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Yo baby! Turning over your hard-earned cash to Scientology never felt so good

It’s always fun to see a familiar face in the propaganda put out by Scientology, and this week we really got a blast from the past.

If you’ve been with us for a while, you may remember that in 2013 the push for new “Ideal Orgs” developed a new wrinkle with the idea of folks from one Scientology-impoverished region schlepping over to another as a way to convince them to fork over more cash.

We first noticed it when the poor saps in Kansas City were told to go to the Twin Cities to see how the Ideal Org was doing there. This would convince them to reach deep and come up with the money for a similar cathedral back in Missouri.

In order to convince the KC people to get on a bus, they were sent a video from the Minnesota folks that still knocks us out. It featured an enthusiastic OT Scientologist by the name of David Brier, and his “yo baby” mantra was mesmerizing.



As a result, over the years we’ve made a note whenever Brier has appeared in Scientology propaganda, like this one that popped up a few years later…


And now, Brier and his wife Sherry have once again made an effort to help out with another Ideal Org in another part of the country. This time, it’s Battle Creek, Michigan, which is among a number of different projects raising money for a new facility.

David and Sherry have donated $5,000 (“Alumni”) to kick off a new effort to raise money against a $1.5 million match from Scientology whale Tom Cummins. (At least, that’s how we read the flier.) How many more Alumni and Benefactor ($50,000) and Humanitarian ($100,000) donors will join the game?



Bonus items from our tipsters


Meanwhile, on Scientology Facebook…


And even more fundraising news…


And more Battle Creek news: With Michael Chan on your side (remember, sifting for Obi Wans?), how can you lose?



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Source Code

“Gormley Castle used to be down here. I was riding over to a tourney one day and was half-armed in a rainstorm, I had half steel armor on in a rainstorm. The rest of it slung on the back of the horse. Brother with me and a groom and they had the rest of the armor. And so ‘elp me, lightning ‘it. And you know armor on wet ground makes the most marvelous conductor. Knocked me plumb silly, it did. Plumb silly. It’s happened to me several times….It makes you flinch, and so forth. I remember at that particular instance I rode right on to the castle and the grooms went out and got the bodies and my brother was still alive, but the groom was awful dead and laid the body on the bed. I stood there, you know and thought that was OK and went back over to Europe and walked in and I fell over the old mither who was busy scrubbing the floor and of course, wet, you know, volts were coming up me like that and I step in her scrub bucket and walked through her and she gets a ‘ell of a shock, you know. she says, ‘Coo, what’s that?’ you know or words to that effect. It was about 1495, something like that. And so I pick up my fist and I start to say, ‘Godderdammerung, bring me in some mead,’ you know. And I go bang, you know and my fist goes straight through the table. And I say, ‘Wait a minute, boy. Oh, no, I’m dead.’ Bright, moonlight night and there’s a dog howling outside, so I walk out in the moonlight and decide for the next 55 years I’ll have to be a ghost. Well, it was a very shocking experience. But you could get discombobulated and upset and not know what you were doing. I didn’t. I went and picked up a baby or two, but — Anyhow, the point is, is it takes a lot more than you’re even aware of confronting in order to pick up electronic masses and then keep mocking them up because, you see, they’re so dangerous because you have to keep them mocked up, you see, because they’re so dangerous, you see? It’s very logical.” — L. Ron Hubbard, May 1, 1962


Avast, Ye Mateys

“I am waiting, not altogether patiently, for the individuals aboard to realize that they are a ships company and responsible to each other for the survival of the ship and each other. Until this company insists to one another that each do his duty and that crazy outnesses are threats to survival and must caese the ship is at risk. This ships company has not right whatever to dump on me the arduos task of catching dropped balls and single-handing this vessel over the top of wild goofs in food, fuel, security, repairs and maintenance and appearance. Until I see a distinct change of attitude and increased awareness in efficiency, 1. There will be no allowances. 2. There will not be any shore liberty. 3. There will be no leave. 4. And you will see Ethics as heavy and unpredictable as the goofs that are being handed me to handle. As long as the ships company remains this irresponsible and idle and refuses to insist on smart competence amongst themselves this ship is in grave danger of catastrophe. You better wake up before you wake up dead.”— The Commodore, May 1, 1969


Overheard in the FreeZone

“Ron built half a bridge, but more critically he discovered the materials for construction of a bridge — auditing basics, axioms etc. Why are people worried that he is now attempting to complete a non-complete bridge? A half finished bridge should not be a stable datum for these people, but the materials of bridge construction and the purpose to build a complete bridge should be a stable datum.”



Past is Prologue

2000: Rod Keller posted details of a secret Scientology plan to boost revenues for Battlefield Earth in a ticket refund scheme. “Scientologists are quietly being told when they go to the theater to see BE they are to buy extra tickets. They are then to return the unused tickets to a person who is designated in their area for a refund. Those who might seek the refund are to be asked if they would like to make that as a ‘donation,’ saving the refund costs. In some cases, some staff are being designated to go and buy a block of tickets, but not too many to be noticed, (say 6-8) and not even go but take them back to the org for the refund. This is to be done for several weeks. Scientologists are being told to do it as a ‘birthday present to Ron.’ Some already love the idea of making it #1. They are also being told they can give the tickets to friends to promote Hubbard, another idea they also like. ASI has set aside several million dollars for this that they will mark off in some ‘promotional’ manner. The heaviest is to be done in the first week as that is the first make/break point and then it will go into week #2. In fact, there is a whole BE-promo team that has been set up to coordinate this, to make sure the Scientologists go and that they buy the extra tickets.”


