new book with Paulette Cooper, Battlefield Scientology: Exposing L. Ron Hubbard’s dangerous ‘religion’ is now on sale at Amazon in paperback and Kindle formats. Our book about Paulette, The Unbreakable Miss Lovely: How the Church of Scientology tried to destroy Paulette Cooper, is on sale at Amazon in paperback, Kindle, and audiobook versions. We’ve posted photographs of Paulette and scenes from her life at a separate location. Reader Sookie put together a complete index. More information can also be found at the book’s dedicated page.

The Best of the Underground Bunker, 1995-2021 Just starting out here? We’ve picked out the most important stories we’ve covered here at the Underground Bunker (2012-2021), The Village Voice (2008-2012), New Times Los Angeles (1999-2002) and the Phoenix New Times (1995-1999)

Other links: BLOGGING DIANETICS: Reading Scientology’s founding text cover to cover | UP THE BRIDGE: Claire Headley and Bruce Hines train us as Scientologists | GETTING OUR ETHICS IN: Jefferson Hawkins explains Scientology’s system of justice | SCIENTOLOGY MYTHBUSTING: Historian Jon Atack discusses key Scientology concepts | Shelly Miscavige, 15 years gone | The Lisa McPherson story told in real time | The Cathriona White stories | The Leah Remini ‘Knowledge Reports’ | Hear audio of a Scientology excommunication | Scientology’s little day care of horrors | Whatever happened to Steve Fishman? | Felony charges for Scientology’s drug rehab scam | Why Scientology digs bomb-proof vaults in the desert | PZ Myers reads L. Ron Hubbard’s “A History of Man” | Scientology’s Master Spies | The mystery of the richest Scientologist and his wayward sons | Scientology’s shocking mistreatment of the mentally ill | The Underground Bunker’s Official Theme Song | The Underground Bunker FAQ

Watch our short videos that explain Scientology’s controversies in three minutes or less…

Check your whale level at our dedicated page for status updates, or join us at the Underground Bunker’s Facebook discussion group for more frivolity.

Our non-Scientology stories: Robert Burnham Jr., the man who inscribed the universe | Notorious alt-right inspiration Kevin MacDonald and his theories about Jewish DNA | The selling of the “Phoenix Lights” | Astronomer Harlow Shapley‘s FBI file | Sex, spies, and local TV news | Battling Babe-Hounds: Ross Jeffries v. R. Don Steele


Tony Ortega at The Daily Beast


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