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Of course Scientology works — it has graphs and charts and stuff!

[Stuck in life? LRH has a chart for that!]

Leaks like the one we have today are really fascinating to us, because they allow us to put ourselves in the position of Scientologists being hit up by this relentless organization that asks so much from its members, and of course asks for so much of their money.

This is yet again another appeal by the folks in Dublin aimed specifically at a target in Canada. (What is it with the Dubliners going after Canucks?) And we especially like the scientific touch.

Of course Scientology works: It’s all spelled out in charts and graphs!

We’d love it if our old-timers could help us understand what it is about this graph that is supposed to be such a sexy temptation for our poor Canadian mark. What is it about this chart that it should suggest to us that flying to Dublin is such a great prospect we will want to get on the next plane and hope our own charts and graphs put out the same squiggles!



Speaking of Ireland, when we recently wrote about a sneaky Scientology front group, United for Human Rights, trying to get its hooks into some Ukrainian refugees, we talked to a reporter at the Sunday World there who was also curious about it. But he got an even better story because he noticed that a local Dublin councillor, Brian Lawlor, was maintaining a kind of bizarre relationship with Scientology.

Reporter Alan Sherry found that while Lawlor publicly called Scientology a “cult” and said things like, “I would tell anyone not to get involved. It’s a cult to me. It’s always going to be a cult and I’d never get involved in it,” at the same time he had appeared in a number of videos with Scientology volunteers and front groups, and had even called on Scientology to help out with some local public projects.

Um, WTF? Which is it, councillor, is Scientology a nefarious cult, or are you going to ring them up to help out with your next gladhanding local works project?

We can’t ever remember a politician trying to have it both ways like this in such a blatant way, and we salute Alan Sherry for catching Lawlor so red-handed.


Technology Cocktail

“We bought an awful lot of time with the discovery of the exact nature of between lives implants and how it’s worked. Using this data it is possible to keep any Scientologist from ever getting another one of those implants. As the general course of living is therapeutic, it takes violent implants such as Earth people get at every death to keep people unaware of former lives and aberrated. Just by omitting those implants and using their reporting technology to keep in touch amongst ourselves, we would salvage the lot in a few hundred years in any event. Our data is too widely disseminated to be re-collected and burned. And just the other day I was personally looking over their shoulders. World clearing is possible without extensive Auditing if we just keep our own show on the road and keep track of each other.” — L. Ron Hubbard, 1963


Now available: Bonus for our supporters


Episode 2 of the Underground Bunker podcast has been sent out to paid subscribers, and it’s a doozy: Claire Headley talks to us about the way she called out Tom Cruise on Facebook recently, and describes her interactions with him in surprising new detail, as well as revelations about Tom that came directly from David Miscavige! Meanwhile, we’ve made episode 1 available to everyone, it’s Marc Headley on what it must be like for Miscavige living in Clearwater, Florida. It’s Marc at his most irrepressible! Go here to get the episodes!


Source Code

“It’s very funny, you know: bodies have machinery laid into them from other times. It’s quite interesting. You’ll find some preclear wallowing around one time or another: ‘Well, look what I have done to this body. Look at the horrible machinery and things I have set up.’ Then he wonders why it runs much faster and gets much more solid. Well, some thetan that had the thing on the genetic line way back when has already installed a tremendous number of items. You didn’t install everything that’s wrong with your body.” — L. Ron Hubbard, July 5, 1957


Avast, Ye Mateys

“MOVIES AND BOOKS: I have a movie to rewrite and some book work to do. I wish all hands would get the orgs off my desk. One blessing: I am not having to stir the crew’s soup. Thank you Service Div FSO. I think you’re great! The FAO has no top brass yet. That would help.” — The Commodore, July 5, 1971


Overheard in the FreeZone

“LRH does deliver on his promises. The level works. The State of Operating Thetan or Theta Clear do really exist! They are conditions of the static. Thought does influence matter and on OT 7 if you apply the tech and keep your ethics in, the gain will surpass anything you’ve ever imagined. My tip: forget all the noise. Get back onto standard tech. Find an auditor. Find a twin, write your O/W’s, read a book, get back onto session, take a course. Not only will your life will start to get better but you will feel a lot of happiness. Scientology is really the only existing way to spiritual freedom. This technology when properly applied is wonderful.”



Past is Prologue

1995: Martin Poulter, maintainer of the U.K. Scientology critic’s WWW page, has had his account suspended due to threats from the church. “The complaint is specifically about my posting copyrighted material to alt.religion.scientology. I believe that what I was doing was within my rights, but I will now have to stop doing so in order to protect my system operators. I have told the university that I will do anything necessary to save them from further harassment. This will include taking copyrighted material off my Web page as well as toning down my posts to a.r.s. I have taken care in my postings to make sure that Scientology do not have a leg to stand on legally, but the University does not want any involvement in legal action and I do not want to put the Web service at risk.”