Random Howdy

“Penguins and leopard seals are difficult to audit. LRH exteriorized and attempted to do this, but found it too daunting. The penguins had too many withholds, and the leopard seals had too many overts.”


Full Court Press: What we’re watching at the Underground Bunker

Criminal prosecutions:
Danny Masterson charged for raping three women: Next pretrial conference May 31. Trial scheduled for August 29.
‘Lafayette Ronald Hubbard’ (a/k/a Justin Craig), aggravated assault, plus drug charges: Last hearing was on January 18, referred to grand jury. Additional charges also referred to grand jury after January 5 assault while in jail.
Jay and Jeff Spina, Medicare fraud: Jay sentenced to 9 years in prison. Jeff’s sentencing to be scheduled.

Rizza Islam and other family members, Medi-Cal fraud: Pretrial conference May 20 in Los Angeles
David Gentile, GPB Capital, fraud: Next pretrial conference set for May 5.
Joseph ‘Ben’ Barton, Medicare fraud: Pleaded guilty, awaiting sentencing.
Yanti Mike Greene, Scientology private eye accused of contempt of court: Found guilty of criminal and civil contempt.

Civil litigation:
Baxter, Baxter, and Paris v. Scientology, alleging labor trafficking: Complaint filed April 28 in Tampa federal court.
Luis and Rocio Garcia v. Scientology: Eleventh Circuit affirmed ruling granting Scientology’s motion for arbitration. Garcias considering next move.
Valerie Haney v. Scientology: Forced to ‘religious arbitration.’ Valerie’s motion for reconsideration denied on March 15.
Chrissie Bixler et al. v. Scientology and Danny Masterson: Appellate court removes requirement of arbitration on January 19, case remanded back to Superior Court. Next hearing scheduled for June 29.
Brian Statler Sr v. City of Inglewood: Third amended complaint filed, trial set for June 28.
Author Steve Cannane defamation trial: Trial concluded, Cannane victorious, awarded court costs. Appeal hearing held Aug 23-27. Awaiting a ruling.
Chiropractors Steve Peyroux and Brent Detelich, stem cell fraud: Lawsuit filed by the FTC and state of Georgia in August, now in discovery phase.



We first broke the news of the LAPD’s investigation of Scientology celebrity Danny Masterson on rape allegations in 2017, and we’ve been covering the story every step of the way since then. At this page we’ve collected our most important links, including our four days in Los Angeles covering the preliminary hearing and its ruling, which has Danny facing trial and the potential sentence of 45 years to life in prison.


After the success of their double-Emmy-winning, three-season A&E series ‘Scientology and the Aftermath,’ Leah Remini and Mike Rinder continue the conversation on their podcast, ‘Scientology: Fair Game.’ We’ve created a landing page where you can hear all of the episodes so far.


An episode-by-episode guide to Leah Remini’s three-season, double-Emmy winning series that changed everything for Scientology watching. Originally aired from 2016 to 2019 on the A&E network, and now on Netflix.


Find your favorite Hubbardite celeb at this index page — or suggest someone to add to the list!

Other links: SCIENTOLOGY BLACK OPS: Tom Cruise and dirty tricks. Scientology’s Ideal Orgs, from one end of the planet to the other. Scientology’s sneaky front groups, spreading the good news about L. Ron Hubbard while pretending to benefit society. Scientology Lit: Books reviewed or excerpted in a weekly series. How many have you read?


[ONE year ago] IN HER OWN WORDS: Danny Masterson accuser rips LAPD miscues in 2017 letter
[TWO years ago] Apologist journal smacked down by best ever Scientology prof — and with Bunker assist
[THREE years ago] Scientology staffers: Putting up with chaos and hardships as they hope for promised OT powers
[FOUR years ago] Scientology tries to get a Christian minister in trouble for helping Dee Findlay burn her past
[FIVE years ago] Professor Hugh Urban takes us to task for our review of his Scientology OT 8 investigation
[SIX years ago] Scientology’s champion endorses ‘Ruthless,’ and more in our weekly social media review!
[SEVEN years ago] Leaving Scientology: ‘I think this recovery is something I’ll be doing the rest of my life’
[EIGHT years ago] Scientology’s E-meter police, and the horse doctor of LaBelle, Florida
[NINE years ago] SCIENTOLOGY DENIED: CA Appeals Court Won’t Help Church in Forced-Abortion Lawsuit