Random Howdy

“It’s 10:30 and I’m enjoying a fine bottle of rot gut vodka so I’m in no mood for deciphering new Scientology acronyms.”


Full Court Press: What we’re watching at the Underground Bunker

Criminal prosecutions:
Danny Masterson charged for raping three women: Trial scheduled for October 11.
‘Lafayette Ronald Hubbard’ (a/k/a Justin Craig), aggravated assault, plus drug charges: Last hearing was on January 18, referred to grand jury. Additional charges also referred to grand jury after January 5 assault while in jail.
Jay and Jeff Spina, Medicare fraud: Jay sentenced to 9 years in prison. Jeff’s sentencing to be scheduled.

Rizza Islam and other family members, Medi-Cal fraud: Readiness hearing scheduled for August 22 in Los Angeles
David Gentile, GPB Capital, fraud: Next pretrial conference set for September 19.
Yanti Mike Greene, Scientology private eye accused of contempt of court: Found guilty of criminal and civil contempt.

Civil litigation:
Baxter, Baxter, and Paris v. Scientology, alleging labor trafficking: Complaint filed April 28 in Tampa federal court.
Valerie Haney v. Scientology: Forced to ‘religious arbitration.’ Valerie’s motion for reconsideration denied on March 15. Nominated Elisabeth Moss to be an arbitrator in July 1 letter. Next hearing July 6.
Chrissie Bixler et al. v. Scientology and Danny Masterson: Appellate court removes requirement of arbitration on January 19, case remanded back to Superior Court. Stay in place, next status hearing October 25.
Brian Statler Sr v. City of Inglewood: Third amended complaint filed, trial set for December 6.
Author Steve Cannane defamation trial: New trial ordered after appeals court overturned prior ruling.
Chiropractors Steve Peyroux and Brent Detelich, stem cell fraud: Lawsuit filed by the FTC and state of Georgia in August, now in discovery phase.



We first broke the news of the LAPD’s investigation of Scientology celebrity Danny Masterson on rape allegations in 2017, and we’ve been covering the story every step of the way since then. At this page we’ve collected our most important links, including our four days in Los Angeles covering the preliminary hearing and its ruling, which has Danny facing trial and the potential sentence of 45 years to life in prison.


After the success of their double-Emmy-winning, three-season A&E series ‘Scientology and the Aftermath,’ Leah Remini and Mike Rinder continue the conversation on their podcast, ‘Scientology: Fair Game.’ We’ve created a landing page where you can hear all of the episodes so far.


An episode-by-episode guide to Leah Remini’s three-season, double-Emmy winning series that changed everything for Scientology watching. Originally aired from 2016 to 2019 on the A&E network, and now on Netflix.


Find your favorite Hubbardite celeb at this index page — or suggest someone to add to the list!

Other links: SCIENTOLOGY BLACK OPS: Tom Cruise and dirty tricks. Scientology’s Ideal Orgs, from one end of the planet to the other. Scientology’s sneaky front groups, spreading the good news about L. Ron Hubbard while pretending to benefit society. Scientology Lit: Books reviewed or excerpted in a weekly series. How many have you read?


[ONE year ago] Take Scientology’s quiz to see if you qualify for the Sea Org and its billion-year contract!
[TWO years ago] ‘Scientology is dead’ says the ex-con claiming he’s the reincarnated L. Ron Hubbard
[THREE years ago] More rich donors propping up Scientology are revealed in a church magazine
[FOUR years ago] Shocking molestation claims inside Scientology leaking out before ‘Aftermath’ episode
[FIVE years ago] Scientology’s all-hands-on-deck gathering in the Valley caught in pics
[SIX years ago] Battle for a Scientology soul: Kazakh 20-year-old ‘prisoner’ is back home, but will she stay?
[SEVEN years ago] LIVE REPORTS: Scientology leader David Miscavige opens “Ideal Org” in Colombia today
[EIGHT years ago] John Joseph, 1955-2014: A Scientologist, and a friend to the Underground Bunker
[NINE years ago] Has Leah Remini Left the Church of Scientology?