Scientology disconnection, a reminder

Bernie Headley (1952-2019) did not see his daughter Stephanie in his final 5,667 days.
Valerie Haney has not seen her mother Lynne in 2,651 days.
Katrina Reyes has not seen her mother Yelena in 3,156 days
Sylvia Wagner DeWall has not seen her brother Randy in 2,706 days.
Brian Sheen has not seen his grandson Leo in 1,696 days.
Geoff Levin has not seen his son Collin and daughter Savannah in 1,587 days.
Christie Collbran has not seen her mother Liz King in 4,894 days.
Clarissa Adams has not seen her parents Walter and Irmin Huber in 2,762 days.
Carol Nyburg has not seen her daughter Nancy in 3,536 days.
Doug Kramer has not seen his parents Linda and Norm in 1,867 days.
Jamie Sorrentini Lugli has not seen her father Irving in 4,340 days.
Quailynn McDaniel has not seen her brother Sean in 3,656 days.
Dylan Gill has not seen his father Russell in 12,222 days.
Melissa Paris has not seen her father Jean-Francois in 8,141 days.
Valeska Paris has not seen her brother Raphael in 4,309 days.
Mirriam Francis has not seen her brother Ben in 3,889 days.
Claudio and Renata Lugli have not seen their son Flavio in 4,151 days.
Sara Goldberg has not seen her daughter Ashley in 3,187 days.
Lori Hodgson has not seen her son Jeremy and daughter Jessica in 2,902 days.
Marie Bilheimer has not seen her mother June in 2,427 days.
Julian Wain has not seen his brother Joseph or mother Susan in 782 days.
Charley Updegrove has not seen his son Toby in 1,957 days.
Joe Reaiche has not seen his daughter Alanna Masterson in 6,508 days
Derek Bloch has not seen his father Darren in 3,657 days.
Cindy Plahuta has not seen her daughter Kara in 3,977 days.
Roger Weller has not seen his daughter Alyssa in 8,832 days.
Claire Headley has not seen her mother Gen in 3,951 days.
Ramana Dienes-Browning has not seen her mother Jancis in 2,307 days.
Mike Rinder has not seen his son Benjamin and daughter Taryn in 6,610 days.
Brian Sheen has not seen his daughter Spring in 2,716 days.
Skip Young has not seen his daughters Megan and Alexis in 3,114 days.
Mary Kahn has not seen her son Sammy in 2,990 days.
Lois Reisdorf has not seen her son Craig in 2,573 days.
Phil and Willie Jones have not seen their son Mike and daughter Emily in 3,068 days.
Mary Jane Barry has not seen her daughter Samantha in 3,322 days.
Kate Bornstein has not seen her daughter Jessica in 14,431 days.


Posted by Tony Ortega on May 1, 2022 at 07:00

E-mail tips to tonyo94 AT gmail DOT com or follow us on Twitter. We also post updates at our Facebook author page. After every new story we send out an alert to our e-mail list and our FB page.

Our new book with Paulette Cooper, Battlefield Scientology: Exposing L. Ron Hubbard’s dangerous ‘religion’ is now on sale at Amazon in paperback and Kindle formats. Our book about Paulette, The Unbreakable Miss Lovely: How the Church of Scientology tried to destroy Paulette Cooper, is on sale at Amazon in paperback, Kindle, and audiobook versions. We’ve posted photographs of Paulette and scenes from her life at a separate location. Reader Sookie put together a complete index. More information can also be found at the book’s dedicated page.

The Best of the Underground Bunker, 1995-2021 Just starting out here? We’ve picked out the most important stories we’ve covered here at the Underground Bunker (2012-2021), The Village Voice (2008-2012), New Times Los Angeles (1999-2002) and the Phoenix New Times (1995-1999)

Other links: BLOGGING DIANETICS: Reading Scientology’s founding text cover to cover | UP THE BRIDGE: Claire Headley and Bruce Hines train us as Scientologists | GETTING OUR ETHICS IN: Jefferson Hawkins explains Scientology’s system of justice | SCIENTOLOGY MYTHBUSTING: Historian Jon Atack discusses key Scientology concepts | Shelly Miscavige, 15 years gone | The Lisa McPherson story told in real time | The Cathriona White stories | The Leah Remini ‘Knowledge Reports’ | Hear audio of a Scientology excommunication | Scientology’s little day care of horrors | Whatever happened to Steve Fishman? | Felony charges for Scientology’s drug rehab scam | Why Scientology digs bomb-proof vaults in the desert | PZ Myers reads L. Ron Hubbard’s “A History of Man” | Scientology’s Master Spies | The mystery of the richest Scientologist and his wayward sons | Scientology’s shocking mistreatment of the mentally ill | The Underground Bunker’s Official Theme Song | The Underground Bunker FAQ

Watch our short videos that explain Scientology’s controversies in three minutes or less…

Check your whale level at our dedicated page for status updates, or join us at the Underground Bunker’s Facebook discussion group for more frivolity.

Our non-Scientology stories: Robert Burnham Jr., the man who inscribed the universe | Notorious alt-right inspiration Kevin MacDonald and his theories about Jewish DNA | The selling of the “Phoenix Lights” | Astronomer Harlow Shapley‘s FBI file | Sex, spies, and local TV news | Battling Babe-Hounds: Ross Jeffries v. R. Don Steele


Tony Ortega at The Daily Beast


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