Scientology disconnection, a reminder

Bernie Headley (1952-2019) did not see his daughter Stephanie in his final 5,667 days.
Valerie Haney has not seen her mother Lynne in 2,716 days.
Katrina Reyes has not seen her mother Yelena in 3,221 days
Sylvia Wagner DeWall has not seen her brother Randy in 2,771 days.
Brian Sheen has not seen his grandson Leo in 1,761 days.
Geoff Levin has not seen his son Collin and daughter Savannah in 1,652 days.
Christie Collbran has not seen her mother Liz King in 4,958 days.
Clarissa Adams has not seen her parents Walter and Irmin Huber in 2,827 days.
Carol Nyburg has not seen her daughter Nancy in 3,601 days.
Doug Kramer has not seen his parents Linda and Norm in 1,932 days.
Jamie Sorrentini Lugli has not seen her father Irving in 4,405 days.
Quailynn McDaniel has not seen her brother Sean in 3,721 days.
Dylan Gill has not seen his father Russell in 12,287 days.
Melissa Paris has not seen her father Jean-Francois in 8,206 days.
Valeska Paris has not seen her brother Raphael in 4,374 days.
Mirriam Francis has not seen her brother Ben in 3,954 days.
Claudio and Renata Lugli have not seen their son Flavio in 4,216 days.
Sara Goldberg has not seen her daughter Ashley in 3,252 days.
Lori Hodgson has not seen her son Jeremy and daughter Jessica in 2,967 days.
Marie Bilheimer has not seen her mother June in 2,492 days.
Julian Wain has not seen his brother Joseph or mother Susan in 847 days.
Charley Updegrove has not seen his son Toby in 2,022 days.
Joe Reaiche has not seen his daughter Alanna Masterson in 6,573 days
Derek Bloch has not seen his father Darren in 3,722 days.
Cindy Plahuta has not seen her daughter Kara in 4,042 days.
Roger Weller has not seen his daughter Alyssa in 8,897 days.
Claire Headley has not seen her mother Gen in 4,016 days.
Ramana Dienes-Browning has not seen her mother Jancis in 2,372 days.
Mike Rinder has not seen his son Benjamin and daughter Taryn in 6,675 days.
Brian Sheen has not seen his daughter Spring in 2,781 days.
Skip Young has not seen his daughters Megan and Alexis in 3,179 days.
Mary Kahn has not seen her son Sammy in 3,055 days.
Lois Reisdorf has not seen her son Craig in 2,638 days.
Phil and Willie Jones have not seen their son Mike and daughter Emily in 3,133 days.
Mary Jane Barry has not seen her daughter Samantha in 3,387 days.
Kate Bornstein has not seen her daughter Jessica in 14,496 days.


Posted by Tony Ortega on July 5, 2022 at 07:00

E-mail tips to tonyo94 AT gmail DOT com or follow us on Twitter. We also post updates at our Facebook author page. After every new story we send out an alert to our e-mail list and our FB page.

Our new book with Paulette Cooper, Battlefield Scientology: Exposing L. Ron Hubbard’s dangerous ‘religion’ is now on sale at Amazon in paperback and Kindle formats. Our book about Paulette, The Unbreakable Miss Lovely: How the Church of Scientology tried to destroy Paulette Cooper, is on sale at Amazon in paperback, Kindle, and audiobook versions. We’ve posted photographs of Paulette and scenes from her life at a separate location. Reader Sookie put together a complete index. More information can also be found at the book’s dedicated page.

The Best of the Underground Bunker, 1995-2021 Just starting out here? We’ve picked out the most important stories we’ve covered here at the Underground Bunker (2012-2021), The Village Voice (2008-2012), New Times Los Angeles (1999-2002) and the Phoenix New Times (1995-1999)

Other links: BLOGGING DIANETICS: Reading Scientology’s founding text cover to cover | UP THE BRIDGE: Claire Headley and Bruce Hines train us as Scientologists | GETTING OUR ETHICS IN: Jefferson Hawkins explains Scientology’s system of justice | SCIENTOLOGY MYTHBUSTING: Historian Jon Atack discusses key Scientology concepts | Shelly Miscavige, 15 years gone | The Lisa McPherson story told in real time | The Cathriona White stories | The Leah Remini ‘Knowledge Reports’ | Hear audio of a Scientology excommunication | Scientology’s little day care of horrors | Whatever happened to Steve Fishman? | Felony charges for Scientology’s drug rehab scam | Why Scientology digs bomb-proof vaults in the desert | PZ Myers reads L. Ron Hubbard’s “A History of Man” | Scientology’s Master Spies | The mystery of the richest Scientologist and his wayward sons | Scientology’s shocking mistreatment of the mentally ill | The Underground Bunker’s Official Theme Song | The Underground Bunker FAQ

Watch our short videos that explain Scientology’s controversies in three minutes or less…

Check your whale level at our dedicated page for status updates, or join us at the Underground Bunker’s Facebook discussion group for more frivolity.

Our non-Scientology stories: Robert Burnham Jr., the man who inscribed the universe | Notorious alt-right inspiration Kevin MacDonald and his theories about Jewish DNA | The selling of the “Phoenix Lights” | Astronomer Harlow Shapley‘s FBI file | Sex, spies, and local TV news | Battling Babe-Hounds: Ross Jeffries v. R. Don Steele


Tony Ortega at The Daily Beast


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